What up, everyone?
And congrats on making it to episode two.
You're already doing better than 98% of our viewers.
I guess some people don't realize
that second seasons are like movie sequels...
Always better than the original.
Anywho, the execs at YouTube Red... sorry,
YouTube Premium, are taking an insane gamble on me,
which is so gratifying to hear.
So I'm out here trying to repay the favor.
You know what I mean?
YouTube Premium, baby!
Subscribe today.
- Here you go. Oh! - Get away from me.
YouTube Premium, baby!
It's so much better than YouTube Red.
It's Netflix without the distractingly large selection.
It's Prime Video without that free shipping.
It's Hulu without the Emmys. There you go. Yeah!
- Hey, idiot. - Yeah?
I'm not signing up for another streaming service.
Well, you don't have to. You can just watch my show,
then cancel after one month's free trial.
That's what I did.
Hey, they've even got music now, too.
It's Spotify without the playlists.
Synced & corrected by reggielist www.addic7ed.com
Officer.
Ryan, what the hell are you wearing?
Well, thank you for asking, Ryan Seacrest.
Although, I should probably say Giuliana Rancic, right?
'Cause I kind of think you did it. Hey.
Cobra Kai headband. Gotta support the home team.
So, how long till the traffic cam guys ID that Tesla?
You know, finding that car is the key to catching whoever shot Mathers.
You say it like you have an insight.
I just wanna make sure the audience is all caught up.
So, what are you thinking? Crack this one by like today-ish?
'Cause I got a bunch of generals that...
- I can move 'em, though. - Probably not.
Car didn't have any plates,
there's nothing showing on the traffic cam.
That crap only happens on TV.
Ha. Well, we are on TV, so there.
I mean, it's actually streaming.
But, you know, the lines are getting so blurred these days,
it's like, what's the diff?
Difference is, if you don't shut up,
I'm gonna shoot you in the face.
So, what we got, Lee?
Yeah, Lee, what do we got?
The perp shot the victim through the head once with a nine millimeter,
then destroyed all this fancy equipment.
The techs tell me that none of this is salvageable.
- Sounds like your career. - What?
What is this stuff?
Those are the drives where all the data is kept
from the shows that they're working on.
Man, all those were destroyed?
That could shut down an entire production.
Well, good thing we don't have to worry about that.
All of our files go straight to the cloud,
'cause we're shooting on an iPhone 6.
We gotta find out what project this girl was working on.
It was a TV show for YouTube Premium.
YouTube Premium, seriously?
Man, these facilities are legit.
They must be throwing some serious cash into this production.
Are show has to share an Avid with the AV club at North Hollywood High.
What show is that?
"Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes On Television."
The asterisk is silent.
It used to be called "Celebrity Vice Squad,"
but changing your name is really great for branding.
Cool. Can't wait to check it out.
I'm sorry, who are you?
I'm with client relations.
Can I get you two something to drink?
A cold-pressed juice, LaCroix, craft cocktail?
- I'll have a... - No, thank you.
Anything else you can tell us about the TV show?
They kept it pretty quiet, but I heard it was a reboot.
Uh, let me guess.
"Cobra Kai"? The reboot of the "Karate Kid" franchise?
- No. - "Step Up: High Water,"
the reboot of the "Step Up" franchise?
- No. - "Impulse"? The TV reboot
- of the forgotten movie "Jumper"? - Hold on a second.
Are they really turning "Step Up" into a TV show?
Reboots are super popular right now.
"Party of Five," "Cagney & Lacey,"
"Lethal Weapon," "Gilmore Girls," "Magnum, P.I.,"
"Queer Eye." I can keep going.
- Please don't. - "MacGyver,"
"Hawaii Five-0," "Charmed," "Full House,"
"Murphy Brown," and of course, "Ryan Hansen."
Why would they reboot a show that no one watches?
I think this Candice Bergen has a clause in her contract.
This is a crime scene, not a reboot.
Sorry, revival. They're "Will & Gracing" us.
This is getting less and less interesting by the second.
Oh!
Sounds like somebody was reading our online comments.
Stop talking and start doing some police work for a change.
Call up YouTube and find out what show this sound mixer was working on.
No problem, but I might need to borrow your cell phone,
because YouTube has blocked my number.
Oh, man, this is so exciting.
I wonder what the mystery show is gonna turn out to be.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Wha...
This is insane!
How are they gonna do a "Party Down" reboot without me?
First Mathers gets shot,
then I get booted from this reboot.
Almost wish I was in coma so I didn't have to see any of this.
- I can help you with that, if you want. - Thanks, Vince.
You're a good friend. You know what?
Maybe they didn't bring back any of the original cast.
And cut.
Ken?
Shit.
Shit. Shit.
- Ryan. - Hey!
What's up, baby? How you doing, man?
How are you? What's going on? Great to see you.
Look at you. You look great.
What, did you get surgery on your ears?
- I love it. - Uh, no.
'Cause they look significantly better.
They were so small
and now they sort of fit your face.
They used to be like little tiny oddities.
We used to think they were just, like, skin tabs.
- Everybody was weirded out, but... - Serious?
Whatever it is, man, you look great!
You look fantastic, like a supermodel.
- Thank you. - I hear you're doing,
uh, that thing, you're working on something
- for some place. - Yeah.
- It sounds great, sounds really funny. - Yeah.
Love to talk to you about it, but I'm directing this show.
- We actually got questions for you. - Yeah, like, um,
how come I didn't hear about the "Party Down" reboot?
Oh, that's weird.
I thought they contacted everybody.
Actually, we're not calling it a reboot.
We're calling it a reawakening.
And it's not called "Party Down." It's called "Party Up."
- It's a legal thing. - Well, hey, just so you know,
happy to jump aboard whenever.
Got my wardrobe in the back of my car.
Oh, you got your wardrobe in the back of your car,
that's so... sad.
Can I get you guys to switch for a second?
I'm sorry to tell you this, man,
but we killed off your character.
- What? - Yeah. Your character Kyle,
he wanted to do his own pyrotechnics
for his band and Karma Rocket
and he burned himself to a crisp.
That guy's not coming back.
Can you switch back? I didn't like that.
Yeah, we did all that off camera.
So we never needed you and we never will.
Perfect.
What's up with all this green?
We're gonna drop in the background later
like they did in "300."
You know, that saves us from making any decisions
until we absolutely have to.
This is all bullshit. This doesn't look good at all.
Okay, that's lunch, everybody.
All right, we'll pick it up after lunch.
All right? All right.
What do they got at craft?
Stumptown or Blue Bottle?
- What? - The two best coffees in L.A.
I mean, I couldn't decide, and YouTube was like,
"We'll give you what you want. Take both of them."
Ah, we even have a barista. Buona sera, Franco.
Oh, man, I'm telling you, man. This is the nicest set
that I've ever worked on. Check this out.
We have a PA here who does nothing all day
except deseed pomegranates.
Oh, man. It's crazy, but you can taste the difference.
Cut the crap and let's talk about the murder.
- Murder? - Well, before we get to all that,
I just have a few nagging questions.
No. We're here to talk about the murder.
- The murder takes precedence. - It'll take me two seconds.
Well it's just gonna take me two seconds to choke you to death, Ryan.
Okay, I just have to ask,
are you the only cast member they brought back?
Like Screech from "Saved By The Bell: The New Class"?
Ah, I love Screech!
Zoinks! But actually, no. Adam, Lizzy, Martin, and Jane
all said that they can carve out a little time.
Megan said she couldn't do it
because she's working on the "Will & Grace" reboot.
I'm gonna take that big fat one because he's eyeballing me, son!
You're a punk!
Okay, see, yeah. That... that's what it was probably.
I'm just so busy with my own show
that my agent probably didn't even mention it to me, so...
Ryan, I'm with you all day. Nobody ever calls you.
Hey, Ryan, you got your own show.
- When does it air? - It's on now.
- Season two. This is it. - Ah.
Oh, what network?
YouTube Primo, just like you.
- You and I are alike, you know that? - Huh.
And it's not a reboot?
It's kind of a hybrid, I guess.
I think we're rebooting a character.
Well, I'm sorry, man, I've been directing so many movies lately,
that I haven't had any time to watch any TV.
I was actually gonna turn this down
but then they offered me all that "Cobra Kai" money.
Gah!
Oh man, "Cobra Kai" is such a good show.
I mean, I'll give them this, their business model is for shit,
but when it comes to what's on screen,
YouTube Premium spares no expense.
Hey, why don't you come on inside? I got...
Oh, so good.
What's with all the gift bags?
Is it your birthday?
No, it's just Tuesday.
Let's get back to the case.
You know anybody who might have a grudge
- against the show? - Maybe.
But destroying the hard drive is pointless, right?
All the footage is backed up in a central server.
No, no, no, I checked into it.
You know, all the backup files were lost, too.
You lost everything.
Uh, thanks, Melissa. I'll see you at five.
How many massages do you get a day?
Eight.
That's weeks of footage, that's millions of dollars.
I mean, if we lost all those files...
we don't have a show.
This is horrible.
There's also a dead body.
Well, detective, respectfully, this is Hollywood.
You can order a dead body on Uber Eats.
God, I mean, look,
the only reason I did "Party Up"
was so I could direct every episode.
You know, that's my passion now,
directing.
Come in. Oh, not to be a dick,
but I said lime green.
That's emerald. Yeah.
Again, not to be a dick, but...
But just do what I had said in the first place
and then we wouldn't be in this situation.
And she's gone.
Hey, Ken, I just wanted to say,
I loved "How to Be a Latin Lover."
You know, I gave you a call for an audition, but I didn't hear back.
Oh, thanks, man.
We had a lot of fun on that one.
You know, we did 62 million on a 10 million budgey.
Not bad.
But you know what?
I'm gearing up for something even bigger.
I wanna do the "Black Panther" musical.
- Oh, no way! - Yeah, man.
I just had a meeting with Kevin Feige.
He invited me for a weekend
at his apocalypse bunker in New Zealand.
N-B-D.
Apparently, he's a huge "Party Down" fan. This...
This reboot was gonna be my calling card.
Oh, man, hey, do you think you could put in a good word for me?
No.
Returning once again to the violent crime
that's connected to your production.
Who do you think might want to destroy the show?
Was there like disgruntled fans, maybe there was crew members
who had a beef with somebody? I don't know.
- Maybe it was Martin. - No, not Martin.
He's got way too much money for that,
and he would not wanna let it go.
Oh! You know what?
We hired this famous actor to be on our show
and he's been complaining about the long hours.
In fact, he said,
"If I do another 15-hour day, I'm gonna kill somebody."
Holy crap!
Now it's all coming back to me. The night of the murder,
he was doing ADR at the same post production facility
where the mixer was killed.
I'm no detective, detective,
but even I can do the math on that one.
Holy crap.
Yeah, he's number five on the call sheet.
I don't know what the hell this is.
Ah, allow me.
I've been reading call sheets since I was in diapers.
Oh, my God, this guy?
- Who? - Oh, maybe we should save it
for a reveal. It's more dramatic that way.
Oh, yeah, baby!
This is what I'm talking about.
Lambo!
This is the kind of career I want.
You know, acting, writing, directing, producing.
This guy's a quadruple threat.
Don't sell yourself short.
You threaten every project you work on.
Oh, shit!
- Is he shooting at us? - I don't know.
- Cover me. - Wait, wait. I don't have a gun.
Actually, I feel safer that way.
It's okay. I can cover you with my space work.
Bet you still end up shooting yourself.
Drop the gun! Put your hands in the air!
Stephen Merchant, hey.
Told you it'd be more dramatic this way.
Ryan? Ryan Hansen?
We worked together.
He told me I was hilarious.
Doesn't sound like something I'd say.
Wait, I'm not on "Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes On Television," am I?
- You know the show? - No.
Your e-mails begging me to make an appearance
have been filling up my spam folder.
I found them when I was looking
for information on penis enlargement.
No prob. I could totally summarize it for you real quick.
I assume it's just a pill.
My show is a meta-comedy about showbusiness
where famous actors play bizarro versions of themselves.
Sounds like a pale imitation of my Golden Globe winning show "Extras."
Thank you. Actually, we're on TV Guide's Top 100 shows.
- Oh, of all-time? - No.
- Just this year. - Ah.
- Even better. - Yeah.
- What number are you at? - 98.
Two from the top, baby.
Right. And who's at the pitiful number one spot?
"The Good Place." I would've thought they would be higher.
Poor Kristen.
I mean, it's not like I'm 97 times better than her.
But, yeah, I'm 97 spots above her on the list.
It's just a fact. I'm not gonna gloat.
Well, you wouldn't wanna gloat.
- That would be vulgar. - Right.
Wait, you're not here to ask me to do a cameo, are you?
No, no, no. No, cameos.
But you are a person of interest in a murder investigation.
Oh, thank God for that.
For a minute I was worried you were
gonna ask me to do a cameo on fucking YouTube.
Uh, well, what do you need?
At the end of the day, I love you and I love this idea.
So let's do it.
Hey, Gwendolyn?
Could you tell accounting to pull the funding
for the drug bust, 'kay?
Thank you. Love ya. Mean it.
New assistant.
Wish I could leave her in a box at the fire department.
- We brought Stephen Merchant in. - I heard! Two cameos in one ep.
That's exciting.
- Yeah, and I was thinking that maybe... - Hold that thought. I'm so sorry.
This is really important.
"Oh, my God, updating status
in this boring meeting
with these f'ing, a-holes.
Kill me now."
Kill face, kill face, kill face. Okay.
Oh, hold on one sec. I'm sorry. I'm gonna get to you. One second, okay?
Before I forget. Gwendolyn?
Could you call up Bestia and have them deliver
a plate of those delicious ricotta dumplings
with sausage and truffles
for the house tonight?
Oh, Bestia delivers?
I hope so, for Gwendolyn's sake.
Oh, one more thought.
Take it or leave it, but I suggest you take it.
Um, I thought for this next interrogation,
we could do something completely different.
You know, we have this great cameo.
Maybe we use it as a chance to shake up the format a bit.
I don't know what that means,
but just let it play around in that noggin of yours.
You know, see what pops loose.
- All right. Cool. - OK.
Get on out there. Cagney & Lacey.
Ha, ha, ha. OK.
I think the Captain's right.
This show could totally use another format.
I'm not doing this crap.
You son of a bitch, you've tricked me.
- This is a cameo, isn't it? - Yeah.
Well, it's the least you could do
after stealing my role on "Party Up."
I didn't take your role. It's a whole new character.
Yeah, but there's only room for one tall handsome actor
with blond hair on any TV show. Everybody knows that.
Wait, is there another tall handsome actor on this show?
Can we please get back to the goddamn murder?
I didn't even wanna do a YouTube show,
but Adam Scott begged me to do it, and so I agreed.
Apparently, "The Office" is doing great numbers on Netflix,
and so YouTube wanted someone who was integral
to the success of that show, which is why they hired...
- Ricky Gervais? Steve Carell? Ed Helms? - No. No.
- No. - Enough of the fucking back and forth!
B.J. Novak? Mindy Kaling?
- No, me. - Why you?
Why...
Why me? Have a look at the credits of "The Office".
It's on TBS every night, Columbo.
- I've seen "The Office." - He's not even in it.
Never seen it.
Look, I don't even know why I'm a suspect.
If anyone's got a reason to destroy the show, it's Ryan.
- What? What are you talking about? - Well, think about it.
He was original cast member, but he wasn't brought back for the reboot.
I mean, that kind of humiliation will drive any actor to crazy things.
You wouldn't bring back "24" without Kiefer Sutherland
or "Full House" without the Olsen twins.
You can't do that to an actor. That's why it's never done.
How upset was he when he found out?
Don't listen to him. I would never play an antagonist. I'm too likable.
- The audience wouldn't believe it. - No, see, I would believe it.
You know, if you think about it,
all the actors from "Party Down" have gone on to great things.
They won a ton of awards, Lizzy Caplan, Adam Scott, Jane Lynch.
They got SAG awards, Emmy awards,
People's Choice awards.
How many awards have you got?
- Uh... - There you go, you see?
Eddie Redmayne, he won an Oscar
and he's got an OBE from the Queen of England.
Eddie Redmayne is not in "Party Down."
Benedict Cumberbatch got a CBE.
I've got two Golden Globes, I haven't had a sniff of the Queen.
I mean, Cumber... What has Cumberbatch done, seriously?
"Doctor Strange." Who's interested in "Doctor Strange"?
If you wanna see a superhero movie, check out "Logan."
Have you seen me in that? Oh, fantastic.
I shaved my head and I had three and half hours of makeup every day.
What did Cumberbatch do?
He grew a goatee.
He gets straight down in the palace.
I haven't even met Meghan fucking Markle
and she's a less successful actor than he is.
Sorry I'm getting heated,
but it's enough to make you wanna kill someone.
So I can't imagine how he feels,
'cause at least I've got the respect of the industry.
Fucking actors.
Look, both of you dipshits probably had a motive,
but you were the only one at the scene of the crime.
No, no, no, no. This call sheet's wrong.
I was supposed to be there, but we ended up working late
and I had to reschedule. You can ask my driver.
They gave you a driver?
It's the least they can do, honestly,
because I'm doing 15 hour days on a 150 day shoot.
I mean, look at this schedule.
Can you believe it? I mean, was supposed to be a cameo.
They're working me to the bone. Just like you guys.
Since when did a cameo turn into a full-on guest star role?
When you get accused of murder.
All right, all right.
I suppose there will be a paywall, will there, after this episode?
But why are you guys shooting for 150 days?
I mean, that must cost a fortune, right?
We shoot all eight episodes of "I solve crimes" over a long weekend.
Well, it doesn't show.
Thank you.
It definitely shows.
The shooting schedule is so long
because we're doing three seasons back to back "Avatar" style.
It's a way of more effectively capitalizing
on the Golden Globe that YouTube have already purchased for us.
- Oh, my God. - What?
What's up?
I think I just solved the case.
Wow. Huh, Ryan Hansen. Nice.
He's... he's not as dumb as he looks.
He definitely is.
Hey, guys. What are you, um, doing here?
We just came by to say congrats.
- Oh, thanks. - I just bumped into Adam
and he told me that YouTube isn't gonna cancel the show after all.
They're gonna reshoot all the lost footage.
They don't care what it costs.
Why would YouTube call Adam and not me?
Oh, maybe 'cause he's number one on the call sheet.
I'm the director! Fuck!
Yeah, but you know, TV's a writer's medium,
or an actor's, not a director's.
Definitely not. I don't even know our director's name.
I'm not even sure if we have a director.
Goddamn it.
Fuck... you!
God damn it!
God... the fuck!
God! God!
I love you.
- Sorry about that. - No, I get it.
I'm around this guy for more than five minutes
and I just wanna beat the crap out of something, too.
- Right? - But I got a question for you.
Now, rehearsals for "Black Panther: The Musical"
start up in, like, I don't know, two months, right?
So if "Party Up" was supposed to be filming for the next five,
how are you supposed to do both?
You couldn't, right?
Unless "Party Up" was somehow cancelled.
I don't know what you're implying,
but I am personally offended by that.
I'm an artist, not an iCal.
I don't know when things are.
Okay, let me ask you a question.
"Are we having fun yet?"
Really? You're gonna throw that line in my face, Ryan?
It's like an homage or whatever.
Like, 'cause "Party Down."
I know what the fuck it is, Ryan!
It's just a really shitty line!
Okay? They're all shitty lines.
I've been on this set for two months
and all we're doing is rehashing the same jokes from nine years ago.
"At 'Party Up' we have a simple motto.
It's your party and you deserve to enjoy it.
But how are you going to enjoy it, if you..."
Oh, my God! It's the same party
over and over and over and over and over and over
again!
Eventually, somebody's gonna snap. Somebody's gonna snap.
So you killed her?
Yes, of course I killed her.
But not just for me!
I'm not that selfish! I did it for the TV viewing public!
This reboot trend is out of control. Okay?
"Twin Peaks," "X-Files," "Wet Hot American Summer."
"Veronica Mars"?
- Well... - The bullshit has got to stop.
Look, I... All... All I'm saying is,
I just wanna do something original.
Oh, you mean like "Black Panther: The Musical."
- Exactly! - Right.
Like the "Black Panther" musical.
I mean, come on, man.
Wakanda forever, am I right, Ryan?
Yeah, Wakanda forever.
That's right, brother. Get out of my way!
Get off me!
He's getting the fuck...
- Go! - Oh, shit.
- Where'd he go? - I don't know.
But I was hoping for something more exciting
than a foot chase for our climax.
Just shut up! You go that way,
- I'll go this way. - Okay.
Splitting up. That'll add a little tension. Nice.
- Pomegranate seeds? - Goddamn it! Shit.
Oh, man, I can't wait to see the final VFX on this.
Well, this is taking forever.
Cheap piece of shit.
Mano y mano.
Fine, have it your way.
Come on!
No, you come on.
No, you... come on.
Goddamn it.
Come on!
- Is that all you got? - Nope.
Jesus Christ...
this is fucking ridiculous.
Come on!
You're under arrest, asshole.
I think he means you. Oh, yeah.
Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna...
I'm gonna give you a part in "Party Up"
and the "Black Panther" musical.
And for you, Mr. Dirty Harry, sir.
I'm gonna give you 35... 40...
50% of my back... my back end. How about that?
- Back end? - That's a lot!
Because it's "Hamilton" money, guys.
You know, and I'm not talking "Hamilton: American Vengeance."
I'm talking "Hamilton" the Broadway musical money.
This is Lin-Manuel Miranda money, not Peter Berg money.
Well, "Lone Survivor."
On average, his stuff doesn't make that much money, but, look!
We're not Boy Scouts here.
We would... We would all take a bribe.
I would. I feel like you guys would.
So how about we do it? Let's roll around in the Do-Re-Mi.
Come on. Ryan, what do you say, pal?
Are we having fun?
"Yet."
- "Are we having fun yet?" - Oh, yes!
Yes, yes. Oh, I... shit! I got it...
Are we having fun yet?
There you go. Ken, I'm so sorry, man.
But a director did the same move in episode 106.
And because I don't wanna repeat myself,
I'm not even gonna pretend to be tempted, okay?
This show, it's all about new ideas.
Take him away, boys!
Really? I know what to do, idiot.
Ah, just... Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Be gentle. I got... I have very sensitive wrists.
These are not rubber cuffs.
- Ugh. - Not a rubber jail either.
Stumptown?
Oh. Don't mind if I do.
Thank you so much.
Mmm. Wow.
This really is one of L.A.'s two best coffees.
Hey, hey, brought you a cup of coffee.
I know you're still in a coma and the coffee's a little cold,
but, hey, it's still delicious, right?
I'll just set it down right here
and you can enjoy it when you wake up.
Mathers, why is your face bandaged when you were shot in the chest?
And why does your body type seem different?
It's kinda like there's a whole 'nother person in there,
but I know it's you.
You're not like Ken Marino.
You'd never try to get out of a YouTube Premium show.
Hey, Hansen.
Shh! Shh! Shh! She's still sleeping.
- Oh, I thought she was in a coma. - She is,
but you can still sleep in a coma.
But don't you want her to wake up?
- Good point. - Look, I just came by to tell you
we have a lead on that gray Tesla Model S.
- And it's a one-of-a-kind? - No.
There's literally millions of them in Los Angeles.
But it turns out that this one was stolen from the LAPD impound lot.
Whoa!
- What does that mean? - Not sure yet.
Could mean a lot of things.
Well, I bet we'll get some answers after the paywall,
'cause there's no way these writers are making this up on the fly.
I don't know anything about that,
but I also wanted to tell you,
you did a good job back there.
Thanks, man.
Hey, does this mean I get a real gun?
- No. - I'm cool with that.
- Tsk. - Good talk.
Hey.
You wanna subscribe to YouTube Premium?
We can watch the next six episodes and
then cancel before the free trial ends.
Huh? Sounds like a yes to me.
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Oh! Man, those first two episodes were great.
You wanna see the others?
You can try YouTube Premium free for 30 days,
and then half-price after that...
if you find a friend to split the cost with.