[LAUGHS]
Stop, don't look at me!
But I love you.
Ugh! It's the only warm thing I have.
It's gonna be so cold. I can't wear this.
Where did you even get that?
Vegas?
Here, wear this. It was Dad's.
What? I'm not gonna wear this.
I just think maybe you can and it's fine.
I'm not gonna wear your dad's sweater
to a memorial for your dad.
What would be a more fitting occasion?
Can't I just, like, wear one of your things or something?
It's just wool. It's just yarn.
- You're just being difficult. - [SIGHS]
- [EXHALES] - [NICHOLAS LAUGHING]
- Stop. - [NICHOLAS CONTINUES LAUGHING]
What the hell are you doing?
Take that off.
You told me to...
[KNOCKING]
Ohh!
Hello.
Dad died at 7:24 a.m.
Which is almost now.
I don't think we should be alone.
So can we have a minute of silence?
Yeah. Genevieve!
We're doing a minute of silence.
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, let's do a minute of silence.
Should I, um... just sit on bed or...
- Shh! - Is it... Is it starting?
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
Today I'm gonna donate
a lot of money to a cancer charity,
so I can post the receipt on social media.
Okay.
I also want to write letters to Dad...
then burn them as part of our ceremony.
All right, Genevieve, what do you got? What do you need?
Mostly I just wanna be sad without worrying about
someone trying to make me feel better.
Great. Let's do it. Let's cure cancer.
- [CHUCKLING] - Let's burn our feelings
and ignore Genevieve.
- Thank you. - MATILDA: Good.
I'm leaving now.
Are you wearing Dad's sweater the same way you would wear
a Justin Bieber T-shirt to a Justin Bieber concert?
Okay. He tricked me.
I did, I did trick him. I'm a funny trickster.
Darren Moss.
Husband, father...
friend, organ donor.
Now, let's all honor him
by sharing moving letters from the heart.
What?
What? We're not sharing them.
Are we? We're not sharing them.
Just burning them in the fire, aren't we?
That's silly. How will we know what everyone wrote?
[SIGHS] Okay.
Wow.
One year. Where has the time gone?
"Dad, you told me that no matter what happens,
"you'll always watch over me.
"I remember thinking that was very nice at the time
"but recently...
"my life hasn't been great,
"and I'm worried you're disappointed.
"If so, I want to tell you that I'm doing my best,
"and since that's all you've ever asked of me,
"it would be pretty hypocritical to be disappointed.
"And Nicholas and Genevieve are fine.
Warm regards, Matilda."
[KISSES, EXHALES]
GENEVIEVE: Um...
"Hey, Dad, what's up?
"So, lately, um, I've been trying not to think about
"nihilistic existential dread
and instead just imagine you meeting John Lennon."
I know you were really looking forward to that.
I hope you're not disappointed.
They say never meet your idols.
"So...
"controversial statement,
"but I actually thought a lot more about Mom today.
"I know. Very rude.
"But it's just that there's still so many things
"that remind me of you
"that it feels like you're still around.
"And...
"without you, Mom's the one who really feels gone.
And you were the keeper of Mom stories."
That's all I wrote.
Nicholas, it's your turn.
Um...
No, can I just burn mine?
I don't wanna read it aloud.
Are you afraid you'll look gay?
[CHUCKLES] I just...
No, it's just embarrassing what I wrote. It's just all... it's not good.
This is a safe space.
How about I go first and then you can decide?
Okay.
ALEX: Uh...
Um...
"Dear Darren...
"Uh, I want you to know
"that in our short time together
"I felt seen by you.
"Thank you for being open and welcoming
"even in your last days.
"That must have been hard.
"To be vulnerable around someone new.
I'll always admire that about you."
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
Nicholas, do you wanna go?
Yeah, so I... Um, the thing is... Okay.
The thing is, I-I didn't write nothin'.
You didn't write anything?
NICHOLAS: No. Well, no.
I had a different understanding of the task.
Yeah. I thought we're just burning them.
I wrote "Dad. Yay."
Um...
Yeah, I've ruined it, haven't I?
I've ruined it a bit.
Let's just say something now.
Say something from the heart.
- The heart? - Yeah, or...
Maybe just share like a nice memory.
Uh... Okay.
Um...
Yeah, I mean, I had all day to write something
and I couldn't come up with anything.
The idea that I could improv is a bit of a reach, isn't it?
I mean...
I'm not Wayne Brady.
MATILDA: Uh, you still have to burn the paper.
Okay.
You're being so weird today.
Yes, all I wanted was them to have a nice day
and instead I've been so weird.
Do you wanna talk about this weirdness?
- Absolutely not. - [CELL PHONE RINGING]
Hello, Mother.
Did I tell you that I'm seeing a therapist?
I mean, I don't know, maybe.
You tell me everything, and yet, nothing.
Well, it's basically, just a friend
I have to pay to listen to me talk.
I had this big breakthrough.
- I did a test and it turns out - Would you make some tea
- that I'm an empath. - for everyone, please?
Can you imagine?
- [PENNY CONTINUES, INDISTINCT] - I'd love some tea.
I mean, you're the only person I even like.
Or maybe some methylenedioxymethamphetamine?
PENNY: Well, I did blame myself for your father leaving.
I mean, I just took all of that burden on.
It turns out, the only thing that was wrong with me
is I was wronged by him,
because he knew my weaknesses
and he took advantage.
And what was that?
I'm too nice. I did this test.
So it has been confirmed.
We're going to bed now.
Ma, I gotta go.
PENNY: Oh, they don't wanna say hi?
- NICHOLAS: No. - PENNY: Oh, fine.
Well, I'm too busy to talk now anyway
because I'm ordering lunch from a new place.
The food is so fresh, the menu changes every day,
so we'll talk later.
Goodbye. You're going to bed?
- BOTH: Mm-hmm. - Well, that's very sudden, isn't it?
Are you sure you don't want some lemon sorbet?
No.
Are you sure you're not going to bed
to be all alone and sad and devastated?
Not in the dramatic way you're imagining.
Okay, then, good night.
Good night.
That's too much tea for two people to drink
and then go straight to bed.
It's okay.
Think we should stay up for awhile.
Stay up? You, why?
I think we have a lot to talk about.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. I'm in big trouble.
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
- [TOOTHBRUSH VIBRATING] - Matilda?
Do you wanna sleep in here tonight?
- Why? - Well, 'cause I think
maybe I don't wanna be alone.
[SPITS]
I have to sleep on the side furthest from the door.
Genevieve?
Yeah?
MATILDA: Are you crying?
Um... kind of.
MATILDA: Really?
- No. Are you? - No.
What were you thinking about during the moment of silence?
Dad. What were you thinking about?
North Korea.
- Genevieve! - Wh... Okay.
I know we're supposed to be sad,
and I am sad every single day,
I just didn't feel it today.
Neither did I.
It was just so much pressure.
It's like when you're supposed to have fun on New Year's Eve.
Hmm.
What are your thoughts on North Korea?
Pretty interesting place, no?
ALEX: It's not healthy to keep things in.
You know, pain gets stuck in your body, causes cancer.
My dad's cancer,
causes my cancer, causes your cancer.
When will the cycle end?
Why won't you tell me what you're feeling?
Do you even know?
I know Matilda blew her nose on this blanket.
I know that.
I'm just trying to make sure there's nothing you wanna talk about.
Like what, politics? Fracking? Mutual Funds?
I don't know what they are.
You're being annoying.
I just don't know what you want me to say.
Yeah, my dad died and it was sad.
But also it's not like a unique experience,
you know, people's dads die.
Okay, well, would you say
your relationship with your dad was complicated?
Yes. Very complicated.
But then he died and that really uncomplicated things.
Okay, because sometimes,
and I don't wanna make you feel bad...
[SCOFFS] Well, here we bloody go.
But sometimes you're kind of closed off
and emotionally unavailable.
- [LAUGHS] - And it's challenging, okay?
It's really challenging.
What, you're mad at me for not being
more emotionally available for my dead dad?
I'm not mad at you.
I'm just trying to give you a space to talk.
And it's up to you to occupy it.
Ugh. When you said that, I feel like
I felt something important in my body shut down.
Oh, my God, they're secretly awake.
Can we go in there? I wanna go in there.
No, we're not doing that right now.
Ugh. You're a leech. You're a little leech.
Okay. I decided what I want actually
on the anniversary of my dad's death,
my very special day,
is just, please, to do some hugging?
[KISSES]
I was thinking about Drea.
What?
During the minute of silence.
Oh.
Um, I see.
- Is that bad? - No.
What were you thinking?
I miss her.
What do you miss?
I don't think I'm supposed to talk about
how I miss my ex-girlfriend
on the day that our dad died.
No. It-it's fine. I wanna know.
I miss how she would never try to figure out
how to help me or fix anything. She just...
always tried to find the next interesting thing
for us to talk about.
- I'm sorry, Matilda. - [SIGHS DEEPLY]
Why did I have to be born straight?
Life is a cruel mistress.
- Are you straight? - Yeah, I think so.
Well, how do you know if you've never had sex?
All right, no need to bully a girl
on the day her dad died.
No, silly.
It's just that, you don't have
anyone to talk to about this stuff.
So the responsibility has fallen on me to teach you.
No, the responsibility has fallen upon the internet.
Okay, um...
How about this? Uh...
What's something you miss about your dad?
[SIGHS]
Look, I know what you're doing and it's nice,
but I don't like talking about these things
because my opinions change
and I don't wanna be locked into my words.
I won't hold you to anything, okay?
I just wanna hear about him.
I liked that he always wore a belt.
- [LAUGHING] - What? No. You said...
- You said... - Oh, my God!
You said I can say anything.
I cannot be the only one
in this relationship with feelings.
I'm so glad that we've pivoted towards you.
Let's unpack.
[ALEX GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
You watched your dad get sick and die
and you never talk about it.
You can make jokes and distract yourself with the girls.
But you cannot sit here and tell me
that you didn't feel anything today.
I can't say I didn't feel anything.
I'm not a monster. I just...
Actually, can you let go of my hands? That is...
That was revolting.
Could you just promise me we'll never do that again? Please?
- Yes. - Okay.
I just... I don't know... I just feel like...
Sometimes I don't know how to articulate why I'm upset.
So, like, why talk through all the options
when maybe I'm just an abstract feeler?
[CHUCKLES]
Is that why you didn't write anything today?
No, I just...
[LAUGHS] literally thought we were burning them.
Why didn't you write anything today?
I don't, like, believe in magic.
You know, I didn't think the notes
were going to Dad's ghost.
Why didn't you write anything today?
Stop Good Will Hunting me!
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Okay, listen. Okay. Come here.
Listen. Here... Here's why, okay?
Don't you think that, like...
Don't you think that it would be, like,
selfish for me to be sad today?
[LAUGHS] No, you had your dad die.
Yeah, but not like they did.
Why are you tryin' to be a tough guy, huh?
Suddenly I'm dating Vin Diesel?
No, I'm not Vin Diesel.
No, I'm literally not Vin Diesel.
I just like... [TUTS]
I just... Guess I feel, like, their sadness
is more credible than mine.
I-I... I feel like I'm like a guest in their grief.
Do you wanna have sex?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Yeah!
Actually, I kinda do.
Wow. Um...
Oh, when my dad left, you know,
that was a bit of a shock, because, well...
Well, I didn't really know that parents could just leave.
But my mum, she... she was so devastated
that I thought, "Oh, you know,
maybe this is her thing to be sad about."
And so I kept quiet.
But she, um...
Yeah, she didn't seem to notice that I was keeping quiet.
And then, the only thing that, um, made her feel better
was talking about, um...
how much of a shit guy Darren was.
Um, and I thought, like, "Yeah, okay. Sure," you know.
But then I would come here and actually, um,
I'd see him with the girls, and actually, like...
he'd be a very good guy, and, um...
Well, that was pretty...
It is what it is.
Want some Brie?
Ever talked to anyone about this?
To who? Who are these people listening to my sad feelings?
ALEX: I don't know, people. You know, family?
- Friends? - NICHOLAS: Hmm.
Yeah, I hear you. Um... and-and, uh,
let's not make this a referendum on my likability
but I've never really had friends.
Hey.
Well, like, not like you do.
ALEX: That's not true.
I'm sure you've had plenty of friends.
I went to, like, movies and I traded stickers, but...
it wasn't like sharing my feelings.
Okay. W-what about Penny?
Have I told my mum all the ways that I think she's failed me?
No. No, that's never come up.
What's your thoughts about penises?
Um...
I mean, I'm-I'm intrigued,
which is insane considering what they look like.
[BOTH GIGGLE]
MATILDA: Sometimes, they curve.
They start one way and make a turn.
[SNICKERS]
What about pubic hair?
Mine or theirs?
'Cause mine is ready to present.
Though I'm not, I'm not sure why.
I'm gonna buy you condoms.
I know about condoms.
But you don't know what the guy
knows about condoms.
So I've decided to get you
a discreet monthly delivery to your nightstand.
Monthly is very ambitious, Matilda.
[BOTH GIGGLE]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
- Oh, it's my mum. - Don't pick that up.
Why? No, but it's a ringing phone. I don't make the rules.
No, I don't understand you.
Why on Earth would you answer that now?
- Well, I mean, it could... - Think about what
we're talking about, Nicholas.
- What if it's a nice call? - Nicholas.
Maybe she saw my high school bully at the market looking sad.
- Oh, my God. No way. - [RINGING CONTINUES]
- No. You don't care. - Okay.
Fine, fine. I'm ma... I'm making...
- I made her go away. - Great.
[RINGING STOPS]
Yeah, I'm gonna call her back now, actually.
- Oh, my God. [SIGHS] - No, I am.
NICHOLAS: No, I am gonna call her back, yeah.
[LINE RINGING]
[BEEPS]
Surprised you bothered to call back.
Yeah, sorry, it's just been a long day.
Well, mine's just started and I'm all alone
and I cannot stop thinking about
how my ex-husband died before I got closure.
Yeah, I know. That is... That's a lot to be dealing with.
And you know what sickens me the most?
- That I still care. - What?
You can't let her say this.
Babe, you have to put a stop to this.
He's up there, he's up there
right now, and he's just basking in my pain.
Well, I mean, if you think now is the right time
to confront her, then...
- No. That's not... - NICHOLAS: No?
- Okay. - No.
PENNY: I think Darren was a bit of a sadist
or he was a sociopath.
We'll never know for sure.
NICHOLAS: Ugh. No.
Mum, you can't say these things.
He was still a good dad.
PENNY: I don't subscribe to the idea that you can't
- speak ill of the dead. - No. Mum, stop.
I don't like it when you say mean things about my dad, okay?
You can't keep doing this.
Well, if you're in a mood,
I think I might take myself off somewhere else.
- [LINE DISCONNECTS] - [SIGHS]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. She hung up on me. No.
Actually, that doesn't feel good.
Why did you think this feels...
'Cause this doesn't feel good.
- This is dumb! - No, that was good.
You put yourself first.
You set boundaries.
No, I like being there for my mum.
I only said that just then
'cause you were standing there staring at me
with all your pressure and judgment.
When actually being there for my mum is a thing that I like.
You can't be there for everybody all the time.
You're not responsible for her.
Yeah, actually I'm gonna call her back and apologize.
- ALEX: No. - Yes.
- No! - Oh, yes!
Please, let's do this for a lot longer!
ALEX: Okay, fine. Sorry.
Just listen to me for a sec, though, please?
I think that you put everyone's feelings
before your own because you're scared
that if you don't, they're gonna abandon you
like your dad did.
But Darren leaving wasn't your fault.
Okay? And you're allowed to be sad.
Okay? And you're allowed to let other people know
about your feelings even if it makes them sad.
No one is leaving you.
We love you too much.
Okay?
Did you hear that or...?
What you said was very nice. I liked it.
It made me feel good.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Well, hello, there.
What's happening with you?
Well, I found out that owls spit up all the mouse bones
that they eat in little pellets,
and if you find one you can build a mouse skeleton.
But they won't give me one.
It's never sports or exercise for you, is it?
- [NICHOLAS LAUGHS] - Literally anything else.
Well, it's quite good to build a mouse skeleton, though, isn't it?
I think it's good!
[LAUGHS] Oh! So I had to go back on Tinder.
What happened to Malcolm?
PENNY: Oh, he's on there.
That's who I'm looking for, to be honest.
I knew that he was up to something,
so I put a location device on his phone.
- What? - PENNY: And he was.
- No. - PENNY: He was.
He was crisscrossing all over town.
And every time he showed up at a new cafe,
there I was.
So I think he worked out what was happening,
and I haven't heard from him since.
It's hard to imagine what you've got planned
to say if you match.
Oh, I think I'd have a lot to say.
- Don't you worry about that. - [NICHOLAS LAUGHING]