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00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,837
Previously on "Gravity"...
2
00:00:01,838 --> 00:00:02,854
- He's here!
- Just ignore them.
3
00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:05,988
- I want to open my own vintage
store. - I think it's a great idea.
4
00:00:06,056 --> 00:00:07,090
Lots of love.
5
00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,625
I need to know
what's going on, Lily.
6
00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:11,260
- Am I required to be talking
to you? - Mind if I look around?
7
00:00:11,328 --> 00:00:12,361
Have a party.
8
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,829
- Oh, are you an artist?
- Give it!
9
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,331
- Tell me who it is.
- It's my boyfriend in heaven
10
00:00:15,399 --> 00:00:16,999
who I made love to
when I flatlined.
11
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:18,901
Okay, but no coffee.
Just come up.
12
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,440
I'm so getting
laid tonight.
13
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:49,598
I love you pulling my hair,
baby, but use both hands.
15
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:53,135
Stick it in.
Stop fingering me.
16
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,181
Hey, okay, get...
Get on your back.
17
00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,283
Okay, ready?
18
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:08,818
Can you feel it?
Isn't it in?
19
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:10,152
It is, right?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
20
00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:17,293
Come on!
21
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,461
I'm sorry, Jorge.
I really like you.
22
00:01:19,529 --> 00:01:24,066
You're a great guy,
but I have to feel something.
23
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,802
Your dick is just too small.
24
00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:29,738
I can't see
you anymore.
25
00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:31,707
Wait.
26
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:44,186
Clear on Avenue A, Jimmy?
27
00:01:44,254 --> 00:01:46,822
Goose, 3rd street...
you clear?
28
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,158
Avenue B...
you clear, Ralphie?
29
00:01:49,226 --> 00:01:50,626
It's ready to go.
30
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:55,564
Everyone clear
from the building!
31
00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:12,448
Three, two, one.
32
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,324
Bullshit.
33
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,994
The building completely
exploded with you in it,
34
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,128
And you didn't die?
35
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:28,831
God wasn't ready
to take him.
36
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,966
Amen.
Amen.
37
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,302
I don't mean
to be, indelicate,
38
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,838
And I mean this
as a compliment.
39
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,540
You might have
body dysmorphia,
40
00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:41,644
Because you look... you look
fairly well off there.
41
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:43,646
Oh, this?
42
00:02:45,115 --> 00:02:47,483
Oh, no, this is fake.
43
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:49,985
No, Jorge. Jorge.
44
00:02:50,053 --> 00:02:52,855
Jor... Jorge, stop.
Put that away. Jorge, stop!
45
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:57,226
Stop now, put that away,
and zip up your pants.
46
00:02:57,294 --> 00:03:00,796
No, no, no, no. My... my real
dick is way smaller, see?
47
00:03:00,864 --> 00:03:02,798
Wait, stop! Jorge, stop!
48
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,233
Sorry.
49
00:03:05,035 --> 00:03:06,335
Zip up your pants.
Okay.
50
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,170
Fake-dick-having
motherfucker.
51
00:03:08,238 --> 00:03:11,373
I don't want to monopolize the
group with my comic stylings.
52
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,310
But if you want, you can see them
tonight. What... what do you mean?
53
00:03:14,377 --> 00:03:19,181
Ever since I was little,
I always wanted to be a comic.
54
00:03:19,249 --> 00:03:21,283
There you go.
Pass those down.
55
00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:23,886
See, but, my father...
56
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:27,890
He was in construction, right,
so I didn't have a choice.
57
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,526
Dogg says...
58
00:03:30,593 --> 00:03:34,530
We need to change
who we were, right?
59
00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:37,533
This is me changing.
How do you like that?
60
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,536
So, you're doing this
not because I said so
61
00:03:40,603 --> 00:03:42,237
But because
you really want to?
62
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:46,075
Exactly, Dogg.
Exactly.
63
00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:55,184
Saving up for what
you want to study, or...
64
00:03:55,251 --> 00:03:57,853
You know, I never
generate anything like...
65
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,054
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
66
00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,056
Is everything okay?
67
00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:03,826
Yeah.
68
00:04:03,893 --> 00:04:06,095
So, who was
that guy last night?
69
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,097
Nobody. He's just a friend.
70
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,165
And we just hung out.
71
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,600
He's just a friend?
72
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,235
It's really not
that interesting.
73
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:15,704
Well, 'cause I was...
I love your look.
74
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,272
Thank you.
75
00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:23,545
People usually are afraid
to...Tell me the truth.
76
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:28,984
Thanks for telling me
my life was too safe.
77
00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:32,388
It's changed everything...
For the better.
78
00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,157
Anytime.
79
00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:37,259
How are you?
80
00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:41,830
I'm going to open my own
vintage-clothing store.
81
00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:45,334
I have this idea to redesign
vintage with new fabrics.
82
00:04:45,402 --> 00:04:46,535
Serious?
Yeah.
83
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:48,337
Well, I'm a seamstress,
84
00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:51,206
So if you ever need any help,
just let me know.
85
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,074
Okay.
86
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,099
Oh, come on, you fucking...
87
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:31,580
Sports.
What's your number?
88
00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:33,549
Yeah, cm1322.
89
00:05:33,616 --> 00:05:34,917
Listen, I know my
account's out of money,
90
00:05:34,984 --> 00:05:36,351
But just give me
100 bucks on the mets,
91
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,853
And I'll give you a grand
on Friday either way.
92
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,488
I wish I could
help you out, sir,
93
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,056
But unless you have
funds in your account,
94
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:42,157
We can't place a wager.
95
00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,425
Come on!
Just look at my account.
96
00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:45,327
I've been betting with
you for 10 years.
97
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:46,762
Where am I gonna go? It's 100
bucks. I'm really sorry, sir.
98
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,896
Hold on, hold on!
99
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,398
Miller.
100
00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:51,266
Mr. Miller, it's card
services. Hold on.
101
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,168
Listen, are you really trying
to tell me that you're not
102
00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:54,670
Gonna put a fucking measly
$100 bet for me on the mets?
103
00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:55,938
Maybe I should take
my action elsewhere.
104
00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:57,873
That would be
up to you, sir.
105
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,441
You have enough to gamble with
but not to pay your debts?
106
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,410
Look, stop calling me,
okay? Stop calling me. Sir.
107
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,946
I only want to go through the mail
from now on. Only write me letters.
108
00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:06,582
Calls will continue until you make payment
arrangements. I have other callers here.
109
00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:08,016
Well, guess what.
That's illegal, okay?
110
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,685
If I tell you to only go
through the mail,
111
00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,520
Then you must only go through
the mail, or it's illegal.
112
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,288
Excuse me, sir. You need
to put it in writing.
113
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:15,524
What do you want to do, sir? I
have other callers. Mr. Miller.
114
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,925
Okay.
Okay, fuck you, okay?
115
00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:18,360
Fuck you. You feel that?
Fuck you. Feel that?
116
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:21,396
Fucking, fucking, fucking,
fucking, fucking.
117
00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:40,048
Fucking retard.
118
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,499
Ophthalmologist.
119
00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:19,588
Hey, buddy, it's Matt.
120
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,623
We're really looking forward
to dinner.
121
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,659
Chez jacqueline at 8:00.
Later.
122
00:07:29,832 --> 00:07:32,067
All right, during our 10-minute
date last night,
123
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:34,636
What's the one thing you said
you wanted most and didn't have?
124
00:07:35,638 --> 00:07:38,073
Lil' kim's ass?
125
00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:40,142
All right, open 'em.
126
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,644
Cousin's place, so you're gonna
get it for a sick price.
127
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,084
Go in!
128
00:07:51,754 --> 00:07:54,489
Dr. Collingsworth,
you have a walk-in.
129
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,258
Do you want to see him?
Sure, Rhonda. Send him in.
130
00:07:57,994 --> 00:08:00,095
Mr. Miller,
the doctor will see you now.
131
00:08:02,165 --> 00:08:04,633
Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Collingsworth.
132
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,034
Christian Miller.
Just call me "Miller."
133
00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:07,769
Okay, Miller.
Please have a seat.
134
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:09,671
Thank you.
135
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,107
You know, you look
familiar to me, Miller.
136
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:13,275
Have we met before?
137
00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:14,343
No.
138
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,345
Well, I investigated
139
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,180
Lily champagne's
suicide attempt,
140
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,048
And I check up on her from time
to time outside that church
141
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,783
Where you guys have your...
your meetings,
142
00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,819
So it's possible
that you saw me there.
143
00:08:23,886 --> 00:08:25,854
So, you're a cop.
Detective, yeah.
144
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,289
Am I being
investigated again?
145
00:08:27,357 --> 00:08:28,390
'cause I thought that
was all finished with
146
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:29,858
As long as
I went to the group.
147
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,526
No, no, no, no.
You're totally fine.
148
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,296
This is just a social call.
Well, not... not social.
149
00:08:34,364 --> 00:08:36,698
See, I was...
I was looking into Lily's case,
150
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,635
And I couldn't help but stumble
upon your whole cliff, car,
151
00:08:39,702 --> 00:08:41,903
You know, youtube video
suicide-dummy thing.
152
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,805
I mean, you're
kind of the most...
153
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:45,641
Famous suicide fuck-up
in history.
154
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,809
Thank you. I say that
with all due respect.
155
00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:49,511
I mean, you're
a sweet child of God,
156
00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:51,346
And I'm really glad you're
getting your life back together.
157
00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:52,714
And you're clearly
a very celebrated
158
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,682
And highly recommended
ophthalmologist,
159
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,217
Which is why I came here.
160
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,253
See... I'm concerned that
I may have a brain tumor,
161
00:08:58,321 --> 00:08:59,855
Because a couple years ago,
162
00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:01,590
My vision just started getting
163
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,392
A little blurry
around the edges.
164
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,994
It would only happen after yoga,
like, on the subway platform.
165
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:08,263
I would look down, and just
things down the platform
166
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:09,765
Were a little out of focus.
167
00:09:09,832 --> 00:09:11,566
I thought it was maybe
because I just started
168
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,002
Becoming a vegan at that point,
so it was a dietary thing.
169
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,537
But now it's...
it's everything.
170
00:09:15,605 --> 00:09:17,039
How old are you?
38.
171
00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:19,675
Well, that is
when it starts to happen.
172
00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,043
That's when what happens,
173
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,010
My youth and manner
walk out the door?
174
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,045
No, no!
175
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:24,546
It's nothing that drastic.
176
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:26,515
Your eyes start going,
and you need reading glasses.
177
00:09:26,582 --> 00:09:27,683
No, no, no!
178
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,084
You don't understand.
179
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,519
I have perfect eyesight
my entire life.
180
00:09:30,586 --> 00:09:32,754
Okay, well,
let's check you out.
181
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,527
Tilt your head back,
please.
182
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,599
Now please keep your eyes closed
for just a few minutes.
183
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,035
I will be right back
in just a few seconds.
184
00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:48,570
So I just sit here like this
till you come back?
185
00:09:48,638 --> 00:09:49,604
That's right.
Rhonda!
186
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,268
Okay, I'm just gonna need
187
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:22,471
A little bit of information
from you.
188
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,640
I'm really sorry
about your wife.
189
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:29,678
How did you know
about my wife?
190
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:33,415
You're a public figure now,
remember?
191
00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:36,151
Yeah. I'm trying to forget.
192
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,388
Must have been awful.
I'm... I'm really sorry.
193
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:44,860
Thank you.
194
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:46,695
So, you getting
to know Lily at all or...
195
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,765
Yeah.
Oh, she's so great.
196
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:52,167
Date of birth, please.
197
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,702
1/22/72.
198
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,938
I'm speechless.
199
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,807
What does
"Lily's storeyaa" mean?
200
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,108
No, no, no.
201
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:04,780
It's "Lily's store, yay."
202
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,484
I hate that.
I don't "yay."
203
00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:12,287
I once broke up with a guy
because he "yay'd."
204
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:15,190
Come on!
Lily's store, yay!
205
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,024
Never.
206
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,025
Really?
207
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:17,959
Come on.
208
00:11:31,808 --> 00:11:33,141
Just a mate.
209
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:36,178
Well...
210
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:37,746
Would you like
to come with me
211
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:39,414
To this comedy thing
tonight?
212
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:41,716
Yeah.
213
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,851
Yeah, I'll...
214
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,352
I'll, call you later.
215
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,655
Okay.
216
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,726
Sorry.
217
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,562
I'll call...
I'll call you later.
218
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:01,436
Okay, now, your eyesight
will be a little blurry
219
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,205
Because the drops
have dilated your pupils,
220
00:12:03,272 --> 00:12:05,207
But don't worry.
That'll wear off in a few hours.
221
00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:06,241
Open your eyes, please.
222
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,945
Wow, that sucks.
223
00:12:10,012 --> 00:12:11,580
All right. Okay.
224
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,349
Now, I want you to tell me
which set of letters is clearer.
225
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:17,185
First...Or second?
226
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,086
First.
227
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:25,427
First... Or second?
228
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,428
Second.
229
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,032
First...Second?
230
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,000
First.
231
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,465
Mine.
232
00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:15,877
Okay.
233
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,413
What's this?
234
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:19,581
That's a prescription.
235
00:13:19,649 --> 00:13:20,982
What, I need pills
for my condition?
236
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,317
No!
237
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,419
It's a prescription
for reading glasses,
238
00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:26,388
And you have a slight
astigmatism, as well.
239
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:29,391
All right, but...
so, you're certain
240
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,092
That it's...
it's not a brain tumor?
241
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,627
I feel 99% sure, yeah.
242
00:13:32,695 --> 00:13:34,563
Yeah, or more affectionately
known as...
243
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,965
I have a 1% chance
of having a brain tumor.
244
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,467
Okay.
245
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,004
Thanks a lot
for seeing me.
246
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,407
My pleasure. Thank you.
247
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,118
Oh, left, left, left.
248
00:13:57,186 --> 00:13:58,987
And now a right.
249
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,156
Careful.
250
00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:02,624
Rhonda, please help him.
251
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,031
Do they work?
252
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,969
I hate to admit it,
but I think they do.
253
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,203
Hi, folks. I'm murray hill.
254
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,205
Let's hear some applause.
Come on.
255
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,175
All right. Thank you.
256
00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:22,444
Well, kids, I was born
in the back seat of a cab
257
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:25,814
On 23rd street and 3rd Avenue,
hence the name Murray Hill.
258
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,984
And moments after I was born,
the cab driver asked my father,
259
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:31,486
"is it a boy or a girl?"
260
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,887
And my father said, "no."
261
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,658
Thank you. I love you.
262
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,460
Now, coming to our stage,
263
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:41,863
This young man is making
his stand-up-comedy debut.
264
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:44,733
Please put your hands together
real loud.
265
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,335
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jorge Sanchez.
266
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,138
Come on! Come on, guys.
267
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:55,410
All right. Jorge.
268
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:00,215
Buenas noches.
269
00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:06,988
I have a very...Very...
270
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:10,392
Very...Small dick.
271
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:15,730
Have you ever seen a ken doll...
272
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,532
Without the clothes on?
273
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,501
Not quite that big.
274
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,005
Thank you.
275
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,710
I have tried everything.
276
00:15:28,778 --> 00:15:32,080
I have tried enhancement pills.
Nothing seems to work.
277
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,683
But I think that
for a guy like me,
278
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,217
Enhancement pills, you know...
279
00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,020
It's kind of like putting
high heels on a midget.
280
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,690
It can really only help so much.
281
00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:45,593
Seriously,
even when I ask myself
282
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,028
If I want to jerk off,
283
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:49,664
I say, "no, thanks,
I have a headache."
284
00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:52,434
Yeah?
285
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,536
Thank you, thank you.
286
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,539
Yeah, I literally think
287
00:15:57,606 --> 00:16:01,443
That I am one cold swim away
from joining the wnba.
288
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:04,879
Right?
289
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:07,415
Oh, the light is going on.
I believe that is my time.
290
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:08,416
Thank you.
291
00:16:16,158 --> 00:16:17,826
He killed it,
ladies and gentlemen.
292
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:21,830
Jorge Sanchez.
Come on, come on!
293
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:26,501
Yay! Oh, there he is.
294
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,138
Thank you very much. It was
nice. You were so wonderful.
295
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,673
Right here, man.
296
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,275
You were actually
really, really funny, man.
297
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:36,778
Oh, and your first time?
That was amazing.
298
00:16:36,846 --> 00:16:37,846
I know, I know.
299
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,848
That was seriously brave.
300
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,516
I'm proud of you.
301
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,984
Dogg,
thank you.
302
00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:44,385
Thank you.
Thank you all very much.
303
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,155
I'm so glad you're
here. That was so good.
304
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,389
Hey, excuse me.
305
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:50,759
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
306
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,561
Oh. Yeah. Sure.
307
00:16:55,464 --> 00:16:58,666
So, was that all true what
you were saying up there?
308
00:17:00,069 --> 00:17:01,402
Sadly, yes.
309
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,204
It's okay.
310
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,406
It's sort of my thing.
311
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,510
It is?
312
00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:12,013
Let me give you my number.
313
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:14,115
Yeah, yeah, sure.
314
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:17,719
Call me.
315
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,053
Okay.
316
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,869
Hey, man, you were funny.
317
00:17:34,937 --> 00:17:36,070
Oh, yeah?
318
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,939
You think so, man?
Oh, thanks.
319
00:17:38,007 --> 00:17:39,240
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
320
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,708
Hey, listen,
321
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:43,878
I'm sorry if,
the midget thing...
322
00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:45,079
Hey, no. Hey, man.
323
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,247
Hey, funny's funny.
324
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,615
Yeah?
Yeah.
325
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,584
All right, man. Cool, man.
Thanks, man.
326
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,052
Hey, no problem.
All right.
327
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,221
Hey, yo!
328
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,856
I'm the same.
329
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,601
That doesn't count.
330
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,703
You're black.
331
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:28,556
What are you doing...
opening up a store?
332
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:29,791
How did you find me here?
333
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:30,959
You want the truth
or the lie?
334
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,160
What's the lie?
335
00:18:32,228 --> 00:18:33,461
Well...
336
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,463
You applied two days ago
over the phone
337
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,799
For a tax I.D.
For your new place of business.
338
00:18:44,139 --> 00:18:45,640
Yeah, but I used
my home address
339
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,275
Because I didn't have
a store yet.
340
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,676
That's very impressive.
341
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,511
I pegged you
as an idiot savant
342
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,147
Who, while very talented
in a lot of areas,
343
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,250
Wasn't such
a left-brain thinker.
344
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:57,518
That may be true,
but I'm not left-brain dead.
345
00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,288
So, what's the truth?
346
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,789
I'm following Diego.
347
00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:04,425
Diego or me?
348
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:06,494
Would you like the truth
or the lie?
349
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,932
You hungry?
I'm fucking famished.
350
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,835
I know a really good vegan
pizza parlor on 97th street.
351
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,003
Want to grab a slice?
352
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,804
You're vegan?
10 years.
353
00:19:16,872 --> 00:19:18,439
I haven't eaten meat
in 12 years.
354
00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:21,442
Well, that would make you
the winner, wouldn't it?
355
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:23,478
Come on. It'll be fun.
356
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:25,847
You can tell me
all about your new store.
357
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,483
Let me have one slice of that
one with the corn, please.
358
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:29,918
And you'll have...
359
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,153
I'll have that one
with the tofu on top.
360
00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:37,191
So, are you close
with your parents?
361
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,860
No.
362
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,428
Are they still alive?
363
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,463
I don't really want
to talk about them.
364
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:45,967
Okay.
What's up with you and Diego?
365
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,304
All right,
I know you're a cop,
366
00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:51,339
But you have to stop
interrogating me.
367
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,808
Can't we just talk
about normal, boring things?
368
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:56,477
Sure.
369
00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:58,379
Do you think fetishes
are weird?
370
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,515
Like guys who steal
chicks' underwear?
371
00:20:00,582 --> 00:20:02,617
Yeah,
that could be one.
372
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:04,452
Do you think it's weird?
373
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,621
I don't judge anything as long
as it doesn't hurt anybody
374
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,889
And no kids are involved.
375
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,390
Well, what about
the stealing part?
376
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,192
You're supposed to be
for upholding the law.
377
00:20:12,594 --> 00:20:14,228
I'm only concerned
with the big laws.
378
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,365
The small laws are just sort of,
you know, suggestions.
379
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:23,004
Well, my "night night cat"
panties were my favorite.
380
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:24,906
Did you have a pair
go missing?
381
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,607
If I checked right now...
382
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,377
What? On me?
383
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,345
No, please.
384
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:31,946
You'd find tighty-whities,
385
00:20:32,014 --> 00:20:34,615
Very high-end,
expensive tighty-whities.
386
00:20:34,683 --> 00:20:37,185
I'm very vanilla
in that department.
387
00:20:37,252 --> 00:20:39,287
I'm Mr., you know,
normal-normal.
388
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:43,691
Well,
this has been grand.
389
00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,059
Wait, wait, wait.
390
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:47,462
I need... I need your
advice on something.
391
00:20:47,529 --> 00:20:49,430
It's very important.
392
00:20:54,103 --> 00:20:55,103
Don't laugh.
It's... it's not funny.
393
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,537
It's very traumatic.
394
00:20:56,605 --> 00:20:57,905
I've had perfect eyesight
my whole life.
395
00:20:57,973 --> 00:21:00,441
You have to take those off.
Oh, my God!
396
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,410
Yeah, thank you. Thank you
for confirming this. My God!
397
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,312
No, I'm never wearing them
again. That's a good idea.
398
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,714
So, Jorge, this is
how it's going to work.
399
00:21:06,782 --> 00:21:10,284
I will begin by making
a small incision right here,
400
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,953
Cutting the tendons
that bring the penis erect.
401
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,723
Okay. Then we add
weights, stretching it.
402
00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,493
And this will give you an increase
in length of 1 or 2 inches,
403
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,861
But your erection
will point down.
404
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,195
Oh, that's fine.
That's fine.
405
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,764
I don't care
which way it points,
406
00:21:22,831 --> 00:21:24,932
As long as it gets hard and is
more than 2 inches, right?
407
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,969
Does this stay...
what about girth?
408
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,771
That's where
we can really improve.
409
00:21:29,838 --> 00:21:32,774
Technically, we can go
as much as 900% bigger.
410
00:21:34,443 --> 00:21:36,077
But to make it look
proportional for you,
411
00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:40,381
I would recommend...200%.
412
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:42,650
You're the size
of a pencil right now.
413
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,485
This would bring you
to a thick thumb,
414
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,220
Which is a tremendous
improvement.
415
00:21:46,288 --> 00:21:47,388
No, no. Fuck that.
416
00:21:47,456 --> 00:21:48,723
I want an elephant's
hoof, okay?
417
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:49,957
900%, please.
418
00:21:50,025 --> 00:21:51,292
But...
Okay? No.
419
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,429
As wide as regis philbin's
fake teeth are...
420
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:57,065
That's how thick I want
my fake dick to be.
421
00:21:57,132 --> 00:21:58,666
Okay? Let's go.
422
00:22:12,781 --> 00:22:14,449
That's it.
423
00:22:14,516 --> 00:22:17,218
900% is as big
as we can go legally.
424
00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,886
Then that's what I want.
425
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,495
Roberto.
426
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:28,663
Hey.
427
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,631
Now, you can't
get mad at me.
428
00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:32,133
It was Amanda's idea.
429
00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,669
We know you hate
setups, but we...
430
00:22:34,736 --> 00:22:36,237
We just want you to get back
to the Robert we once knew.
431
00:22:36,305 --> 00:22:38,306
This girl was singing
billy joel,
432
00:22:38,373 --> 00:22:41,175
"just the way you are,"
your favorite song of all time,
433
00:22:41,243 --> 00:22:43,411
Feet in the stirrups
during the exam, you know?
434
00:22:43,479 --> 00:22:45,480
I hate billy joel.
You sang it at our wedding.
435
00:22:45,547 --> 00:22:46,814
That's because
you forced me to.
436
00:22:46,882 --> 00:22:48,249
Will you just trust me?
437
00:22:48,317 --> 00:22:50,351
We will always miss
samantha,
438
00:22:50,419 --> 00:22:52,286
And I know she'll always live
deep inside our hearts,
439
00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,655
But, you know, you got to get
back in the game.
440
00:22:54,723 --> 00:22:55,690
It's been two years.
441
00:22:55,757 --> 00:22:57,358
She would want you to.
442
00:22:57,426 --> 00:22:59,527
Robert, hey!
443
00:23:01,096 --> 00:23:03,331
This is our new friend,
naomi.
444
00:23:03,398 --> 00:23:04,632
Hello.
445
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,634
Hi.
446
00:23:06,702 --> 00:23:09,837
So...I hear
we both love B.J.
447
00:23:10,772 --> 00:23:13,107
But, honey, we all...
448
00:23:13,175 --> 00:23:17,378
Let me rephrase. I hear we
both love singing Billy Joel.
449
00:23:19,047 --> 00:23:20,948
Yeah...Indeed.
450
00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:24,719
Have we met before?
You look familiar to me.
451
00:23:24,786 --> 00:23:26,387
I don't think so.
452
00:23:26,455 --> 00:23:28,523
I would have remembered.
453
00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:31,893
Would anybody like
to sit down?
454
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,663
Reserved a table
in my name, all right?
455
00:23:35,731 --> 00:23:37,632
Let's.
Let's...
456
00:23:37,699 --> 00:23:38,533
Yeah.
Of course.
457
00:23:46,441 --> 00:23:48,676
That's how I know you.
458
00:23:48,744 --> 00:23:50,244
You're the...
459
00:24:11,099 --> 00:24:13,501
The suicide dummy.
460
00:24:18,173 --> 00:24:19,507
That's right.
461
00:24:19,575 --> 00:24:22,543
Take that big, fat cock
all the way down.
462
00:24:22,611 --> 00:24:25,012
Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay.
463
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,247
It's too big.
464
00:24:26,315 --> 00:24:28,382
If we go real slow,
baby, it's okay.
465
00:24:28,450 --> 00:24:29,784
Don't worry.
466
00:24:29,851 --> 00:24:31,452
There we go.
467
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,453
Say ahh.
468
00:24:33,522 --> 00:24:35,056
That's it.
That's it.
469
00:24:35,123 --> 00:24:36,057
It's really wide.
470
00:24:36,124 --> 00:24:37,925
Oh! Oh, yeah!
471
00:24:43,365 --> 00:24:45,266
She got lockjaw
or something.
472
00:24:45,334 --> 00:24:47,435
I told you it was too big.
473
00:24:47,502 --> 00:24:48,970
What did she say?
474
00:24:49,037 --> 00:24:51,372
She said,
"I told you it was too big."
475
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,208
Kind of like how only moms
can understand their infants.
476
00:24:54,276 --> 00:24:55,710
You know, that is
not the metaphor
477
00:24:55,777 --> 00:24:57,211
That I would draw
into this circumstance,
478
00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:58,779
But, yeah,
something like that.
479
00:25:00,849 --> 00:25:02,883
Why don't we just wait
480
00:25:02,951 --> 00:25:06,721
Until, he loses his erection?
481
00:25:06,788 --> 00:25:08,556
Lady, I took
enough viagra here
482
00:25:08,624 --> 00:25:10,391
To fuck
for three weeks, okay?
483
00:25:10,459 --> 00:25:13,227
I need you to go and get
the jaws of life up in here
484
00:25:13,295 --> 00:25:14,962
And get her jaws
off my life.
485
00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,163
This really sucks,
you know.
486
00:25:16,231 --> 00:25:17,098
Hey, you gave me
the fucking dick,
487
00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:18,299
So I don't want to hear it.
488
00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:19,967
There's no way
it's going away.
489
00:25:20,035 --> 00:25:21,636
I'm not even talking
to you right now.
490
00:25:21,703 --> 00:25:23,204
Asshole.
491
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,000
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