Why doesn't anyone ever want their dates to be eager?
- I love eager. - I love hard-to-get.
Oh, you're a cat person.
Should we go somewhere and do gay stuff?
I'm not going back to your dad's house.
What? I stay in the garage.
It's so nicely secluded.
It's-it's like a resort.
Hey, I do want to, I'd hate to waste a boy.
- But I leave tomorrow. - You do?
- NICHOLAS: Yes. - Okay.
Well, does your garage have a shower?
It's got a hose.
There gotta be a better way.
- A park? - Yeah.
Absolutely. Let's go to a park like our forefathers.
I was joking.
I would have done it.
So why does your dad live here and not in Australia with you?
Don't change the subject, we were making progress.
We've got... We've got a connection.
- Do we have a connection? - Yes, we've got a connection.
Well, I've barely spoken.
I think any feelings you think you have for me
are actually feelings you have for your own anecdotes.
Well, it's not like you volunteered much.
You're supposed to ask. That's what people do.
Fine.
What's your life like?
Well, now I don't wanna say.
I'm gonna accept that because I've just been so nervous
that I'm gonna have to do the listening.
To answer your question about me,
my dad abandoned my mother and I
because he got a woman in America pregnant
and then it turns out their daughter has autism,
and let's face it, I cannot compete with that.
That's like quite a lot of issues.
Well, um, can I ask why you chose to stay in Australia?
Absolutely you can ask.
My mother offered me money not to leave her. I was 12.
Sorry, is this getting too personal?
Are you kidding? Absolutely not.
It's just frustrating 'cause my dad used my sister's autism
as an excuse to leave us
while still looking like a nice guy.
Yeah, this is definitely getting too personal.
Oh. I mean, I don't...
Maybe he is a nice guy. Let's face it.
It's not like I got the chance to really get to know him.
Lol.
And then he had a second daughter with that wife.
When he always refused to have a second kid with my mum.
Yeah, Mum drinks a lot.
And then it all comes out.
His second wife died 11 years ago.
- Should we kiss again? - Yeah. Please.
- NICHOLAS: Okay. [LAUGHS] - Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, uh, how about this,
is your family gonna be out tomorrow?
- Yes. - I'll come over then.
I would like to get that in writing.
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys, I'm here. - Here he is.
- Hey. - Hey.
Matilda, sweetheart, I'm going home today.
I know.
Well...
Do... do you think you're gonna miss me?
Yes.
Don't you think you should tell him?
I just did.
Genevieve.
Genevieve!
Genevieve, babe, I'm, uh,
I'm going back to Australia today
and I'd quite like some attention.
- Babe? - Genevieve, honey, you okay?
Can we please just pretend this isn't happening?
- But it is happening. - [WASHING MACHINE CHIMES]
We can see it.
I'm just doing laundry.
Did you wet the bed?
It does seem like you wet the bed.
DARREN: Honey.
Look, fine, okay,
I got my period.
Your first period.
Now I can get pregnant.
We'll talk about that later.
Your first period? Aren't you like... 14?
Isn't that, like, a little old?
That's not the right thing to say.
There is no need to feel ashamed.
Menstruation is a natural
and a wonderful part of being a woman.
I'm gonna order cupcakes for breakfast.
You're overcompensating
because I don't have a mom, again.
[LAUGHING]
MATILDA: Do you wanna hear a secret?
Yes, of course I wanna hear a secret.
I'm in love with Luke!
- Luke? - Luke Zachary Brown Jackson.
Tilda, no. Everyone is in love with Luke.
Freakin' teachers are in love with Luke.
Even I'm in love with Luke.
Oh, no. I-I can't ask out Luke if my sister's in love with him,
it'll tear us apart.
No, sorry, sorry. I-I'm not in love with Luke.
I don't have a heart.
MATILDA: Well, I know you have a heart
because I know you're in love with Leonard Jones!
Tilda, you can't just ask a random stranger out.
Why?
Well, how could he know if he likes you
if he's never met you?
I know he might say no.
And it won't hurt my feelings,
but to find love you have to make yourself vulnerable.
Tilda, please.
Don't...
You have to, like, flirt with him.
Do you even know how to flirt?
You're supposed to ask questions about themselves
and pretend that they're smarter than you.
- Did you see that on YouTube? - Yes!
Why are you still here?
Uh, yep, yeah.
No, no, no, go. Go.
What?
Dad, go to work and earn money.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Dad, you're being so weird. What is going on?
Here we go.
Sit there.
Like this?
Perfect.
I don't think you're gonna be able to go today.
- Why? - Well...
Maybe you can, I guess.
I'm just not sure if you're gonna want to or not.
- Oh, I do. I do want to. - Okay.
Well, it's fine if you wanna go.
I mean, you seem to be doing really well in Australia.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
And you really don't have much going on here, so...
- I don't know if that's... - Sorry. No.
That came out wrong.
I've put this off a long time.
Uh, sorry.
So, the reason
you might wanna decide not to go...
- Yes? - ... is because...
I'm gonna die.
Soon.
I have a terrible cancer
which I will give you more information about later,
but this is the news that I need to tell you now.
No.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - [LAUGHTER]
Hey. See you. See you later, okay?
Hey, girls. Y'all look so cute today.
- Hey, what's up? - Genevieve.
Barb, Nikita, don't say anything. Genevieve...
what do you think of Barb's hat?
It's a nice hat.
I mean, you look like a Kardashian,
which is everything you've always wanted.
No. Genevieve, tell her the truth.
I-I did.
- No, you didn't. - I did.
TELLULAH: Oh, please.
One doesn't experiment with hats in high school.
You know this, don't you?
BARB: Yeah.
You weren't homeschooled, were you?
Honestly sometimes I just hate her so much actually.
I mean, it's a fine hat, put it back on.
No, I-I won't put it back on.
- Honestly, Barb. - No. No.
Just because Tellulah was being a bitch about it...
- I'm not gonna put it on. - It's a good hat.
I'm not gonna put on the hat!
Okay. Fine.
How would you think that I would go to Australia after this?
That's like, of course, like, I'm not gonna, like...
- You're a weird dude. - You were so excited
about that research project, so I thought...
I feel a bit guilty that I'm not crying.
I hope you don't take it personally.
It's just, um...
I'm not, like, I'm not sure, like, I believe you yet.
- Understood. - [CELL PHONE CHIMING]
Oh, shit!
Don't you think this is an "airplane mode" moment, Nicky?
No, just listen, okay? Alex is here.
Um, Alex is a boy, um...
I think I love him although I'm not sure I know what love is.
And-and he was coming over to have sex before I left
and he's here, and he has...
He has a lot to say about how big this house is.
He's too nervous to knock.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
He found some confidence.
I'm sorry, but can you, like, please, like, just be somewhere else?
Nonsense. If you're in love with the boy,
I wanna meet him before I die.
Hi.
Are you a secret Australian prince?
I'm so much more attracted to you
now that I know you're rich.
- Do you own a Segway? - No.
Okay.
- And... - Okay.
Let's do anal sex.
- DARREN: Hi. - Yeah.
I'm Nicholas' Dad. Darren.
[SNICKERS]
I feel... embarrassed.
DARREN: Nonsense. I already knew my son does anal sex.
Probably terribly.
Iced tea?
Sure.
Yeah, I guess we'll go outside.
Yeah.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Hello, Matilda.
Would you like to go out sometime
and get to know each other better?
No, Jeremy, I still don't wanna go out with you.
Okay.
I'm not allowed to ask more than twice.
So I won't be asking again.
- So this is your last chance. - Okay.
But I'm still interested.
I just won't be asking again because I was told not to.
I just wanted to make that clear.
It is.
Okay, why is your dad here?
Please don't propose.
I promise you I did not know it was gonna be this way.
Thank you.
[DARREN SIGHS]
So, what do you do, Alex?
Oh, yes, well, uh...
You are gonna be so happy to hear this.
I am about to be a dentist.
I am happy to hear that.
They don't commit as much suicide as people say.
That is also great news.
And you?
DARREN: Intellectual property attorney.
Cool.
Are you, um, nervous about your flight?
Oh, um, no, I'm not going anymore.
- What? - Can you maybe please,
like, ignore that it's weird
that I'm not telling you why and then we can move on.
I don't think so.
DARREN: Okay, Alex.
It's not like it's a big secret.
It's just a real shitty thing to have to say,
hear or be involved in.
Listen, I-I have cancer.
I'm sorry.
I know, right?
I can't figure out if it's rude to leave or rude to stay.
Stay! No, no, if you two are getting serious,
- I wanna get to know you. - We've only met three times.
No, I didn't tell him that we're getting serious.
- Just didn't... - DARREN: Oh, well...
then, yeah.
Maybe it's better if you go.
What? No, Dad.
No. I thought you wanted to.
I'm happy either way.
Yeah? Yeah, okay, cool.
I'll... go.
Yeah.
Where should I put this?
Please just give it to me.
- ALEX: Okay. - Thank you.
[CHUCKLES]
Nice guy.
If someone offered me heroin right now,
in this moment, I would say yes.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
BOY: So cute.
Uh... Can we help you?
I want to get to know Luke.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, hey, that's nice.
Um...
What do you wanna know?
I want to know what your favorite song is.
"Humble" by Kendrick Lamar.
You are so much smarter than me.
What's the most unique thing about you?
I'm a true friend.
Which is pretty unique at this school.
What's your type?
I don't wanna be restricted by a "type."
What about you?
I prefer to write my own songs.
I'm a composer.
People tell me I'm gifted and I usually believe them.
But I can't be sure because sometimes people lie.
The most unique thing, I have autism.
My dad's biggest regret is vaccinating me.
That's a joke.
And I'm also only into black men.
Is that appropriate?
Sure. Yeah.
- One more question. - Yes.
What's your name?
Matilda.
Well, it's very nice to meet you, Matilda.
You're awesome.
Dad, what is all this?
I'll explain in a minute.
Spreadsheets?
I don't want you to look at that yet.
Don't you think it's like a little bit early for spreadsheets?
That's a rough budget that I worked out
- for the girls for after... - What's a "living trust"?
It's a death tax workaround,
- but that's for later. - Okay. And what's this?
That's the easement contract for our driveway.
That's the easement contract for the driveway.
No, Dad, that's insane. What's that?
That is my healthcare,
and that is a long conversation.
No, Dad, I don't wanna deal with this today, please.
I get you've had some time with this,
and you are very prepared.
But this is like new to me, right?
And honestly, I'm still not convinced it isn't a trick.
Well, I don't wanna deal with this either.
- Yeah? - Listen, I wanna talk first
about who's gonna be their guardian.
Oh, you need me to be their guardian?
Oh, yeah, I'll do it. Obviously.
Like, what do you mean? Obviously, obviously. Great.
Now, let's like... Go out and have some fun.
Isn't there something, like, on your bucket list we can check off?
We need to work through the guardianship.
I really don't think we need to work.
Don't you think maybe instead we could go, like, skydiving?
I had a whole plan on how to discuss this with you,
and it was a good plan,
and you keep getting distracted.
Maybe there's, like, a girl
that you've secretly loved since grade school,
and we can go round to her house
and make, like, a dramatic declaration.
Nicky!
Please don't test me today.
This is my bucket list, okay?
Right.
I'm gonna go make sandwiches.
I guess that's somethin'.
Hey, girls.
Oh.
Why do you wanna sit with us?
Because we're BFFs for life.
You're BFFs with someone you hate?
- What? - You hate me.
I-I don't hate you.
Really? Because...
Barb said you hated me.
Were you lying when you said Genevieve hated me?
You promised you wouldn't tell.
Come on, as if this is a big deal.
A teenage girl saying she hates her girlfriend
isn't new or interesting.
You really think you're gonna sit with us?
I'm just gonna wait here until this all blows over.
- Genevieve. - TELLULAH: God.
MATILDA: Sorry, I know I'm really not
supposed to talk to you while you're at school.
- Hey. - NIKITA: Hi, Matilda.
I took your advice and I spoke to Luke,
he was so nice and friendly.
I think he might like me.
- Mm-hmm. - [LAUGHS] Luke?
Luke Zachary Brown Jackson.
I just feel like...
I feel very... like, happy,
and honestly a little turned on.
But I'm sorry to be self-centered like always
especially while you're having your first period.
How exciting!
- Your first period? - BARB: Wait.
- Genevieve, I thought that... - No, it isn't my first,
you girls know that, I got it when I was 12.
- Dude. - I'm-I'm confused.
Matilda, did Genevieve tell you today
is the first time she's had her period?
I don't know what the right thing to say is.
The truth.
[SOFTLY]: What do I do?
- Oh, what do I do? - GENEVIEVE: You're-you're okay.
Hey. It's-it's-it's my first time.
It's my first time. Matilda.
Matilda, you are right.
I... I lied to them.
You haven't done anything wrong.
- [LAUGHTER] - Girl!
Where do these lies stop?
- This is a dramatic turn of events. - I'm so sorry, Genevieve.
TELLULAH: Okay, now I'm really questioning everything.
Um, are you really in love with Leonard Jones?
Why would you want someone to think you're on your period?
NIKITA: You said you ate so many gummy bears that you vomited
and I wondered if that was possible.
- Can you just shut up? - Did you lie about your boobs too?
Can you shut up for a second?
I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid.
I'm such an idiot.
It's-it's okay. It's fine. Okay?
Just go and find yourself some space.
BARB: Is she okay?
She doesn't seem okay.
Just go.
- [MATILDA GRUNTS] - TELLULAH: Oh, my God.
She-she'll be okay in, like, 20 minutes.
[INTENSE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
I've regrouped,
and I have sandwiches
and I'm ready to try again
with the guardianship discussion.
Obviously me.
It's gonna be me, okay?
I know, I know I'm only their half brother
but I love them as if we were three-quarter siblings.
I don't want us to decide.
I wanna offer them options.
Options? What options?
I made sandwiches.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
These are some ideas.
Okay.
Dad, I don't...
I don't even know who most of the people on this list are.
It's a broad list. An early draft.
Auntie Tracey and Uncle Geoff?
No. Dad, they wanted to pray the gay out of me.
Which is surprising
because you have so many more pertinent flaws.
[INTENSE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLING SOFTLY]
Obviously I'm gonna do it, Dad, like...
Obviously, obviously. I'll be the best dad, okay?
Like, I'll braid their hair, I'll make their lunches.
I'll give them the best advice
about foreskins or the lack thereof.
[SCOFFS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
It's just, so far you haven't been that involved with them.
I haven't been involved?
- You're fun with them. - Fun?
When was the last time you took 'em a movie or...
Was I meant to be taking them to movies?
Do they...
Do they want me to be taking them to movies?
- No. I... - I... I had no idea this was a thing.
It isn't. It wasn't. I just... [SIGHS]
You think they won't want me.
[INTENSE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- Mum is on this list. - Yeah.
I shouldn't have put your mother on the list.
They hate my mum. I don't hate my mum,
but that's only because I'm not allowed to because she's my mum.
Yes, I just said. I shouldn't have put your mother on the list.
Oh, no, my...
Like, my feelings are hurting.
Like, it just feels... Like, it just feels real dumb.
[INTENSE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- What's going on? - [SUPPRESSED LAUGHTER]
I don't know.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Leonard Jones, is it funny
that I'm holding up a box of jumbo tampons?
Um... [CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, yes... Yes, ma'am.
MRS. HALL: What's funny about tampons?
LEONARD: Uh...
I don't know. They're just... weird.
Weird?
Tampons aren't weird, Leonard.
Billions of people have a uterus.
Uteri tend to bleed.
Tampons aren't weird, they are ordinary.
The only reason they seem weird to you
is because women are taught to be quiet and ashamed.
In spite of the fact we make humans in our stomach.
Hey, look, it wasn't just me.
What a brave response.
This... list of options
is terrible.
When I aggregate the data from today,
it just feels a lot like you don't think I'm very good.
[INTENSE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry for the role I played in this.
It's not your fault.
I don't understand how everyone found out.
Your friends must have told them,
but that doesn't make sense.
Why would they tell people if they are your friends?
'Cause... just because.
Friends are supposed to be good at keeping your secrets.
That's just not how things work amongst girls in high school.
Why are you friends with girls who are mean?
Because they're the best I've got, okay?
Better than sitting alone all day like you do.
I don't agree.
[DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
DARREN: I wanna say I'm sorry.
God, I can be such a baby.
I'm a man-sized baby.
Why would you think those people would be better than me?
I don't think they're better,
obviously you're first on the list.
Look, the truth is, I just wasn't sure if you'd want to.
I just... I'm not the monster you paint me to be.
Okay?
Okay.
Here's the actual truth.
I just feel...
It's embarrassing for me...
[VOICE BREAKING]: to have to ask you for this favor because...
I wasn't really there for you
when you were a teenager.
Well, that's silly.
- Doesn't feel very silly. - Well, it is. It's...
I'm telling you it's silly. That is silly.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I still don't like being a teenager that exists!
[GROANS, SNIFFLES]
You've been crying.
- Yeah. - No, we're okay.
I haven't seen Dad cry since we put Misty down.
Well, don't bring that up now.
Why are you even still here?
Right. Right.
I... I wanna get out of the house.
You wanna get out of the house?
- Girls, do you need to change or... - The hell is going on?
Yeah, Dad, what the hell is going on?
Uh, I thought we could go and get that banana pudding.
- Yes! - I thought you were on a diet.
Dad, this is a bad series of choices you're making.
Can't a man cry and want pudding?
Let's go!
Have I missed a fundamental social cue again
- or is this pretty weird? - It's weird.
What is happening?
Banana pudding.
♪ Get ready everybody, 'cause here we go ♪
♪ S Club ♪
♪ There ain't no party like an S Club party ♪
♪ Gonna show you how ♪
I'm just gonna turn that off.
[SONG STOPS]
So, what now, Dad?
Are we gonna not explain what's going on
and then will we all get out of this car
and then get in that line
with all the people for banana pudding?
We love their banana pudding.
It's famous.
If you're gonna tell us that Nicholas is gay,
we already know.
Do you need me to do this for you?
I don't wanna break my daughters' hearts.
- MATILDA: What? - We don't want that either.
Okay.
Okay, I'll try and...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So, here's the thing.
I have very bad cancer,
and I'm gonna die,
possibly quite soon.
- MATILDA: What type of cancer? - Pancreatic.
- Pancreas? Where's the pancreas? - Like, here, honey.
- I'll look it up later. - Okay.
MATILDA: How long do you have to live?
- Not long. - Weeks? Months?
I don't know.
- Oh, no. - Because...
Okay, this is important.
I'm not accepting any kinda treatment,
it's too far advanced.
- Do you understand what that means? - MATILDA: Yes.
I didn't realize I had it.
Are you in pain?
I'm on pain meds but so far it's not so bad.
But it will get worse?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
This is very upsetting.
DARREN: Yeah, honey.
[VOICE BREAKING]: It's really super upsetting.
Oh, baby.
MATILDA: Who's going to look after us?
Are we gonna look after ourselves now?
Nicholas?
Oh, no. I'm not prepared.
Um...
I would like to offer myself up to be your guardian.
But you don't know how.
Not yet.
And, um...
Let's be honest, like, am I the best catch?
No. I'm not.
And I'm, like, messy and clumsy
and, um, I don't know how to drive,
could be a problem.
Um, and, um...
But I am...
I am... I am very enthusiastic.
And...
Look, yeah, I'm inexperienced
but all parents are, you know.
Like, Dad, he, he had practice on babies.
And you girls, like...
You both know not to put your head in the oven, right? Like...
What's the worst that can happen?
So many bad things.
I mean, just so, so many terrible things.
Yeah, I'm replaying that in my head
and I don't... I'm not happy with it.
Um, look...
just... I'll be good. No, I'll be really good.
Like, I wanna do it and I'll be there.
And I'll be nice and I'll be, like, just the right mix
of, like, responsible and, like, cool and fun.
Relax, okay?
I like you.
It sounds like fun.
- That's a yes? - It's a yes from me.
It's a yes? Yay!
You are gonna miss me though, right?
[SNIFFLES]
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
Where's Genevieve?
Genevieve?
GENEVIEVE: Nicholas?
Can I come in?
I'm not sure about this dress.
Oi, um...
I'm worried I look like I think I'm somebody.
Okay, what are the other options?
- You hate it. - No. No, I do not. I do not hate it.
I just, um, I'd like to see...
You must have some other options.
I don't have any other options, this is what I bought.
Nicholas, I don't have anything else.
- This is cute. - Hasn't fit me since I was 12.
- Is this so bad? - It's like...
[SIGHS] Like, it's so pretty.
Like, you look so pretty.
It's just, like, it's not really funeral appropriate.
Like, this is a... like...
You're kinda, like, red-carpet ready.
I went overboard. I just, I...
I-I wanted it to be perfect.
Okay. Well, we can fix it. We can fix it. Right?
Do you have a safety pin?
N-Nicholas!
Where do girls keep their safety pins?
Why didn't the lady in the store warn me?
I look like a child whore widow.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah. I mean, it's like...
It's like the dress that I imagine
girls imagine they're gonna lose their virginity in.
I don't have anything else! Why would you say that?
I thought we were making jokes.
Look, here. Come here. Look.
You should have lied. Dad would have lied.
You suck.
I know. I know. I'm sorry, okay?
I guess I was just startled about how grown-up you look.
- You're lying. - Yep, I am lying,
but that's what you wanted. Right, look.
Please, next time let's just go shopping together.
Next time one of our parents die?
Both of mine are already dead, Nicholas.
Come on, that's not what I meant. Look.
It's better.
I just can't wear this now.
You ruined it.
Oh, Genevieve, oh, it's such a pretty dress.
Did you book this car?
Yeah. Yeah, I made a mistake.
How are you guys feeling about these party lights?
Not good, no.
No, not good.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Oh, no, this will not be fun.
Absolutely not.
No.
We saved you a spot.
Okay.
["IL TROVATORE: STRIDE LA VAMPA" PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]
- Hi. - It's cool to meet you.
At the firm, your dad was like a dad to me.
Okay. Okay, good.
Hi. Your dad and I dated.
- Oh! - Well, not seriously.
- Mm-hmm. - Just like...
- You don't wanna hear about this. - No.
Everyone at school is so worried about you.
TELLULAH: Yeah, when you come back,
you're gonna be so popular.
I can't believe how skinny you are.
You were such a chubby little boy.
[SONG CONTINUES OVER HEADPHONES]
I have been giving you space
because this is a very difficult time.
How are you doing?
Dad asked me to do the eulogy.
I like public speaking but not necessarily eulogies.
[SONG CONTINUES]
My mother had cancer,
but she had a positive attitude
and that's how she got through.
I'm pretty sure it was the cancer that killed my dad
and not his ability to be positive.
- Oh, did he mention me to you? - Hi.
Um...
I just am not socially equipped enough
to be able to say anything helpful.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.
- I'm so sorry for your loss. - I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's anything we can do...
If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.
Don't hesitate to ask.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Please come here. We've only got, like, one minute
before one of these people that I never knew existed interrupts us.
ALEX: You look hot in a suit.
I hate wearing black, I always look like staff.
Well, I'd like to go to a restaurant
where the staff are this well dressed
and then offer them sex.
- How are you feeling? - Ill-equipped.
Can we please talk about anything else?
Uh, my brother went off his lithium
and now we have to deal with his personality.
I'm thinking about doing a juice cleanse.
No. Juice cleanses are just expensive eating disorders.
Oh, but I love carrot juice.
I-I don't know where to be.
Oh, would you like me to hold you as well?
- No. No. - No, no.
Okay.
_
Hello. I'll be doing Dad's eulogy.
A lot of it is going to be focused on me.
Dad used to get frustrated
when I always made things about myself...
but he is dead now.
Surprise.
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
I hope by showing you how kind and smart
Dad has always been with me
you will all be moved and cry
which will increase my social standing,
which will in turn increase the chance of me finding
a very muscly boyfriend.
Dad wouldn't approve of that
but judging by the amount of ex-girlfriends in the room today,
he was a big hypocrite.
[LAUGHTER]
I wasn't born with an inbuilt understanding of many things
neurotypical people take for granted.
Oh, I have autism.
Surprise again.
I had to rely on my dad to interpret the world,
to teach me how to do every little thing.
So, I carry him with me every day.
Every time I tie my shoelaces,
or cross the road without dying
or make eye contact with anybody
or demonstrate a reasonable amount of self-esteem,
that is thanks to him going above and beyond.
When I was three, doctors told Dad
I probably wouldn't ever talk.
He always believed in me more than the doctors
and dedicated himself to teaching me to talk,
then I imagine he promptly regretted it.
[LAUGHTER]
So, even if you don't like this eulogy,
you should feel grateful to be witnessing a miracle.
When I look to Nicholas and Genevieve,
I get the same feeling
I only used to be able to feel with him.
In a big, scary...
confusing world...
they make me feel safe.
[SIGHS] That's the end.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the funeral.
Thank you.
♪ Fault her further on ♪
♪ All her flaws were gone ♪
♪ Covered in everything ♪
♪ Coveted all at... ♪
Genevieve, is it too heavy?
I-I wanna do this.
- You got this. - [GRUNTS]
[ALL GASP]
♪ Everything all at once ♪
♪ But I would fake ♪
♪ I would hate ♪
♪ I would break... ♪
I was just shat on by a ladybug.
Classic Genevieve.
What is wrong with you?
[SIGHS] Not now.
All I want in the world is 20 minutes alone on this bench.
Alone from me?
Yes, from you.
No, no, I wouldn't think you'd wanna be alone from me.
Please don't try and downplay how embarrassing it is
that I just dropped our dead father.
Can I convince you that it's in some way my fault?
No.
I guess I just, I just wanted to see what's up with you actually.
Because...
I mean, I guess it's quite obvious. But, like, I don't know, like...
Uh, this feels weird because me and you have never had to, like,
talk about things.
But I just...
You just seem kinda mad at me today.
And I just... I can only guess why,
but I just wanna say, like, I'm not, like...
I'm not trying to...
I don't think I'm him. Okay?
So if you're upset that I'm not him,
I just wanna say...
you do not have to be mad at me
'cause I hundred percent agree.
We see completely eye to eye
on how less capable and magical I am than him, okay?
Like, I'm not trying to replace him.
I'm me and I'm here and I'm trying my best.
Nicholas, this absolutely isn't about you.
Right.
People seemed to quite enjoy my eulogy.
Best eulogy I've heard.
Who the hell is this guy
and why is he everywhere all of a sudden?
- Oh... - What are you doing
in our dad's funeral car?
I knew I shouldn't have been in this car.
Are you guys like boyfriend/girlfriend?
- BOTH: No. - We're like...
Genevieve, it doesn't matter. Why are you trying to make it weird?
[STRAINED]: Put the champagne down!
Finally I can get out of this stupid car.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Will you stay?
Oh, no. I'll get myself a car. I shouldn't.
But I need someone to hold me while I cry.
And I would. I would be that guy
but right now you have to deal with your sisters.
She... hates me.
She doesn't hate you, her dad just died.
Okay. Well...
You may as well take this car.
I booked it for another three hours.
This car is so silly.
Maybe you're an idiot?
No.
I booked it...
I booked it on purpose
and then I pretended it was a mistake
because I thought it would be like a special bonding moment.
All right, okay.
I promise usually I don't have emotions, okay?
I'm like a real boy.
GENEVIEVE: I don't like you very much!
Can you please hug me?
I actually really don't like hugs.
Dad taught me to do them when I was young
and they made him happy so I did it for him.
But I was hoping since he's dead now,
I wouldn't have to do them anymore.
- Oh, my God, okay. - Yes.
Um, no hugs, that's fine.
Well, what do we do when I wanna get the feeling from you
that we'd get from a hug?
How about I'll dance with you?
Okay.
["LONELY CITIES" BY TIGERTOWN PLAYING]
♪ Why we gotta go ♪
♪ So far down different roads? ♪
♪ Now I wonder ♪
♪ If I want it at all ♪
♪ Is this how it's gotta be? ♪
♪ Your love away from me? ♪
♪ Now I wonder ♪
♪ If we had it all ♪
♪ All I know, if you could only see that ♪
♪ California dream that I've been living ♪
♪ Say you'll come ♪
♪ You're leaving New York City ♪
♪ It's just a state of mind ♪
♪ We'll leave it all behind ♪
♪ You and me are further than we should be ♪
♪ Let's escape from the lonely cities ♪
♪ You and me are further than we should be ♪
♪ Break away from the lonely cities ♪
♪ We walk around, all we hear is ♪
♪ The sound of our lonely heartbeats ♪
♪ And when we dance, all we feel is ♪
♪ The beat of these lonely cities ♪
♪ And when we dance, all we feel is ♪
♪ The beat of these lonely cities ♪
It's actually, um...
It's just so hot here.
I'm in the middle, I'll just...
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
VOICEOVER: This season on "Everything's Gonna Be Okay..."
You gotta tell me what's going on.
You're starting to look a little unhinged.
I am a woman. My sexuality is budding.
This is a level of messed up I am not equipped to deal with.
I have some news. Genevieve hates you.
Why would you tell me this?
I know that you're used to this sort of thing, but I'm not.
We didn't choose you.
We were left with you.
Those two are my whole life now.
- Say I love you. - I love you.
Genevieve?
Yes?
[MUSIC PLAYING]