[School Bell Rings ]
My weave!
[ Gasps ]
- What the hell, Karofsky? - Oh, I've wanted to do that ever since fifth grade...
when you made fun of me for getting pubes.
Now that you've joined Lullaby Lee's and insperminated the queen ofthe Chastity Ball...
and dropped below us hockey dudes on the food chain?
- It's open season. - Screwyou, Karofsky!
You and your Neanderthal puck-heads are nothing!
- You're gonna pay for this, dude! - No, I'm not.
You two don't have the juice anymore. Welcome to the new world order.
[ Chuckles ]
[School Bell Rings ]
Mm-hmm.
- Hey, guys. - We need to talk.
Okay.
As you know, even though she refuses to wear the ring and won't tell anyone-
including her mother- about the engagement, Emma and I are, in fact, getting married.
Yes. Ken convinced me we need to at least be in the same room when the marriage is certified.
What can Isay? I'm a traditionalist,
We're going to Hawaii and getting married on the beach.
And you want me to come?
No, no, no, no. I picked Hawaii, because it's far away from everybodywe know.
- Oh. - Uh, the thing is...
is that after a very brief, private ceremony...
Ken has decided he would like to have a first dance.
The problem is, we can't decide on the song.
Yes. I would like to have "I Could've Danced All Night."
Oh, from MyFairLady,
Great choice. Such a romantic song.
Yes. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, ifyou're making a mixed tape for the boring parade.
I want the "Thong Song."
I need something I can shake my moneymaker to.
Um-
Uh, I was remembering, um, thatyou did those, uh...
- mash-up things with the Glee kids, right? - Uh-huh.
So I thought maybeyou could find a way to use both of our songs.
Um, and I-well, we...
both need-want- need dance lessons.
Yeah, I-I- I mean, I might needa bit ofpolishing,,,
but it's the Emster here you really have to workwith.
Hada monster case ofathlete's foot a coupleyears back,
Had to get all my toenails removed.
So if she steps on my feet during the dance, I might pass out.
We would, uh, be very happy to payyou foryour time, Will.
No. No, I want to giveyou these lessons as a wedding gift.
Sound good?
- Hmm! - Great.
- [School Bell Rings ] - This is a disaster.
Our reputation as McKinley High's "it" couple is in serious jeopardy...
ifwe don't find some way to be cool again, Finn.
- The Slushee war has commenced. - And if Finn and Quinn got nailed, none of us are safe.
Okay, guys. We're a little behind for sectionals...
thanks to our Sue Sylvester detour.
Butyou guys seem to really enjoy doing mash-ups, right?
And I'm gonna keepyou guys fired up.
Plus, there's an important lesson to be learned with mash-ups.
Sometimes things are so different, they don't feel like they go together.
But the big difference between them is what makes them great,
Like... chocolate and bacon.
Or Glee Club and football.
Exactly. But you've proven that it is a great combination.
So,,,
here is- [ Chuckles ] my personal favorite song.
And your homework for the week is to find an unexpected mash-up to go with it.
- "Bust a Move"? - Yeah, this song is old school.
- All right. Um, Artie. - Yeah?
Try to follow along on the bass. Finn, take us through it.
Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Schuester. I got corn syrup in my eye.
Okay. Uh, Puck. How about it?
I don't really groove on Young MC.
I am shocked at the lack ofleading-man ambition in this room right now.
It's okay, Rachel. I guess I'm gonna have to show these guys how it's done.
[ Chattering ]
- Bust it! - ?? [ Funk]
♪This here's a tale for all the fellas ♪
♪Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us ♪
♪ Get shot down 'cause you're overxealous ♪
♪ Play hard to get Females get jealous ♪
♪ Okay, smarty, go to a party Girls are scantily clad and showin' body♪
♪ A chickwalks by and you wish you could sex her ♪
♪ Butyou're standin' on the wall likeyou was Poindexter ♪
♪ Movie's showin' Soyou're goin' ♪
♪ Couldcare less about the fiveyou're blowin'♪
♪Theater gets dark just to start the show ♪
♪ Thenyou spot a fine woman sittin' inyour row ♪
♪ She's dressed in yellow She says hello ♪
♪ Come sit next to me you fine fellow ♪
♪ You run overthere without a second to lose ♪
♪ And what comes next Hey, bust a move ♪
♪ Hey, you want it ♪
♪ You got it♪
♪ Hey,you want it Baby,you got it♪
- ?J ust bust a move ? - ? Mmm, you want it ?
♪ You got it, uh ♪
♪ Hey, you want it Baby, you got it ♪
♪Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry ♪
♪ In five days from now he's gonna marry ♪
♪ He's hopin' you can make it there ifyou can ♪
♪ 'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man ♪
♪You say "neato" Checkyour libido ♪
♪ And roll to the church in your new tuxedo ♪
♪The bride walks down just to start the wedding ♪
♪ And there's one more girl you won't be getting ♪
♪ Soyoustart thinkin' thenyoustart blinkin'♪
♪ A bridemaid looks and thinks that you're winkin' ♪
♪ She thinks you're kinda cute so she winks back ♪
♪ And now you're feelin' really fine 'cause the girl is stacked ♪
♪ Reception's jumpin' Bass is pumpin' ♪
♪ Look at the girl and your heart starts thumpin' ♪
♪ Says she wants to dance to a different groove ♪
♪ Nowyou know what to do, "G" Bust a move ♪
♪ Hey,you want it♪
♪You got it, uh ♪
♪ Ah, you want it Baby, you got it ♪
- ?Just bust a move ? - ? Mmm, you want it ?
♪You got it, uh ♪
♪ Hey, you want it Baby, you got it ♪
- ? Move it, boy? - ?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪ Uh-huh Yeah ♪
?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪ Uh-huh Hey, yeah ♪
- ?Just bust a move ? - ?Yeah ??
[School Bell Rings ]
So, how can I, uh- how can I helpyou kids?
Is it, uh, too many friends on MySpace, or-
I can't believe we're saying this,,,
but we need some advice on how to be cool.
Yeah, you must have picked up some ideas...
about what cool people do from watching them over the years.
Not that you were never cool yourself.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah- Eh- Well-
Um- But, um, you're two of...
the most popular kids in school.
We were- until we joined Glee Club.
That's whyhe got a Slushee facial, I'm sure ofit,
Okay. I see. Um, don't really have any...
pamphlets on how to be popular.
Uh, okay, right. Well, let's talk about this.
Why is it so important foryou to be cool?
Huh? Don'tyou like being in Glee? It's fun.
Status is like currency. When your bank account is full...
you can get awaywith doing just about anything.
But right now, we're like toxic assets.
When my mom applied to college...
sheput beingpopularas her main extracurricularactivity,
- Andshe got into Arizona State, - [ Mouthing Words ]
Sunglasses are so sexy.
[ Gasps ]
Sunglasses.
Yeah, sunglasses are, um, really, really cool.
I'm always seeing celebrities wear them...
in magaxines, even at night.
Doesn't need to be day. Very popular.
Gives you a sense of mystery. You know- rappers.
- [ Clears Throat ] - Totally.
- You can't see their eyes, so they have all the power. - Mmm!
I could be looking at your boobs, and you'd have no idea.
[ Scoffs ]
It- Em- No. Um, no. Kids, look.
The most important thing is thatyou beyourselves. Okay?
And if people don't likeyou for that, then I'm sorry, but who needs 'em.
- [ Exhales ] - [School Bell Rings ]
Hi.
[ Chuckles ]
Hmm.
[ Laughs ] This is my Cousin Betty's.
We were obsessed with Princess Di's dress when we were little girls...
so, um, when she got married she insisted on having...
this, uh-
this long train.
Is there a reason you... have it on now?
- Yes, yes. [ Chuckles ] - Okay.
- [ Laughs ] - Yeah.
Um, she didn't wear it to her dance rehearsals...
and the night ofthe wedding her husband kept stepping on the train.
- It was really bad. Theirfightwas epic. - Ooh.
The priest cried. Theywere divorced three months later.
[ Clears Throat ]
Actually, maybe I shouldn't wear it.
No, no, no, no, no! It's all good. It's all good.
We'll, uh-We'll see howyou move in it.
- Right? - Okay.
Okay. Um, so first, uh, let's do Ken's selection...
and then, uh, we'll work in your song for the big finish.
- Okay. - All right?
Hey, Emma...
I'm really excited about this.
Fantastic. It's... so, so exciting.
- [ Clicks On ] - ?? [ String Quartet ]
This thing right here...
is lettin' all the ladies know...
what guys talk about.
You know- the finer things in life.
[ Chuckles ] Check it out.
♪ Ooh, that dress so scandalous And you know another guy couldn't handle it ♪
♪ She's shakin' that thing like who's the ish ♪
♪With a look in your eye So devilish, uh ♪
♪ She like to dance at the hip-hop spots ♪
♪ And she cruise to the crews like connect the dots ♪
♪ Not just urban, she like the pop 'cause she was "Livin' La Vida Loca" ♪
♪ She had dumps like a truck Truck, truck ♪
♪Thighs like what What, what ♪
♪ Baby, moveyour butt Butt, butt, uh ♪
♪ I think I'll sing it again ♪
♪She had dumps like a truck Truck, truck♪
♪Thighs likewhat What, what ♪
♪ All night long ♪
♪ Let me see that thong ♪
- ??[Man Vocalizing In Background] - ? Baby ?
♪That th-th-th-th-thong ♪
♪ I like it when the beat go ♪
♪ Baby, make your booty go ♪♪
[ Both Gasp ]
- [ Chuckles ] Good God! - Are you okay?
- I'm okay. Are you? - Oh, yes!
Oh, ho! Oh.
Ahh.
- It's the darn "Thong Song." - [ Laughs ]
- I don't think it's the song. - [ Laughs ]
I thinkyou need a new dress.
[Laughs ] Come on, I'llpickyou up,
- Right. - Upsy-daisy,
- Oh, I'm stuck. - [ Grunts ]
All right. Let's try, uh, reverse chair on two.
Let's not.
Hey, Aximio, I'm the quarterback. I call the plays.
Some ofthe guys was talkin', and we're starting to question your leadership ability.
Yeah, like maybeyou're having trouble making good choices-
as in, for instance, choosing to join homo explosion.
Do I need to remind you that Glee Club helped us win our first game of the season?
What haveyou done for me lately?
Yeah, we're taking a bunch ofheat, becauseyou like kissing dudes all ofa sudden.
You're not being a team player, man.
Can't believeyou was man enough to knock up Quinn Fabray.
Yousure a realman didn'tsneak in there anddo it foryou?
That's it!
[ All ] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
- [ Whistle Blowing ] - Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
- Okay, break it up! Get up! - Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
- Man, get off me! - Hey, calm down, everybody!
On the sidelines and take a knee!
Now!
What ifyou had broken Finn's arm, huh?
We'd be worse off and more pathetic than we already are.
Where's Puckerman?
Uh, he said he had to miss practice today. He's working on something for Glee Club.
Is he workin'on his coming-out-of-the-closet speech orsomethin'?
- Hey, man! Don't push me, man! - [Ken ] Okay, enough!
Football is war.
And no one single man can win that war, not even if they strap nukes on him.
I want you to start acting like a team again!
When we won that one game, it wasn't because we were dancing.
It's because we were ofsingularpurpose,
I want you to start hanging more, spend more time together.
Which is why, starting next week...
I'm adding extra practice on Thursdays at 3:30.
- But, Coach, that's when Glee rehearses. - You know what?
I have had it up to here with Schuester and Glee.
Here's the story, Quarterback. And you tell Puckerman this when you see him.
That practice is mandatory. No exceptions.
Soyou're going to have to choose what's more important toyou- football or Glee Club,
- ? What a girl wants, what a girl needs ? - ?? [Acoustic Guitar]
♪ Whatever makes me happy Sets you free ♪
♪ And I 'm thanking you for knowing exactly ♪
♪ What a girl wants What a girl needs ♪
♪Whatever keeps me in your arms ♪
- ? And I'm thanking you ? - [Puck Narrating] I know this looks weird,
- ? Forgiving it to me ?? - But wait untilyou see what happens next,
- My ears are starting to hurt. Can we take a break? - Okay.
- You wanna make out? - Sure.
I know, It's whack, But I also remember what my history. teacher told us last semester:
Only Nixon can go to China,
I have no idea what she meant, but it reminded me ofwhen my family ordered Chinese food,,,
and sat down together for our traditional,,,
Simchas Torah screening of Schi ndler's List.
That's really when all ofthis started,
It wasn't the most normal tradition,,,
but we did it for my mom,
- She said it made her feel connected to herJewish roots, - [ TV: Gunshot ]
[ Screams ]
As she was giving me my sweet-and-sour pork,,,
she said something that really hit home,
[ Sniffl i ng ] You're no better than them, Noah.
Why can't you date a Jewish girl?
[Puck Narrating] That night, I had the strangest dream,
I knew it was a dream, because there's no way Rachel could've climbed up the wall,,,
outside my window with no shoes on,
When I woke up, I knew it was more than a dream, It was a message from God,
Rachel was a hotJew, and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants,
[ School Bell Rings ]
[ Gasps ]
I picked it up for you when I was buyi ng di p. I t's grape.
I know that's your favorite, because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face...
you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off.
Hey, I was wondering ifyou wanted to work together on some mash-up ideas.
[Puck Narrating] Things happenedprettyfast from that point,
Getting her to make out with me was easier than I thought, Guess she's kind ofdesperate,
- You okay, baby? - I can't do this.
Why? We're a couple of good-lookin' Jews. It's natural.
I-I can't give myself to someone who isn't...
brave enough to sing a solo.
Ifyou don't have the guts to do that, then how areyou gonna be bold enough to deal...
with the ups and downs ofloving an admittedly high-maintenance girl like me?
Areyou questioning my badassness?
- Haveyou seen my guns? - Noah, I'm sorry, but-
Your arms are lovely, but...
I just don't see us working out.
- [Laughing, Chattering] - So,,,
any ideas for the mash-up?
- Anybody? - [ Girl] No,
Oh, come on, guys!
- It's like you're daring me to start dancing. - [ Rachel ] Oh, no!
- I've been working on something. - Oh,yeah?
It's my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon.
Uh, fantastic, Let's hearit,
♪Where it began ♪
♪ I can't begin to know when ♪
♪ But then I know it's growin' strong ♪
♪Was in the spring ♪
♪ Andspring became summer ♪
♪ Who'd have believed you'd come along♪
♪ Hands ♪
♪ Touching hands ♪
♪ Reachin' out ♪
♪ Touching me ♪
♪ Touching you ♪
- ?Whoa, sweet Caroline ? - ?? [ Group Vocalixing ]
♪ Good times never seemed so good ♪
♪ I've been inclined♪
?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪To believe they neverwould ♪
♪ Oh, sweet Caroline ♪
[ Singing Along ] ? Good times never seemed so good ?
♪ Oh, I've been inclined ♪
♪To believe it neverwould ♪
♪ Oh, no, no ♪♪
- [ Boy] Puckerman! - [Girl] Yeah!
[School Bell Rings ]
Huh! You know, I really think this is working. I thinkwe look supercool.
I'm proud ofyou, Finn. I'm proud of us.
Yeah. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be popular.
Itjust means you want people to likeyou. I think that's healthy.
- I totally agree. - Being popularjust means you can have it all.
- Oh, hey, guys. - You thirsty?
Sure. Thanks.
- [ Gasps ] You can't do this! - Oh, you think that's bad?
Just imagine what's gonna happen ifyou don't show up to practice on Thursday...
and quit that little Glee Club for good!
Bros before hi-hos, dude. Don't forget that.
[Shoes Squeaking On Floor]
[Thudding]
- [ Gasps ] - [Whistle Blows ]
I hear people say, "That's not how I define marriage."
Well, to them I say, "Love knows no bounds."
Why can't people marry dogs?
I'm certainly not advocating intimacywith your pets.
I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage.
Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.
So "woof" on Prop 1 5, Ohio.
And that's how Sue sees it.
- Oh, Rod. - Boffo, Sue.
And we'll be right back after this.
[Bell Rings ]
- [ Sprays ] - You still smell like scotch, Rod.
You know, Sue, there's a lot of pressure being a local celebrity.
Most women find me intimidating. The teeth, the hair-
It's a lot to take in, and I know it.
I need a gal with a little backbone.
And I thinkyou just might be that gal.
Don'tyou have a wife, Rod?
She drowned.
So now I've got the condo all to myself.
Maybe we could go out sometime, have a little fondue.
Sure. Okay.
Bread, cheese- Oh, fantastic.
I'll call you.
?? [Big Band Drums ]
?? ["Sing, Sing, Sing"]
[ Both Laughing ]
Sue-Whoo! That was amaxing.
Oh! You know, I have to admit-
[ Panting ] At first when you suggested that I teach you a few steps...
I was hesitant.
You know, 'cause how horrible you were to me and the Glee kids...
when Figgins madeyou codirector.
Well, live and let learn, my friend.
That is ultimatelywhat I got to.
[ Panting ] It's nice not being at each other's throats.
You know, you're right. I-
Oh, gosh. I don't know how else to say this, but I'm in love.
- Really? - After one date, Sue Sylvester is in love.
E-9.
You sunk my battleship, Rod, and you sunk it hard.
[ Imitating Explosion ]
You know, Sue, I like to swing.
I could be good with that.
Rod has invited me to the Second Annual Allen County Sickle-cell Anemia Dance-a-thon.
- Ooh, - And with your tutelage, Will...
we can take home that blue ribbon like two prixe heifers in love.
[ Laughs ] I was wondering whyyou asked for dance lessons.
Oh, well, Erma just raved aboutyou.
Sue, I'm- I'm actually touched.
I mean, you seem so happy and... nice.
And you've been so cool with Quinn Fabray and her, you know, situation.
Mmm, yeah, well, she's just a confused kid...
and the least I can offer her is my compassion.
[ Chuckles ] But, you, mister-
- Aw- - The Sue Sylvesterwho has been obsessed...
with sabotaging your every move is now just a distant memory.
- That's great, Sue. - Now all I feel foryou is sympathy.
Whether it be foryour sham of a marriage...
or the fact that Coach Tanaka's finally laying down the law with regard to Glee Club.
Wait. What?
Yeah. Tanaka-san's making the kids choose.
Come on. Let's be honest. What kid's gonna choose Glee Club over football?
It'd be ridiculous.
Hey, Ken, you wanna tell me what the hell's goin' on?
You know I had a standing Glee rehearsal on Thursday.
We sat down and worked out a schedule when some ofyour guys joined the club.
Circumstances have changed.
I have a serious morale issue with my team. It's my responsibility to fix it.
Sorry if me doing myjob interferes with your club.
Ken, we've known each other foryears.
Your commitment to football is about as long as your pants.
You know, let's get into what this is really about.
You're upset that I don't like your song foryourwedding mash-up.
And you're right. It's not my place to have an opinion.
Why don'tyou just cut the crap, Will?
You're not that naive. This is not about a song. It's about my fiancee.
You and I, the whole world, knows that I'm just a consolation prixe toyou.
How doyou think that makes me feel?
Emma's totally intoyou.
Emma is settling for me.
And I love her so much, I don't care.
But it doesn't mean I appreciate you comin' in with your Gene Kelly charm...
and gettin' high off ofher fawning overyou.
I-I have never intentionally encouraged Emma.
[ Sighs ] But I haven't discouraged her either.
[ Sighs ] You don't have to worry about it anymore though.
So, are we cool?
And I'll have my guys on Thursday again? 3:30?
Soyou keepyour rehearsal. I'll keep my practice.
We'll let the kids decide who's first choice...
and who's a consolation prixe.
[DoorOpens ]
[DoorCloses ]
[School Bell Rings ]
...making TommyTune the first to win Tony gold in four categories.
[ Exhales ] Totally interesting.
You know, you never told me whatyou thought of my mash-up solo.
You're still missing the elusive high "B." That's a brass ring for a baritenor.
I had to work on it forweeks with Finn before he got it.
You're a great performer, Noah.
I just wanna say how proud I am to haveyou on my arm in front ofthe whole high school.
- [ Chuckles ] - [School Bell Rings ]
You're pretty good at this.
[ Sighs ] I've had a lot of practice.
You're actually a lot luckier than me and Quinn. Your head is shaved.
[ Sighs ] I'm really sorry I ever did this toyou.
It's okay.
No, it isn't. No one deserves this feeling.
You knowwhat theworst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes...
or the way the Slushee drips all the way intoyour underpants.
It's the humiliation.
I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment.
Rachel...
I'm sorry, but today when the clock chimes 3:30-
You're choosing football over Glee, which means we probably can't be together anymore.
Yes. Damn, I feel like such a bad Jew.
[ Sighs ]
Areyou readyyet? We've only got an hour for lunch, Emma.
It's not like try.ing on a pair ofjeans, Will,
Well, it doesn't have to be perfect, Wejust have to see ifyou can dance in it,
[ Sighs ]
Fits okay?
Yeah. Fits great.
- [ Chuckles ] - T errific.
Yeah, terrific.
Uh, so, should we see ifyou can dance in it?
Okay.
This is the instrumental version ofyourwedding song.
You can sing along ifyou want to. It'll helpyourfootwork.
??[Upbeat]
♪ I could have danced all night ♪
♪ I couldhave dancedallnight♪
♪ And still have begged for more ♪
♪ I could have spread mywings ♪
♪ And done a thousand things ♪
♪ I've never done before♪
♪ I'll never know what made it so exciting ♪
♪Why all at once my heart took flight ♪
♪ I only know when he ♪
♪ Began to dance with me ♪
♪ I could have danced danced, danced ♪
♪ All night ♪♪
[ Breathing Heavily]
Yeah, you can dance in it.
So, I gotta get goin'. Um- [ Chuckles ]
Got the big showdown today at 3:30. and, uh...
I wanna make sure I'm there to support the kids, no matterwhat happens.
Wait, what showdown? I thought- I thought you and Sue had that last week.
Eh- Between me and your fiance.
Uh, Ken's told all the football players in Glee...
that they have to choose between the club and the team.
And unless all the guys choose Glee...
it looks like we won't have enough members for sectionals.
- Then Glee is over. - I know.
[ Sighs ] Well, wish me luck.
??[Piano]
[ Sighs ] Hey, guys.
I guess they're not coming. I'm really sorry, guys.
I can't believe this. I thought theywere our friends.
How can theyjust abandon us?
[Footsteps Approaching]
[ Chuckles ]
Hi. I'm glad you made it.
Youscaredme,
Good to seeyou, huh?
[ Collective Gasp ]
Are you... sure about this, Noah?
I mean, choosing us over the team means you might get a Slushee in your face every day.
Bring it.
[ Club Chuckles ]
[Artie ] Where's Finn?
- [Whistle Blows ] - ?? [Marching Band]
- Hey, fella. - Hey, man.
- You made the right decision. - What's up, dude?
Okay, let's huddle up.
[ Gasping ]
Do it.
I really don't want to, honestly.
I know how pickyyou are about what products you use on your face.
Butyou've been getting so much pressure from the gorillas on the football team.
I guess they didn't appreciate me resigning from the team and choosing Glee.
Probablywould have went over better ifyou didn't announce it in the showers.
You are not gonna Slushee on my man Kurt.
Whywouldn't he? He's made his choice.
He doesn't care about us losers anymore,
No, that's not true. It's just that if I don't do it...
the guys on the team are gonna kick the crap out of me.
Well, we can't have that, can we?
- What are you doin'? - It's called taking one for the team.
Now get out ofhere. And take some time to thinkwhether or not...
any ofyour friends on the football team would have done that foryou.
Someone get me to a day-spa stat!
- Ooh, hey, hey, hey. - Oh. Sue.
Rod. Andrea.
Uh, you aren't scheduled to tape another "Sue's Corner" until... tomorrow night.
I came by special to show you my xoot suit.
I had it made for our dance competition.
But, uh, only the men wear those.
- Further embarrassed. - You're taking her?
- Not now, Andrea, - He took me last year.
We came in third.
You didn't think that... we were... exclusive, did you?
It's the onlyway I do it, Rod.
I can't be caged in, Sue. That's why I got my tiger tattoo.
Heck, even mywife understood that,
Are we still on for Saturday night?
No.
Hut!
[ Cheering ]
[ Chattering]
- You miss it? - Hell, no.
- Set, hut! - [ Whistle Blows ]
I hope you didn't choose Glee over football because of me.
Why?
Because I don't think this relationship is gonna work out.
It's cool. I was gonna break up with you anyway.
- No, you weren't. - Yes, I was.
You won't even let me touch your boobs.
- It's Finn, right? - [Whistle Blows ]
He's nevergonna leave Quinn, Not with that babyin herbelly,
You like her, don't you? I can see you staring at her when I'm staring at Finn.
Is that whyyou joined Glee? To be closer to her?
Like I said, they're never breaking up.
God, what's the matterwith me?
I'm a stud, and I can't even hold on to a chick likeyou?
No offense. Why don't girls like me?
Becauseyou're kind ofa jerk. No offense.
I just thinkyou want it too much...
which is something I can relate to,
I want everything too much.
Our relationship was built on a fantasy.
Like every other one in my life.
I think I just agreed to us being together because I thought it would make Finn jealous.
- I just hope we can still be friends. - We weren't friends before.
[Boys Shouting]
Hey, Finn, wanna have a catch?
- Sure. - Go long.
I'm not comin' back.
These are the moments, Finn. They're the crossroads.
They're the ones you look back at when you get old and think "what if?'
I don't buy that. I don't think any one decision makes your life...
unless you accidentally invent some kind ofxombie virus or somethin'.
No. You're right.
Life's a series of choices.
Big combination of moments- little ones that add up to big ones...
that create whoyou are,
You're lettin' other people make those choices foryou, Finn.
You're letting them decide whoyou're gonna be.
Peopleyou're not even gonna know in threeyears.
People whose names you're gonna forget...
when you run into them in the hardware store.
You don't understand the kind of pressure I'm under.
Yes, I do.
Because of all the students I've ever had, you remind me the most of me.
Come back to Glee, Finn.
It's whereyou belong.
[Whistles Blow]
Hey, Coach. Can I talk toyou about somethin'?
- You got an itch down there or somethin'? - What?
No. Uh-
- I'm the quarterback, right? The leader. - Sure.
Well, all this stuffabout having to choose between Glee and football...
is making it hard for me to lead.
Leaders are supposed to see things that other guys don't.
Right? Like they can imagine a future where things are better.
Like Thomas Jefferson or that kid from the Terminator movies.
I see a future where it's cool to be in Glee Club.
Where you can play football and sing and dance and no one gets down on you for it.
Where the more differentyou are the better.
I guess what I'm tryin' to say is...
I don't wanna have to choose between them anymore.
It's not cool.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, about that Thursday practice. It's, uh, canceled indefinitely.
I got,,, stuffl gotta do that time,
Laundry, things like that.
[ Exhales ] Oh. Sweet.
Finn.
Tell Puckerman and the other guys too, will you?
Sure. Thanks, Coach.
- [School Bell Rings ] - [Sue ]Schuester!
- Yeah. - I'll need to see that set list for sectionals after all.
I want it on my deskwarm from the laminator at 5:00 p.m.
And ifit is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and getyou a kitty cat.
I will letyou fall in love with that kitty cat.
And then on some dark, cold night I will steal a way intoyour home...
and punch you in the face.
- Hey, Sue. - What?
- Didn't work out with Rod? - No, it did not.
Q, take offthose sunglasses.
I wanna look in your eyes when I giveyou this piece ofbusiness.
You're offthe Cheerios. I can't have a pregnant girl on my squad.
You're a disgrace.
[ Laughing ]
[School Bell Rings ]
- [Kids Chattering] - Hey.
Hey.
I wanted to talk to you about yourwedding mash-up.
I've been workin' really hard on it and...
I just can't get those two songs to go together.
Yeah. That's because they don't.
We both know that.
[ Sighs ]
They're both good songs though.
Great ones.
Will, um, I just wanted to say, uh-
Thankyou...
for the dance lessons.
[Footsteps Fade ]
So, what do you think about mywelcome back gift to the club, huh, guys?
Thanks for the Slushees, Finn. They're delicious.
[Kurt]Andloaded with emptycalories, You know whythey call them Slushees?
Because your butt looks like one ifyou have too many of them.
I'd like to propose a toast. To Mr. Schue.
You were right about Glee Club and football bein' a killer combination.
[ Cheering ]
Mr. Schue, I am sorry to report...
that we've all been remiss about completing our assignment this week.
Yeah, none of us could find a good groove for "Bust a Move."
And I personally feel like a failure.
Well, that's okay, guys. Because I feel like the lesson landed.
And that's what's important.
- And we are glad to haveyou back, Finn. - [ Club Agrees ]
- You okay, Quinn? - Do I look okay?
I'm devastated, Now that I'm offthe Cheerios, I'llstart every. day with a Slushee facial,
That's okay if that happens, Quinn, because there are 1 1 ofyour friends right here...
- who are gonna be more than happy to help clean you off. - [All] Yeah, Whoo!
That's right, girl.
[ Groans ] Mmm, brain freexe.
I can't imagine gettin' hit in the kisserwith one ofthese.
You've never been hit by a Slushee before, Mr. Schue?
Um-
All right, guys.
[ Sighs ] We're a team.
Bring it on. Gimmeyour best shot.
- One, two, three. - [ Screams ]
Oh. [ Sighs ] All right. From the top.
[ Cheering, Laughing ]
??[Vocalizing]
??[Harmonic Vocalizing]
?? [Ends ]
English - US - SDH