Jay, what you doing?
Stay where you are.
Sorry, sweetheart. Who are you?
Ohh. You are handsome.
Fuck-it!
Cheers, mate.
Wait, where are the police?
See they wanted me to plant a tracker on you guys,
but I knew that they were full of shit.
So, I stuck it in Mrs. D's fish instead.
No harm done.
You have two minutes to explain.
And it better be good.
OK.
Kim.
There is this TV show called Crystal Maze
and at the end all the players,
they have to stand in this big fucking
- crystal dome thing. - Right!
Oy, just give him a chance.
And they blow all these bits of silver and gold shit
into your face, but the trick is
you only have to catch the gold ones to win.
If you catch the silver ones, you lose.
OK, you can kill him.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... OK
I went to the police because
since Dad died
I've just been fucking lost in the crystal wind.
Shit blowing in my face
and the only person who can help me separate
the gold from the silver, is that kid standing right there.
Look man, my loyalties are to Nicky and Beth
and...
he wasn't exactly gonna save himself, was he?
Because, well... love makes you do stupid shit.
Whoa! Hold your horses.
Sorry, permission to help a boy.
- You do know I don't. - Yeah, that would be...
- No, I think you're nice and everything. - I think you're nice.
- Oh, thanks. - I just mean in the same way that
- I think that that candle is nice. - Yeah, that's a lovely candle.
It looks nice. It smells...
- It's scented actually. - ... like pine cones.
Wow.
I on-boarded it.
OK, and I'm sorry,
but when I realised what they were up to I on-boarded it.
And out flew the devil
just like Pandora and her little wooden horse.
Beth babe, you are a lifesaver.
I thought we had an agreement.
Brooks!
What the fuck do they want with Beth?
Hello, Alan.
- Well, look what the cat dragged in. - What do you want?
I've got a cat actually.
Yeah, always bringing dead birds in.
Heads cut off.
Guts all over the fucking kitchen floor.
Apparently, he's supposed to be a gift.
We thought that was quite a bold choice on his behalf,
- you know what I mean? - You got your money and your fall guy.
Why are we even having this conversation?
No, because your little pal let the cat out of the bag.
Terry now knows that Ian did not kill Jimmy
and the money is nowhere to be seen.
You kept the money.
Oh my God.
So now I need you to bring me a little gift.
Otherwise, it won't be me calling you next time.
And Terry is a lot more vicious than her dad ever was.
OK.
Meet me in Carl's café in couple of hours. I'll send you the location.
You'll get your money and your dead little bird.
I appreciate that, Joe.
I really do.
Why are they at Beth's house? Is she OK?
I told you to give that money back, didn't I?
Now is your chance.
Go and get it.
We're leaving.
They'll be here soon.
Make sure Jay's ready with the money, over.
Roger that, Mom and for the record
I'm still super angry with you.
Roger that, Kim. Let's deal with that later. Over and out.
OK, please don't ask for my permission
and then say out before I had the chance to answer.
- It's really annoying. - Copy that.
- Completely understood. Over and out. - You just spoke right over me.
You do realise that?
Radio comms only, please Kimmy.
Thank you. Out.
You sure about this, bro?
They are at Beth's house man. I've got to do this.
But we seriously got to start talking about the business.
Get us up and running. You get me?
Shit. Hold this.
Please say out at the end of your messages. Out.
Out.
You alright?
What the fuck is going on, Jay?
I find half a million pounds in cash.
The two police detectives, with guns,
are in our house going through our stuff.
I'm trying to make it right. OK?
I was just trying to...
Look, I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life
with the geezer off the fish counter. I get that.
What are you on about? You know I don't care about that.
Look, I got plans for me and you that's all I'm saying.
I don't need plans, Jay.
I need my boyfriend to be honest with me.
Do you want to talk to me about honesty?
All right, if we're being honest then Beth,
and you really don't care about my job and all that, then...
marry me.
- What? - Yeah, serious. Marry me.
Jesus! Jay. I... It's...
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Hey, just listen to me...
No, just forget it... I have to go.
Jay!
Come here, man.
OK, this is the place.
Alright. So when he comes out,
could you... Can you just stop doing that?
Let me do all the talking.
We need the money and him in the car.
- Thompson! - Sorry.
God!
- _ - 'Cause I hate it
when places only serve dishonest foreign food.
Yeah. Like Halloumi.
It's like stop pretending to be chicken
you cheesy bastard.
Who's that?
Here we go.
Get into the car, sweetheart.
I was told this was a bag-drop.
Well, we are not exactly going to do out here in the open, are we?
Do not leave, that's my line of argument.
Listen, this is the same conundrum, yeah,
- that I have with tomatoes. - Oh my God, don't get me started on tomatoes.
It is like... you're not a fruit, are you?
If you were, you'd be delicious or fruity
like don't go around with that. I'm not a vegetable as...
- Yeah, you know what. Listen, fuck tomatoes. - Fuck tomatoes.
Would you two, please shut the fuck...
Where's Kim?
There's cameras on the café.
If you get in the car,
we'll go somewhere quiet.
While we're still young. Whenever you're ready.
I'll drive. You shoot.
- What do you want us to do? - Oh, I don't know.
Maybe just take care to stay the fuck out of my face
- and I'll really appreciate it. - Oi!
Are you with them bastards?
- Get out of the fucking way! - Not till I know what's going on!
- Move! - Or what?
What's going on?
They were gonna kill you. Could you not see that?
Take this.
Shit!
Fuck this!
Kim. Take mine.
- What are you doing? - I'm gonna ask you to swap.
Shit!
Shoot the bloody tires.
I'm trying. Hold it steady.
Magazine.
Watch my windscreen. Watch my fucking windscreen.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
Aaaahhhhhhh!
Whoa!
Fuck!
Fuck-it!
We should to find somewhere to camp.
It'll be dark soon and it's still a long drive to the cabin.
Who says we're going back to the cabin?
It's just somewhere safe to lie low make a plan. OK?
Even you would agree with that, wouldn't you, dick wallet?
Dick wallet?
- What's a dick wallet? - Right, that's decided then.
We'll camp tonight and we will leave for the cabin at first light.
Seriously, what's a dick wallet?
I think she means some sort of dystopian future
in which money no longer means anything.
- Right. - And the only currency...
- Yeah? - ... is for some unknown reason
the savaged penes of your fallen enemies.
Right. Which you could carry around
- in some kind of bespoke leather-bound... - Dick wallet.
- Right. - Exactly!
Yeah. But I mean,
cool, but,
I think it would be more of a purse.
You have to tell him, you know.
About the business.
Yeah, I could tell him.
Or I could just change all my life plans
and start a landscaping business to avoid having that conversation.
OK.
I'll tell him.
I just need you to tell me exactly what to say
word for word.
It's easy. You just...
look him in the eye.
And you say:
"Jay, you're my brother,
and you know how much I love you"
and care for you.
And I know this is a really hard time for you, but...
I can't start a business with you, bro.
I've been offered an internship in London.
I'm really sorry man. I just...
What do I know about landscaping
and with my hay fever I'd be terrible.
Compost gives me a rash.
I'm more of an indoor person.
- I just think... - Just...
I get it.
You got to do what's best for you.
Hey, don't feel bad about that.
Yeah?
Thanks, man.
He's right, you know.
When this is all over, you should do whatever you want.
Just don't undervalue what we have, that is all I ask?
OK! I'm gonna go and get some more firewood.
Nicky, you coming?
Sure, you're OK?
I'm fine, kid.
Go on, go with Kim.
Come on, come on!
Beth's pregnant.
And she didn't tell me.
I mean, why would she?
I mean, what am I really gonna offer her and a baby?
That business was the only chance I had, man.
Do me a favour. Close your eyes, Jay.
Now, just imagine, it's,
you,
and Beth,
and the baby.
And... you're in a cabin in the woods.
There's nothing else.
No pressures.
No expectations.
No TV.
No money.
Nothing.
Just let that all melt away.
Cheers.
I'll leave that with you, Chump.
_
Yeah.
All right, boss.
We'll let you know.
That was Terry.
She's sending reinforcements.
She said if we don't find them then she'll take one of us instead.
I used to be a good cop, you know?
Life was a lot less complicated.
We're gonna find this mob
and when we do,
we're gonna tell Terry that the money just...
disappeared.
And then we're gonna split it 50/50. I swear.
If she finds out she'll kill us both.
I gave my whole life to Terry and her dad.
If I'm gonna die alone,
I'd rather it was with an eight ball of coke
in a beach rental in Malibu.
Do we understand each other?
50/50. And,
you have to promise to stop being such a grumpy prick.
I think I can manage that.
Thank you.
Now fuck off.
That was amazing. I can't believe I just said what I thought
and saying what I thought made the situation ten times better.
I don't get it. It's that what people just do all of the time?
No, nobody does.
Well, how do you ever tell anyone what you want?
By dropping subtle hints and sighing loudly if they get it wrong.
Right. So if I wanted to kiss you now, how would I...
go about it in your world?
You would spend six or seven months beating around the bush
and then just drink half a bottle of vodka
- and then... - I'd like to kiss you now.
Oh.
Please.
My way's better.
See?
Wow!
That's number 16 well and truly crossed of the old list, eh?
You read my book?
I'd say more like... browsed
or leafed... really.
Dipped my toe in, even though,
it'll go "the water's cold in here. I'm out."
Say something.
You see, you can't trust him.
Kim! Kim!
Nice one, dipshit.
Looks like we might get our little bird after all.
Where are those reinforcements?
Any minute now.
All right, then.
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -