That was me - deb - see tuntil the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
But there was a bit of a mix-up
And I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm jane,
A super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe,
And the only people who really know what's going on with me
Are my girlfriend stacy and my guardian angel, fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason...
Whoo!
...And, well, I sure hope I was right.
Transcipt by Addic7ed.com
Go"get my dry cleaning, whalphabetize client receipts,
And pick up a nonfat vanilla latte" - nonfat in all caps.
Fred, I have your - "9:00 a.M. Deposition, file the swain motion" -
Switch. Switch. Fred, coffee? French roast.
Love it, but not today. I'm running late.
I'll get my caffeine from the fumes of kim's latte.
Hmm. How 'bout you, sweetie?
Antioxidant tomato-blueberry smoothie?
Dr. Oz says it'll age you backwards.
Sorry, no time.
And at my deposition, I want to be hungry.
It makes me cranky andggressive.
Oh. I'll just stick it in the fridge for later.
Has anybody seen my left shoe? Under the table.
My keys? In the "cosmo" magazine.
You bookmarked the "triumphant return of the empire waistline."
Thanks, stace.
You're the best.
Bye.
Dry cleaning's in your close receipts are alphabetized,
And your latte is on your desk.
Don't ask me how I kept it warm.
You want me to take that?
Messages?
On your computer.
Red for business, blue for personal.
Caitlin tanner called. She said she's a college friend.
Which means she's in blue. I derstand your system, fred.
She needs to meet with you,
So I squeezed her in at noon, which means she's in red.
Okay, I went to the ugstore for you twice this week.
What did I forget?
I do some of my own errands.
You know, I woke up this morning thinking...
Maybe a divorce is premature.
Yes, he's been distant, married to his job, unavailable,
But that doesn't necessarily add up to...
Jane, do you think I'm acting rashly?
That's not for me to decide.
But we do need to talk about your husband's assets.
Is he hiding something from me?
Yes.
And - and not just assets.
In the course of our due diligence,
We found...
Maria, wthinyour husband has a girlfriend.
I'm so sorry.
You know...
A part of me suspected, but...
Are you sure?
Uh...Property records.
As you know, he travels back and forth
Between his l.A. And san francisco offices.
In san francisco, he bout a townhouse last March.
And the mortgage is in the name
Of charles ellis and emily parcells.
Okay.
The divorce is on.
Okay.
We need to talk.
I'm with client.
We still need to talk.
I am in the middle of giving bad news to a client.
You're messing with my bedside mojo.
Yourojo is needed in reception.
There's a walk-in acting like a grenade with its pin pulled.
Why me? She asked for you.
By name.
I have to do a fly-by in judge malloy's court.
File this in my office.
It's an updated motion for the mcdonald case.
♪ e-I-e-I-o ♪
Never gets old.
Yes, it does.
Need to talk to her now. I can't wait!
Hello?
Hi, I'm jane bingum. How may I help you?
You can start by telling me why you're invading my privacy.
I'm not sure what you're referring to, ms...?
You are e jane bingum that requested a copy
Of the deed to my townhouse?
And don't try and deny it.
A friend at the county assessor's called me.
The san francisco county assessor? Mm-hmm.
You're emily parcells.
Yes. Why are you investigating me?
I represent charles ellis' wife.
That's not possible.
You do know that charles is married, right?
Of course I do.
He's married to me.
Married on August 18, 2002, to charles ellis.
And emily parcells,
Married on March 13, 2005, to charles ellis.
You don't know m me,
But if I'd had any idea that he was married toou,
I never would have married him.
Well, technically, you didn't.
Isn't that right?
Because charles was already married,
Legally, your marriage is void.
To be fair,
If I had known that charles was cheating,
I would have have left him
Long before you two ever got hitched.
So, what happens now?
I'm going after my share of our community property.
No offense - that includes your little love nest.
What about me?
Well, you were never really married to charlie, so -
I have rights. I lived with th man for 5 years, as his wife.
And that townhouse is in both of our names.
Are you kidding me? ! That was my home.
You think that you're entitled to the community property? That was my life.
That -
Maria, you are right.
We can make charles pay. What?
Because you have a claim to palimony.T, t,
What are you saying?
Do you ladies want to go after each other,
Or do you want to go after charles?
Caitlin.
Kim. Hi.
I- I really appreciate you taking the time.
Of course. I know I owe you a call.
After the adoption, I meant to come by.
The baby must be 3 weeks olby now?
Kim...He's gone.
What?
You remember lana.
Yeah, the - the birth mother?
It was an open adoption.
By the time she had the baby, we - we became friends.
We were both single.
We bonded.
This morning, she asked if she could come for a visit.
Oh, god.
I went to the bathroom.
I left her alone with ben for 5 minutes.
I came back,
And she left a note saying she changed her mind.
Caitlin, she can't do that. Not legally.
Please, I need to get my son back.
Hello!
Stacy? I picked up sushi.
How was your day?
Oh - no, wait. Me first.
I got a job.
Did "sports illustrated"
Finally call you in for the swimsuit edition?
I'm so jealous.
Nope. Even better. I started my ownusiness.
Now, close your eyes.
Okay.
Jane...
I decided to follow my true passion.
Skin care? Exactly!
The avocado moisturizer that doubles as dip
Is a terrible idea.
Derma-guac could be huge, but I have something better.
Ose your eyes.
Okay.
I'm ready.
ooh!
It's called "the armvelope."
Is that the left leg
Of the victoria's secret new metallic leggings
That I wore when I got runner-up for miss kahlúa in 2007?
It used to be.
The armvelope protects your skin while driving,
Keeping off all those nasty u.V. Rays.
Every left-arm-out-the-window driver in america
Will need one.
At least one.
Stacy, this is brilliant.
Hmm.
Thanks.
I'll let her know.
What?
Caitlin is in the lobby.
Lana and her attorney are on their way up.
Okay, just give me five minutes, and then bring them in.
Tony? Jane.
What happened,
They cut the soda budget at bogert & markoff?
Yeah, they ran out of ginger ale,
So I drove across town 'cause I was thirsty.
May I have a soda, jane?
Of course.
But why are you here?
I have a vague recollection
Of you telling me we're through.
That means you don't pop over for pop.
Well, I'm not here to see you, jane.
Well, I didn't think you were, tony.
But we will be seeing each other. Are you talking in code now?
You're opposing counsel. I'm representing charles ellis.
What? No.
The attorney of record is harold folley.
Folley's out with the flu, so I'm filling in.
Should be a straightforward divorce.
Have it settled by the end of the day -
That is, if you and maria ellis are reasonable.
I'm sure maria won't be the problem.
30 days, ms. Kaswell.
State law says a birth mother has 30 days
To change r mind and take her baby back.
Unless the birth mother signs a waiver
Giving up all rights to the baby.
Waiver is void.
Lana signed that while in a state of diminished capacity.
What?
She was suffering from post-partum depression.
No. No.
Lana, I was at the hospital with you.
When you handed me ben,
You said it was the right thing to do.
I'm sorry.
Ben is my baby.
Lana may have given birthto,
But she gave him to me.
I love him, and I will fight for him.
I'm filing for a t.R.O. Barring lana from leaving the city
And seeking an order to have ben returned immediately.
Let me be clear.
My client doesn't want this dorce.
But if mrs. Ellis insists,
We are prepared to offer a fair settlement.
We're not ready to discuss settlement.
What are you talking about?
Hello, maria.
Hello, emily.
Oh, my god.
What's...Going on here? Who is...?
Oh, this would be your client's second wife.
Charles, what is this? Talk to me.
This - this wasn't supposed to happen.
Actually, stop talking.
Let me explain.
This ought to be good. I'm all ears.
I'm so, so sorry.
Charles!
What are we doing here, jane?
You can't represent two wives in a divorce proceeding.
That's right.
The divorce and the palimony are on hold.
Right now, maria and emily
Are jointly suing your client for fraud.
Could we please step outside? Yep.
Don't even.
Not a word.
I don't believe this.
I know. Bigamy - who knew people still did that?
Unless they're from that cult in west texas.
Is charles a texan?
You blindsided me, jane. You're kidding me, right?
You're representing a guy who lied to two wives,
And you're upset because I didn't give you a heads-up?
You changed the cause of action and didn't bother to tell me.
A good lawyer doesn't share her strategy with opposing counsel.
Oh, please. You wanted your big dramatic moment.
What? Come on.
You're still mad at me because I broke up with you,
But you didn't need to turn this into a circus.
This isn't personal, tony.
But if it were,
I would tell you that no one in their right mind
Would ever wear that belt with those shoes.
What's wrong with my shoes?
See you in court.
That's a lot to handle.
By uting these two women into a single cause of action,
It's a win-win.
Classic conflict resolution.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Ah. Sun tzu. "the art of war."
Brandon and dylan, "90210," the original.
They were archrivals because they both fell for kelly.
But then when kelly was brainwashed by a cult...
They worked together to rescue kelly
From the evil cult leader.
I had an ex that made me watch.
Okay.
Typically, post-partum depression occurs
Within the first four weeks of giving birth.
Dr. Kemper, does a woman's age
Make her more susceptible to ppd?
Research has shown
That women under 20 are particularly at risk.
And lana is how old?
18.
In your expert opinion,
Is it possible
That lana's post-partum depression was so severe
That she didn't understand
The full implications of the waiver?
Absolutely.
Thank you, doctor.
When was the first time you met lana?
A week ago.
So you didn't examine her
At the time she was supposedly mentally unfit
Sign the waiver, did you?
I stand by my diagnosis.
That's not really an answer, is it?
Ladies and gentlemen,
What we have here is a clear case of fraud.
First, I will prove
That charles ellis knowingly entered into
Two separate, competing marriage contracts,
And in so doing willfully deceived these two women.
Next, I will illustrate how these women
Were emotionally and financially harmed by that man -
Who turned their lives into lies.
This is not a criminal trial.
You're not being asked to decide
Whether or not my client committed bigamy.
No, mr. Ellis has been accused of fraud.
Were these women lied to?
Yes.
But in order to prove fraud,
The plaintiff has to pro actual damages.
Our legal system doesn't recogniz
Hurt feelings or bruised egos.
This case is nothing more than a desperate attempt
To apply a legal remedy to a matter of the heart.
Do you remember signing the waiver giving up your child?
Of course.
Can you tell the court about your thoughts and feelings
In that moment?
It felt like it was out of my control.
Like that moment when you jump into the pool,
But before you get wet.
I knew what was gonna happen, but it didn't feel right.
Thank you.
When you first decided to give your baby up for adopti,
You interviewed prospective parents
And chose caitlin, right?
Yes.
Do you remember why you chose her?
I thought she could give my baby the life that I couldn't.
Lana, has anything changed for you
Since you made that decision?
Everything has changed.
Ben's father is here.
He came back to me and the baby.
Excuse me? Ben's father?
He's right there.
Ben's father waived his parental rights
As soon as he found out you were pregnant.
No, he said it was a mistake.
We're gonna raise ben together, like a family.
So as soon as the father came back,
You decided you had post-partum depression?
Objection.
Miss kaswell...
You're not a mother, are you?
that's irrelevant.
It's why you can't understand what it's like
To have a baby and then lose him.
She's lying about post-partum depression
So she can keep ben.
It doesn't matter.
They put up a doctor
Who gave the judge a reason to void the waiver.
Caitlin...
You didn't give lana any money, did you?
She hasn't had a job in two years.
How did they afford a brand-new truck?
She said she needed $20, 000 for medical expenses.
Do you have any receipts?
Any paperwork to prove how the money was spent?
I didn't want to know.
And that's called a bribe. It's illegal.
I did what she asked. I didn't want to lose ben.
I can't do this. I can't handle your case.
Kim, what?
I'll find you a new lawyer.
I- I don't want another lawyer.
I'm sorry.
Notice anything different?
N- no? Ah, exactly!
I have been driving up and down sunset boulevard all day long,
Dangling my arm out the window.
And look!
Creamy and white.
How - how do you keep it so...Creamy?
Ah! I thought you'd never ask.
Savvy drivers say, "the armvelope, please."
Ta-da!
I was hoping jane could help me
With manufacturing, website design, and fulfillment.
That's fancy talk for sales.
Um...
Jane is in court.
But I happen to be an expert in all of those fields.
In fact, some people around here call me a renaissance man.
I'd be happy to help.
Really? Yay!
My first employee.
With benefits? Uh, no.
Hmm.
Mrs. Ellis, how did you feel when you learned
Your husband had another wife?
Deceived.
Betrayed.
Scammed, cheated, robbed.
I- I can go on.
We get the point.
Okay, maybe go on a little.
He was scum.
It's one thing to be lied to.
It's something else to discover that 6 years of your life
Were complete fiction.
Ms. Parcells, isn't it true
That before ms. Bingum investigated your finances
And then introduced you to maria,
You had a happy marriage?
Objection!
The witness's prior state of mind is not relevant.
It was relevant when she asked her clients
How they reacted to news of the infidelity.
He's right. Overruled.
Before I knew about maria?
Mm-hmm.
Yes, I was happy.
Mrs. Ellis, who told you about emily
And then convinced you to sue for fraud?
My lawyer.
So, prior to meeting with your attorney, did you feel
"deceived, betrayed, scammed, cheated, or robbed"?
No.
But - no further questions.
Jane, I need to talk to you.
Can we talk at home? I'm kind of busy.
Uh, let's go in your office.
Okay. Hold her calls.
Um...
As your guardian angel,
I feel it's myuty to give you some bad news.
As my guardian angel,
All you've ever given me is bad news,
Starting with, "you're dead."
Well, don't underestimate consistency.
You better sit down.
Okay.
Well, I-it seems...
Um...
Kim is pregnant.
What?
Oh.
Well, you know, that's not so bad.
I keep her calendar.
I know who, what, when, where, and why,
And I just did the math.
It's grayson's.
What?
Jane!
Fred created a website, and we got our first 20 orders,
All from australia.
Yay, disappearing ozone layer!
♪ la la la ♪ that's great.
Sweetie, what's wrong?
Kim's pregnant.
No. Way.
With grayson's baby.
That was my reaction.
Where are you going?
Oh, no.
Not the "break open only in case of emergency" tartufo.
And... I'm adding sprinkles.
You know...
It was hard enough when they were dating.
Yeah.
But now a baby?
Mm-hmm.
My baby. Your baby?
I should be married to grayson, and we should be having babies.
But, sweetie - I know.
I'm not the same person.
But down deep,
I always thought that one day
He would see that I was deb...
And fall back in love with you.
It's not that crazy.
We have a connection.
This changes everything.
Kim.
My father taught me to apologize in person.
Can I come in?
I shouldn't have walked out on you.
It was unprofessional.
No. I should've been completely honest.
We're friends.
You were scared.
Winnie-the-pooh.
Until I was 5, my best friend was a stuffed tigger.
Oh, I had piglet.
Myom bght me a matching pink-striped shirt
So we could be twins.
Mm.
Oy.
Hey, caitlin...
How did you know that you wanted a child?
That the time was right?
I've wanted to be a mom as long as I can remember.
And now that I'm single and getting older...
Come on. You're not that old.
I mean, I'm still young, and we're the same age.
We're not talking about you, kim.
Wait. Are we?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Look, caitlin, this isn't why I came by,
But there's a good chance I'm pregnant.
Have you taken a test?
I bought one.
But...
I don't have that maternal urge, at least not right now.
And I really didn't want to talk to you about this...
Given your situation.
I'm glad you did.
Uh...
Anyway, I just came by to say that...
I'm sorry I let my personal nonsense
Get in the way of my job.
And I'm back on your case, if you want me.
Yes.
Good morning.
I heard about your case.
Applying fraud to bigamy kind of brilliant.
Thanks.
So, I guess...
Congratulations are really in order.
I know. It's embarrassing.
But people like to send baskets. Any occasion, right?
Yeah, I don't know if it's just any occasion, but...
Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm sorry.
Babies make me emotional.
I got to go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come back.
What did you just say?
Congratulations to you and kim.
Why are you looking at me like that?
You got the basket. It's obviously not a secret.
The basket's from my client,
The browpelican foundation,
For the injunction I got
Oh. Against the wetlands developmjane.
What did you hear?
I- I shouldn't have said anything.
I'm sor- I'm - I'm gonna go.
One high-end cartier watch.
Receipt and paperwork. A birthday gift.
Huh.
One identical cartier watch. Receipt and paperwork.
A gift for my anniversary.
How's it going?
By the time we're done,
There won't be a single undocumented asset.
We've cataloged all things with motors,
All things with roofs, and all bank and stock accounts.
Well, charles may not have been terribly creative,
But he was generous.
The cost of a guilty conscience.
Nice work, ladies.
Let's take a break, 'cause we are due in court.
Okay.
Mr. Ellis,
Did emily or maria suffer financially
From your unusual marital arrangement?
Really? That's what we're calling it?
Ms. Bingum.
Uh, not at all.
In fact, financially, they're each better off now
Than before we met.
Did you profit at all from the marriages?
Just the opposite.
It's expensive to maintain two separate households.
Charles, we all want to know...
Why marry two women?
Why else? Love.
Oh, come on.
This is not a comedy club, ms. Bingum.
There will be no heckling.
You were saying.
Lots of people go through life never meeting their soul mate.
I met two - two phenomenal women
That I cannot imagine spending my life witho.
Believe me, I did not set out to cheat on maria.
But when I met emily, for the second time in my life,
The world stood still.
Would you say your los angeles office is nicely appointed?
Yes.
Objection. Your honor, that's not even close to relevant.
Oh, it is so relevant,
If counsel pays closer attention to what I say
And not what he thinks he hears.
I'm over here, ms. Bingum.
And I'd love to know
Why we should care about mr. Ellis' office.
Isn't it true that your wife maria,
A licensed interior designer, decorated that office?
Yes.
And isn't it true that your other wife, emily,
A freelance magazine writer,
Edited and compiled
The promotional materials for your firm?
Yes.
According to my calculations,
The value of those services is.
Did you pay them?
No, but -
No buts.
My clients should be paid for services rendered.
Sounds like damages to me.
Why do you suppose emily and maria
Never asked to be paid?
Because they loved me, and they wanted to help out.
That's what happens in a good marriage.
Hey.
This a bad time?
Yeah, actually. I'm under the gun,
And I cannot find what I'm looking for.
There something you want to tell me?
What?
How did you hear?
I was gonna tell you, just not until I...
I'm not even sure yet.
I want you to know, I plan on doing the right thing.
Well, thank you, dudley do-right.
Kim. Come on, really?
I mean, does anybody ever say
They plan on not doing the right thing?
I'm serious.
I'm sure you think so.
But "the right thing" - what does that even mean?
The right thing for me? The right thing for the baby?
The right thing for... Us.
And what is that?
Love and obey?
Sickness and health?
A little house in the valley?
Is that what you mean?
It means...
Whatever you need.
Grayson, you look terrified.
This is so not a good day.
I didn't ask.
Tony is selling bigamy to the jury
Like it's the most romantic thing since michael bublé.
I love michael bublé.
Well, this might cheer you up.
I was following up on the list of charles ellis' assets.
Look at this.
Teri, this is great.
Beaming about bigamy, bingum?
Perfectly put, parker.
Kim's case is tanking. She wants your help.
Kim never wants my help.
You caught me. I want you to help her.
Family law, adoption gone bad -
You're the expert. Since when?
Law school.
Your law review article -
"legal ramifications of nontraditional conception"?
Yeah, I read.
Kaswell! Jane offered to help you out with your case.
Really? Of course not.
Now, go get in a room and don't come out
Until you two figure out how to win this thing.
can we focus here?
That is one cute baby.
They all look alike to me.
What's throwing me is the waiver.
If this was just a scam to get $20, 000 out of my client,
Why would lana sign it?
Well, maybe caitlin wouldn't pay her unless she signed.
Caitlin paid her in advance, before the baby was born.
Well, it sounds like the birth mother
Really didn't want to keep this baby.
Yeah, until the boyfriend returned and changed her mind.
Maybe the $20,000 changed his mind.
I mean, the boyfriend's 19.
How often does a teenage boy come back into the picture
After the baby's born
To say he wants to do the right thing?
Kim?
Kim, I'm saying -
I heard you.
So, either the boyfriend's a genuinely good guy...
Or the two of them saw this baby as an atm machine.
Your honor, counsel's already rested her case.
There are no do-overs.
I'm not asking for a do-over.
I'm recalling mr. Ellis to authenticate
A new piece of rebuttal evidence.
Short leash, ms. Bingum.
Like for a pomeranian.
I'm just saying, you know,
Small dog, long leash, big dog...
proceed.
Mr. Ellis, would you be so kind
As to identify a gift you gave to your beloved?
A cartier watch?
Not a problem.
Perfect.
Would mr. Ellis' wife please stand
And show us her watch?
Oh, I'm sorry. I meant mr. Ellis' other wife.
Oop, I did it again.
I meant mr. Ellis' future wife.
Excuse me?
Teri...
Hello, charles.
Mr. Ellis, can you identify this lovely woman's watch?
You gave it to her at christmas, right?
It's a...Cartier.
Could you tell the court your relationship to this woman?
Um...
She's my fiancée.
Small correction - she was your fiancée.
As a general rule...
No one likes to come in third.
but all good things fun sincmust come to an end.
Your honor, we still have our closings.
We do. And if you want to take a chance on that jury,
Be my guest.
Maybe you had a shot when there were only two wives,
But soul mate number three shows up,
And your guy's looking like tiger woods
Without the golfing skills.
Am I right?
It's not for me to say.
But...?
They hate your client.
I want the two of you to find an empty courtroom
And settle this.
You don't pull her hair,
And you don't steal his milk money.
My client's prepared to testify
That she paid your client $20,000
Prior to the birth of the baby.
That was for medical expenses.
I figured you'd say that, so I subpoenaed bank records.
I'm sorry. I'll pay it back.
Which shouldn't be too difficult,
Considering joey has $100, 000 in his bank account.
What? No, we don't have that kind of money.
Joey does.
Joey, what is she talking about?
Joey e-mailed ben's baby photo
To neil and sue applegate of henderson, nevada.
What is this about, counselor?
The applegates have wanted a baby boy for the longest time.
Apparently, it cost them $100,000.
Are you accusing my client of selling her baby?
You sold ben?
Come on, lana.
We're not parents.
I did it for us, babe.
Get out of here.
Go!
Joey...
When you s the fbi agents in the lobby,
My advice - don't run.
He said that he came back to me and the baby.
We were gonna be a family.
I'm sorry, lana.
I know that might sound weird coming from me,
But I really am.
You must be really happy with yourself right now.
I am satisfied with a job well done.
Ach! Oh, come on, tony.
You're representing a bigamist
And making him sound like a saint.
I am doing my job.
Yeah, well, you're doing it too well!
If I hadn't found the fiancée,
The jury could have believed that "twice in a lifetime" b.S.
You don't believe that someone could have two soul mates?
I- I-I think when you get married,
You commit to one.
why are you laughing?
Oh, I'm sorry. That just strikes me as funny.
'cause you were married when yo.
You know, you let someone fall for you,
Even though you were married.
You know what?
I explained my situation, and you said you understood.
Yeah, well, maybe I tried, and maybe I don't.
Fine. You're confused?
So ask me whatever you want to know.
Go ahead.
The witness is all yours.
What? Come on. Cross-examine me.
Ms. Bingum, isn't it true
That you were married when you dated me?
Yes, to ethan,
A man I hadn't seen in 7 years, a man I never loved.
But you didn't introduce him as your husband?
That's correct.
Isn't it a fact that you knew that keeping a secret
Would be hurtful to our relationship?
I thought it would hurt you more if I told you the truth.
So, you were concerned about my feelings?
Of course. I like you.
That didn't sound like the past tense.
Well, maybe it's not past tense.
Are you admitting under oath
That you continue to harbor feelings for opposing counsel?
Objection. On what grounds?
Flirting with the witness.
I have one last question for you.
Is it not a fact that you wore that amazing perfume
Just to distract me?
Do I distract you?
You have no idea.
I don't know how to thank you.
He belongs here.
Want to hold him?
Oh, I don't know. He looks really comfortable.
I don't want to... Break him or anything.
Come here.
Okay.
For what it's worth,
Whether it's sooner or later,
I think that you're going to be a great -
Don't say it.
Hey, I got you something in my bag.
Oh. Piglet.
Just don't put him in a matching shirt, okay?
Okay.
Oh. Hi.
Kim's only out of the office another 20 minutes,
So talk quickly.
What's the emergency?
This came by special delivery an hour ago.
It's a cease and desist letter from the japanese maker of...
The sun sleeve?
At first, I was really angry
And I wanted to fight it,
But then I remembered something.
I'm listening.
A few weeks ago, I was home with the flu
And left the japanese cable station on
Because I was too weak to get the remote.
There was an infomercial for the sun sleeve.
It looked a lot like this.
I thought it was a dream,
But now I realize I stole their idea.
Fred?
Yes, stacy?
Armvelope enterprise regrets to inform you
That you have been laid off.
Well, for what it's worth, you were a great boss.
You're off the hook.
You mean...
I just took the test. It's negative.
So... You can stand down.
Are you all right?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm relieved.
Why wouldn't I be? I didn't mean -
I know.
Have a good night.
As your guardian angel,
It's my sworn duty to inform you that I made a mistake.
Another mistake?
Like that time you let me push the return button.
It's kim.
The test was negative.
Huh.
Huh?
As deb, I'm really glad that she's not pregnant.
Buas jane...
It feels like it's none of my business.
When I thought kim was carryingrayson's baby,
It was like I had to get rid of this picture
I was carrying around in my head.
That would be deb.
But maybe the picture's already started to change.
Jane.
Yeah.
No, jane, that's me trying to get your attention,
As in "jane, your phone is buzzing."
Oh.
What?
Apparently, jane has to get home.
Well, I hope she has a good night.
I most definitely will.
Mind if I join you?
You want company?
Sure. That'd be nice.
You haven't been yourself lately.
Yeah, I've...
Been... Under the weather.
I'm okay.
You meeting a client? No.
Hot date?
What are we drinking?
So, I don't usually compliment opposing counsel
Before a case is officially settled.
That's a good policy.
But...You were pretty spectacular.
I was, wasn't I?
In your cross-examinatio you did this thing
Where you had your back to my client
And then swung around
And you were right in his face -
Totallthrew him off balance.
That's my signature move.
It's the pivot, point, and pounce.
Well, I couldn't take my eyes off you.
Then it worked. Mm-hmm.
You know, you were pretty impressive yourself.
Ah, I'm an okay lawyer, but I'm a phenomenal bartender.
What is this?
I found a pitcher of purple smooths in the fridge,
And I added vodka.
Mmm.
This is turning out to be
One of my favorite settlement conferences ever.
Just one of them? Definitely top three.
Oh, jane.
Nobody likes to come in third.
I couldn't agree more.
♪...Up your mind ♪
♪ and don't finish what you start ♪
♪ so thank you for tearing it apart ♪
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