♪ Shave it off, stay alive, open wide ♪
♪ Show us how to conquer first and then divide ♪
♪ Don't know if we're stayin' long, stayin' long ♪
♪ Used to staying weak ♪
♪ And now we're staying strong ♪
♪ We don't wanna go where we do not belong ♪
♪ Lonely as the day is long, day is long ♪
Hey, it's my Sadie and yours,
Sarah Silverman!
- Hi!
Oh, really?
Hello!
Hello.
Hi. Hi!
Oh, hello to you!
Hi, everybody.
Thank you for tuning in on this,
the one-year anniversary
of Trump losing the popular vote!
Ooh!
Salty!
I know, that came out hot 'n liberal,
so let's see... we have to say something
for the other side too.
Emails, nothingburger, lock her up!
Okay, here we go.
So this week is the one-year anniversary
of the presidential election, and it made me reflect on
where I was a year ago on election night.
When it was finally official and Trump had won,
I felt something I'd never felt before,
which was this overwhelming
survival-based fear.
You know, I had the sudden urge to buy a gun
and stockpile water and weapons and canned goods.
In an instant, I basically became,
like, a liberal doomsday prepper.
I really did.
Like I suddenly needed a vest with like a thousand pockets.
And for the first time, I felt an actual kinship
uh, to the far-right militia person
who, you know, thought Obama would end the world.
You know, I might as well build a bunker and sleep in there
but, you know, I need so many creams and--
It's a whole process. It--really, it wouldn't work.
But I realized it's that,
it's that feeling of fear that makes us the same.
You know, we are, all of us,
both paralyzed and motivated by fear.
There's a famous Maya Angelou quote,
"Show me the Carfax."
That is not right.
That's not right. It was--
Oh! It was--No.
"People will forget what you said,
"people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel."
I do think she did the Carfax one as well.
But the point is that tapping into people's feelings
is more powerful than anything else.
Facts really don't change people.
Feelings change people.
When we hear facts that counter our beliefs,
we tend to just dig in deeper, you know,
and then the facts don't really matter, do they, you know?
If you told a climate change denier
that humans contribute to global warming,
they would say that's a lie, it's a hoax.
Just like if someone tells me that Obama was born in Kenya,
I'd be like, "That's simply not true."
Now, granted, one of those facts comes from
97% of the world's top scientists
and the other was written on, like, the bathroom wall
at the Golden Corral, but...
Still, it's hard for us to change what we believe
unless something hits us right here, you know,
in our... in our left tit.
It's a tongue twister, you know.
Unless it hits us right here,
in our left tit. Lef-t ti-t. Mmm.
Sorry.
I just spiraled off into my own world for a moment.
The most successful politicians
are the ones who tap into feelings, right?
You know, one example is Barack Obama,
who tapped into our hopes.
And another is Donald Trump,
who tapped into something possibly even more powerful--
our fears.
It's powerful because we all fear so much,
you know, real things and things that are also
just not yet known to us.
We fear the unknown.
And that's why Trump's campaign was so effective.
He took our fears and our rage
and he gave us a place to put it all,
and that place was each other.
And when we're divided, we're easily controlled, right?
So the challenge for all of us
is to resist divisiveness
and try to see ourselves in each other
just as best we can. As the saying goes,
"Be the change you wish to see in the Carfax."
God damn it, that is such a fucking catchy ad.
Thank you.
Most importantly, what we should all do
is learn about the things we fear
so that we can decipher between
what is actual danger and what is just a kneejerk reaction
to something that is simply unfamiliar to us.
- That's right, Sarah.
- Wha--Oh! Fuck! Kill it! Kill it!
- It's me, the Bald Eagle.
- - Jumpy!
- I'm sorry, Bald Eagle, I am so--
You know what, you startled me,
and I reacted in a...
I reacted in fear. Wait, this is actually perfect.
It fits perfectly.
When I didn't know who you were,
I was afraid, and I wanted you dead.
- Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe try to get to know
a majestic symbol of America first
before you try to murder it.
- You're absolutely right.
- Anyhoo, I see you got a show about America,
and I thought I would stop by and teach you some factoids.
- That would be amazing. I'd love that!
- Okay! Well, did you know that the bald eagle
is one of the fastest birds in North America?
We can fly up to 100 miles an hour.
- Whoa! If you did that on the highway,
you'd get a speeding ticket!
- Yeah. Also...
I lay eggs through my cloaca!
- Cl--Okay, what's a cloaca?
- It's a single hole that all birds have
for both waste and reproduction.
- Oh, wow, that's interesting. What other facts do you--
- A little more about the cloaca.
With only one hole,
it means that when I lay an egg,
it goes down the same slide my shit does.
- Right. No. I get it. A single hole for all.
But, um, that's probably convenient.
- No, it's not, Sarah.
One hole means I never know what's coming.
I feel something coming out and it's like,
oh, fuck, do I put this in the nest
or put it on the hood of a car? I have no idea!
- Yeah, that's a conundrum.
- Yet, you have a specific hole
for each thing that comes out of you.
What luxury! There's a place for everything,
and everything in its place.
Meanwhile, I don't know if I'm shitting
or laying an egg.
- Right. No. We got it. Uh, we--
I think we're pretty crystal clear on that.
But, hey, the gift of flight!
- Do you know how to get shit out of feathers?
- No. How?
- I don't know! I'm asking you, dumbass!
- Oh, Bald Eagle.
- I'm not bald! There are feathers on my head!
- Oh, yeah. - It's so backhanded.
You get to be the symbol of America, but also,
we're gonna call you bald 100% of the time.
Do you say, "Hi, bald Bruce Willis"?
"Hi, bald Ed Harris."
Kill me. You know what?
I wish I was extinct already.
- Feh, feh, feh! - What is that?
What's feh, feh, feh? - Feh, feh, feh.
It's like "God forbid." It's a Jewishy thing, I guess.
- P-U. Jews.
- Fuck you! - Fuck you! Eat my...
- - Is it an egg?
It's an egg. It's an egg!
- Yeah, it is, it's an egg!
Oh, my gosh! I know it happens every day,
but...
it's a miracle!
It really is a miracle
when a puppet gives birth to a Styrofoam egg.
We'll be right back.
Oh--bye.
- As I mentioned earlier, I've been feeling
a lot of solidarity with survivalists,
and I got curious
about what those doomsday bunkers are like.
So I sent my friend comedian Gil Ozeri
to check it out. I would have gone myself,
but it turns out I didn't want to.
So take a look.
- Hi. I'm Gil Ozeri, and I'm pretty terrified
about the end of the world.
That's why I'm here in Spring City, Utah.
I've been in contact with a guy named Pete Larson
who is a doomsday prepper,
and he's agreed to let me stay in his bunker
overnight, with him, just the two of us.
I'm very scared.
Oh, I think I see... Pete over here.
Oh. All right.
Oops. Ha ha.
- Hello, Gil. - Hey, Pete.
- Pete Larson. Nice to meet you.
- How's it going? Nice to meet you.
- It's good. - We're spending the next
24 hours together. - We are.
- Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
- Yeah. I've been involved in the preparedness program
since--really, since I was a child.
- Oh, wow. - Because I grew up
during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
We live in a precarious world.
If you're prepared, you're not scared.
So I keep a year's supply of beans, bullets,
and band-aids. - Beans, bullets, and band--
the three Bs. - You can have four Bs--
throw in the bible as well. - Right. Okay.
You don't need a year's supply of that, though.
You just need one. - Just one.
- I'm often told that I'm being too nervous,
too over-prepared. How do you respond to that?
- If you stop and look at
some of the recent problems that we've had--
the hurricanes and such. - Yes.
- The earthquakes. If somebody hits us
with a bomb, a financial collapse
would create a tremendous amount of chaos in the cities.
- How likely do you think these things are...
like, to happen?
- I think they're guaranteed. - Okay.
- One of the biggest problems in the city--when the water
runs out, where are the people gonna go for water?
That'll be ditch water and ponds and lakes.
- You're describing, like, a nightmare to me.
- A nightmare. The nightmare only gets worse.
- Okay, good. - When 90% of the
U.S. population will die in the first year.
- I'm calling you if there's a nuke.
"Pete, I need a place." - Sure.
- Yeah. Can you fit my family? If not, can you just fit me?
You've really opened my eyes to a laundry list of things
I can be terrified of.
So where is the bunker? - Let's go take a look.
- All right, let's go take a look.
- This is it. This is the entrance.
- Wait--ls that it? - This is a steel door that--
- I didn't even notice it before, honestly.
It was just sitting there. Which is I guess a good thing.
- That is a good thing. - You don't want a sign
that says, "Bunker here."
Let's pop this baby open. Is that, uh...
- That's it. - What you say?
- Yes.
All right. - Wow.
- There she is. - Oh, my God.
- How does that look? - Uh... terrifying.
Oh, it's got the stench that I thought it would have.
Oh, it's heavy!
Yeah, grab there... just pull her tight.
- Here we go.
Good-bye, world!
Oh...
- Well, Gil, welcome to our home away from home.
- Oh, my God. - Ha.
- This is some of the food storage
and supplies that we keep.
- It's pretty low, the ceiling. - It is.
- What happens if there's a fire down here?
- We've got fire extinguishers. - I'm terrified of everything.
- Well, I've noticed that. - Yeah. So these are
diapers over here. - Diapers, yes.
You don't have to be afraid of those.
They're for babies. - And these are the beds.
What are these--these look like serious bullets.
- They're ones that don't fit in this gun.
- Okay. - They fit in a little bit
bigger gun. - Okay. I don't wanna ask it,
but it's in my head. - Sure.
- What if one of those things goes through my brain?
What happens to my brain? - Uh, it would ruin it.
It would turn it into mush. - Okay.
- And a lot of it would squirt out the exit hole.
- All right, that checks out.
I'm starting to feel claustrophobic a little.
It is, like, small for me.
I feel like we're almost buried alive.
- We actually are. - Oh, we are buried alive.
Right now. - The good news is,
every time I've come down, I've been able to get out.
- Totally.
I'm very nervous and hot right now but, you know...
Um... what's the temperature-- - It's actually 59 degrees.
- It is? Why am I...
sweating like a pig?
Am I talking too much? - No, you're okay.
Let me introduce you to the bunker bathroom.
Pick that up-- - Oh, that's heavy!
- That is a little heavy. That's 5 gallons of water.
And that's kind of an interesting thing about water--
it is heavy. Now, this is the water
that we'll use for flushing.
Once it goes in the toilet, never drink it.
Pull out one of those packets.
It's going to turn the water blue.
That's another important thing. If you see blue water,
don't drink that. - Don't drink the water.
I've also heard don't... eat...
brown... shit.
- Keep going, you'll see.
Lookit there. - Whoa!
- You're flushing the toilet!
- We made a toilet! - We did.
- This is like "We Bought a Zoo"
except with a toilet. - You need to stop.
You've had too much fun. - Okay.
When we cook some dinner up, I have to tell you
that I am kosher. - Oh!
- I can't eat many things.
The ramen comes in a package of 2,000.
- Pick the one you think I'm gonna like.
- This says it's ramen flavor. - Yeah, I'll take that.
- Ramen noodles. - Hey, good job.
- And here's chunk light tuna.
This says 2013 on it. - 2013.
You know what's kind of interesting about canned goods?
- They last... - Many, many years.
- This expired four years ago,
but you're saying we can still eat it.
- Yes. Well, the good news is
you're the one that's going to eat it--it's kosher.
- Oh, right, this is the only thing I can eat.
- Open that up. - Oh, that was a knife
that you just flipped open. - Oh, it was.
- That is cool and... scary.
Bad-ass.
- That looked good comin' out. - Yeah, it did.
- Look at that pink meat. - Well, bon appetite.
- Yours looks much better than mine.
Mine's just... - It does look grim,
doesn't it? - Four-year-old tuna.
I don't wanna swallow it. - Just suck it down.
Last thing I want is to clean up a mess in here.
- Ugh, it's so disgusting.
I deserve it for being kosher, right?
- - No.
You shouldn't have laughed at that.
- I'm sorry. - You shouldn't have laughed.
That was a test.
So this was--This is what it would be like
for like a month or two months straight.
- Yeah. - I can't believe
I just went for another bite. - I'm ready to call it a day.
What do you think of your PJs?
I really appreciate 'em.
Is there anything that you're afraid of?
You know, Gil, there's not.
- That's not true.
- There--there really isn't.
- If it's not fear that made you
build this... bunker,
then what--what is it?
- I'm a realist, and I recognize
that things will go wrong, and so I prepare for them.
My greatest hope is that my great-great grandchildren...
- Uh-huh. - Come into this shelter
look at it and say, "You know, Grandpa Pete
was a goofy character. Look at all this stuff."
- We don't need it. - I'm hoping that's what
will ultimately happen.
- I guess you could say
that you built this bunker not out of fear
but out of love for them. - That's exactly right.
Yeah, very good observation. - Thank you very much.
I... I came up with it myself.
- Good job.
That's what I like about you, Gil.
You're a thinker. - Thank you very much.
You too. Okay, so I have one more question, Pete.
Who do you have a crush on?
- - Should we call it a night?
- Let's call it a night.
Good night, Gil.
- Good night, Pete.
Oh! That tuna's coming up.
- Oh... hold it down, buddy, hold it down.
- Hello, world.
Oh!
We did it. We're alive.
Ha ha. We did it. You're right.
I thought I was gonna have to carry you out.
- Yeah. - Gil, it's been a pleasure.
- Hey, it's been... it's been great.
- All right, good. - I'm gonna take off.
Oh, wait. Can I have a hug?
- Uh, no. - Okay.
Yeah, I went too far with that. - Yeah, you did.
- I think me and Pete
are more similar than he thinks.
We both worry too much about the worst-case scenario.
We deal with it in different ways.
I mean, he prepares for stuff, but at the end of the day,
I would say that I'm more courageous than Pete.
- I would never say that to Pete's face.
I love Pete, but Pete's a maniac.
Do you know, I really didn't know what to expect.
Gil's a comedian,
and quite frankly, he was delightful to have.
If he ever wants, he's certainly welcome to come back.
But I don't think Gil has
a snowball's chance of surviving a nuclear holocaust.
- 30 years ago, my guest was a young Jesuit priest
in East L. A. at the height of the gang war,
and since then, he has dedicated his life
to giving jobs and hope to gang members
through Homeboy Industries.
Please welcome Father Gregory Boyle.
Okay.
Before we get started,
tell us what Homeboy Industries is.
- Homeboy Industries is the largest gang intervention
rehab/re-entry program on the planet.
People weren't really felony "friendly,"
they weren't hiring homies, so we started a bakery
and then a tortilla factory.
And then we have added-- Now we have nine businesses.
So we get about 15,000 folks a year
walking in our doors, trying to reimagine their lives
and start all over again.
People outta prison or people who wanna
leave behind the gang life.
- That's amazing.
You had a slogan. Your slogan used to be,
"Nothing stops a bullet like a job."
Is that something you still believe now?
- Well, in the beginning, you know, the homies would say,
"If only we had a job," and so we tried to do that.
And if the problem is about a lethal absence of hope,
then you wanna infuse hope to kids
for whom hope is foreign.
So... so a job... but--
but then what we discovered was sometimes
somebody would throw a monkey wrench into their life--
their lady would leave them or something like that--
and then they would kind of relapse.
They'd go back to the gang and to the neighborhood,
and then they'd go to prison.
So we since then have, you know,
reconfigured this notion of healing is the thing
that really guarantees that somebody won't go back.
So an educated inmate may or may not reoffend,
and an employed one may or may not reoffend.
But if somebody has really experienced
a foundational, essential healing,
then they won't ever go back to prison.
- And you've really done it. I mean, where, like,
the statistics say someone who comes out of prison...
70% of them will go back.
After going through Homeboy Industries,
that percentage went down to 30%.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I know! - I apologize for my voice.
- But it's got a sexy
gravellyness to it... -
- He's a little hoarse, but... - -
- I'm a little horse, but... Your voice is a little hoarse.
I think it's a very sexy gravellyness.
Um...
you wrote a book, "Barking to the Choir"
and in it you talk about-- and I love this--
radical kinship.
Tell me about that, "radical kinship."
- Well, I think all the things we want,
you know, in this country
and the things we wanna struggle for--
you know, peace, justice, equality--
are really byproducts of our kinship.
So no kinship, no peace,
and no kinship, no equality.
And no kinship, no justice,
no matter how singularly focused we might be
on those worthy goals, unless we stand against
forgetting that we belong to each other,
that there is no "us" and "them."
And that's the point of kinship.
And so Homeboy tries to be what they think--
what we think the world is invited to become,
which is a community where everybody belongs.
- How do I practice that with people who, like,
use Jesus's name
as an excuse for divisiveness,
for non-inclusion? - Yeah.
What we're all called to do, really,
is to imagine a circle of compassion
and then imagine nobody standing outside that circle.
And so we're all called, I think,
to dismantle the barriers that exclude--
- We have to include the excluders.
- Exactly. And part of it is coming to terms
and being friends with your own brokenness
and your own wound. Because if you aren't,
if you're a stranger to your own wound,
then you're gonna be tempted to despise the wounded,
which I think accounts for
what's happening in the country.
There's such a high moral distance
between us and them,
and there's a kind of wholesale despising
of... of broken people.
- But it's hard to watch someone who's crying for help
and who's wounded... but has immense power
and is taking their damage with them
into the White House, into wherever--
That's just a random example.
- For example. - You know, and your pans--
you know, choosing to not see
the spirit of why people in the NFL are kneeling.
He's making a choice to not hear what they're saying
of why they're kneeling. - That's right.
- And he's deciding to say this is against the military,
when it's just simply not.
He's deciding to not hear that.
But how do we... hug this out of him
or--you know what I mean?
- Well, but in the end, the power--
there is nothing more powerful in the world
than loving kindness.
And somehow, you have to trust that,
and even when it comes to people who are...
hard-headed
and the leaders of the free world.
- You started at ground zero of gang violence,
but really, I feel like...
we're living in a time where anywhere in the country
is potentially ground zero of gun violence.
- Yeah. - What is happening?
What are we getting wrong?
- I tire of talking about it
because it's just not sensible and...
and legislators need to do what they ought to do,
which is-- 90% of the country
believe there should be some controls
and background checks.
So if only elected officials would--would listen
to, you know, what people really long for,
we'd be better off.
- Maybe we should start a Homeboy Bakery
at the NRA corporate offices.
- There you go. Sure.
- Include them and make them feel loved
and seen.
The day after the election, you wrote a beautiful email
to all your Homeboy community.
Would you share those thoughts with us now?
- So the Trump election was kind of foreign,
you know, because it was all about,
truthfully, hate and division and, uh...
that was not what they knew, so it kind of freaked them out.
But I always think, you know, moments like this
remind us of the things we care about.
And I think it happened and it will continue to happen,
where people are galvanized to a place of resistance
and prophetic stance
that announces a message
of, you know, hope and the power of love,
you know, in spite of everything.
People want to be connected to each other, no matter what.
- All we have to do is realize that we are.
- Yeah, that's right. That we already are.
- You can use that. - Yeah, thank you.
- I came up with it from what you said.
Father Greg, thank you so much.
You're amazing.
- Thanks, kiddo.
- What a show!
My new eagle friend taught me so much about America
and eagle tushie vagina holes.
I got to talk to Father Gregory,
and my old friend Gil Ozeri taught me
it's best to be prepared for the worst.
Now it's time to get ready for bed!
Ohh... yah!
And the End of Days.
Good night, America. I--