_
Jazz: Last season on "I Am Jazz"...
You're a gorgeous girl, and I want you to experience love.
I'd love to be the first guy that you experience it with.
Uh...
Griffen: We just finished all of our applications to college.
Now it's just sit and wait, right?
We're ready to move on with our life.
Jeanette: When the boys leave the house,
it's gonna be like a ghost town here.
- How are you gonna get through? - I don't know.
Just medicate me and put me out.
Jeanette: You could use some more friends.
Jazz: I know that my mom is super concerned about me,
'cause I have no friends at school.
I went through a really hard time,
and I'm still getting out of it.
I was in a very dark place.
She'll say, "I'm not feeling right today,"
and I'm like, "oh, Geez."
Jeanette: Jazz has had a bumpy road.
And between the drugs that are given to her
and their side effects and the depression that she battles,
she's predictably unpredictable.
Griffen: Whoa. This is a big hospital.
Jazz has to replace the testosterone blocker in her arm
to prevent male puberty.
Greg: I'd rather not see my kid like this.
I'll be happy when I see her awake and smiling.
What happened?
You had your surgery, baby.
I have a boner.
- [Gasps] - [Laughs]
I sometimes forget that she has that down there.
_
Does she look like a freak to you?
She still has a penis.
Jack: Let's call a spade a spade.
No matter how attractive she is,
no matter how great a personality she is,
she will be looked at
as the girl who has the thingy down there.
Greg: Jazz is walking a path less traveled.
Jeanette: And she's going to be 16 this year.
It's a big milestone in her life.
And there's a lot of decisions coming up for her.
So, then, what's the next step after?
Basically, the next step is bottom surgery.
Jazz: When this hormone-blocker implant needs to be replaced,
I'll be 17 years old,
and I can finally have bottom surgery.
I'm trying to find a way to tell my parents
that we really have to start considering this.
And this season on "I Am Jazz"...
Jeanette: Happy birthday!
- Whoo! - Catch it.
- Oh, my god! - Jesus!
Do you think you'd be interested in dating trans people, maybe?
For sure, yeah.
[Grunts]
- Where'd she go? - She left.
- Do you need help? - No. Just go and skate.
Jazz: When I'm upset and want to be alone,
I really just want to be alone.
I just really hate myself.
Jeanette: I hate to see you cry like this.
Well, I just feel bad about myself.
How can I get you to go to therapy?
You think some random individual who doesn't even know who I am
will have the answers to my questions?
Jazz doesn't feel she needs help...
- You're frustrating me. - ...But she does.
You are about to turn 16,
so I think it's feasible that you could have bottom surgery.
I definitely want to do it.
My brain puts on the brakes, like, "whoa!"
I've always dreamed about having this procedure done.
It should be done after you finish high school.
It is ultimately my decision.
So, we're just now getting children
who have been on puberty-delaying hormones.
The penis never has a chance to grow.
Dr. Reed: I hate to say this to you, but it's gonna be difficult
to do the type of vaginoplasty that you want.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com
Jeanette: [Singsong] Good morning.
Come on. Uppy, puppy.
I know you're dying to go to school.
[Chuckles]
Good morning.
[Chuckles]
Jazz: Today is the first day of school.
And when it comes to my sophomore year of high school,
I'm not completely dreading it.
I'm excited to see what this year is gonna offer.
Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood,
'cause I wasn't sure what I was gonna get.
"No! Leave!"
No, really, that's the person I'm used to,
so I'm happy that you're excited.
Oh, thanks.
Last year, I had a difficult time,
and I struggled with depression.
And I know that my mom is very concerned
that I might spiral into a very dark place again
and become depressed.
But, you know, I'm not too worried about it,
because I'm gonna just try to stay positive.
I can't believe it's the first day of school.
She's in a good mood,
but I'm just always walking on eggshells.
I know. You always got to be on guard.
But socially, I know she was texting friends in advance.
I think that's good, too, so you don't go and...
She was texting Tayack,
the only person she's really friendly with right now.
Hey. Morning, sunshine.
Why are you awake?
- You don't even need to be awake. - 'Cause it's your first day.
I always like to see you on your first day.
Keep in mind, not everything's gonna go perfectly, you know?
- I know. - Just go with the flow.
If something goes wrong, don't get upset.
Just deal with it.
Jeanette: I have a lot of worries.
Jazz really doesn't have a lot of friends.
She broke off from her group of girlfriends from freshman year.
I don't hear everything anymore,
and I don't know what it is, but... I don't know.
No, but sometimes we tell you,
and then you're like, "oh, yeah."
"Yeah. Yeah."
No, no, I do... I do listen. I remember.
But, like...
No, you do the thing where you don't listen.
It was unpleasant for her, not having the group anymore,
but Tayack also broke off from the group,
so they're still friends, which is really nice.
But I'm worried about her, in a social way.
School year... oh, my god.
Nervous? I'm nervous.
- No, I'm not nervous. - I always get nervous.
Jeanette: She's really in the heart of the teenage years,
and, you know, this is the time where there's a lot of angst.
Jazz sinking back into depression
is always something that's on the front of my mind.
I know that it could happen very quickly, very easily.
I'm staying positive that it's not gonna happen,
but I have to be realistic that it's a possibility.
We're in the property. All right.
- What's this guy gonna... - We're at the point.
All right, go.
Bye. Love you.
- Love you so much. - I love you.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
You're the best. See you later.
Jeanette: I'm like, "wow, my baby's a sophomore.
Look at her go. Look how tall she is.
Like, where did the time go?"
[Sighs]
♪♪
Griffen: So, this is all my stuff.
Do you think Mom will get mad if I don't fold it?
I don't know, but Nemo seems to be pretty pissed
- if you don't fold it. - How depressing...
we're not gonna see Nemo for like three months.
We're not gonna see Mom for three months.
We're not gonna see Dad for three months.
Sander: It's a little bittersweet,
knowing that we're leaving soon for college.
My mom is an emotional wreck.
I don't know what she's gonna do without us.
She's gonna miss us a lot, and we're gonna miss her, too.
We'll be fine. We'll see each other probably every single day, I'm sure.
Or at least, most days.
It's more of Mom, Dad, Jazz.
That's true.
It's gonna be different.
You know, cradle to college has been very quick.
- Yeah. - But you know what?
There was not enough cradle.
Jeanette: And I want them to go to college.
I mean, I want them to, I'm just gonna miss them.
That's all.
The twins are gonna be out of the house,
and how Jeanette deals with it is, you know...
[Chuckles]
[Crying] So much of my life is them.
[Sniffling, sobbing]
Do you have a tissue? [Chuckles]
You remember the day when the ultrasound tech said
- there were two of them? - Mm.
It seems like they were just born,
we just got them out of the hospital.
Now I'm cutting onions, and I'm crying.
- What the heck am I thinking? - That's okay.
Geez. Let's just make it 10 times worse.
What are you really feeling?
Awful. Terrible.
Awful, depressed?
Yeah.
Jack: It's understandable how Jeanette felt.
Every time we'd talk about it, her eyes became Niagara Falls.
But this is a new beginning rather than an end.
Kids grow up, and you can't go on
being the mother of teenagers indefinitely.
And I think that's why menopause was brought in to the scene.
♪♪
[Laughing] Did I say the wrong thing?
I'm putting my head in the freezer.
I'm not coming out. [Chuckles]
♪♪
Jazz: I think I like my classes a lot, and my teachers.
- More than last year? - Mm-hmm.
Jazz: But I do have so much homework.
The first day of school was different than it was last year,
because I didn't have many friends
on this first day of school.
Ooh, it smells so good.
- Hello. - Yeah, it does.
I'm gonna get a chocolate milkshake
with no whipped cream, no cherry.
Jazz: I have a couple of friends that don't go to my high school,
but at my school, Tayack is basically my only real friend.
I think it's so funny how we have, like, no friends.
It's just you and me at lunch.
- I know. - But I like it, actually.
- We have fun together. - It's, like, no drama, you know?
That's true. I didn't like it with all that drama.
I know. It was annoying.
Tayack: The drama that Jazz doesn't miss
is with our other friends that we had,
and how they would exclude us from things.
They used to hang out together and go to different places,
but they wouldn't invite Jazz and I.
- Girls can be mean sometimes. - Vicious.
And guys can be stupid sometimes.
I just... don't you kind of feel like boys are still the same?
Yeah, they haven't matured since last year.
Still annoying.
I know. I need a man.
Yeah. I always tell my mom that.
She's always telling me, "get a boyfriend. It'll be good for you."
I'm like, "Mommy, have you seen the boys in my grade?
They are annoying."
- I know. There's no options. - I know.
She was like, "go for boys in older grades then."
I'm like, "I can't talk to boys in older grades."
I know, but there's a lot of boys outside of school, too.
Yeah. That, too.
Have you talked to Alex recently?
Um... No.
I actually haven't talked to him at all.
Is that bad?
Well, you guys went on a date together.
Yeah, but, like, he texted me sometimes,
like, just, "hey, how you doing?"
Like, really, small talk, but we don't hang out or anything.
I kind of want to fall in love, though, this year.
That's a bold statement, right?
Jazz: Even though I'm not interested in Alex,
I really do want a partner.
I want to fall in love with someone.
But it's not very easy for me.
In the past, a lot of teenage boys
didn't want to talk to me because I was transgender.
Hopefully, this year, that'll change,
and I will meet some new guys, or potentially even girls,
depending on the situation.
[Inhales deeply]
Ugh, I'm so full, my belly hurts so much.
- Me, too. - It's pouring over my shorts.
- Chocolate. - I'm gonna drink that.
Are you really? [Laughs]
♪♪
Jeanette: We're almost at the doctor's office.
Are you all excited to find out what your levels are?
I always get excited to see where you're at.
_
I would think so, especially based on your breast growth.
My boobies finally have shaped out.
Yeah. You no longer need any help in that department.
We're visiting Dr. Charlton today for Jazz's checkup.
- Hello. How are you? - Hello. Welcome.
Jeanette: She goes every few months to check her hormone levels,
make sure that the estrogen is high
and the testosterone is low.
So hoping it'll be that way.
- What's this? - It's a cup holder.
- [Laughing] - No, it's not a cup holder.
[Knock on door]
Hey. Hi, guys.
You always do that little knock-knock.
- How are you? Good to see you. - Good to see you.
- Hey, Jazz. - Good to see you. I got comfy.
Are you cold? Okay.
I'm Dr. Charlton. I'm a pediatric endocrinologist.
I was taking care of Jazz
when she first started medical treatment
for transgender therapy.
I am not currently her doctor,
but I still check in on a regular basis.
So, your labs look great.
Your testosterone level is really, really low.
Your estrogen level is actually more or less adult levels.
- Really? - But that's... yeah.
Jeanette: To hear that Jazz is developing just like her peers,
it just makes me so happy.
I'm so happy for her, and it kind of confirms...
it really confirms that Greg and I have been making
the right decisions with respect to her medical care,
and we are on the right path.
We had talked about top surgery previously,
but how are you feeling about your breast development?
I don't want top surgery anymore.
I'm pretty happy with my body.
This is the first time I've heard you say
that you're happy with your body.
- Mm-hmm. Really? - That's... yeah.
I mean, you've been happy with certain changes,
- but there were always concerns. - Mm-hmm.
This is the happiest I've seen you.
You seem more comfortable in your own skin now...
Yeah. I am.
...than you have since I've known you,
and that's really, really great.
Dr. Charlton: I'm thrilled with how Jazz is doing.
The whole goal of this therapy, from the beginning,
was to allow her to be a normal kid
and develop alongside her peers, and it's been successful.
The next step... and you are about to turn 16.
So I think it's time to at least begin the conversation
about bottom surgery.
All along, I've been saying
I don't want you to have any surgery
until your body's done growing and developing.
- Mm-hmm. - Right?
I think you're done getting taller,
so I think it's feasible that you could have surgery.
What are your thoughts currently?
I want to do it.
Whoa.
I remember when you were saying
you weren't sure you would ever do it.
If you have uncertainty...
It's definitely not the right time to do it, right?
Right. Yeah. No, I don't have any uncertainty.
- Okay. - I want to do it, 100%.
Oh, you do want to do it 100%?
Okay, yes. I want to do it 100%.
Jeanette: I definitely am shocked.
She's never said "100%."
She's always said, "I think I will. I probably will."
But it's never like, "oh, I am doing this."
My brain suddenly puts on the brakes, like, "whoa."
Just... I'm not ready to go there yet.
I personally feel like you're young to have the surgery.
Jazz: What are you worried about?
Kids are doing it at like 16.
I think that's great, except that they're not my kids.
I think it's time to at least begin the conversation
about bottom surgery.
I want to do it 100%.
Oh, you do want to do it 100%?
Okay, yes. I want to do it 100%.
How do you feel about that?
I can't believe we're there yet.
I don't know when she started feeling this way,
because she didn't verbalize it to me.
But we've been through so much,
and we're at a good place right now.
And now, all of a sudden, whoa.
You know, knock-knock, here's the next door,
and this is enormous.
It's major surgery.
- It is. It's major surgery. - It's huge.
For me, I worry more than she does.
But it's the parent thing. I'm supposed to worry.
But I'll always support you.
Knowing that I could potentially have a vagina...
yes, a vagina...
is super exciting to me, because I've always dreamed
about having this procedure done.
And now it could finally happen.
It used to be that nobody would do surgery
until you were over 18.
The thinking is really changing in the medical community.
A lot of the advocates for younger surgery are saying,
"if you do it when you're young,
then you still have Mom around to help with aftercare,"
which I'm here to tell you, the aftercare is intense.
The intensity of the aftercare
should really be a big part of the decision-making
when you talk about when to do this.
Because you can't just come home for summer break,
have bottom surgery, and expect to go back
and start classes up again in the fall.
So that's part of the reason why
early planning is really helpful.
I know that I want to do it before I go off to college.
I don't want to be in a dorm and having to dilate.
Okay, so that's exactly where I'm going.
Jazz: I've done some previous research,
and I know that dilating is the process of inserting an object
of varying size up your vagina in order to create depth.
Of course, there's gonna be
a lot of family conversations, too.
Because a lot of times, one parent feels one way
and one parent feels another way, so...
- Daddy. - Yeah.
My dad is very reluctant
when it comes to some of these very important decisions.
So I'm a little bit scared to see how he's going to react.
I really haven't done my homework on this yet,
'cause I know it's changing all the time.
And she was so little and young,
and now it just sort of happened.
Like, we're here all of a sudden.
I've known about bottom surgery for years.
I've been going to conferences since Jazz was 5.
But the medical field is changing constantly,
and what they were doing 10 years ago
is different than what they're doing now.
So now the time is here, now I do my homework.
Just like you'll go touring colleges,
you'll probably want to go on a tour of surgeons.
And when you go to the surgeons,
I want you to get into the gory details.
Jazz: Mm-hmm.
So you've got some work to do.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Bye. - You take care.
- Good to see you. - Thank you.
- All right, Jazz. - It's always great to see you.
- All right. Bye. - All right. See you.
I'm gonna have a vagina. Whoo-whoo-whoo.
You can have mine, so you don't have to go...
- [laughs] - I guess that was stupid.
I don't want that old, saggy thing.
♪♪
[Sighs]
I hear you guys coming in. You want to help?
Jeanette: That's the boys' chore.
Yeah, but they're heading off.
Here. When I put it here, can you put them up in there?
Yes, I can.
How was the doctor appointment?
Not exactly what we thought it was gonna be.
My estrogen levels went up a lot...
- Is that typical? - ...Which is really good.
They're finally, like, at a normal, adult level.
He was like, "the next step, really,
is to explore the bottom surgery."
So, basically, since she's turning 16,
this is the age that a lot of kids her age
start to get the ball rolling.
And she got very excited.
I'm 100% confident I want this procedure.
Here's my take on what you're saying.
I personally feel like you're young to have the surgery.
My initial inclination
was that it should be done after you finish high school,
which is when you're 18.
But then she'll be in college.
What are you worried about?
Kids are doing it at like 16.
When you're over 18, you could do what you want... Legally.
Greg: Ultimately, this is an irreversible procedure.
If other trans youth are having the surgery done at age 16,
I think that's great, except that they're not my kids.
Historically, it's been something that we theorize
or we talked about what if, how?
But now we're actually talking about planning an actual date,
and that, to me, is, um...
To me, it's scary.
But you know what? I do want to take care of her.
I would always make sure...
I don't want her to be in college.
...no matter what that she's being taken care of, though.
Jeanette: I don't agree with Greg.
I think the best and ideal thing for her to do
is have the surgery while she's still in high school.
And it's not like you want them to have the surgery
and then go to college, because that's bad.
Anything goes wrong, you know, who's there? Her roommate?
I don't want to be dilating in the dorm.
Do you know what dilating is?
It's basically where you have to stick this tubular object
up your vagina to create depth.
I don't want to do that in a dorm
with people that I don't know.
I'd prefer to do it in a place where I'm comfortable.
So that's one reason why it makes sense to do it earlier.
Overall, the reason why I want to get the surgery
is because this is basically the last major step
in completing my medical journey.
It's something that would make me feel whole.
Jazz: There are still so many things that I can't do.
I mean, I can't even wear leggings,
and if I could wear leggings, I'd wear them every day.
And it's those tiny things that really make a big difference
and really motivates me to get this procedure done.
If we wanted to do it in my time range,
we have that full period to, like, do extensive research.
I feel like I need more information
to be comfortable with Jazz having bottom surgery.
I do not want her to rush this.
I want to make sure that we do our due diligence,
and I just want to do right by her.
I want to please you, but it is ultimately my decision.
Jeanette: Destination... university of Florida.
I'm trying really, really, really hard
to hold it all together,
but I'm barely hanging on to my emotions.
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Jeanette: Wheels up in 10!
You got your blankets? You got your pillows?
- You got all that stuff? - Yeah.
You got your underwear, right?
I need to buy new underwear and new socks.
I'm gonna miss you weirdos.
Wave to the house.
- Deuces. - Bye.
Jeanette: Destination... university of Florida,
4 hours and 14 minutes away.
Griffen: I couldn't be more excited,
I'm more than ready to start this new chapter in my life.
College means freedom,
and it gives me the ability to do whatever I want with my life,
which is scary, but also sounds very awesome to me.
Sander: We're here!
Greg: So this is your home away from home.
Mom, are you gonna cry?
Could we not talk about that?
I'm trying really, really hard to hold it all together,
but I'm barely hanging on to my emotions.
We got a lot of stuff.
Ground floor, going up.
How you doing?
- Nice to meet you. - I'm Greg.
Jeanette: This is an unbelievable time in our lives.
I've got the twins going off.
I've got Jazz contemplating surgery, and it's a lot.
I feel really overwhelmed, because I don't like change.
I want everybody to stay little.
I always say I'd like to pause at this point in our lives
and just stop.
And you know what? I can't.
Life still keeps going on. I'm like, "no."
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Greg: Hey there.
My baby girl. Number-one-born girl.
Hear that? I'm number one?
I am so happy that the twins and Ari are all at the same school
because Ari's been up there for two years,
and she can show them the ropes.
They can be close and hang out and do things.
They're a family.
I don't think this class is gonna be that hard.
You'll just have to read a lot.
I think they have every single book that we need.
That's a lot.
Are you gonna actually read all of these?
I don't think I have a choice.
We're not empty nesters, but it's getting close.
It's horrible.
Horrid.
It's not gonna be horrid. For me, it is.
I'm sorry, but you're the guy that can handle it.
It's just empty.
It's amazing how it brings you to tears
every single time you think about the empty house.
When they're not home, do you cry all the time?
Yeah.
If I'm at work, are you crying all the time?
Aww.
That's... that's tough.
I didn't realize that.
I know when we talk about it, you get emotional, but...
So how do you kind of snap out of it?
What do you do?
Sleep.
- You sleep? - Yep.
We're gonna have to figure something out, then.
Yeah.
Hearing Jeanette cries at home when I'm at work is difficult,
because I just want to take the pain
and just, you know, absorb it and have her not feel that way.
Let's go find a book about sex. [Laughs]
[Laughs] I'm in.
[Both laugh]
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Griffen: Home, sweet home.
No, this is not your home.
This is my temporary home for the next four years.
Jeanette: This is it.
This is the moment I have not been looking forward to
and that they have been looking forward to.
I think we should start saying goodbye.
Okay. We've got to get on the road.
We'll do it like when you were little
and put our heads together.
We used to do this before games.
Work hard, play hard, do your best.
I'm proud of you guys. I love you guys.
You'll do great.
Greg: It's emotional to say goodbye to the kids.
You know, we've worked so hard
to make them strong, independent young adults.
And they're ready. They're prepared.
So it's really just time to kiss them goodbye,
hop on the road, and just let them be.
Don't forget me! [Chuckles]
Oh, Mom.
Mom? Ticklish spot. Let's get her to laugh.
No. Don't. Really, don't.
[Laughter]
I don't know any family that's as close as my family.
I could look every one of my family members in the eye
and say, "I love you,
and I don't know what I'd do without you."
Love you. [Sobs]
Jazz: We've got to say our goodbyes, too.
- Bye, Griff. - Hey, good luck in high school.
- Okay. - And good luck in college.
If you need help, just let me know.
I won't need any help. You know me.
I'm not really too sad about the boys going off to college,
which is kind of weird, because I do love them.
It's just that I'm happy for them.
They're gonna have a good life and do their own thing,
party, drink, sleep with the girls, and have a good life.
We're there for you if you ever need anything.
We're just a phone call away, okay?
Jeanette: I think I'm grieving more
over the loss of not having children.
It's like, they're gone, they're men,
and I just didn't think it would happen so quickly.
Like, when they're little babies,
I wasn't thinking about college.
When they were in fifth grade, I wasn't thinking about college.
You know they're gonna leave eventually,
but now that it's here, it's awful.
I'm just trying to grasp the concept of the fact
that that's it... we're here.
It happened, and it's over.
I'll cuddle with you every night.
[Sighs]
They're ready.
It's time to let them go.
[Mid-tempo music plays]
A little embarrassing question. Are you orgasmic?
Jazz: I looked at my parents, and I just think, "no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
[Up-tempo music plays]
[Doorbell rings]
- There's my doorbell. - Hi.
I like the doorbell. "Ding-dong."
Jeanette: With so many huge things
that are going on in our lives right now,
I'm so grateful that I have my mom and dad down here.
They're very smart. They're very wise.
And any feedback that can help me is greatly appreciated.
Gee, this is rare.
Yes. In fact, this is a first.
You're prepping me for when I only have one kid.
I'll get to do this more.
I can't get used to the idea of just Jazz at home.
And how is all that going?
I don't even want to think about that.
I don't want to think about any of this.
I don't want to think about the boys.
Everywhere I turn, there's pictures of them.
I'm stuck with the memories.
Yeah. True.
They're gonna come home on vacation
and call you up on the phone with their problems.
I hope they remember to call me.
I have no doubts that they will.
So, you haven't heard the latest about little Jazz,
who's always full of surprises.
I took her to her regular checkup with the endocrinologist
to see where things were at,
and her estrogen's high, and her testosterone's low.
Then he brought up bottom surgery.
And she was like, "100% I'm doing it."
Wow.
I was like, "what?"
She has already opted to go forward?
She hasn't said when exactly.
What's the youngest that this surgery can be done?
I've heard of 16-year-olds.
Well, as your parents, we're ready,
but surprised that it's come so soon.
Jack: Bottom surgery...
I thought it would be about the time
that she went off to college.
But she's not complete until the surgery is complete,
and the sooner, the better.
I think Jazz is ready now
as long as her doctors agree with that.
Well, it's up to her,
and she's got to speak to doctors for consults.
The thing is, I wasn't ready to start doing consults now.
So we had to do some research
and ask exactly what we're getting into.
I have a list of doctors who perform vaginoplasty in the U.S.
You should research each of the doctors
and make consults with all the ones you're serious about.
Jeanette: We have Jazz's first bottom surgery consultation
this week.
And you know what? I'm not ready.
But I really don't have a choice, 'cause Jazz is there.
I'm looking at it as a real start to the final Jazz.
This will free her.
Yeah, I think in her heart, to feel complete.
Yes. Mm-hmm.
And I think also when it comes to love.
That's a big problem, unfortunately.
There's people out there that are attracted to Jazz
and might think she's lovely, but you know what?
"I don't want to be physical with her."
Jack: If I were dating a transgender person,
I would not feel quite right
if that transgender woman had a penis.
Let's face it.
To be a complete woman as much as one can be being transgender,
the bottom surgery is absolutely necessary
if you want to have a somewhat normal relationship
with the opposite sex.
Certain elements of our society have that redneck component.
She will always be somebody that was born with a penis,
- not a true... - To some people.
Yes.
Not a true woman in that sense,
and I've always been concerned about that.
There are some people that will never look at her
as, you know, a complete woman, which is really sad.
Once Jazz has had the bottom surgery,
I don't think there's any way to predict
how society will react to her.
But there is a big part of the population out there
which they are unable to accept the fact
that a transgender person is really, truly,
in Jazz's case, a female.
You go out in public, you're facing that world
that's cruel and mean and so forth.
I think there's a big chance
that she'll be labeled probably the rest of her time.
[Mid-tempo music plays]
[Knock on door]
[All screaming]
[Laughter]
Hey! Good to see you. Good to see you.
- Yay! - How are you?
We sound like we were in a horror movie.
- [Screams] - [Screams]
Skylar is one of my good friends who was transgender.
She's the same age as me, and she lives in Atlanta,
but she and her mom are in town to look at colleges.
I think Skylar and I are gonna head out right away.
Sorry to ditch you, but peace out!
That's okay. I get Kris to myself.
Have a good time!
We're gonna go have a party. You guys have fun.
- Bye! - [Door closes]
[Laughs]
Isn't this, like, winter weather for you guys?
It does get a little bit colder, but not by much.
Jazz: I'm really glad I could spend this time with Skylar.
She just can really comprehend what it's like to be transgender
and some of the things I'm experiencing.
So, how's your college search going?
I think I might be going in-state
for my freshman year of college
and then probably transfer after that.
Aren't you gonna have your bottom surgery by next year?
Yeah. Actually, this June.
- This June? - Oh, my god. That's so soon!
- Are you excited? - I'm so excited.
That's amazing. Oh, I'm jealous.
So, are your parents totally supportive of your choice?
I think it's always been a lingering thought
since I came out.
I think they've been mentally preparing themselves,
and I think that they have been ready
for me to tell them when I was ready.
That makes a lot of sense.
She's kind of made up her mind. This is what she wanted.
And we did the research
and made sure we were all doing the right thing.
They said, "we want to have you in before your senior year
so that you have time to recover before your senior year."
That's my point. Like, that's how I feel.
I would rather she do it and just keep on with her life.
Whatever her plan is... she wants to go college
and do all these things and explore and go travel.
I want her to do those things without that being...
- without having to worry about... - Yeah.
Greg is like, "it's okay to wait to 18."
I'm good with that.
But I feel so strongly after talking to you
and your thoughts on it,
I really feel that it's a no-brainer.
Do you think you're ready?
Yeah.
I mean, my dad, I know he wants to wait until I'm older.
Like for him, you're his little girl,
and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.
But if I was his little girl, then I would have a vagina.
[Both laugh]
Skylar: Bottom surgery is a major surgery.
And it becomes a really sensitive topic
around the kids and their families
because there's a ton of recovery,
and it's painful in general.
I know that I definitely want to get the procedure.
I just don't know where.
I'm gonna try to go to as many surgeons as possible
to figure out who I really want to go to.
And then I'll have a vagina.
Yay!
Vagina, vagina.
Jazz: I have my first consultation scheduled
with a local surgeon who performs the bottom surgery,
and I am just so excited to get this process started.
I feel like meeting the doctors makes it that much more real.
You also have a boyfriend, right?
Mm-hmm.
Is that one of the reasons
you want to get the surgery so soon or no?
No. Definitely not.
I think that's a big misconception.
People are like, "oh, all transgender people
want to get the surgery for sexual reasons."
But it's not like that for me.
I just want to feel complete.
Yeah.
Is this, like, your first relationship ever?
- Uh-huh. Yeah. - Aw. That's exciting.
I've still never been in a relationship.
But more and more each day, I consider myself pansexual.
I used to be like 70% guys, 30% girls.
I think I'm more towards like 50/50 now.
Jazz: I'm definitely fluid about who I'm attracted to.
And I'm not afraid of that. You know, I'm proud.
I think it's cool that I can be attracted to anyone
regardless of their sexual orientation,
gender identity, or any other label.
Do you think that you'd be interested
in dating trans people, maybe?
For sure, yeah.
Well, I know this guy, Shane.
He told me that he would be interested in meeting you
if that's something you're into.
That'd be cool. Wait.
I wouldn't have to hang out with him alone, though.
- You'd be there, right? - Yeah, definitely.
Okay. Then I'd do that.
If it was one on one, I'd be like, "ugh!"
That'd be awkward. That's really awkward.
Since you guys are like strangers.
If we'd hang out as a group and go somewhere,
- that would be fun. - Yeah. Definitely.
Jazz: When it comes to meeting new people,
it's not necessarily awkward.
I just don't really like a situation where it feels forced
and really set up.
I just want to meet Shane and just see what happens.
We should make it happen.
Yeah.
Dr. Reed: I hate to say this to you, but it's gonna be difficult
to do the type of vaginoplasty that you want.
_
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Jeanette: Hi. How are you?
- Woman: I'm good. - This is Jazz. I'm Jeanette.
Jeanette.
- Hi. Jazz. - Welcome.
Dr. Reed is a local surgeon who performs the bottom surgery,
and I am seeing him as my first consultation
to learn more about the procedure.
- Nice to meet you. - Likewise.
Jazz: I'm just so excited to begin this journey
that will make me complete
and allow me to feel like the woman that I always knew I was.
Are you allergic to any medicine?
No.
Have you had any surgery done?
Well, you had the implant. Minor. She has...
I did have a minor surgery, but... I don't know.
What was that?
The implant, the blocker... hormone blocker.
Now, I'm not familiar with this hormone blocker
you're talking about.
Could you give me a little information, the name of it?
It's called Supprelin, and it's a histrelin pump.
It blocks testosterone.
Jeanette: I'm somewhat surprised
about the fact that Dr. Reed has not heard of Supprelin.
It's just something very basic for transgender youth.
Aside from the implants, you've had no other surgery, right?
Correct.
And these are homegrown?
- Yes. - Good. Good.
Homegrown. [Chuckles]
A little embarrassing question. Are you orgasmic?
- No. - Do you have orgasm?
No.
When Dr. Reed asks if I've had an orgasm,
I looked at my parents, and I just think, "no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
I'm not asking you if you can have an erection.
I'm saying are you able to experience sexual pleasure?
I may be, but I have never experienced it.
Okay.
These are questions we'd normally ask,
you know, someone older than you.
- Yeah. - But we have to be thorough.
Greg: I understand that he would have to ask the questions,
but if he didn't have a doctor garb on, I'd be like, "yo."
He got right into it there. [Laughs]
He didn't hold back anything.
It's like, "so..." You know?
"Are you orgasmic?"
It's nice to have a neurological sensation in your vagina,
so the technique we use is inversion of the penile skin.
Okay.
So we're going to use the penile skin as much as we can,
and then we're gonna extend that with a scrotal graft
if we have to.
Okay.
Dr. Reed: For a transgendered person,
a vaginoplasty is a procedure in which the pelvic space is opened
and is filled either with inverted penile skin or scrotum
to create a functional and aesthetic-looking vagina.
I'm sure these issues
are not necessarily important to you now,
but they will be when you meet Mr. Right
and you're gonna want to have penetrating sex
and you want to be able, you know,
to have a relatively normal vaginal depth.
Okay.
Is there anything else that you want to discuss
before I examine you?
I think he should examine you, and then he can see what...
Yeah.
Dr. Reed: Yeah. We all agree.
I don't want to speculate until you see.
Okay. Follow me, please.
Okay.
Dr. Reed: When doing vaginoplasties,
an ideal surgical candidate will have a sufficiency
of penile skin or scrotal skin to work with.
Dr. Reed: Give us a little cough.
- Jazz: [Coughs] - Good. Relax.
[Mid-tempo music plays]
What a healthy child.
You have every reason to be proud and love your child.
She's adorable.
That's very sweet. Thank you.
As much as I'm reluctant
to deal with Jazz having bottom surgery...
this is a very uncomfortable process,
but after I saw that she was taking it serious,
that makes me, you know, understand
that Jazz is more ready than I realize.
So, the testosterone suppression did you two big favors here,
but it didn't do you any favors down below.
You have, you know, a very small penile shaft skin,
both in length and in circumference.
And you have an itsy-bitsy scrotum.
Okay?
The use of testosterone blockers
has obviously stunted her genital growth.
Jazz's genitalia is certainly not workable
for a standard vaginoplasty.
I hate to say this to you, but it's gonna be difficult
to do the type of vaginoplasty that you want.
Jazz: When you've wanted something for so long
and then you're told that you may not get it,
it's a really scary feeling.
I just don't even know what to think,
because I've always figured it would just be this way.
I'm throwing this out to you.
I don't do this operation,
but you may consider a colonic vaginoplasty,
where they take a segment of your bowel
and transfer that down to the pelvic space
and make a vagina out of that.
[Down-tempo music plays]
Does the vagina end up looking different aestheticwise?
It's not necessarily cosmetically
the most beautiful thing in the world.
What about functionalitywise?
- Should work the same way. - Okay.
Now, the only thing is that the colon does excrete
a little bit of mucus.
And that mucus, even if there's no fecal material there,
has a slightly different odor than normal vaginal secretion.
It's not quite the same.
Jazz: On top of everything else,
Dr. Reed mentions the mucus and odor.
And, like, what if I poop out of my vagina?
[Laughs] You don't know!
You don't know what's gonna happen,
and that's the worst thing I can imagine.
- Well, thank you so much. - You're welcome. A pleasure.
- We've learned a lot today. - Okay. Thank you for coming.
And we taught you about the supprelin implant.
- Yeah. Right. - We taught you something, too.
I guarantee you'll be hearing more about that.
There's a new generation of trans kids coming.
Yes, they are. A whole wave. [Laughs]
But look at the potential disadvantages of it.
Because if it causes microgenitalia, that's not good.
Jeanette: I have to disagree.
These kids, they...
it's lifesaving for them to have the suppression
because the suicide-attempt rates are 50% for the youth.
Putting Jazz on the T-blocker at an early age
was the perfect and right decision for her,
because look at her.
She's a beautiful young girl.
She did not develop in a masculine manner.
For Dr. Reed's expertise and what he needs to do
and the material he needs, no, it wasn't to his advantage.
But it was 100% the right decision for her.
Parents just want their kids to have a great childhood,
a happy childhood,
and I know Jazz has had that.
So if we have to go a different route now, it's worth it.
Jazz: Being on these blockers, it has been incredible.
If I had to develop as a male,
I would be so depressed and so uncomfortable in my own body.
So I wouldn't change it at all.
But knowing that I may not be able
to get the standard vaginoplasty is really upsetting
because I know that I need this, and I may not get it.
I can't imagine not having a vagina
for the rest of my life.
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