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CAPTAIN KIRK: The Enterprise is preparing
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to leave Beta III in star system C-111.
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Sociologist Lindstrom
is remaining behind
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with a party of experts
who will help restore
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the planet's culture to a human form.
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SPOCK: The Late Landru, Captain.
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A marvelous feat of engineering.
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A computer capable
of directing the lives
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of millions of human beings.
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But only a machine, Mr. Spock.
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The original Landru programmed
it with all his knowledge,
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but he couldn't give it
his wisdom, his compassion,
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his understanding, his soul.
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I prefer the concrete, the
graspable, the provable.
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You'd make a splendid
computer, Mr. Spock.
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That is very kind of you, Captain.
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That's humorous, because Spock
is half human and half Vulcan.
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But he's ashamed of his human side.
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That's why I identify with him.
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Good luck.
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MEEMAW: I gravitate
a little more towards Kirk.
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Why?
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[IMITATING SHATNER]:
Be-cause... everything
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he says...
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he makes sound so im-portant.
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I should hope so... He's the captain.
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Sheldon.
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Do me a favor.
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Go help your brother study
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for his math test tomorrow.
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Is that really a good use of my time?
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Come on. I'm asking nice.
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If he doesn't pass, he won't
be able to play football.
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You realize he's often mean to me.
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So? Your mother's mean to
me. I still try to be helpful.
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Does she break wind on your head?
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Because that's what Georgie does to me.
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Can you help me out here?
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I'll do it if you take
me to the train store.
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You got it.
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And buy me whatever I want.
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Connie, what are you doing?
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[IMITATING SHATNER]:
Just providing my grandson
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with financial guidance.
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[QUIETLY]: Don't mock the captain.
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If Georgie passes his test,
I'll get you whatever you want...
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Under 20 bucks.
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Deal.
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Why?
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I guess I like him better than you.
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[KNOCKING] Georgie?
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- What?
- Dad told me
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to help you study for the math test.
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I don't need your help. Get lost.
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GEORGE SR.: Georgie, let him help you!
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Fine. Come in!
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[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
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Oh, dear.
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What's your problem?
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No problem. I'll just...
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tidy while we talk.
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Help yourself.
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Before we start, I'd like to get a sense
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- of how much algebra you know.
- 'Kay.
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Do you understand solving and graphing
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- linear inequalities?
- Sure.
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Great. Explain it to me.
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Uh...
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first you solve 'em...
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and then you graph 'em.
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And how do you do that?
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Uh, you know,
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carefully.
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Excuse me.
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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$20 isn't gonna do it.
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[CHUCKLES]
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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So you collect all
the terms linear in X.
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See? Simple.
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Maybe for you.
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No, it's simple for everybody.
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Now you collect all
the terms linear in Y.
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I don't get it.
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Try this. Close your eyes.
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- 'Kay.
- Can you see
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the slope of the line given
by the coefficients of X and Y?
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No.
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What do you see?
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Darkness.
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Try harder.
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Wait.
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I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini.
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Ooh, it just fell off.
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- Dad!
- I'll make it $40! Keep going!
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Maybe the problem is
you're not a good teacher.
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Unlikely. Regardless,
I am your only hope.
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What do you see when you close your eyes?
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I see quadrant one as red,
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quadrant two is soft and plush...
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[SNIFFS] quadrant three
smells like lavender,
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and quadrant four is overlaid
with a Fibonacci spiral.
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That's really weird.
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No. What's really weird
is doing simple algebra
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and thinking about a girl in a bikini.
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I disagree.
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Dad!
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GEORGE SR.: Keep going.
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SHELDON: And when you
divide by a negative number,
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you have to reverse the
direction of the inequality.
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I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
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But we're not done.
You're going to fail.
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I get enough of what
you said. I'll be fine.
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ADULT SHELDON: It was
at that moment I decided
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I was not cut out for teaching.
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I consoled myself with the knowledge
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that I was wonderful at everything else.
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♪ ♪
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Take one and pass it back.
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Take one and pass it back.
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As you all know, this test'll count
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for 25% of your final grade.
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Be sure to show all your work.
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If you get stuck on a question,
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move on and come back to it at the end.
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And I shouldn't have to say this,
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but if there's any
cheating, I will see it.
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I got eyes in the back of my head.
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I got more eyes than a potato.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Ms. Ingram?
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- Yeah, Sheldon.
- I'm done.
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What?
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I enjoyed it very much.
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I'll take another if you have one.
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No, I don't have another one.
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J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
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Oh, boy.
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ADULT SHELDON: Seeing my brother struggle
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was difficult for me.
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As his tutor, I took
his failure personally,
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almost as if I had failed.
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Which was odd, because
I knew how dumb he was.
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Georgie, how'd you do
on that math test today?
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It was tough.
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I don't know.
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I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
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Me, too.
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That's all right, baby, you tried.
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Yeah. It's okay, baby.
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I don't understand what went wrong.
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Is there any chance you drank alcohol
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when you were pregnant with Georgie?
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No!
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Well, don't be so high-and-mighty.
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I drank when I was pregnant with you.
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You turned out fine.
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These days everybody's like,
"Don't drink, don't smoke."
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I swear. Texas is
turning into California.
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You realize there's nothing
I can do if you fail.
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You're off the team.
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I know.
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Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus
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to help you get a good
grade on that test.
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Shouldn't you have asked
him before he took it?
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The man rose from the dead...
I think he can fix a test
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after the fact.
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You know, I hear you
say things like that,
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and I wonder if maybe I did
have a few too many whiskey sours
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when you were in my belly.
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[SIGHS, CLICKS TONGUE]
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Not me, but not bad.
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I would say "A" for effort,
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but... that's an "F."
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What? How bad is it?
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You got a "B."
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Are you kidding?
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I don't believe it.
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Me, neither.
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Me, neither.
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[WHISTLE BLOWS]
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So, I guess I have to
rethink my abilities.
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Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
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Georgie didn't pass because of you.
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What do you mean?
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He cheated.
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He had the answers written
on the bottom of his shoe.
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He wouldn't do that.
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When you cheat in school,
you only cheat yourself.
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Where'd you get that?
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An inspirational poster
outside the boys' room.
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I saw what I saw, Sheldon.
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Well, if this is true,
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he needs to turn himself in.
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That'll never happen. He'll
get kicked off the team.
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I'm sorry, I can't accept this.
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There must be another explanation.
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If you don't believe
me, look at his shoes.
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I will.
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[GRUNTING QUIETLY]
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[STRAINED GRUNT]
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This is quite a workout.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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[WHISPERS]: You dirty bird.
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What are you doing in here?
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00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:53,910
You cheated.
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00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,400
No, I didn't.
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I'm holding the evidence.
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00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,219
Let me see that.
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00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:03,800
[SPITS]
216
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,559
I don't see nothin'.
217
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,320
[GASPS]: That's obstruction of justice,
218
00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:11,139
as well as disgusting.
219
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:14,659
Oh, relax. By passing that
test, I get to play football,
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00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:16,729
and you get to go to the train store.
221
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,069
Everybody wins.
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00:09:18,070 --> 00:09:19,750
But what about the truth?
223
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,079
What about it?
224
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,269
It's supposed to set us free.
225
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,809
Who told you that?
226
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,279
The Bible.
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00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,019
Since when do you care
about what's in the Bible?
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00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,319
When it helps me win an argument.
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00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,540
The Bible also says honor
thy father and thy mother.
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00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:37,299
And if you open your mouth,
you're gonna make them sad.
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ADULT SHELDON: He had me.
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00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:42,570
Somehow, the mullet-headed
simpleton had me.
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This isn't over.
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00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:46,710
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
235
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All right, maybe it's over.
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00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,530
SHELDON: Meemaw?
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00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,369
I assume you've read the
Surgeon General's report
238
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:07,100
on the dangers of smoking?
239
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:09,659
I'm gonna wait till they
turn it into a movie.
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00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:11,229
Is that your new train?
241
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:15,259
Yes. It's my reward for helping
Georgie pass the math test.
242
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:17,529
You don't seem too happy about it.
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00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:19,769
I don't feel like I earned it.
244
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Why not?
245
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,869
Can you keep a secret?
246
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:25,939
Well, at my age, the question
is can I remember one.
247
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Try me.
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00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:31,249
[WHISPERS]: Georgie cheated on the test.
249
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,749
Oh.
250
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,320
And nothing bad happened.
251
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:35,780
He gets to stay on the football team,
252
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:37,159
Mom and Dad are proud of him,
253
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,689
I even got a train for helping.
254
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So you're feeling guilty.
255
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Very much so.
256
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:46,359
Well, that's a real conundrum.
257
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,670
Have you been reading the
Word of the Day calendar
258
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,299
I gave you for your birthday?
259
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,900
Indubitably. [CHUCKLES]
260
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,169
So what do you think?
261
00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:59,600
I don't think you should
let it bother you very much.
262
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,889
I mean, there's always
gonna be people in this world
263
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:04,940
who are playing fast
and loose with the rules.
264
00:11:04,950 --> 00:11:06,850
And your brother's one of them.
265
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,369
That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
266
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,080
Well, there you go, and he's,
like, the main guy on that show.
267
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:16,739
No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
268
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:19,609
I stand corrected.
269
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:23,799
Although Kirk is usually the one
who saves the Enterprise.
270
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,169
Because he doesn't
always follow the rules?
271
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:30,760
He even cheated on a
test when he was a cadet.
272
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,469
The Kobayashi Maru.
273
00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:33,330
The what?
274
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,369
Kobayashi Maru.
275
00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,270
Kirk is a legend because of it.
276
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,440
[CHUCKLES] Ko-Kobayashi Maru.
277
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:42,140
Sounds like something
you eat at Benihana's.
278
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:43,580
Have you ever been to one of those?
279
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:44,949
They make you sit with strangers.
280
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,220
It's crazy.
281
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:51,220
Do you think a Spock
could become a Kirk?
282
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,529
Well, in my experience,
283
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:55,959
most people stay the
miserable bastards they are
284
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,299
their whole entire life.
285
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,599
But...
286
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,990
I have seen some folks change.
287
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,770
Hmm.
288
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,509
All right. Well, I'm gonna
go play with this train.
289
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,150
You do that.
290
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,189
[SIGHS]
291
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,229
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
292
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,259
SHELDON: Georgie?
293
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,489
- Go away.
- I need to ask a favor.
294
00:12:31,490 --> 00:12:32,629
What?
295
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:34,699
It's private. Can I come in?
296
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,480
[SIGHS] Come on.
297
00:12:39,430 --> 00:12:41,290
Ugh.
298
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,790
What do you want?
299
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,409
It occurs to me you
have something in common
300
00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:46,930
with Captain Kirk.
301
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,500
We both have cool hair?
302
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:49,609
In order to succeed,
303
00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:52,219
you both play fast and
loose with the rules.
304
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,329
Yeah, I suppose we do.
305
00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:57,389
When you cheated on the math
test, what was your strategy?
306
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,789
Well, I guess the most important part
307
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:02,030
was not stepping on
anything wet before the test.
308
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,099
And not getting an "A."
309
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,029
Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
310
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,530
'Cause that would raise suspicions.
311
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,399
Who would believe I got an "A"?
312
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,900
Wow.
313
00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:13,500
Tell me more.
314
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:15,739
Okay, when you're telling a lie,
315
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,970
it's important to throw in some details.
316
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:20,349
Like, when I was wanted to
spend the night at Ricky's house,
317
00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:22,979
and Mom asked me if his mom
and dad were gonna be home,
318
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,049
I said, not only
319
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:25,589
are they be gonna be home,
320
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:26,880
his dad was gonna teach us
321
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,180
how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
322
00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:31,239
I like turkey legs. Were they good?
323
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,359
There weren't any turkey legs, you dope.
324
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,629
His parents were in Branson.
325
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:38,599
That's incredible. I
totally believed you.
326
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,969
Details.
327
00:13:39,970 --> 00:13:42,680
Now get out of here, I
got to finish reading this.
328
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,109
Thank you, Georgie,
that was very helpful.
329
00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,439
[MAN SPEAKING ON TV]
330
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,609
Did you hear that?
331
00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:50,690
What?
332
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,299
Sounds like Georgie and
Sheldon are getting along.
333
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,410
Really?
334
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,079
That can't be right.
335
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,209
I just heard it.
336
00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:59,480
Maybe there's hope for
those two after all.
337
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,789
Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.
338
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:04,419
Honey, I'm-I'm watching this.
339
00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:06,590
[EXHALES]
340
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,629
So you'll have to find someone else
341
00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:12,579
to hold your ankles in P.E. today.
342
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:14,079
I'm sorry, what?
343
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,010
I've suffered a terrible injury
and won't be able to attend.
344
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,339
What happened?
345
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:20,040
See for yourself.
346
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,689
"Dear Coach Wilkins, please
excuse my son, Sheldon,
347
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,039
from P.E.
348
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,249
He has experienced a testicular hernia,
349
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,080
and needs to rest for the
next six to eight weeks.
350
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:34,250
Sincerely, Mary Cooper."
351
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,519
Testicular hernia?
352
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,500
That's called details.
353
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,409
Ooh, that's rough.
354
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:44,529
Hmm.
355
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:45,560
How'd it happen?
356
00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:46,929
It's hard to say,
357
00:14:46,930 --> 00:14:50,469
but some risk factors include:
heavy lifting, a chronic cough
358
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:53,039
and repetitive straining
during bowel movements.
359
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,680
I've been there.
360
00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:56,449
Hmm. All right.
361
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:59,880
Guess I'll see you
in... six to eight weeks.
362
00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:05,160
["BAD TO THE BONE" BY
GEORGE THOROGOOD PLAYING]
363
00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,310
ADULT SHELDON: I don't
know if other supervillains
364
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,369
started their careers
by getting out of P.E.,
365
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,089
but that's where I began.
366
00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:15,729
Emboldened by my faux hernia,
367
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:18,379
I started taking books
out of the library...
368
00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:21,430
without getting the cards stamped.
369
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,099
You didn't check out those books.
370
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,539
I know.
371
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:26,669
Before you judge me too harshly,
372
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,739
I always brought them back on time.
373
00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:31,809
I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.
374
00:15:31,810 --> 00:15:34,779
But perhaps my most
satisfying transgression
375
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,680
was duping my sister
376
00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:39,820
into relinquishing control of the TV.
377
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:42,650
Hello.
378
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:44,659
What's that for?
379
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:48,459
Oh, this? I was just digging
for money in Meemaw's backyard.
380
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,259
There's money there?
381
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,860
Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
382
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,669
Who do you think left it?
383
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:56,399
If I were to guess,
384
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,500
I'd say pirates with
holes in their pockets.
385
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:00,869
Can I use your shovel?
386
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:03,339
Be my guest.
387
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,680
MISSY: Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.
388
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:12,049
Today, we're going to learn
about Sir Isaac Newton.
389
00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:13,849
Hello, old friend.
390
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,549
One of the world's
greatest scientists...
391
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:18,320
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
392
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:19,989
[GRUNTS]
393
00:16:19,990 --> 00:16:21,089
See you tomorrow, Wayne.
394
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,859
You have a good one, George.
395
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:24,560
Hey, how's your son doing?
396
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:25,829
Georgie?
397
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:28,799
No, the smart one.
398
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,439
He's fine. Why?
399
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,200
What about the hernia?
400
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:33,529
What hernia?
401
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,570
The one your wife said he had.
402
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,909
Happened to me while I was in the Army.
403
00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:44,919
I was in a bar in Georgia,
tried to lift up this big gal.
404
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,289
Swear I could hear
something pop down there.
405
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:48,819
Sheldon gave you this note?
406
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:50,050
Yeah.
407
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,459
I didn't write this.
408
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:52,759
You sure?
409
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,059
Looks like your handwriting.
410
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,549
It's got that little
swoopy thing going on.
411
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:56,559
I didn't write it.
412
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,240
And I think I'd know
if my son had a hernia.
413
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:02,390
So what, Sheldon forged a
letter to get out of P.E.?
414
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,999
Looks like it.
415
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,669
How about that.
416
00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:08,180
Don't be proud of him.
417
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:09,309
Can't help it.
418
00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:11,179
First time he ever seemed like my kid.
419
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,469
Do you have any idea
420
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,110
what's gotten into him?
421
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,479
I might.
422
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,080
Well?
423
00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:21,719
Have you ever heard of...
424
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,189
Mobokachi Kaboom?
425
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,400
Wait.
426
00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:28,859
Koshimaki Magoo.
427
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,080
Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.
428
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,199
"Dear Professor Proton,
429
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,069
I would very much like to meet you,
430
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:40,639
and I only have three weeks to live.
431
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,479
Please come visit me
here in Medford, Texas.
432
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,209
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
433
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:47,089
P.S. My Meemaw makes excellent brisket."
434
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,229
MARY: Sheldon.
435
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:50,190
Would you like to explain this note?
436
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:53,589
Well?
437
00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:55,850
I was trying to be more like Georgie.
438
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,259
That's a dumb idea.
439
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,959
We don't want Georgie
to be like Georgie.
440
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,860
Well, let me start by
saying how very sorry I am.
441
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:11,109
ADULT SHELDON: Despite my explanation
442
00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:13,939
that I was embracing my inner Kirk,
443
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:17,539
my mother had me make
amends for all my misdeeds.
444
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:19,309
Starting in the library,
445
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:22,909
where I had to reshelve
hundreds of books.
446
00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:25,510
Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.
447
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:30,119
The amends got worse when Coach
Wilkins made me climb the rope.
448
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,350
Lacking any upper body strength,
449
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,890
I hung there like a
salami in a deli window.
450
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:39,629
And finally, I had to
apologize to my meemaw,
451
00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:43,750
who was an unfortunate victim
of my sister's treasure hunt.
452
00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:50,160
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