Do you have a toilet that I could use?
You need to sign for it.
Need to what?
Sign for it.
Nah, it's hardly like I wanna buy it.
Well, the toilet's in the building out the back
so most people, they take the key
they walk out, and then they forget to bring it back.
And then they drive God knows where with it, so...
OK. So how does signing for it actually help?
Cos I could still sign for it, and then
still take the key away and forget.
Out the front, round the back.
DOOR CREAKS OPEN
FLIES BUZZ
WIND WHISTLES
HE SIGHS - DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS
TOURIST SINGS: ♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO: "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes
♪ And she'll tease you, she'll unease you ♪
♪ All the betterjust to please you ♪
♪ She's precocious ♪
♪ And she knows just what it takes ♪
♪ To make a pro... dress ♪
MUSIC CONTINUES
HE MUTTERS
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
MUSIC CONTINUES
TRUCK HORN BLARES
MUSIC FADES - TRUCK HORN BLARES
TRUCK HORN BLARES
TRUCK DRIVER WHISTLES
ENGINE REVS
HE CONTINUES WHISTLING
APPROACHING ENGINE REVS
TRUCK HORN BLARES
LOUD CRASH
HE GRUNTS
TRUCK HORN BLARES
Oh, fuck.
TRUCK HORN BLARES
TYRES SCREECH
CAR ENGINE CHUGS
TOURIST LAUGHS
Yes!
Woohoo!
HE SIGHS
Woo!
HE PANTS
LOUD CRASH
METAL CREAKS
INSECTS CHIRP
MONITOR BEEPS
LOUD THUD
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
FAINT ANNOUNCEMENT
HE GROANS SOFTLY - INDISTINCT CHATTER
HE BREATHES QUICKLY
HE GROANS Fuck.
HE GROANS - WOMAN: You're awake.
You're in Cooper Springs Hospital.
You were in a car crash. You're OK.
Is there anyone we can call?
Cops couldn't find any ID or phone in the wreckage.
Parent, partner, friend?
Pet? SHE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
It's a lot to take in, I know.
Let's start with your name.
What's your name?
MONITOR BEEPING CONTINUES
Sir, can you tell me your name?
MACHINE CREAKS
MACHINE CLANKS
TECHNICIAN ON PA: The MRI takes about 15 minutes, and it's loud.
A lot of buzzing, a lot of clicking. Stay still as you can, OK?
Yeah.
You want some music on? I got my phone hooked up here.
No, I'm fine.
Wait. "If I Didn't Care."
Play that.
Uh, sorry, that an album or a song?
F... I... I don't know.
OK, top hit, it's a song.
Band called The Ink Spots. Is that the one?
I, uh...
HE CHUCKLES
I don't know.
Want me to play it?
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
Sure.
MUSIC: "If I Didn't Care" by The Ink Spots
- Uh... - CROONER VOCALISES
MACHINE CLANKS
♪ If I didn't care ♪
♪ More than words can say ♪
SHE SIGHS
Ooh!
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Hey.
- How you going? - Hi.
Uh, I'm... I'm a probationary constable
with the Cooper Springs Police Department.
Helen Chambers. Here to take a statement.
Tell the truth, it's my first proper investigation.
Although, it's not technically my investigation
cos most of my experience has been in traffic.
SHE CHORTLES
Uh, anyroad...
Can I get your name, date of birth and home address?
Yeah, um...
I have no idea.
- Huh? - I don't remember anything.
- About... about the accident? - About anything.
Oh, uh...
Wow. SHE CHUCKLES
Um, so you wouldn't be able to tell me how you came off the road there?
- No. - No.
Um, and I guess you wouldn't be able to tell me where you were going?
So... so, I suppose you, um...
you couldn't tell me if there are any friends or family...
- Nope. - Yeah, right. Ahem...
So, just to clarify, then
like... nothing?
HE GROANS
No, I keep telling myself to...
just try and remember.
You know, but it's, uh... it's like trying to make yourself lie.
You know, no matter...
No matter how much you think you'll be able to do it
you still just end up a bloody bag of bones and shit and...
- fuckin' intestines. - Oh.
Tell you what, though...
I mean, you must be scared.
I'm sorry.
Well, OK, so, um...
What do we know? Well, we... Sorry.
Pen. SHE CHUCKLES
SHE CLEARS THROAT
OK, so, what do we know? Um...
You know you were in a car accident, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah, so...
NURSE: Sorry to interrupt.
We finally tracked these down, they're the clothes you had on
- when we picked you up. - Thank you.
- Thanks. - Mm-hmm.
We don't know how your car came off the road
and local cops didn't find anything at the scene
but I've asked them to take another look
just in case.
Um, and aside from that
we know that your plates were registered to a Jessica Smith.
She remembers you buying it in cash a week or so ago.
It was in person, right off the street.
So, I mean...
she's no use.
What is it?
Do you know this place?
Uh, yeah, it's... it's a little town about 50k north of here.
Is it ringing any bells?
No.
You know, that's tomorrow.
Well, 25th today. So, whoever you're meeting, it's tomorrow.
SHE CHUCKLES Unless it's from last month or...
Or could be next month. Yeah.
Well, could be any month, come to think of it.
- Right. - Most likely not though
cos when I saw that just now, I thought, "That is a meeting
that is most definitely...
tomorrow.
Probably."
Y'know, I can send someone up there to check it out.
Go on.
You just, you know... You can say it.
SHE CHUCKLES What's that now?
Whatever it is you're thinking but too scared to say.
SHE CHUCKLES You can see how this looks, right?
A bloke driving through the middle of the outback
with no phone, no wallet, no memory
and all that remains is a piece of paper.
So you're saying I'm lying?
No. No, no, no. Uh...
I'm sorry.
I can't imagine how that feels. I...
I find it hard when I forget to take the bins out, so...
OK, um, can I take your photograph?
It... I can get it out there to the ABF and the AFP, and...
we'll figure it out. SHE CHUCKLES
- Yeah. - OK.
I'll just...
- get in... - Oh, wow.
- Let's just... - Whoa, that's... kinda right up there.
- Yeah. - That's close.
Yeah...
Look... I don't know if you're a glass-half-full kind of guy
or a glass-half-empty, but, um... but something's gonna come up.
We'll... find out who you are.
This page is gonna be full in no time.
WOMAN: Welcome to the delicious world of Ronnys.
- How can I help you? - HELEN: Oh, um...
- Can I get a chicken burger? - Just a chicken burger?
Um, yeah, that'll do.
WOMAN: We've got a promotion on. Add a dollar to try our Cheese Pockets.
- Your what? - Cheese Pockets.
Mixed cheese coated in breadcrumbs.
They're crispy, come with barbecue sauce.
Um... no, I'm fine.
Alright then, one chicken burger.
That'll be $4.50. Come through to the window.
Actually, yeah. Yeah, I'll try 'em. The pockets.
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
SHE HUMS
DISTANT SIREN WAILS
TOURIST INHALES DEEPLY
HE SIGHS
HE GROANS
NURSE: Hey, chief, what you doing?
I just need to get some fresh air.
Walking isn't a good idea with your ankle how it is.
What you need is rest.
What I need is to not be looking at that ceiling anymore.
NURSE: So, here we are.
BRAKE CLANKS
Everything you hoped for?
Well, I'm not missing the ceiling, if that's what you mean.
PHONE RINGS
Oh, crap, I've got to go. Will you be alright getting back yourself?
No problem.
- Congratulations. - WOMAN CHUCKLES
BABY COOS - INDISTINCT CHATTER
- MAN 1: Here we go. - MAN 2: Oh, no, here's trouble.
LIGHTER CLICKS - THEY CHUCKLE
- MAN 1: Congratulations. - MAN 2: Cheers.
THEY CHUCKLE - INDISTINCT CHATTER
LIFT CHIMES
MAN: What floor?
Uh... two.
I mean, uh, three... I think.
MAN: Which one is it?
Sorry, someone else brought me down.
Um...
It's three.
LIFT CLANKS
Yeah... three.
LIFT CHIMES
DOORS SQUEAK
BUTTON BEEPS - LIFT CLANKS
DISTANT THUD
LIFT CLANKS
DISTANT CHATTER
UNDER BREATH: Fuck...
- Hey. You alright there, mate? - HE PANTS
I don't know where I am.
- I don't know where the fuck I am. - MAN: OK, OK, mate. Calm down.
- Just take it easy. - HE PANTS
Alright? You'll be alright, come on.
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
You'll be alright?
Yeah, thanks.
HE GROANS
HE SIGHS
DOOR UNLOCKS
DOOR CLOSES - HELEN: Hey!
KNIFE CHOPS
Hello, lady. You hungry?
Uh... yeah, I could eat.
I got us avocado and roast beetroot.
The king and queen of the vegetable world.
- Sounds great. - No... it doesn't.
But it's good.
- It'll be good for us. - Yeah.
Um, hey, we got about 20 minutes till she's ready for consumption.
- We could, uh... - SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
Oh... SHE CHUCKLES
Now? I just walked in.
Our wedding's in nine weeks
and the first dance is not gonna first-dance itself.
MUSIC CONTINUES - Now...
come to Swayze.
Ooh, sorry... SHE CHUCKLES
- And... - SHE WHISPERS: One, two, three.
So, how was your day?
Did that training officer decide to finally show up?
No. I had to go to the hospital to take a statement solo.
This guy was in a car crash
and he woke up with, like, no memory of who he is.
He can't remember anything.
Seriously?
SHE SIGHS This bloke doesn't even know
if he's got any family out there looking for him.
And...
SHE CHUCKLES
- Hey. - Mm?
If we both woke up tomorrow with no memory of each other...
you reckon we'd still get together?
Well, of course I do.
Five years, though.
- Five years ago, I was pretty. - Aw...
And you will be again.
Now, come on, let's give it another go from the top.
See if we make it to the lift this time.
MUSIC CONTINUES
MAN GROANS
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
LIGHTER CLICKS - HE GASPS
HE PANTS
HE GRUNTS
HE GROANS
HE GROANS LOUDLY
METALLIC BANGS
IN GREEK:
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
METALLIC BANGS
Can anyone hear me?
Help me!
MUFFLED BANGS
MUFFLED: Help me!
TOURIST: What does it matter? I'm just telling you I have to go.
NURSE: If you leave now, you'll injure yourself again.
Yeah and if I do, I'll just go to the nearest hospital.
- The doctor said he wanted to keep you. - I know what he said.
- But I can't just sit here... - Hey.
Is... is everything OK?
He wants to sign out against medical advice. Can you please talk some sense into him?
HELEN SIGHS
She's right, you can't just leave.
Or what? You're gonna stop me?
You've just been in a car accident.
I... I have been... I have been lying here waiting, for what?
I have nothing. I have no name, no home, no clothes.
The ones they've given me probably belong to a dead guy.
You can't just go waltzing into the limbo of the red earth
with... with nothing but a piece of paper in your hand
and expect things to go well for you.
It's all... I have.
The note said 2:30 today.
Whoever I'm meeting can tell me who I am.
- Here. - No, no, no, you don't have to.
Oh, how else did you plan on getting to Burnt Ridge?
Are you gonna walk there?
Thank you, Helen. You...
really didn't have to do this.
Yeah, well, you won't take no, and...
it's no skin off to be decent, is it?
I put my calling card in there, so you can call me whenever.
Seeing as how I'm the only person you know in the whole wide world and all.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
BRAKES SQUEAK - DRIVER: Burnt Ridge.
BUS DOORS OPEN
DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE
THUNDER RUMBLES
DOOR BELL JINGLES - Come on in.
You open?
Oh, well, that's not good for business, is it?
Take your pick, sweetheart.
I'd like to sit at table number five, if that's OK?
Um, I'm meant to be meeting someone here and they said table five.
Sure.
Over by the window there, near the corner.
Love the accent. What brings you all the way out here?
If I told you, I don't think you'd believe me.
Mm-hmm, I've heard some things.
End up working in a place like this, you hear all sorts.
Go on. Try me.
POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
WOMAN: Bloke out there reckons he's lost his memory. Like, completely.
- For real? - He bashed his melon in a car crash.
Now he doesn't know who he is, where he's from.
Woke up with a note in his pocket saying to come here today.
I mean, he's either two sausages short of a breakfast
or he's having a laugh. SHE CHUCKLES
Either way, I would.
DOOR OPENS
- Afternoon! - WOMAN: Thanks, Barbara.
DOOR SQUEAKS AND SHUTS
HE SIGHS
WOMAN: Stop it.
You're gonna creep the poor bugger out.
Go and take him his drink.
WAITRESS: Hey. How you going? I'll be your waitress today.
Name's Luci, with an "I".
Hey.
So, I just heard the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time.
Yeah, OK. Your, uh...
- Your colleague told you then. - Oh, my God.
You're actually being serious, aren't you?
Wh... What about your name?
- You don't remember your name? - No.
- Whoa. - You know, this isn't a... a joke. Alright?
Sorry.
- I didn't mean to... - No, it, uh...
doesn't matter.
I've never met anyone with amnesia before. Is there anything that I can do or...?
Um... you could start by...
giving me the lemonade.
Oh, yeah, sorry. SHE LAUGHS
SHE GASPS Oh!
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
- No, it's OK, it was my fault. - Fuck. I'm sorry.
- No, here, let me, um... - I'm just gonna go clean up.
Yeah. Oh, no.
Sorry, our toilets, they're screwed at the moment.
We're, um... We're actually using the ones over the road.
- I can... I can show you. - No. It's fine.
No, it's alright.
SHE SIGHS I'm so sorry.
The, uh, old couple across the road are letting us use their toilets
whilst ours are down.
That's really going the extra mile community spirit-wise, isn't it?
Letting strangers defecate in your property.
Oh, well, you know, they get two free meals a day.
That's a fair trade.
Hey, um, I didn't mean to laugh at you back there.
I've just got this awkward thing I do when I'm nervous.
EXPLOSION - SHE GASPS
Fuck. Sandy.
Sandy!
I'm here!
HELEN: Hi. SHE CHUCKLES
I'm Helen.
- The one who really doesn't wanna do this bit. - FAINT CHUCKLING
I mean, it's hard, right?
Like, double hard these days
cos people are saying
"It's OK to be bigger. It's time to own it.
Love your lard." SHE CHUCKLES
But they don't mean it, do they?
No, that was a genuine question.
FAINT CHUCKLING
So, now I feel this pressure to, you know
be in love with the fat bits on my body
which I don't actually love.
And, uh, if I don't own it
and love the lard, then...
well, I'm not a real woman, am I? SHE CHUCKLES
It's like embarrassing to lose the weight, cos then I've given in.
SHE CHUCKLES
I can't win. SHE CHUCKLES
It's like I'm on a highway going 80 and that's the minimum speed limit
but there are just road bumps everywhere.
SHE CLEARS THROAT
Or maybe it's just a hell of a way
to talk myself into a big ol' plate of sausages?
THEY LAUGH - SHE CHUCKLES
THEY APPLAUD
- HELEN: Thank you. - Wasn't so hard, was it? Hey?
Alright, so it's been a few weeks
since we all shared our favourite low-cal recipe...
HELEN SIGHS
How was it?
I think, you know, first go. You'll get used to it.
LEADER: I'm especially keen to hear how you've all been going
with our vegetable of the month.
PHONE BUZZES - How have you been cooking
the beautiful beetroot?
- Sally, let's start with you. - SHE MOUTHS
If it's anything like your mint and cottage cheese stuffed zucchinis
I'm all ears.
Uh, sorry, um... Helen Chambers speaking.
Hey. This is Sergeant Lammon from the Burnt Ridge police force.
I was told that you're the detective I should call?
Oh, well, uh, I'm not actually a... Um...
Yeah, I'm sort of running with this one. Um, are you at the crash site?
Yeah. There's, um... There's not a whole lot here I'm afraid.
HELEN SIGHS So, no wallet or phone? Nothing at all?
No, just one thing, away from where the crash happened.
- We reckon it must've rolled outta the car. - Well, what is it?
Something that shoots but never kills.
What? Like a potato gun?
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
- WOMAN: Right, same again, John? - JOHN: Good on ya.
LUCI: What are you thinking about?
Either I have the worst luck in the world or someone's trying to kill me.
To be fair, I think having the worst luck in the world
would be someone trying to kill you.
That's a good point.
Well, I'm already wearing a dead man's clothes, so...
I've come prepared.
- BARWOMAN: Here you go, guys. - Cheers.
TOURIST: Thank you.
HE SIGHS
Why would somebody want me dead?
HE SIGHS
Oh, fuck me, that's lovely.
- I hope I didn't used to be an alcoholic. - LUCI CHUCKLES
ENGINE STOPS
Hey.
Sorry. HE SIGHS
- Is this it? - There's only two places to stay
in this town, and the other one's best avoided
for hygiene reasons.
HE SCOFFS
Plus, it's, uh, it's pretty low odds these two are trying to kill ya.
- Cheers. - No worries.
HE GROANS
Hi, um...
I'm looking for a... a place to stay.
Hi. Come in!
- Come in! - I was just saying to your man there
that I'm looking for a room.
I'm afraid I don't have much.
Oh, don't worry about Ralphy. He can't hear a thing.
Could do, mind, if he actually had half a brain cell
and put his hearing aid in!
I'm sorry, I don't mean to...
Don't you worry about a thing. He's just being a disappointment.
Um, smallest room's 30 dollars, if that suits?
Yeah.
Hey... why don't we just call it 20?
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Not like we're busy anyway.
I'll get you a key so you can come and go.
We want you to feel at home here, alright?
That's how we do things out here.
There you go, Ralph.
Ah, we could have a cuppa and watch Australian Survivor if you like?
They're in tribal council.
I reckon Pete's gonna get the heave-ho tonight
for being a big old shit
but they like to mix it up sometimes, don't they?
You alright?
I'm fine.
You don't look fine.
You look like you could use a hug.
Oh, no, don't worry, I'm...
Really don't need to...
SHE PATS
I've been around long enough to know when someone's going through the wringer.
You'll be OK.
You're safe here.
HE SNIFFS
Sorry...
HE SIGHS It's been a long day.
Jesus. So embarrassing.
HE SNIFFLES - WOMAN: You don't need to explain.
HE PANTS
HE GRUNTS
HE GROANS
STRAINED GRUNTS
HE COUGHS
CHOKING COUGHS
HE GROANS - PHONE RINGS
PHONE RINGS - LIGHTER CLICKS
HE GASPS
HE GROANS
STRAINED GRUNT
HE PANTS - PHONE RINGS
Ah... Fuck. Shit!
PHONE RINGS
- Oh, f...
HE GROANS
KNOCK ON DOOR
Sorry. Someone's on the phone for you.
- Here you are. - Mm. Cheers.
Oh, hey...
- Phone. - Ah.
Hello?
HELEN: Found you!
Not that it was hard. SHE CHUCKLES
Only two places to stay in Burnt Ridge.
It's me, by the way.
- Your, uh, only friend in the whole world. - Helen.
- You remembered my name. - Course.
I bet you can't remember mine though, huh?
Well... uh...
- Sorry, that... that was weird. - No, right, cos you...
You don't... have one.
Uh, hey, how was your meeting?
The note?
Uh, yeah, they... they didn't show up.
Ah, crackers. Sorry.
Not a pork sausage on this end, either, in terms of identifying you.
But I did have the locals re-check the crash site
and they did find something.
Something that, uh... SHE CHUCKLES
"Shoots but never kills" is what the fella said.
Like a potato gun?
That is so weird, because that's what...
Uh, never mind.
Uh, no, a camera. Disposable one.
And they think it's mine?
Gotta be, out the back of beyond like that.
Listen, we had the photos developed and scanned.
I can email them over if you'd like?
Uh, I don't have an email address.
Well, not that I can remember anyway. I mean, I can...
Here you go, love.
HE WHISPERS: Thank you.
Um, actually, y'know, hold on. I...
If you could send them to Sue@BLodge.com.au
that would be great.
KEYBOARD CLACKS
OK. Yeah, take a look, and, uh, see if it knocks something loose for you.
And no worries if not.
I will find out what your name is.
Um, anyway. Um, I'll email the pictures now.
You take care.
What are you doing at my desk?
Oh.
Well, I... I don't have a desk yet, so I just thought...
But I can leave.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
SUE: Right.
Oh, oh, sorry about that.
Ralph's a bit of a... magpie.
OK, there it is.
There you go.
HE SIGHS
SUE GASPS
The Nala Stone Men.
- Maybe that's why you're here? - 'Scuse me?
The Nala Stone Men.
They are beautiful.
- Better in person. - What is this? Is this close?
Ah, 10k from here, love.
- I need to go. - Be closed now.
TOURIST: I just need to get there.
I can take you in the morning, if you like?
Thanks.
Meantime, how about that cuppa?
We can watch the end of Survivor.
I'll bring you up to scratch, cos Nathan just...
Yeah, I'm really tired, but I...
You know what? Um...
Yeah, sure. Why don't we watch "The Survivor"?
PRESENTER ON TV: So, tonight, as you all know
you have to vote someone out.
AMERICAN MAN: Excuse me, Miss.
- You couldn't help me with something? - Sure.
I heard there was a man brought in at an accident out near Burnt Ridge.
NURSE: Um, the guy who didn't know his name?
Do you know which room he's in?
I called before and they said he was around here, but, um...
Oh, he discharged himself yesterday. He's gone.
But now you're here, maybe you can help tell us who he is. Guy's lost his memory.
Where'd he go?
If you'd like to leave your name and number, I could pass on your details.
He didn't say? Where he was going?
- Sir, if you just... - Never mind.
You've been a great help.
You know, my mother was a nurse.
It's fine work you people do.
It's fine work.
WINDOW SQUEAKS
MACHINE BUZZES
Hey. Swallowed my ticket.
Oh, it's playing silly buggers at the mo. I'll have to lift it up.
- Appreciate it. - No, it's no bother.
You know, my mother worked in a parking lot.
It's fine work you people do.
It's fine work.
BARRIER CLUNKS
HE WHISTLES
ENGINE RUMBLES
HE CONTINUES WHISTLING
HE GASPS
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
FORECASTER: Hot, dry and gusty conditions are likely to leave elevated fire dangers...
KNUCKLES CRACK - Ooph!
SHE LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY
Sorry. It's a habit.
I guess.
FORECASTER: ...remember, you can stay up to date
with the latest forecasts and warnings for your location on our website
on our social media pages
or by tuning in to our daily updates.
That's it from the weather desk.
- Back to you, Miranda. - FANFARE PLAYS
MIRANDA: Thanks, Jim. Here's the headlines again.
Major Crimes investigators have been sent to the small town of Burnt Ridge
after an explosion there turned out to have been caused by a bomb.
There were no casualties.
We'll bring you more on that story as it develops.
FANFARE PLAYS
A 57-year-old man from Georgetown, who has...
A bomb?
Jeez!
That's a turn up.
Yeah.
That's one way of looking at it.
SUE: That's it, there.
This bringing anything back?
Well, I kind of thought that maybe I would...
I don't know.
There'd be something that would help me remember.
SUE: What now?
TOURIST: Now?
Now, I have...
no idea.
WIND CHIME TINKLES
BAMBOO CHIME CLONKS
Hey, does that thing work?
Uh, pfft, sure.
And you still have the recordings?
VIDEO GAME BLEEPS
Mate... who are you?
Yeah, I need to see the footage. Anything you have from before three days ago.
VIDEO GAME BLEEPS - Why? We don't just give that to anyone.
Just show the man what he needs to see.
This fella here was in a major car crash
doesn't remember a bloody thing
doesn't even know who he is from Adam.
TOURIST: I know I was in here before the accident.
I'm hoping there's something on that camera that can help me to explain why.
Anyone I was with, anyone I was seen talking to.
You...? HE CHUCKLES
You've got, like, amnesia?
- Yeah. - Mate!
HE LAUGHS That is awesome!
Yeah, it's... really not.
It's all on a hard drive. Should still be on here.
TOURIST CLEARS THROAT - KEYBOARD CLACKS
Oh, yeah. When am I looking at?
Um, let's go back to the date of the crash.
- So, 24th. - ATTENDANT CHUCKLES
This is so exciting.
Right. OK.
Here we go.
TOURIST: There.
Uh...
What the hell am I...?
What happened to my shirt?
I look terrible.
Why am I buying a fluffy koala?
RALPH: I can tell you what you're saying.
- SUE: Ralphy will lip-read it for you! - Uh...
Right, yeah, OK.
Alright, you're asking where the nearest servo is.
She's giving directions...
to the Saddlepack Roadhouse.
Whoa.
Thanks.
Saddlepack's just down the road from here.
DOOR OPENS
Hey, here he is.
Mr Comedian.
You know me?
- No, I don't know you, mate. - No, but I mean... we've met?
Sorry, I... I have, uh, trouble with my memory.
You were in here a few days ago, you got some petrol
then you signed for the toilet key.
Why would you... Why would you have to sign for the toilet key?
- Are you serious? - I don't know, it's just...
It's not like people are trying to buy it.
Hold on you... you...
So, you're saying I signed for it? I signed my name?
Can I see that?
HE SIGHS
Like I said. Mr Comedian.
Comedian, right?
Hold on, so, um... so I signed my name.
A-And then what?
Tell me.
You went to the toilet.
UNDER BREATH: Jesus.
CALCULATOR CLACKS
Can I...?
You bring it back, yeah?
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Out the front, round the back.
FLIES BUZZ
METAL CLANKS
WIND WHISTLES
HE GRUNTS
BOTTLES CLATTER
PHONE CLICKS - VOLUME INCREASES
MUSIC: "If I Didn't Care" by The Ink Spots
CROONER VOCALISES
♪ If I didn't care ♪
♪ More than words can say ♪
♪ If I didn't care ♪
♪ Would I feel this way? ♪
PHONE RINGS
RINGING GROWS LOUDER
PHONE BEEPS
Hello?
HE GASPS AND GROANS
- Oh! - Hello?
Oh... man! Oh, man! Oh, man!
Thank fucking God! Thank fucking God!
HE SOBS AND SNIFFLES
You have to help me.
Please...
HE PANTS Help me.
Who is this?
MUSIC: "Out of Time Man" by Mick Harvey