1
00:00:02,546 --> 00:00:03,647
We're pinned down!
2
00:00:03,649 --> 00:00:04,748
We can't get through!
3
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:06,349
Sheldon, get over here and help!
4
00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:07,951
Okay, one second.
5
00:00:10,255 --> 00:00:12,489
Sheldon, why are you
jumping up and down?
6
00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:13,990
I'm trying to shoot.
7
00:00:13,992 --> 00:00:15,125
Then use the shoot button,
8
00:00:15,127 --> 00:00:17,727
not the "wonderful thing
about Tiggers" button!
9
00:00:17,729 --> 00:00:20,096
Aw.
10
00:00:20,098 --> 00:00:21,998
That's it, we're dead.
11
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,366
Okay, challenge them again.
12
00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:25,335
Doing it right now.
13
00:00:25,337 --> 00:00:26,569
Oh, they can't.
14
00:00:26,571 --> 00:00:30,307
There's an important
Little League game tomorrow.
15
00:00:30,309 --> 00:00:34,110
No wonder they beat us, they're jocks.
16
00:00:34,112 --> 00:00:35,912
What happened to me?
17
00:00:35,914 --> 00:00:37,814
I used to excel at these things.
18
00:00:37,816 --> 00:00:39,749
Kids are always better at video games.
19
00:00:39,751 --> 00:00:41,685
Well, I don't like it.
20
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:44,127
Mm, if it makes you feel better,
you still dress like a child.
21
00:00:45,490 --> 00:00:46,823
No, but it's not just video games.
22
00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:49,659
I downloaded the new O.S.
for my phone, took me a week
23
00:00:49,661 --> 00:00:53,296
to stop accidentally texting
kissy faces to everyone.
24
00:00:53,298 --> 00:00:55,999
Oh, so our love is not real?
25
00:00:56,001 --> 00:00:58,668
Well, I-I know how you feel.
26
00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:01,271
I tried one of those
electronic Japanese toilets,
27
00:01:01,273 --> 00:01:04,574
practically shot myself across the room.
28
00:01:05,544 --> 00:01:06,910
I guess I just need to face it,
29
00:01:06,912 --> 00:01:08,511
I'm no longer a wunderkind.
30
00:01:08,513 --> 00:01:11,681
Now I just wonder what's for lunch.
31
00:01:11,683 --> 00:01:12,515
Hot dogs.
32
00:01:12,517 --> 00:01:15,185
Yay.
33
00:01:15,187 --> 00:01:18,822
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
34
00:01:18,824 --> 00:01:22,158
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
35
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,793
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
36
00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:26,329
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
37
00:01:26,331 --> 00:01:28,998
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
38
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,668
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
39
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,570
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
40
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:33,966
♪ Bang! ♪
41
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:37,467
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x22 ♪
The Cognition Regeneration
Original Air D
42
00:01:37,468 --> 00:01:39,468
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
43
00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:42,522
I didn't know you could drink
while you're breastfeeding.
44
00:01:42,524 --> 00:01:45,325
Yeah, they say the yeast in beer
helps with milk production.
45
00:01:45,327 --> 00:01:47,660
I'm pretty sure that's a myth,
let me check.
46
00:01:47,662 --> 00:01:50,730
Ruin it for me and I'll break
this glass over your head.
47
00:01:50,732 --> 00:01:53,199
To denial.
48
00:01:54,736 --> 00:01:55,835
Oh, I'm gonna get another.
49
00:01:55,837 --> 00:01:57,270
You want food?
50
00:01:57,272 --> 00:02:00,707
Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like,
5,000 calories a day.
51
00:02:00,709 --> 00:02:02,475
Do not touch that phone.
52
00:02:06,114 --> 00:02:07,313
Penny?
53
00:02:07,315 --> 00:02:09,515
Oh, Zack. Hey.
54
00:02:09,517 --> 00:02:11,117
What are the odds
of running into you here?
55
00:02:11,119 --> 00:02:14,020
Well, it's a bar, so pretty good.
56
00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:15,855
Uh, what's new?
57
00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:17,056
Oh, tons of stuff.
58
00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,625
Put artificial grass
in my backyard, got engaged,
59
00:02:19,627 --> 00:02:23,963
had a scary mole
that turned out to be Sharpie.
60
00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:25,298
Well, congratulations.
61
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,633
That's what my dermatologist said.
62
00:02:27,635 --> 00:02:30,336
No, on-on getting engaged,
good for you.
63
00:02:30,338 --> 00:02:31,838
Oh, thanks. How about you?
64
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:32,939
Hey, how's Leonard?
65
00:02:32,941 --> 00:02:34,340
Is he still smart?
66
00:02:35,342 --> 00:02:37,509
Yes, yes, he's working
for the government
67
00:02:37,511 --> 00:02:39,678
on an infinite persistence gyroscope.
68
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,082
Of course, the first time
I say it right,
69
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,949
he's not even here.
70
00:02:42,951 --> 00:02:44,418
I love that little guy.
71
00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:46,753
Hey, we should all have dinner sometime.
72
00:02:46,755 --> 00:02:48,655
Uh, yeah, sure, I'll check with Leonard.
73
00:02:48,657 --> 00:02:50,824
Cool, I'll check with Sara.
74
00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:53,927
Sara, pull up my calendar.
75
00:02:55,731 --> 00:02:57,798
It never works for me.
76
00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:05,071
I've been thinking about
our recent humiliation.
77
00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:07,607
You're gonna have to be more specific.
78
00:03:07,609 --> 00:03:09,943
At the hands of those teenagers.
79
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,278
More.
80
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,194
Boy teenagers.
81
00:03:15,219 --> 00:03:17,419
Oh, the video game.
Yeah, that was bad.
82
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:21,455
I started doing some reading
on cognitive vitality,
83
00:03:21,457 --> 00:03:25,078
and I came across an area of
research called "super-aging."
84
00:03:25,102 --> 00:03:27,594
You know who's a super-ager?
Jennifer Lopez.
85
00:03:27,619 --> 00:03:29,886
Like, what is her secret?
86
00:03:30,988 --> 00:03:32,599
Now, this is rare.
87
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:35,848
I don't know which one of you
I want to stop talking first.
88
00:03:36,726 --> 00:03:40,317
The theory is that if you
really tax your brain,
89
00:03:40,342 --> 00:03:42,275
the neurofibers will become thicker
90
00:03:42,277 --> 00:03:44,352
and the glial cells more lustrous.
91
00:03:44,377 --> 00:03:46,678
Like JLo's hair.
92
00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:50,851
Boy, it is neck and neck right now.
93
00:03:50,853 --> 00:03:52,586
How is super-aging any different
94
00:03:52,588 --> 00:03:54,354
than, like, doing crossword puzzles?
95
00:03:54,356 --> 00:03:56,323
Well, it's not just doing
simple cognitive tasks.
96
00:03:56,325 --> 00:03:58,458
You need to push your brain
out of its comfort zone
97
00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:00,527
and reach mental exhaustion.
98
00:04:00,529 --> 00:04:02,195
I drive you to work every day,
99
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:04,231
my brain must look like the Hulk.
100
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:07,667
If you really want
to challenge yourself,
101
00:04:07,669 --> 00:04:09,236
you could learn to speak Hindi.
102
00:04:09,238 --> 00:04:13,106
Jab mein aat saal ka
tha Maine seekha tha.
103
00:04:14,343 --> 00:04:15,876
Could you say that in English?
104
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:18,111
I actually, I never learned Hindi.
105
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,747
Hey, you ready to go?
106
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:24,338
Yeah, I guess.
107
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:26,107
What's the matter?
108
00:04:26,109 --> 00:04:28,075
Honestly? It's a little strange
109
00:04:28,077 --> 00:04:29,577
having dinner
with your ex-boyfriend,
110
00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:31,746
and it's not like
we have a lot to talk about.
111
00:04:31,748 --> 00:04:33,548
What? He loves you, okay?
112
00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:34,916
And he's interested in your work.
113
00:04:34,918 --> 00:04:38,352
You could talk about
the infinite perspective...
114
00:04:38,354 --> 00:04:40,855
I swear I know it.
115
00:04:40,857 --> 00:04:42,890
It'll be fine, let's just go.
116
00:04:42,892 --> 00:04:44,692
Well, and his fiancée will
be there, so you know,
117
00:04:44,694 --> 00:04:47,261
if the conversation lags, we
can talk about their wedding.
118
00:04:48,565 --> 00:04:50,164
Come on, I spent an entire plane ride
119
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:52,500
with you talking about
the trailer for Deadpool 2.
120
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,869
Ha! I knew you weren't asleep.
121
00:04:56,539 --> 00:04:57,672
Hey, guys.
122
00:04:57,674 --> 00:04:59,507
Hi.
Hi. Hey, where's your fiancée?
123
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,876
Oh, she couldn't make it.
She had an emergency.
124
00:05:01,878 --> 00:05:03,210
Oh, no, what happened?
125
00:05:03,212 --> 00:05:05,880
I didn't ask.
126
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:09,884
Hey.
127
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:11,252
- Hey.
- Hey.
128
00:05:11,254 --> 00:05:13,020
What smells so good?
129
00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:15,222
Raj is teaching me to make croissants.
130
00:05:15,224 --> 00:05:17,658
Is this part
of your super-aging?
131
00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:20,061
Yes. Yeah, it seemed
daunting at first,
132
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:21,195
but then I realized,
133
00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:23,864
it's like the chemistry set
I had as a kid.
134
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:24,865
Only, when your brother eats this,
135
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,901
no one has to call Poison Control.
136
00:05:26,903 --> 00:05:28,469
Okay.
137
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,404
Shall we?
138
00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,676
Oh, my God.
139
00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:40,047
It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery.
140
00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:43,284
You don't need to have sex with
him, just eat one of these.
141
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:46,387
Yes, it is delicious.
142
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,889
Wha... Physicist,
baker, lover,
143
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,091
what can't I do?
144
00:05:50,093 --> 00:05:53,361
Well, clearly mental
tasks are not enough.
145
00:05:53,363 --> 00:05:55,463
Maybe you need to challenge
your motor skills.
146
00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:58,499
For the last time, I am not
having a tickle fight with you.
147
00:05:59,936 --> 00:06:01,135
You want a real challenge,
148
00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:04,205
try keeping me from
eating more of these.
149
00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:06,641
You're just using food
150
00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:08,509
to mask the fear that
you're fundamentally unlovable
151
00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:11,679
and therefore going to be alone forever.
152
00:06:11,681 --> 00:06:14,615
Damn it, he's good at that, too.
153
00:06:17,887 --> 00:06:19,420
Thanks.
154
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,822
Wow, working on a top secret
government project,
155
00:06:21,824 --> 00:06:24,125
that is so cool.
Aw.
156
00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:26,927
Do you have a bodyguard
to keep spies away?
157
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:30,264
I have Sheldon,
that keeps most people away.
158
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:32,700
I miss that guy.
159
00:06:32,702 --> 00:06:34,702
He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet.
160
00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:37,438
I don't know what he's saying,
but he's funny.
161
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,409
Oh, I know what he's saying,
and he's not, he's not funny.
162
00:06:41,411 --> 00:06:43,511
So, Penny, what's going on with you?
163
00:06:43,513 --> 00:06:45,346
How's the job?
164
00:06:45,348 --> 00:06:47,381
Uh, it's okay, I'm still
in pharmaceutical sales.
165
00:06:47,383 --> 00:06:48,716
She's doing amazing.
166
00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:50,518
She can actually make a side effect,
167
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,653
like 10% chance of liver failure,
168
00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:56,691
sound like a 90% chance
of liver success.
169
00:06:56,693 --> 00:06:59,260
Yeah, lying isn't
my favorite part of the job.
170
00:06:59,262 --> 00:07:01,862
Actually, I'm not crazy
about a lot of it.
171
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:02,830
Hey, if you're not happy there,
I've been looking
172
00:07:02,832 --> 00:07:04,498
for a new head of sales at my company.
173
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,901
And we don't sell drugs, just menus,
174
00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:08,135
so the only lie you'll be telling
175
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,304
is we print on recycled paper.
176
00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:14,475
We don't.
177
00:07:15,411 --> 00:07:17,678
Oh, that's a nice offer.
178
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,946
You know, we'd make a great team.
179
00:07:18,948 --> 00:07:21,115
Or as we say in the menu business,
180
00:07:21,117 --> 00:07:24,285
I can't do this
without "Me N U."
181
00:07:25,188 --> 00:07:28,155
Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
182
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,324
Yeah, right? It's funny.
I got a lot of menu jokes,
183
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,226
but that's my favorite.
184
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:38,666
All right, this is everything.
185
00:07:38,668 --> 00:07:40,201
What do you want to learn?
186
00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:42,770
It really doesn't matter,
as long as it's challenging.
187
00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:46,774
Okay, well, how about, oh, I teach you
188
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:50,211
some close-up... magic.
189
00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:53,147
Howard, I'm trying
to make myself uncomfortable,
190
00:07:53,149 --> 00:07:54,849
not everyone else.
191
00:07:56,252 --> 00:07:58,285
So you wanted to learn
something physical
192
00:07:58,287 --> 00:08:00,588
and you came to Howard Wolowitz?
193
00:08:01,591 --> 00:08:03,657
Hey, the circus arts
194
00:08:03,659 --> 00:08:06,360
are very physically
and mentally demanding.
195
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,162
Have you ever tried to juggle?
196
00:08:08,164 --> 00:08:09,730
Yes, I'm juggling my love for you
197
00:08:09,732 --> 00:08:12,366
and my embarrassment of you right now.
198
00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:16,237
And it's hard, isn't it?
199
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,740
So the key is,
200
00:08:19,742 --> 00:08:22,343
the moment one ball
is at the top of its arc,
201
00:08:22,345 --> 00:08:24,178
you toss the next one.
202
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:26,213
Hmm?
Okay, I think I got that.
203
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,815
Uh, h-hold on.
204
00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:30,951
There's a, an old saying in juggling.
205
00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:32,920
Is it "I'm going to die alone"?
206
00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:39,660
No, it's "if you want
to have fun, start with one."
207
00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:42,163
Yours we think, but we do not say.
208
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,699
All right, just toss it up
and catch it a few times,
209
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:46,734
get comfortable with it.
210
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,102
Okay.
211
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:54,842
Just to be on the safe side,
212
00:08:54,844 --> 00:08:58,012
am I in any danger of
getting juggler's elbow?
213
00:08:58,014 --> 00:08:59,880
No.
214
00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:04,552
Are you sure? 'Cause
I'm feeling a twinge.
215
00:09:05,788 --> 00:09:07,354
See, that wasn't so bad.
216
00:09:07,356 --> 00:09:08,522
He even picked up the check.
217
00:09:08,524 --> 00:09:09,723
Yeah.
218
00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:11,325
Although, when he was trying
to figure out the tip,
219
00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:13,360
I'm pretty sure I saw smoke
coming out of his ears.
220
00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:18,432
You're not really considering
working for him, are you?
221
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,168
Well, maybe, I mean, it
seems kind of perfect.
222
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:22,837
I have sales experience,
223
00:09:22,839 --> 00:09:24,839
and I've been a waitress,
so I have restaurant experience,
224
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:27,274
and if he's figuring out
my Christmas bonus,
225
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,076
we could buy a boat.
226
00:09:29,078 --> 00:09:31,946
Don't you think it might
be a little weird
227
00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,981
to work for someone you used to date?
228
00:09:33,983 --> 00:09:37,852
You work with Sheldon, you tell me.
229
00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:41,388
Yeah, it's weird.
230
00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:47,928
Okay, are you seriously jealous
of me working with Zack?
231
00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:49,630
No, no, I-I'm not jealous,
I just think
232
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,899
you have got a good thing
going where you are right now,
233
00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:53,167
and you make great money
234
00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:54,969
and you haven't slept
with any of your coworkers.
235
00:09:54,971 --> 00:09:59,473
Great, so you want me to stay
at a job I'm not happy at?
236
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:01,075
Uh...
237
00:10:01,077 --> 00:10:02,409
You okay?
238
00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:05,813
You kind of look like Zack
trying to figure out that tip.
239
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:09,950
Of course I don't want
you to be unhappy,
240
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:11,585
but I also want you to be smart,
241
00:10:11,587 --> 00:10:14,355
and working for an ex-boyfriend
isn't very smart.
242
00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,679
You don't have to stop,
just slow down, I'll jump out.
243
00:10:24,596 --> 00:10:26,763
Amy, look, I'm on a unicycle!
244
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:32,402
How did you get
from croissants to a unicycle?
245
00:10:32,404 --> 00:10:34,604
I hurt myself juggling.
246
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,140
Where did you get it?
247
00:10:37,142 --> 00:10:38,408
Howard said I could borrow it,
248
00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:41,407
Bernadette said forever.
249
00:10:41,409 --> 00:10:43,809
Have you tried letting go of the rope?
250
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,945
What, are you crazy?
I'm on a unicycle.
251
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,248
All right, well, have fun.
252
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,050
Wait, I need help getting down.
253
00:10:51,052 --> 00:10:53,252
Well, what do you want me to do?
254
00:10:53,254 --> 00:10:54,553
Drag out our mattress
and put it over here,
255
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,055
then go across the hall,
get their mattress
256
00:10:56,057 --> 00:10:57,089
and put it over here.
257
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,657
But before you do any of that,
258
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,426
scratch my nose.
259
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,965
So you told her she was being dumb?
260
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:10,836
No, I told her she was being not smart.
261
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,473
Which was dumb.
262
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:17,142
Why did you even go
to dinner with the guy?
263
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,311
We covered this, I'm dumb.
264
00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:23,182
So he's my ex-boyfriend,
who cares?
265
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,150
I can't believe Leonard
would be so insecure.
266
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,385
Really?
267
00:11:26,387 --> 00:11:29,254
I have no trouble believing that at all.
268
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,956
And Zack's engaged.
269
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,958
Leonard has no reason
to feel threatened.
270
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,861
We're talking about
the same Leonard, right?
271
00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:39,965
So you think it's fine
if she works for Zack?
272
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,567
I don't know, maybe.
273
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:44,436
Well, he is much more
attractive than Leonard.
274
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:46,705
Yes,
275
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:50,342
but that's gonna be true of
a lot of guys she works for.
276
00:11:51,746 --> 00:11:54,279
Yeah, but she also
used to sleep with Zack.
277
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,615
Again...
278
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:01,253
I would never let Howard
work with an ex.
279
00:12:01,255 --> 00:12:02,321
What, you wouldn't trust him?
280
00:12:02,323 --> 00:12:03,956
I wouldn't trust her.
281
00:12:03,958 --> 00:12:07,793
He's thin and sexy
like a Jewish greyhound.
282
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:12,931
Yeah, that-that is
the sexiest dog.
283
00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,601
And I'd like to think
Howie wouldn't take a job
284
00:12:15,603 --> 00:12:16,869
I was uncomfortable with.
285
00:12:16,871 --> 00:12:18,270
'Cause he's scared of you?
Terrified.
286
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:19,471
Yeah.
287
00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:22,608
You know what? I'm with
Leonard, this isn't cool.
288
00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:24,009
Thank you.
289
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,144
I disagree.
290
00:12:25,146 --> 00:12:27,346
Penny is a strong, independent woman.
291
00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:29,715
The more you try to control her,
the more she'll push back.
292
00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:31,150
So you think it's okay?
293
00:12:31,152 --> 00:12:32,851
Oh, no, she's gonna leave you
for someone,
294
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,987
might as well get it over with.
295
00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:41,460
What are you doing?
296
00:12:41,462 --> 00:12:43,695
I'm returning this stuff to Howard.
297
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:45,063
Oh.
298
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,065
Well, Bernadette made me
promise if you didn't want it,
299
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,668
we'd give it to a homeless clown.
300
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,705
What happened to learning the unicycle?
301
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,441
Oh, I stopped that, it was dumb.
302
00:12:55,443 --> 00:13:01,046
Uni, bi, tri, menstrual,
all cycles are dumb.
303
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,015
You said juggling was dumb, too.
304
00:13:03,017 --> 00:13:04,616
Well, it is.
305
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,820
If I wanted to hold three things
at once, I'd wear cargo pants.
306
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:09,555
Sheldon, is it possible that
307
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:13,559
when things get really
difficult, you just give up?
308
00:13:13,561 --> 00:13:15,928
Are you calling me a quitter?
309
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,796
Well, if you honestly...
310
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,064
This conversation is over.
311
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,337
His mother warned me.
312
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,773
Everybody warned me.
313
00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:31,109
Actually, he warned me.
314
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,484
Hey.
Hi.
315
00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:39,585
You want to talk?
316
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:43,055
That doesn't seem to be where I shine.
317
00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:46,492
How about I just give you one of these?
318
00:13:47,695 --> 00:13:49,995
Look, we can have a
reasonable conversation
319
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,263
and I won't get mad.
320
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:57,369
I don't like it after sex,
and I don't like it now.
321
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,142
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah.
322
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,544
All right, just come here.
323
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,547
Look, I get me working
with Zack is weird
324
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:10,182
and I don't want you
to be uncomfortable.
325
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,750
Well, thanks.
326
00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:14,253
And I don't want you to be
stuck at a job you don't like.
327
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:15,654
Then what do we do?
328
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:17,189
Well, I don't love it,
but if you really want
329
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,324
to take this job, I'll find
a way to deal with it.
330
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,827
No, I know you'll try,
but it'll make you miserable,
331
00:14:21,829 --> 00:14:23,695
which will make me miserable, and...
332
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,697
I'm just gonna stay
where I'm at for now.
333
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,132
No, no, no, no,
you're-you're unhappy there
334
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,268
and then you're gonna blame
me for making you stay,
335
00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:31,436
and it's fine, I'll
just... I'll suck it up.
336
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,238
You don't need to do that, it's okay.
337
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,240
Yeah, see, now I feel terrible,
338
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,110
like I'm being selfish
and holding you back.
339
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,949
What? Say something.
340
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:49,721
Yeah, that is pretty annoying.
341
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:55,027
I made you tea.
342
00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:56,628
Thank you.
343
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,463
I'm sorry I called you a quitter.
344
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,800
It's okay, I stopped being
upset about that.
345
00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:04,670
And no, the irony is not lost on me.
346
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,039
What are you reading?
347
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,107
This article says the
peak age for making
348
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,343
a Nobel Prize-winning
discovery is 40.
349
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,344
So?
350
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,713
So I'm running out of time.
351
00:15:14,715 --> 00:15:17,649
That's ridiculous,
you're a brilliant man.
352
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:20,185
The best years of your life
are still ahead of you.
353
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,655
Oh, you have to say that,
you're sweet on me.
354
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,324
Well, if you're really
worried about your career,
355
00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:27,759
maybe you should consider
spending a little less time
356
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,695
with video games and comic books.
357
00:15:29,697 --> 00:15:31,096
Hey!
358
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,565
I thought you were sweet on me.
359
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:36,902
Okay, fine, let's say you
never win a Nobel Prize.
360
00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:39,805
Let's say you spend your life
doing solid scientific research
361
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,239
surrounded by friends and loved ones
362
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,041
who appreciate you,
363
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,845
not for what you've accomplished
but for who you are as a man.
364
00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:49,214
Wouldn't that be
a life well-lived?
365
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,583
You're so cute.
366
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,953
I'm gonna go learn
how to walk on stilts.
367
00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,725
So many warnings.
368
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:04,963
Okay, are you sure about this?
369
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,999
Absolutely. I just
want you to be happy.
370
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:10,235
And maybe a little turned on
about how selfless I'm being.
371
00:16:12,873 --> 00:16:14,506
Penny, what's up?
372
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:17,376
Hey, uh, so I've been thinking about it
373
00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:19,077
and I want to take the job.
374
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,113
Oh, bad news.
375
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:23,382
When my fiancée found out
that I was offering a job
376
00:16:23,384 --> 00:16:25,984
to my ex-girlfriend,
she said it was a stupid idea
377
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,320
and threw a shoe at me.
378
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,723
Oh, so there's no job?
379
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:35,594
Nope, just a little bump on my forehead.
380
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:37,162
Okay, thanks anyway.
381
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,530
By
382
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,166
Well, his fiancée thought
383
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,669
the idea of us working
together was stupid.
384
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,637
You were right, I was wrong.
385
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:52,377
Aren't you gonna say anything?
386
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,513
Not if I want to be doing this later.
387
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,054
Hey, I didn't know you were home.
388
00:17:02,056 --> 00:17:03,155
Where you been?
389
00:17:03,157 --> 00:17:05,424
I went to see your mom.
390
00:17:05,426 --> 00:17:06,892
Seriously, where were you?
391
00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:09,294
I just told you, your mom's.
392
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:10,796
Why?
393
00:17:10,798 --> 00:17:14,232
Well, since you find my magic
tricks so embarrassing,
394
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,734
I got to wondering
395
00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:18,970
what cool hobbies you had as a kid.
396
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:20,872
Oh.
397
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,542
What'd she say?
398
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,444
She didn't say much of anything.
399
00:17:25,446 --> 00:17:27,312
But she said a lot!
400
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,051
Hi, Bernadette, remember me?
401
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,456
First of all, that's not
what she sounds like,
402
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,991
she's from South Carolina.
403
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,561
I can't believe you made fun of me
404
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:46,898
all these years while you
were a closeted ventriloquist.
405
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:50,802
Okay, it's not like I wanted
to be a ventriloquist.
406
00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:53,238
I was in beauty pageants
and I needed a talent
407
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,272
besides spreading rumors
408
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,808
that the other contestants
were pregnant.
409
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:59,377
Well, since you enjoyed
410
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,046
getting rid of all my stuff, you know,
411
00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:03,415
maybe we should throw this
little lady in the wood chipper.
412
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:04,716
No!
413
00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:06,752
And the little lady has a name.
414
00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:08,620
Which is?
415
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,558
Tammy Jo St. Cloud.
416
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,095
"Tammy Jo St. Cloud."
417
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,964
Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling.
418
00:18:18,966 --> 00:18:21,500
Sorry, you're not a dork.
419
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:24,269
You're a clown.
420
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,905
Tammy Jo, don't say that,
421
00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:28,140
you'll make him feel bad.
422
00:18:28,876 --> 00:18:30,075
Look at him,
423
00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:32,944
what reason he got to feel good?
424
00:18:33,781 --> 00:18:36,214
All right, very funny.
425
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,282
Don't listen to her,
426
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,550
she's been in a box for, like, 25 years.
427
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,952
Yeah, back when his haircut
428
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,789
was fashionable.
429
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,458
That's enough, put her away.
430
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,059
Oh, big daddy,
431
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,361
I don't think so.
432
00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:52,164
You marry Miss Bernie, you marry me.
433
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,635
We all family now.
434
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,171
All right, you're freaking me out.
435
00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:00,705
Don't be that way.
436
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,140
If you don't mind a few splinters,
437
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,309
we can have us a ménage à trois.
438
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,510
Ooh!
439
00:19:11,961 --> 00:19:14,161
I'm doing it.
440
00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:16,096
I'm doing it.
441
00:19:16,098 --> 00:19:20,534
I'm tall and I'm doing it!
442
00:19:23,186 --> 00:19:24,786
Ah, man.
443
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:33,255
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man