[GUITAR STRUMMING]
♪ 'Cause every time I see your face ♪
♪ I can't help but fall from grace... ♪
Wow. This girl's good.
Oh, yeah, a song with rhyming words... ooh, I never thought of that before.
♪ Say you'll stay beside me... ♪
I like her.
Why, 'cause she can sing and play guitar
and do both at the same time?
Well, that's pretty much all I'm looking for from these people.
Look at you, all jealous.
Yeah, Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles.
You know, she's more...you know? And...you're more...
♪ Say you'll stay beside me ♪
Okay. See? See? Everybody else is happy she's done.
Okay, my next song is called
"Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say? I Really Loved When We Were
Singing Partners and I Shouldn't Have Left You That Way."
Oh, no. One of those look-for- the-hidden-meaning songs.
Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com
{an8}♪ So no one told you life was going to be this way ♪
{an8}♪ Your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
{an8}♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
{an8}♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
{an8}♪ When it hasn't been your day ♪
{an8}♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
{an8}♪ When the rain starts to fall ♪
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
{an8}♪ Like I've been there before ♪
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
{an8}♪ 'Cause you're there for me, too ♪
{an8}Hey, Phoebe.
{an8}Hey, Leslie.
{an8}How'd you know I'd be here?
{an8}I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish.
{an8}And he said you played here a lot, so, um...
{an8}All right. I have to go to the bathroom.
{an8}But if the place with the big fish comes up again,
{an8}I'd like to know whether that's several big fish or just one big fish.
{an8}So Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
{an8}Actually, I said she abandoned me to write jingles.
{an8}JOEY: Uh, anything we might have heard of?
{an8}Uh, yeah, um...
{an8}♪ Home is never far away ♪
{an8}ALL EXCEPT PHOEBE: ♪ Home is Homestar Stew ♪
{an8}Yeah, but I don't do that anymore. I got kind of sick of it.
{an8}And then I couldn't come up with anything good, so they fired me.
{an8}Hmm, bummer.
{an8}Well, uh, you know, I was just...
{an8}um, I was just thinking and just hoping that...
{an8}maybe you'd want to get back together.
{an8}No, but thanks.
{an8}Oh, come on, Phoebe. Would you just think about it?
{an8}Okay.
{an8}No, but thanks.
{an8}Okay, uh...
see you, Pheebs.
Wow. That was kind of brutal.
Well, okay, let this be a lesson to all of you.
All right? Once you...once you betray me, I become like the Ice Woman.
You know, I'm just...very cold, hard...unyielding.
You know, nothing...nothing can penetrate this icy exterior.
Can I have a tissue, please?
Oh, yes.
Is someone in there?
No. This is just part of a daredevil game
that I play called "Wait Until the Last Moment Before I Burst and Die."
Jeez, man. Did you fall...? Hi.
So, uh, did you? Did you fall high?
Someone was in the ladies' room; I couldn't wait.
- I left the lid up for you, though. - Ha, ha. [LAUGHS]
You know what, uh, Gunther? Go, uh, go ahead.
I'm talking to, uh...
this is the part where you say your name.
- Ginger. - Ginger. I'm talking to Ginger, so...
- Don't you have to use the bathroom? - No.
No, I just, uh... I'd rather, uh, talk to you.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.
GUNTHER: Someone in here.
- Where's Chandler? - He can't make it.
He said he had to go back to his, uh, job to do, uh...
whoa-oh.
Joey?
Joey Tribbiani.
Joey, I can see you, okay?
You're hiding behind the coats.
Close one. Heh.
- Hi. - Hi, sweetie.
Hello.
Hey, Ross.
Yuh-huh.
- I've got some bad news. - What?
I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I'm going to have to come back up here.
Come on, sweetie. You've had to work late every night for the past two weeks.
- What is it this time? - It's kind of my fault. I quit today.
But work comes first.
Oh, hey, but that's sad about you, though. What happened?
What happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did you?
No, he's leaving for a better job.
Oh, well, that's great. So I guess this is, uh, good-bye then.
Good-bye. Ha, ha.
- Okay, then. - Okay.
Well, we're going to miss you around here.
Yeah, me, too.
- So, I'll see you on Saturday. - Yeah, you bet.
[BEEPING]
Ucch.
Now, you know those are a delicacy in India.
Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together.
It's like the 20th time today. Yeah, good luck, Leslie.
Wow. She must have hurt you pretty bad, huh?
Well, yeah. You know, we were best friends.
Ever since we were little, our moms worked on the barge together.
Oh.
You two must've been so cute running around on a barge.
You never run on a barge.
ALL: Hey.
Is, uh, is Chandler around?
No, um, he met some girl at the coffeehouse.
- Ooh. - Yeah. Ginger something.
No.
No, no. Uh, are you sure it wasn't something that sounded liked Ginger?
Like, uh, "Gingeer"?
No, it was Ginger.
I remember because when he told me, I said...
♪ The movie star... ♪
Aw, man.
That's the girl I was hiding from.
When she finds out he's my roommate, she's going to tell him what I did.
- What did you do? - Oh. Oh, no, no. I can't...
I can't tell you that. It's like the most awful, horrible thing
- I've ever done in my whole life. - You know what? Don't tell us.
We'll just wait till Chandler gets home because it'll be more fun that way.
All right.
Okay, it was, like, four years ago.
Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times. And then this one weekend,
we went up to her dad's cabin...
just me, her, and her annoying little dog, Pepper. Heh. [LOW GROWL]
Well, that night I cooked this really romantic dinner...
You gave her food poisoning!
I wish. No.
After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire.
Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out,
so I picked up a log and threw it on.
Or at least what I thought was a log.
Oh, my God, you threw Pepper on the fire.
I wish.
See, I guess another thing I probably should've told you about Ginger,
is that she kind of has a, uh...
artificial leg.
Oh, my God.
Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
I ran!
Well, that's the best kiss I've had
with anybody I met in the men's room.
Actually, me, too.
Oh. Foot in a puddle. Foot all in the puddle.
Oh, damn. I hate that.
We're going to have to get you out of those shoes.
Oh, don't worry about it.
- No, really, you're going to freeze. - No, I'm not. I'm...
Huh. You're not? What do you...? What do you got, a bionic foot?
Someday. Maybe.
[CHUCKLES]
Funny book?
Hmm? Oh, no, no. I'm just thinking about something funny I heard today...
um, Mark...Mark saying, "I'll see you Saturday."
Yeah, at the lecture.
I told you that last week. You said you didn't mind.
Oh, no, no, no. It's not the lecture, uh, I mind. Um...
Oh, please tell me it's not 'cause I'm going with Mark.
- Well... - Oh, my God! Ross!
Well, I'm sorry, but...look, if you're not working with him anymore
why do you still have to do stuff with him?
Because he's my friend.
Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean...
Okay, well, if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
I don't know. You thought "See you Saturday" was funny.
Look, honey, Mark is in fashion, okay?
I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with.
You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
Paah!
I would love to go with you.
- Really? - Yeah.
Hey, I have clothes. I even pick them out.
I mean, for all you know, I could be a fashion...
monger.
Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me.
What?
What should I wear? Now I'm all nervous.
You know, they say, "A watched pot never beeps."
Well...it's, you know, ahem... it's been a couple hours,
and...she hasn't called.
Not that I even care. I don't.
Phoebe, why don't you just call her?
You obviously want to.
You think you know me so well.
- Well, don't you want to? - Yeah.
- Okay, so I do know you. - That's what I said.
- Well, so? - I can't.
I can't. She dumped me.
I mean, I totally trusted her, and then one day it was like,
"Okay, bye, Pheebs." Gone.
You know what the saddest part is? When we were playing together,
that was like the most fun I've ever had in, like, all my lives.
♪ My favorite shoes, So good to me, I wear them every day ♪
♪ Down at the heel, holes in the toes ♪ ♪ Don't care what people say ♪
♪ My feet's best friend, Pals to the end ♪
♪ With them, I'm one hot chicky ♪
♪ Though late one night ♪ ♪ Not much light ♪
♪ I stepped in something icky ♪
♪ Sticky shoes, sticky shoes ♪
♪ Always make me smile ♪
♪ Sticky shoes, sticky shoes ♪ ♪ Next time I'll ♪
♪ Avoid the ♪
♪ Pile ♪
[CHEERING]
MAN: We're beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colors.
For instance, a sheer navy blouse over a pink bodysuit...
I'm really glad we came.
MAN: The wispy chiffons and delicate meshes
we're seeing on the runways are totally sheer...
You're so pretty.
MAN: And the designers are using heavier jerseys
or providing slips...
- I love you. - Oh.
MAN: We're also taking these garments...
[SINGING OFF-KEY] ♪ Smelly cat, smelly cat ♪
♪ What are they feeding you? ♪
♪ Smelly cat, smelly cat ♪
♪ It's not your fault ♪
Wow, that's great!
- Oh, yeah? - You know, you could totally sell this!
It'd be perfect for, like, um... a kitty litter campaign.
A jingle? No, no, no, no. No.
Why not? You make a ton of money.
Okay, if I was in this for the money, I would be a millionaire by now, you know?
Oh.
You just got to get out of that jingle head, sweetie.
Ugh. You're right. You're right! I'm sorry.
- That's okay. - Okay.
All right. I'm going to play a song now that's really, really sad, okay?
- Okay. - Okay, it's called "Magician Box Mix-Up."
MAN: Oversized bracelets, oversized earrings,
oversizing of accessories in general is very popular now.
[LOUD, CHOKING SNORE]
[CHUCKLES]
[GOOFY CHUCKLE]
MAN: Garments with a far Eastern influence
are really breaking out this year.
- Hi. - Hey.
Oh, can I borrow this? My milk's gone bad.
Oh, I hate that.
I once had a thing of half-and-half... stole my car.
So, um...how was your date with Ginger?
Great. Ahem. It was great. She's, uh...
she's great...great looking, great personality. She's greatness.
Mm.
Sounds like she's got the, uh...
whole package.
- Joey told you about the leg, huh? - Uh-huh.
Oh, God. It freaked me out, okay? I know it shouldn't have, but it did.
I mean, I like her. I don't want to stop seeing her,
but every so often, it's like...
"Hey, you know what? Where's your leg?"
I mean, I'm the smallest person in the world, aren't I?
I'm the smallest person in the world.
Morning.
Actually, he's the smallest person in the world.
Heard about the leg burning, huh?
It came up.
Ahem, listen, I, uh... I know it's a long shot, but...
by any chance, did she find that funny?
So, I nodded off a little.
"Nodded off"?! Ross, you were snoring!
My father's boat didn't make that much noise when it hit rocks!
But, come on. Forty-five minutes!
Forty-five minutes, the man talked about strappy-backed dresses.
Well, okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium,
listening to Professor Pit Stains and his,
"Hey, everybody! Remember that thing that's been dead for a gazillion years?
Well, here's a little bone we didn't know it had!"
First of all, it's Professor Pitain.
And second of all, that little bone proved that
that particular dinosaur had wings but didn't fly.
Okay, see, now, you know what I just heard?
Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah.
Huh. You know what? A hundred million people
went to see a movie about what I do.
I wonder how many people would go see a movie called "Jurassic Parka."
Oh, that is so...!
No, no, no... a bunch of out-of-control jackets
take over an island!
[FALSETTO GASP]
You know, if what I do is so lame
then why did you insist on coming with me this morning?
Huh? Was it so I just wouldn't go with Mark?
No.
I...I wanted to be with you.
I don't know. I feel like lately...
I feel like you're slipping away from me
you know, with this new job and all these new people.
And you've got this whole other life going on.
I know it's dumb,
but I...I just hate that I'm not a part of it.
It's not dumb.
But maybe it's okay that you're not a part of it.
You know what I mean?
I mean, it's like I like that you're not involved in that part of my life.
That's a little clearer.
No, but, honey, see, it doesn't mean that I don't love you,
because I do. I love you. I love you so much.
But my work, it's for me, you know?
I'm out there on my own, and I'm doing it.
And it's scary, but I love it because it's mine.
But, I mean, is that okay?
Sure, uh...ha, ha.
[NO AUDIO]
You're thinking about my leg, aren't you?
No, no.
Actually, I forget. What is the deal with that again?
Look, it's okay if it bothers you.
I mean, the only thing I need to know is how much it bothers you,
because I don't like wasting my time.
Am I wasting my time?
- No. No, I don't think so. - Okay.
I mean, it's just like anything else. You just have to get used to it.
Mm.
What's that?
That's...that's my nubbin.
What's a nubbin?
[CLEARS THROAT]
It's kind of a, uh... a third nipple kind of thing.
Do you have three nipples?
Well, you know, two regulars, ahem...
and, uh, one that barely qualifies as a...
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
- Uh, what? - Nothing. I...
I just remembered, I have to leave.
You, uh...you have to leave now? How come?
Uh, well, it's nubbin... nothing!
Um...you know what? I'll see you later, okay.
Uh...
Eew!
Oh, I thought you weren't coming.
- Where were you? - Come here, come here.
Okay. Don't get mad, okay?
Okay, don't give me a reason to get mad, okay?
I played "Smelly Cat" for the people at my old ad agency. They went nuts.
No...look, I told you that I didn't want you to try and sell it
and you just...you big, fat did it anyway.
Uh...
God, you know what? I think, five years ago,
I probably would have done anything to play with you.
But I can do it by myself, right? And if I can't trust you, then just forget it.
No, no. I don't want to forget it.
Okay, you know what? You have to choose.
All right? If the most important thing on the planet to you
is this cat-poopy thing, then, okay, you can have "Smelly Cat,"
- but we won't be partners. - Oh.
So what's it going to be?
[ON-KEY VOCALIST]: ♪ Smelly cat, smelly cat ♪
♪ Odor in the litter box? ♪
MAN: Problem odor in the litter box?
Don't change your kitty. Change your kitty litter.
♪ Smelly cat, smelly cat ♪ ♪ It's not your fault ♪
- Sorry, Pheebs. - Yeah.
You okay?
Yeah. I actually am, yeah.
'Cause, you know, life's going to hand you all kinds of stuff,
and you know, you learn your little lessons and hopefully, you grow.
Yeah.
You want to hear a new song?
- Yeah. - Oh, I'd love to.
Okay.
♪ Jingle bitch screwed me over ♪
♪ Go to hell, jingle whore ♪
♪ Go to hell, go to hell ♪ ♪ Go to he-eh-ell ♪
That's all I have so far.
{an8}Woo woo woo woo!
{an8}- Where have you been? - The doctor.
{an8}- Is everything okay? - Oh, yes.
{an8}Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy.
{an8}Yep. Two nipples, no waiting.
{an8}Wow. Just like Rachel in high school.
{an8}What?!
{an8}Come on! Come on, I was kidding. It was such an obvious joke.
{an8}That was an obvious joke.
{an8}And I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it?
{an8}The source of all my powers.
{an8}Oh, dear God, what have I done?
{an8}Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com