1
00:00:10,981 --> 00:00:13,348
Howie? Howie, wake up.
2
00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:14,649
It's time.
3
00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:16,318
Oh. Did your water break?
4
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,819
No.
5
00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:19,721
Are you feeling
any contractions?
6
00:00:19,723 --> 00:00:21,656
No.
7
00:00:21,658 --> 00:00:23,291
Wait. Well,
where are you going?
8
00:00:23,293 --> 00:00:24,659
To the hospital.
9
00:00:24,661 --> 00:00:28,530
Today's my due date,
and this crap needs to end now.
10
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:33,068
Honey, babies don't
always come on their due date.
11
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,470
Halley was two weeks late.
12
00:00:36,373 --> 00:00:38,774
But this baby's a boy.
13
00:00:38,776 --> 00:00:40,876
They don't take
as long to get ready.
14
00:00:42,045 --> 00:00:43,645
What are you doing?
15
00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:46,081
I'm making the situation
better with humor.
16
00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:48,550
Are you?
17
00:00:49,653 --> 00:00:52,587
Would you rather me
make it better with magic?
18
00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:55,323
- Go back to sleep.
- Ta-da!
19
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,834
You know, I hear
that sex can induce labor.
20
00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:08,003
Anything for my family.
21
00:01:09,306 --> 00:01:12,941
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
22
00:01:12,943 --> 00:01:16,278
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
23
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,813
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
24
00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:20,549
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
25
00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:23,118
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
26
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,787
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
27
00:01:25,789 --> 00:01:27,689
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
28
00:01:27,691 --> 00:01:27,758
♪ Bang! ♪
29
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:31,759
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x16 ♪
The Neonatal Nomenclature
Original Air Da
30
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,060
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
31
00:01:34,124 --> 00:01:36,519
I believe today is
Bernadette's due date.
32
00:01:36,521 --> 00:01:37,987
Yeah.
33
00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:39,189
How do you know that?
34
00:01:39,191 --> 00:01:42,659
Easy. 40 weeks from the date
of her last period.
35
00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:46,396
And why do you know that?
36
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,599
Well, excuse me for taking
an interest in people.
37
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,635
So, any day now.
38
00:01:52,637 --> 00:01:53,937
Oh, I don't know.
39
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:55,271
We went to the doctor
this morning,
40
00:01:55,273 --> 00:01:57,540
and she said it could still
be another week or two.
41
00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:59,509
How's Bernadette holding up?
42
00:01:59,511 --> 00:02:01,477
It's pretty rough.
43
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:04,280
She's having a hard time.
44
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,383
Why are you smiling?
45
00:02:07,385 --> 00:02:10,086
I had sex twice
last night.
46
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,888
That's not fair!
She's on bed rest.
47
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:13,690
She can't run away.
48
00:02:13,692 --> 00:02:15,692
It was her idea.
49
00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,660
She read that it
can start labor.
50
00:02:17,662 --> 00:02:19,128
Hmm. Is that true?
51
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:20,463
Well, I would have Googled it,
52
00:02:20,465 --> 00:02:22,899
but I was busy
taking my pants off.
53
00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:27,270
Yeah, not to brag, but
Amy's last birthday
54
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,639
brought my coital tally
up to four.
55
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,909
Whatever you're doing,
it's not bragging.
56
00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:35,478
- Hey, guys.
- Hey. - Hey.
57
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,779
- Hey.
- Hey, I was just
58
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:37,847
talking about you.
59
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,215
Oh, should I ask?
60
00:02:39,217 --> 00:02:41,317
You should not.
61
00:02:41,319 --> 00:02:43,653
I'm trying to get
our grant proposal together.
62
00:02:43,655 --> 00:02:45,221
Any chance you've finished up
those mechanical drawings?
63
00:02:45,223 --> 00:02:47,156
Oh, sorry.
I was gonna do it last night,
64
00:02:47,158 --> 00:02:48,391
but I got kind of busy.
65
00:02:48,393 --> 00:02:50,460
Yeah, you did.
66
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,596
What are they talking about?
67
00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:54,864
I'll give
you a hint.
68
00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:57,934
It's something
that we have done four times.
69
00:02:57,936 --> 00:02:59,636
Watched La La Land?
70
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,272
What? No. No.
71
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:04,607
I've not watched
La La Land four times.
72
00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:06,576
If you find the
soundtrack on my phone,
73
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:09,212
that's just 'cause
our iTunes accounts are linked.
74
00:03:10,348 --> 00:03:12,015
Looks like I might have
a little more time
75
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,283
before the baby gets here,
76
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:15,151
so why don't we just stay late
and get it done?
77
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,453
Well, I don't want you
to leave Bernadette alone.
78
00:03:17,455 --> 00:03:19,255
Oh, we can hang out
and keep her company.
79
00:03:19,257 --> 00:03:21,658
- Yeah, absolutely.
- See, see. Look at my Netflix queue.
80
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,625
There's two documentaries
81
00:03:22,627 --> 00:03:24,193
and the movie
Friends with Benefits,
82
00:03:24,195 --> 00:03:25,662
which I thought
was a documentary
83
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,264
about employer
health care plans.
84
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,568
Hey, Bernie, it's me.
85
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:34,470
I let myself in.
86
00:03:34,472 --> 00:03:37,073
Hey.
87
00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:38,241
What are you doing?
88
00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:40,410
I thought you were supposed
to be on bed rest.
89
00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:42,045
That's done,
but I've been on stair rest
90
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,746
for the last 45 minutes.
91
00:03:43,748 --> 00:03:45,648
Here, let me help you.
Yeah.
92
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:47,984
If you really want to help,
put on a rubber glove,
93
00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:50,386
reach on up there
and start pulling.
94
00:03:50,388 --> 00:03:52,588
I know you're joking,
but I grew up on a farm.
95
00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:53,589
I'll do it.
96
00:03:53,591 --> 00:03:56,092
Oh, I just want
this to be over.
97
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:58,161
You know, when
my yoga instructor was pregnant,
98
00:03:58,163 --> 00:04:00,096
she told me
there are tons of poses
99
00:04:00,098 --> 00:04:01,497
that put her right into labor.
100
00:04:01,499 --> 00:04:02,832
I'll try,
101
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:06,235
but I feel like bendy poses
are what got me into this mess.
102
00:04:07,672 --> 00:04:11,007
Okay, we're gonna start with
some nice breathing exercises.
103
00:04:12,911 --> 00:04:17,313
Sorry. I can't think of anything
except how flat your belly is.
104
00:04:17,315 --> 00:04:19,148
Oh, thank you.
105
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:21,918
Go put on some more clothes,
you bitch.
106
00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:30,226
Okay, we go down...
107
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,428
and back up.
108
00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:37,734
And back up!
109
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,036
Yeah, hearing you
is not the problem.
110
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,440
Put that phone away!
111
00:04:44,442 --> 00:04:45,608
Smile.
112
00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:50,346
I'm telling you,
there's an acupressure point
113
00:04:50,348 --> 00:04:53,316
right above your ankle
that can induce contractions.
114
00:04:53,318 --> 00:04:55,184
All right, but
just a warning.
115
00:04:55,186 --> 00:04:56,786
My feet are a little swollen.
116
00:04:56,788 --> 00:04:58,187
Oh, please, Bernadette.
117
00:04:58,189 --> 00:05:00,490
I'm sure this-- okay.
118
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,959
What?
119
00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:06,329
Nothing. Your ankles look fine,
and not at all
120
00:05:06,331 --> 00:05:09,031
like I just popped open
a can of crescent rolls.
121
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,669
My mother believes that if
you're not prepared mentally,
122
00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:15,872
it can delay your body
from going into labor.
123
00:05:15,874 --> 00:05:18,241
So what are you trying to say?
It's my fault?
124
00:05:19,744 --> 00:05:22,378
Raj is crazy.
125
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:24,480
Your ankles aren't that gross.
126
00:05:29,354 --> 00:05:31,320
Hello.
127
00:05:31,322 --> 00:05:34,424
Let me guess. You're here to
try to get me to go into labor.
128
00:05:34,426 --> 00:05:37,393
Oh, please. I'm disgusted
when people sneeze,
129
00:05:37,395 --> 00:05:39,796
and that's just stuff
coming out of their nose.
130
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,031
No.
131
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:44,967
I am here to sit with you
and keep you company.
132
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,402
Oh, that's nice.
133
00:05:46,404 --> 00:05:49,372
Yeah, by playing
the most complicated board game
134
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:53,743
ever invented:
Campaign for North Africa.
135
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:55,311
I bought it off eBay.
136
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:58,614
It smells a little like chili,
but all the pieces are there.
137
00:06:00,251 --> 00:06:02,118
Come on, baby.
138
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,221
Get out here right now
and I'll buy you a pony.
139
00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:10,726
Are there any engineers
on the grant committee?
140
00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,395
I don't know. Why?
141
00:06:12,397 --> 00:06:13,896
I didn't have time to figure out
142
00:06:13,898 --> 00:06:15,164
the three-input
hydraulic manifold,
143
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,400
so this diagram is really just
a flux capacitor
144
00:06:17,402 --> 00:06:19,135
from Back to the Future.
145
00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:22,505
I'm sorry this is
on such short notice.
146
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,141
Hey, I just wish I could be
there when you present it.
147
00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:26,576
That's okay.
148
00:06:26,578 --> 00:06:28,778
It's more important that
you spend time with Michael.
149
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,947
Who's Michael?
150
00:06:32,116 --> 00:06:33,149
Uh, your son?
151
00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:34,951
No, it's not.
152
00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:37,153
My son doesn't have a name yet.
153
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,125
Okay, well, then,
Bernadette's son.
154
00:06:44,996 --> 00:06:46,362
I can't believe her.
155
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,532
She knows I don't want
to name the baby after her dad.
156
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,868
- What did you want to name him?
- I don't know.
157
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,203
We were gonna wait until
we saw what he looked like.
158
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,138
Well, it's a baby.
159
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:57,673
Her dad's
a wrinkly bald man.
160
00:06:57,675 --> 00:06:59,809
That wasn't gonna
break your way.
161
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,320
Ah, come on!
162
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:16,692
Welcome to the next five to
eight weeks of your life.
163
00:07:16,694 --> 00:07:19,295
Sheldon, I said
I didn't want to play your game.
164
00:07:19,297 --> 00:07:21,731
Well, then don't
think of it as a game.
165
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,065
Think of it
166
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,001
as a source of information
167
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:28,671
about one of the lesser known
campaigns of World War II.
168
00:07:28,673 --> 00:07:30,406
You're right.
169
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,375
That's so much better.
170
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,343
I know, right?
171
00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:37,547
Okay, first, we need to roll
to determine the weather.
172
00:07:37,549 --> 00:07:40,683
It's a desert.
Isn't it gonna be hot?
173
00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:57,767
Yes.
174
00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:03,806
Michael? Really, you think
we're naming him Michael?
175
00:08:03,808 --> 00:08:05,441
Not now, Howard.
176
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,411
I'm in the middle of a game.
177
00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:11,747
You wish. You are hundreds
of hours away from the middle.
178
00:08:17,338 --> 00:08:20,973
I can't believe you're trying
to hijack our son's name.
179
00:08:21,198 --> 00:08:23,765
Bernie?
180
00:08:24,768 --> 00:08:27,969
This is as fast
as I move! Calm down!
181
00:08:35,746 --> 00:08:37,679
So you're just gonna
name him Michael?
182
00:08:37,681 --> 00:08:39,547
Were you even
gonna tell me?
183
00:08:39,549 --> 00:08:40,949
I told you.
184
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:42,517
When?
185
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:45,320
Oh, right. That was Amy.
186
00:08:46,757 --> 00:08:49,424
What's wrong with Michael?
It's my dad's name.
187
00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:52,827
I don't want to name our son
after your father.
188
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:58,733
I didn't want to say
this, but he's dying.
189
00:08:58,735 --> 00:09:01,236
He is?
190
00:09:01,238 --> 00:09:04,739
Eventually. I mean, you
see the way the man eats.
191
00:09:05,809 --> 00:09:07,709
Okay, is this the hormones,
192
00:09:07,711 --> 00:09:10,245
or have you always been
a lunatic?
193
00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:12,747
I don't even know anymore.
194
00:09:14,618 --> 00:09:16,851
Bernie, this is our kid's name.
195
00:09:16,853 --> 00:09:20,121
I think we should both agree.
196
00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:22,390
You're right. We
both made this baby.
197
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:24,392
Thank you.
198
00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:26,294
And I carried it, had to
stay in bed for four months,
199
00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:27,662
sacrificed my body and my job,
200
00:09:27,664 --> 00:09:29,631
and soon it's gonna
burst its way out of me
201
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:32,400
like the Kool-Aid Man.
202
00:09:32,402 --> 00:09:35,103
Exactly. Fifty-fifty.
203
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,842
I think I got
Bernadette in trouble.
204
00:09:40,844 --> 00:09:41,876
Maybe we should go.
205
00:09:41,878 --> 00:09:43,111
I-I can't.
206
00:09:43,113 --> 00:09:45,413
She and I are playing
Campaign for North Africa.
207
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,551
She doesn't want to play that.
Hmm?
208
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:51,886
Neither did the Egyptians,
but that didn't stop Rommel.
209
00:09:53,123 --> 00:09:56,091
Hey! I brought Chinese.
210
00:09:56,093 --> 00:09:58,293
And I brought Indian.
211
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:01,529
What are you guys
doing here?
212
00:10:01,531 --> 00:10:02,497
Sheldon texted and said
213
00:10:02,499 --> 00:10:04,199
Bernadette wanted us all
to come over.
214
00:10:07,437 --> 00:10:11,039
The game's best with
five to ten players.
215
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,144
Okay, if it's not Michael, then
what do you want to name him?
216
00:10:16,146 --> 00:10:19,314
Harry, like Potter or Houdini.
217
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:22,384
It doesn't bother you that
I have an old boyfriend
218
00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:23,618
named Harry?
219
00:10:24,421 --> 00:10:26,688
Okay.
220
00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:29,724
How 'bout Al or Max or...
221
00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:31,893
Ted or Kevin?
222
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:33,561
Same answer.
223
00:10:34,598 --> 00:10:36,297
Hey, Bernadette,
it's your turn.
224
00:10:36,299 --> 00:10:37,499
Penny's air force
225
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:40,802
is strafing
your supply line in Tobruk.
226
00:10:40,804 --> 00:10:42,103
We're kind of busy.
227
00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:44,773
Oh. 'Kay.
But you're being pretty rude.
228
00:10:44,775 --> 00:10:47,208
Everyone did come over
to play this game with you.
229
00:10:49,946 --> 00:10:53,148
You know, I always thought
Christian was a nice name.
230
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,149
I don't know.
231
00:10:54,151 --> 00:10:57,886
Sounds a little
too uncircumcised.
232
00:10:58,855 --> 00:11:00,321
Bernadette, it's your turn.
233
00:11:00,323 --> 00:11:01,289
What about Greg?
234
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,791
All right,
I'll just roll for you.
235
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:06,294
Ooh! That is a good one!
236
00:11:06,296 --> 00:11:08,696
Your troops' morale rating
is pretty high.
237
00:11:08,698 --> 00:11:10,432
Now, Leonard, as the defender,
238
00:11:10,434 --> 00:11:12,500
we need to subtract
your morale rating
239
00:11:12,502 --> 00:11:13,902
from Bernadette's
to get a final
240
00:11:13,904 --> 00:11:15,703
adjusted morale rating
for the assault.
241
00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:18,740
And I will just check
the assault differential column.
242
00:11:18,742 --> 00:11:21,743
Ooh! Who said war was hell?
243
00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:23,845
Yeah, that's
a rhetorical question.
244
00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:25,647
Sherman said it.
245
00:11:25,649 --> 00:11:26,648
What about Sherman?
246
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,550
Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
247
00:11:28,552 --> 00:11:32,120
Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna
take his mother to prom.
248
00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:35,323
Hey, Howard,
you did that, right?
249
00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:39,227
I didn't take her.
She chaperoned.
250
00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:42,397
We slow-danced once.
251
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,200
What about Paul?
252
00:11:45,202 --> 00:11:48,169
Paul. Paul Wolowitz.
253
00:11:48,171 --> 00:11:49,671
I like it.
254
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:51,639
Ooh, like "Koothra-Paul-i."
255
00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:55,510
Okay, you ruined it.
256
00:11:56,713 --> 00:11:59,380
All right, that moves us on
to the tactical shipping phase.
257
00:11:59,382 --> 00:12:02,383
Penny, I believe, as
logistics commander, that's you.
258
00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:05,520
Okay. I surrender.
259
00:12:05,522 --> 00:12:07,021
Nice try, Penny.
260
00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:09,090
It takes more
than everybody not enjoying it
261
00:12:09,092 --> 00:12:11,493
to stop a game
with Sheldon Cooper.
262
00:12:12,762 --> 00:12:14,596
Sheldon, we're talking
about something important here.
263
00:12:14,598 --> 00:12:15,964
Fine.
264
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:18,500
If you pick a baby name,
can we get back to playing?
265
00:12:18,502 --> 00:12:19,300
Sure.
266
00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:20,435
All right, here we go.
267
00:12:20,437 --> 00:12:21,970
Ranatanata.
268
00:12:24,407 --> 00:12:26,341
You can't name him Ranatanata.
269
00:12:26,343 --> 00:12:28,576
Oh, right, it's a boy.
That'd be ridiculous.
270
00:12:29,513 --> 00:12:31,646
What about Ozymandias?
271
00:12:31,648 --> 00:12:35,783
Are you making these up
or having a stroke?
272
00:12:35,785 --> 00:12:39,320
Ozymandias is from a poem
by Percy Bysshe Shelley.
273
00:12:39,322 --> 00:12:41,289
Oh, oh! Bysshe Wolowitz.
274
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,891
Solved. Back to the game.
275
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:46,394
Heyo! Sandstorm!
276
00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:50,598
Some people name their
kids after places.
277
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,568
Like what, Walla
Walla Wolowitz?
278
00:12:55,505 --> 00:12:58,540
If you think that is better
than Ozymandias Wolowitz,
279
00:12:58,542 --> 00:13:00,108
then you have been breathing in
the poisonous gas
280
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,976
that my troops
illegally dispersed.
281
00:13:01,978 --> 00:13:03,545
Ooh!
282
00:13:03,547 --> 00:13:04,779
You okay?
283
00:13:04,781 --> 00:13:06,447
Uh, I think that was
a contraction.
284
00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:09,450
Is it time? Do we need
to go to the hospital?
285
00:13:09,452 --> 00:13:10,485
No. We've been
through this before.
286
00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:12,554
My water
hasn't even broken yet.
287
00:13:12,556 --> 00:13:13,755
Never mind your water.
288
00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:16,191
Has your mucus plug popped out?
289
00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,326
Ew, no!
290
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,460
Oh, you're right.
291
00:13:19,462 --> 00:13:21,496
We probably would've heard that.
292
00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:22,697
It's not a champagne cork.
293
00:13:22,699 --> 00:13:26,768
Although that
would be festive.
294
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:28,269
You know what,
maybe we should go.
295
00:13:28,271 --> 00:13:30,004
Did you have
another contraction?
296
00:13:30,006 --> 00:13:31,606
No. I'm just worried
that Sheldon's gonna say
297
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:33,942
"mucus plug" again.
298
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:37,679
And I'm worried
one's gonna hit me in the eye.
299
00:13:37,681 --> 00:13:38,680
Yep, it's time.
300
00:13:38,682 --> 00:13:40,215
Should we take
two cars?
301
00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:42,250
Uh, actually, could you
stay here and watch Halley?
302
00:13:42,252 --> 00:13:44,352
That way we don't have to wait
for Bernadette's parents.
303
00:13:44,354 --> 00:13:45,553
Yeah, you guys go.
We'll take care of her.
304
00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:47,522
You have nothing
to worry about.
305
00:13:47,524 --> 00:13:49,958
Well, not nothing.
There are U-boats approaching
306
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,393
the Suez Canal.
307
00:13:52,395 --> 00:13:53,962
It's too late for us.
Go, go!
308
00:13:53,964 --> 00:13:56,130
Save yourselves!
309
00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,268
Suez? Birth?
It's a big night for canals.
310
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:06,241
How you feeling?
311
00:14:06,243 --> 00:14:07,508
Eh.
312
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:11,112
But I am really excited
to meet our son.
313
00:14:11,114 --> 00:14:13,948
Me, too. I thought
I'd be super freaked out.
314
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:17,252
But I'm ready for this.
315
00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:19,487
Well, not the part
where you're in labor
316
00:14:19,489 --> 00:14:22,557
and you squeeze my fingers
till they turn blue.
317
00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:24,092
I'm sorry.
318
00:14:24,094 --> 00:14:27,795
That must be
really painful for you.
319
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:29,797
It is.
320
00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:31,266
I mean, last time, I...
321
00:14:31,268 --> 00:14:32,267
Okay,
322
00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,102
I see what you're doing.
323
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:37,338
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
324
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:38,906
It's a big one.
325
00:14:38,908 --> 00:14:40,875
Just breathe.
326
00:14:40,877 --> 00:14:43,811
Okay.
327
00:14:43,813 --> 00:14:46,114
Okay, I'm good.
328
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:50,351
I'm sorry I tried
to sneak the name past you.
329
00:14:50,353 --> 00:14:51,552
That's okay.
330
00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:55,423
I'm sorry I used up
so many good names in college.
331
00:14:56,793 --> 00:15:00,528
I was really competitive
with my roommate.
332
00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:04,132
Forget about it.
333
00:15:04,134 --> 00:15:06,434
Please.
334
00:15:08,204 --> 00:15:09,370
You know what,
335
00:15:09,372 --> 00:15:11,306
maybe we're putting
too much pressure on this.
336
00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:12,674
It doesn't matter
what we name him.
337
00:15:12,676 --> 00:15:14,275
He's gonna be amazing.
338
00:15:14,277 --> 00:15:15,777
You're right.
339
00:15:15,779 --> 00:15:19,080
This kid is part
you and part me.
340
00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:23,051
Yeah. He's gonna be smart
and kind and funny.
341
00:15:23,053 --> 00:15:25,286
If he cracks five-foot-six,
it'll be a miracle.
342
00:15:27,857 --> 00:15:29,824
I've always liked
the name Elliott.
343
00:15:29,826 --> 00:15:32,393
Sorry, can't have it.
That's my boy name.
344
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:33,728
I said it first.
345
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,697
It's not like calling dibs.
346
00:15:35,699 --> 00:15:37,532
Yes, it is.
It's exactly like that.
347
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,534
Dibs on Elliott.
348
00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:42,170
I-I'm just saying,
we might get there first.
349
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:43,671
You only have sex
once a year.
350
00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:45,340
I'll probably
have sex tonight.
351
00:15:46,743 --> 00:15:49,410
Fine, you can have Elliott.
352
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:53,281
When did you pick out
our kids' names?
353
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,283
Remember that day
you moved into the building?
354
00:15:55,285 --> 00:15:56,951
Yes.
355
00:15:57,854 --> 00:16:02,056
A non-creepy amount of time
after that.
356
00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:04,892
Yeah, I like the name Elliott.
357
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:06,728
That wasn't on my
list, but I like it.
358
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:09,697
We've heard your names.
They're ridiculous.
359
00:16:09,699 --> 00:16:12,700
And I have a cousin named Dilip.
360
00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:15,436
Well, I wasn't going to give
them any of the good names.
361
00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:17,205
I'm saving those for us.
362
00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:20,274
Really? You've thought
about our kids?
363
00:16:20,276 --> 00:16:23,678
Of course. I think you and I
will have exceptional children.
364
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,380
Aw.
365
00:16:25,382 --> 00:16:27,648
Well, I think so, too.
366
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,350
How many kids do you guys want?
367
00:16:29,352 --> 00:16:31,819
- Two.
- 15.
368
00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:34,956
- What?
- Don't worry.
369
00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:36,991
I don't expect you
to bear them all.
370
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:40,395
I'm sure we can find a
suitable uterus to rent.
371
00:16:41,598 --> 00:16:44,365
- No!
- Uh-uh!
372
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:46,434
We weren't thinking
about you.
373
00:16:46,436 --> 00:16:47,769
Of course not.
374
00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:49,203
I am going to
the kitchen.
375
00:16:49,205 --> 00:16:50,505
Can I get anybody anything?
376
00:16:50,507 --> 00:16:51,939
Penny, nice glass of milk
377
00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:54,342
and a multivitamin?
378
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:06,234
Guys.
379
00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:07,902
Guys, wake up.
380
00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:08,803
Terrible news.
381
00:17:08,805 --> 00:17:10,105
Oh, my God.
What, what, what?
382
00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:11,072
Is it the baby?
383
00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:12,507
No. No, no, we miscalculated
384
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,242
our unassigned
armor class units.
385
00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:15,877
We need to start over.
386
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:17,579
What?
387
00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:18,813
Oh, no, no, no,
not from the beginning.
388
00:17:18,815 --> 00:17:20,548
Just from when the tanks
started moving.
389
00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:23,151
That was five hours ago.
390
00:17:23,153 --> 00:17:25,720
Mm, no.
No, that was two hours ago.
391
00:17:25,722 --> 00:17:28,323
It only feels like five.
392
00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:29,524
What time is it?
393
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:30,992
It's almost 2:30.
394
00:17:30,994 --> 00:17:32,527
Don't you think
we should've heard something?
395
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,029
I'm sure they're fine.
396
00:17:34,031 --> 00:17:35,697
I'm calling them.
397
00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:39,401
Hey!
398
00:17:39,403 --> 00:17:40,468
Hey, everything okay?
399
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,905
Yeah! The baby was born
about an hour ago.
400
00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:46,841
Dude, why didn't
you call me?!
401
00:17:46,843 --> 00:17:49,677
The only way I would
see my son for the first time
402
00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:51,846
and immediately think
"I need to call Raj"
403
00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:54,315
is if he came out brown.
404
00:17:55,385 --> 00:17:58,086
You know, it can take some time
for pigment to form.
405
00:17:58,088 --> 00:17:59,721
You're still not
out of the woods.
406
00:17:59,723 --> 00:18:00,719
Congratulations!
407
00:18:00,743 --> 00:18:02,140
Yeah. Hey,
what'd you name him?
408
00:18:02,826 --> 00:18:04,359
Neil Michael.
409
00:18:04,361 --> 00:18:06,361
Neil for Armstrong,
410
00:18:06,363 --> 00:18:07,729
Gaiman, and Diamond.
411
00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:11,499
Michael because Bernie
had to get six stitches.
412
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,835
Neil-- that's cute.
413
00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:15,470
But we're calling him Michael!
414
00:18:15,472 --> 00:18:17,338
I'm not gonna fight her.
415
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:20,108
That kid's head was the size
of a cantaloupe.
416
00:18:21,777 --> 00:18:28,677
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man