Here's whatyou missed last week,
Quinn's pregnant and Puck's the father, but every.body thinks it's Finn,
You're a punk who doesn't deserve Quinn as his girlfriend!
Except for Quinn's parents who don't know anyhing at all,
Theyjust know she's in the Celibacy Club,
Well, call the Vatican. We got ourselves another immaculate conception.
- And that's whatyou missed on- - ? Glee ?
[School Bell Rings ]
Ballad. From Middle English "balade."
- Who knows what this word means? - It's a male duck.
- Kurt. - A ballad is a love song.
Sometimes, but they don't always express love.
Ballads are stories set to music...
which is whythey're the perfect storm ofself-expression,
Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way.
Okay, now sectionals are in a few weeks,
And there's a new rule this year. We have to perform... a ballad.
Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee finally paid off.
Okay, so here's our assignment for the week.
I'm gonna pairyou off, and I wantyou to pick a ballad to sing toyour partner.
Look them right in the eye...
find the emotion you want to express, and make them feel it.
- I pick Quinn. - No, no, no, no, no. Too easy.
Your partners will be chosen by fate.
- Oooh. - "Oooh," yeah. I put all your names in this hat.
Whoeveryou choose is your partner.
- I bet that duck's in the hat. - But Matt's outsick today,
He had to go to the hospital 'cause they found a spider in his ear.
- [ Students Groan ] - I guess I'll just have to put my name in the hat for now.
Who's up first?
- Mercedes. - [Will]All right,
Quinn.
- Kurt. - [Students Laugh ]
Mr. Schue, I don't know if I can do this with another guy.
The Fates have spoken, Finn.
Other Asian.
[ Chuckles ] Brittany.
[ Gasps ]
- [Will] Howfitting, - [ Brittany] Yea!
Looks like I get you, Mr. Schue.
Uh, you know what? Maybe we should just wait until Matt gets back.
- The Fates talked, Mr. Schue. - [Students Laugh ]
Would you mind clarifying what kinds of songs you want us to sing?
Why don'tyou let Mr. Schuester and I demonstrate?
Brad, "Endless Love" in B-flat, please. It's my favorite duet.
I really don't think that's an appropriate song, Rachel.
Why? It's a great song and it's a perfect ballad.
Yeah, I really like that song, Mr. Schue.
[ Students Laugh ]
?? [ Slow Tempo ]
♪ My love ♪
[ Thinking ] I could totally sing this song with Finn.
Butscrewhim ifhe thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me,
♪The only thing that's right ♪
[ Thinking ] I love the days when I don't wear underwear.
- Full commando, - ? My first love ?
[ Thinking ] I never noticed how nice Rachel's butt is.
Oh, crap. I think Quinn knows I'm staring at it.
♪You're every breath that I take ♪
♪You're every step I make ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ I-I-I ♪
♪ I want to share ♪
[ Both ] ? All my love ?
♪With you ♪
[ Solo ] ? No one elsewill do ?
- ? And your eyes ? - ?Your eyes, your eyes ?
[ Both ] ?They tell me how much you care ?
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
[ Thinking ] Wow. I've never noticed this before...
because he's always trying to destroy my career...
but Mr. Schue has really pretty eyes.
♪ My endless love ♪
And really nice teeth. He's obviously invested in good oral hygiene.
And that's important to me. It shows wonderful self-esteem.
[ Both ] ? I'll be that fool ?
♪ Foryou ♪
♪ I'm sure ♪
[ Thinking ] I don't like the way she's looking at me.
Oh, Ishouldn't have sung this song to her, Crap! She looks crazyright now,
I know this look.
♪ And yes ♪
♪ You'll be the only one ♪
- ? Oh ? - ? 'Cause no ?
[ Both ] ? No one can deny ?
♪ This love ♪
♪ I have inside ♪
♪ And I'll give ♪
♪ It all to you ♪
- ? My love ? - ? My love, my love ?
[ Both ] ? My endless love ??
[ Thinking ] Okay, this is amaxing.
When I'm singing with him, it's like I'm seeing him forthe first time.
And what I'm seeing is super, super cute.
?? [ Ends ]
- Okay. Something like that. - [Applause]
[ Nervous Laugh, Clears Throat ]
Sweetie, I am so proud ofyou.
The Chastity Ball is so important toyour father.
[ Thinking ] God, I miss the firm support of my polyester Cheerios uniform.
The control panel hid my baby bump perfectly.
Hmm. That's odd. We had this custom-made a month ago.
I had a really big lunch today at school.
Really big tacos.
No worries, sweetie. I'll just take it down to the tailor tomorrow.
We'll let it out a little bit. The problem here, honey, is, you know...
I just don't thinkyou've been getting enough exercise ever sinceyou quit the Cheerios.
- Am I right? - Yeah, yeah. That's right.
You used to spend hours every day doing backflips and high kicks.
And now- I mean, nowyou spend all your free time...
sitting on a stool in the dark singing show tunes.
Doyou know how many calories you burn singing? Hmm?
- Notvery many. - Judy! Glenn Beck is on,
- [ Gasps ] - Oh, wait. Hold on.
- [ Laughs ] He's so- - Holdon, No, I don't want to see,
Daddy, it's not like we're getting married.
- I don't want- Oh. - [Laughs ]
Oh! Look atyou,
Speaking of getting married...
how's that boyyou've been dating?
Yeah, yeah. He's not pressuring you at all, is he?
No. No, he's a gentleman.
I'm glad to hear that. That's why I'm inviting him overfor dinner on Sunday.
- Oh, wonderful! - Refresher?
Honey, I don't wantyou to lift a finger for me.
- I'm yourwife. - [ Chuckles ]
- My little lemon drop. I gotta go catch Glenn. - [ Gasps ]
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Sighs ]
[School Bell Rings ]
- Mr. Schuester? - Yeah?
I just wanted to confirm we're set to rehearse our ballad at 4:00 sharp this afternoon.
Oh. Isn't Matt backyet?
No, it's just... you and me all week long.
Great. I'll seeyou at 4:00.
Is there something else?
I just wanted to giveyou this.
Open it.
Gold stars are kind ofmy signature thing.
I figure everytimeyou wear ityou can think ofme and the staryou're helping me become.
- [Will] It's happening,,, again, - [School Bell Rings ]
It always starts with a novelty gift.
Well, you can't blame her, Will.
Ifwe were gonna rank crush-worthy teachers at this school...
you'd be number one with a bullet.
Uh, well, I-I-When did- When did this startwith Rachel?
We sang a duet in Glee Club. "Endless Love."
- Okay. In hindsight, thatwas probably a mistake. - Yeah.
I can't handle going through this again.
Sorry. Going through, um- Going through what again?
Have I evertold you about... Suxy Pepper?
The alpacas start there and travel down towards Guadalajara.
SuzyPepperwasn't the first schoolgirl crush, but she was the hardest,
It happened about two years ago before you were a teacher here,
- Suzy was unique, - Mr. Schue?
How do you conjugate the verb "to love"?
[ School Bell Rings ]
Peppers.
So you can wear them and think of me- Suxy Pepper.
[ Will] I thought it would burn out like the others, But it only got worse,
[ Phone Rings ]
- Hello? - [ Exhaling ]
- Who is it? Who died? - [ Exhaling ]
Suxy Pepper?
You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath.
That's so romantic.
Listen, you little psycho. This is Will's wife.
And ifl don't get enough sleep, my antidepressants won't work.
- And then I'll go craxy, and I'll kill you. - Terri.
Stop calling!
- [Phone Beeps Off] - [ Sighs ] Can'tyou handle anything, Will?
- [Will] Terri was right, - [School Bell Rings ]
Orso I thought,
I decided to be honest with Suzy, Face this head-on,
- Okay, how'd that go? - [ Sighs ]
- [ Sobbing ] - ?? [ Slow ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Sobbing Continues ]
♪ More than words ♪
♪ Is all you have to do ♪
- ? To make it real ? - [Alarm Wailing]
♪ That you love ♪♪
[ Gags ]
It was the world's hottest pepper.
- She had it shipped from Sinaloa, Mexico. - Oh, gosh. What happened?
The ambulance arrived just in time. The pepper burned holes in her esophagus...
and she was in a medically induced coma for three days.
That's why I can't just tell Rachel to back off.
These girls are too fragile.
Wow. Okay.
How 'bout this? Why don'tyou take your own advice?
Right? Do what you told the kids to do.
Ifyou're feeling awkward telling Rachel howyou feel...
then why don'tyou, um, you know, sing it to her.
Let her down gently.
And don't wear that tie.
Yeah.
Sing to me everything you feel.
Okay. Uh-
I can't. I can't- I can't sing to a dude.
- You have to try. - I can't! Okay?
I can't! I'm sick and tired of people pushing me to be somebody I'm not.
Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling and inappropriate.
Dude, I'm sorry.
You're really awesome, Kurt. I-
I'm just under a load of crap right now.
Girls.
They'reyour problem.
They're up. They're down. Girls.
It's the baby. [ Exhales ]
She's my daughter and-
There are so many things I want to say to her, and I'm never gonna be able to.
Like what?
Well...
Iike how I don't want her to think that her fatherjust abandoned her.
How I would do anything for her.
How no matterwhat I do I'm always thinking about her.
How I'm gonna spend mywhole life loving her and she's never even gonna know.
You gotta let it out.
How?
By singing.
"I'll Stand ByYou," by the Pretenders.
It's in yourwheelhouse. And I knowyou know it from the radio because it's a classic.
And you do well with classics, especially in the soft rock mode.
Yeah, I do like that song, but...
how's it gonna make me feel better again?
By singing it out to the audience.
Imagineyour little girl sitting there.
Thank God I never missed a piano lesson.
?? [ Piano]
♪Oh ♪
♪Whyyou lookso sad ♪
♪Tears are inyour eyes ♪
♪Come on and come to me now ♪
♪When the night falls on you ♪
♪You don't knowwhat to do ♪
♪ Nothing you confess ♪
♪Could make me loveyou less ♪
♪ I'll stand byyou ♪
♪Won't let nobody hurtyou ♪
♪ I'll stand byyou ♪
♪Take me in into your darkest hour ♪
♪ And I'll never desertyou ♪
♪ I'll stand byyou ♪
♪Won't let nobody hurtyou ♪
♪ I'll stand byyou ♪♪
Finn, what's going on?
- What areyou doing? - Uh, nothing.
Wereyou just singing to a sonogram?
Uh-huh.
Is Quinn pregnant?
[ Sobbing ] Mom. I'm sorry.
- I'm so sorry! [ Sobbing Continues ] - Shh, shh.
- I screwed up, Mom. - It's gonna be okay.
- [ Sobbing Continues ] I'm so sorry. - Shh, shh. Shh.
- [School Bell Rings ] - I can't believeyou told your mom. What if she tells my mom?
- She's not. - Halfthe school knows. Your mom knows. Who elseyou wanna tell?
- She's not gonna tell anybody. - You're wrong. I'm right. I'm smart. You're dumb.
All this baby drama is making my rosacea act up.
I know. I just feel bad for them, having to go through this on their own.
Let me see what I can do. I'll report back later.
[ Quinn ] No, no, no, You're wrong, I'm right, I'm right,
- She doesn't talk to other moms. - Okay?
- [ Exhales ] - How do you explain her constant irritation with you?
It's because she's a girl.
No, I think it's the pregnancy hormones or something. They make her kinda nuts.
It's enough to wanna give up women altogether. [ Laughs ]
Yeah. Anyway, thanks for the advice about singing to the baby like that.
It worked like a charm. I oweyou one, dude.
[ Thinking ] Okay, I'll admit it. I'm madly in love with Finn.
I have been since the first timewe met.
Dude, impulse control.
He was myknight inshiningarmor,
Myfeelings onlygrewstronger as we bonded over Glee,,,
then football, then skin care,
Your "T" xone is dangerously dry.
Your "T" xone.
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
Twice a day. It's very mild and has a built-in sunblock.
Cool. Thanks, man.
[ Thinking ] I don't know why I find his stupidity charming.
I mean, he's cheating offa girl who thinks the square root offour is rainbows.
I guess that's love foryou.
Hey, eyes on your own paper.
I knowitseems weird that I'm helping Finn with Quinn,
But rest assured, it's all part of a master plan.
No matter what I do or how much I assist him with his ballad...
she's going to end up disappointing him and breaking his heart,
And then he'll be cry.ing into myshoulderpads,
- [School Bell Rings ] - [ Sniffs ]
- [ Soft Gasp ] - Okay, so, I 'm real ly excited.
I picked a medley of songs that's gonna be a fantastic teaching tool...
about how to sing a great ballad,
- Why is Miss Pillsbury here? - Uh-
Well, I- I, too, am very curious about the power ofthe ballad.
You know, I'm thinking of doing some career counseling in song.
- Emma. - S.A.T. prep-
-Just-Yeah. - Sitting. Yeah.
Okay, Rachel. This is a mash-up of"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap...
and the 1 980 Police classic, "Don't Stand So Close To Me."
And I wantyou to listen very closely to the lyrics...
because I really mean what I'm singing.
Really... Iisten.
Okay.
?? [ "Don't Stand So Close To Me" ]
♪Young teacher The subject ♪
♪ Ofschoolgirl fantasy ♪
♪ She wants him so badly ♪
♪ Knows what she wants to be ♪
- ?? ["Young Girl"] - ?With all the charms of a woman ?
♪You've kept the secret ofyouryouth ♪
- ?? [SongSwitches Back] - ? Bookmark it, she's so close now ?
♪This girl is halfhis age ♪
♪ Don't stand Don't stand so ♪
♪ Don'tstandso close to me♪
- ?? [SongSwitches Back] - ?Young girl, you're outta your mind ?
♪Your love for me is way out ofline ♪
♪ Betterrun, girl♪
♪You're much tooyoung, girl ♪
- ?? [SongSwitches Back] - ?Temptation, frustration ?
- ? So bad it makes him cry ? - ?? [SongSwitches Back]
♪ Beneath your perfume and makeup ♪
♪You're just a baby in disguise ♪
♪ Get out ofhere ♪
♪ Beforeyou have the time to changeyour mind ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm afraid you'll go too far ♪
- ?? [ Song Switches Back] - ? Don't stand, don't stand so ?
♪ Don'tstandso close to me♪
- ?? [SongSwitches Back] - ?Young girl, you're outta your mind ?
♪Your love for me is way out ofline ♪
- ? Better run, girl ? - [ Chorus ]? Don'tstandso ?
♪You're much tooyoung, girl ♪♪
So, Rachel...
doyou thinkyou understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?
Yes. It means I'm veryyoung and it's hard foryou to stand close to me.
[ Sighs ] Oh, no. Um-
Emma, would you mind helping me out here? Was that the message thatyou got?
- You're a very good performer. - [ Groans ]
- He's very good. - Well, I, for one, can't wait to go home...
and work on a medley of my own for tomorrow.
Because this lesson has given me... a lot to think about.
No, Rachel, that reallywasn't the-You-
[ Sighs ]
- [School Bell Rings ] - Bravo.
Thanks for coming over, Kurt.
I know you're into fashion and that kind of stuff.
And I need to find something nice to wear to the Fabrays for dinner. So-
I couldn't be more pleased and honored to helpyou find something vintage...
and appropriate to wear.
Here it is. My mom never had the heart to throw this stuff out.
[ Chuckles ]
Here, hang on to that for the next time Puck throws you in the Dumpster.
My dad's the same way.
My mom died 1 0 years ago and he still keeps her toothbrush on the holder by their sink.
The broken dresser in their room still smells like her perfume.
I knowit's stupid, butsometimes I'llsneak in there,,,
and open all the drawers...
and lie on the floor and close my eyes and just smell her.
That's not stupid.
I guess in a way I'm lucky I never knew him. You know?
[ Chuckles ]
- Check this out. - [Laughs ]
Not halfbad.
Your father had good taste.
I can't believe it fits.
Um, thanks.
My fatherwas brave enough to fight in some desert thousands of miles away...
and I can't even go over to Dudley Road and tell the Fabrays the truth.
Your father didn't charge into the breach empty-handed.
He had a weapon.
You think I should bring a gun?
No. I thinkyou should useyour greatestweapon.
Yourvoice.
Hey, sweetie, I'm home.
Something smells good.
[ Sighs ]
- Oh, thanks. - You're welcome.
Casserole's almost ready. Hopeyou like venison.
Why did you even let her in the house?
'Cause she said she was one ofyour Glee kids.
It didn't take me five minutes to realixe she's in love with you.
She asked ifshe could seeyour baby pictures.
What? So, nowyou're making her clean our bathroom?
Look, Will, I've been dealing with these schoolgirl crushes foryears.
So why shouldn't I get a little something out ofit?
- Doyou have any more Ajax? - In the linen closet, sweetie.
[ Mouths Word ]
- This is immoral, Terri. - No, honey. You know what's immoral?
Is me having to deal with the fact...
that my husband spends all day with young girls who are perkier...
and younger than I am.
I have a rash on my belly from that cocoa butter thatyour mother sent me.
Doyou have any idea how much it burns when I sweat?
I can't scrub the floors as hard as she can.
Baby, ifit's that bad,you have to let me see it, It might be infected,
What? So, now I'm gonna show you the bleeding pustules on my skin?
Wow. Yeah. No, that's not gonna send you into the loving arms of some teenage slut.
For the last time, I am not having an affair with any of my students.
And you are not allowed to turn one ofthem intoyour slave...
becauseyou have this irrational fear of me leaving you.
Well, why not, huh, ifit's win-win for everyone?
- Look, she's a really good cook. Try it. - [ Groans ]
- Whereyou going? - I'm taking Rachel home.
Can you ask her to dust the blinds in the craft room first?
- Mr, Schuester? - Yes, Rachel.
Why do I have to sit in the backseat?
Um, it's the law. Children have to ride in the back.
Children under seven.
Well, I'm just concerned foryour safety.
Really?
Um, no. Not really.
I thinkwe should take advantage ofthis golden alone time and practice our ballad.
That would be great, but I don't have any music in the car.
It's okay. I made us a CD.
Oh.
- ??[Dance Pop] - ? Ah, crush ?
♪ Ah♪
♪ I seeya blowin' me a kiss ♪
♪ It doesn't take a scientist ♪
♪To understand what's going on, baby ♪♪
- [Ejects CD] - [ Sighs ]
I wasn't finished.
Yeah, well, the acoustics are horrible in the car. Putyour seat belt back on.
[Sighs ] So, how's it going with Puck?
- Are you guys still seeing each other? - I broke things off,
He was too immature, As are all the boys in high school,
I need a man who can keep up with me intellectually and creatively.
Well, that's a tough road for most high-school boys.
That's why I have my sights set much higher.
[School Bell Rings ]
Stay away from him. You're gonna get hurt... bad.
- You can't threaten me, Pepper. I'm not afraid ofyou. - You should be.
Oh, you're on the second floor? Oh, you're right above me.
Girl, you? I'm a hot, damn mess.
I found out today my hamster is pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping.
No, no, I think that's a great idea.
- We're supposed to be rehearsing. - I'm talking to Tina.
I'll hityou back. This is bad, dude.
All our ballads are terrible 'causewe're all so distracted.
We're all worried about Finn and Quinn and "babygate."
We can't even sing about our emotions 'cause we're so worried about theirs.
- Who cares? - Um, we all do.
So we decided we're all gonna sing them a ballad to show that we got their backs.
Areyou kidding me? There's no way I'm singing to them.
[ Groans ] It's not fair! Finn gets everything.
- He gets the sympathy. He gets the girl. - What is your problem?
Finn's not the father!
I am.
What?
All right, look.
You need to get something through your Mohawk real quick.
You're the baby's daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father.
And that role's already been cast because Quinn chose Finn.
And you need to accept that and move on.
'Cause you have no business messing up that girl's life any more than you already have.
You need to back off. You owe her at least that much.
Mmm. A lovely ham.
- Thankyou. - There is no beatingJudy's ham.
[ Laughs ] I cure all my own meats.
- I'd like to propose a toast. - Daddy, no.
- Russell and his famous toasts. - [Russell Laughs ]
The Fabrays are a tight-knit family.
I have been blessed with a loving wife...
two remarkable daughters,
My first married a wonderful Christian man.
Owns his own chain of U.P.S. stores.
My second daughter, little Quinny...
we're just so proud ofher.
Captain ofthe Cheerios, president ofthe Celibacy Club.
I got a little peak at the dress. I'm certain she's a shoo-in for princess.
- She is. - But tonight...
[ Voice Fading ] we are very glad to welcome heryoung friend, quarterback no less-
I have to go to the bathroom.
Uh, too much pop.
Oh, wait. It's right through the kitchen, sweetheart.
He wears a helmet when he plays, right?
He's just intimidated byyou, Daddy.
[ Panting ]
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
Well, hello, Finn Hudson.
I'm at the Fabrays and I'm freaking out. What does a heart attack feel like?
Settle down, cowboy. This is whywe burnt the disc and spent that time rehearsing.
- I can't do it. - Yes, you can. Just remember the power ofthe ballad.
I have to go. They'll think I'm pooping.
[ Cell Phone Beeps ]
[ Panting ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunting ] Ha!
- That's my kitchen radio. - Yeah, I need to borrow it.
Finn? What's this?
Well, we have this assignment in Glee Club to sing a ballad.
They're allabout expressing the things you can't findany otherwayto say,
Oh, God. Finn, don't.
- Please, don't. - No, I need to do this... for both of us.
?? [Ballad]
♪ You're havin' my baby ♪
♪What a lovelyway of sayin' how much you love me ♪
♪You're havin' my baby ♪
♪ What a lovelywayofsayin'♪
♪What you're thinkin' of me ♪
♪ I can see it ♪
♪Your face is glowin' ♪
♪ I can see it in your eyes ♪
♪ I'm happyyou know it ♪
♪Thatyou're havin' my baby ♪
♪ You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin'toya♪
♪You're havin' my baby ♪
♪You're a woman in love and I love what's goin' through ya ♪
♪ The needinsideyou♪
♪ I see it showin' ♪
♪Whoa, the seed insideyou, baby ♪
?? [ Stops ]
There must be some sort of mistake here. Quinny, we raised you right.
You-You did. We didn't even have sex.
I'm sorry., Can wejuststop with the lying, please?
- But I'm- - Whenyou were about fiveyears old,,,
I tookyou and your sister down to an I ndians game.
All the other dads brought theirsons,
But mytwo girls were enough for me,
- Daddy. - Yoursister made it through the whole game,
But you fel I asleep in my lap.
I kept hoping nothing exciting would happen...
'cause I didn't want the crowd to get too loud,,,
and wake you up.
Didn't matter.
You stayed asleep in my arms...
till the game ended.
Daddy, I'm so sorry.
[ Sighs ]
You need to leave.
Wait. Please, Daddy, can we talk about this?
Finn is a good guy.
He loves me.
You too.
- [ Shuddering ] - Get out of my house.
Butyou can't do that. She didn't do anything wrong.
- [ Sighs ] - Please, Mrs. Fabray, do something.
Don't bother, Finn, [Inhales Sharply]
If she wanted to do something, she would have when she found out that I was pregnant.
You knew?
I- No. She didn't tell me anything.
But you knew. And I needed you.
I needed my mom. And you were so scared...
ofwhat he would do...
ifhe found out that you just pushed it aside...
Iike we do every bad feeling in this house.
Ifyou don't talk about it, it doesn't exist.
Now do not turn this on us!
You are the disappointment here!
Why?
Because I'm not a little girl anymore?
Because I made a mistake?
Who areyou?
I don't recognixeyou at all.
I'm your daughter...
who loves you.
And I knowthis must be reallyhardforyou,
But I just need my daddy to hold me and tell me that it's gonna be okay.
Please.
[ Sobs ]
- [Footsteps Climbing Stairs ] - Judy!
Honey, how many times have I told you you gotta turn these T-shirts right-side out-
Um, Mom, Quinn's parents threw her out.
Could she stay here for a couple of days?
Yeah, of course she can.
Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.
Hey, Barbra Streisand. We need to have a little talk.
I have nothing to say to you, Pepper.
Ifyou continue to stalk me, I'll press charges.
Everyone knows whatyou are. You're the school craxy.
I was craxy- craxy in love.
There's nothing you can say that's gonna change the way I feel about Mr. Schuester.
Ours is a love for the ages. Your threats will just make our love grow stronger.
Let me tell you a few things I learned from two years of intense psychotherapy...
and an esophagus transplant.
Lesson number one: You and Schue, it won't work.
What do you mean?
We're not so different, you and me.
We're both mildly attractive and extremely grating.
Love is hard for us.
We look for boys we know we can never have.
Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues.
He can never reciprocate our feelings, which only reinforces the conviction...
that we're not worthy ofbeing loved.
Trust me. I'm a cautionary tale.
You need to find some self-respect, Rachel.
Get that mildly attractive groove back.
Mr. Schuester, I'm readywhen you are.
The ballad I've selected has an important message that I'm anxious foryou to hear.
Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to stopyou.
The wayyou've been acting is totally inappropriate.
I'm your teacher, Rachel. And I'm sorry, but that's all I'm ever gonna be.
I know.
I- I brought these foryou as an apology.
And the song I was gonna sing was...
"Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word" by Elton John...
'cause I know how much you love him.
I'm such an idiot.
Mooning overyou andcleaningyourapartment,
Hey. It's okay.
I know it's not always easy foryou, Rachel.
And I know that there are some things about yourself...
that you thinkyou'd like to change.
Butyou should know that there's some boy out there...
who's gonna likeyou for everything you are...
including those parts ofyou that even you don't like.
Those are gonna be the things he likes the most.
Thanks, Mr. Schue.
What doyou saywe ditch rehearsal today? [ Chuckles ]
I've gotta be honest, Rachel. You've never really needed much help with your ballads.
You've been knocking them out ofthe park since day one.
- Doyou like them? - They're great.
So theyjust kicked her out?
Yeah. Gave her halfan hour to pack.
Her father set the timer on the microwave.
I'm sorry. I guess my plan kinda sucked.
No. Uh, this is good.
No more secrets. You know, everything's out there, all the feelings. Uh-
And that's better. Right?
Yes. Better.
Good. Uh-
All right, well, let's work on your ballad.
Uh, you were really helpful when I was trying to find mine. So, what is it?
"I Honestly Love You."
Uh, sounds awesome.
I don't know the song, uh, orwhatever.
But it sounds... positive and nice and stuff.
Hey,you two, We need to go to the choirroom,
Why?
Because there's something we want to give you and Quinn.
- [Door Opens ] - Openyour eyes, I didn't tellyou to closeyour eyes,
- Is there a cake? - No, there's no cake, Be quiet, Sit down,
- [ Mercedes ] Hi, Quinn, - Do you know what's goi ng on?
Your fellow Glee Club members wanna sing a song foryou guys,,,
to let you know how they feel about you.
Uh, what are you gonna sing?
J ust listen. The song says everything.
?? [ Harmonixing ]
?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪ Sometimes in our lives ♪
♪We all have pain ♪
♪We all have sorrow ♪
♪ But ifwe are wise♪
♪We know that there's ♪
♪ Always tomorrow♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪When you're not strong ♪
♪ And I'll beyour friend ♪
♪ I'llhelpyou carry.on♪
♪ For it won't be long ♪
♪ Till I'm gonna need♪
♪ Somebodyto lean on♪
♪Just lean on me ♪
♪ Call on me, brother Hey ♪
♪ Whenyou needa hand Whenyou needa hand♪
♪We all need somebody ♪
- ? To lean on? - ? Somebody to lean on ?
♪ I just might have a problem ♪
♪That you'll understand ♪
♪ We all needsomebody♪
- ? To lean on? - ? Oh, whoa, whoa ?
- ? If ? - ? If ?
- ?There is a load ? - ?There's a load ?
- ?You have to bear ? - ?You have to bear ?
♪Thatyou can't carry ♪
- ? I ? - ? I am ?
- ? Am right up the road? - ?? [ Harmonixing ]
♪ I'll shareyour load ♪
♪ Ifyou just call me ♪
- ? Call me ? - ? Oh, call me ?
- ? Call me ? - [Mercedes ]? Whenyou needa friend?
- ? Call me? - [Artie ]? Call me?
- ? Call me? - ? Whenyou needa friend?
- ? Call me? - ? Call me any time of day ?
♪ Call me ♪
?? [ Vocalixing ]
♪ It won't be long ♪
♪Till I'm gonna need ♪
♪ Somebody to lean on ♪
♪ Lean on, lean on me ♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪ Lean, lean on me ♪
- ?? [ Harmonixing ] - ?? [Vocalixing ]
♪ Lean on me ♪
- ? Lean on me ? - ?You can lean on me ?
- ? I'm gonna need ? - ?Somebody ?
♪ Somebodyto lean on♪
- ?Somebody ? - ? Hey, hey ?
- ?To lean on ? - ? Somebodyto lean on?
?? [ Vocalixing ]
- ? Yeah? - ?Whoa, ho-ho ?
?? [Ends ]
?? [ Vocalizing]
?? [Harmonic Vocalizing]
?? [Ends ]
English - US - SDH