Oops! Sorry.
These look like rocks.
Truffle, gold flakes, butter...
Ugh.
So annoying to go shopping with gloves.
But I have to do it for the look.
Truffle olive oil.
Yes.
All right, so I need truffles.
So this is $1,000 a pound. This is $3,700 a pound.
I'll get this one, please.
Ew.
Sardines.
Excuse me, do you have gold flakes?
They're 23 carat.
Is this good for you?
It's edible.
Can I please get four of the filet mignons?
Sure.
That's it?
And a big pickle, please. That one.
Thank you.
I love cooking.
But I'm not a trained chef. And I'm not trying to be.
I have a few go-to dishes.
Sliving nachos,
jello shots,
lasagna.
But I wanna mix it up, so I'm expanding my repertoire.
I've found some brand-new recipes,
and I'm inviting my friends over to test them out.
Will we create culinary magic?
- Moment of truth! - Wish me luck.
- Yes! - Yes. Oh my God!
Anything's possible.
I love my family.
We've been through so much in life, but we're still so close.
I'm inviting my sister and my mom over for dinner.
They're very hard to impress,
so I'm going full-on luxury.
We'll have caviar for my mom, Kathy.
Filet mignon with truffle butter for my sister, Nicky.
Gilded onion rings for me.
And a wedge salad with homemade buttermilk ranch dressing
because who doesn't love ranch?
This will be the first time I'm having my family over
since I finished renovating my house,
so I'm going opulent, with crystals and pearls,
to transform the dining room into a sultry steakhouse.
I've never made anything this fancy before, so...
may the truffle gods be with me.
We got it?
It's made from crystals, rare crystals.
Set it down gently.
Ta-da!
Please be careful of the floors.
Okay.
Okay, let's park here.
Look how cute you look in your velour.
Matching with Mommy.
Paris, let's go.
See, I got you some new clothes too.
See?
Oh my gosh, stop!
- Oh my gosh! - Look at this cutie!
Look at you, you're a fashionista.
Let's go.
We have to go downstairs, 'cause my mom and sister are coming soon.
Oh, this looks so nice.
Mm-hmm.
Love it.
Okay.
- Oh my God. Black truffle. Smell this. - Did you buy that at the market?
The Farmers Market, yeah.
- There's this really cool French store... - Oh wow!
So, yeah.
I'm just gonna get started on the truffle butter.
How to make truffle butter.
"One stick." I guess...
- This smells amazing. - I know.
But please watch your finger, I'm so nervous you're gonna chop it off.
Ow!
- Oh my gosh! Smells amazing. - Loves it.
It's basically, like, the gold of food, I think.
- And then I got the gold flakes too. - Luxury.
- What? - Put some in there just for fun.
It's stuck.
- Gold's attracted to you. - Bitch, get in here.
Beyond.
Yes.
Make it look pretty.
This is cute.
That looks very expensive.
You excited?
Do you want some caviar?
I would never normally do this, but since we're having a fancy dinner tonight,
everyone deserves a little bit of this.
You're spoiled.
One more bite and then I have to get dressed.
Don't tell my mom I did that. She'll think I'm insane.
- Hi! - Hi! There she is!
Welcome.
- You look beautiful. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Hi. - Love your outfit.
- Oh my God! - This is beautiful!
Thank you.
Wow! So clean and chic.
- Sliving. - Wow!
Just what you need, another picture of yourself.
Yep. I just got it shipped in from the Netherlands.
Wow, you're very organized.
- Look at this. - Very.
- Oh my God! - Aren't those beautiful?
- Are these... What are... Are they real? - Yeah, they're real.
Don't tell me this is your cookbook.
Yes. I made it.
The cutest thing I've ever seen.
- This is, like, the recipes. - Hold on. Where did you get this?
At the Farmers Market. This little French...
Can I taste it?
- Yeah. - What does it taste like?
Gold.
- What does gold taste like? - Can I say something?
- Money. - No.
Is it bad for me?
No, it's for food.
Cooking with Kathy and Nicky.
So, what are we cooking?
"Family steak night."
I have, like, truffle butter.
We have, like, gold-flaked onion rings.
- What about caviar? - Obviously.
Mmm.
Oh, you do have some caviar. Wow!
- Whoa! - Lots of caviar.
It's so good.
How old was I the first time I tried caviar?
Um, at the Waldorf at a cocktail party,
you just came in and had your little pajamas on.
And, of course, you wanted to taste the foie gras, the cheese,
and I said, "Do you wanna try this?"
And she loved it. You didn't like it.
- 'Cause I always... - I did not have it till a year ago.
- Now you like it. - Yeah. Okay...
Yeah, that's nice.
All right. Where do we start?
Shall we do the onion rings?
How to make gilded onion rings.
Okay, "Cut onions into 1/4-inch rings."
Here.
Just because, otherwise, it's gonna make your eyes get all watery.
- Are these mine? - No.
- Did I get these for you? - Yes.
Cooking tip.
Wear sunglasses when cutting onions so your eyes don't burn.
And you'll look hot!
Actually, this is helping.
It is helping.
Oh my God!
- Be really careful. - I know... I can't see! Hold on.
- Well, get a pair that works. - No, no.
Well, you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to use this.
Well, I can... Here, you do that. Let me try this.
- Go like that. - I've never seen one of these.
- I love onion rings. - Me too.
- Cool! - This is very cool.
Okay, this is good. Look. I like this.
Mom, you cut it the wrong way.
What do you mean?
- Supposed to be onion rings. - Onion rings!
- What did I do? - Cut it the wrong way!
Mom's onion rings are brutal. We can't use those.
I'll make a few. That's good.
"Cover onions with two cups of buttermilk."
- Okay. So... - Where's...
Let's put the onions in here.
And do what with them?
Put buttermilk on them.
I'll just, like, throw these in here.
Honey, you're getting your feathers in everything.
It's not the most practical cooking outfit, but I like to cook in style.
- How much buttermilk? - Two.
- Okay. - And then, "Two cups of flour."
Is the flour in here?
Yeah. Straight ahead, next to the Captain Crunch.
Next to the Captain Crunch. Oh! Okay.
Paris, all you have in here is, like, candy,
Starburst, tuna fish.
Okay. Here.
Mm-kay.
Can you put some flour?
- How much? - Two cups right there. Two.
No! Oh, you put it...
- On top. - We don't...
- No, I think we should mix the batter. - Are you sure?
So, are they fucked?
- Oh, we were supposed to mix it all. - Do you have a whisk?
Then do this. Should we start over?
That's what I said, you guys! That's what I said.
- That's what I said. - You're right.
- Sorry. - Know what? Should I rinse this off?
'Cause it's like glue now.
Oh, this is much better.
She's rinsing the onion rings.
They're all clean now. Look.
- Honey, I have all these ready. - Okay.
Do we have a broom, 'cause I got it all over the floor.
- Paris? - What?
- I got water on the... - A broom doesn't get it off.
- A broom! A mop. - Not a broom. A mop.
Just use this paper towel trick.
And there's feathers everywhere.
You're messier than I am.
Okay, let's really try to make this good.
I'll put the flour in here, I guess.
I think it's supposed to have all this on it.
And what is this for?
For the... These things.
Oh, I see. You're gonna now put that in here?
You gotta put the right amount, otherwise it's gonna get all...
You guys are giving me anxiety.
- Too many cooks in the kitchen. - Too many cooks in the kitchen.
I needed a perfume break.
Let's go over to the fryer.
They look like little donuts.
- Let's see. - You're so slow.
That's good.
Like this?
Just take your time.
Lightly dip it, and then...
Yep. Okay.
Back up, because I might kill you.
Loves it.
There we go!
- Now we're in business! - Now we're in business.
These look good.
Then we place on a paper towel-lined sheet tray.
Can I try one?
- These onion rings are insane. - Are they good?
- Mmm. - Mm-hmm.
- Hmm, good. - Good.
Oh, look at that! Looks beautiful!
Ooh!
Wait, where's the ranch sauce?
Um...
Oh, we're making ranch.
You know what's so good is homemade mayonnaise. But we don't...
Dude, I'm already making homemade buttermilk ranch.
- I'm not doing homemade mayonnaise. - Okay.
How to make buttermilk ranch.
I'm gonna start with the buttermilk.
Okay.
Sour cream, mayonnaise.
This is really disgusting and weird.
Why do you get everything in a squeezy bottle?
It does keep it fresher.
This is two, 'cause I can't deal with...
- Nicky. - Two.
Okay.
Right?
How much lemon?
- One teaspoon. - Okay.
I love dill. Mmm.
Where did you get the food?
- Farmers Market. - Oh, they have great stuff.
Will you chop parsley?
One teaspoon. Chop it nicely.
Oh, look at you!
Very quick.
You've done that before.
I'm a natural.
You are a natural.
The things that I do cook, I cook well.
Does that look good? Look good?
Yes, but we only need one teaspoon. That's way too much.
- Did you put garlic powder? - I didn't do garlic powder.
The feathers in the ranch.
Ranch is ready?
It's... Yeah.
You sure?
I'll try it.
- The ranch is good. - I know, right?
They're pretty good.
That's something, Paris, that would be good to learn.
What?
Putting it all... You know, making it really presentable.
Yeah? You're saying I don't know how to do presentable?
- No. I just... - That's truffle butter I made.
- Oh my goodness! - Homemade.
- Is that Gucci? - Mm-hmm.
- That is fabulous. - And it's gold.
Does Carter know how to put together a car?
Put together a car?
A little baby car.
- We just got this little toy. - Minimobil.
I'm sure he could figure it out. He could do anything.
He can do anything?
- Yes, literally. - Does he know how to change a tire?
I don't know. We haven't done that.
- I'm sure... He can do anything. - I have to really do some investigating.
He's the best.
All right, guys. Salad.
How to make wedge salad.
Should we do the bacon?
The bacon could be wrapped around the steak.
- It's for the salad. - Oh.
Which way?
Is that not a wedge if I cut it like that?
Let me see.
No, you'd have to just... Just cut it in half.
Let's take that off.
Just always that first.
It needs to be for three of us.
- So just, like... - Yeah. Just like that.
- That's a perfect wedge. Okay. - One...
Okay.
I have a bowl.
No! No, no, don't...
- I cut it into three perfect slices. - We had it in wedges.
- Whatever. - Just ruined it.
It's just salad.
Okay.
These look good.
- Put it on here, honey. - This is good.
Will you crumble it?
Okay.
- Is that good? - Perfect.
Hell yeah.
- "Remove steaks from fridge." - Nicky, you do that.
They should always be room temperature. You should've taken them out a while ago.
Don't be so difficult.
How to cook filet mignon.
Why don't we rinse the steak off with a little water?
- Never heard of rinsing steak. - I like to rinse them off.
I've rinsed chicken, I don't think you rinse steak.
Just rinse it for a second. Just...
Everybody's mitts all over it and touching it.
I mean, ugh!
This is weird.
Well, now the steaks are wet.
- Just sprinkle it? - Just sprinkle it.
What's that chef's name who does that? The sprinkling?
- Um... - You have no idea what I'm talking about.
I have sliving spices over here.
Maybe a tiny bit of the garlic salt?
Truffle olive oil.
Mmm. That's what I like. It's not too strong. Just a little, honey.
- Should I put this on the steak? - What is it?
This, like, steak meat seasoning thing.
- Don't put too much. - A little.
Yes.
That's cute.
- Oh, that looks very good. - Smells so good.
I think we should open our own restaurant, girls.
Yes.
Right?
The steaks are getting hot. They need to be flipped.
Loves it.
Do you have a glass, honey? Do you have a little glass?
Yeah.
Just a glass. I don't want a mug.
Just a glass.
- What, do you have one of each thing? - Yeah.
Are you one of those people that has... Hello Kitty, Chanel.
There's one of each thing. But... Oh.
- "Boss babe," okay. - A glass?
She gives you a mug.
'Cause I just moved and, like, everything's still in storage.
But you managed to get one of each glass.
Let's take the steak off.
Oh my God, I'm boiling.
Voilà!
What are we... Oh my goodness, I love those plates.
- Are those Goyard? - Yeah.
All right, what do we do with, like...
We need the truffle butter.
- So... - We'll put more of this on it.
- What is that? - Truffle.
You got truffle-itis.
Final touch.
Designer steak.
Everything looks so pretty.
That's really cute. It's adorable.
- Beautiful. - This was fun.
- Okay. You guys ready to eat? - Yes!
- Let's do it. - Gotta get off my feet.
♪ Dig, dig, dig Well, all right ♪
♪ Well, all right ♪
♪ Chuff, chuff, chuff Well, all right ♪
♪ Well, all right ♪
♪ Hi, hi, hi ♪
♪ Well, all right Well, all right ♪
♪ The music's stompin' to ya You know tonight's the night ♪
Bon appétit.
So proud we made all of this.
I'm very impressed.
I can't believe we made ranch dressing.
- It's crazy. - Mmm.
Love ranch.
Mmm. Now I'm gonna try the steak.
- Mmm. - Mmm.
Really good.
Very good.
Do you like ketchup with your steak?
- No. - No, I don't.
- You do? - Yes.
- Where did you learn that? - I don't know, just...
You never did that.
I was embarrassed, they wouldn't allow me.
I just like it. Don't shame me like a chef would.
Chef shame!
We were talking about how we used to always prank call.
- Who taught you about prank calling? - You.
I heard you were prank calling last night.
I just remember, when we...
Growing up with it.
Yes! No, when we were young. We'd be, like, 12, 13...
Real good influence.
And our friends would come over and we would just prank call all weekend.
I always said star 6-9, I think was because of me.
Probably.
What?
- What? - The cav.
- Shoveling the cav. - I need a shovel.
Do you have a pearl shovel?
Can we get a pearl shovel?
I'm obsessed with these onion rings.
- They're bomb, right? - Yummy!
What has been your favorite thing you've cooked?
I've cooked so many things.
I just made frittatas with Kim,
- which was a lot of fun. - Yum!
I've never known how to do that before. I've always loved them.
And does she seem to know what... I've never seen Kim cook.
Wait, you should...
- Do it when you're not bending over. - Does Kim seem...
- Wait till you finish chew... - And chewing.
I mean, I'm just myself.
- Well, you wanna look hot on camera. - Okay.
You're ruining my vibe.
Bitch, don't kill my vibe.
Does Kim seem to know what she's doing in the kitchen?
- Is she comfortable? - Yes.
But that was her first frittata as well, and we were very proud of ourselves.
So then I made it for Carter this weekend and he was very impressed.
- Carter and I are always together. - Boys!
Like you and Dad have never spent a night apart, neither have we.
That's right.
- You've never spent a night apart? - Never.
The day after Thanksgiving, I could tell
- that you had a big crush on him. - Yes.
You'll always have your business and work,
but the fact that you've met somebody so wonderful,
and that you love and care about...
I got married so young. I met Dad at 15 and then married at 19.
So you're just beginning.
Love you, honey. Cheers!
This dinner was fancy AF,
and honestly tasted even better than it looked.
I impressed my mom, my sister, and even myself today.
I just hope I haven't created a monster
letting Slivington taste the cav.