Previously on "Good Girls"...
- _ - What's it say?
They said I took their stupid pen.
I don't know what you do,
but it doesn't come from painting nails.
This right here, crime jar.
- What is that? - Happy anniversary.
No. One of us has to be good!
Why?
Before we get started, I wanted to introduce you to Lila.
I'll see you at home.
- Pack up your desk. - No.
I'll tell them how you promote using only your vagina.
So what are we gonna do here?
Gain back his trust.
Pay someone else to blow his brains out?
- A professional. - Max has that cousin.
He's a former Navy SEAL. He'll do it.
Third one this month out of Detroit.
- Car paint? - Or nail polish.
Eww.
It's a woman.
Guess what I did this weekend.
Not a spray tan.
I'm allergic to the chemicals.
- What's your hair's excuse? - Mm.
So I called Gary in Terrorism
who knows Stephanie in Foreign Affairs.
You're not even listening.
Well, my weekend was way better.
I had him recall the nail polish.
Why?
Well, eventually, they'll need more, right?
And then we'll know.
- Who signed off on that? - Dave.
Wait, my Dave?
He just doesn't know it.
- DL Dave? - Mm-hmm.
You know he and I were, like...
- Oh, I know. - Like, all weekend.
All over. I mean, like, everywhere.
You think he ran into you by accident?
God, I love you.
Needed him busy.
By the way, what's his wife like?
Private sector. Perky boobs.
Mm. What a waste.
Rite Aid, Walmart, Walgreens, Amazon, eBay.
I mean, there is a nail salon in Bloomfield Hills
selling them for $200 a bottle.
What? Did you try Sephora?
- Did you try Sephora? - I tried everything.
Dude, how can one nail polish color just suddenly be gone?
My manager says their wholesaler's out everywhere.
It's just weird.
Who would even want this butt-ass ugly color besides us?
- Exactly. - You guys...
We don't need it.
Well, it won't pass without that glow.
Then we don't make anymore.
Uh, tell that to your boy.
He won't be here.
We have enough to hire Max's cousin.
And he's not "my boy."
A'ight. Let's dip.
We're rich!
- Not ours. - Whose is it?
Homeless, elderly, underserved youth,
whoever needs it the most, we'll give it to them.
Why?
'Cause that's what good people do.
You guys, go pee before school.
So who does this go to?
Tsunami survivors?
It's not right.
This is like "Below Deck."
It's just not you, okay?
They keep one guy up on the bridge overnight
to be a lookout.
Okay.
Why does it have to be me?
- You're the cop. - Maybe I'm asking you to take a shift.
My ship has sailed, Stanley.
Well, then I guess nobody's gonna be watching
when the iceberg hits.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
We should focus.
Well, that's exactly how I studied in high school.
Well, if that worked, then we wouldn't be here.
On to geometry.
Oh, sorry.
It's Josh. Dinner stuff.
You guys going out
for a bit of bangers and mash?
Perhaps some fish and chips?
- He's cooking. - Mm.
Well, reheating. Okay.
- How are you with theorems? - Super strong.
Real good. So, like, you know...
What do you guys... what are you guys into?
- I don't know. Lots of stuff. - Yeah?
Yeah, like, uh, what?
Books?
We have fun.
Mm.
Like, uh...
fun, fun?
Like crazy fun.
Well, that's the best kind.
Yeah, like, you know,
I-really-shouldn't-even-say kind of fun.
Dr. Cohen.
It'd be inappropriate.
But, of course, I'm not your patient.
They don't have sex.
How do you know?
He's a mouth-breather, and she's a light-sleeper,
so they keep separate places.
Okay. So?
For nine years.
Doesn't mean they're not getting nasty.
They take Egyptology together at Wayne State.
They're not getting nasty.
How are we even supposed to know what this guy looks like?
He'll find us.
What'd you tell him? Look for the blind person,
or the D-bag?
Where is this guy?
Oh.
Hm.
Yeah...
Mrs. Boland.
Beth is fine.
Max got me up to speed on what y'all are looking for.
- Awesome. - Cool, cool.
And do you feel like it's something that you're...
capable of?
If I'm being totally honest here,
I might not have what it takes.
Really?
But you've done this kind of job before?
I work mainly with explosives.
Oh. That makes sense.
Car bombs, IEDs, pyrotechnics,
stuff that really, you know...
Leaves a mark.
Bingo.
From what Max said about your target,
he's not a guy who's so easy to get close to.
You're gonna need a sniper.
Well, where do we find one of those?
I know a guy. Already got him up to speed.
Hold on a minute.
Max got you up to speed
so you could get another guy up to speed?
How many speeds are we looking at here?
He's who you want.
Who is "he"?
I have no idea.
He's that good.
Well, how do we find him?
He finds you.
Okay, we've got a bit of a problem
'cause we're in a time crunch.
We provide a service for the target...
That we are not currently able to provide, so...
So we need to...
neutralize our target before we become his target.
You want it done right, don't you?
Thumbs up, or thumbs down?
Thumb...
thumbs up?
Gonna need to see 'em.
Now put them up your asses
'cause this might take a hot minute.
And so when the song came out, I was like,
"Hello, Mr. Smith, I've been saying
'get jiggy wit it' since '91."
And when did it hit the clubs?
'95, earliest.
Guys, I have news.
Just got heads up from corporate.
We're not supposed to know, so act super surprised.
But we just won the Crystal Whale
for the Southeastern Michigan division.
Dope.
Great job, everyone. Let's get back to work.
You got some nerve.
What's your problem now?
Every person on that floor busts their ass for this place.
They go to conferences, they chase every lead,
they work overtime, they never see their kids, and for what?
To get dressed up and watch you collect some award for...
for, for co-signing their deals?
I told them to put your name on it.
What?
You have a choice of walnut or mahogany base.
Mahogany ages better.
Why me?
Your first month here, you got higher sales
than Eric had in eight years.
- Thanks. - You earned it.
Oh, would you tell the team that they're allowed
to have fun at the show? I'm not a total monster.
Why don't you just tell them yourself?
I'm gonna skip this year.
Use my ticket for your wife.
I like Circus Peanut.
It's too bright.
Yeah, Island Mango's closer.
The hue's off.
Well, can't you just do a combo thing?
I am not McDonald's. I don't just do combos.
It took months to get this thing legit.
Check your phone.
- I just did. - Did you check Facebook?
'Cause a hitman's gonna friend-request me?
Oh, like you're so versed in how they communicate.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
It just has to be good enough to buy us some time.
- Yeah, come on, girl. Beast mode. - You got this.
One part Peach En Fuego, one part Tang Bang,
a few drops of Prairie Fire...
And a smidge of Oh My Darlin' Clementine.
Fire up the press.
- Why don't we talk about... - No.
You don't even know what I'm gonna say.
One question, then we move on.
- Great. - Fine.
- Now? - Shoot.
Why her?
We're compatible.
The woman dehydrates fruit.
My favorite.
- She loves Pilates. - So do I.
No man loves that.
Well, that's how relationships work, Annie,
at least healthy ones.
Hot.
Say there's 100 things about a person you could like.
Connect to anything over 50, and it will last.
- Whew. Scorching hot. - It's not a bad thing
for partnerships to make sense on paper.
I guess I just don't really believe in lists.
Taking inventory of a relationship
helps you realize what matters.
Like Pilates and dried fruit.
Those are just two, but yeah.
Gotcha, boss.
That's enough for today.
I still have three minutes left.
I'll credit your account.
Look, all I'm saying is that I'd rather not
have to crunch numbers to find my mate.
How's that gone for you?
That is enough for today.
Oh, by the way, Mrs. Karpinski said
she may have a futon for us.
We would be sitting on a giant litterbox
with all those cats.
Oh, and I won the Crystal Whale.
Really?
You are looking at the Southeastern Michigan
regional hot tub king.
- Spa. - Spa.
Spa king.
- Will you come? - Of course.
Will you wear that dress?
What dress?
The one you wore for him.
What's that?
Money.
No.
It's not.
- Yeah, it is. - Not money I could use.
Oh, we had to change the formula.
Change it back.
It's not possible.
Yo, I been thinking about this, um,
relationship of ours.
Lot of issues, you and me.
I don't disagree.
Cut you in. That didn't work.
Gun to your head. Nothing.
I don't know how to incentivize you anymore.
So...
Open it.
I don't get it.
Take it out.
I don't want to.
We got another job for you.
Well, whatever it is, I don't want to do it.
Oh.
Take it out, Elizabeth.
Maybe you're right.
I'm the problem.
Well, go ahead and finish me off.
If you want to.
We're good.
Cool.
That's what he used to take of your friend, by the way.
Why?
Incentive.
Why did I touch it?
Why did you touch it?
What was I supposed to do?
Not touch it.
Some hood-ass man gives you a questionable envelope?
Okay, for starters, you guys weren't there,
and the atmosphere was very threatening.
You don't open it.
Okay, I'm, like, so used to that man
just handing me guns that I, like, I don't even think about it.
God, he's good.
I need you to stop that. It's making me crazy.
It's how I think now.
He's not getting a good batch without my Creamsicle Sunset.
What about that place that we went?
The markup is insane.
I wasn't talking about buying it.
Well, they're gonna know it's us.
- How? - Because that woman
saw our faces, Annie.
She didn't see mine.
I'll do it.
You touched it.
God doesn't need your stuff.
What good is stuff to the King of kings?
What he wants is our hearts and our souls
and our creativity to think outside ourselves
through service.
Ruby Hill, come up here and give your testimony.
Sister Hill saw a need in our community,
and she filled it.
Tomorrow, I'm taking women from the Brush Street Mission
to a nail salon.
It's not a big deal. I just thought that these
underserved women should feel good about themselves.
And she's humble, too. Amen.
Amen.
I can't decide. Fingers or toes?
Do both.
Oh, come on.
Sarah, open the door.
You want to sort of tilt it back,
more towards your butt.
- It won't go in. - I promise it will.
Just shove it on up there.
How?
She just got her first, you know, code red.
Look at the picture on the damn instructions.
45-degree angle, baby girl.
Oh, 'cause I have a protractor.
Let me in. I will help you.
Go away.
Is there a key to get in here?
Oh, my God. Of course.
Bet a man made those instructions, right?
Well, now you know how to put one in when the time comes.
What'd you steal in there?
Don't worry about it.
I was an accomplice.
We're even now. Your debt is paid.
You're the biggest hypocrite.
I'm your mother.
So it's okay for you to just do
whatever you want whenever you want?
Oh.
You think I get off on this?
What an example you are, Sister Ruby.
Don't look at me with your little smug, judgy face,
like you're grown when you know nothing about nothing.
I have homework.
What, you thought kidneys grow on trees?
I made a choice, okay?
To do something I thought I would never do.
And it wasn't for fun or to have nice things.
What do you mean?
I bought you a second chance.
I'm sorry, I stole it.
Something that insurance, prayers, neighbors,
none of that could do.
And I will be damned if I threw my soul away
so you could turn out like this.
Why didn't you just tell me that?
I didn't think I'd ever have to.
What's all this?
I had to take more than just the polish to pin it on,
you know, the underserved.
At least they got free mani-pedis out of it.
You did good.
- Hey. - What did he forget?
Homework.
He had his backpack.
Hm.
This is... We have paper at home.
Oh.
- Oh? - Yeah, the, um...
- Seriously? - I had to ask you something.
- There it is. - I knew you would never come.
Yeah, well, you were right.
All right, what, what?
Okay.
What was on your list?
Huh?
Like, when you first met me, what did you like?
- Your boobs. - Right.
But what else?
Well, I mean, the fact
that you showed me one during detention.
Okay, I think I mean more like, you know, like...
like why'd you choose me?
- I gotta go home. - Hey, you know,
you're the one who wanted me to go to therapy in the first place.
Fine.
Um...
you were really...
you're a really good mom.
- Eww. - Eww? That's a nice...
- It... - All right.
All right.
Say, like, we were at a party or something,
and someone was doing something stupid,
like laughing too loud,
or some woman comes out of the bathroom
with her skirt tucked into her underwear...
Even if I wasn't right next to you, I just...
I knew that I'd look across the room
and you'd be cracking up 'cause you'd seen it, too.
So does that count?
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. What are you doing?
- Therapy. - No, you're just hammered.
- So? - So I have to go home.
Just stay for one drink.
It's never just one with us.
Well, I have a brand-new bottle.
Yeah, that's part of the problem.
We don't even have to have sex.
We could just, you know, get naked and hang out.
No, no.
Sorry.
Dakota's having trouble sleeping at night.
I do the night feeding, so...
I got it.
Okay.
Hey, you got a shaker?
I don't have any furniture, man.
Beth, we gotta go.
What about olive picks?
There's no time. Limo's almost here.
They're roadies.
Phil went to the Radisson instead of the Sheraton.
Oh, snap.
Yeah, you like it?
You must be a beaver, 'cause damn.
Dude, chill.
Can you zip me up?
With pleasure.
You look incredible.
Not so bad yourself.
Thank you. Hey, will you record my speech?
Yeah, let me see how much battery I have.
I'm gonna tell the kids to go to bed
like they do in the Oscars.
What?
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
Martini or prosecco? Shout it out.
Are you serious right now?
I know how important this is.
It's the Crystal Whale.
- You're not coming? - It's 'cause of him?
No. No.
You know what? Don't sweat it.
It's fine. Hey, let's roll. Limo's here.
No big deal.
Dean.
It's not a real thing anyway.
Hey.
I needed to meet face to face.
In my line of work,
you have to be careful who you get in bed with.
So our mutual friend got you up to speed with...
I am so sorry.
I can't talk shop on an empty stomach.
Do they serve breakfast all day here?
Great eggs B.
Done.
Was it not good?
Exquisite.
Dolly Parton famously takes one bite of each food group.
It's how she's kept her figure.
Oh?
All right. Shall we look at our calendars?
Can...
I'm kind of new to this.
I don't get a lot of repeat customers.
Um...
How does this work?
Say I'm your lawyer.
I usually do a fair amount of prep work
before we would go to... trial.
So I charge by the hour.
Research and discovery is billed at 700.
The defendant, is he local?
Okay, so travel is not an issue.
All other expenses are on top of the retainer.
Trial itself will run you 60 grand.
We were told 30.
By a man with no arms, who you're free to hire.
I only brought 30.
You'll receive invoices as we go.
So how is...
Tuesday at 3:45?
Is that too soon?
- No, sooner's better. - Oh, no, scrap that.
I'll be in Ohio.
Any chance he's in Ohio?
All right, the next available slot
that I have is...
Oh.
Friday. Morning.
That works.
Done.
Thank you, Mrs. Boland.
_
Hey.
How'd it go?
Oh, it was...
it was pretty great.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What are doing here?
Following up on some emails.
Why don't you go home?
I really don't have much to go home to, Dean.
My husband has three TVs in his office.
Each one has a different sporting event on at all times.
My daughter practically lives with her friend.
And...
my Labradoodle only eats
if my husband fills the bowl, so...
Oh.
I thought I'd put this on your shelf.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
Oh, it looks good.
You went with the walnut, huh?
I don't...
I don't think you're...
you know, a monster.
What now?
I have a surprise for you.
- I'm scared. - I did my homework.
That is a surprise.
Yeah, well, Greg came over.
Oh, okay.
And we started making that list.
- Oh. How'd it go? - It was... revelatory.
- All ears. - You see,
every time that we had something in common,
I just wanted to rip his pants off, you know?
Like, for example, we both like making sandwiches
out of Pop Tarts, but that didn't even make it
on the list because we started kissing.
And not just like a little peck.
Like, full on, with tongue, making out.
- That kind of thing. - Mm-hmm.
Oh, and we both like naps.
- Well, who doesn't? - Mm-hmm.
But see, of course, that doesn't make it
on the list, either, because by now,
we're in each other's pants.
And, you know, when I say pants,
I mean, like, we're deep inside the underwear.
And, uh, you know, we're both
just so crazy turned on
that we don't even make it to the bedroom.
So we're on the couch, and he kind of, like,
kind of flips me up on top of him,
you know, in kind of a Cirque du Soleil type...
Okay, I get it, Annie.
You know how it is when you're just so...
you're so in sync with someone that it kind of feels like
an old song you know all the words to?
Every instrument, every note,
every beat, the rhythm,
and the tempo, you know, it just take you over until...
Okay, yeah.
And all of a sudden, you're not even human anymore.
You're just an animal.
Just made out of nerve endings
and feelings in that hot, aching need...
All right.
So I guess what I learned is that
there could be 99 things on that list,
but, to me, only one matters.
And what's that?
Spark.
But I'm...
but I'm sure you must have that, right?
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for your advice.
Nail salon robbed, right?
Super ritzy suburb. Guess what they took.
Not that coat.
- How's DL Dave's mood? - Not good.
Think he'll give me the go-ahead?
He's still pissed about the recall.
It's like Bin Laden, right?
If nail polish was a weapon of mass destruction, sure.
No one believed the analysts when they said
follow the courier.
The CIA didn't listen to them for years.
Thought they were useless. Basement trash.
You know, 'cause they worked in the basement.
But they sift through the evidence,
they track every lead,
and they end up being the ones who cracked the case.
They found him.
Not the Pakistani ops. Not the fancy drones.
The basement trash.
That's definitely trash.
- Hey, it's new. - It's a parade float.
- I'm going in. - Okay, take that off.
It's offensive. Tell him I ran the analytics.
Did you?
I will by the time he's done yelling at you.
Don't cry. Save it for the bathroom.
And don't compare this to Bin Laden.
You know this bitch is hiding in a cave somewhere.
Do not.
Just gotta root her out.
Here's a question.
Are there actual truffles in truffle oil?
Because one shaving of truffles is like a gazillion dollars.
And, like, a bottle's 10 bucks.
I quit my job today.
Why?
Um...
I kissed my boss.
Why?
She kissed me.
Okay.
So... I, I kissed her back.
And then what?
She tried to undo my pants, and I stopped her.
Why?
'Cause the tux have that weird double button,
- and so I... - Why did you stop her?
Because... I don't want her.
I want you.
But I don't really have the best track record,
so I don't expect you to believe me.
And if you need me to go to my mom's,
just you say the word.
But I really...
Beth, I really want to stay.
Dean.
Yeah.
Don't go.
Better not be my baby girl
roaming these halls at midnight.
Better be sleepwalking.
I figured out who we should help.
This family,
their kid was killed by a drunk driver.
That's awful.
Dad lost his job, bank took their house.
How did you find these people?
I got their daughter's kidney.
How you feeling, champ?
Incentivized.