1
00:00:13,244 --> 00:00:14,444
And you call it.
2
00:00:14,512 --> 00:00:16,647
- Okay.
- All right.
3
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:20,017
My wife made her pitch,
4
00:00:20,084 --> 00:00:22,386
But I swung and gave it a ride!
5
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:25,459
It was off the wall,
6
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:27,261
And I knew it was gonna be close.
7
00:00:30,928 --> 00:00:32,296
Slide!
8
00:00:34,999 --> 00:00:35,566
Oh, you're out!
9
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:38,335
I lost. But that's not important.
10
00:00:38,403 --> 00:00:41,472
Because I learned in marriage
everyone needs a ref.
11
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,941
I can do that.
12
00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:46,009
Male announcer: And tonight's panel.
13
00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:48,111
To help the marriage
ref make his call...
14
00:00:51,582 --> 00:00:53,183
Now, here's the marriage ref,
15
00:00:53,751 --> 00:00:57,153
Tom papa!
16
00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:02,125
Thank you.
17
00:01:02,193 --> 00:01:04,060
Thank you very much.
18
00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:07,197
Hooray!
19
00:01:07,264 --> 00:01:09,165
Hi, and welcome to the
marriage ref.
20
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:12,135
I'm tom papa, and tonight
we're gonna watch real couples.
21
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:14,104
In the middle of
real-life arguments,
22
00:01:14,172 --> 00:01:15,739
And we're gonna give them.
23
00:01:15,807 --> 00:01:17,641
The one thing they've
always wanted...
24
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:18,942
A winner.
25
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:21,244
My marriage philosophy is simple.
26
00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:22,546
I've been married for ten years.
27
00:01:22,613 --> 00:01:23,613
I love my wife. You know why?
28
00:01:23,681 --> 00:01:24,781
We keep it simple.
29
00:01:24,849 --> 00:01:27,084
Don't make it harder
than it has to be.
30
00:01:27,151 --> 00:01:28,785
I have single friends
trying to get married.
31
00:01:28,853 --> 00:01:30,220
They're already a mess.
32
00:01:30,288 --> 00:01:32,889
"I...I'm waiting for my soul mate.
33
00:01:32,957 --> 00:01:34,624
I want my soul mate."
34
00:01:34,692 --> 00:01:37,961
It doesn't exist.
35
00:01:38,029 --> 00:01:41,264
Find someone you can tolerate.
How 'bout that?
36
00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:43,166
Really. Keep it simple.
37
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:45,902
Find someone you can sleep
next to without throwing up,
38
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:48,805
And marry them.
39
00:01:48,873 --> 00:01:51,641
All right, well, we've got
a great show for you guys,
40
00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:53,810
So let's get started and
meet our panel of experts.
41
00:01:53,878 --> 00:01:55,512
Now, in the opinion of our show,
42
00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:58,248
If you are, been, just got,
or are getting out of marriage,
43
00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,016
We consider you an expert.
44
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:03,019
Our first guest is a
movie star, tv star,
45
00:02:03,087 --> 00:02:05,155
And our idea of a cool, sharp guy,
46
00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:06,590
Alec baldwin!
47
00:02:13,197 --> 00:02:17,367
Our next guest you all know from
live with regis and kelly.
48
00:02:17,435 --> 00:02:20,404
You want eye candy that's also smart,
funny, and talented?
49
00:02:20,471 --> 00:02:21,905
You got it. Kelly ripa!
50
00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:31,782
And finally,
51
00:02:31,849 --> 00:02:34,851
He's tanned, he's rested,
he's ready.
52
00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,420
Jerry seinfeld.
53
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:44,161
- Hi.
- Hi.
54
00:02:44,228 --> 00:02:46,396
This is great.
55
00:02:46,464 --> 00:02:48,565
Okay. So the way this works.
56
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:49,833
Is we watch each couple,
57
00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:51,301
I discuss the issue with the panel,
58
00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:54,204
They try and sway me in favor
of the husband or the wife,
59
00:02:54,272 --> 00:02:55,672
And then I make the call.
60
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:58,942
Is this a perfect system?
Not even close.
61
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:01,211
But at least the argument's over.
62
00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:03,313
And someone wins a prize.
63
00:03:03,381 --> 00:03:04,681
Our first stop tonight...
64
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:07,984
Let's climb aboard the
iconic long island railroad.
65
00:03:08,052 --> 00:03:10,053
And rumble out to the rustic hamlet.
66
00:03:10,121 --> 00:03:13,356
Of center moriches,
new york to meet the rodolphes,
67
00:03:13,424 --> 00:03:16,426
Whose pet is presenting
somewhat of a stiff challenge.
68
00:03:16,494 --> 00:03:17,828
To their relationship.
69
00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:25,235
From day one,
it was love at first sight,
70
00:03:25,303 --> 00:03:28,238
As far as I could see,
and I think she agrees.
71
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:34,110
♪ ♪
72
00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:36,213
Every day's an
adventure with kevin.
73
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,549
I think that that's what
really attracts me to him.
74
00:03:44,255 --> 00:03:46,857
I had him 14 years, this guy.
75
00:03:46,924 --> 00:03:51,027
He was a great dog.
He was like my best friend.
76
00:03:51,095 --> 00:03:52,462
The day that fonzie died.
77
00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:55,165
Was pretty much one of
the best days of my life.
78
00:03:57,568 --> 00:04:00,971
At fonzie's passing,
I didn't cry at all.
79
00:04:01,038 --> 00:04:04,708
Because, uh...'cause I
knew I was gonna do this.
80
00:04:07,478 --> 00:04:10,046
♪ ♪
81
00:04:10,114 --> 00:04:12,182
Oh!
82
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,517
take a look at him.
83
00:04:13,584 --> 00:04:15,285
Oh, my god.
84
00:04:15,353 --> 00:04:16,686
Oh, my gosh.
85
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:19,890
Oh...My...God.
86
00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:22,759
Look at this guy. Can I touch him?
87
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,561
Sure. Go right ahead.
88
00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:27,797
This is my guy, man.
89
00:04:27,865 --> 00:04:30,233
I-I-I really... I really...
90
00:04:30,301 --> 00:04:31,935
I really... I-I can't. I can't.
91
00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:34,037
I can't. I can't.
92
00:04:34,105 --> 00:04:36,039
I cannot... I cannot...
93
00:04:36,107 --> 00:04:38,041
Cannot have this...
Would you relax?
94
00:04:38,109 --> 00:04:39,476
I mean, calm down here.
In my house.
95
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,211
- Calm down.
- Oh, my god, I can't!
96
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,214
Oh, m... oh...
97
00:04:44,282 --> 00:04:45,515
Just gonna make me
happy to see him.
98
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:47,717
Next time you see him,
you can take him with you.
99
00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:49,286
He's gonna be ready to go home.
100
00:04:49,353 --> 00:04:50,554
Yay.
101
00:04:50,621 --> 00:04:53,657
Other people, they have
animals for 14, 15 years,
102
00:04:53,724 --> 00:04:55,458
The animal passes away,
the animal gets buried.
103
00:04:55,526 --> 00:04:56,927
Yeah, but he was a special dog.
104
00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:59,329
Everybody thinks
their dog is special.
105
00:04:59,397 --> 00:05:02,365
- Yeah, but he's-
- this dog is a special dog.
106
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:03,567
All right?
107
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,235
You should really
respect my thoughts.
108
00:05:05,303 --> 00:05:06,736
A little bit, I think.
109
00:05:06,804 --> 00:05:08,071
I will. I will respect them.
110
00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:09,172
You're gonna respect them,
111
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,575
But you're not going to change...
112
00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:13,476
- I'll respect your thoughts.
- What you're doing.
113
00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:15,378
This is my dream come true.
114
00:05:15,446 --> 00:05:18,982
That's... that's maybe where
the difference is, you know?
115
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:22,352
This is my dream,
but it's your nightmare.
116
00:05:24,522 --> 00:05:27,691
It's the opposite.
117
00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,659
This is very important for
me to have this guy stuffed.
118
00:05:29,727 --> 00:05:32,696
I built a nice shrine for him,
and I'll talk to him every day.
119
00:05:32,763 --> 00:05:34,931
I want him to feel like...
Like it's a homecoming.
120
00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:36,499
He doesn't have feelings.
121
00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:38,001
His spirit.
122
00:05:38,069 --> 00:05:41,471
His spirit and him will
just connect right here.
123
00:05:41,539 --> 00:05:43,573
It's gonna be good.
124
00:05:43,641 --> 00:05:44,975
- But, babe...
- You know...
125
00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,977
- He's not...Going...
- It's all in connection.
126
00:05:47,044 --> 00:05:48,345
Here.
127
00:05:48,412 --> 00:05:50,213
You know, in two weeks' time,
128
00:05:50,281 --> 00:05:52,248
You're just gonna-
it's just gonna be like...
129
00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:53,984
Still a dead dog.
130
00:06:01,025 --> 00:06:02,659
So the issue here.
131
00:06:02,727 --> 00:06:05,261
Is should kevin be allowed to
keep his dog around the house.
132
00:06:05,329 --> 00:06:07,998
Even though it's stuffed and dead?
133
00:06:08,065 --> 00:06:10,634
Panel, what do you think?
134
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:12,035
In the words of danielle,
135
00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:16,473
I would just like to say,
I cannot...I cannot...
136
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:17,974
I cannot...
137
00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:20,010
I cannot...Cannot...
138
00:06:20,077 --> 00:06:22,979
Can't-annot fathom.
139
00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:25,715
Why that would make
him feel better.
140
00:06:25,783 --> 00:06:26,883
Right.
141
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,551
I think if you're
gonna stuff your dog,
142
00:06:28,619 --> 00:06:34,157
You should stuff it in either a
useful or attractive position.
143
00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:37,794
Like it's attacking.
144
00:06:37,862 --> 00:06:39,596
Not in a lump.
145
00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:41,097
Not in a dead position.
146
00:06:41,165 --> 00:06:42,899
Not in like a lump where
it's like a doorstop,
147
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,668
You know what I mean?
148
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:47,170
It was an unattractive
stuffing of the dog, I thought.
149
00:06:47,238 --> 00:06:48,171
Don't you?
150
00:06:48,239 --> 00:06:50,206
An unattractive stuffing. Yes.
151
00:06:50,274 --> 00:06:52,008
Well, he's sleeping peacefully.
152
00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:54,444
You know, people like to
get into that middle realm.
153
00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:57,080
Maybe he's not really dead,
he's sleeping.
154
00:06:57,148 --> 00:06:59,382
You know, it's a dead sleep.
155
00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,584
He's okay. He's okay.
156
00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,319
I have to agree with alec, though.
157
00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:04,888
I think they stuffed
him the way he died.
158
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,356
I mean, it doesn't
look like he died...
159
00:07:06,424 --> 00:07:07,757
It wasn't like he died valiantly.
160
00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:09,025
I think he cut corners.
161
00:07:09,093 --> 00:07:11,094
He tried to save money on
the stuffing, actually.
162
00:07:11,162 --> 00:07:12,796
'cause this is more money.
163
00:07:12,863 --> 00:07:14,230
If he'd gone for a big...
164
00:07:14,298 --> 00:07:15,832
Well, look at the pedestal.
165
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,568
The pedestal is a little,
uh, basic, isn't it?
166
00:07:18,636 --> 00:07:20,870
It's like a hospital bed.
167
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,973
It's like a textbook
with a paper over it.
168
00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:26,042
Can I see her reaction when
she first walks in there?
169
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:27,811
Yeah.
170
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:30,980
I-I can't. I can't.
I can't. I can't.
171
00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:32,982
I cannot... I cannot...
172
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:35,251
Cannot...
173
00:07:40,958 --> 00:07:42,559
What I want to know is
if this is something.
174
00:07:42,626 --> 00:07:44,861
That's done a lot.
175
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,362
Whenever I need facts,
176
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:48,131
I go to our very own
just the facts ma'am,
177
00:07:48,199 --> 00:07:51,634
From nbc news, the lovely
natalie morales, everyone.
178
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,941
Hi, natalie. - Hello, tom.
179
00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,109
Can you give me some idea.
180
00:07:59,176 --> 00:08:01,144
Of how many people are
stuffing their pets?
181
00:08:01,212 --> 00:08:02,879
Well, last year in
the United States,
182
00:08:02,947 --> 00:08:06,015
Roughly 1,000 people
stuffed their pets.
183
00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:07,317
You know, for kevin's sake,
184
00:08:07,384 --> 00:08:10,520
I was hoping that number
would be a little higher.
185
00:08:10,588 --> 00:08:12,388
Anything that just a
thousand people is doing,
186
00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:14,257
That... that's crazy.
187
00:08:14,325 --> 00:08:16,993
That's serial killer numbers.
188
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,328
Go ahead, alec.
189
00:08:18,395 --> 00:08:20,730
Women come and go,
but a stuffed dog is forever.
190
00:08:20,798 --> 00:08:22,599
You know what I mean?
191
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:26,102
That may be where he's coming from.
192
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:28,505
It's kind of upsetting if
he gets a new dog, too.
193
00:08:28,572 --> 00:08:30,406
If he loves dogs so much,
then a new dog walks in.
194
00:08:30,474 --> 00:08:32,475
And he's like, "oh,
it's so good to be here...
195
00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:35,845
Who the hell is that?"
196
00:08:35,913 --> 00:08:37,247
You're right.
197
00:08:37,314 --> 00:08:39,916
And when are you
gonna do that to me?
198
00:08:39,984 --> 00:08:41,217
By the time he's 65,
199
00:08:41,285 --> 00:08:44,487
It's the madame tussauds
of dogs in this house.
200
00:08:44,555 --> 00:08:45,588
Come on, now.
201
00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:46,923
And she's gotta be thinking,
202
00:08:46,991 --> 00:08:49,826
"what will happen to me when I go?"
203
00:08:49,894 --> 00:08:51,594
I mean, he obviously
really deeply, deeply.
204
00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:52,929
Loves this dog.
205
00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:54,264
I know, but...
206
00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:56,266
You know.
207
00:08:57,768 --> 00:08:58,802
There's a lot of dogs.
208
00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:02,305
- I love my florist.
- Yeah.
209
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:03,773
All right.
No, no, I think something.
210
00:09:03,841 --> 00:09:05,108
May have slipped by you.
211
00:09:05,176 --> 00:09:07,010
Can you bring up the attic, please?
212
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:08,411
I want you to take a look at this.
213
00:09:08,479 --> 00:09:12,081
Obviously, he wanted to be a boxer.
214
00:09:12,149 --> 00:09:13,883
- Yep.
- That didn't pan out.
215
00:09:13,951 --> 00:09:16,452
Right?
216
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,822
He tried being in a band.
217
00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:20,757
That didn't work.
218
00:09:20,825 --> 00:09:22,659
He even got into painting.
219
00:09:22,726 --> 00:09:25,728
Couldn't even find
canvas to paint on.
220
00:09:25,796 --> 00:09:26,863
That fails.
221
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:29,165
So here he is, sitting on the floor.
222
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:33,269
Of his open-air attic
of broken dreams.
223
00:09:33,337 --> 00:09:35,171
But...
224
00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:36,739
Through all of these
disappointments,
225
00:09:36,807 --> 00:09:38,308
Who stood by him?
226
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,610
Who was there the entire way?
227
00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:44,080
Who was his rock?
Who is now as hard as a rock.
228
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,049
Yeah.
229
00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:48,651
The fonz.
230
00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:51,221
I'm curious why she... She...
231
00:09:51,288 --> 00:09:53,156
She could say that that's
the best day of her life.
232
00:09:53,224 --> 00:09:55,225
That her husband's dog died.
233
00:09:55,292 --> 00:09:56,693
That seems a little...
234
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,728
Because she killed that dog.
235
00:09:58,796 --> 00:10:00,463
Do we have any more
fun facts on them?
236
00:10:00,531 --> 00:10:01,931
Do we have anything
that tells us that?
237
00:10:01,999 --> 00:10:03,967
The fonz, apparently,
was a little bit of a menace.
238
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:06,703
He chewed holes in furniture,
ruined eight couches,
239
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:09,639
Their water bed,
and peed on friends.
240
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:15,545
Well, who doesn't pee
on their friends?
241
00:10:15,613 --> 00:10:17,780
I don't pee on my friends.
242
00:10:17,848 --> 00:10:19,983
I don't do that.
243
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:27,991
Okay, well, bottom line,
244
00:10:28,058 --> 00:10:30,360
Who do you think I
should go for? Jerry?
245
00:10:30,427 --> 00:10:33,162
Un, it's... it's gross, and he...
246
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:37,367
That top one there where
you see the display...
247
00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,903
That's the most disturbing.
248
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,504
Because you know there's
gonna be a night.
249
00:10:41,572 --> 00:10:43,273
That he's gonna come home,
250
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:45,742
You know, maybe he's had a few.
251
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:47,143
And...You know...
252
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,279
- Things happen.
- And what?
253
00:10:49,346 --> 00:10:51,247
He's gonna start
talking to the dog.
254
00:10:51,315 --> 00:10:52,782
She's gonna hear him
talking to the dog.
255
00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,450
In the hallway or something.
256
00:10:54,518 --> 00:10:56,519
She overhears him like,
"come on, boy,
257
00:10:56,587 --> 00:10:58,288
"one more time.
258
00:10:58,355 --> 00:11:01,157
"come on! Daddy's gonna help ya.
259
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:04,327
Oh, your tail came off."
260
00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:07,797
So husband? I'm sorry, husband?
261
00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:09,198
No, no, the wife, the wife.
262
00:11:09,266 --> 00:11:11,534
No dead dog. - No dog. Wife. Kelly?
263
00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:13,803
She happens to be completely
sane and right in this,
264
00:11:13,871 --> 00:11:16,406
And I'm gonna have to
side with danielle 100%.
265
00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:17,840
All right. Okay. Cool.
266
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,246
he loves his dawg.
267
00:11:23,314 --> 00:11:25,281
Well, in the age of the internet,
268
00:11:25,349 --> 00:11:26,950
He should be able to contact.
269
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,551
One of these other thousand people.
270
00:11:28,619 --> 00:11:30,086
That stuff their dog,
271
00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,288
And maybe they can form a
little club and get a clubhouse.
272
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:35,892
And keep the stuffed
dogs in the clubhouse.
273
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,760
And not bring it home.
274
00:11:40,297 --> 00:11:42,865
So everyone's for the wife.
275
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:44,033
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
276
00:11:44,101 --> 00:11:45,301
- I think it's unanimous.
- All right.
277
00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:46,536
I think I'm ready to make my call.
278
00:11:49,106 --> 00:11:51,140
Let's go back to center
moriches, new york,
279
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:53,643
And bring up the actual rodolphes.
280
00:11:53,711 --> 00:11:56,446
In their actual home.
281
00:11:56,513 --> 00:11:58,581
How are you? - Hi!
282
00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:03,553
Um...Is that a new... - Ugh.
283
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:05,221
The dog is behind them.
284
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,956
Is that a new position?
285
00:12:07,024 --> 00:12:08,458
Yeah, that's... that's him.
286
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:10,326
That's him. - So wait, that's...
287
00:12:10,394 --> 00:12:12,028
- Danielle...
- Ee...
288
00:12:12,096 --> 00:12:13,529
We noticed in the taped piece.
289
00:12:13,597 --> 00:12:16,499
The dog looked like he was
sleeping or still dead.
290
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:18,968
Now they've made him
look more awake?
291
00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:20,336
Yeah, he's...
292
00:12:20,404 --> 00:12:22,705
- 'cause he was frozen.
- He was still frozen. Shaddup!
293
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:24,440
He was frozen.
294
00:12:24,508 --> 00:12:26,242
Quit talkin' over me.
295
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,378
He was still frozen, all right?
296
00:12:28,445 --> 00:12:31,314
There was a little problem,
little complication,
297
00:12:31,382 --> 00:12:33,049
But, you know, he's here now,
298
00:12:33,117 --> 00:12:36,619
And he's giving her the malocchio.
299
00:12:36,687 --> 00:12:39,022
Which means the
evil eye in italian.
300
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:41,124
All right, kevin, look,
301
00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:42,892
I-I... really, I feel for you.
302
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,161
I know you love the dog. I do.
303
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:49,132
But I gotta say, you have
entered the horror movie zone.
304
00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:52,435
You've crossed the line
into wes cravenville.
305
00:12:52,503 --> 00:12:53,436
Yeah.
306
00:12:53,504 --> 00:12:55,104
You've scared danielle.
307
00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:57,273
Frankly, y-you scared me a little.
308
00:12:57,341 --> 00:13:00,910
And now you've scared a
national television audience.
309
00:13:00,978 --> 00:13:03,613
- I told you!
- I'm sorry...
310
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,883
But the dog is not going in
that creepy grotto of grief.
311
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,451
So danielle, you win.
312
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,990
Yeah, baby! Yeah, yeah.
313
00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:16,325
I knew it!
314
00:13:16,393 --> 00:13:17,527
But kevin, listen,
315
00:13:17,594 --> 00:13:19,095
I don't want you to
get rid of the fonz,
316
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:21,297
'cause I like the
fonz as well... I do.
317
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:22,832
- Thank you.
- But you've gotta keep him.
318
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,767
In the open-air unfinished attic.
319
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:27,136
Of broken dreams...
320
00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:28,805
Where danielle can't see him.
321
00:13:28,872 --> 00:13:30,073
I have an idea, kevin.
322
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,874
Maybe you could make
him into a bobblehead.
323
00:13:31,942 --> 00:13:34,544
And put him in the
back window of the car.
324
00:13:34,611 --> 00:13:36,479
Hey, you know, that's a good idea.
325
00:13:36,547 --> 00:13:40,383
I'll think about that.
326
00:13:40,451 --> 00:13:42,552
I'll have to respect your opinion.
327
00:13:42,619 --> 00:13:44,187
Thank you. - Thank you very much.
328
00:13:44,254 --> 00:13:46,122
We really love both
of you guys. - Aw!
329
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,123
Good luck to you.
330
00:13:47,191 --> 00:13:50,093
Bye, guys.
331
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,229
All right, next up we'll see
if there's any wiggle room.
332
00:13:53,297 --> 00:13:54,297
On this issue.
333
00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:55,832
We will never...
334
00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:58,000
Never... with capital letters...
335
00:13:58,068 --> 00:14:01,404
Have a stripper pole in this house.
336
00:14:14,012 --> 00:14:16,647
Next, let's paraglide
into the foothills.
337
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:18,382
Of the beautiful
blue ridge mountains.
338
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:20,985
And gently touch down
in gainesville, georgia.
339
00:14:21,053 --> 00:14:22,920
Where we check in with the hunters.
340
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,355
Greg has an idea,
341
00:14:24,423 --> 00:14:29,026
But dianah just can't seem
to wrap herself around it.
342
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:32,063
He's everything that I ever wanted.
343
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:34,165
I met dianah at a club.
344
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,533
Dancing on top of the table.
345
00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:37,802
He just came in with
the ring one day.
346
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,403
And threw it on the
bed and say, "here."
347
00:14:39,471 --> 00:14:41,305
That was his proposal.
348
00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:45,109
Who's my boo-boo?
349
00:14:50,382 --> 00:14:52,049
You can say what you want to say.
350
00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:54,352
We won't get a stripper pole-
we gonna get one put in here.
351
00:14:54,419 --> 00:14:56,187
- Let me tell you something.
- I'm gonna get one.
352
00:14:56,255 --> 00:14:57,989
I'm-a keep it in the garage,
hang it on the wall.
353
00:14:58,056 --> 00:15:00,057
Like it's a fishing pole.
354
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:03,427
If you and I was at this
house right here by ourself.
355
00:15:03,495 --> 00:15:05,229
And it's Saturday night,
356
00:15:05,297 --> 00:15:07,164
Put some rap music on,
357
00:15:07,232 --> 00:15:09,901
You'd be twirling all
around that pole.
358
00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:11,235
We will never...
359
00:15:11,303 --> 00:15:13,437
Never... with capital letters...
360
00:15:13,505 --> 00:15:17,241
Have a stripper pole in this house.
361
00:15:17,309 --> 00:15:18,576
I think it would be interesting.
362
00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,411
To see my wife dancing
on a pole for me.
363
00:15:20,479 --> 00:15:22,513
Baby, you're sexy to me.
364
00:15:22,581 --> 00:15:23,814
Let's have fun.
365
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:24,815
Look at it from my point of view.
366
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,183
Look at it from my point of view.
367
00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:28,286
I can't see it from
your point of view,
368
00:15:28,353 --> 00:15:30,488
Because you're not the one
that has to be on there.
369
00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:31,622
I do. And I'm your wife.
370
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,424
So you should respect
me as your wife...
371
00:15:33,492 --> 00:15:35,192
You should respect
me as your husband.
372
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:37,295
You should respect me as your wife.
373
00:15:37,362 --> 00:15:38,829
And say, you know what,
that's my wife's body.
374
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,865
If she don't wanna get
that stripper pole...
375
00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:43,067
- What did the preacher say?
- What?
376
00:15:43,135 --> 00:15:44,435
I'm the man of the household!
377
00:15:44,503 --> 00:15:47,305
Okay, why don't you get on there?
378
00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:50,942
No. No, a man don't get
on no stripper pole.
379
00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:52,043
All right, then. Guess what.
380
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,244
This woman don't either.
381
00:15:53,312 --> 00:15:54,912
You keep lookin' at
it as a stripper pole,
382
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:56,280
Stripper pole.
383
00:15:56,348 --> 00:15:58,015
- What is it?
- It's not a stripper pole.
384
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,552
- Yes, it is.
- It's a exercise pole.
385
00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,190
It's for both of our gratification.
386
00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,491
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
387
00:16:07,559 --> 00:16:09,427
No, it's not. What part
don't you understand?
388
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:11,495
- Why you gettin' all mad?
- Because it's all about you.
389
00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:13,864
It ain't all about me, baby.
It's about us.
390
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:14,999
- No. No.
- We are one.
391
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,434
- I'm fine.
- When I said, "I do."
392
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:18,002
- Baby, I'm fine.
- We are one.
393
00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:19,203
I'm fine.
394
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,205
Baby, this is something.
395
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:22,940
That I've always wanted.
396
00:16:23,008 --> 00:16:26,677
Guess what... people in
hell want ice water,
397
00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:30,047
But they don't get it.
398
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,625
So the issue here is
should greg be allowed.
399
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:43,594
To install a stripper
pole in the bedroom?
400
00:16:50,402 --> 00:16:52,403
Let's just begin by saying.
401
00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:53,904
That don't we all agree.
402
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,539
That greg has made the greatest.
403
00:16:55,607 --> 00:17:00,645
Pro-stripper pole argument
in male/female history?
404
00:17:00,712 --> 00:17:02,980
Let's give him that.
405
00:17:03,048 --> 00:17:06,484
I love her reaction when he
went into his argument, though.
406
00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:07,585
Can you show me that, please?
407
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:09,520
What is it? What is it?
408
00:17:09,588 --> 00:17:12,423
What is it?
409
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:13,958
I love her. I love her too.
410
00:17:14,026 --> 00:17:15,593
I love that lady.
I love this couple.
411
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,328
It's in the interest
of romance, right?
412
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:19,563
- Yeah.
- So what's so wrong with it?
413
00:17:19,631 --> 00:17:20,998
He led with "it's a stripper pole,
414
00:17:21,066 --> 00:17:22,299
"I'll keep it in the garage.
415
00:17:22,367 --> 00:17:23,934
People'll think it's
a fishing pole."
416
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,937
And that, to me,
doesn't say romance.
417
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,306
That, to me, doesn't say,
"let's get it on."
418
00:17:29,374 --> 00:17:32,043
That says, "let's go fishing.
" - right.
419
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,679
That's great, kelly. Um...
420
00:17:38,550 --> 00:17:41,452
I think we're wasting a lot
of valuable network time.
421
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,653
I know how I'm voting.
422
00:17:42,721 --> 00:17:45,589
Would you like to move to the vote?
423
00:17:45,657 --> 00:17:48,559
Natalie, could this,
in any remote way,
424
00:17:48,627 --> 00:17:50,227
Be considered exercise?
425
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:52,263
Well, actually, pole
dancing classes have become.
426
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,564
Very popular as exercise.
427
00:17:53,632 --> 00:17:55,199
And the information that I found.
428
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:59,303
Says that pole dancing can burn
up to 250 calories an hour.
429
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,605
It claims that it can
increase flexibility,
430
00:18:01,673 --> 00:18:04,909
Improves "body awareness"
and strengthens muscles.
431
00:18:04,976 --> 00:18:08,412
And what about for the woman?
432
00:18:13,585 --> 00:18:16,287
Listen, I think she can
get freaky deaky with him.
433
00:18:16,354 --> 00:18:18,856
I think they would have fun
and she might enjoy that pole.
434
00:18:18,924 --> 00:18:20,357
I know, but let's... okay.
435
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:24,495
I think kelly just told us
something about herself.
436
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:25,996
Freaky deaky.
437
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,765
I'm just imagining.
438
00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:29,233
That, okay,
she goes along with it...
439
00:18:29,301 --> 00:18:30,434
Yeah.
440
00:18:30,502 --> 00:18:31,969
And they set up the music,
the lights,
441
00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:34,071
She gets an outfit,
she gets a routine together.
442
00:18:34,139 --> 00:18:36,307
- A routine.
- She's a director.
443
00:18:36,374 --> 00:18:38,409
Yeah. She does the routine.
444
00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:41,278
It's still one guy
in the dark clapping.
445
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:44,181
It's...You know.
446
00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:49,120
Then he'll start complaining after the-
like the third show.
447
00:18:49,187 --> 00:18:51,021
"I thought you were gonna
come up with something new."
448
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,289
Yeah.
449
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:55,092
Boo!
450
00:18:58,196 --> 00:19:00,598
Do you have any more
fun facts about this?
451
00:19:00,665 --> 00:19:02,399
You know, for his part,
452
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,268
Greg has given her about 50 thongs,
453
00:19:04,336 --> 00:19:06,537
About $500 worth of lingerie.
454
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:09,607
So he's obviously trying to
spice it up a little bit.
455
00:19:09,674 --> 00:19:11,542
That's a lot.
He's making an effort.
456
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:15,112
Why would you go over 30 thongs?
457
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,647
Maybe this one, maybe this one,
maybe this one,
458
00:19:16,715 --> 00:19:18,382
Maybe this one, maybe this one,
maybe this one.
459
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:23,087
All right, here we go.
Alec, husband or the wife?
460
00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:25,656
I'm a sensitive man...
461
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:28,459
I'm a contemporary man.
462
00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:32,229
I'm a man who understands
the needs of women.
463
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,431
So I'm going to vote for the wife,
464
00:19:34,499 --> 00:19:36,233
Because putting the
pole in the room...
465
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,502
If she doesn't wanna do it-
is ridiculous!
466
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,237
Ah! Surprise, surprise.
467
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:44,141
- She doesn't wanna do it.
- Very good.
468
00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:46,644
Booooooooop!
469
00:19:51,683 --> 00:19:53,651
Kelly, what do you think?
470
00:19:53,718 --> 00:19:56,153
I do think that she needs
to hear what he's saying.
471
00:19:56,221 --> 00:19:59,156
He wants more, maybe, affection.
472
00:19:59,224 --> 00:20:01,392
He wants a show.
473
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,594
I'm having a very
hard time with this.
474
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,462
I'm gonna... I'm gonna have to side.
475
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,731
With the wife, although I do think.
476
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,767
That they could have a
good time on that pole.
477
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:12,970
All right, jerry?
478
00:20:13,038 --> 00:20:15,306
I feel, in marriage,
479
00:20:15,373 --> 00:20:19,276
Whatever maintains intimacy,
excitement...
480
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:22,479
All right, so we'll dress it
up with a giant rod and reel.
481
00:20:22,547 --> 00:20:24,915
In the garage.
482
00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:26,984
Okay, we'll get some huge fish.
483
00:20:27,052 --> 00:20:30,621
You know, "look at what we
caught with this pole, honey."
484
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,189
- Okay.
- Right?
485
00:20:32,257 --> 00:20:33,224
Husband?
486
00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:34,425
I'm going with the husband.
487
00:20:34,492 --> 00:20:36,627
Okay, now I'm ready
to make the call.
488
00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,296
Let's go to gainesville, georgia.
489
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,731
And bring up the actual hunters.
490
00:20:40,799 --> 00:20:42,933
In their real-life home.
491
00:20:46,605 --> 00:20:48,639
- How you doing?
- Hey, guys.
492
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,174
- Hi. How are you?
- Hi. How you doing?
493
00:20:50,242 --> 00:20:51,542
Good. How are you doing?
494
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:53,410
- We're good.
- Doing wonderful.
495
00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,013
Did you get any exercise today?
496
00:20:57,849 --> 00:20:59,483
You know what, I actually did,
497
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,619
But it definitely wasn't
on a stripper pole.
498
00:21:03,755 --> 00:21:05,189
Well, it's great to see you guys.
499
00:21:05,257 --> 00:21:06,457
We thank you for coming on.
500
00:21:06,524 --> 00:21:08,692
And I gotta say, I think, you know,
501
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,094
Just listening to jerry,
502
00:21:10,161 --> 00:21:12,763
I believe this kinda
stuff is all fine.
503
00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,465
Among consenting adults.
504
00:21:14,532 --> 00:21:16,133
But in this case,
505
00:21:16,201 --> 00:21:18,936
I think you need a
little more than consent.
506
00:21:19,004 --> 00:21:20,671
Because think about it,
507
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:25,809
Who wants to see a resentful,
sulking pole dancer?
508
00:21:25,877 --> 00:21:27,144
That's not good for anyone.
509
00:21:27,212 --> 00:21:29,146
Just...
510
00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,491
So I am sorry, greg,
511
00:21:40,558 --> 00:21:43,460
No stripper pole in the bedroom.
512
00:21:43,528 --> 00:21:45,229
Dianah, you win.
513
00:21:45,297 --> 00:21:46,964
That's right, that's right.
514
00:21:47,032 --> 00:21:49,900
I mean, here. I mean, here.
515
00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:51,936
Oh! Oh!
516
00:21:53,905 --> 00:21:55,205
I mean, come on.
517
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,874
No!
518
00:21:56,942 --> 00:21:58,909
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
519
00:21:58,977 --> 00:22:00,577
It don't change the
fact that we will not.
520
00:22:00,645 --> 00:22:02,446
Have a stripper pole up in here.
521
00:22:02,514 --> 00:22:04,782
- No, you will not.
- It doesn't matter.
522
00:22:04,849 --> 00:22:06,016
But you know what, on another show,
523
00:22:06,084 --> 00:22:08,152
I may come back and
tackle that thong issue.
524
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:11,055
All right, you bring it on then.
525
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:12,756
Congratulations, dianah.
526
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:15,359
Thank you.
527
00:22:17,862 --> 00:22:19,129
Now comes the point in our show.
528
00:22:19,197 --> 00:22:20,831
Where we like to spotlight
the line of the evening.
529
00:22:20,899 --> 00:22:22,566
That we thought had
just that little bit.
530
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,668
Of extra-zesty hot sauce on it.
531
00:22:24,736 --> 00:22:28,038
Please welcome our announcer
and legendary sportscaster,
532
00:22:28,106 --> 00:22:30,374
Marv albert.
533
00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:34,912
Hey, it's time for the
barbasol shot of the day,
534
00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:37,314
Brought to you by barbasol.
535
00:22:37,382 --> 00:22:39,450
Yeah, we still make it.
536
00:22:39,517 --> 00:22:41,785
First up, this
knee-buckling right cross.
537
00:22:41,853 --> 00:22:43,520
From dianah hunter.
538
00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:50,894
And tonight's winner,
danielle rodolphe.
539
00:22:50,962 --> 00:22:53,597
With this gleeful overhand haymaker.
540
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:54,965
To the chin.
541
00:23:00,071 --> 00:23:02,206
And he's down. Get the stretcher.
542
00:23:02,273 --> 00:23:04,808
This bout is over.
543
00:23:04,876 --> 00:23:06,310
Tommy. - Thanks, marv.
544
00:23:06,378 --> 00:23:07,778
For being such great sports,
545
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:09,513
All our couples tonight
will be swept away.
546
00:23:09,581 --> 00:23:11,315
On a romantic second honeymoon,
547
00:23:11,383 --> 00:23:14,318
Furnished by royal
caribbean international.
548
00:23:14,386 --> 00:23:15,652
What?
549
00:23:20,091 --> 00:23:21,325
Oh.
550
00:23:21,393 --> 00:23:23,127
Mwah. That's awesome!
551
00:23:24,562 --> 00:23:28,365
And now, here is a little sample.
552
00:23:28,433 --> 00:23:30,467
Of what we have
coming up this season
553
00:23:30,535 --> 00:23:32,569
On the marriage ref.
554
00:23:33,638 --> 00:23:34,805
Starting this Thursday,
555
00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:36,340
The marriage ref moves
to its new home,
556
00:23:36,408 --> 00:23:37,508
10:00, 9:00 central.
557
00:23:37,575 --> 00:23:38,609
You ready to go?
558
00:23:38,676 --> 00:23:39,743
♪ a love you want... ♪.
559
00:23:39,811 --> 00:23:41,178
Each week brings a
new celebrity panel.
560
00:23:41,246 --> 00:23:42,179
What?
561
00:23:42,247 --> 00:23:44,381
With stars like...
562
00:23:47,786 --> 00:23:49,319
It's a recipe for disaster.
563
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:52,723
And now your marriage
is in their hands.
564
00:23:52,791 --> 00:23:54,958
This is the dream team for therapy.
565
00:23:55,026 --> 00:23:56,727
What if your husband said,
"I like a bald woman"?
566
00:23:56,795 --> 00:23:58,295
Bald where?
567
00:23:58,363 --> 00:24:00,564
- Oh!
- Good night, everybody!
568
00:24:00,632 --> 00:24:02,199
Pets have become the new mistress.
569
00:24:02,267 --> 00:24:04,268
That cat is his mistress.
570
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:06,637
You insist on having
a dead man's leg.
571
00:24:06,704 --> 00:24:08,872
She's got her husband's
old prosthetic leg!
572
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,575
This is the weirdest
show I've ever been on.
573
00:24:11,643 --> 00:24:13,510
If you just give
them the schnookie,
574
00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:15,012
They shut up and do what you want.
575
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,514
This is easily the
most uncomfortable hour
576
00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:18,782
I've ever spent in my life.
577
00:24:18,850 --> 00:24:20,417
Why? 'cause you're
sitting next to a woman.
578
00:24:20,485 --> 00:24:22,352
Who's standing up to you?
579
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:32,000
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com