1
00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:04,644
This was a good idea.
2
00:00:04,646 --> 00:00:05,978
It's been a long time
since we've had girls' night.
3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:08,014
Yeah, it's so nice to
have a relaxing evening
4
00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:10,216
at home doing nothing.
5
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,285
Yeah, really breaks up
the other 30 days
6
00:00:12,287 --> 00:00:14,353
I've spent on bed rest
doing nothing.
7
00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:17,957
Well, tonight we're gonna
make you forget all that.
8
00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:19,792
You're gonna make me forget
I've been stuck in bed
9
00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:21,992
while a baby uses my bladder
as a kickball?
10
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,693
(knocking)
11
00:00:23,717 --> 00:00:25,999
Hey, you had unprotected sex
with Howard.
12
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,401
You deserve to be miserable.
13
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,004
Hey, I need some
fashion advice.
14
00:00:32,006 --> 00:00:34,073
Really? From me?
I would love to...
15
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,975
Actually, Leonard told me
Penny was over here?
16
00:00:35,977 --> 00:00:38,444
Hey, what's going on?
You got a date?
17
00:00:38,446 --> 00:00:40,513
I, uh, do have a date...
with science.
18
00:00:40,515 --> 00:00:43,516
Oh, what's science wearing?
19
00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:47,220
The Griffith Observatory is
looking for an astrophysicist
20
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,856
to consult, and I have
an interview tomorrow.
21
00:00:49,858 --> 00:00:51,624
Oh, I love the observatory.
22
00:00:51,626 --> 00:00:54,093
They tell you your weight
on all the different planets.
23
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:57,363
Yeah. It's always
bikini season on Venus.
24
00:00:57,365 --> 00:00:59,398
I think you'd be
great at that.
25
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,666
Don't you agree, Bernadette?
26
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,169
Huh? I'm listening.
I'm listening.
27
00:01:03,171 --> 00:01:05,404
I'm not watching The Crown.
28
00:01:05,406 --> 00:01:07,573
I just want to make a
good first impression,
29
00:01:07,575 --> 00:01:10,309
and thought maybe you could
help me pick out an outfit?
30
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:11,944
Of course.
Let's see what you got.
31
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,646
Yeah, you just need
to pick something
32
00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:15,148
that-that you feel
confident in.
33
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,350
I'm sorry.
I left my magic clothes at home.
34
00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:19,852
I'm sure
these two options will be f...
35
00:01:22,257 --> 00:01:25,491
So you-you have
other clothes at home?
36
00:01:25,493 --> 00:01:26,592
Uh, it doesn't matter.
37
00:01:26,594 --> 00:01:28,294
They're talking
to a bunch of people.
38
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,512
I probably won't get it anyway.
39
00:01:29,514 --> 00:01:30,320
Well, don't say that.
40
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:32,466
Yeah, you have to
believe in yourself.
41
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,300
You know,
before I came to America,
42
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,701
I was filled with confidence.
43
00:01:35,703 --> 00:01:37,370
What happened to me?
44
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:39,438
Hey, is that Raj there
at girls' night?
45
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,873
Well, hey.
Hey, Howard.
46
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:42,909
Just remember,
if you fall asleep first,
47
00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:45,778
they're gonna
freeze your bra.
48
00:01:46,848 --> 00:01:50,149
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
49
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,486
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
50
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,087
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
51
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,623
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
52
00:01:57,625 --> 00:02:00,326
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
53
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:03,062
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
54
00:02:03,064 --> 00:02:04,897
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
55
00:02:04,899 --> 00:02:05,300
♪ Bang! ♪
56
00:02:05,301 --> 00:02:09,301
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x10 ♪
The Confidence Erosion
Original Air Date
57
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:14,502
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
58
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,818
You and Amy having fun
planning your wedding?
59
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,888
We're employing a
mathematical approach
60
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:24,726
called decision theory,
so, heck, yeah.
61
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,628
Heck, yeah?
62
00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:31,032
Looks like someone need to put a
dollar in the almost-swear jar.
63
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,168
We've assigned all wedding
decisions randomly,
64
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:35,270
and each of us
makes half of them.
65
00:02:35,272 --> 00:02:37,372
You know, from
venue to officiant
66
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:42,577
to numbering system for the
tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
67
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,412
Why not hexadecimal?
68
00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:49,617
'Cause this is our
wedding, not a joke.
69
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,454
- Hey, guys.
-Hello. - Hey.
70
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:53,922
Oh, good.
Raj is here
71
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,424
to tell us
today's specials.
72
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,594
Very funny. I have my interview
this afternoon.
73
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,895
Oh. If it doesn't work out,
74
00:03:00,897 --> 00:03:02,630
you're ready to go
on your Mormon mission.
75
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,101
I-I don't understand
what's going on here.
76
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,635
Oh, what's going on here is
77
00:03:07,637 --> 00:03:09,504
I'm up for a job
at the planetarium,
78
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:11,239
and Howard is
making fun of me.
79
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:14,943
Oh, that's great. You're
both doing what you love.
80
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,745
Well, I'm excited for you.
81
00:03:16,747 --> 00:03:18,880
Oh, thanks, yeah.
I'd be in charge of developing
82
00:03:18,882 --> 00:03:20,949
and narrating all
the planetarium shows.
83
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,117
And I really want this,
84
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,752
so it wouldn't kill you
to be more supportive.
85
00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:27,388
But if it did, you could bury me
at the funeral home you direct.
86
00:03:27,390 --> 00:03:31,860
Wait. The premise is that
he is dressed differently?
87
00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:33,628
Yeah.
88
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,631
(laughing): That's true.
He is not dressed the same.
89
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,369
(Skype tones sound)
90
00:03:41,371 --> 00:03:42,937
Hey, Dad.
91
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:44,272
Hello, Rajesh.
92
00:03:44,274 --> 00:03:45,406
How was the interview?
93
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:46,574
Uh, not so great.
94
00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,576
They asked me
what my biggest weakness was,
95
00:03:48,578 --> 00:03:51,880
and 45 minutes later,
they thanked me for coming.
96
00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:56,484
Son, don't take this the wrong
way, but what's your problem?
97
00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:00,155
I would tell you, but apparently
it takes 45 minutes.
98
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,723
You know what?
99
00:04:01,725 --> 00:04:04,325
I bet it's those friends
you surround yourself with.
100
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,162
Like that Howard,
always making fun of you.
101
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,597
Howard doesn't mean anything
by it.
102
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:10,932
I-I think it's cultural.
103
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:12,901
His people come
from a very sarcastic village
104
00:04:12,903 --> 00:04:15,170
called Brooklyn.
105
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,672
Don't make excuses.
106
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,874
What kind of friend
acts that way?
107
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,209
Well, I-I guess...
108
00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:22,777
It was a rhetorical question.
109
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:25,079
A bad friend!
110
00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,081
Come on, Dad! That's just
our relationship, okay?
111
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,083
He makes Indian jokes,
and I laugh,
112
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:32,987
but, you know, with angry eyes
so he knows it's not okay.
113
00:04:32,989 --> 00:04:35,590
I, too, was in a relationship
114
00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:38,827
with someone who made me
feel bad about myself.
115
00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:41,462
If you're talking about Mom,
I don't want to hear it.
116
00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:43,665
I'm just saying,
if you replace Howard
117
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,534
with a nice 22-year-old
grad student,
118
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:50,071
your self-confidence will soar.
119
00:04:52,409 --> 00:04:54,809
All right, Amy,
you're up.
120
00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:57,579
Next decision.
121
00:04:57,581 --> 00:04:58,713
AMY:
Come on, first dance!
122
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,448
Come on, first dance!
123
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,917
(ding)
124
00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,285
Invitations!
Oh!
125
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:05,453
That's a good one.
126
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:06,788
Just a suggestion--
127
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:10,725
hologram projected out of R2-D2.
128
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,795
Thanks for your input,
but this is my decision,
129
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,897
and I'm gonna go with...
130
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:19,133
Old English calligraphy
on Egyptian papyrus.
131
00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:21,502
Oh, what a fun mashup.
132
00:05:21,504 --> 00:05:24,205
It's like the chicken
and waffles of orthography.
133
00:05:25,342 --> 00:05:26,808
Your turn.
134
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:29,677
(rhythmic clicking)
135
00:05:30,513 --> 00:05:31,746
(ding)
136
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,047
Ring bearer!
Oh.
137
00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:36,417
Boy, I'm so glad that
R2-D2 is still available.
138
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,254
You know,
this is really fun.
139
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,356
I can't believe that people say
that planning a wedding is one
140
00:05:41,358 --> 00:05:42,757
of the most stressful things
in life.
141
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,660
I know. Not a day goes by
that I don't marvel
142
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,862
how much better we are
than other people.
143
00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:52,500
I'm so sorry the
interview didn't go well.
144
00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:54,135
Yeah, you would've
been perfect for it.
145
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:55,937
Oh, I just
get so nervous,
146
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,106
and then I start apologizing
for being nervous, and...
147
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,775
You guys don't want
to hear about this. I'm sorry.
148
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,910
Stop apologizing!
149
00:06:01,912 --> 00:06:03,111
Oh, my God!
150
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,812
You sound just like
the woman at the interview!
151
00:06:04,814 --> 00:06:07,448
Have you ever thought
about talking
152
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,884
to some kind of therapist
about all this?
153
00:06:09,886 --> 00:06:11,185
Ugh. Maybe.
154
00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:13,788
Hey, Leonard, do you think
your mom would be available?
155
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,692
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
156
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:20,028
Talking to my mom
157
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:22,563
to get more confidence
is like talking to a lion
158
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,599
to get more alive.
159
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,834
Well, my dad thinks
160
00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:29,170
it's because Howard's always
making fun of me.
161
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,772
Well, that makes sense.
162
00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:32,840
Well, what do you mean,
that makes sense?
163
00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:35,109
Well, Howard does make fun
of him a lot.
164
00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:37,045
Well, that's not
all Howard's fault.
165
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:39,747
I mean, if Raj doesn't want
to be made fun of, then I...
166
00:06:39,749 --> 00:06:43,751
Hmm. I don't know a nice way
to finish this sentence.
167
00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:45,620
Well, so you're on his side?
168
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:46,955
I'm just saying,
169
00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:49,324
that's what friends do. You
know, they bust on each other.
170
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,658
It doesn't
mean anything.
171
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,360
Well, I'm not surprised
you think so.
172
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:53,628
Why is that?
173
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,530
Well, you can be
kind of mean to me.
174
00:06:55,532 --> 00:06:58,433
Well, that's
because you're...
175
00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:03,304
Wow. I don't know how
to finish that sentence, either.
176
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:06,774
You know what? I think we're
both done being disrespected.
177
00:07:07,811 --> 00:07:11,379
I got a few rounds left in me.
178
00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:14,382
Attaboy, champ.
179
00:07:15,618 --> 00:07:19,420
Okay, let's see what
we've got so far.
180
00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:22,390
I arrive in a Little House
on the Prairie style
181
00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:25,126
horse-drawn buggy.
182
00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:29,931
Where you are met with
an honor guard of stormtroopers.
183
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:33,101
Do you think
that might be jarring,
184
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,037
going from wholesome pioneers
to space Nazis?
185
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,507
I see what you're saying.
186
00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:41,509
You're thinking
that you should arrive
187
00:07:41,511 --> 00:07:45,646
in a replica
of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
188
00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:48,583
It's not what I'm thinking,
189
00:07:48,585 --> 00:07:50,385
and to save you
190
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,253
the trouble for the future,
191
00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:54,389
it will never be
what I'm thinking.
192
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:58,259
Well... if the ushers are
so important to you,
193
00:07:58,261 --> 00:07:59,761
what if I
propose a trade?
194
00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:04,665
You may pick that, and I will
decide, say, first dance.
195
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:08,970
Great. Then the ushers
will be... my cousins
196
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:11,973
dressed in frontier frock coats.
Oh.
197
00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:16,744
And the first dance will be
that we won't have one.
198
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,414
All right. Then our...
199
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,383
second dance will be
the first dance.
200
00:08:22,385 --> 00:08:25,686
Unless we have
no dance at all.
201
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:27,889
Ha-ha.
202
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:31,025
Well, if we're changing things,
203
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:35,029
then instead
of throwing confetti,
204
00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,531
we'll release butterflies.
205
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:39,901
Airborne worms?! Have
you lost your mind?!
206
00:08:39,903 --> 00:08:41,803
Well, if you're
going to do that,
207
00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:43,337
then I am changing the officiant
208
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:45,073
to that husky Spider-Man
209
00:08:45,075 --> 00:08:48,042
that hangs out
at the Chinese Theater.
210
00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:52,613
Fine. Wedding
toasts in Latin.
211
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:57,118
Great. Vows in Klingon.
212
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,288
Then I'm changing the
flower girl to a dog.
213
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,858
And guess what he'll be
scattering instead of petals!
214
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:07,862
(knocking)
215
00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:10,298
Want to grab
some lunch?
216
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,467
You know what?
I don't think so.
217
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,769
Well, let me guess.
You're not eating
218
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:18,873
because the mean girls circled
your chubby bits in marker?
219
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:22,043
No. That. That right there.
That's the reason.
220
00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:23,377
You're always
making fun of me.
221
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:25,313
(laughing):
Oh, those are just jokes.
222
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,814
It's my way
223
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,583
of saying that
we're friends,
224
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:31,119
and it wouldn't hurt
you to drop a few!
225
00:09:32,622 --> 00:09:35,990
See? No wonder
I don't have any confidence.
226
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,459
Come on. You can't
blame that on me.
227
00:09:38,461 --> 00:09:42,763
Why not? 15 years
of constant ridicule. I-I think
228
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:44,765
our relationship
has become toxic.
229
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:46,767
Uh, what are you saying?
230
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:50,938
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.
231
00:09:53,143 --> 00:09:56,577
Look, I... I can see
you're upset, but...
232
00:09:56,579 --> 00:10:00,281
I'm gonna need some
ground rules. I mean,
233
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:03,885
while we're apart, can I see
other needy Indian men?
234
00:10:03,887 --> 00:10:06,053
Get out!
235
00:10:12,951 --> 00:10:14,784
What do you
think will make
236
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,719
the wedding worse for Amy:
237
00:10:16,721 --> 00:10:20,423
a cake made with salt
instead of sugar...
238
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:26,195
...or a cake iced
with congealed gravy?
239
00:10:27,065 --> 00:10:29,398
That is a trick question.
240
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,735
The answer is:
you as the groom.
241
00:10:34,906 --> 00:10:36,872
Neither of them
will be the actual cake.
242
00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:38,874
I'm just using it
as a bargaining chip
243
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:42,545
to get Amy to agree to the whole
wedding party getting rings
244
00:10:42,547 --> 00:10:46,615
and us getting one ring
to rule them all.
245
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:53,089
I forget, which mental hospital
are you guys registered at?
246
00:10:53,091 --> 00:10:54,023
Hello.
247
00:10:54,025 --> 00:10:55,358
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hello.
248
00:10:58,196 --> 00:10:59,462
Really?
249
00:10:59,464 --> 00:11:00,796
You're not
gonna sit here?
250
00:11:00,798 --> 00:11:03,933
I'll sit there as
soon as you leave.
251
00:11:03,935 --> 00:11:05,634
You're still
on this?
252
00:11:05,636 --> 00:11:07,269
I said sorry.
253
00:11:07,271 --> 00:11:10,573
Well, "sorry" doesn't make up
for years of emotional abuse.
254
00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:13,075
(sighs)
Well, what's it gonna take?
255
00:11:13,077 --> 00:11:16,278
You want half my sandwich?
256
00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:19,882
What is going on?
257
00:11:19,884 --> 00:11:23,619
Raj is trying to blame me
for his pathetic life.
258
00:11:23,621 --> 00:11:25,154
His life isn't pathetic.
259
00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:28,024
He's got that whole table
to himself.
260
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,428
One of us should go sit with Raj
so he's not alone.
261
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:35,064
But I'm not done telling you
about my wedding revenge plans.
262
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:36,499
You're right. Go on.
263
00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:37,733
Okay, well, first,
I'm going to try
264
00:11:37,735 --> 00:11:40,903
to get Amy to trade with me
for hors d'oeuvres...
265
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:45,641
Oh, good,
you're here.
266
00:11:45,643 --> 00:11:48,177
I've decided
on our centerpieces.
267
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:51,981
I just hope your family
isn't allergic to asbestos.
268
00:11:51,983 --> 00:11:53,949
Sheldon, please stop.
269
00:11:53,951 --> 00:11:56,318
If we keep doing this, we're
gonna end up with a wedding
270
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,788
that neither one of us
will enjoy.
271
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:01,524
Are you saying
you don't want to get married?
272
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:03,526
No, of course I do.
273
00:12:03,528 --> 00:12:06,996
But that seems to be
the one thing we can agree on.
274
00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:10,332
Maybe we should
just get married at City Hall
275
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,635
and forget
about everything else.
276
00:12:12,637 --> 00:12:16,205
City Hall, hmm.
277
00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:19,508
I do like metal detectors
278
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:23,446
and the sound of
permits being denied.
279
00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:24,847
Right.
280
00:12:24,849 --> 00:12:26,949
And if we're not enjoying
planning this wedding,
281
00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:28,384
then what's the point?
282
00:12:28,386 --> 00:12:30,419
Well, historically,
a wedding was to let
283
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:32,788
other potential suitors know
that we're unavailable.
284
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,157
But I think matching
T-shirts that say
285
00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:37,993
"Hands off the merchandise"
accomplish the same thing.
286
00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:43,099
So let's pick a day
and just go do it.
287
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:47,736
How 'bout tomorrow?
288
00:12:47,738 --> 00:12:49,738
R-Really?
289
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,207
That soon?
290
00:12:51,209 --> 00:12:52,708
Why wait?
291
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:54,777
I mean, it's not that I think
we're living in sin,
292
00:12:54,779 --> 00:12:57,513
but I do like the idea
that our next act of intimacy
293
00:12:57,515 --> 00:13:00,249
will be a legal requirement.
294
00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:04,787
Tomorrow we'll go downtown
and get married.
295
00:13:04,789 --> 00:13:08,224
Or we could go to
Beverly Hills City Hall
296
00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:11,093
if you want
a destination wedding.
297
00:13:14,565 --> 00:13:17,266
Hey. You look
good today.
298
00:13:17,268 --> 00:13:19,401
What happened? What's wrong?
299
00:13:20,171 --> 00:13:21,871
Just tell me. I can take it.
300
00:13:21,873 --> 00:13:25,107
Nothing. I felt bad
about being mean to you,
301
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:26,609
so I'm being nice.
302
00:13:26,611 --> 00:13:27,643
Oh, okay.
303
00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:28,844
Sorry. I wasn't ready for it.
304
00:13:28,846 --> 00:13:30,112
Try again.
305
00:13:30,114 --> 00:13:31,180
You look handsome.
306
00:13:31,182 --> 00:13:33,549
Nope, still freaking me out.
307
00:13:34,485 --> 00:13:36,285
Hello, friends!
PENNY AND LEONARD: Hey.
308
00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:37,853
Hey, what's going on
with your hair?
309
00:13:37,855 --> 00:13:40,556
Uh, nothing. I just decided
to stop straightening it.
310
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:44,560
Wait, so you were making your
hair look like that on purpose?
311
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:48,364
When I first moved to America,
I wanted to fit in.
312
00:13:48,366 --> 00:13:49,532
And Howard's hair was straight,
313
00:13:49,534 --> 00:13:51,233
and he was the coolest person
I knew.
314
00:13:51,235 --> 00:13:54,003
Then you never saw
any other people?
315
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,438
You know what, I-I don't want
to talk about Howard.
316
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,774
I came here to celebrate!
317
00:13:58,776 --> 00:14:01,777
Yeah. I went back
to the planetarium and told them
318
00:14:01,779 --> 00:14:04,180
they were making a huge mistake,
that I'd be perfect for the job.
319
00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:06,415
I was... I was charming,
I was confident.
320
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:07,850
And they gave it to me.
321
00:14:07,852 --> 00:14:08,851
Wow.
(chuckles)
322
00:14:08,853 --> 00:14:09,818
That's amazing!
Yeah, plus,
323
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:10,819
it turns out the guy they hired
324
00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:13,222
got busted
at a sketchy massage parlor.
325
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:16,559
Oh, so happy ending for you!
326
00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:18,561
Oh, and for him.
327
00:14:19,397 --> 00:14:21,897
Yeah, I was on my way
to tell Howard,
328
00:14:21,899 --> 00:14:23,265
and then I remembered
I wasn't speaking to him,
329
00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,733
so I came over here.
330
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:26,380
Mm, don't you think it's time
you two made up?
331
00:14:26,404 --> 00:14:27,804
No.
332
00:14:27,805 --> 00:14:30,306
No, actually.
I don't need his negative energy
333
00:14:30,308 --> 00:14:31,440
in my life right now.
334
00:14:31,442 --> 00:14:33,242
Standing up to him
was-was hard,
335
00:14:33,244 --> 00:14:36,512
but it made me realize
that I can do anything.
336
00:14:36,514 --> 00:14:39,682
And, yeah, it's a little sad,
but, you know,
337
00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:41,817
life is all about...
(cork pops)
338
00:14:42,987 --> 00:14:44,086
Uh, sorry.
339
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:46,755
I thought
you were wrapping things up.
340
00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:52,328
Hey, Howard.
Hey.
341
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:53,462
Where is everybody?
342
00:14:53,464 --> 00:14:55,164
I could ask you
the same question.
343
00:14:57,034 --> 00:15:00,236
Wow, this conversation
got mean fast.
344
00:15:00,238 --> 00:15:03,539
Sorry. I'm just
in a bad mood.
345
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:05,307
Yeah? What's going on?
346
00:15:05,309 --> 00:15:07,476
I had a falling out with Raj.
347
00:15:07,478 --> 00:15:09,278
He said I make fun
of him too much
348
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,380
and it's wrecked his confidence.
349
00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:13,983
Please, confidence is
like red blood cells--
350
00:15:13,985 --> 00:15:17,353
it's nice if you got some,
but you don't need 'em.
351
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:20,289
Yeah. I mean,
your life's a mess.
352
00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:23,158
I don't see you blaming
other people for it.
353
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,829
That's right. I grew up in a
loving, supportive household.
354
00:15:27,632 --> 00:15:30,699
This is all on me.
355
00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:34,803
Maybe I'll just hang out here
for a while.
356
00:15:34,805 --> 00:15:37,273
Great. And you can make
fun of me all you want.
357
00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:38,641
No, that's okay.
358
00:15:38,643 --> 00:15:40,175
No, no, no. Go on.
I can take it.
359
00:15:40,177 --> 00:15:42,578
My feelings,
like my extremities,
360
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:45,314
are basically numb.
361
00:15:47,952 --> 00:15:49,184
Here's your license.
362
00:15:49,186 --> 00:15:50,886
Now, if you wait
over there,
363
00:15:50,888 --> 00:15:52,554
we'll call you
when the officiant's ready.
364
00:15:52,556 --> 00:15:53,889
Do we need a blood test?
365
00:15:53,891 --> 00:15:55,524
No.
366
00:15:55,526 --> 00:15:57,966
Well, then, how will you know
whether or not we have syphilis?
367
00:16:00,564 --> 00:16:04,566
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say you don't have that.
368
00:16:06,904 --> 00:16:09,571
Okay, Sheldon, you officially
exceeded the number of times
369
00:16:09,573 --> 00:16:12,574
I hoped to hear the word
"syphilis" on my wedding day.
370
00:16:14,345 --> 00:16:15,944
I can't believe
we're doing this.
371
00:16:15,946 --> 00:16:18,447
I know. I'm
getting married.
372
00:16:18,449 --> 00:16:21,016
The new Star Wars
movie's coming out.
373
00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:23,752
We are really finishing
this year strong.
374
00:16:24,588 --> 00:16:27,523
Okay, but
of the two of tho...
375
00:16:27,525 --> 00:16:30,025
You know, I'm not even gonna
ask. I'm not gonna ask.
376
00:16:33,531 --> 00:16:36,765
Are you sad we're not
having a big party?
377
00:16:37,668 --> 00:16:40,069
I'm really not.
378
00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:43,806
I'm here with you.
It's perfect.
379
00:16:47,078 --> 00:16:48,777
Cooper-Fowler?
380
00:16:48,779 --> 00:16:50,112
You're up.
381
00:16:50,114 --> 00:16:51,914
(chuckles)
382
00:16:51,916 --> 00:16:53,649
Can you believe it?
383
00:16:53,651 --> 00:16:57,619
We're about to walk in that
door, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler,
384
00:16:57,621 --> 00:16:59,988
and walk out
as a married couple,
385
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,725
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.
386
00:17:05,796 --> 00:17:07,963
Wait.
387
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:10,999
I want to have
a first dance with you.
388
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,469
Right here?
389
00:17:13,471 --> 00:17:14,636
At our wedding.
390
00:17:14,638 --> 00:17:17,039
Th-This is
our wedding.
391
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:19,208
No.
392
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:21,910
I want a real wedding.
393
00:17:21,912 --> 00:17:23,912
Well...
(sighs)
394
00:17:23,914 --> 00:17:26,548
Sheldon, it was just
making us fight.
395
00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:29,017
I know. But, Amy,
396
00:17:29,019 --> 00:17:31,453
I never thought
I'd want to marry anyone.
397
00:17:31,455 --> 00:17:35,724
So the fact that I found you
is astonishing.
398
00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:39,361
It's-it's like finding
dark matter,
399
00:17:39,363 --> 00:17:40,763
except they're looking
for dark matter.
400
00:17:40,765 --> 00:17:42,531
I wasn't even looking for you.
401
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:46,335
S-So you're even better
than dark matter.
402
00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:48,337
(chuckles)
Sheldon.
403
00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:52,875
Plus, plus, you interact
with light, so I can see you.
404
00:17:52,877 --> 00:17:55,511
And, also, you don't account
for the missing mass
405
00:17:55,513 --> 00:17:58,147
in the universe. Oh, and...
Okay, I think
406
00:17:58,149 --> 00:18:00,783
you're getting caught up on the
ways I'm not like dark matter.
407
00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:02,451
Right. Sorry.
408
00:18:02,453 --> 00:18:06,155
But when you make
a discovery like this,
409
00:18:06,157 --> 00:18:08,657
you don't just take it down
to City Hall--
410
00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:10,626
you tell the whole world.
411
00:18:10,628 --> 00:18:13,462
And so I'll say it
in Latin or Klingon
412
00:18:13,464 --> 00:18:14,830
or-or smoke signals,
413
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:17,366
if-if that's not
cultural appropriation.
414
00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:18,233
It is.
415
00:18:18,235 --> 00:18:19,568
Okay, so not smoke signals.
416
00:18:21,071 --> 00:18:24,072
But I want
to do this right.
417
00:18:24,074 --> 00:18:26,341
(exhales)
418
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:27,676
Me, too.
419
00:18:28,913 --> 00:18:31,079
Let's go plan a wedding.
420
00:18:39,056 --> 00:18:41,290
You know, we did get dressed up
421
00:18:41,292 --> 00:18:43,959
and come all the way
to City Hall.
422
00:18:43,961 --> 00:18:45,761
What are you thinking?
423
00:18:45,763 --> 00:18:49,965
I have always wanted a permit
to dispose of hazardous waste.
424
00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:53,569
Let's do it.
425
00:19:00,971 --> 00:19:04,940
Do we know if there's life in
the methane plumes of Enceladus
426
00:19:04,942 --> 00:19:07,909
or under the icy surface
of Europa?
427
00:19:07,911 --> 00:19:12,214
Come back on Tuesday
for my next show to find out.
428
00:19:12,216 --> 00:19:15,283
Spoiler alert: we don't.
429
00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:18,787
I'm Dr. Rajesh
Koothrappali,
430
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:20,989
and thank you for
taking a walk with me
431
00:19:20,991 --> 00:19:23,291
through the stars.
432
00:19:25,462 --> 00:19:27,863
Wow. I never knew science
could be so interesting.
433
00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:30,332
Hey, I talk to you
about science all the time.
434
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:32,300
Oh, you sure do, sweetie.
435
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,904
Should we go
congratulate him?
436
00:19:35,906 --> 00:19:39,107
I'll do better than that-- I'll
give him constructive criticism.
437
00:19:39,109 --> 00:19:43,378
Here's some constructive
criticism: don't.
438
00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:48,149
- I'll catch up with you guys.
- Okay.
439
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:50,895
Raj, you were terrific!
440
00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:51,988
Oh, thank you.
I was so nervous,
441
00:19:51,989 --> 00:19:53,588
my armpits are like a swamp.
442
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:56,324
Oh, your hug just got
downgraded to a high five.
443
00:19:57,127 --> 00:19:59,461
(chuckles)
Your palms are sweaty, too.
444
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:02,230
Hey. What are you doing
all the way in the back?
445
00:20:02,232 --> 00:20:03,732
Hiding out.
446
00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:05,934
I wasn't sure if I was welcome.
447
00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:08,336
This is ridiculous.
You guys are best friends.
448
00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:10,005
Of course he wants you here.
449
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:13,275
You sure? He seems to be doing
pretty well without me.
450
00:20:13,277 --> 00:20:15,443
Look, he was just stressed out.
451
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:17,345
His life is not better
without you.
452
00:20:17,347 --> 00:20:18,880
Come on. Come say hi.
453
00:20:19,716 --> 00:20:21,283
Okay.
454
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:26,721
Dr. Koothrappali, I just wanted
to tell you that was amazing.
455
00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,723
Uh, counterpoint...
To the car.
456
00:20:30,093 --> 00:20:31,893
Can I ask you
a question?
457
00:20:31,895 --> 00:20:33,929
Of course you can.
Ooh, that went well.
458
00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:35,864
Ask me another.
459
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,634
I think
I'm just gonna go.
460
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,605
If there is life beneath
the surface of these planets,
461
00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,407
how would we even detect it?
462
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:47,842
Uh, that's
a complicated question.
463
00:20:47,844 --> 00:20:49,511
Let me start with a simpler one.
464
00:20:49,513 --> 00:20:51,413
Can I buy you a coffee?
465
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:54,249
A-Also a complicated question.
(chuckles nervously)
466
00:20:54,251 --> 00:20:56,818
Because I want to say yes,
but if I drink coffee this late,
467
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,119
then I'll be up all night.
468
00:20:58,121 --> 00:21:00,522
Decaf, genius.
(clears throat)
469
00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,090
I would love to.
470
00:21:04,092 --> 00:21:10,992
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man