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The Simpsons
2
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D'oh!
3
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Is there anything more fun
than a nice Sunday drive?
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Oh, yeah,
it's great.
5
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Why don't we top it off
by reading to old people?
6
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Well, I think
in these days
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of petro-terrorists
and ozone depletion,
8
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,120
a Sunday drive
reeks of bio-hubris.
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Hey, hey! It's Krusty
the Clown!
10
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What do you say, Krusty?
11
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What?
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Can't I get
a cup of coffee
13
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without doing a monkey dance
for you freaks?
14
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The fishing hat
means leave me alone!
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Always nice
to see him.
16
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How did Dad get out of this
snooze cruise?
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He's cleaning out
the garage.
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I can picture it now.
19
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I cleaned out the garage
and lost 50 pounds.
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Ah! Hmm.
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It seems a shame to chuck out
these cross-country skis.
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Mmm.
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I'll keep one.
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Let's see, now.
25
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"Kill spiders"?
26
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We don't have spiders.
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Stupid spider!
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Afraid of dying?
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Ah-ha!
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Huh?
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What?
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Spider poison
is people poison?
33
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Bart!
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Hmm. Where's the pain?
35
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Ow!
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There it is!
37
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A spider?
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Ow!
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Ow! Ow! Ow!
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Homie!
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Time to open the envelope
I gave you.
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Out of the way!
43
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I learned CPR while waiting
for other kids
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to finish
their math tests.
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Compress his chest!
I'm on it.
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Hey! What...
47
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What happened?
Where am I?
48
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Who put those spiders
in my mouth?
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Oh, thank God!
He's alive!
50
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You wouldn't believe
what happened to me!
51
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I tried to do
what you told me to,
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but I don't even
know what happened.
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I don't even know
what happened.
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Honey?
I'm trying to remember...
55
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Oh, uh...
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Near-fatal booboo
today really scared me.
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What would the kids and I do
if something happened to you?
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Don't worry,
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if I croak, you'll marry
Lenny or Moe.
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The winner
will be determined
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by a card game
I invented.
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I got all the rules
written down up here.
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You keep
almost dying.
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Just look at
our vacation photos.
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Vacation
All I ever wanted
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Vacation
Had to get away
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Vacation
Meant to be spent alone
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Homie, if you die, I'm gonna
have three kids to take care of.
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I want you to buy some
life insurance.
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Please?
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Sure. If it'll give
you peace of mind.
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But I'm not gonna die
for many, many years.
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I know. I just want to...
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Mr. Simpson, before
we can insure you,
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we need to ask you
some questions.
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Have you ever had
a heart attack?
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Haven't we all?
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Strokes?
None.
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No, wait,
three.
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Since the last one,
I don't remember so good.
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Are you a smoker?
Yes, I am.
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You don't smoke!
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I want her
to think I'm cool!
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If I sign it,
it still counts!
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My hemophilia!
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Oh, uninsurable?
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Oh.
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I'm not gonna worry
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just because Homer
doesn't have insurance.
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A lot of people don't.
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Oh, Roger, I just love
our present lifestyle.
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Don't thank me.
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Thank our many
debts and obligations.
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Honey!
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Stop kidding around!
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Honey?
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Brenda, I'm afraid your husband
had no insurance.
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Well, how will I
feed my family?
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You should have
thought of that
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before you had children
with a dead man.
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Oh!
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Oh, this is only
based on a story.
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A true story!
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Brenda! Where's your wealth?
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Gone! Along with
my sanity!
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But I'm still pretty,
right? Right?
107
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Mmm. We need
to start saving.
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Go easy on that!
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It's got to last
till you're five.
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Budget-Os'?
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That's right.
It's much less expensive
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than the leading
clown-based cereal.
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You just have
to assemble it yourself.
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We saved 50 cents
on that purchase.
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Mom, why are you
so worried about money?
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Oh, we're just saving
for a very rainy day.
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You mean when the big tuna
goes belly-up?
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Huh?
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Well, I just think we should
be building a nest egg.
120
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Way ahead
of you, Marge.
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I just ordered a series of tapes
on saving money.
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They should
get here soon.
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I paid a bundle for
overnight delivery.
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I have a book
from the library
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with the same
information.
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Okay, I'll just hire a haulage firm
to cart them away
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at my expense!
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Directory assistance?
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No more
directory assistance!
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It's not free.
131
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Well, I'll get
a lawyer on that.
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No, a whole team
of lawyers,
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who will dine on mustard
flown in from the Orient.
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No more
Oriental mustard!
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It's so embarrassing. Mom is
making us wear clothes from Goodwill.
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Ha-ha! People died
in those shirts.
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Hey, hey, hey!
No outside suds!
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I'm sorry, Moe.
139
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Marge won't let me
spend any money,
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even counterfeit money!
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It's my money. I'm the one
who earns it.
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Drinking beer out of a thermos
like an animal.
143
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,881
Can you help me unload
this soup from the car?
144
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There was a sale,
so I bought 400 cans.
145
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,411
Marge, your penny-pinching
rampage has gone too far.
146
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,166
Oh, honey,
I know it's not easy,
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but we've got
to put money away.
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You can't enjoy money
when you're dead,
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so why not
have fun now?
150
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Don't you think
you've had enough "fun"?
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Last year you spent $5,000
on donuts,
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$2,000 on
scalp massages,
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$500 on
body glitter...
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Hey, I earned
that money.
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While you lounge
around here,
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Doing laundry and
putting up drywall,
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I'm at work
busting my hump.
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Oh, please!
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From what I hear,
you waltz in there at 10:30,
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take a nap
on the toilet,
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then sit around googling
your own name until lunch.
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Who told you that?
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You shouted it while
we were making love!
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Now, look here,
mister.
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I pay the bills,
I do the budget,
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and I'm in charge
of the money.
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Hmm!
Hmm!
168
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,885
Are you going to let her
push you around?
169
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,531
Yeah, show that skirt
who's boss, see?
170
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,489
Give us
our independence, Homer.
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Yes, President Franklin.
172
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I was never president.
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I invented some kind of stove.
174
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Well, I invented a Popsicle
made of Mountain Dew.
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Sweet.
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Yeah, yeah,
that's swell.
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My scrimpings!
178
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You banged?
179
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,970
Did you spend our savings
on a motor home?
180
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,324
No. I spent our savings on the
down payment for a motor home.
181
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,164
I need a castle
where I can be king!
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00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,761
Well, I hope you enjoy it,
Your Majesty,
183
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'cause I'm not
speaking to you.
184
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Damn it!
185
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,129
Kids, your mother
and I have decided
186
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,964
to take a little break
from each other.
187
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While we deal
with our issues,
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00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,451
I plan to go on
Motor Home Makeover
189
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,522
and trick this thing
out like a palace,
190
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,450
not like that dump
you live in.
191
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All I need is for someone
to start a show called
192
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Motor Home Makeover!
193
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,006
I see. You were mad enough
to leave our house,
194
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,242
but not mad enough
to leave our property.
195
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,771
That's my
half-assed dad.
196
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,689
Hey, I couldn't leave
you kids.
197
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,165
You're like
my own family.
198
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,044
Now check
this place out.
199
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,171
Neat! When I sleep
at Dad's, I call this bed.
200
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,890
You can have it.
This one's way better.
201
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,121
That's a bread compartment.
202
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,321
You're a bread
compartment!
203
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,209
Kids! Come back
in the house!
204
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,806
Oh, do we have to?
205
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,167
I melted string cheese
over some corn chips.
206
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,446
Oh, boy!
207
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,204
I've got Gameboys
and caramel apples!
208
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,084
I'll let you
sass me!
209
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,286
I'll let you
punch me!
210
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,840
You can wear swimsuits
instead of underwear!
211
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,570
We'll have
Christmas tomorrow!
212
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,085
Yeah!
213
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,484
Welcome to the jungle
214
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,723
We've got fun and games
215
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,848
We got everything
you want, honey
216
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,001
We know the names
217
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,560
We are the people that can find
whatever you may need
218
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,847
Whoo-hoo!
219
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,921
Free gas!
220
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,970
Well, it's a pleasure to meet
another sultan of the slow lane.
221
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,610
That's my rig
over there.
222
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,849
She's a Roam Away
Silver Coach.
223
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,765
34 feet of
walnut-burled freedom.
224
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,644
Boy, I wouldn't mind
driving that
225
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,848
to the Holland,
Michigan Tulip Festival.
226
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,168
I'm looking for a place
to dock the beast.
227
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,406
I don't mean you, Martha.
228
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,608
I've never loved you either.
229
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,447
We use jokes to mask our pain
at the death of our son.
230
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,201
Really.
231
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,090
Hmm. A place to dock?
I got room.
232
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,846
I have a backyard that makes
my front yard look like an idiot.
233
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,929
Can I bring the rest
of the convoy?
234
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,000
Are you crazy?
235
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,526
Let 12 complete strangers
live on my lawn?
236
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,762
Well, we'll give you
regional beers.
237
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,444
It's a deal! Whoo-hoo!
238
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,925
And there you have it.
239
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,487
Ah!
240
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,410
Welcome, welcome.
241
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,801
If my wife asks, you're here for
a Boz Scaggs concert.
242
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,281
Homer!
243
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,323
What are all these recreational
vehicles doing here?
244
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,482
These are my new friends.
245
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,529
They like me for me
246
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,842
and my plumbing
and gas hookups.
247
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,201
Young lady, I like what
you're driving.
248
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,966
Is that one of them
two-level Wander-Kings?
249
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,849
This is a house!
250
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,571
Hey, boys, let's play her
the RV national anthem.
251
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,570
Daddy, all the fumes
are making me dizzy.
252
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,411
Well, now, Rodney, the Lord
wouldn't let us die this way.
253
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,567
That's right, Ned.
254
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,250
Now, you three
take a little nap
255
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,731
while I make
some hot chocolate.
256
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,371
Yay!
257
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,802
I've been everywhere, man
258
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,689
I've been everywhere
259
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,081
Travel, I've done
my share, man
260
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,969
I've been everywhere
261
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,883
I've been to Springfield,
Shelbyville, Ogdenville
262
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,088
Cap City, Ogdenberg,
Shelbytown, Spring City
263
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,924
Capfield, West Springfield,
Paris, Rome
264
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,286
And Shelbyville adjacent...
265
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,641
Sing it, baby!
That's a lot of places.
266
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,210
Whoo-ee!
Oh, yeah!
267
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,044
I know another
place you can go!
268
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,327
To sleep.
269
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,928
Sorry, Marge. We've got the power
now, and you can't turn us off!
270
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,607
Can't turn off the power, eh?
271
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,324
Sashay this
and fancy that
272
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,765
Watch the dog
dance with the cat
273
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,762
Lights out, weirdos!
274
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,844
I was making a Monte Cristo
sandwich when my crisper cut out.
275
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,686
It's not golden brown, it's not
brown, it's not nothing.
276
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,841
Dang!
277
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,927
Oh!
278
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,842
You don't belong
on the lawn.
279
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,207
You belong in your bed
with your wife.
280
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,725
That's no marriage bed.
281
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,485
It's a loveless slab
of bossiness!
282
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,041
Well,
you're not perfect either!
283
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,963
Name one way I'm not.
284
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,725
You hide food in my hair.
285
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,247
You think brushing
your teeth is foreplay...
286
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,805
I'll have you know I could
have married Sideshow Mel!
287
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,331
Boy, they're really
going at it.
288
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,851
Do you think they're gonna
get divorced?
289
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,964
No. I don't see Dad doing all
that paperwork.
290
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,846
What? I seem to recall you
asked me to get this fat!
291
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:45,967
Oh, boy.
292
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,805
Let's get out of here before
Dad does a bad impression of Mom.
293
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,486
Ooh! I'm Marge Simpson.
294
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,206
Don't eat
off the floor. Ooh!
295
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,409
I am so sick of that story
296
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,006
about finding an onion ring
in your French fries.
297
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,721
It was 20 years ago.
298
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,167
That was my Woodstock!
299
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,281
Oh!
300
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,010
You know what started
all this trouble?
301
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:08,326
This motor home.
302
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,925
How can a vehicle this cool
303
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,570
destroy a marriage
that crappy?
304
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,889
Hey, I know this is a crazy idea,
but hear me out.
305
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,405
What if We...
306
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,641
Take this back
to the dealer?
307
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,723
Well, I was gonna say,
"Call Reverend Lovejoy,"
308
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,046
but I guess
this could work.
309
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,770
Oh, yeah, Marge?
310
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,322
What about my womanly needs?
311
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,364
Slowly, slowly.
312
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,411
The RV dealer is across town
under that gorilla blimp.
313
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,451
How do you know
that's their blimp?
314
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,090
Duh! It's Kamper Kong.
315
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,331
Bob, word on the street
is there's two kids
316
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,885
trying to return an RV.
317
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,731
Return an RV?
318
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,041
Tie me to the Kong
and cut its tethers.
319
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,688
You don't take
anything seriously.
320
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,762
Not even your
bankruptcy hearing!
321
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,763
Hey, that judge
thought I rocked.
322
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,921
Case closed!
323
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,240
Although my case
is still open.
324
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,569
If you need me,
I'll be in my trailer!
325
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,490
My RV is gone!
326
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,648
It was more than a motor home.
327
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,122
It was a car I could go
to the bathroom in.
328
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,890
Hey, a note.
329
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,446
"Dear Mom and Dad,
330
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,246
"we don't want
you guys to split up,
331
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,005
"so we're driving the RV
back to the dealer."
332
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,526
We've got
to stop them.
333
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,530
Oh! This is a parent's
worst nightmare!
334
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,571
They've stolen a car
and they're home alone.
335
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,522
Let's see,
the RV dealership is
336
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,688
Across the freeway
on the corner of...
337
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,969
Hey! This is
a Flintstones Fun Map.
338
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,849
Look, Dad wrote something.
339
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,968
"'Dino.' Short for dinosaur?
340
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,288
"Remember to ask Jeeves."
341
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,487
We're on the freeway!
342
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,045
Would you look at
those Simpson kids?
343
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,724
Last year
it was Razor scooters,
344
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,888
this year
they're driving RVs.
345
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,645
When I was a kid,
my mom would give me
346
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,921
an empty egg carton
347
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,287
and I'd pretend it was
a spaceship to the moon.
348
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,047
You'll never guess what
I used for astronauts.
349
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,009
I'm going to say eggs.
350
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,801
Shut up.
351
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,889
Oh, my God,
there they are!
352
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,931
Oh!
353
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,525
I've lost them!
354
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,206
I can't see past all the SUVs!
355
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,765
Don't worry about the SUVs.
356
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,968
There's a gentle
curve up ahead.
357
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,490
Bart! Pull over!
358
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,961
We'll stop fighting,
we promise!
359
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,201
Prove it!
360
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,481
Yeah, kiss and make up!
361
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,090
We're not
quite there yet,
362
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,924
but we've opened up
a dialogue!
363
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,082
Not good enough! Kiss!
364
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,321
Oh!
365
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,685
French it up,
lover boyl
366
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,604
I'm not a machine.
I can't just turn it on!
367
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,011
Oh! Come here.
368
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,364
Now pull over!
369
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,726
First, raise
my allowance.
370
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,803
Why, you little...
371
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,526
We're going downhill
and I can't reach the brakes!
372
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,967
Look! "Runaway Truck Lane!"
373
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,451
We're saved!
374
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,409
Oh, rats.
375
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,001
Ooh!
376
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,325
Oh! Thank God
for that Turkish freighter.
377
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,404
Now we'll just
go get them and...
378
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,404
My kids are on your boat.
Turn back!
379
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:08,960
I see no kids.
380
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,644
And we must get
these Season One
381
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,405
Northern Exposure DVDs
to Kahramanmaras.
382
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,001
Help us!
383
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,209
Bring back our children,
you Cyprus-splitting jerks!
384
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,922
Just for that,
we keep your children.
385
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,207
Will you raise them Christian?
386
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,930
Coptic Christian.
387
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,686
No!
388
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,401
Captain, wait! I have something here
that might change your mind!
389
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,445
What are you showing me? Soup?
390
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,286
300 cans of Budget
Club mushroom soup!
391
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,687
If you have some
noodles and tuna fish,
392
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:49,448
you can make a casserole that's small
on price, but big on flavor.
393
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,365
You are a wise woman.
394
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,011
It is a shame you dress like
a Lebanese prostitute.
395
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,446
Return to the docks!
396
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,122
Well, if he thinks he's getting
a corner piece, forget it.
397
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,005
Wow, Marge, once again, your
mom-ly wisdom averted disaster.
398
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,403
And I promise I will return this RV
first thing in the morning.
399
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,566
Easy... Easy...
400
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,571
Easy... Easy...
401
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,561
D'oh!
402
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,922
Water damage? Can't be returned.
I win again!
403
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,126
Aw, hey.
It's only money.
404
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,328
And it did make
a cool splash.
405
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,851
Marge, you're taking this
pretty well.
406
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,840
Dude, she seemed tense, so we put
a little hashish in her meal.
407
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,486
Cool.
408
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,043
Which came first, turkey
the bird or Turkey the you guys?
409
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,406
If you don't want
to say it, just think it.
410
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,644
Istanbul was Constantinople
411
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,768
Now it's Istanbul
not Constantinople
412
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,649
Been a long time gone
Constantinople
413
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,200
Now it's Turkish delight
on a moonlit night
414
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,286
Istanbul
415
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,603
I've been everywhere, man
416
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,768
I've been everywhere, man
417
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,729
Crossed the deserts bare, man
418
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,928
I've breathed
the mountain air, man
419
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,207
Of travel I've had
my share, man
420
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,044
I've been everywhere
421
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,481
I've been to Reno,
Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota
422
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,608
Buffalo, Toronto,
Winslow, Sarasota
423
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,887
Wichita, Tulsa,
Ottawa, Oklahoma
424
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,008
Tampa, Panama,
Mattawa, La Paloma
425
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,128
Bangor, Baltimore,
Salvador, Amarillo
426
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,248
Tocaplllo, Barranquilla,
and Perdilla, I'm a killer
427
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,530
I've been everywhere, man
428
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,489
Crossed the deserts bare, man
429
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,608
I've breathed
the mountain air, man
430
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,967
Of travel I've had
my share, man
431
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,849
I've been everywhere