Aww, I can't believe
you're going on your very first sleepover!
Please, Mom, I'm not some baby.
Did you pack Mr. Bun Bun?
And Mr. Num Num.
Oh, thank God.
Bye! Have a great time!
[Sobs] Wow, I didn't know I was gonna feel this ... this...
freakin' pumped!
We haven't had a night to ourselves in five years.
We can do whatever we want!
We have nothing holding us back!
[Gasps]
Together: We can run errands!
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪♪
[Chuckles] Kid-free night.
♪♪
Your sticky toffee mincemeat brandy bun
is cram-jammed with flavor!
Ahh, it is so cram-jammed.
How'd she get the meat so minced?
Bridgette!
Grab a Snuggie and get in on this action.
Sorry, can't.
I'm going out to Logan's tonight.
It's the hot club right now.
Boo! A club?
Come on, it's Crumpet Week!
Yeah, so, remember how we agreed to warn each other
if we ever started to turn, you know...
old?
What?
Just 'cause we're drinking lavender dreamtime tea?
Lavender dreamtime?
Uh, yes, please!
First pour, though.
Daddy doesn't like it too strong.
Guys, you have a whole night to yourselves
and this is what you're gonna do with it?
You're old.
No, we're...
not?
[Easy listening music plays]
♪♪
[Gulping]
[Beeping]
Good night!
[Motor whirring]
Lavender dream time?
Uh, yes, please!
Take us with you! [Tires screech]
- You sure? - Yes.
We'll party just like the old days ...
rage all night
and then stumble into Brite Spot at dawn
for chocolate-chip pancakes.
Yeah! Let's do this right!
[Guitar riff]
[Chuckles] Hope you guys like Weezer.
[Electronic dance music plays]
Together: Whoa!
- Whoo, whoo! - Whoo!
♪♪
Hey, my dude, my man, my bro.
What's a guy got to do to get a few shots around here?
Uh, stop trying so hard?
Four tequilas, please.
Huh?!
Uh...
[Beep, chime]
Whoa! One hundo percent.
So lit. Thanks.
To being lit!
[Chuckles] "Lit" means cool.
Alright, I'm just gonna go over here
while you guys are talkin' like that.
Wait, isn't he, like, some big YouTuber?
Yeah ... Jaxon Pill.
Samsung paid him a hundred grand to unbox a Galaxy,
and he literally shit all over it.
Mama, mama, red pajama.
See you guys.
I'mma go slide into his DMs, IRL.
Isn't he a little young?
M'kay, byeeeee!
Three more shots, please.
♪♪
[Switch clicks]
Ha! ♪ Closing time! ♪
Yeaaaah, son!
Ooh! Let's go get those pan-que-ques!
Huh? Oh. Whoops.
[Music resumes, people shout] Sorry, my bad!
Rage on!
Wait, it's not closing time?
[Chuckles] Nah, bro, it's only...
[Slo-mo] Niiiine fifteeeeeen.
♪♪
Hunh!
Daaamn, you've got six million subscribers?
Plus four milly on Insta.
You wanna come back to my crib?
I got a custom Lambo.
So Gucci, right?
Soooo Gucci.
Ugh, there's nowhere to sit, and my back is killing me!
What?!
I said my back is killing me!
Yeah, totally.
I don't know about you, but my back is killing me!
Should we just... call it a night?
We can't!
That would be admitting we're old lame-os.
Ugh, what's wrong with me?
I'm already so friggin' tired.
Guys, I think I'm...
old.
- [Groans] - Whoa, hey, watch out.
Hey, barkeep! You got any, uh, craft beers?
Maybe a double IPA?
[Sniffs]
I'm gonna need to see some ID, bro.
Really? [Chuckles] Wow.
Thank you, Rogaine!
I've got boxers older than 21. [Chuckles]
Congrats, bro, you qualify for our VIP room!
[Alarm blaring] [Crowd chanting "VIP!"]
VIP? Ohh, man.
I can't wait to post about this on Tripadvisor.
Whoa!
I wanna do that!
How do you get to be a VIP?
[Laughing] Whoa!
[Chanting continues]
Oh, my God.
It's so beautiful.
Huh? Whoa.
What? No!
Oh, my God!
[Splat]
Holy crap! What the hell was that?!
Dude thought he could cruise in here
over the age of 30 and not get executed?
SMH, bruh.
♪♪
Josh, I don't want to die!
We gotta find Bridgette and get outta here!
We can't let anyone in here know we're over 30.
♪♪
Mmmm! Mmm.
So what's up, girl? You wanna come back to my crib?
[Laughing] Uh, okay!
But just to hang out. I'm not some YouTube groupie.
Hey, that's cool. We'll do a little screen time,
PBS Kids and chill,
get my mom to whip us up some snacks...
You... still live with your mom?
And weekends at my dad's.
He's so strong. Uh...
Wait ... how old are you?
Me? I just turned 26 ...
Oh, whew!
...months. 26 months.
What?!
♪♪
[Gasps]
Oh, my God! You're a baby?!
Nah, I'm a big boy.
I haven't had breast milk in over a year.
Though in your case, girl,
shoot, I'd go back on that teat.
I'm going to jail!
Bridgette!
Are you shitting me?
[Sniffing]
Oh, wait. No, that's my bad.
[Panting]
Ugh!
Can I, uh, see some ID, my man?
What?! Why? We're ... We're hella young.
Right, bae? Uhh...
For realsies.
Like, seriously, I'm about to get a Bird scooter home
and just jump on my parents' insurance.
[Boing]
Hmm...
That checks out. My bad! [Laughs]
Thought you were VIPs for a second there.
Ha! No worries, my dude.
We gotta jet, but hit me up on the Facebook.
Only old people use Facebook.
Uh... no, I meant...
Snapchat! Venmo? Uh...
Look at me floss. [Grunting]
[Ominous music plays]
Alex: I remember Blockbuster Video!
[Crowd gasps]
That's right. I owned cassette singles!
I used AOL to "surf the Web."
I am...
old!
[Alarm blaring] [Crowd chanting "VIP!"]
[Alarm blaring]
What the hell are you doing?!
I'm just a tired old man who can't even party anymore.
If anybody should die tonight, it's me.
Get away from me, ya punk millennial!
Aw! He's sacrificing himself to save us.
Very cool. Let's go. No!
We can't leave him!
[Crowd cheering]
♪♪
[Grunting] Get ... Get out of the way!
Ugh! Oh! Oh, whoa!
Whooooooa!
[Grunts]
Hey! Leave the old people alone.
Let me go, Josh! It's my time!
I can't let you do this.
You've still got lots to live for!
Dude, what's the point?
I'm only gonna get older and lamer!
But what about all the good parts of getting old?
Like how no one expects you to keep up with new music anymore?
On a Friday night, you can just stay in
and watch "The Great British Bake Off"!
And your beard's gonna get all salt and pepper-y!
I'm all about older guys right now!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're saying I could have
a Clooney vibe here?
Ohhh, God! No, no, no, I wanna live!
I wanna get old!
[Both grunting]
[Clanking]
[Crowd cheering]
[Camera shutter clicks]
[All scream, grunt]
Noooo! Everyone over 30 must die!
Just like in "Logan's Run"!
Dude, did you just reference a movie from 1976?
[Crowd murmuring]
That's why you named this place "Logan's"?
How old are you?
What?! No! I ... I must have seen it
streaming on Crackle or ...
Aah! [Crowd gasps]
This dude's pushing 50!
[All gasp]
[Retches]
I just wanted to keep it young in here!
You can't have people over 30 in your bar.
Then it becomes a pub!
And I would have gotten away with it,
if it weren't for you nosy 35-year-old kids!
[Crowd booing]
No, no, no!
Aaaah!
[Glass shatters, doors slam]
[Crickets chirping]
Yo, if you feelin' me, then "wike and subscwibe."
[Sighs] I know he's young,
but he is cute.
Wow, is it just me, or are these pancakes...
Disgustingly sweet?
Yeah, I guess our tastes have changed.
And that's okay. We've got new tastes.
[British accent] These Bakewell tarts got a soggy bottom.
[British accent] Cram-jammed with potato curry!
[Laughter]
Alex: We saw a guy get killed tonight.