- Synced and corrected by Kopic - - www.addic7ed.com -
[WATER BOILING]
Is everything okay?
I'm just here outside a launderette called Launderette, um,
- wondering where the hell you are. - What? Danny, you came to get me?
- Danny, I'm... I'm really sorry. - Listen, night, Leese.
- I... [STAMMERS] - [LINE BEEPING]
He-Hello?
[KETTLE CLICKS]
- Mum just texted to say Poppy's out cold. - Oh, yeah?
I'm not surprised. They took her Nordic walking today.
- Oh. Okay. [CHUCKLES] - [CHUCKLES]
[STAMMERS] Uh, how's the tea?
Man in the shop said it really worked for him. Is it helping you sleep?
Yeah. I mean, you know, every time I try and drink it,
- I think I'm gonna pass out, so... - [BOTH CHUCKLE]
Ooh, I'm about to do my night yoga with the woman you suggested.
- Oh, great. Yeah. Oh, yeah, uh, Rebecca. - Yeah.
Yeah, she's a really positive instructor. You know, great for your mindset.
- You love a good mindset. - Know what?
I didn't realize how bad my mindset was until I started doing her classes.
But now I feel like my mindset is just...
- [IMITATES EXPLOSION] - [LAUGHS]
I-I'm just... I'm... I'm glad you're getting into more of a routine.
You know, after the other night.
Yeah, me too.
Great. Well, it is my bedtime.
Well, I'll see you up there. As in, I will actually see you up there.
Amazing.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Oh, um, I forgot to mention. [STAMMERS]
Y-You know the hobbyhorse my dad made for Poppy?
Uh...
[SCREAMS, GASPS]
[SCREAMS] Jesus!
[SIGHS] Right. You are coming with me.
Uh... Yeah, I think so.
Do you know where it is? [STUTTERS] I've looked everywhere. I can't find it.
They wanna have a photo of her with it tomorrow.
A photo? Why?
For the family newsletter. The Cutting Vedge.
Dad wants to show it off to the Australian cousins.
He says it's the best example of his whittling.
Well, yeah, I think it's probably just in Poppy's wardrobe.
I did check there. But, you know, I'll have another look.
No! No need. I'll do it. You're tired.
- Only if you're sure. - Yeah.
Great. Well...
[BOTH] See you in a sec. [CHUCKLE]
[SIGHS] 'Course.
- [TEA POURS] - [MUG CLINKS]
[STRAINS]
[SIGHS]
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
[SNORING]
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Okay.
That's too much. [GROANS]
[STAMMERING] I wasn't watching you sleep, if that's what you're thinking.
- Right. - No, no. I can...
I can see why you're thinking that's what I was doing...
Right. Because you were watching me sleep.
But I was standing... Yeah, okay sure, I was watch...
But it was not in a creepy way or...
Is there a non-creepy way to watch a woman sleep?
Yeah. I've heard... Yeah, there's... I hear there's loads.
Oh. Oh, okay. This should be good.
Yeah. Okay. Sure.
One, um, Sleeping Beauty.
Man not only watches
but, um, kisses sleeping woman and brings her back to life.
A-And that was a prince.
Ah, okay. One, princes can still be creepy.
I think that's established.
And two, that story actually hasn't aged well.
It's-It's kind of problematic.
Um, there's more. Uh, two. A doctor monitoring a-a coma patient.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Uh, you see, in that scenario,
I'm imagining you became a doctor just so you could watch women sleep.
I promise, I wasn't watching you sleep.
Are you always this easy to wind up?
- Yes, famously I am. You got me. - [LAUGHS]
Oh, and a midnight feast of Jammie Dodgers.
That's definitely not creepy. [LAUGHS]
Truth is I was trying to figure out how to say something to you.
I thought now could be a good time to do it while you were asleep.
- I was just trying to... - Why? What did you wanna say?
- Thank you, really. - [STAMMERS]
For what? The sex?
No, no. I mean, not no. Yes. That was very nice. Good. Good, good.
But, um, no. No, for giving me another chance.
Oh, you mean after...
- [SCREAMS] Get it out! Get it out! - [DANNY] Oh, God!
My bloody finger. What are you doing?
Yeah, after that.
- It's fine. - It is fine?
Do you think I would be here if it wasn't?
[LAUGHS] It was an accident.
I have moved past it. So should you.
[STAMMERS] I will. Thank you.
[SIGHS]
Oh, hold on.
It's fine. There's just a bit of a knack to it. And... Oh.
- If I could... [MUMBLES] - No, don't try to help me.
I... [SIGHS] I need to learn to live like this.
[SIGHS]
[SLURPING, PANTING]
Oh, that is lovely tea.
- You're such a dick. - [LAUGHS]
[DOOR BUZZING]
[PHONE LINE RINGING]
[DANNY] Hi. This is Danny. Uh, yeah. I was gonna do, like, a fun,
jokey kinda message, but I couldn't really think of one. So, uh, yeah-yeah.
So, I just... I-I... Just leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
- [VOICE MAIL BEEPS] - Oh, hi. [CHUCKLES]
You still up? [CHUCKLES] I am, obviously. Um... [CLICKS TONGUE]
I was just thinking this is probably the longest we have gone
without speaking since...
I mean... Oh.
Since ever. [CHUCKLES]
So, uh... So, yeah. Give me a call.
Um...
look, I know the other night was... [SIGHS]... was a big deal.
You leaving the flat for me.
Thank you. You're so sweet.
Uh, would you just let me know you're okay?
I-I don't... I'm just a bit worried about you.
Okay. Thank you. [CHUCKLES] Bye, Danny.
[LISA CLICKS TONGUE]
[SIGHS, GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS] Oh, God, I don't need this tonight.
- [PERSON] Have you looked in the box? - [SPOUSE] I'm looking.
- Yes, but have you looked properly? - I'm going through every single box.
I mean, who puts passports in a storage unit?
Oh, just shut up and help me look, will you?
You really are a useless bastard.
Never get married.
[PERSON] You joking?
What do you mean all my stuff's gone?
Oh, look, Freddie... [CHUCKLES] ...you're being paranoid.
What-What were you trying to suggest? [CHUCKLES]
That I'm moving out of the flat in stages so you won't notice?
[SECURITY] Here, kitty, kitty. What have I got here, hey?
[SIGHS] Don't suppose you've seen a cat knocking about?
- Cat? No, sorry. - [GROANS]
Little blighter's been going from unit to unit destroying people's stuff.
I almost had it earlier, but it managed to wriggle away.
Aw, poor little thing must be trapped in here.
I bet it's terrified.
Yeah, yeah. Breaks your heart, doesn't it?
- Hmm. - Hmm, right, well. I'd better get on.
Here, kitty, kitty. Come out now, and that will be the end of it.
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
[STRAINING]
Ah.
[GRUNTING, SIGHS]
Oh! Bloody hell.
Would you stop doing that? Oh.
[GRUNTS, SIGHS] Okay.
[CAT MEOWS]
What? Are you back there?
[CAT MEOWS]
Oh, my God.
Hi, mate.
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
Hello.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, I wish I could take you home.
- Poppy would love a cat. - [PURRING]
[GROANS] Veggie's allergic. Sorry.
Hello, mate.
[WHISPERS] Okay. Stay safe out there, all right?
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES, GASPS]
[SQUEALS]
Discman.
Oh, wow.
Lisa Osgood is good.
- Jurassic Park. - 1993.
Jurassic Park 2.
It doesn't just have to be... [CHUCKLES]... Jurassic Park films.
Ooh! You do not know?
- 1997. - [WHOOSHES]
- Yes, yes. You are. - [SIGHS] He's good. Pretty.
You are good at knowing when movies came out.
- I know. Not bad. - Yeah.
But I-I'm gonna find one that you don't know.
- I'm bringing you down. - I love it. Fighting talk.
- Uh... - Go on, hit me with another one.
- The Land Before Time. Difficult. - Yeah. It's a film.
- Mm-hmm. Ooh. - Um, do you know?
- Yes, I could find out. - So do I know?
- You do know? - Aye, so do I know.
We'll say it at the same time and see if we both know it.
- Yes. [STAMMERS] 1988! - [STAMMERS] 1988!
That's it. We both win. Game over.
- Jammie Dodger! - Jammie Dodger in.
We should have another one 'cause they're going stale.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God. I totally forgot about this one.
Danny, sorry for the voice note, but I just found my old teenage diary.
Listen to this, right. "Sleepover at Jess's.
We watched The Ring, properly freaked out.
Jess gets up in the middle of the night.
I'm in the hallway sleepwalking."
[CHUCKLES] Always an insomniac.
"She thinks I'm the girl in The Ring, so she takes a plate off the wall
and chucks it at my head and wakes up the whole house."
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God, what's this?
"Ended up, um... Ended up having lunch on my own in the library again and..."
Oh. Yeah. That one's not so much fun.
[SIGHS]
[CLICKS TONGUE] Where are you?
[NARRATOR] Thanks to the natural buoyancy of Angus's fur,
drowning is out of the equation.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Sea otters have the thickest coats of any animal.
- Leese? - Hi, Adam. Sorry to bother you.
Um, I was just wondering...
Did you know sea otters have pockets under their arms?
What?
Like, they're not wearing a jacket. They're, like, built into their skin.
Oh, okay. Um... [CLICKS TONGUE]... c-cool.
Uh, look, Adam, have you heard from Danny? It's just I haven't spoken to him
for about a week, and I'm starting to get a little bit worried.
What do you think they keep in them?
I don't know. [CHUCKLES] Um, sorry.
Look, forget about the sea otters for just a second.
- Well, I wish I could. - [NARRATOR CONTINUES]
Can I ask you a tiny favor?
- Adam? - Yes? [CLEARS THROAT]
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
[SIGHS]
So just to confirm, you, um... You definitely want to do this again?
You're a weird little dude, aren't you?
It has been said.
Maybe we could try that Italian place I was talking about.
I mean, if it's not too far. I do know it's difficult for you.
- No, no. It's not difficult. - Hmm?
No, no. No, I mean, i-it is. But I'd like to try.
Yay.
Well, I'm glad I got you to the door safely.
My hero.
[ADAM GASPS]
Adam? What are you doing on the floor?
Danny. [CHUCKLES] You're okay.
We were... Um, we were worried about you. [CHUCKLES]
- Who was? - Oh, you know, just everyone.
- People. - [DANNY] People?
What's happening here? What's... What's this?
[SIGHS] Can't. [CHUCKLES]
Can't what?
I'm not allowed to tell you.
You're not allowed to tell us what?
- Nothing. - You're not allowed to tell us nothing?
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Yeah, I'm sorry, Leese. I can't do this.
[DANNY] Lisa?
Of course.
Hi, Danny.
God, this is weird, isn't it? [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, you're telling me.
Hi, I'm Amy. You must be Lisa.
Oh, hi. Hi...
Wait, Amy, as in...
As in...
Oh. Um, I'm sorry... sorry to interrupt.
What's going on? What is this?
Sorry. Are you asking... [CHUCKLING]... me that?
[STAMMERS] Look, I should go.
- [DANNY] Oh, no... That came quick. - [AMY] My cab will be here in a minute.
Yes. Fast.
Um, listen, tell her this isn't what... this isn't a thing that we do.
- This doesn't usually happen. - It really doesn't.
- It's fine. - [DANNY STAMMERS]
Rebecca De Mornay is dead.
Were you a big fan?
She was my oldest cat. You were disrupting her memorial service.
[CATS MEOWING]
[CAT MAN] We were 47 seconds into the minute silence.
So if we could still be quiet for the next 13 seconds,
we can move on to the eulogy.
[STOPWATCH BEEPS]
- [CAT MAN BREATHES DEEPLY] - [AMY] Mmm.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES] - [BEEPS]
- That's my cab. - Guess you gotta go.
- I've gotta go. Speak to you tomorrow. - Yeah we'll have a little chat possibly.
[STAMMERING] Danny, Danny, wait. I... I can explain. I'm really...
[SIGHS] No. [GROANS]
Okay. If everyone's quite finished, resume.
- [BEEPS] - [BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SOBS]
[SIGHS]
Right.
[SIGHS]
[CAT MEOWS]
- Oh. [SIGHS] Hi, there. - [PURRING]
Oh. I'm sorry, I can't take you with me.
Hmm?
Actually...
I think I know someone that might be able to take care of you.
Yeah.
Uh...
Perfect.
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
Damn it.
[SIGHS] Right, you.
[STAMMERS]
- Hiya. - All right?
[CAT MEOWS]
[SHUSHES] Did you hear that?
Uh, no.
[CAT MEOWS]
[SIGHS] What now?
The lights.
[SIGHS]
[NARRATOR] As an adult, Angus will need to eat
- up to 40% of his body weight every day - [KNOCKING]
[DANNY] Forgot something?
- [VEGGIE] All right? - Veggie.
Sorry for just turning up. I... I was out for a run and somehow ended up here.
- You ran here? - Actually, I'm running to the moon.
- I think you've taken a wrong turn. - No. Sorry, no.
[STAMMERS] Um, I mean, it's... it's about 384,000 miles
from here to the moon. Yeah.
My aim is to run that many miles by the time I'm 60.
Oh, good. Well, well done.
- Oh, uh, this is for you. - Oh.
Like my parents always said, never turn up at someone's house empty-handed.
Oh, nice. Thanks.
- Um, would you like a-a glass? - Is Lisa here?
What?
Lisa. She's, uh... She's not home.
[CLICKS TONGUE] No, she's not. Sorry. Sorry, no.
Right.
Why? Have you lost her?
Maybe. [CHUCKLES]
Sorry. I just... [STAMMERING] I-I somehow thought she might have ended up here.
- This is the living room. - Is that lipstick?
Have I told you about my girlfriend, Amy?
In a very serious relationship.
Uh, both committed, very good.
- Great. Good. Good for you. - Yeah, nice. She's really nice.
Would you mind if I use your bathroom?
No.
Great. It's through here, is it?
Uh, actually, no, it's not. It's to the right. Just ar...
Everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh. The... The wine is French by the way.
Um, the label says it goes well with chicken and fish.
Uh, I'm not really much of an expert.
But, you know, if you're having any chicken or-or fish dishes,
then it should go really well with it. [CHUCKLES]
[DANNY] Right.
Oh, Lisa, she actually got me a Wowcher to go wine tasting once.
Um, but, unfortunately, I couldn't go because I had, uh...
- gastric flu. [CHUCKLES] - Oh.
Oh. That's... Good job I checked this actually.
You've got a bit of water leaking through the tiles here.
Have you had these done recently?
- Mm-hmm. - If you've got any grout,
I could fix it for you.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[CAT MEOWS]
You okay?
- [MEOWS] - Yeah.
Mmm. It's fresh.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's French.
- Oh, yeah. You said. - Yeah, I think they do the... the freshest.
You know I, uh... [STAMMERS] can't remember the last time I was up at this time.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah. I can't remember the last time I wasn't, to be honest.
[CHUCKLES]
It's, like, wh-when I'm sleeping,
there's this whole world of Lisa's that I know nothing about.
Which is fine. 'Cause you know, it... it was good when we were awake.
- Was good? - What?
What? Sorry. You... You were saying?
No. No, nothing, really.
You sure? Sounded like something.
No. It's, um, fine. I was just, um... [EXCLAIMS] Um...
Would you mind if I did some press-ups?
- What, now? - Yeah.
[GROANS]
Oh, that's better. Now I can think.
Oh, you should join me.
I would, but I've got ridiculously weak wrists.
Oh. It's just, um, lately I've been having all these thoughts.
[BLOWS] Yeah, those. Don't get me started on thoughts.
The bane of my life those. Along with my weak wrists.
It just, um... feels like Lisa's pulling away from me a bit.
I don't understand. I... I thought you were gonna...
Gonna what?
Well, propose.
Right.
[PANTING]
[LISA HUMS]
[CAT MEOWS]
[LISA] Right. Nearly there, I think.
It's, like, I'll walk into a room she's in,
and then she makes up some excuse and just leaves almost immediately.
Right.
She's been trying to get her sleeping back on track since she went on this hen night.
[STAMMERS] She took some drugs, and then she got lost.
And I think it jolted her a little.
And I might have told her that, you know, she needs to grow up bit
for Poppy's sake.
So, now, you know, she... she keeps making all these changes,
but... [SIGHS] ...well, the... the truth is... is...
[SIGH]
Go on. You know, if it... if it helps to get it off your chest.
I don't think her heart's in it anymore.
Sorry, mate, I shouldn't have come.
No, don't go. You're so close to 500.
Oh, um, p-please don't tell Lisa I was here.
- Okay. - Thanks.
Veggie, wait.
[SIGHS]
I don't suppose you've heard "I'll Be Your Mirror" by The Velvet Underground?
- [STAMMERS] No. - Okay.
Well, it's from their first album released in 1967.
The album's actually called The Velvet Underground & Nico.
Very fun fact: Andy Warhol designed the cover.
Sorry, mate. You've lost me. What you talking about?
Perfectly understandable. Sorry.
It's a love song, okay?
Probably the greatest love song ever written actually.
And there's a lyric in there which is, "I'll be your mirror,
reflect what you are in case you don't know."
- You know? - Um...
What I'm saying is we're all trying our best. You know?
Most of our life, we walk around feeling like we don't fit in.
So, we're just letting people down just by being who we are.
But all it takes is that one person.
Do you know? To see you. To really see you...
and decide that they wanna be with you no matter what.
Alternatively, you could just forget what I've just said
and, you know, play to your strengths.
Right. And what would they be? You know, if... if you had to say.
- [STAMMERING] What would they... Right now? - Yeah.
Well, you look good in shorts.
Oh. Well, thank you.
Um, I j... I just feel more myself in them really.
And, boy, can you tell. Honestly, it's... Yeah, yeah.
- You look like you were born in them. - A-Anything else?
- Sure. Um, you're great with Poppy. - Yeah.
You've got a steady job, haven't you? Which is great in this economy.
- You own your own home. - Good sense of humor?
You own your own home.
And you're Veggie. Most importantly.
You know, there's only one of those, and he's standing right here.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
Thanks, Danny, for... for everything.
That's okay. Of course.
Oh, okay. Hug. That's okay.
Oh. Um, "I'll... I'll Be Your Mirror"?
Uh-huh. That's the one.
Cheers.
[SIGHS]
Now, you're probably going to think your new owner is a total weirdo, okay?
I just want you to know that that is normal, okay?
You'll get used to him,
and I don't think there's anyone else who can take care of you as well as he can.
So you just have to trust me.
But if you really, really need a break, you can go across the hall to Danny.
Because honestly, Danny is just the most ama...
- Lisa. - Veg.
- Synced and corrected by Kopic - - www.addic7ed.com -