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Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker,
with Channel Five News.
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We now go live to Ollie Williams
recapping the events
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00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,752
of the last episode of Family Guy.
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- What happened last time, Ollie?
- Stewie killed Lois!
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- Then what?
- Peter got blamed!
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00:00:16,193 --> 00:00:17,217
- Then what?
- Peter went to court!
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- Then what?
- Lois came back!
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- How?
- Wasn't really dead!
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Thanks, Ollie. And now Part Two.
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It seems today that all you see
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Is violence in movies and sex on TV
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But where are those
good old-fashioned values
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On which we used to rely?
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Lucky there's a family guy
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Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
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All the things that make us
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Laugh and cry
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He's a family guy
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Oh, Lois, sweetheart,
I'm so glad you're alive!
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You gotta tell me everything
that happened.
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I mean, not tonight,
'cause I got plans with the guys,
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00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:02,802
but tomorrow night
I wanna hear all about it.
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Peter, didn't you hear what I said?
Stewie tried to kill me!
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- Mom, Stewie's just a baby.
- No, he's not, Meg! He's evil.
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He shot me point-blank
right on the deck of the cruise ship.
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I would have been dead
if it hadn't been for a passing merman
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who treated my wounds
and carried me to safety.
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It sounds romantic, I know,
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but unfortunately he was kind of a reverse
of what you'd expect a merman to be.
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- I wish to make love to you.
- Oh, no, thank you.
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What are you talking about?
I thought this was a woman's fantasy.
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Yeah, but this is sort of the opposite.
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Like, if you had a man's body and fish legs,
then it'd be different.
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- Yeah, but then I wouldn't have a penis.
- Well, but...
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See, there you go.
I just poked a huge hole in your logic.
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I'm sorry, I'm...
I'm just gonna have to say no.
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Maybe I feel like you owe me a little.
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Ah! Damn it!
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Unfortunately, I was suffering
from total amnesia
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and had no idea who I was.
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After wandering around for a while,
I discovered I was in North Carolina,
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where I managed to get a job
at a summer camp for fat kids.
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It was my job to keep the children
from eating each other.
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Hey! Hey! No. No, no, no.
Spit him out! Jeffrey! Spit him out now!
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00:02:39,288 --> 00:02:41,449
And Mike, you spit out Timmy!
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00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,851
Over the next several months,
I developed a relationship
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with a seemingly nice, young townie,
named Derek.
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Eventually, he got comfortable enough
with me to introduce me to his friends.
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That's how I found out
he was a white supremacist.
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Okay, first order of business,
I'd like to thank Paul and Tracy,
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who have agreed to bring cookies
for next week's punch social.
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Just remember, you two,
Fred is allergic to peanuts.
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Peanuts and Jews.
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No, but Jews are bad.
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You know, it's remarks like that
that started the Holocaust,
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and I know none of us want that
to happen again.
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And after that blow to the head,
it all started coming back to me.
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So I rushed back to Quahog,
and here I am.
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So what you're saying is we've got
a homicidal baby on our hands.
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Mom! Dad! Stewie's gone!
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Don't worry, Lois, we'll catch him.
Hobey, radio for backup.
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Uh...
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- Hello?
This is dispatch, go ahead.
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Uh...
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We need more cars
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'cause we're trying to find...
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All right, we'll do it on the way!
We'll do it on the way!
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00:04:04,553 --> 00:04:07,386
Sorry to bother you,
but we have a fugitive baby on our hands.
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Have you seen this child?
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No, I haven't, Officer,
but I sure will keep my eyes open.
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What is it?
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That killer baby
from the trial's gone missing.
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- Oh, no!
- I know!
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Uh-oh.
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The police.
Looks like I got some explaining to do.
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No, but how could I help you, Officer?
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We're looking for this baby.
Have you seen him?
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00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:37,453
I'm looking for Kareem under the hoop.
Have you seen him?
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No, but I'll let you know if I see anything.
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- Mr. Superman no here.
- Well, we're looking for a missing...
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No, Mr. Superman, he no is here.
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Yeah, okay.
Well, can you just give him this flier?
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I... No. No, I have no money.
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Just take this flier,
and if you see this baby...
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00:05:02,948 --> 00:05:04,643
No, no.
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Boy, I sure hope they find him.
Otherwise, we're all gonna be...
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So it's all out in the open now, isn't it?
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Stewie, how long
you been all messed up and evil like this?
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00:05:19,934 --> 00:05:21,925
So now you're interested in Stewie?
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Last week, when I made
that macaroni picture of an owl,
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you didn't give a damn!
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- That was an owl?
- Yes.
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And now we're going to look at it again.
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- Look, look! Do you like it?
- Yes!
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- What do you like about it, specifically?
- I don't know.
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Pick something,
or I'll blow your brains out!
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- I like how it looks like an owl.
- Thank you for the compliment!
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Hey, everything okay in there?
I heard shouting.
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Dog, answer it.
Tell him, "Yes, everything's fine."
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Yes, Joe, everything's fine.
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- Okay, good.
- Make fun of his wheelchair.
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- What?
- What?
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Do it.
Say, "Ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair."
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Ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair.
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What's that supposed to mean?
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00:06:08,788 --> 00:06:12,623
- Say, "I bet you can't get a boner."
- I bet you can't get a boner.
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That's not very nice, Brian.
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- "Neither is your mother's ass."
- Neither is your mother's ass.
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Well, I'll give you that one.
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Now tell him
you've always thought he was handsome.
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I've always thought you were handsome.
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Well, I got to tell you, Brian,
I'm relieved to hear you say that.
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Please call me
if you see any sign of Stewie.
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Tell him, " Ha-ha-ha, just kidding
about the handsome thing."
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- Come on.
- Do it!
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Come on, that meant a lot to him.
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Ha-ha-ha, just kidding
about the handsome thing.
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Well, that's disappointing.
I needed that boost today.
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All right, I'll see you later.
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All right, Lois, I'm hungry.
Take those breasts out.
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Wait a minute. You could've drugged this.
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- Well, I'm no fool. Brian, taste this.
- What?
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- Go on, taste it! You're the guinea pig.
- Lois, he's got a gun.
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- Look, I'll do it myself. How about that?
- I don't know, he kind of asked me.
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I mean, I think we should do what he says.
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Well, yeah, but, Brian...
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I'm totally willing
to do this for the family.
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- I'm not sure...
- I'll do it.
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Hey, Griffins, just checking in.
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- Oh, my God!
- Holy crap!
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Stewie, you killed him! He's dead!
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Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, what are we gonna do?
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- Oh, poor Cleveland.
- It's all right, Lois, he's in Heaven now.
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I don't understand why I need to give you
a credit card imprint.
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It's kind of a new policy.
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I didn't see you ask the guy in front of me.
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It's kind of brand new.
Do you have a credit card?
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- I got a Sears card.
- They're doing pretty well, huh?
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One by my house
got a McDonald's right in the store.
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It won't be long before the police notice
Cleveland's disappearance.
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Black man gone missing, my God,
the media will be all over that!
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All right, if I see any cops following me,
the dog gets it!
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Get in. Come on, drive, drive, drive!
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00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:08,088
There's Joe. Say, "Joe, I think you're cool."
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- Joe, I think you're cool.
- Well, thank you, Brian.
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That's gonna get me through the rest
of this yard work.
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- "No, just kidding, you suck."
- No, just kidding, you suck.
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- "Queer."
- Queer.
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Well, there goes my smile.
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You know,
you're not gonna get away with this.
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Kidnapping me is one thing,
but you killed Cleveland!
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You forget,
I'm the one holding the gun, Brian.
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And you're gonna do exactly as I say.
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You mind if I ask where we're going?
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You'll know soon enough, Brian.
The world will know soon enough.
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I'll be as big as I should have been
when I was on American Idol.
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I don't mind not knowing
What I'm headed for
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You can take me to the skies
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It's like being lost in heaven
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00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:05,813
When I'm lost in your eyes
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00:09:06,656 --> 00:09:09,785
Stewie, what the hell was that?
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00:09:09,893 --> 00:09:12,191
That was Lost In Your Eyes
by Debbie Gibson.
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00:09:12,296 --> 00:09:14,527
- One of the worst I've ever heard.
- Okay.
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Stewie, you shouldn't actually
even be alive, you sniveling little creep.
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I hate you so much,
I want to shoot you in your face.
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- All right.
- Honey, I like you,
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but you're just not right
for this competition.
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Yo, dawg, I gotta tell you, for me, man,
that was not even half good, dude.
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You can't sing.
What are you doing, Stewie?
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00:09:35,922 --> 00:09:38,653
I don't even care.
They don't know what they's talking about.
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Next time they hear about me,
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they's gonna be, like,
"We was wrong about Stewie."
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'Cause I's gonna be huge.
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I's gonna be bigger
than every one of all y'alls.
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Hey. Hey, you know
what we should do, guys,
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00:09:53,499 --> 00:09:55,490
- while we're here tied up like this?
- What?
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00:09:55,601 --> 00:09:58,661
We should come up with
a totally bogus rumor about a celebrity.
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00:09:58,771 --> 00:10:01,502
And then when we get out of here,
we'll spread it around as much as we can.
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00:10:01,608 --> 00:10:04,839
- That sounds like fun!
- Actually, that does sound like fun.
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00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:08,176
- What'd you have in mind?
- Okay, okay, how about this?
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00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:10,615
Hey, did you guys hear
about Rob Schneider?
182
00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:13,209
Somebody told me
he goes down to Home Depot
183
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,052
and pays the migrant workers
to go to his house
184
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,558
and choke him
while he masturbates in the shower.
185
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,925
I could buy that.
That sounds like something he'd do.
186
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:24,023
Well, I think that's awful
that Rob Schneider does that.
187
00:10:24,134 --> 00:10:26,295
Yeah, isn't that a disgusting,
absolute fact?
188
00:10:26,436 --> 00:10:28,870
Yeah! We're starting a rumor!
189
00:10:28,972 --> 00:10:31,737
- Wait a minute. Chris, are you clapping?
- Yeah!
190
00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:33,741
- So your hands are free.
- Yeah!
191
00:10:33,844 --> 00:10:36,938
- Stewie didn't tie up your hands.
- No, he must have forgot.
192
00:10:37,048 --> 00:10:40,143
You've realized,
we've been sitting here for 14 hours.
193
00:10:40,252 --> 00:10:41,981
Well, get pissy if you want, Mom.
194
00:10:42,087 --> 00:10:43,111
I've enjoyed the time
we've had as a family.
195
00:11:05,078 --> 00:11:07,911
- What is it? What did you do?
- You almost shot me, you son of a bitch!
196
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,004
That's because you yelled!
197
00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:11,984
No, you shot the gun first.
That's why I yelled!
198
00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:16,250
"That's why I yelled."
I'm watching you, buddy.
199
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,155
There's gotta be some clue in here
200
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,093
that'll tell us
where Stewie might have gone.
201
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:40,308
- Wow! Look at all this cool stuff!
- Man, what do you think these things do?
202
00:11:43,055 --> 00:11:44,113
Guess it doesn't do anything.
203
00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:45,655
Well, that seems odd.
204
00:11:46,858 --> 00:11:50,852
- Oh, my God, Peter! You're me!
- Holy crap!
205
00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:53,291
Sweet!
206
00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:00,462
Squeeze, squeeze.
207
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,003
What does this do?
208
00:12:08,515 --> 00:12:11,212
Admiral, there be whales here!
209
00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:14,788
All right, pull in here.
210
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:19,655
The CIA. What the hell are we doing here?
211
00:12:19,762 --> 00:12:22,822
You'll need CIA credentials, Brian.
What do you want your alias to be?
212
00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:23,989
What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna...
213
00:12:24,099 --> 00:12:26,067
- Pick a name for yourself!
- Willem Dafoe.
214
00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:27,966
Not that one. I used to have
a Willem Dafoe living under my bed.
215
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:35,051
Hey, you asleep yet?
216
00:12:36,858 --> 00:12:38,985
- No.
- Just checking.
217
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:53,636
What exactly are you looking for?
218
00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:57,401
According to my schematics,
it should be right in here.
219
00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:01,843
Well, this isn't quite right, is it?
220
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,082
Hello, gentlemen.
221
00:13:04,182 --> 00:13:06,811
Great day to be protecting freedom,
wouldn't you say?
222
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:10,480
Yeah, US of freakin' A. We're number one.
223
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,719
- Space shuttle and all that.
- Terrific.
224
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,887
- Hello, Smith. How are you today?
- Fine, sir. What's new?
225
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,760
Do you know what I heard this morning?
226
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:22,064
Apparently, Rob Schneider goes down
to Home Depot...
227
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,001
And pays the migrant workers
to come home and choke him
228
00:13:24,105 --> 00:13:25,129
while he masturbates in the shower.
229
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,937
- Yeah, he's been doing that for years.
- Sick bastard.
230
00:13:36,953 --> 00:13:37,942
This is it, Brian.
231
00:13:38,055 --> 00:13:41,388
My plan for world domination
is about to come to fruition.
232
00:13:46,964 --> 00:13:48,431
Stewie, for God's sake,
they know we're here.
233
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:49,500
What are you trying to do?
234
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,466
Once I locate the proper code sequence,
235
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:54,061
this terminal will allow me
to take command of the satellites
236
00:13:54,173 --> 00:13:57,336
which control the world's power grid.
Once they're under my control,
237
00:13:57,443 --> 00:13:59,810
the entire world will be subject
to my whims.
238
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:05,134
Go away, you paperclip! No one likes you!
239
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,508
Open up in there,
or we're breaking down the door!
240
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,324
- I love you, Katie.
- I love you, too, Tom.
241
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,166
Oh, my God! I'm free!
242
00:14:30,405 --> 00:14:32,771
The force field is down! Go! Now!
243
00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,213
- I'd drop the gun if I were you, Joe.
- What? It's Stan.
244
00:14:39,315 --> 00:14:41,283
Sorry,
you look sort of like someone from...
245
00:14:41,384 --> 00:14:43,011
Anyway, I'd drop the gun if I were you.
246
00:14:43,119 --> 00:14:45,884
I now control
the entire planet's power grid,
247
00:14:45,989 --> 00:14:48,617
and unless you want me
to send you all back to the Dark Ages,
248
00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:50,784
you'll do exactly as I say.
249
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:53,258
What are your demands?
250
00:14:57,268 --> 00:14:59,566
We interrupt this program
to bring you a special message
251
00:14:59,671 --> 00:15:01,537
from the new president of the world.
252
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:03,264
Greetings, loyal minions.
253
00:15:04,443 --> 00:15:06,240
- Stewie?
- Oh, my God!
254
00:15:06,345 --> 00:15:07,312
What the hell!
255
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:08,438
Good gravy!
256
00:15:08,548 --> 00:15:11,142
SeƱor Rob Schneider,
you must come see the news!
257
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:14,687
I'm not paying you guys to watch TV.
Now get in the damn shower!
258
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,453
Brian, come here.
259
00:15:23,565 --> 00:15:26,432
I want you to hear my presidential address
for St. Rupert's Day.
260
00:15:26,535 --> 00:15:28,935
I'm unveiling all the new laws
I have passed.
261
00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:32,269
Screw off. I don't want anything to do
with you or your damn laws.
262
00:15:32,575 --> 00:15:33,837
Just take a look, will you?
263
00:15:35,912 --> 00:15:38,313
You're banning straight-to-video
Disney films?
264
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:43,580
Absolutely. I mean, look at this.
Jafar May Need Glasses.
265
00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:46,182
Number one, number two.
266
00:15:49,561 --> 00:15:51,825
Number one, number two.
267
00:15:53,699 --> 00:15:56,793
About the same.
Number one might be a tiny bit better.
268
00:15:56,903 --> 00:16:01,101
- Number three, number four.
- Number three.
269
00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:03,369
Five and six.
270
00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:09,110
Five and six.
271
00:16:12,687 --> 00:16:13,881
About the same?
272
00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:17,322
Yeah, they're pretty much...
Can I see five one more time?
273
00:16:17,426 --> 00:16:21,385
- Five and six.
- Yeah, they're about the same.
274
00:16:23,832 --> 00:16:24,857
Greetings, unwashed masses.
275
00:16:26,505 --> 00:16:29,235
The following laws
will go into effect immediately.
276
00:16:29,341 --> 00:16:32,209
Henceforth, sexual intercourse is illegal.
277
00:16:32,311 --> 00:16:35,474
It is gross and disgusting
and punishable by death.
278
00:16:35,848 --> 00:16:39,808
Origami keeps my hands busy
and my mind off sex.
279
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:44,755
There we go. I made a swan.
Stewie's a good leader.
280
00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:48,993
I wonder how many of these swans
I can fit in my bum.
281
00:16:49,631 --> 00:16:51,462
In addition, from this day forward,
282
00:16:51,566 --> 00:16:53,466
all the nation's milk
must come from Hilary Swank's breasts.
283
00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:59,085
Hey, I don't give a damn what you want.
Just get the hell off of my property!
284
00:16:59,193 --> 00:17:01,787
Look, Hilary,
all I know is, it's breakfast time,
285
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,889
I've got this bowl of cornflakes,
and I gotta be at work at 9:00.
286
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,332
- So what are we gonna do here?
- Not so fast.
287
00:17:07,436 --> 00:17:10,463
Did you know you'd have
to eat 17 bowls of those cornflakes
288
00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:13,736
to get the same nutritional value
in one bowl of Total?
289
00:17:13,843 --> 00:17:16,641
Say, that's a lot easier
than eating 17 bowls!
290
00:17:16,746 --> 00:17:19,944
- And it's easier on my breasts!
- Everybody wins!
291
00:17:21,051 --> 00:17:24,714
Hilary Swank
Get your milk from her
292
00:17:24,822 --> 00:17:25,790
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
293
00:17:26,391 --> 00:17:29,292
Also, as I've had quite enough
of the fat man,
294
00:17:29,394 --> 00:17:32,386
anyone who sees Peter Griffin
must throw apples at him.
295
00:17:33,298 --> 00:17:34,664
Yeah, I'd like to make a deposit.
What the hell?
296
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:35,756
It's the law, sir.
297
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,618
Now, I have no doubt
298
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,694
that perhaps there may exist some
mild discontent amongst some of you
299
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,888
at the recent changes I have implemented.
300
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,227
Lest you be considering
any sort of uprising,
301
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,802
I warn you,
I am quite prepared to make an example
302
00:17:48,903 --> 00:17:53,067
of any undesirable elements.
And don't think I don't know who you are.
303
00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:56,969
As someday it may happen
That a victim must be found
304
00:17:57,079 --> 00:18:00,139
I've got a little list
I've got a little list
305
00:18:00,249 --> 00:18:03,685
Of society offenders
Who might well be underground
306
00:18:03,786 --> 00:18:06,915
And who never would be missed
Who never would be missed
307
00:18:07,023 --> 00:18:08,854
There's the white kid
With the baggy clothes
308
00:18:08,959 --> 00:18:10,483
Who's talking like he's black
309
00:18:10,593 --> 00:18:13,859
The girl you date who doesn't get
The jokes in Caddyshack
310
00:18:13,965 --> 00:18:17,264
The Asian guy who cuts in front
Of every single line
311
00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:20,736
And Britney Spears
For accidentally showing her vagine
312
00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:24,070
And Bill O'Reilly's
Ineffective dermatologist
313
00:18:24,176 --> 00:18:27,476
They'd none of them be missed
They'd none of them be missed
314
00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:30,515
He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
315
00:18:30,616 --> 00:18:34,780
And they'd none of them be missed
They'd none of them be missed
316
00:18:40,961 --> 00:18:44,523
There's the guy behind the news reporter
Waving like a fool
317
00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:47,760
And senator Bill Frist
I've got him on the list
318
00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:51,499
And the fat kid smiling warmly
While he's peeing in the pool
319
00:18:51,607 --> 00:18:54,770
He never would be missed
He never would be missed
320
00:18:54,877 --> 00:18:58,541
There's the foul-smelling boy
Who comes to school in camouflage
321
00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:01,947
And every bleeding member
Of the cast ofEntourage
322
00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:05,419
And while we're on the subject
HBO deserves a whack
323
00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:08,924
For ending The Sopranos
With a fucking cut to black
324
00:19:09,027 --> 00:19:12,360
And guys who when you shake their hand
Just bump you with their fist
325
00:19:12,463 --> 00:19:15,763
I don't think they'd be missed
I'm sure they'd not be missed
326
00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:19,065
He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
327
00:19:19,171 --> 00:19:23,541
And they'd none of them be missed
They'd none of them be missed
328
00:19:26,146 --> 00:19:29,583
There's the guy who sits beside you
And keeps farting on the plane
329
00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:32,982
And Shakira 's lyricist
I've got him on the list
330
00:19:33,087 --> 00:19:36,717
And the smarty on Thanksgiving
Who says it's the tryptophane
331
00:19:36,825 --> 00:19:39,988
He never would be missed
He never would be missed
332
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:43,690
There's the blonde who tells you loudly
With a voice just like a knife
333
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:47,236
'"You know, someone should do a sitcom
Based around my life'"
334
00:19:47,336 --> 00:19:50,669
The guy who watchedThe Simpsons
Back in 1994
335
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,937
And won't admit the damn thing
Isn't funny anymore
336
00:19:54,244 --> 00:20:00,013
And anyone and everyone
Who's ever made me pissed!
337
00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:02,609
Made me pissed
Made me really, really pissed
338
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,382
I've got them on the list
339
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:11,754
They'd none of them be missed!
340
00:20:11,864 --> 00:20:14,766
He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
341
00:20:14,868 --> 00:20:16,460
And they'd none of them be missed
342
00:20:16,570 --> 00:20:21,303
They'd none of them be missed
343
00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:23,240
None of them be missed
344
00:20:24,412 --> 00:20:26,141
That is enough!
345
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:27,942
Peter, I am not gonna stand by
346
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:31,019
while other people suffer
at the hands of my own baby.
347
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:35,352
I brought Stewie into this world.
It's time for me to take him out.
348
00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:36,424
How the hell are you gonna do...
349
00:20:37,593 --> 00:20:38,561
Sorry, Dad!
350
00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:41,824
That's okay, Chris.
You're a good boy following the law.
351
00:20:41,931 --> 00:20:43,558
But you, Meg, you're going to jail.
352
00:21:00,088 --> 00:21:03,058
All right, Peter, I'm going to kill Stewie.
Dinner's in the oven.
353
00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:06,184
All you have to do is turn it to 350
at about 5:15.
354
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,058
- Yeah, okay, Lois.
- Are you listening?
355
00:21:08,163 --> 00:21:09,461
- Yeah.
- What did I just say?
356
00:21:09,566 --> 00:21:11,830
Turn the oven to 350 at 5:15. I heard it!
357
00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:16,834
All right, sir,
your presidential portrait is finished.
358
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:17,965
Let me see.
359
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:20,338
Excellent.
360
00:21:20,444 --> 00:21:23,242
Much better than the one Gary Larson did.
361
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:27,347
Why would I even be talking to a chicken?
362
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,013
Lois!
363
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:35,686
Stewie, your reign of terror
has come to an end.
364
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:39,288
I will not stand by
while you make innocent people suffer.
365
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,336
Bring it on, bitch. Time for me to finish
what I started anyway.
366
00:23:17,977 --> 00:23:23,314
Go ahead, Lois, do it. Shoot me.
Shoot your little baby Stewie.
367
00:23:30,525 --> 00:23:35,691
I can't do it. You're a terrible, evil child,
but you're still my baby,
368
00:23:35,798 --> 00:23:38,460
and I could never hurt you.
369
00:23:38,567 --> 00:23:40,899
Well, that works out perfectly,
because I can hurt you.
370
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,905
Say hi to Cleveland for me.
Oh, and Mr. Weed.
371
00:23:53,784 --> 00:23:56,981
It's just been revoked.
372
00:23:57,087 --> 00:23:59,579
Peter, he didn't really set you up
for that Lethal Weapon line.
373
00:23:59,691 --> 00:24:01,090
It doesn't really work here.
374
00:24:02,294 --> 00:24:05,128
I'll have what she's having.
375
00:24:05,231 --> 00:24:07,199
That's better.
376
00:24:28,657 --> 00:24:31,592
Hey, Stewie, we got a postcard
from Peter and Lois on the cruise.
377
00:24:31,694 --> 00:24:32,991
What are you doing?
378
00:24:33,095 --> 00:24:36,031
Oh, hello, Brian.
Well, you recall my complaining about Lois
379
00:24:36,132 --> 00:24:38,430
- and the fat man not taking me with them?
- Yeah.
380
00:24:38,535 --> 00:24:41,129
Yes, well,
you said I didn't have it in me to kill Lois,
381
00:24:41,238 --> 00:24:44,504
so I was just running a simulation
to find out exactly how killing her
382
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:46,509
and taking over the world
would play out for me.
383
00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:50,308
- Yeah? How'd that go?
- Not well, Brian. Not well.
384
00:24:50,414 --> 00:24:54,146
I suppose I'm not ready to kill Lois
or take over the world.
385
00:24:54,253 --> 00:24:55,220
Yet.
386
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,720
So, what you're saying is
that what you experienced
387
00:24:57,823 --> 00:25:00,657
in the simulation
didn't really happen or even matter.
388
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,729
- Yes, that's correct.
- So it was sort of like a dream.
389
00:25:03,830 --> 00:25:05,229
No, it was a simulation.
390
00:25:05,331 --> 00:25:07,960
Yes, but theoretically,
if someone watched the events
391
00:25:08,068 --> 00:25:10,229
of that simulation from start to finish,
392
00:25:10,337 --> 00:25:12,669
only to find out
that none of it really happened...
393
00:25:12,773 --> 00:25:17,108
I mean, you don't think that would be
just like a giant middle finger to them?
394
00:25:17,212 --> 00:25:19,908
Well, hopefully,
they would have enjoyed the ride.
395
00:25:20,015 --> 00:25:23,383
I don't know, man. I think you piss
a lot of people off that way.
396
00:25:23,486 --> 00:25:25,351
Well, at least it didn't end
like The Sopranos,
397
00:25:25,454 --> 00:25:27,081
where it just cut to black in mid...