Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
Here she is!
Ten fingers, ten toes.
Do we have a name for her yet?
Elena Maria Alvarez Riera Calderon Leytevidal Inclan.
- So that's a yes. - Yeah.
Can't believe they're letting us take her home.
Last time I changed her diaper, I left my watch in there.
I know. I heard her butt ticking and thought it was going to explode.
And then it did!
Since you're recovering from a C-section,
no intercourse for six weeks.
Six weeks?
Six weeks!
I don't know if I could wait six weeks.
Ooh. Yep, I can. I may never have sex again.
Sorry, I was told that this room was empty.
This is usually where I come to cry.
Oh, look at your beautiful baby!
Thank you.
They're so great at this age, before they can talk.
My girls, they're off in college.
That's nice.
Now my wife can yell at me in peace.
Everything's fine.
Are you one of our doctors?
If you are, how do we get a new one?
That's funny.
I'm Doctor Leslie Berkowitz. I'm a GP that works in the building.
But I love coming down to the maternity ward.
I find it so comforting.
Especially after I've lost a patient.
- Ugh, I'm so sorry. - Oh, don't worry.
He's very much alive. He just hates me.
And now, here come the tears again. I...
I'm just going to find a broom closet somewhere.
Everything's fine.
Wow.
Yeah, I pity the sorry-ass nurse that has to work for that guy.
- All right. You ready to go? - Wait. What about the car seat?
- I installed it perfectly. - Okay.
- Your father reinstalled it. - Of course.
And then your mother reinstalled it again.
And then they started arguing, and then they started making out.
When I left, they were salsa dancing in the parking lot.
You know what we need? A safe word.
For when our parents start invading our space.
We'll make it military so they don't understand.
- How about FUBAR? - Oh!
My mom'll think it's a Chinese nightclub.
Yes!
- Oh. Does it hurt? - A little. It's good.
If this one ever gives me lip, I'll say, "They sliced me open,
put all my organs on a plate just to get you out of me, so zip it."
I like this. You're the bad cop. Which means I'm the good cop.
I can't even imagine making this girl mad at me.
- Don't talk to me! - Calm down!
- You're totally overreacting. - Overreacting?
Hey, hey! What's going on here?
He's been lying about having a girlfriend.
Papito's gay too?
I will be the only woman he's ever loved?
Okay, I'm good.
No. The "P" in his phone was Papi.
He's been sneaking around and seeing him.
What? Your papi's back in the country? Since when?
About three weeks ago. He has a month off and he's staying with Tía.
You've been seeing him without telling me?
It's not as bad as it sounds.
I knew you wouldn't like it, so I made up a girlfriend,
then met Papi in secret so you wouldn't find out.
No, that's as bad as it sounds.
Papito, you're making me side with Elena, and it's very upsetting.
I'm not upset because you saw your father.
You should be able to see your father.
I'm upset because you lied to me.
Papi said it was easier this way. You all hate him, so why make trouble?
- This way everybody's happy. - We are not happy!
I should be smothering you with kisses right now, but instead I am frowning.
Ay, my lips are so confused!
I thought you had my back.
You know what he did, but I guess you're fine with it, huh?
- Elena... - I will never forgive you for this.
What are we supposed to do, Mom? Ignore him forever?
I have not spoken to my sister Mirtha for over 20 years.
What she did was unforgivable!
You don't remember what it was, do you?
She knows what she did.
Mirtha says she returned the mantilla, but I know she stole it.
I will never forget this as long as I live!
Ay, mi vida, it is a piece of lace. We will get you a new one.
Pero, Berto, this shawl is from Spain!
It belonged to my abuelita who stole it from her abuelita's sister.
Mi amor. Put away your anger.
Let's focus on our beautiful granddaughter,
and enjoy seeing our Lupita in the glow of motherhood.
I may have just peed.
Anyway, I'm sorry I was gone so long. I fell asleep in the lobby.
Bueno, I cannot believe you took Elena out in public looking like that.
Mami, for the last time, a baby does not need earrings.
It is embarrassing! How will they know it's a girl?
Perhaps the pink bow, pink blanket, pink cross around her neck...
And the earrings tie it all together!
It only takes two minutes to pierce one ear.
It takes six minutes to pierce the other because they know what's coming.
- Get me a piece of ice and a safety pin. - Papi, no!
Wassup?
You guys are Mexican, right? I recognize the lingo.
Actually, we're Cuban, Sugar Ray.
I love Cuba! I've been there four times. You guys get back a lot?
No, we were forced to flee our homeland.
Respect.
Who are you?
Schneider, property manager. Here are your keys.
Now don't get attached, job's just temporary.
My father owns the building.
Yeah, I'm just doing him a solid. I'm really a musician.
Play a lot of rap-rock-ska. I'm like a male Gwen Stefani.
A Glen Stefani.
How intriguing!
- May I ask, do you speak Spanish? - Not a word.
Ah.
I'm going to make sure we got all your boxes from the truck.
Oh, cool baby! Wow. How old is the little guy?
She is five weeks old...
...and awake again. Will someone tell my precious angel to go to sleep?
I don't know why,
but every time I put a dress on her, she spits up!
So...
you're a single mom?
Happily married to my husband who just got out of the army.
Yeah, I'm seeing somebody too.
We both just got out of the army.
My husband is starting up a security business with some of his buddies.
I'm going back to medical school to become a doctor.
Why am I telling you all these things? I'm so tired.
You just had a baby.
Ooh. Word to the wise. When you're hiring a nanny,
make sure she's not too hot. That's how I met my fifth mom.
So nice of you to stop by!
- Anyway, okay. - Okay.
Yeah, hiring a stranger to watch my kid would bring shame to my people, so...
Okay, but I had four nannies and look at the results.
I promise you, that bobo will never set foot in this apartment again.
Ay, Mami, Mami, is she sleeping?
Yes.
Caballero, por favor, let me.
Oye, chico, I got it.
I just got out of the army. I'm strong.
I escaped Cuba. I am stronger.
Yeah, you're both very macho.
Can you put the box of pillows over there, please?
Hey. I just talked to Brian and business is heating up.
- Good. - This cell phone was a great investment.
Plus, I look cool.
Did the nurse say six weeks? 'Cause now it's seven.
Okay, I think we're good.
You guys can head home.
Hey, wait, this box says "Lydia's clothes" on it.
"Box one of 13"?
It's time to talk. Um...
Your mami and I have a proposal.
We're moving in with you.
What?
Mi vida, you have to put it in the form of a question
so they think it's their decision.
Oh, of course. I am so sorry.
Are we moving in with you? Yes.
It's not enough that we're close by. You need Double A, 24/7.
- "Double A"? - Abuelito and Abuelita.
You are so clever.
FUBAR!
Okay, I mean, we could convert the dining room into a bedroom.
- Put up a curtain. - What?
A curtain? Never!
A curtain is just a wall with no self-respect.
- You can take the bedroom next to ours. - Victor, stop talking!
What are you doing? They can't move in with us!
And they definitely can't move into the bedroom next to ours, okay?
They are very affectionate!
Okay...
Look. We said all that before we realized how hard this was.
I'm opening a business. You're going to medical school.
Look how tired you are!
I just have my eyes closed so I don't have to see that.
Hey. What's the big deal? We're Cuban.
Literally everybody we know who has a baby lives with their parents.
'Cause I just wanted to be the first, you know?
Like the first Cubans to go to the Moon.
It's never happened before!
This will help us get on our feet, okay? It's an investment in our future.
Okay.
But we are not living with them, they are living with us.
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
Hey, Double A's.
We have decided that you can move in with us.
A toast.
To you, Victor, my darling Lupita...
my sweet angel Elena.
Truly, today is the first day of the rest of your lives.
Gracias, Papi.
- Salud. - Salud.
And I promise we will stay out of your hair
and we will respect your boundaries.
- Gracias, Mami. - Mm-hmm.
Did you pierce Elena's ears?
She didn't even cry.
She was one tough baby.
I want to be mad,
- but she looks so cute. - Yeah.
She looks so cute.
Okay, so I'm guessing you've figured out I've seen Alex a couple of times.
You thought it was okay to go behind my back and see him?
I'm sure you would have liked it if I cleared it with you,
but I'm only in town for a little while.
In my defense, I didn't think I'd get caught.
Victor, cut the crap and explain yourself.
It was just easier this way, okay?
You don't want to see me, I don't want to see you,
I got to see Alex.
He can't be sneaking around on me. He's my son.
He's my son too. I have a right to see him.
You do. You also have a right to see your daughter.
She's not my biggest fan right now.
- Gee, why do you think that? - I know what I did. I was mad!
But I told you to keep this gay... whatever thing between us!
You parade her in front of my family and friends in a suit?
Come on. You were telling everybody.
I am not going to explain to you why all of that is so wrong.
Good. I already heard it from Alex.
Well, good for him.
But even if you still have issues with me, what?
You're just never gonna talk to your daughter again?
Of course I will.
When? Because it's been almost a year.
I don't understand what happened.
Back when she was a baby,
I have never seen a person love someone so much.
All right. This isn't working out. How about "Bootylicious"?
Oh, my God, babe. Have you heard of this thing called sleep?
After you do it, you're not tired. Big fan. Highly recommend it.
Yeah.
And there's coffee too? I can get used to this.
Buenos días, Lupe!
Well, now I don't need the coffee.
I just discovered this. It is fantastic.
It makes everything so...
dramatic!
- I'm glad you're happy. - I'm more than happy, Lupe.
This apartment is heaven. I will never leave.
I like this thing too.
Let me get her. She must be hungry.
Okay.
- All right, yeah. - Okay.
I'll get breakfast too. Although that looks good.
Yeah. I'm real sexy right now. Get out of here.
Okay,
you eat, while Mommy finds out where in the world is Matt Lauer.
...from Boston to Los Angeles,
but we're just getting initial reports of that.
Again, we must tell you we're trying to get as much information
but it is trickling in at a very slow pace.
So all of this is unconfirmed.
And, of course, speculation of a terrorist attack is unconfirmed,
although that is what some Pentagon officials are saying.
Babe, come here.
- What's wrong? - Look at what's happening in New York.
Let's go to President Bush.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a difficult moment for America.
I, unfortunately, will be going back to Washington...
None of us will ever forget this day.
Yet we go forward to defend freedom...
and all that is good and just in our world.
Thank you, good night, and God bless America.
- Lupe, can I talk to you? - Yeah.
I spoke to Brian earlier.
- Does he know anything? - No, but he's re-enlisting.
Oh.
All right, you can run the business by yourself.
Lupe, I'm re-enlisting too.
Yeah. I have to.
I get what you're feeling, babe, and I'm feeling it too,
but we had a plan.
Finish our service, get our careers going, and then start our family.
I know. That was yesterday.
All the training, and the drills, and the sacrifice...
That was in case something like this happens.
- We have a five-week-old daughter. - Yes, and she is why I'm doing this.
Look, she's so pure, and innocent, and perfect.
There's no way I'm gonna let her grow up in a world where that happens.
If this turns into war, you're infantry. And then you could...
Baby, baby, baby. I have a responsibility...
to protect her future and her freedom.
That's what a soldier does.
And that's what a father does. Okay?
Then, I'm going to re-enlist too.
- No, you don't have to do that. - I know. But I want to.
We'll move back on post somewhere.
It's the best chance for all of us to be together.
Hopefully, this doesn't turn into anything.
But you're right.
We need to do this.
I don't think I can tell them.
I get it, but they'll understand.
They had parents that had to make difficult decisions
so they could be free.
We're doing the same for Elena.
It's all about her.
Who knows where you and I might be if...
I think about that every day.
- Elena. - Elena...
No. It's my turn.
You know, I've thought a lot about what happened,
and I'll spare you the details about the anger, and the crying,
and the weight loss,
and the empty space on my wall where your picture used to be.
'Cause I've decided that there's no point in focusing on the negatives.
I'd rather think about the good things that came from this. Like, um...
You taught me a really valuable lesson.
Just because I'm gay, people will hate me without knowing anything else about me.
I always knew that was part of the deal.
I just... I never expected it from my own father.
But now I know not to expect the best from anyone.
So, thanks, I guess.
Oh, and one more thing. I learned some really cool stuff about myself.
Like I'm tough. I'm really tough.
And when I do stumble,
I have the most amazing mom who is always right there to pick me up.
So whatever, dude. I'm moving on with my life. I'm gonna be fine.
I'm just really bummed out for you.
You're gonna miss stuff. And that sucks.
'Cause I'm pretty great.
Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
I'm sorry.
- Abuelita, are there batteries in here? - Hmm?
What is this? Some kind of shawl?
No! No!
It is not a long-lost mantilla from Spain that nearly ripped the family apart!
I should call Mirtha.
Meh.
- Alex... - What'd I do now?
Everything.
We just saw your papi.
He said you were trying to mend things between him and your sister.
Yeah. I guess I did that.
Building bridges.
You know, Papi even said you called him a typical cisgender male.
I couldn't be more proud.
So, is everything cool with you guys now?
Mmm... I don't know if we're cool, but we're talking. That's a start.
Come here.
Can everybody stop hugging me?
Sí, back away. I haven't had my turn. Dámelo.
My whole life has been your turn!
You better get used to this.
I love you, dumdum!
See, this makes me so happy.
I couldn't stand seeing you mad at each other.
You've always been so close.
Hey.
Meet your new baby brother.
Alejandro Alberto Alvarez Riera Calderon Leytevidal Inclan.
I hate him!
I don't want a baby brother! I want a puppy!
Well, she better get used to it. We're not getting a puppy.