Well, this has been a productive afternoon.
Yeah.
- I'm so sorry. - Keep your eyes on the road there.
Any word from Navid?
No. And if I leave him any more messages I'm gonna seem stalkerish.
You know, there's no way that that coke was his.
We're talking about Navid here.
I can't believe he got suspended when he's so clearly innocent.
It's a travesty of justice.
- At least he wasn't expelled. - Or expunged.
Oh, my God, what's that? Like death by sponge?
Yeah, exactly.
I bet his parents confiscated his phone and his computer,
and he has no idea that I'm trying to reach out to him.
- Oh, I feel so helpless. - Hey, he's gonna be okay.
Hey, Annie.
Oh, hey, guys.
You've been doing some serious shopping.
Yes. One of us has.
You should come with us. We have about 20 minutes left
before the shops close and I'm still looking for the perfect LGD.
- Little gold dress. - Of course.
- Well, I would love to... - Come on.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry, I can't. So I'll see you later.
Okay.
- See you later, Annie. - Bye, Annie.
- You hungry? - Not really.
Come on, Annie, you said that you would give me a chance.
What do you mean?
Okay? I'm giving you a chance. We're here, aren't we?
We're hanging out. What do you want?
What I want is to have things how they used to be.
I want you to come over to my house tomorrow night.
What do you say?
I say I have homework.
Come on. We used to always hang out at my house.
Damn it. Just, you know what?
I'm getting really sick and tired of this attitude of yours.
We had a deal.
And you know what's at stake.
Okay, I'll go to your house.
Hey.
I've been looking all over for you.
We should talk.
Yeah, yeah, we should.
So, what are you thinking?
I wanna get back together.
- Cool. - Cool.
- Good morning. - Good morning, sweetheart.
Somebody's in a good mood.
You wearing cologne?
Maybe a splash.
Well, I have to go clear my nose out.
What happened? You win the lottery last night?
Not exactly.
But I did wake up with a good feeling.
I think something that I've been worried about is gonna work out.
Is this about your birth mother? Did she e-mail you back?
- No. No, she didn't. - I'm sorry.
Oh, no, no, no. It's cool. It's fine.
You know, she doesn't wanna see me. Big deal.
She has her own life, right?
- And you're okay? - Me? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Things are good and they're gonna get better.
Yeah. You know what? I gotta get ready for school.
- Don't wanna be late. - Okay.
Have a good day.
- See you, bud. - Peace.
- Hey. - Hey.
I've been looking for you.
- We should talk. - Yeah.
So, what are you thinking?
Look, I really, really care about your friendship.
I mean, I really, really want us to be friends.
Still on Teddy?
No, it's not like it's an either-or thing, Teddy or Dixon.
Look, it has nothing to do with Teddy. I just...
I don't feel that way about you anymore,
or right now, and I'm sorry.
- And I really... - Really, really wanna be friends.
Yeah.
And I'm serious about that.
I like having you back in my life.
And I want it to stay that way.
Okay.
- It will. - Okay.
- How's the burger? - It's not bad.
- You want a bite? - No, I'm fine.
Want a bite of my extremely dry chicken?
No.
But I'm sorry it's dry. You want me to run up and get you something else?
No, I was just making a little joke.
Apparently, a bad one.
No, it wasn't bad, it was funny.
I was doing some reading about boats yesterday.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Apparently, the earliest boats were built over 40,000 years ago.
They weren't like cruise ships...
- More like canoes... - Yes, exactly, canoes.
- Hey, potato head. - Oh, what the hell?
Be prepared to go down.
Not gonna happen, sucker.
Okay, okay, Liam, I give up. Okay? Mercy. Jeez.
That's what I'm talking about.
- Later loser. Bye, Naomi. - Bye.
Sorry about that.
What were we talking about?
- Canoes. - Canoes.
Exactly.
- Hey, lves. - Hey, what's up?
- You're totally over Liam, right? - Me? Yeah.
I mean, I'm the one that got you guys together, remember?
Yeah. No, I know, I know. I just want to double check,
because I could really use your help on something.
And in exchange I will give you some fabulous fashion tips.
First of all, burn that T-shirt.
Listen, Naomi, I really gotta go. Okay?
No, please, listen. It's me and Liam, okay?
We obviously have incredible sexual chemistry.
Good to know. Look, I really...
I don't understand why he's so stiff around me outside of the bedroom.
- Inside, like I said, he's plenty stiff. - Right, like you said.
I'm just trying really, really hard,
and it seems like he's completely uncomfortable around me.
But then I see him with you and he is so relaxed,
throwing French fries.
What do you think the problem is?
Look, you know, I'm not really sure.
It's not like I spend a lot of time with the two of you so...
Yeah, you're right. We should all do something together.
Excuse me?
Well, he's clearly more relaxed around you.
Maybe it'll rub off on me, you know.
Please? I really want this relationship to work out.
Yeah, okay. Let's all do something together.
You know what? I know just the thing.
Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Hey, come in.
My parents are away.
We have the whole house to ourselves.
Look, Annie, I know what's been the problem between us.
We haven't been connecting lately.
And I think it's because we haven't been intimate.
- Intimate? - If we have sex,
then you'll remember how magical things used to be between us.
You'll remember our special connection. Come here.
Jasper, no.
- No? - No.
- What do you mean no? - I mean, I can't sleep with you.
You have to.
I mean, you have to...
You have to give us a chance.
Are you...
Are you saying that if I don't have sex with you
- you're gonna go to the police? - Don't be vulgar, Annie.
What I want is what's good for both of us.
I just want us to have a real chance.
Jasper, no, I can't.
I can't have sex with you.
And I can't be in a relationship with you. I just... I can't.
And if that means that you have to go to the police,
then you have to go to the police.
- You don't mean that. - Yeah, I do.
- You don't mean that, Annie. - Yeah, I do.
And if you love me like you claim to,
and you want even the slimmest chance of us getting back together,
then you won't go to the police.
Because if you go to the police, that's it.
That chance that we might get back together,
that one in a million chance, it'll be gone.
Naomi, stick around a second. I wanna talk to you.
Any similarities between my paper
and the Wikipedia entry is purely coincidental.
No, it's not that.
I was just kidding.
So, what's up?
I'm just checking in.
I wanna see how you're holding up since Jen.
- Yeah, I am okay. - Okay, I'm glad.
Hey, I actually have some of her stuff. It's mostly clothes.
- It's probably expensive, so... - Just throw it out.
Or better yet, put it up on eBay and buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
Look, I just want you to know if there's anything that you need...
I'm fine, Mr. Matthews.
Okay.
Are you all right? She was pretty awful to you too.
Using you to bait rich men or whatever.
What's that?
She told me it looked good for her to be dating a teacher.
That way rich men wouldn't think that she was just after their money.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would bother you.
- I mean, she's clearly a sociopath. - Yeah, I know.
Yeah. No, don't worry, I'm fine.
You're gonna be late for your next class.
Yeah.
Hey. Are you busy?
No, I'm just slacking off a bit because Navid's not here.
- Oh, right. - I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have brought him up.
- You been able to get a hold of him? - No.
But in a way it's actually easier.
You know, not being able to see him or talk to him.
He makes my heart hurt less.
- Does that make me horrible? - No, trust me, I get it.
In History, we're learning about medieval torture techniques,
and I gotta say sitting next to Alexa for 40 minutes
pretty much trumps impalement.
Well, when I pass Navid in the hallway it's like I can't breathe.
I saw Alexa getting out of her car on La Brea
- and I walked into a lamp post. - Shut up.
I'm serious. True story. I had a lump on my head and everything.
- Still didn't hurt as much as my heart. - Okay, you win.
- You are most miserable. - Yes.
Sorry, it's been a while since I won anything.
- Cheers. - Here's to being miserable.
Being miserable.
You guys are gonna die when you see the view from the top of this hike.
- We're talking full 360. - Right on.
Being outdoors reminds me L.A.'s got more to offer than Botox.
I know. I love the outdoors.
All the rocks, dirt, chance to wear khaki.
It's funny, I never thought you'd like hiking.
Well, I am full of surprises.
- Come on, guys, let's get going. - Let's do it.
Sorry if this isn't your thing.
I just thought, you know, getting outside, a little physical activity,
help you guys, I don't know, get out of your heads a little...
No, I totally agree. I mean, it's already working.
He fist bumped me.
So, what exactly is a seitan burger?
It's like a burger except instead of the burger part it has seitan.
I don't know. It sounds to me like you're eating a Satan burger.
Well, it is the best thing you can get for $6.66.
See, this is nice, right?
- Us hanging out, being friends. - Yeah, it is.
Hey, so have you heard back from your birth mother?
No, no, actually.
But it's cool though. I'm kind of used to being rejected.
- Dixon. - Come on, I'm just joking.
Looks like Teddy's still hanging out with that girl from the dance.
Can't believe they're actually still seeing each other.
This is like a long-term relationship for him.
You met her at the dance, right?
What's she like?
I don't know. Wasn't really paying attention.
She looks really friendly.
Yeah, are you almost done with your burger?
You know, I'll go get the check. Excuse me, check please.
- Hi. - Hi.
Look, I know I'm way out of line here, but I have to tell you
I think you're making a huge mistake rejecting a great guy like my brother.
Savannah?
I'm sorry, we're just leaving.
I'm sorry, I just had to say my peace.
He's never been like this over a girl before. I just can't stand...
- Leaving now. - Okay.
I'm really sorry.
Good to see you again, Dixon.
Wait, you knew?
You knew this whole time that was Teddy's sister?
Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
Silver, look, Teddy's a player and he's always gonna be one.
He didn't hurt you just now, but eventually he would have.
I care about you. I just wanted to protect you.
No, you have no right to make that decision for me.
- Silver? - No, I don't even wanna hear it.
What kind of friend are you?
Look, I'm just saying it's not always easy listening to Coach
because I'm a way better surfer than he is.
I'm hoping you didn't tell him that.
I did, except I think I used the words "suck my tail fin,"
which was not such a good idea.
You okay, Naomi?
Yeah, just taking my time enjoying the great outdoors.
- Watch out for that poison oak. - Where?
- To the left... No, no, my left... - Where?
- By the garter snake. - What?
Come on.
- Sorry I couldn't make it to the top. - Stop, don't be silly.
Yeah, I mean, the view isn't even that really great.
Might as well just buy the postcard, right?
Liam, would you mind filling up my canteen?
- I'm really thirsty. - Yeah, you got it.
- Just so you know, I'm on to you. - What?
You've been trying to make me look bad because you still like Liam.
Okay, Naomi, that's ridiculous.
Oh, well, what's worse:
You're too much of a coward to admit it.
- I am not a coward. - Oh, really?
Well, then come clean.
Fine. I like him. I like him a lot.
And you know what? You guys suck as a couple.
- That's not true. - Okay, so why'd you ask for my help?
- Just stay away from him. - That's gonna be hard.
I mean, we are on the surf team together.
Well, then it's gonna be hard for me not to take you down.
I'd really like to see you try.
Oh, honey, you have no idea what you're up against.
Hey.
- Mind if I sit with you? - Sure.
Look, man, I have something I gotta tell you.
Shoot.
Silver was really into you at the Winter Wonderland dance
and she was gonna tell you.
But when she saw you with Savannah,
she thought that you were flirting with another girl.
She was? She did?
And I let her think that.
I really liked her, man.
And when she was feeling really vulnerable, that's when I kissed her.
So you should know that the kiss didn't mean anything to her.
All right? I lied when I said we might be getting back together.
And I lied when I told you she wanted you to leave her alone.
- What the hell, bro? - Yeah.
You should punch me.
Look, I can give you a bunch of excuses
to why I did what I did, all right? I was rejected by Silver.
I've been rejected by my birth mom.
I failed a math test that I studied for three freaking hours.
But the truth is none of that matters.
None of those excuses are good enough.
So,
you should punch me.
- Okay, I deserved that. - Yeah, you did.
You screwed up. At least you came clean.
- Well, I feel better. - Yeah, me too.
Yeah, well, I better.
So, what now?
Well, Silver likes you, man.
Go for it.
Okay, pity party checklist. First thing we need, sad movies.
Okay. The Way We Were, An Affair to Remember,
- P.S. I Love You, - Okay.
The Notebook?
Not The Notebook, I watched that with Alexa.
- Love Story. - Does anyone die?
- Yeah, and she's so young too. - Perfect.
- Hey. - Oh, hi.
Alexa, this is Adrianna.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - You too.
So listen, I was wondering if maybe we could talk at some point.
Yeah, sure.
- Cool, well, I'll call you later? - Okay.
Maybe she wants to get back together.
- Yeah, right. - Why else would she wanna talk?
Who knows? Maybe she's still mad at me
for saying that Rachel McAdams was hot.
We got in a fight when we watched The Notebook.
Okay, well, I hope it works out.
Besides, a true pity party is a solo affair. Right?
It was actually harder to track down than I expected.
I had to call nearly a dozen auto-body shops
pretending to be the guy from your insurance company
before I struck gold. But I did, I struck gold.
They were very cordial, meticulous. They kept excellent records.
That photo, however, is a real bonus.
- Is this a threat? - It's a present.
You know what? You win.
- You wanna get back together? - No.
If you want people to know what I did, then I'll tell them.
I'm gonna confess.
Hi, Liam.
Well, aren't you cute? You look like a little wet seal.
I hope no one clubs you.
I think I'll be fine.
I'm actually just gonna head back into the water with Liam.
Well, you have fun now.
I'll just be waiting for him when he gets back, all oiled up!
- Hi. - Hi.
Dixon told me the truth, about the dance
and Savannah, and everything.
Yeah, I thought Savannah was a girl...
Obviously, she's a girl.
But I thought that she was a "girl" girl, not, like, a sister girl.
Well, she's a sister girl.
I'm sorry for assuming the worst,
and for overreacting.
You know, and kissing Dixon.
He did tell you about that, right?
- Yeah, I knew about that and... - Okay.
It's okay. I don't really care.
What I care about is what you were gonna tell me at the dance
when you were coming to talk to me before the mix-up with my sister girl.
You wanted to get together, huh?
Yeah, I wanted to get together.
So can we just pick up where we left off?
- No. - No?
I freaked out because I thought you were a player,
and, I mean, come on, you are.
You've already been with two girls since we've been back to school.
That was because I thought you didn't like me.
- Now that I know things are different... - Teddy, stop.
How much could you like me if you were able to move on so quickly?
- I'll take another. - Sure.
Drinking on a school night, huh?
Hair of the dog.
Last night was a school night too.
You gonna tell on me or something?
Those who live in glass houses.
Let's just say it's been a rough couple weeks.
I hear that.
- I'm Laurel. - Ryan.
Would you excuse me while I go put some real music on that jukebox?
Hey, you. You looked good out there.
Hi. Aren't you cold?
I'm one of those people who usually runs really hot.
So I brought you some food.
I figured you worked up a great big appetite out there.
We sure did. What you got in there?
Just some sandwiches.
Looks like you got a bunch. Mind if I grab one?
This is really nice of you, Naomi. Thanks.
My pleasure.
Na brought some sammies. You want one?
No, I'm cool. Liam, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, sure. I'll be right back.
- Turkey and sprouts, good choice. - I'm glad you're enjoying it.
- Hey, what the? - I'm so sorry.
- That was totally an accident. - Whatever.
I'm out of here.
- What the hell? - Sorry, an accident.
I'm gonna kill you!
Get the hell off me, you crazy bitch!
What is wrong with you? Get off me.
Will you...
- Naomi? - How dare you?
Naomi, enough. Stop. Stop.
Relax. Relax. Stop.
What the hell is going on?
What is going on is that lvy has been trying to break us up this whole time!
That is obviously not what I was trying to do.
- Liam, the girl is crazy. - Stop it! Stop it!
Ever since I asked you for help you've been working against me!
But the truth is I shouldn't have asked you in the first place.
Because you know what?
She's not the problem! We are the problem!
I wouldn't have had to ask that she-devil for help
if it hadn't been so awkward between us!
And I have been trying so hard,
so unbelievably hard to be polite,
and perfect and prove that we have something in common.
But you know what? I am done trying! I'm done.
This is me, Liam!
I don't give a crap about how to build a boat!
And I don't do French fry fights.
And I hate nature! I hate it!
If you think I am ever, ever going on another hike again
you're out of your freaking mind!
And if you don't like me
for who I am, then that's just too damned bad!
- I refuse to answer that. - Come on. Come on.
- They were different. - But if you had to...
- Had to? - Yeah.
- Who's gonna make me? - Maybe I am.
Now, come on, spill. Who's better in bed,
Keith Richards or Mick Jagger?
Sorry, I don't kiss and tell.
There you go.
Although, Steven Tyler had it over both of them.
Steven Tyler?
Okay, your turn.
Why are you really drinking on a school night?
I'm guessing either you got dumped
or your indie rock band just broke up.
I don't have a rock band.
You know the best way to get over someone, right?
What's that?
Hair of the dog.
So, what did you wanna talk about?
I made a huge mistake, and I wanna get back together.
Why? Are you jealous because I've been hanging out with Ade,
- because we're just friends. - No, it has nothing to do with her.
It has to do with us and how much I miss you.
So,
will you give me another shot?
Screw Paris.
Screw Paris, and music and all that stuff you thought you stole from me.
- I don't care, don't you believe that? - Hey.
Room for one more at this pity party?
Of course, sit.
What did Alexa say?
I was so sure she wanted to get back together.
Well, she just wanted to give me back some of my stuff.
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
You are fantastic and wonderful.
And Alexa is an idiot for ever letting you get away.
Whatever. I'd rather hang with you anyway.
All right, we are gonna be starting this over.
- Be prepared to cry. - That's why I came.
I brought reinforcements.
- For you. - For you.
What are you doing here?
I couldn't stop thinking about what you said.
I want that one in a million chance.
- Wait, so you're not gonna... - Go to the police? No.
I love you too much.
If you love something, set it free,
and if it comes back, then it's yours.
Just come back to me Annie, okay?
- Feeling any better? - Much.
Thank you.
I will definitely need you to come back tomorrow.
Getting into a girl fight uses muscles I don't usually work out at the gym.
- Same time? - Yes, thank you.
- See you then. - See you.
You have a visitor.
It's all right. He can come in.
You didn't really have to come all the way over here.
I actually prefer to be broken up with over the phone. It's much less...
So girl fights turn you on?
Look,
I've been feeling distant from you ever since we got back together,
but I couldn't figure out what was wrong.
Why we weren't connecting.
You've been so polite,
so unlike the girl that I fell for.
I just wanted everything to be perfect.
I guess somehow that translated into me not being myself.
Well, I'm glad you're done with that, because the girl that I fell for
is ballsy and opinionated, and sure of herself.
And today,
I finally saw her again.
Well,
you'll be seeing a lot more of her.
And even after showing what a colossal bitch she is,
Liam still chose Naomi.
Whatever.
He said he had to make things right with her.
Clearly he's an idiot.
Yeah, but you have to say that, you're my mom.
Come on, you know me. I don't say things just because I have to.
That's true.
Can I interest you in a toke? Might relax you a little bit.
No, I'll pass.
Mom, you should really give that stuff up.
Yeah, well, I don't respond well to "should" either.
So did you at least take the princess down mano a mano?
It was actually kind of a draw. She's pretty scrappy.
You hungry?
You wanna, you know, grab some food or...
I'm cool.
Yeah, you are cool.
And Liam's an idiot, which is why he and Naomi deserve each other.
Maybe.
You know, Mick Jagger was an idiot too.
Why he chose Jerry Hall I'll never know.
Thanks.
No, I'm kidding.
- I'm really glad you called. - I am too.
My schedule unexpectedly cleared up.
- My God, these chips are insane. - Yeah, they're like mental.
Okay, guys, we have to focus. We have work to do here.
I am officially on the quest for the perfect LSD.
- What? - No, no, no.
I'm sorry, LSD?
Yes, every girl must have the perfect little sequined dress.
The LSD is the most important element to a girl's wardrobe.
Because boys like shiny things.
- They're like babies in that regard. - Or like trout.
True, true. Liam is totally a trout.
- So things are good with you guys? - Yeah, they're good.
- I'm glad. - Me too.
I'm glad I didn't chicken out. And I might have a bruise or two
and what I think is a dislocated shoulder blade,
but I took a risk and I caught me a trout.
Okay, but what if your trout turns out to be a huge player?
And yes, I may be conflating your fish with my fish.
You'll never know unless you try.
All right, where's the waitress? We need some more of these chips.
To trout and chips.
I don't wanna be with you.
Yeah, you made that pretty clear.
No, I...
I wanna be with you, I just don't wanna want to be with you.
- What are you saying? - I'm scared.
I like you a lot, and I wanna trust you but I don't.
So I'm scared.
So, what do we do now?
You better not hurt me.
Protestant and Catholic disagreement about the 1555 Peace of Augsburg
- was the cause of what numeric war? - Hundred Years' War.
- Evelyn. - The Thirty Years' War.
- What is the Hundred Years' War? - No.
- What is the Thirty Years' War? - Right.
Take Confrontational for 800.
After shutting off trade with the U.K.,
President Madison advised Congress to get ready for
- Madison, Madison... - what would be known as this war.
- 1812. - What is the War of 1812?
Yes.
Wow, Harry, you're on a roll.
No disrespect, but you're a lot smarter than I thought.
Oh, come on. Rule number one, never underestimate the dad.
I'll get it.
Hey, wait a minute.
- You TiVo'd this. - It is? No, I had no idea.
Never underestimate how low the dad will sink.
I can't believe you.
- You're here. - I'm here.
I hope it's okay.
- Dixon, who's there? - Hi, I'm Dana.
I'm Dixon's birth mom.