1 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,541 You can put your dials back in the seat pockets, thanks. 2 00:00:24,795 --> 00:00:26,666 Yeah, just stick them back in the pockets. 3 00:00:26,782 --> 00:00:27,676 You won't need them anymore. 4 00:00:27,941 --> 00:00:30,490 We're just gonna talk about the show you just saw. 5 00:00:30,638 --> 00:00:33,196 I want to start by talking about what you didn't like. 6 00:00:33,688 --> 00:00:34,829 Who's got something they didn't like? 7 00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:36,966 Yes? Sir. 8 00:00:37,147 --> 00:00:39,224 Well, first, on the whole, 9 00:00:39,346 --> 00:00:40,816 I thought it was terrific. 10 00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:43,130 Much better than it's been in recent years. 11 00:00:43,823 --> 00:00:45,319 Where there something you didn't like? 12 00:00:45,606 --> 00:00:46,470 Commedia dell'arte. 13 00:00:46,542 --> 00:00:48,127 I wasn't wild about the comedy arts... 14 00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:49,230 Commedia dell'arte. 15 00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:52,061 ...where the girl played the pantaloon bassoon. 16 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:53,563 Pantalone bisognosi. 17 00:00:54,145 --> 00:00:54,783 Knock it off. 18 00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:56,000 The French clown? 19 00:00:56,095 --> 00:00:56,661 Italian! 20 00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:57,840 Commedia dell'arte is Italian. 21 00:00:58,105 --> 00:00:58,442 Who cares? 22 00:00:58,685 --> 00:00:59,381 He didn't like it. 23 00:00:59,446 --> 00:01:00,263 He didn't get it. 24 00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:01,853 No problem then. 25 00:01:02,435 --> 00:01:06,162 Just give America a tutorial in 15th century Restoration comedy before each show. 26 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,403 17th century, and Restoration comedy is English. 27 00:01:08,928 --> 00:01:11,221 And what's the guy doing starting off with "tell me what you didn't like"? 28 00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:12,902 He's a professional. 29 00:01:13,027 --> 00:01:16,322 Can I ask, are you troubled at all about the spectacular lack of success 30 00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,123 these things have had at predicting success? 31 00:01:18,405 --> 00:01:18,802 That's not true. 32 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:19,851 They blew All in the Family, 33 00:01:19,925 --> 00:01:20,722 they blew Seinfeld, 34 00:01:20,807 --> 00:01:21,871 they blew Hill Street Blues. 35 00:01:22,076 --> 00:01:24,193 Look at the data on ER. Clooney broke the needle. 36 00:01:24,286 --> 00:01:26,670 Yeah, I need a damn focus group to tell me Clooney's good looking. 37 00:01:27,028 --> 00:01:29,541 There's important information in this data that needs to get to Matt and Danny. 38 00:01:29,935 --> 00:01:32,653 Can I also say that L.A. focus groups are the most useless? 39 00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:33,341 Listen to them. 40 00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:36,131 Those are unemployed writers and directors in there who are trying to impress me 41 00:01:36,215 --> 00:01:37,450 'cause they know I'm standing back here. 44 00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:47,191 There's no other television network at which this conversation is taking place. 45 00:01:47,287 --> 00:01:48,260 I know. 46 00:01:51,435 --> 00:01:53,542 This focus group data from New York, Atlanta, 47 00:01:53,645 --> 00:01:54,872 Columbus, Seattle and Phoenix. 48 00:01:55,175 --> 00:01:58,102 You will find it identical to the data being gathered in there right now. 49 00:01:58,256 --> 00:01:58,660 And? 50 00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:00,483 I want it to get to Matt and Danny. 51 00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:03,241 That we're paying people $40 and a sandwich to tell us how to do our jobs? 52 00:02:03,366 --> 00:02:04,861 Get off my back, would you? 53 00:02:05,046 --> 00:02:06,001 The tests are great, 54 00:02:06,088 --> 00:02:06,803 they love the first show. 55 00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:08,382 88% in the top two boxes. 56 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,281 Christian right's gonna amp up the heat, 57 00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,591 but at least we got bullets in our gun with the sponsors and affiliates. 58 00:02:12,686 --> 00:02:13,543 Then what's the problem? 59 00:02:13,678 --> 00:02:15,153 Look at page seven at the bottom. 60 00:02:18,668 --> 00:02:21,041 "Is Studio 60 patriotic or unpatriotic?" 61 00:02:21,528 --> 00:02:23,600 Split 50-50 right down party lines. 62 00:02:24,025 --> 00:02:24,563 I don't believe it. 63 00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:25,651 You're surprised? 64 00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:27,793 No, I don't believe that we asked the question. 65 00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:28,931 I don't believe that we asked the question, 66 00:02:29,005 --> 00:02:30,880 and I don't believe we only gave them those two choices for an answer, 67 00:02:31,008 --> 00:02:34,103 and since when did Democrat or Republican become a demographic distinction 68 00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:35,581 we care about in the entertainment industry? 69 00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:39,493 Since the first plane made a left turn and gunned its engines into the North Tower, kitten. 70 00:02:40,238 --> 00:02:41,871 I just want to make sure that the guys remember 71 00:02:41,926 --> 00:02:44,191 it's still an extremely polarized country they're writing for. 72 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:45,812 They remember. 73 00:02:46,418 --> 00:02:48,612 They remember from the first time they got the hell beaten out of them. 74 00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:50,121 But I'll take this to them. 75 00:02:50,198 --> 00:02:51,040 Make sure they understand it. 76 00:02:51,157 --> 00:02:51,982 Yeah. 77 00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,361 Good. Then we're done. 78 00:02:54,815 --> 00:02:55,773 What are you staring at? 79 00:02:57,395 --> 00:02:58,412 My mug shot. 80 00:03:02,778 --> 00:03:03,781 I've been meaning to ask, 81 00:03:04,296 --> 00:03:06,073 how do you like the job so far? 82 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:09,402 La "Studio Six-Team" : 83 00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:13,873 Boscof@n, Rom1_333, Titus Pullo, Dryosia, TheAma1, Macpantouf, Garyperso06, ny_stuf 84 00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:17,683 présente le 103 - The Focus Group Références sur http://dryosia.free.fr/stud/ 85 00:03:17,688 --> 00:03:17,683 {PUB} 86 00:03:18,496 --> 00:03:19,860 Welcome to "Science Schmience" 87 00:03:20,455 --> 00:03:22,473 Monday the game show that tests our players 88 00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:24,982 willingness to stand by what they believe to be true 89 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,603 in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence to the contrary. 90 00:03:27,956 --> 00:03:30,683 Today's contestants are Schlomo Levy, 91 00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:31,682 a member of the ultra- 92 00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:33,852 orthodox Meir Kahane Followers; Mufti Mohammed, 93 00:03:33,987 --> 00:03:39,523 from the Taliban-controlled border region of Afghanistan; Cora Rae Barker, 94 00:03:39,626 --> 00:03:45,242 a junior from Liberty Bible College in Lynchburg, Virginia; Tom Cruise and a witch. 95 00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:47,850 And there'll be animation on top of this. 96 00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:49,553 And find out if Liberty Bible College... 97 00:03:50,167 --> 00:03:51,711 I don't think it's "Bible," 98 00:03:51,846 --> 00:03:52,802 I think I'm getting that wrong, 99 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,602 I think it's just Liberty College or University. 100 00:03:54,957 --> 00:03:56,563 You've got to have "Bible" in there. 101 00:03:56,628 --> 00:03:58,871 I don't want anything in the sketch that's even a little bit wrong. 102 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,281 If it's not Liberty Bible College, 103 00:04:00,345 --> 00:04:02,023 find a sketch that has "Bible" in it. 104 00:04:02,157 --> 00:04:03,981 I mean, find a college that has "Bible" in it. 105 00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:04,481 Go ahead. 106 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,133 From the top? 107 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,120 No, just keep going. 108 00:04:06,228 --> 00:04:07,970 Our categories today are World History, 109 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,150 Anthropology, 110 00:04:09,278 --> 00:04:12,660 Meteorology, Geology and Psychiatry. 111 00:04:12,945 --> 00:04:14,401 We've got the boards lighting, 112 00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:15,032 we've got sound. 113 00:04:15,215 --> 00:04:15,893 Change "Psychiatry" 114 00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:16,563 to "Medicine." 115 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,742 You're gonna get a laugh on "Psychiatry." 116 00:04:17,826 --> 00:04:20,063 It'll be the last laugh we get on that, 'cause if Tom Cruise is up there, 117 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,111 I already got the joke. 118 00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:22,573 Not necessarily with my Tom Cruise. 119 00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:23,722 How's it coming? 120 00:04:23,866 --> 00:04:27,100 I can do Ben Stiller and Ben Stiller can do Cruise, so... 121 00:04:27,428 --> 00:04:28,331 Let me see your Ben Stiller. 122 00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:31,712 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 123 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:32,771 'Kay. I don't know... 124 00:04:32,927 --> 00:04:34,033 I don't know, Jack. 125 00:04:34,196 --> 00:04:35,322 Okay, let me see Tom Cruise. 126 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:37,972 You know, I'm a, uh... 127 00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:43,120 very, very, very... very physical actor. 128 00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:44,843 Whoo! 129 00:04:45,337 --> 00:04:46,172 Your Tom Cruise will get better? 130 00:04:46,295 --> 00:04:46,953 Yes, sir. 131 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:47,701 Matthew. 132 00:04:47,795 --> 00:04:48,393 Yes. 133 00:04:48,486 --> 00:04:50,121 I can do the whole thing as Holly Hunter if you want. 134 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:50,730 I don't. 135 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,673 Would you like it if I spent the rest of the day talking to you like Holly Hunter?* 136 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:54,531 Not at all. 137 00:04:54,696 --> 00:04:58,801 It's hard for me to advise you since you personify something I truly think is dangerous.* 138 00:04:58,917 --> 00:04:59,942 Stop it, now. 139 00:05:00,296 --> 00:05:03,262 Can we get her a witch's hat that isn't two sizes too big? 140 00:05:03,388 --> 00:05:04,802 This is how we're wearing them today. 141 00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:05,440 Tom? 142 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,603 Our first category is Anthropology. 143 00:05:07,706 --> 00:05:09,410 Cora Rae, this question's for you. 144 00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:13,259 The earliest evidence of man can be dated back to this time. 145 00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:16,870 6,000 years ago when God breathed into a handful of dust 146 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,017 and created Adam, Eve and the Garden of Eden. 147 00:05:19,249 --> 00:05:21,093 You understand that archeologists are in possession 148 00:05:21,217 --> 00:05:24,432 of a three-million-year-old human skull found near Johannesburg 149 00:05:24,546 --> 00:05:29,800 which would put your answer off by 2,994,000 years. 150 00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:30,902 Do you stand by it? 151 00:05:31,047 --> 00:05:32,363 Archeologists can be wrong. 152 00:05:32,455 --> 00:05:33,240 You be they can. 153 00:05:33,338 --> 00:05:34,351 Audience? 154 00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:36,162 Science Schmience! 155 00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:38,133 And they'll be good and warmed up by then. 156 00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:39,841 Yeah, give me a good look at the first six center rows. 157 00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:40,902 No T-shirts with writing, 158 00:05:40,985 --> 00:05:42,170 nothing that's gonna pull focus. 159 00:05:42,295 --> 00:05:42,950 Tom. 160 00:05:43,118 --> 00:05:45,680 Schlomo, how old is the earth? 161 00:05:45,858 --> 00:05:50,471 I refuse to answer that question until the gentile girl covers her arms, 162 00:05:50,776 --> 00:05:51,853 which are an abomination. 163 00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,500 I agree with the Jew. 164 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,320 And according to Sharia law, 165 00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:57,603 I could cut off the witch's fingers for wearing nail polish. 166 00:05:57,928 --> 00:05:59,123 Reasonable positions, 167 00:05:59,216 --> 00:06:00,043 both of you, 168 00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:01,191 but let's stick to our game. 169 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,333 Schlomo, the first evidence of man. 170 00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:04,370 Abraham, 171 00:06:04,515 --> 00:06:06,323 who lived to 175. 172 00:06:06,438 --> 00:06:07,550 175. 173 00:06:07,636 --> 00:06:08,242 That's right. 174 00:06:08,465 --> 00:06:09,841 Noah lived to 600. 175 00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:13,200 600 years is a pretty long time for a human. 176 00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:14,851 That would be a record by quite some margin. 177 00:06:14,927 --> 00:06:16,671 What say you to the anthropologists who 178 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:20,832 tell us that early Homosapiens had a life expectancy of 17 years? 179 00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:22,641 Well, let me ask you this. 180 00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:24,221 Were they there? 181 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:25,843 Well, argued, sir. 182 00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:26,702 Audience? 183 00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,871 Science Schmience! 184 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,370 Okay... 185 00:06:30,947 --> 00:06:31,661 What the hell? 186 00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,113 - We lost power. -You think? 187 00:06:34,396 --> 00:06:35,883 Harriet, you say a word, 188 00:06:35,955 --> 00:06:38,193 any word at all about God not liking to be mocked... 189 00:06:38,426 --> 00:06:40,150 You know what, I think you're the devil.* 190 00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:41,213 And that's lunch. 191 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:42,602 Back in an hour. 192 00:06:43,428 --> 00:06:44,542 It was eight years ago. 193 00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:47,723 I was driving back to the city from Sag Harbor in the middle of the night 194 00:06:47,795 --> 00:06:49,883 and I couldn't find the entrance to the Long Island expressway. 195 00:06:49,937 --> 00:06:52,622 Saw a police car, I pulled over to ask directions, 196 00:06:52,676 --> 00:06:54,023 the guy gave me a Breathalyzer. 197 00:06:54,058 --> 00:06:56,683 You think if I'd known I was over the legal limit I'd have pulled over 198 00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,711 and presented myself to law enforcement? 199 00:06:58,845 --> 00:07:00,591 It's not like I was partying. 200 00:07:00,685 --> 00:07:02,351 So where were you coming from? 201 00:07:02,435 --> 00:07:03,041 A party. 202 00:07:03,137 --> 00:07:03,931 Yeah. 203 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:05,442 How did it get out, Shelly? 204 00:07:05,687 --> 00:07:08,243 Somebody had the time and the resources to do a background check? 205 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:10,770 It doesn't take a lot of time or a lot of resources. 206 00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:11,770 Yeah, it does. 207 00:07:11,888 --> 00:07:12,772 I don't have a record. 208 00:07:12,856 --> 00:07:14,100 The judge gave me a DEJ, 209 00:07:14,197 --> 00:07:15,481 that's a deferred entry of judgment. 210 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:17,742 I complete an alcohol diversion program and the court dismisses the charge-- 211 00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:20,292 it's not part of my record, 212 00:07:20,378 --> 00:07:21,042 it doesn't exist. 213 00:07:21,238 --> 00:07:21,862 Does now. 214 00:07:22,197 --> 00:07:23,012 How did they get it? 215 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:24,721 The same way you got Danny Tripp's drug test. 216 00:07:25,288 --> 00:07:26,841 Disgruntled ex-boyfriend, 217 00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:28,681 a co-worker, they don't even have to be disgruntled. 218 00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:30,540 The cop who booked you recognizes your picture, 219 00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:32,290 someone else in your alcohol diversion. 220 00:07:32,406 --> 00:07:34,310 You'd be amazed what $500 can buy. 221 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,540 So now you know. 222 00:07:35,708 --> 00:07:38,840 Thieves get rich and saints get shot and God don't answer prayers a lot. 223 00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:47,301 Where did we get these candles from? 224 00:07:47,495 --> 00:07:48,920 PAs ran out to the store. 225 00:07:49,596 --> 00:07:51,613 Did they go to the Phantom of the Opera House of Crap? 226 00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:52,831 They went to Magicopolis. 227 00:07:52,926 --> 00:07:53,891 It's a magic store. 228 00:07:53,978 --> 00:07:54,990 It's down the street. 229 00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:56,650 How are our two new anchors? 230 00:07:56,745 --> 00:07:58,030 I'm scared out of my mind. 231 00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:58,993 Well, you should be. 232 00:07:59,138 --> 00:08:01,373 News 60 has been the centerpiece of the show for 20 years. 233 00:08:01,675 --> 00:08:04,790 Makes or breaks stars and the show lives or dies with its success or failure. 234 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:07,681 Plus, Simon, you're the first black anchor we've ever had. 235 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,923 I meant I was scared of the dark, 236 00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:11,102 but now it's what you just said. 237 00:08:11,188 --> 00:08:12,850 Nah, pairing you two was a good idea. 238 00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:14,390 We're building a fresh set, too. 239 00:08:14,566 --> 00:08:15,961 Do you know where Matt and Danny are? 240 00:08:16,056 --> 00:08:17,081 Upstairs probably. 241 00:08:17,208 --> 00:08:18,911 Tom's gonna work with you a while, 242 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:22,232 then Ron and I'll come in, then we'll show it Matt who'll throw everything out and start again. 243 00:08:22,347 --> 00:08:22,982 We figured. 244 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:23,820 Upstairs you think? 245 00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:24,492 Yeah. 246 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,581 Thank you. 247 00:08:25,998 --> 00:08:26,560 Be funny. 248 00:08:26,786 --> 00:08:27,881 Yeah, okay. 249 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:38,142 Matt... 250 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,411 Well, we need to find out why this is happening. 251 00:08:40,566 --> 00:08:41,240 Yep. 252 00:08:41,648 --> 00:08:44,061 Electricity plays a pretty big role in what we're trying to do. 253 00:08:44,227 --> 00:08:47,523 Matt, you really think it's a good idea to have Tom overseeing the writing on the news? 254 00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:48,261 Yes. 255 00:08:49,338 --> 00:08:50,330 I'm sorry? 256 00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:52,180 Yes, I think it's wise. 257 00:08:52,578 --> 00:08:53,750 'Cause it's what we usually do. 258 00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:54,413 Yeah. 259 00:08:54,465 --> 00:08:55,520 We can do it for Simon and Harry, too. 260 00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:56,681 No, you can't. 261 00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:00,582 You think there's any chance you might come down off your horse 262 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:03,690 and stop being pissed at us for something that happened four years ago and work with us? 263 00:09:03,798 --> 00:09:05,350 Not a big chance, no. 264 00:09:06,207 --> 00:09:06,893 You want us to quit? 265 00:09:07,527 --> 00:09:08,141 Badly. 266 00:09:08,727 --> 00:09:09,663 You think it's gonna happen? 267 00:09:10,018 --> 00:09:11,360 Not a big chance, no. 268 00:09:11,557 --> 00:09:12,610 You need to see me? 269 00:09:13,108 --> 00:09:14,883 And Danny. He's meeting us here. 270 00:09:14,958 --> 00:09:16,182 What's in your hand? 271 00:09:17,685 --> 00:09:19,141 We'll wait till Danny gets here. 272 00:09:23,806 --> 00:09:25,543 We could have a damn séance in this room. 273 00:09:25,676 --> 00:09:26,223 Here we go. 274 00:09:26,308 --> 00:09:27,500 This is from Saturday's Times. 275 00:09:27,648 --> 00:09:29,703 "Four people in Ealing, Missouri 276 00:09:29,796 --> 00:09:33,393 objected strongly to the local high school's recent production of Grease." Why? 277 00:09:33,766 --> 00:09:37,453 Because Rizzo sneaks out the window at Frenchy's slumber party to go off with Kinickie. 278 00:09:37,565 --> 00:09:38,372 Leave it alone. 279 00:09:38,538 --> 00:09:40,103 No, 'cause here's where it gets good. 280 00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:42,980 As a result of the controversy the school's superintendent 281 00:09:43,085 --> 00:09:46,180 has canceled their planned spring production of The Crucible. Why? 282 00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:48,223 It casts Christians in a bad light. 283 00:09:48,356 --> 00:09:50,530 Yeah, Salem wasn't our finest hour. 284 00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:53,061 They're replacing it with A Midsummer Night's Dream. 285 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,482 Have they read A Midsummer Night's Dream? 286 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,350 Everybody swaps partners with everybody 287 00:09:56,407 --> 00:09:58,992 including a man who metamorphosed into a donkey. 288 00:09:59,105 --> 00:09:59,911 Can we leave it alone? 289 00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:00,672 No. 290 00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:01,453 Please? 291 00:10:01,537 --> 00:10:02,793 There's a lot of comedy here, Harry. 292 00:10:02,925 --> 00:10:03,881 I understand that. 293 00:10:03,976 --> 00:10:07,402 But we're already doing Science Schmience a week after we did Crazy Christians, so maybe... 294 00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:09,001 Here it is. You do the intro. 295 00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:12,411 Ealing High School in Ealing, Missouri after blah, blah, blah 296 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:15,742 has canceled their planned spring production of Arthur Miller's 297 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:19,512 The Crucible saying it casts Christians in a bad light and replaced it 298 00:10:19,626 --> 00:10:22,962 with Shakespeare's immortal romantic comedy A Midsummer Night's Dream. 299 00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,071 Other plays that were considered and discarded 300 00:10:25,078 --> 00:10:27,701 include Damn Yankees for its comedic portrayal of the devil, 301 00:10:27,707 --> 00:10:31,543 Bye Bye Birdiefor its Elvis-likerock star gyrations... 302 00:10:31,636 --> 00:10:36,770 And, uh, and a, uh a stage adaptation of the film AstroGlide Asses, 303 00:10:36,857 --> 00:10:40,442 for its depiction of homosexuals sodomizing each other on crystal meth. 304 00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:41,311 Yeah! 305 00:10:41,396 --> 00:10:41,981 Beat me, daddy, 306 00:10:42,118 --> 00:10:42,950 eight to the bar. 307 00:10:43,037 --> 00:10:44,112 Oh, brother. 308 00:10:44,707 --> 00:10:45,341 Top it. 309 00:10:45,618 --> 00:10:46,423 I don't have to. 310 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,742 God loves me and hates the both of you. 311 00:10:49,037 --> 00:10:49,680 Prove it. 312 00:10:53,385 --> 00:10:55,002 Okay, seriously, I'm scared out of my mind. 313 00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:56,920 Yeah, that s strange. 314 00:10:57,235 --> 00:10:58,460 All right, moving on. 315 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,533 Cal's guys are trying to figure out what's going on. 316 00:11:08,648 --> 00:11:11,101 Good, 'cause everything we do here plugs into a socket. 317 00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:15,710 Jack Rudolph asked us to speak to you to relay some information. 318 00:11:15,796 --> 00:11:16,760 What are you talking about? 319 00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:19,251 This is focus-group data on last week's show. 320 00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:20,052 Get it out of here! 321 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:20,601 Look... 322 00:11:20,686 --> 00:11:21,831 Get it out of here, Ricky. 323 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,251 You had to know they were going to focus it. 324 00:11:23,338 --> 00:11:24,430 They can focus it all they want, 325 00:11:24,557 --> 00:11:25,703 but they can't make me care, 326 00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:26,810 so get it out of here. 327 00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:27,342 Danny... 328 00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:28,280 Get it out of here! 329 00:11:28,358 --> 00:11:29,393 This thing's going to get around, 330 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,391 the cast is going to see it. 331 00:11:30,416 --> 00:11:32,441 Everybody's going to lose their brains. 332 00:11:32,507 --> 00:11:36,480 What the hell are you doing being the go-between for Jack and the show? 333 00:11:36,607 --> 00:11:37,961 I was doing as I was told. 334 00:11:38,035 --> 00:11:38,841 You work for me. 335 00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:39,850 Excuse me, Danny, 336 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:41,150 but you don't sign my paycheck, 337 00:11:41,296 --> 00:11:42,122 the network does. 338 00:11:42,265 --> 00:11:43,351 Mine, too. 339 00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:44,650 Damn, Ron, 340 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,181 I didn't even know you were here. 341 00:11:46,558 --> 00:11:47,721 Listen to me before... 342 00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:48,521 Get it out of here! 343 00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:49,443 It's all good, okay? 344 00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:50,313 It's incredibly good. 345 00:11:50,427 --> 00:11:52,161 88% in the top two boxes-- 346 00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:54,670 there was only one thing Jack wanted you guys to see. 347 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:55,391 One thing. 348 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:57,393 They were asked-- and this is five different samples, 349 00:11:57,538 --> 00:11:58,053 by the way, 350 00:11:58,137 --> 00:11:59,001 from all over the country. 351 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,942 They were asked if the show was patriotic or unpatriotic, 352 00:12:02,015 --> 00:12:03,351 and Jack wanted you to see the results. 353 00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:04,320 They were what? 354 00:12:04,448 --> 00:12:08,300 There were asked if it was patriotic or unpatriotic? 355 00:12:08,368 --> 00:12:09,061 Yeah. 356 00:12:09,148 --> 00:12:10,262 It's a television show. 357 00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:11,670 It's not the Iwo Jima Memorial. 358 00:12:11,785 --> 00:12:14,142 Those were the only two choices they were given? 359 00:12:14,237 --> 00:12:16,422 Jack wanted you to see the results. 360 00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:17,491 Get it out of here! 361 00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:19,891 I don't want the cast to see it, the staff, the crew, 362 00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:21,682 the critics and mostly, 363 00:12:21,717 --> 00:12:22,852 I don't want him to see it. 364 00:12:24,956 --> 00:12:25,502 All right. 365 00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:27,922 No. 366 00:12:28,596 --> 00:12:29,172 What? 367 00:12:29,177 --> 00:12:30,743 I want to see it. 368 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,083 Page seven at the bottom. 369 00:12:48,747 --> 00:12:48,740 {PUB} 370 00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:52,900 What'd you expect it to say? 371 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:53,692 Hmm? 372 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,453 What did you expect it to say? 373 00:12:55,717 --> 00:12:57,093 This. I expected it to say this. 374 00:12:57,198 --> 00:12:57,950 So what do you care? 375 00:12:58,026 --> 00:12:59,843 I care because Jack put the question in. 376 00:12:59,955 --> 00:13:01,280 Not sales, not marketing, 377 00:13:01,388 --> 00:13:03,082 not whatever focus company they use. 378 00:13:03,207 --> 00:13:04,033 Viewer Strategies. 379 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:04,821 Not Viewer Strategies, 380 00:13:04,897 --> 00:13:06,921 it was Jack telling me I'm not American enough. 381 00:13:07,025 --> 00:13:10,550 Actually, it was 50% of respondents telling you you're not American enough. 382 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,571 - Throw it out. - They want to see my passport? 383 00:13:12,657 --> 00:13:16,510 They want to see you take fewer whacks at Bush, and it looks like they're getting their wish, 384 00:13:16,618 --> 00:13:17,413 so throw it out. 385 00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:19,593 It's four years ago all over again. 386 00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:20,723 What did you think it was going to be? 387 00:13:20,808 --> 00:13:21,860 Four years later. 388 00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:24,281 And by the way, I'd be happy to take shots at the Democrats, too, 389 00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:26,590 if only one of them would say or do something. 390 00:13:26,658 --> 00:13:27,902 Can I make a suggestion? 391 00:13:27,977 --> 00:13:28,521 What? 392 00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:29,253 Throw it out. 393 00:13:29,677 --> 00:13:30,781 I'm going back to work. 394 00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:31,401 Good. 395 00:13:32,596 --> 00:13:33,093 Wait. 396 00:13:33,408 --> 00:13:33,933 What? 397 00:13:34,078 --> 00:13:35,132 What'd you mean by, 398 00:13:35,277 --> 00:13:36,663 "It looks like they're getting their wish?" 399 00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:38,531 To see the show not take so many shots. 400 00:13:38,916 --> 00:13:39,881 They're getting their wish? 401 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,072 Looking at your board, 402 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,451 I see one political sketch. 403 00:13:42,457 --> 00:13:43,250 Yeah? 404 00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:44,452 - 12:55. - Yeah? 405 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,292 - The "Dump the Garbage" slot. - What are you saying? 406 00:13:46,297 --> 00:13:47,702 - Not saying anything. - Okay. 407 00:13:47,706 --> 00:13:49,831 It's just I can't remember sometimes. 408 00:13:49,878 --> 00:13:52,100 Are you a boy pussycat or a girl pussycat? 409 00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:53,370 - What the hell...? - You're a boy pussycat. 410 00:13:53,377 --> 00:13:54,483 Look. You're a pussy-boy. 411 00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:56,713 'Cause I put a Bush sketch at 12:55? 412 00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:57,240 Yeah. 413 00:13:57,245 --> 00:13:59,923 You know what else started in the 12:55? "Wayne's World." 414 00:14:00,177 --> 00:14:00,901 Good for them. 415 00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:02,152 You think... 416 00:14:02,248 --> 00:14:03,300 That you're a pussy boy? 417 00:14:03,316 --> 00:14:06,042 Ricky and Rod said you rejected every Bush sketch that got pitched last week. 418 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:06,823 They weren't funny. 419 00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:08,261 They would have been after you got done with them. 420 00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:09,241 You think I'm gun-shy? 421 00:14:09,246 --> 00:14:11,922 I think four years ago your career flash in front of your eyes. 422 00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:12,461 I did. 423 00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:13,163 And? 424 00:14:13,736 --> 00:14:15,512 It wasn't an easy career to come by. 425 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:17,622 Danny? 426 00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:18,370 Yeah? 427 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,602 Cal says he's got some word on the power outages 428 00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:23,422 and the stage wants to know when you want the cast back. 429 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:26,061 I'll talk to Cal, and 30 minutes for the cast. 430 00:14:28,216 --> 00:14:28,983 You need anything? 431 00:14:30,406 --> 00:14:31,002 Matt? 432 00:14:31,146 --> 00:14:35,671 Move the Rumsfeld sketch to the first half hour get me the staff, 433 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:40,842 a copy of every newspaper and a transcript of this morning's White Houspress briefing, 434 00:14:41,618 --> 00:14:42,293 please. 435 00:14:42,737 --> 00:14:43,271 Yeah. 436 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,613 You know what they do in Ealing, Missouri? 437 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,770 I know they don't do The Crucible. 438 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,041 Yeah, they don't appreciate Arthur Miller, Sim. 439 00:14:52,136 --> 00:14:53,073 Let's go get 'em. 440 00:14:53,188 --> 00:14:53,863 Look... 441 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,312 Bread. They make bread. 442 00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:56,401 It's a company town. 443 00:14:56,477 --> 00:14:58,142 There's a Hanover factory there. 444 00:14:58,186 --> 00:15:00,501 They make, slice, package and ship bread. 445 00:15:00,607 --> 00:15:01,502 Jean-o. 446 00:15:02,255 --> 00:15:03,490 - Listen... - Hang on. 447 00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,302 "Under proposed legislation, 448 00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:10,392 hunters in Wyoming can now carry automatic weapons and guns with silencers" to hunt bears. 449 00:15:10,607 --> 00:15:11,762 When asked to comment, 450 00:15:11,856 --> 00:15:14,820 a bear said, "Roar!" 451 00:15:16,438 --> 00:15:18,253 I can be funny while I'm doing it. 452 00:15:18,438 --> 00:15:21,473 No, you can't, and we're not going to Matt with "and the bear said, 'Roar.'" 453 00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,900 Roseanne Barr is releasing an album for children. 454 00:15:25,036 --> 00:15:25,841 I flatlined. 455 00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:28,551 What? 456 00:15:28,687 --> 00:15:30,281 I flatlined in the focus group. 457 00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:31,223 How do you know? 458 00:15:31,895 --> 00:15:33,343 Ricky and Ron gave me the dial groups. 459 00:15:33,625 --> 00:15:34,130 Man! 460 00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:34,992 It's all good. 461 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,323 And they're crazy about everybody, 462 00:15:36,386 --> 00:15:40,082 but "Commedia Dell'arte" flatlined and that was my only sketch last week. 463 00:15:40,088 --> 00:15:41,231 You can't look at it. 464 00:15:41,325 --> 00:15:43,083 Well, too late. 465 00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:44,561 It's a great charaer. 466 00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:46,132 Not according to the people watching it, 467 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,992 but the point is, I guess, 468 00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:50,233 that I'm the one who convinced Matt to do it-- 469 00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:51,180 I pitched it, 470 00:15:51,286 --> 00:15:52,341 I wrote the first draft, 471 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:53,181 Jeanie... 472 00:15:53,248 --> 00:15:54,673 and I told him it wasn't going to be ha-ha funny, 473 00:15:54,768 --> 00:15:58,253 but I did say that it was going to be funny and he believed me. 474 00:15:58,318 --> 00:16:00,650 Did it actually flatline or are you just...? 475 00:16:02,288 --> 00:16:04,311 I look like an idiot and I made him look like an idiot. 476 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:06,190 "Didn't get it." 477 00:16:06,288 --> 00:16:06,841 Yeah. 478 00:16:07,068 --> 00:16:07,873 "Boring." 479 00:16:08,288 --> 00:16:09,913 There's a word the networks like to hear. 480 00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:10,930 "Too smart." 481 00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:12,251 That's another word for boring. 482 00:16:12,378 --> 00:16:13,500 "Smart" as a pejorative. 483 00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:14,663 Look at the dials. 484 00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:15,860 She flatlined, 485 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,921 except for one guy in St. Louis and one guy in Atlanta. 486 00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:21,643 Well, I'll have plenty of time to personally perform it 487 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,580 for both of them in their living rooms. 488 00:16:23,745 --> 00:16:24,860 You can't look at it. 489 00:16:24,957 --> 00:16:26,811 It's not the fault of the focus data, Simon. 490 00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,263 You got to catch the ball when you ask for it. 491 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,531 You make more than your share of catches around here. 492 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:32,593 Damn it! 493 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,103 I don't know what to tell you guys. 494 00:16:38,768 --> 00:16:40,462 Either God's a little sweet on me today, 495 00:16:40,846 --> 00:16:42,382 he doesn't like Simon at all, 496 00:16:42,517 --> 00:16:45,123 or Jeanie, he disapproves of you sleeping with my ex-boyfriend. 497 00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:46,161 Harry... 498 00:16:46,168 --> 00:16:47,301 She's kidding. 499 00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:48,432 I am, baby. 500 00:16:48,597 --> 00:16:50,051 It's 'cause he doesn't like Simon at all. 501 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,520 Cal! 502 00:16:51,685 --> 00:16:52,300 Yeah?! 503 00:16:53,258 --> 00:16:54,001 What the hell? 504 00:16:54,397 --> 00:16:55,443 Well, here's the story, Danny. 505 00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:58,612 Last weekend's rainstorm loosened the soil and a 60-year-old palm tree 506 00:16:58,615 --> 00:17:00,923 fell on a transformer line next to the studio. 507 00:17:00,925 --> 00:17:01,941 Are they fixing it? 508 00:17:01,997 --> 00:17:04,112 In a manner of speaking, yeah. 509 00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:04,983 What does that mean? 510 00:17:05,077 --> 00:17:06,522 They don't know how to fix it. 511 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,003 How much about this do I want to know? 512 00:17:08,086 --> 00:17:09,060 As little as possible. 513 00:17:09,176 --> 00:17:10,113 Okay. 514 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:23,523 Oh. 515 00:17:23,946 --> 00:17:24,843 Electricity problems? 516 00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:25,913 How'd you guess? 517 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:27,692 Oh, I've got eyes everywhere. 518 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,802 What, they let you out for good behavior? 519 00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:31,261 Make all the funny jokes you want, 520 00:17:31,336 --> 00:17:32,800 but mine was booze eight years ago, 521 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,122 yours was coke two weeks ago. 522 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,230 How'd it get out? 523 00:17:36,358 --> 00:17:37,182 I don't know. 524 00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:38,713 You're in it now. 525 00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,603 Like I wasn't in it before. 526 00:17:42,618 --> 00:17:43,723 Will you come with me to see Matt? 527 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,660 How's the news division covering it? 528 00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:50,010 I've asked them not to cover it any differently than the other networks. 529 00:17:50,086 --> 00:17:51,492 It's not like they were waiting for my permission. 530 00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:54,170 Can I ask on any floor on any corridor 531 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:56,341 in any office of your building next door 532 00:17:56,357 --> 00:18:00,213 has the possibility been brought up that your DUI eight years ago was not news, 533 00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:01,262 it's entertainment? 534 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,223 I don't know, but that's why I'm here. 535 00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:04,040 Why? 536 00:18:04,045 --> 00:18:05,610 To make sure you guys are covering it. 537 00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:07,560 I don't want any special treatment. 538 00:18:07,577 --> 00:18:08,743 Well, you're not getting any, 539 00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:12,170 but I can also bet you that Matt's not planning on writing a sketch about it either. 540 00:18:12,386 --> 00:18:12,922 Why not? 541 00:18:13,587 --> 00:18:15,650 Tough to locate the humor in drunk driving. 542 00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,680 Tough to locate the humor in cocaine addiction, too, 543 00:18:17,785 --> 00:18:20,191 though, sounds like given enough time, you'd have no problem at all. 544 00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:22,511 What? I'm working! 545 00:18:22,556 --> 00:18:24,093 Oh, sorry. Hi. 546 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,221 I'll be out of your way in a minute. 547 00:18:25,328 --> 00:18:26,033 Sure. What do you need? 548 00:18:26,037 --> 00:18:28,153 She wants us to make fun of her. 549 00:18:28,156 --> 00:18:29,802 Okay, well, you're teeth are pretty big. 550 00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:30,581 No... 551 00:18:30,907 --> 00:18:33,920 She wants you to know it's okay with her if you make fun of her arrest. 552 00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:36,160 - Thanks, I can speak for myself. - Go ahead. 553 00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:37,780 My teeth are fine. 554 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:38,423 Okay. 555 00:18:38,478 --> 00:18:39,912 I'm saying you shouldn't give me special treatment. 556 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:43,123 No, 'cause I wouldn't want anyone to think I was a pussy-boy. 557 00:18:43,215 --> 00:18:44,080 You're a pussy-boy? 558 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,780 Don't worry about it. I'll be around. 559 00:18:45,878 --> 00:18:47,602 I'll be here trying to be more American. 560 00:18:47,607 --> 00:18:48,832 Throw it out, would you? 561 00:18:48,848 --> 00:18:50,293 You saw the focus data? 562 00:18:50,298 --> 00:18:52,053 Don't worry about it. Come on. 563 00:18:59,915 --> 00:19:01,451 You say "Don't worry about it" a lot. 564 00:19:01,556 --> 00:19:04,310 Yeah. Listen. What are they saying over there? 565 00:19:04,385 --> 00:19:06,131 What does our retention need to be on Friday? 566 00:19:06,215 --> 00:19:07,730 We put up great numbers last week. Run your show. 567 00:19:07,845 --> 00:19:08,900 That was a look-in audience. 568 00:19:09,136 --> 00:19:12,110 Wes, Matt and me coming back, "Crasy Christians." 569 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:13,393 That was a fake number. 570 00:19:13,507 --> 00:19:15,553 What percent do we need to retain this week? 571 00:19:15,965 --> 00:19:16,800 To do what? 572 00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:18,773 To keep you out of trouble. 573 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,181 That's nice. 574 00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:21,830 What percent, Jordan? What are they saying? 575 00:19:23,098 --> 00:19:24,520 Don't worry about it. 576 00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:30,641 {PUB} 577 00:19:30,685 --> 00:19:32,981 Well argued, sir. 578 00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:33,850 Audience? 579 00:19:33,888 --> 00:19:35,710 Science Schmience! 580 00:19:35,935 --> 00:19:37,052 Tom Cruise, 581 00:19:37,447 --> 00:19:39,393 Friday what causes depression? 582 00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:44,201 Have you studied the history of psychiatry? 583 00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:45,740 Camera Dress I have not. 584 00:19:45,748 --> 00:19:50,212 Well, then you don't know what you're talking about! 585 00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:52,473 I haven't said anything. 586 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:55,543 - Well, now you're just being glib. - Don't misunderstand. 587 00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:59,380 I like the certainty that the entire international medical community is wrong, 588 00:19:59,387 --> 00:20:01,372 but I'm gonna need an answer. 589 00:20:04,398 --> 00:20:06,342 We're in the middle of dress rehearsal. 590 00:20:06,348 --> 00:20:08,870 I know, but Matt's already posted the final board. 591 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,733 Yeah, we got our show. 592 00:20:10,887 --> 00:20:13,530 - We don't have a sketch on this week. - You and a lot of other people. 593 00:20:13,535 --> 00:20:15,310 What can I say, guys? It happens. 594 00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:17,883 Yeah, it happens a little more with Matt though, doesn't it? 595 00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:21,283 Well, he didn't take the job to be a traffic cop, he took it to write. 596 00:20:21,298 --> 00:20:23,083 Well, he took it 'cause he had to. 597 00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:28,731 No, I took it 'cause I had to. He took it voluntarily. Can I help you? 598 00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:30,070 Can we cut to the chase? 599 00:20:30,077 --> 00:20:32,663 Yeah, if it were up to me, we'd even cut the chase. 600 00:20:32,695 --> 00:20:36,641 What problem do the two of you have with the two of us and when is it going to stop? 601 00:20:36,647 --> 00:20:39,641 Whoa, whoa, first of all, Matt and I are two separate people. 602 00:20:39,648 --> 00:20:42,753 Don't paint us with the same brush. Matt has a problem with you. 603 00:20:42,755 --> 00:20:44,752 I'm completely indifferent towards you. 604 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,950 Was that supposed to be funny? 605 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:48,432 - Guys, I got to get back in there. - Danny... 606 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:54,663 Bill Maher, he made a politically incorrect observation on his own show, helpfully titled, 607 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:57,531 Politically Incorrectand the sky felldown on him. 608 00:20:57,568 --> 00:21:01,521 Matt was one of the first guys to take up his side, so the sky fell down on him. 609 00:21:01,565 --> 00:21:04,431 When AP asked you for a reaction quote, do you remember what you said? 610 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:08,650 It was more than four years ago, Danny. I have no earthly idea what I said. 611 00:21:08,697 --> 00:21:09,691 I do. 612 00:21:09,816 --> 00:21:10,431 Ron... 613 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:15,112 You said, "Matt Albie certainly doesn't speak for the cast crew and staff of Studio 60, 614 00:21:15,145 --> 00:21:19,770 whose thoughts and prayers were with the brave men and women who lost their lives on September 11th." 615 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,223 See? He got it word for word. 616 00:21:22,025 --> 00:21:25,363 Were Matt's thoughts and prayers not with the brave men and women 617 00:21:25,395 --> 00:21:26,993 who lost their lives on September 11th? 618 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:30,262 It was 9/11. Everyone was out of their friggin' minds. 619 00:21:30,307 --> 00:21:33,241 And by the way, I'm the one pushing the Bush sketches. 620 00:21:33,278 --> 00:21:36,322 Yeah, I imagine now that the President's approval rating is seven guys 621 00:21:36,325 --> 00:21:38,673 in Tupelo, Mississippi, the water feels a little safer. 622 00:21:38,687 --> 00:21:41,891 Anyway, he asked a question, so... 623 00:21:41,936 --> 00:21:45,181 - And how long is this going to go on? - That's entirely up to him. 624 00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:47,973 He needs us and you know it, too. 625 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,943 Nobody can write 90 minutes of television every week by themselves-- 626 00:21:50,947 --> 00:21:52,282 he'll be dead by his his sixth show. 627 00:21:52,288 --> 00:21:55,220 And when that happens, I'm sure you'll be ready to take his job. 628 00:21:55,227 --> 00:21:56,423 I got to go in. 629 00:21:59,675 --> 00:22:04,593 Is it possle that Haji here and I are the two least-crazy people on this panel? 630 00:22:04,637 --> 00:22:07,392 It's a pretty tight raceon my scorecard, Schlomo. 631 00:22:07,575 --> 00:22:08,770 Cora Rae... 632 00:22:13,687 --> 00:22:14,872 Good evening. 633 00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:17,351 Jack. Shelly. This can only be good news. 634 00:22:17,388 --> 00:22:18,581 Nah, it's nothing. 635 00:22:18,706 --> 00:22:21,063 Shelly's drafted a brief but courteous statement for the shareholders. 636 00:22:21,066 --> 00:22:22,771 I need you to sign off on it. 637 00:22:22,807 --> 00:22:25,942 We can't use the same brief but courteous statement I gave to NBS Sunrise, 638 00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:28,192 NBS Nightly News, CNBS and FN-NBS? 639 00:22:28,236 --> 00:22:29,912 It should be different for the shareholders. 640 00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:32,393 It's gotten pretty mangled in the last 48 hours. 641 00:22:32,748 --> 00:22:36,442 The Post has a picture of me in New York last May at one of the parties for the Upfronts. 642 00:22:36,445 --> 00:22:39,810 I'm holding a dirty martini, rocks, two olives and the caption says 643 00:22:39,857 --> 00:22:43,252 the arrest occurred "hours after this picture was taken at Cipriani." 644 00:22:43,867 --> 00:22:46,903 The picture was taken five months ago. The arrest was eight years ago, 645 00:22:46,905 --> 00:22:48,950 and the restaurant I'm standing in is 21. 646 00:22:51,215 --> 00:22:52,202 This is fine. 647 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:55,100 It's just one of those things that's reached a critical mass. 648 00:22:55,106 --> 00:22:56,553 At least I hope it has. 649 00:22:56,597 --> 00:23:00,503 He means it's a lot easier to play defense if we know what's coming. 650 00:23:00,537 --> 00:23:01,872 Well, I didn't know this was coming. 651 00:23:01,877 --> 00:23:03,070 You should have. 652 00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:05,611 You can send this out now. 653 00:23:14,725 --> 00:23:17,623 I think you know how The Smoking Gun got tipped to the DUI. 654 00:23:18,537 --> 00:23:20,472 A guy named Ryan Mulrooney? 655 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,313 When I was 25, we were married for nine months. 656 00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:28,160 I pay him alimony. Or I did until the court said I didn't have to anymore. 657 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:32,531 That's something you didn't mention during any of your five interviews for this job. 658 00:23:32,567 --> 00:23:35,340 - Can you blame me? - He's found a new source of income. 659 00:23:35,377 --> 00:23:38,202 - A $500 tip-off? - No, he's shopping a book. 660 00:23:38,237 --> 00:23:39,372 What are you talking about? 661 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:42,913 Confessions of a Network Husband: My life with Jordan McDeere. 662 00:23:50,628 --> 00:23:52,070 Do you need a minute? 663 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,033 No. When did this happen? 664 00:23:56,077 --> 00:23:57,632 Shelly's been putting the pieces together. 665 00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:59,632 He's been taking stories to the gossip guys 666 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:02,582 in the hope he'll generate some heat for the publishers. If not, he'll self-publish. 667 00:24:02,586 --> 00:24:03,420 What does that mean? 668 00:24:03,428 --> 00:24:06,473 He'll put it on the Internet and charge for people to read it. 669 00:24:08,185 --> 00:24:09,930 Is it going to be worth paying for? 670 00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:16,030 Yeah. 671 00:24:18,098 --> 00:24:19,940 He wanted me to go to clubs with him. 672 00:24:19,966 --> 00:24:21,131 What kind of clubs? 673 00:24:21,138 --> 00:24:23,120 - Golf, tennis, wine-tasting. - Hey! Jordan. 674 00:24:23,138 --> 00:24:25,531 The kind where you watch other people having sex. 675 00:24:29,177 --> 00:24:30,943 I was 25. I married a slug. 676 00:24:30,976 --> 00:24:33,523 So did my wife, but I don't make her go to Plato's Retreat. 677 00:24:33,527 --> 00:24:36,020 You make her go to the People's Choice Awards, that's not bad enough? 678 00:24:36,026 --> 00:24:38,302 You think this is the right time to adopt a playful attitude? 679 00:24:38,318 --> 00:24:41,800 I think it's my pants everyone's standing in and I'll adopt whatever attitude gets me through the day. 680 00:24:41,818 --> 00:24:43,012 Yeah. All right. 681 00:24:44,235 --> 00:24:45,433 You're right. 682 00:24:46,548 --> 00:24:49,033 First thing Monday, you sit down with Shelly, 683 00:24:49,066 --> 00:24:52,760 your lawyer and our lawyer and you tell them every detail you can think of. 684 00:24:55,756 --> 00:24:57,740 Okay, but there's going to need to be an open bar. 685 00:24:57,935 --> 00:24:59,201 And keep the whimsy. 686 00:25:01,398 --> 00:25:02,390 Jack? 687 00:25:02,685 --> 00:25:03,681 Yeah? 688 00:25:04,387 --> 00:25:06,721 What percent of Studio 60's audience do I need to retain 689 00:25:06,726 --> 00:25:08,603 to keep playing tough with the Chrisan right? 690 00:25:08,605 --> 00:25:12,050 You need to retain 90% to keep playing at all. 691 00:25:21,095 --> 00:25:22,340 - Good dress! - Yes. 692 00:25:22,556 --> 00:25:23,983 It'll be another good show. 693 00:25:23,985 --> 00:25:25,733 How important is the ratings drop-off gonna be? 694 00:25:25,735 --> 00:25:28,122 - Don't worry about it. - Well, that's good enough for me. 695 00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:30,090 - You know what you have to do? - What? 696 00:25:30,127 --> 00:25:31,701 Let Ricky and Ron off the hook. 697 00:25:31,736 --> 00:25:33,481 No, I don't think I have to do that. 698 00:25:33,497 --> 00:25:34,833 Yeah. It's time. 699 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:38,761 You know what? A hundred years ago Gary Marshall rewrote an episode of Happy Days or something 700 00:25:38,768 --> 00:25:40,672 and kept their name on it and they won an Emmy. 701 00:25:40,678 --> 00:25:42,363 They've been eating lunch off it ever since. 702 00:25:42,366 --> 00:25:46,601 I think Ricky and Ron were about ten when Happy Days was on, but I get the idea. 703 00:25:46,676 --> 00:25:47,531 Use them anyway. 704 00:25:47,535 --> 00:25:48,923 - Why? - 'Cause you're gonna burn out. 705 00:25:48,928 --> 00:25:49,832 I'm not. 706 00:25:49,837 --> 00:25:53,030 Then do it 'cause I'm smarter than you and I'm asking you nicely. 707 00:25:53,068 --> 00:25:55,710 The drop-off-- you think inside 10%, 90% retention? 708 00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:56,983 Don't worry about it. 709 00:25:56,987 --> 00:25:57,831 Excuse me. 710 00:25:57,835 --> 00:25:58,801 You should be downstairs. 711 00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:00,330 No, Matt, you gotta take it down off the board. 712 00:26:00,338 --> 00:26:01,722 - No. - Matt. What are you talking about? 713 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,911 She saw the focus data on "Commedia dell'Arte." 714 00:26:03,918 --> 00:26:06,400 - Oh, man. This is exactly why... - You can't keep it in the show, Matt. 715 00:26:06,406 --> 00:26:08,532 There were three sketches that got bigger laughs at dress, 716 00:26:08,535 --> 00:26:10,440 which isn't saying much because "Commedia" got no laughs. 717 00:26:10,446 --> 00:26:11,913 Which means it's not that kind of funny. 718 00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:14,000 Or it's not funny at all and I'm dragging the show down. 719 00:26:14,008 --> 00:26:16,021 Can we have this conversation moving? 720 00:26:17,287 --> 00:26:18,623 I flatlined. 721 00:26:18,946 --> 00:26:21,333 "Boring" was a word that was used to describe it. 722 00:26:21,338 --> 00:26:23,333 Some people just don't get Moliere parodies. 723 00:26:23,338 --> 00:26:26,170 He's right, even though Moliere was a French playwright from a different century 724 00:26:26,178 --> 00:26:28,382 who had nothing to do with Italian commedia dell'arte. 725 00:26:28,385 --> 00:26:29,060 Matt. 726 00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:32,812 It's an acquired taste, Jeannie, but once you acquire it, it's like barrel-smoked whiskey. 727 00:26:32,817 --> 00:26:33,492 What's that? 728 00:26:33,495 --> 00:26:35,933 I don't know. I may have just made it up. What gets smoked in barrels? 729 00:26:35,935 --> 00:26:38,521 - Scotch. - Scotch is whiskey. It's Scotch whiskey. 730 00:26:38,565 --> 00:26:40,520 - Look... - How can you think Moliere, 731 00:26:40,568 --> 00:26:43,270 who wrote in rhyming couplets, was even remotely connected... 732 00:26:43,277 --> 00:26:44,873 You're wrong about that. He does have a connection. 733 00:26:44,875 --> 00:26:46,073 Idiot boys! 734 00:26:48,097 --> 00:26:49,540 - She's talking to us? - Yeah. 735 00:26:51,086 --> 00:26:54,011 I flatlined. Nobody liked it. 736 00:26:54,048 --> 00:26:56,553 That's not true. One guy in St. Louis and one guy in Atlanta. 737 00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:58,352 Could you please be serious? 738 00:26:58,387 --> 00:26:59,582 Look at me. 739 00:26:59,915 --> 00:27:02,750 The network's doing another dial group tonight because, 740 00:27:02,797 --> 00:27:05,071 well, because they just can't help themselves. 741 00:27:05,085 --> 00:27:06,362 They're doing it during the live show, 742 00:27:06,366 --> 00:27:09,503 so we'll have the results roughly the same time we have the ratings. 743 00:27:09,508 --> 00:27:12,832 The focus group is made up entirely of people who saw last week's show. 744 00:27:12,835 --> 00:27:15,881 The two people who liked it last week is gonna go up to three. 745 00:27:16,085 --> 00:27:19,792 That one person is going to represent an additional 500,000 viewers. 746 00:27:20,426 --> 00:27:23,820 If it doesn't go up to three, I'm gonna give you $10,000 cash. 747 00:27:24,595 --> 00:27:25,883 That serious enough? 748 00:27:26,517 --> 00:27:30,211 If the two doesn't go to three, I give you $10,000. 749 00:27:30,256 --> 00:27:33,813 If it does, you have to wear a T-shirt at the wrap party that says, 750 00:27:33,847 --> 00:27:37,123 "Matt is my hero and Danny thinks Moliere was Italian." 751 00:27:37,885 --> 00:27:40,082 I'm having wardrobe make the shirt right now. 752 00:27:41,065 --> 00:27:42,063 Matt... 753 00:27:44,267 --> 00:27:47,251 Commit to it. You're gonna feel a strong instinct to make it bigger-- 754 00:27:47,256 --> 00:27:51,753 fight that with everything you got. No comedian you admire has ever been afraid of silence. 755 00:27:51,758 --> 00:27:53,320 - Okay? - Yeah. 756 00:27:53,728 --> 00:27:55,901 Don't forget to breathe before you go out there. 757 00:28:01,897 --> 00:28:04,423 Hey, you know what worked at dress? The Ealing, Missouri joke. 758 00:28:04,425 --> 00:28:07,523 Yeah. The school play, the whole run, and it was all you-- I didn't even touch it. 759 00:28:07,527 --> 00:28:09,680 - Yes, it worked very well. - We want to cut it. 760 00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:11,483 - I'm sorry? - We want to cut it. 761 00:28:11,518 --> 00:28:13,462 - Why? - Because we're just that stupid. 762 00:28:13,777 --> 00:28:15,941 Somebody tell me what's going on? 763 00:28:15,975 --> 00:28:19,411 It's a funny joke, but it's not a good joke and I'd like 15 seconds to tell you why. 764 00:28:19,416 --> 00:28:22,063 - Okay. - Ealing is a town of fewer than 4,000 people. 765 00:28:22,066 --> 00:28:25,173 More than half the adult population work in the Hanover Bakery plant, 766 00:28:25,175 --> 00:28:27,462 and the average income is $18,000 a year. 767 00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:30,840 or roughly the same thing I'll be paid to perform this show tonight. 768 00:28:30,846 --> 00:28:32,582 Why are we making fun of them? 769 00:28:32,938 --> 00:28:36,381 "Crazy Christians," "Science Schmience," Bush and the Republicans, that's all fair game. 770 00:28:36,388 --> 00:28:37,882 That's hypocrisy and power. 771 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:40,210 These guys are just trying to raise their kids. 772 00:28:40,695 --> 00:28:42,880 Why can't the school do whatever play it wants? 773 00:28:42,885 --> 00:28:44,051 You let her win this argument? 774 00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:46,041 She can makes the lights go on and off by herself. 775 00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:47,250 That's true. 776 00:28:48,036 --> 00:28:52,031 When you find yourself losing one of these, shout my name-- I will come. 777 00:28:52,068 --> 00:28:53,613 She was my girlfriend for a while. 778 00:28:53,615 --> 00:28:56,230 I'm very good at demonstrating to her that she's always wrong. 779 00:28:56,238 --> 00:28:59,330 She's not this time, and it's our first shot at the desk, so... 780 00:29:03,537 --> 00:29:05,683 All right. What are you gonna fill it with? 781 00:29:06,826 --> 00:29:11,253 New legislation in Wyoming will allow bear hunters to carry automatic weapons with silencers. 782 00:29:11,257 --> 00:29:14,520 When asked to comment, a bear said, "Roar!" 783 00:29:22,305 --> 00:29:24,550 - You know she's gonna make it work. - I know. 784 00:29:27,325 --> 00:29:29,810 We're cutting the Ealing High School joke from News 60. 785 00:29:29,818 --> 00:29:31,063 - Why? - Because they make bread or something. 786 00:29:31,065 --> 00:29:33,113 Anybody else have anything funny they want to cut? 787 00:29:33,118 --> 00:29:35,603 Tell me the truth. You've talked to them; tell me the truth. 788 00:29:35,605 --> 00:29:37,162 How important is audience retention tonight? 789 00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:39,720 It's important, Matt. We can't lose more than 10%. 790 00:29:39,757 --> 00:29:43,180 What do you think? The sponsors, the affiliates, the press, the right, our job, 791 00:29:43,185 --> 00:29:45,763 Jordan's job, everybody's job. It's important. 792 00:29:46,686 --> 00:29:48,450 - All right, lie to me next time. - That's what I'm saying. 793 00:29:48,468 --> 00:29:49,910 All right! Huddle up! 794 00:30:01,707 --> 00:30:01,701 {PUB} 795 00:30:02,156 --> 00:30:05,040 Live from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, it's Friday night in Hollywood. 796 00:30:05,047 --> 00:30:08,443 with Harriet Hayes, Simon Stiles, Tom Jeter. 797 00:30:08,827 --> 00:30:10,942 Jeannie Whatley. Alex Dwyer. 798 00:30:11,177 --> 00:30:13,562 Dylan Killington. Samantha Li. 799 00:30:13,818 --> 00:30:18,020 With musical guest Gwen Stefani and guest host Rob Reiner. 800 00:30:18,076 --> 00:30:20,291 Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Reiner! 801 00:30:24,268 --> 00:30:25,460 Thank you! 802 00:30:30,727 --> 00:30:32,171 Thank you very much. 803 00:30:35,665 --> 00:30:40,531 Welcome to The Nicholas Cage Show. 804 00:30:41,108 --> 00:30:43,581 I am Nicholas Cage. 805 00:30:43,615 --> 00:30:44,922 Panteloni Bisognosi. 806 00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:48,233 I shall hereby dedicate the very bile that courses through these veins 807 00:30:48,237 --> 00:30:52,771 to conquer this demon as I conquered the League of Cognac in the Sack of Rome. 808 00:30:52,808 --> 00:30:55,300 Nobody here has any idea what you're talking about. 809 00:30:58,486 --> 00:30:59,012 Simon? 810 00:30:59,017 --> 00:31:01,662 Roseanne Barr is releasing an album for children. 811 00:31:02,147 --> 00:31:05,881 We don't have a joke here. We just mention this as a public service warning to parents. 812 00:31:05,886 --> 00:31:06,500 Harriet? 813 00:31:06,508 --> 00:31:11,043 At the UN today, Secretary General Kofi Annan called on participants at a Mid East conference 814 00:31:11,045 --> 00:31:13,012 for an immediate ceasefire and... 815 00:31:17,427 --> 00:31:19,351 Here we go. One up. 816 00:31:20,606 --> 00:31:23,572 Ladies and gentlemen, Gwen Stefani. 817 00:31:33,555 --> 00:31:35,231 Get in the hole! 818 00:31:41,417 --> 00:31:43,153 Now I'll take your questions. 819 00:31:43,187 --> 00:31:45,401 Sir, what is the White House response 820 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:49,491 to Republican Congressman Robert Ivers plea for a plan that would withdraw the troops from Iraq? 821 00:31:49,498 --> 00:31:52,380 I have great respect for Congressman Ivers, which is why we're surprised 822 00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:54,931 to hear him taking a position shared by Michael Moore. Judy. 823 00:31:54,936 --> 00:31:57,773 And what about Senator Richmond no longer supporting the president's position on... 824 00:31:57,778 --> 00:32:00,742 Cora Rae, what caused Hurricane Katrina? 825 00:32:00,788 --> 00:32:05,183 Warm, moist air rising to high-altitude winds, along with differences in air pressure, 826 00:32:05,186 --> 00:32:06,633 or "pressure gradients." 827 00:32:06,648 --> 00:32:08,511 No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect. 828 00:32:08,545 --> 00:32:13,820 We were looking for "Secularists eroding God's protective shell over America." 829 00:32:14,075 --> 00:32:15,271 Tom Cruise. 830 00:32:17,088 --> 00:32:17,970 Pimp My Strike boys and girls, 831 00:32:17,985 --> 00:32:21,372 bringing you the candy apple flavor flavto your fly three-wheeler, 832 00:32:21,416 --> 00:32:23,201 hydraulics for the big wheel 833 00:32:23,785 --> 00:32:26,810 and funky speakers for your Huffy custom. 834 00:32:28,396 --> 00:32:30,170 Thank you! Thank you, everyone! 835 00:32:30,965 --> 00:32:32,623 Thank you, Gwen Stefani! 836 00:32:33,168 --> 00:32:35,692 From the cast and the crew... 837 00:32:35,977 --> 00:32:39,961 from Matt Albie, Danny Tripp... Thank you! 838 00:32:40,066 --> 00:32:43,882 Thank you, everybody! Good night! We love you! 839 00:32:54,387 --> 00:32:56,112 Hey, we're down on the West Coast. 840 00:32:58,895 --> 00:33:00,792 - Hi. - Hi. 841 00:33:00,836 --> 00:33:02,280 You were great tonight. 842 00:33:02,576 --> 00:33:04,070 I had some timing problems. 843 00:33:04,115 --> 00:33:06,651 - Did you? - Have we met? 844 00:33:06,696 --> 00:33:08,152 No, I'm crashing the party. 845 00:33:08,367 --> 00:33:09,561 How'd you get in? 846 00:33:09,956 --> 00:33:11,152 Look at me. 847 00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:14,423 Good point. 848 00:33:14,975 --> 00:33:19,210 So how long does it usually take you to get over your "timing problems"? 849 00:33:20,026 --> 00:33:21,221 A little while. 850 00:33:21,665 --> 00:33:23,110 But it was nice meeting you. 851 00:33:32,697 --> 00:33:35,242 Danny! Danny! Could you sign this for me? 852 00:33:35,626 --> 00:33:36,622 Sure. 853 00:33:37,878 --> 00:33:39,073 Hey, good show. 854 00:33:40,438 --> 00:33:42,262 News S-60 Producter Tests Positive for Cocaine 855 00:33:47,497 --> 00:33:48,632 44-45 856 00:33:53,795 --> 00:33:54,762 Are they in yet? 857 00:33:54,765 --> 00:33:56,213 - What? - Are they in yet? 858 00:33:56,816 --> 00:33:58,871 Do you see me standing near a fax machine? 859 00:33:58,917 --> 00:34:02,013 I see you standing by a concierge desk of a hotel. 860 00:34:02,058 --> 00:34:04,910 - I didn't immediately put it together that... - The West Coast just came down two minutes ago. 861 00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:08,612 Then it gets electronically routed through some... central computer that... 862 00:34:09,888 --> 00:34:12,033 - I don't know. - Oh, I can tell. 863 00:34:12,076 --> 00:34:14,351 Jack gets them before me. They'll fax it here. 864 00:34:15,678 --> 00:34:17,831 I'm sorry about the stupid thing I said in your office. 865 00:34:17,837 --> 00:34:19,033 About the drugs. 866 00:34:20,466 --> 00:34:23,153 30,000 people died in car fatalities last year. 867 00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,541 17,000 of them weren't wearing seat belts. 868 00:34:25,586 --> 00:34:26,650 What does that have to do with anything? 869 00:34:26,657 --> 00:34:30,701 No, it's just, you read it all the time. Two guys in a car, one's wearing a seat belt, 870 00:34:30,708 --> 00:34:35,420 the other one isn't, they're doing 60 down Mulholland they blow into a telephone pole. 871 00:34:35,455 --> 00:34:39,102 The guy wearing the seat belt's got two bruised ribs, cut on his forehead. 872 00:34:39,458 --> 00:34:42,120 And the guy without the seat belt gets decapitated. 873 00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:44,140 - I was wearing a seat belt. - I'm sure you were. 874 00:34:44,147 --> 00:34:47,791 I'm just not as sure that everyone else on the Long Island Expressway was. 875 00:34:47,918 --> 00:34:50,743 When I put a life in danger, it's my own. 876 00:34:52,396 --> 00:34:55,531 Anyway, I appreciate your standing up for "Crazy Christians." 877 00:34:55,576 --> 00:34:58,372 I know you only did it to get Matt and me back 878 00:34:58,418 --> 00:35:01,061 and I know it's what's keeping you in trouble. 879 00:35:01,106 --> 00:35:02,672 I didn't do it to get you and Matt back, 880 00:35:02,676 --> 00:35:05,372 and the Christian right isn't why I'm in trouble today. 881 00:35:07,637 --> 00:35:09,081 I'll see you outside. 882 00:35:10,365 --> 00:35:14,860 You know, you... look like one of them, but you talk like one of us. 883 00:35:32,858 --> 00:35:36,262 You know, I did Midsummer Night's Dream in the park two summers ago. 884 00:35:37,367 --> 00:35:40,340 You think they know in Ealing, Missouri that the play's about a bunch of people 885 00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:43,143 who basically take ecstasy and all sleep with each other? 886 00:35:43,166 --> 00:35:45,020 - I was Helena. - I was there. 887 00:35:46,027 --> 00:35:49,420 "So I, admiring of his qualities: 888 00:35:49,425 --> 00:35:51,221 Things base and vile, 889 00:35:51,576 --> 00:35:53,250 holding no quantity, 890 00:35:53,697 --> 00:35:56,371 love can transpose to form and dignity. 891 00:35:56,416 --> 00:35:57,913 What ho, Puck!"* 892 00:35:58,715 --> 00:36:00,010 I knew I'd get you. 893 00:36:00,058 --> 00:36:01,502 I knew you'd get me, too. 894 00:36:02,946 --> 00:36:06,641 Matthew, you gotta see that the focus group stuff doesn't get out to the cast anymore. 895 00:36:06,645 --> 00:36:08,211 That shouldn't have happened. 896 00:36:08,496 --> 00:36:10,941 Danny talked to Ricky and Ron. I'm sorry about that. 897 00:36:10,947 --> 00:36:12,592 How does it work? Who does it? 898 00:36:12,627 --> 00:36:14,072 - The focus groups? - Yeah. 899 00:36:14,095 --> 00:36:17,363 They contract it out. NBS uses a group called Viewer Strategies. 900 00:36:17,526 --> 00:36:19,021 And they make up the questions? 901 00:36:19,026 --> 00:36:21,452 Yeah, but then anybody can feed them questions they want answered. 902 00:36:21,458 --> 00:36:24,983 Jack, Jordan, Sales, Promo-- Danny and I can ask questions. 903 00:36:25,028 --> 00:36:27,071 If I want to know what people think of... 904 00:36:31,557 --> 00:36:33,033 What people think of what? 905 00:36:38,267 --> 00:36:39,463 Excuse me. 906 00:36:46,877 --> 00:36:49,250 I'm three years younger and I'm faster than you, old man. 907 00:36:49,258 --> 00:36:52,250 I'm three years older and I'm stronger than you, little boy. 908 00:36:52,296 --> 00:36:53,790 You put the question in there! 909 00:36:53,968 --> 00:36:55,112 - Yes, I did! - Why?! 910 00:36:55,398 --> 00:36:56,631 Because it worked! 911 00:36:57,266 --> 00:36:59,220 It's not gonna be like it was four years ago. 912 00:36:59,225 --> 00:37:02,990 I won't let it happen. After what you did for I won't let it happen. 913 00:37:05,416 --> 00:37:07,163 Are people looking at us right now? 914 00:37:08,078 --> 00:37:08,953 I think they are. 915 00:37:08,957 --> 00:37:10,690 Well, could you punch me in the face or something, 916 00:37:10,706 --> 00:37:14,533 'cause to a casual observer this appears a little homoerotic for my comfort. 917 00:37:14,578 --> 00:37:17,402 I definitely hear you on that. What should we do? 918 00:37:17,436 --> 00:37:18,632 Get off of me. 919 00:37:24,628 --> 00:37:26,392 All right, just play it cool. 920 00:37:26,427 --> 00:37:27,423 Yeah. 921 00:37:32,367 --> 00:37:34,902 I think this is what you're waiting for, Ms. McDeere. 922 00:37:34,907 --> 00:37:36,353 Do you remember Vernon Williams? 923 00:37:36,356 --> 00:37:38,890 Station owner at WTIH in Terre Haute? 924 00:37:38,938 --> 00:37:39,442 Yeah. 925 00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:41,461 Poor guy's gotta keep calling us on his cell phone 926 00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,431 because his station lines are jammed with angry calls. 927 00:37:43,435 --> 00:37:44,701 497 tonight. 928 00:37:45,128 --> 00:37:47,882 Oh, God, Jack, Terre Haute didn't even carry the show tonight. 929 00:37:47,888 --> 00:37:49,540 Why the hell are the callers complaining? 930 00:37:49,545 --> 00:37:51,991 Because Terre Haute didn't carry the show tonight. 931 00:37:53,948 --> 00:37:56,290 Audience retention? Did we stay inside 90%? 932 00:37:56,328 --> 00:37:58,420 We actually did a little better than that? 933 00:37:59,217 --> 00:38:01,372 We retained 109% of last week's audience. 934 00:38:01,817 --> 00:38:04,580 Five-seven in the households, 19 share, three-one in the demo. 935 00:38:04,586 --> 00:38:05,781 We kept the kids. 936 00:38:05,938 --> 00:38:07,131 And then some. 937 00:38:08,216 --> 00:38:10,361 It was our biggest Friday night in 14 years. 938 00:38:11,828 --> 00:38:13,270 Go ahead and spread the word. 939 00:38:20,657 --> 00:38:24,702 We built by nine percent over last week, including a point and a half in the demo. 940 00:38:28,357 --> 00:38:29,552 Thank you. 941 00:38:30,828 --> 00:38:32,421 What the hell happened to the two of you? 942 00:38:32,425 --> 00:38:35,401 He is a Machiavellian control freak who purposely and premeditatedly... 943 00:38:35,408 --> 00:38:36,851 I don't care. Harriet! 944 00:38:43,885 --> 00:38:44,633 It's going well. 945 00:38:44,635 --> 00:38:45,633 Yeah. 946 00:38:48,365 --> 00:38:49,441 What are you thinking? 947 00:38:49,448 --> 00:38:51,492 That we both know the same thing. 948 00:38:51,978 --> 00:38:53,170 What's that? 949 00:38:53,755 --> 00:38:56,703 There's only one direction this story can go from here. 950 00:38:56,815 --> 00:39:00,471 Tonight you're mine... 951 00:39:00,555 --> 00:39:03,073 completely 952 00:39:06,407 --> 00:39:09,753 You give your love 953 00:39:09,766 --> 00:39:12,140 so sweetly 954 00:39:14,116 --> 00:39:16,502 Tonight 955 00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:22,882 the light of love is in your eyes 956 00:39:24,437 --> 00:39:31,732 Will you still love me tomorrow 957 00:39:33,447 --> 00:39:42,343 Is this a lasting treasure 958 00:39:42,345 --> 00:39:48,493 Or just a moment's pleasure? 959 00:39:50,047 --> 00:39:58,671 Can I believe the magic of your sighs, 960 00:40:00,025 --> 00:40:07,163 Will you still love me tomorrow 961 00:40:09,618 --> 00:40:15,343 Tonight with words unspoken 962 00:40:17,787 --> 00:40:23,153 You say that I'm the only one 963 00:40:26,538 --> 00:40:32,330 But will my heart be broken, 964 00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:33,992 I don't know 965 00:40:34,305 --> 00:40:41,423 When the night meets the morning sun? 966 00:40:44,285 --> 00:40:50,490 I'd like to know that your love 967 00:40:53,206 --> 00:40:59,522 Is a love I can be sure of, 968 00:41:01,358 --> 00:41:09,393 So tell me now and I won't ask, I won't ask again 969 00:41:10,958 --> 00:41:14,551 Will you still love me... 970 00:41:15,915 --> 00:41:19,940 Tomorrow... 971 00:41:28,495 --> 00:41:32,992 Merci à Raceman pour le transcript... .:: www.forom.com ::.