Tuft off a recently decapitated Indian...
25¢.
Authentic heathen hair tufts.
Head brought to camp same day
as Wild Bill Hickok was killed.
25¢ a tuft,
or five tufts for $1.
25¢ a tuft!
Don't miss your chance at a fine souvenir, boys,
authentic heathen hair tufts.
Send them east to friends and family.
And if you was to say in your letter
with the tufts inside it,
it was you who cut the cocksucker's head off,
who'd be there to gainsay it?
Anyone may join the jurors' line.
Only those admitted to the bar
may join the line of candidates
for officers of the court.
Jurors will be drawn from the hat on my right.
Officers of the court, in the box on my left.
I have no say in either outcome,
so please don't try to bribe me.
- Newspaper fella seems a good sort. - He's all right.
How far into the process you think he'll stay involved?
Till them shysters take over.
I don't know what's become of the woman
who was Mr. Hickok's friend.
Probably drunk over his murder.
Well, there's a child to be considered.
And she couldn't be doing better.
Despite her situation.
I don't see your medicine.
No, I broke the bottle.
All right.
- No! - I don't know if this is the time
for you to stop taking this laudanum.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise, Doctor.
to hear you admit the limits of your knowledge.
Have you made any traveI plans?
Before his murder, Mr. Hickok arranged
that'll free you up to leave.
25¢, 25¢ a tuft!
Hair from the heathen dead less than one day.
25¢, 25¢ a tuft!
These are good boots you people sold me.
Glad you're satisfied.
Hair from a heathen dead less than one day!
Cut that shit out!
No law against me selling these, mister.
No law either against me breaking your fucking jaw
if you don't quit it!
Put him out here like a goddamned circus freak!
Whoa, I'm not making a penny from this.
People just wanted to pay their respects.
Well, I had him here around the side,
but they knocked the damn tent over.
Man has a powerfuI temper.
That hardware cocksucker's been an ongoing pain in my balls
since him and his partner showed up.
Where do you suppose that heathen's head got to
them tufts of hair came off of, Al?
Yeah, I don't know.
Didn't some Mexican bring the head in for bounty?
If it's important to you, I'll look it up in my yesterday's diary.
Couldn't matter less.
As far as the trial itself,
I got no problem acting as host.
Loss of revenues notwithstanding.
Well, I'm happy to have it at my joint,
but being you're senior in the community,
it seems somehow... out of place.
Anyways, we'll have it here.
But just let me say this once in your hearing.
For outright stupidity,
the whole fucking trial concept goes shoulder to shoulder
with Custer's thinking when he headed for that ridge.
It's got its disadvantages.
We're illegal.
Our whole goal is to get annexed to the United States.
We start holding trials,
what's to keep the United States Congress from saying,
"Oh excuse us, we didn't realize
you were a sovereign community and nation out there.
Where's your cocksucker's flag?
Where's your fucking navy or the like?
Maybe when we make our treaty with the Sioux,
we should treat you people like renegade Indians,
deny your gold and property claims and hand everything over instead
to our ne'er-do-well cousins and brother's-in-law"?
That we don't want.
But, if we're gonna have the fucking thing,
might as well have it in my joint, huh?
Tom Smith of Lead!
Juror number seven!
- How's business? - Hot and cold.
Struggling to get our craps concept off the ground.
That's the way with any new idea.
- Takes the hoople-heads time to adjust. - SamueI Smith.
Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head,
rob 'em and throw their bodies in the creek.
But that would be wrong.
Jay Johnson, Spearfish.
Juror number 10!
- Mr. Bullock? - Doc?
I just seen Mrs. Garret.
I've got a proxy for her to sign.
You oughta go ahead and get that done
so she can go ahead and leave camp.
Anything else on your schedule I'm behind on?
No, sir.
I will now draw from the lawyers' business cards in the box,
the presiding magistrate, prosecutor
and counseI for the defense.
After that part's over,
and not prejudging the evidence...
why don't we try the cocksucker at my place?
Second.
Officers of the court, magistrate...
There's a cripple who'd do,
if I could pry her from Mr. Swearengen.
How much money would loosen his grip?
More likely Al would bridle at breaking his routine.
He likes to berate the gimp mornings.
I cannot see to this child.
She needs someone less distracted.
I wish to see you extricated
from all these complications and difficulties, Mrs. Garret,
- as much as you do yourself. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Farnum.
And in that regard, wonder if you've
decided on my bid for your claim yet?
- Are you Mr. Bullock? - Yes.
I'm Alma Garret.
How do you do?
Please excuse me. I'm spread so thin with my cook out.
I got this for you to sign.
Have you a pen at the desk, Mr. Farnum?
Certainly.
Several days ago I watched you and Wild Bill Hickok
support each other in a gunfight from the window in my room.
Later, when Mr. Hickok
spoke so highly, Mr. Bullock, I-
I imagined it was you.
Mr. Bullock has authority to act
on my behalf on all matters relating to the claim.
I see.
In case you couldn't, I thought I'd tell you.
WonderfuI. One load off your back.
Let me see about getting you that cripple.
- Is he dead or alive? - He's sick.
And we ain't no hospital!
Number eight's relocating.
Bundle him up, put some of Leon's remedy down him
and take him to the hills.
Can someone else do it, Mr. Tolliver?
Sure they can.
Shall I get someone else to take him?
No, I'll do it.
And burn the blanket afterwards.
Thanks, Bart.
Some do get well, Cy.
His chances will improve outdoors.
The bracing air.
What are you moving the tables for?
You said you wanted the jury right here.
Can't they sit at separate tables?
Do you want the tables together or not?
I don't want anything done that can't be undone
five minutes after this fiasco concludes.
Clean somewhere where I can't see you.
Go on, get fucking!
Have patience with the widow, Al.
She's give her proxy to that hardware fella.
Hickok breaks my balls from the afterlife.
You feeI before he was murdered,
Hickok enlisted Bullock in the widow's cause?
Advance the subject or pick up a broom.
Signing a proxy don't mean the widow can't do a deal.
It just includes Bullock in.
If the widow trusts her own judgment,
she don't let Hickok bring the hardware cocksucker into it.
She's trying to get off the dope.
Maybe loaded
she'd get her self-confidence back.
Let me camp beneath her window and suggest that.
Hickok's half-woman friend's off somewheres on a tear.
The orphan squarehead's in the widow's care.
The widow feels put upon.
She's asked me to find her some help.
I suggested the gimp.
No!
So as not to put a whore up first off.
Now, I will propose Trixie.
As a get-acquainted gift,
she could bring the widow a good-sized ball of dope.
Yes.
Well thought through, E.B.
Tell the widow you have a candidate.
I have to go look to my roast.
My cook's on the queue to see Hickok's remains.
Then he'll probably sneak here for the trial.
Oops.
Reverend.
Uh, sir.
Sir, who stands for Mr. Hickok?
- What do you mean? - Mr. Utter has gone to Cheyenne.
And I don't find Mr. Hickok's woman friend.
Mr. Nuttall commissioned the coffin,
but wishes not to participate further.
Now I need guidance in certain matters.
But I don't know who stands for him.
What are you trying to find out?
For example, I thought "How Firm a Foundation. "
For the hymn.
Sounds a good choice.
- Do you think so? - Yes, I do.
Might something else be more appropriate?
- I don't know. - I think "How Firm a Foundation"
for the hymn and from the GospeI,
- First Corinthians 12. - All right.
"If the foot shall say 'Because I am not the hand,
I'm not of the body,' is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say 'Because I'm not the eye
I'm not of the body,' is it therefore not?
Now hath God set the members, every one of them,
in the body as it hath pleased Him. "
That is a good choice, Reverend.
12 and 13, I think.
Are we open for business?
- I know you. - I know you, too.
After bumrushin' me outta your fine hardware establishment,
you didn't see this comin', did you?
I halfway did, you droop-eyed cocksucker!
I was born droop-eyed, all right?
And who do you blame for the rest of the mess?
Let me ask you this, cocksucker,
you think they know me in New York City by now?
If you wasn't tied up I would kill ya!
Ow, what are you cryin' for?
- What? - I'm askin' what you're cryin' for?
Did you love Hickok so much?
Was you sweethearts?
Did he stick his dick up your ass?
Hey, Hey!
I'm this man's counseI.
They will pin a rose on you.
Boy, I'll shake your hand.
I'm all trussed up like a Christmas pig.
I would say you're better situated than your companions.
Well, I'm a hard case for you, Counselor.
And no mistake,
everyone in there saw me shoot him.
If you'll let me set our strategy,
I don't think we'll dispute what people saw.
Now, I guess you're here to break me out.
Son, did James Butler Hickok
ever kill a relative of yours?
James Butler Hickok?
Wild Bill Hickok.
Did he ever kill a brother of yours or the like?
- A brother? - I'm asking you
if what happened in that saloon
was vengeance for the death of a family member.
Possibly a brother in Abilene,
or the like.
A brother in Abilene.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, Jesus.
You all right?
Look, I'm sorry as hell about all this.
Sorry as hell.
I'm not gonna burn the fucking blanket. Fuck Cy!
Look, this is not my fucking fault.
It's not my fault.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, God take me!
What do you look at out there?
Whatever I can see.
Clean up.
Am I on jury duty?
Put on a decent enough dress to help a widow with a kid.
What widow in camp has a kid?
The widow is the New York dude's widow.
The kid is the orphan squarehead.
I didn't know she was caring for that child now.
Does it change what fucking dress you wear?
No.
Widow's a dope fiend. She's been drinking it.
Help her expand her horizons.
I see no guard outside of room eight.
Yeah, room eight left.
Borne by angels?
You don't have that man to worry about anymore.
You or me either. Just...
put the man in room eight from your mind.
I have no vaccine
for the sickness the man in room eight didn't have.
The closest place that does
to my knowledge, is Fort Kearney.
If you want to remedy
the epidemic that you have no reason to believe will break out,
I would send somebody there right away.
Heard you loud and clear, Doctor.
Will you send someone, Mr. Tolliver?
If I do, you'll be the first to know.
If you don't, and I have to,
that will be known to every damn person in this camp!
Joey?
You ever had Nebraska pussy?
Not to my knowledge, Mr. Tolliver.
Eddie Sawyer, get in here!
True or not, Eddie,
when a man wets his end in Nebraska pussy,
his life is changed forever.
Speaking only for myself,
I still mark the anniversary.
Well, point me in the right direction.
You hear that, Eddie?
Boy's got a healthy attitude.
Yes, sir?
Come here.
Get this outta here.
Get rid of it?
Did you hear me announce the other night
that I'd pay a $50 bounty for every Indian head?
- I was right next to you, Al. - That's the first head.
Some chili chomper's out there somewhere
right now spending my $50.
You get rid of that head, or you'd better know
of another place with a position open for an idiot.
All right.
Got a couple places I can keep it, I guess.
Yeah, till after the trial.
Well, what do you do with it then?
Put it somewhere in the bar?
It's a nice conversation piece.
I mean if it's handled the right way.
You have been tested, Al Swearengen.
And your deepest purposes
proved there's gold on the woman's claim.
You might as well have shouted it from the rooftops.
"That's why I'm jumping through hoops to get it back.
Thorough as I fleeced the fooI she married,
I will fleece his widow, too,
using loyal associates like
Eustace Bailey Farnum as my go-betweens and dupes.
To explain why I want her bought out,
I will make a pretext of my fear of the Pinkertons.
I will throw Farnum a token thief.
Why should I reward E.B.
with some small fractional
participation in the claim?
Or let him even lay by a little security
and source of continuing income for his declining years?
What's he ever done for me?
Except let me terrify him
every goddamned day of his life
till the idea of boweI regularity
is a forlorn fucking hope.
Not to mention ordering a man killed in one of E.B.'s rooms.
So every fucking free moment of his life
E.B. has to spend
scrubbing the bloodstains
off the goddamned floor!
To keep from...
having to lower his rates. "
God damn that motherfucker!
Rules of the court.
No nonsense.
Prosecution will open.
The defense will respond.
The jury will be charged and deliberate.
Go ahead.
We shoulder a great weight here today.
Now we're many of us miners,
but this is no claim dispute.
- Christmas. - Hmm?
We'll be here till fucking Christmas.
Yesterday,
a man of reputation was killed in this camp.
Now the killer had no reputation.
But the circumstances speak badly enough
about his character that,
in time to come, he may get one.
Now we all know that
even though the killer is a coward,
not all killings are murders.
You jurors have to decide if this killing was.
And your decision will come to this:
either a man giving you a dollar for breakfast
is provocation beyond endurance,
or Jack McCall shooting Wild Bill Hickok
was murder, pure and simple.
Picked up his pace towards the end.
Go ahead.
Sir.
Why'd you kill Hickok, Mr. McCall?
He murdered my brother in Kansas.
Murdered your brother in Kansas.
Thank you, son.
Hmm.
Don't count your fucking chickens.
Go ahead.
When did Hickok murder your brother, Mr. McCall?
In Kansas, Abilene.
Are you still drunk?
I said when?
I don't recall the exact year.
When they was both in Abilene.
And you were present?
Not at shooting, no.
But you were in Abilene at the time that this happened?
No, when the shooting happened, no.
Tell that judge I want to see him.
- Were you ever in Abilene? - Yes.
Well do you often play cards, McCall,
for three days with a man who murdered your brother
before in passion's white heat
you take your revenge?
No, it wasn't white heat.
I had to find my chance.
If that's it, I'm calling a break for nature
and we'll finish later.
Do you even have a brother, Mr. McCall?
Yeah, and Hickok killed him.
Break for nature.
Sir? Sir?
Bullet that killed Hickok is in my wrist.
Any chance I could testify?
McCall already admitted he killed Hickok.
Years to come when I'm giving talks or the like,
I'd appreciate if I'd be on the record.
There's $50 in it for you.
I'd be telling the truth, sir!
Mrs. Garret?
It's okay.
Who is it?
I'm sent to help you with the little one.
I'm Trixie.
Thank you for coming at such short notice, Trixie.
Ain't you pretty?
I'm sorry about your husband, ma'am.
It's good of you to care for the child.
I was under the impression you were hurt.
Ma'am?
Mr. Farnum said you had some sort of
physical liability?
I'm not her. She's lovely, though, JeweI.
May I wash her? Give her a nice bath?
Of course.
All right, little one.
She doesn't speak English.
I'm Trixie.
Trixie.
You want a blow job while I talk to you?
No.
I wasn't offering it personally.
Make your point.
My point is...
before a guilty verdict
would get executed on that cocksucker,
three men would walk in that meat locker where he's being held
with bags over their heads and cut his fucking throat.
Within half an hour those celestial little pigs
will be on their backs with their hooves in the air
belching up human remains.
Are you saying you'd order that to be done?
I'm saying I had a vision
it would happen.
My second of the day.
First come when I was watching
you and them lawyers on line this morning.
They began to slither in my sight like vipers.
So as not to puke I had to close my eyes.
The vision went on.
Got worse.
I saw the vipers in the big nest in Washington.
They were taking us in the camp
for acting like we could set our own laws up or organizations.
And then I saw the big viper decide to strangle
and swallow us up and every fucking thing we gain here.
It was horrible.
How could we fucking avoid it?
How could we let the vipers in the big nest know
that we didn't wanna cause any fucking trouble?
And that's when you had your second vision?
Yeah, the cutthroats and the pigs.
But who wants all that blood spilled, Judge?
Isn't there a simpler way
of not pissing off the big vipers?
I want to get back to the trial.
Go ahead.
How do you suppose the trial's going?
- I don't know. - Should've took him into the territory.
Hang 'em here, they'll be opening a can a worms.
Guess it's all a can a worms.
Now you're talking.
Will you help me with the body?
Good talk?
We'll see.
Mm.
You see that one?
Him, that one there in the middle.
- The curly hair? - Yeah, yeah.
Told me the other night how bad Hickok needed killing.
Yeah.
Said Hickok insulted him in the street.
Hope he's got a forcefuI personality.
We're back in session.
This camp is part of no territory, state or nation.
Stars and stripes may fly here soon,
but that day is not here yet.
You of the jury therefore are without the law
upon which to decide this case.
And how then are you to decide it?
You must rely on common custom.
That McCall killed Hickok is not in dispute.
He says he was taking revenge,
that Hickok murdered his brother.
If you believe what he says to be true
custom dictates that you excuse him.
The jury will now retire to the whores' rooms
and begin their deliberations.
- Suppose Ellsworth's with us? - Oh yeah, four square.
Open the bar.
Get the girls fucking till the jury comes back.
The downstairs rooms is occupied.
Upstairs ain't.
True.
Strike me dead.
I apologize.
Please, I hurt so much now.
You're one sick fucking customer.
I apologize.
Don't apologize to me.
I don't even fucking know ya!
You want a drink of whiskey?
No lip in the bottle,
but I got a pretty steady pouring hand.
I apologize.
Accepted. Open your yap!
Hey!
Open up!
More for me anyhow.
I apologize.
Hey.
My best friend died.
The man I had my best friend-feeling about in the world.
Took you as he found you,
thought the best of you.
Sweet to me!
I apologize.
Maybe you would rather have some water?
I will go get some from the creek.
But if you don't stop 'pologizing,
I'm not gonna give you a goddamn drop.
All right, mister?!
I'm coming back with some water.
I apologize.
Shut the fuck up!
Look how pretty you are.
Pretty girI.
Are you poorly?
Crampy?
Yes.
Does laudanum help?
It used to.
It doesn't anymore.
Are you afraid?
Yes.
I was awfuI afraid when I was stopping.
First I was afraid I was gonna die.
And then I was afraid I wouldn't.
And then one day I woke up...
free.
I don't know why I didn't think to put her
in one of my camisoles.
No, but you look how pretty she looks in it.
Look at her.
May I confide?
Certainly.
I've never been laid in Nebraska.
We all of us sometimes embellish.
I feeI unburdened.
Happy to help.
What did you send him to get?
If I haven't said yet, Eddie,
you think asking's gonna make me?
Look at the lady.
It's quiet, I thought I would see Hickok buried.
Sure.
Sure, what?
Sure, Joanie, go ahead.
Or was your point you weren't asking permission?
Conscience struck.
Needs to sing a hymn.
She liked Andy.
I did too.
Doc?
I'm in the back!
Well, I won't trouble nothing.
- Hi, Doc. - What is it?
Couple years ago I took powders.
Getting some awfuI cramping.
- I wish I knew what was in 'em. - That'd be helpfuI.
Brownish like.
I put 'em in my tea.
Well, if it's the monthlys, I generally prescribe
a day or two of laudanum against the cramps.
Coming off the laudanum's what had me crampy.
Then you used it for more than a few days.
Little longer, yeah.
Between 12 and...
however old I was three years ago.
Have you taken 'em back up again?
It's the rich woman wants to stop.
- The widow. - And what's that to you?
Or to you why I be interested?
I won't swear
this is your sovereign remedy.
But the color will be right.
And it should give her some relief.
Thanks, Doc.
It's a little enough to do with what's coming.
What would that be?
And what would that be to you?
Finish your business.
The jury's coming back.
Hurry it up!
What's the verdict?
Innocent.
Thank you.
The defendant is free.
Don't ever knock this camp to me.
Good luck, son.
I need a drink.
Mr. Hickok will lie beside two brothers.
One he likely killed, the other he killed for certain
and he's been killed now in turn.
So much blood.
And on the battlefields of the brothers' war,
I saw more blood than this.
And asked then as for the purpose, and did not know.
And don't know the purpose now.
But know now to testify that not knowing,
I believe.
Saint PauI tells us by one's spirit
are we all baptized in the one body.
Whether we be Jew or gentile, bond or free.
And have all been made to drink into one spirit.
For the body is not one member, but many.
He tells us, "The eye cannot say unto the hand,
'I have no need of thee. '
Nor again, the head to the feet,
'I have no need of thee. '
They much more those members of the body
which seem to be more feeble.
And those members of the body
which we think of as less honorable,
all are necessary. "
He says that there should be no schism in the body,
but that the members should have the same care, one to another.
And where the one member suffer,
all the members suffer with it.
I believe in God's purpose,
not knowing it.
I ask Him, moving in me,
to allow me to see His will.
I ask Him,
moving in others,
to allow them to see it.
Let us sing "How Firm a Foundation"
as Mr. Hickok is laid to rest.
& When through &
& Fiery trials &
& Thy pathways shall lie &
& My grace &
& All sufficient &
& Shall be thy supply &
& The flame &
& Shall not hurt thee &
& I only design... &
They turned him loose.
- McCall? - They turned him loose.
& And thy gold to refine. &
- Can we get started? - He's near done.
Oh, you can tell?
Can you believe they let the son of a bitch go?
Yeah, I guess I can. Here he comes.
Oh, thank you for waiting.
You've been so kind to me, a stranger.
Many of us have asked being broken,
"How are we to live?"
You took me into the body of the camp.
I'm from Etobicoke, Ontario.
I'm from Vienna, Austria.
May I ask, Mr. Bullock,
what you feeI now may be your part?
Can't say I know what you're talking about.
I would not impose, it's been given me to ask.
You did what you've been given to do.
The camp was lucky you were here today.
No, I'm a frall and feeble vesseI,
but none of us can deny our parts-
Can we finish the goddamned walk in quiet?
Certainly, sir.
Sorry, Reverend.
Can I get your autograph please?
There you go, that's for you.
Should it ever be your misfortune, gentlemen,
or mine to need to kill a man,
then let us toast together the possibility
that our trials be held in this camp.
Here, here.
What's your name? It's Jack, ain't it?
Yes, sir. You buy me a drink,
I'll make my mark.
Stick around camp, Jack.
I will make mine for you.
What in the hell's that supposed to mean?
Means there's a horse for you outside you want to get on
before somebody murders you who gives a fuck
about right and wrong, or I do.
It's the paint, Jack.
Right outside my joint.
Run for your fucking life.
Jack McCall runs from no man.
Remember this when you run your own place.
That type guy hanging round gets people agitated.
Forces 'em to take a position, one side or the other.
And agitation brings a slight bump-up in whiskey sales.
But the sale of cunt plummets.
That's why I often wonder if I should take
that fucking picture of Lincoln down.
Come on.
Yah, yah.
It's me, mister!
Back with water.
Are you dead?!
Yeah! There you are.
Choking and coughing just like the rest of us.
Saw the widow's husband in the creek.
'Less they're keeping more than one body cooI
for shipping back East.
Tethered, wrapped up,
and floating like a lure
for some huge fucking fish.
The widow's got the little one now.
I had her for a while,
but I ain't the type she should be with long term.
Fucking drunk and so forth.
And when I was down at the creek
I heard voices
and I went to where they were singing.
And I saw as they laid my poor Bill to rest.
Now there's a bird I ain't never seen before.
Shall I talk about it to you?
The man is a lunatic.
High water, he never made much sense.
But now he just utters pure gibberish.
Did he look pale to you?
- What? - Did he seem pale?
How the fuck do I know if he was pale or not?
- He looked pale to me. - What if he was?
Let's say he was. Will you shut up about it?
What is my part and your part?
What part of my part is your part?
Is my foot your knee?
What about your ear? What the fuck is that?
Yeah. I don't know.
What don't you know?
If he was pale or not?
What you're supposed to do.
I'm not supposed to do anything!
Let's agree to that.
Not one fucking thing that I don't decide I'm gonna.
All right, SoI?
All right.
Suspenders.
God damn it!
If I kill the droop-eyed son of a bitch
and my part's getting hanged for it, good luck with the fucking store.
All right.
I will write to Martha and see it posted.
- You look out after that widow. - All right, Seth.
Can I impose on you to pack a bag for me
to cut down on the cocksucker's head start?
Be ready for you when you ride out.
Thanks, SoI.
Did you get the praying outta your system?
Yah!
& God and man played hide and go seek &
& God go, "Man now, man, don't you peek" &
& Man counted to 10 &
& And then looked around &
& But God was nowhere &
& Nowhere to be found &
& Ha ha ha, that's right &
& Now God is in you &
& And God is in me &
& And to love all of God &
& Is to love humanity &
& Ha ha ha, I'm bigger than thee &
& Whoo, ha ha ha. &