CROSBY: Listen, Principal Taylor
asked me to come here and spice it up,
and that's what I'm trying to do.
You don't like how I'm directing the play, Crosby?
That's fine. You spice it up however you like.
Have you met Uncle Adam's boss,
or mom's boyfriend or whatever?
AMBER: He's actually okay.
DREW: You think they're like, having sex?
We've got a problem.
ADAM: Gordon wants me to fire seven people so we don't go under.
CAMILLE: What did you say to my art teacher?
Well, I went to your little Portuguese pound cake,
and I told him to stay away from what's mine.
All this time in therapy! You haven't changed. You haven't changed a bit.
(ALARM BEEPING)
Oh, dear God.
A-ha! There's my girl. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks. This is quite the battle zone.
Yeah. Thank you so much for being my sous-chef today.
Well, I didn't have much of a choice.
That's not true. I could've had anybody help me. I had a lot of offers.
Ah, now you're just buttering me up.
No, it's because you know what you're doing,
and you're good under pressure,
and most importantly of all, you do what I say.
There it is.
Ohhh, it's gonna be fun. I promise.
Okay, so now, let's go over the plan.
This is... This is just the food assignments. Here is the oven schedule.
There's an oven schedule?
Absolutely. Well, we only have one oven, so you have to have a schedule.
So, okay. The turkey just went in. It comes out at 11:00.
Then the squash goes in and the sweet potatoes. Uh, then...
Renee, I am so excited you're joining us.
You have not lived until you've experienced a Braverman Thanksgiving.
Well, thank you for inviting me, Crosby.
Is it gonna be fun?
Well, it's gonna be the best time you ever had in your life.
We're gonna eat till we almost throw up,
and then we're gonna get on the football field and smash into each other.
Oh, Jabbar, we might not be there for the game. JASMINE: Oh, Ma, come on.
That's not true.
We might not still be there.
No, we have to be there for the football game. (SIGHS)
Um. Oh! Whoa, you... You made pie?
Oh, God. You sound like that's a bad thing.
Don't tell me you don't like pie.
No, I like pie.
It's just, um, my... My mom made a list.
And I think you were supposed to make stuffing.
I know. I saw the list. There's the stuffing. Here's pie.
But, um... Here's the thing. My sister was officially on pie duty, per the list.
And she gets a little intense during Thanksgiving.
RENEE: Crosby, it's Thanksgiving.
This is our family tradition.
We always have sweet potato pie and mincemeat. Is that a problem?
That is not a problem. The more pies, the merrier.
(LAUGHING)
RENEE: Okay.
TV ANNOUNCER: Oh, and Woodstock, I see, is not far behind.
Okay. (WHIRRING)
Mommy, we can't hear!
Sorry, sweetheart, it's just one more minute.
He's huge!
SYDNEY: I can't believe he has, like... Oh, come on.
SYDNEY: It's a balloon. And it's so high. JOEL: Yeah.
Mommy, look! It's Snoopy.
That's awesome, sweetheart.
Lemon juice. You're not even looking!
Lemon juice. I'm looking, sweetheart. It looks...
Mommy! I'm hungry. Sweetheart.
Why can't I eat anything? Can you give me a second here?
I'm hungry!
JULIA: Oh! Sydney!
Oh, boy. SYDNEY: I didn't mean to!
No, you just... You can't distract me when I'm working. I'm...
That was my rum raisin.
I didn't mean to.
Okay. Okay, it's okay. It's okay.
Uh, you know, we've still got the apple.
Mom's gonna kill me. I'm gonna...
Okay. Well.
(JULIA EXHALING LOUDLY)
Okay. You guys go. Okay?
I got this. Yep.
JULIA: Let's go, sweetheart.
JOEL: Ah, the holidays. Let's go. Come on.
(SIGHS)
Hey, Adam.
Thanks for coming in on Thanksgiving.
There's something I wanted to talk to you about.
Yeah. What's going on, Gordon?
Um, I've decided to sell the company.
Okay, listen, Gordon, I know
that things have been rough and you've been thinking about selling the company...
It's sold. Last night.
All right.
So, you just talked to these guys and then
you just sold the company in one night.
Obviously not. It closed last night.
Right, Right. Because this has been in the works for months.
That's why you had me fire those seven people,
to make the company more attractive for a sale.
It's my company. Yeah, it is your company, and you know what?
I've been working here for 15 years. For over 15 years!
And even though I don't have a stake in the company, which...
You know what? My mistake, years ago.
But I would think that I would at least be
in the loop on something like this.
Well, that's not how it worked out.
Well, did you tell anybody else? No.
You tell Sarah?
Nobody. It's totally confidential until the deal's announced.
I didn't want it to get out on the street,
and have you find out from somebody else.
I wanted you to hear it from me. Hmm.
I figured that I at least owed you that.
And I also didn't want it to be, you know, awkward later.
Later? At dinner.
Er, what dinner? My... My family's dinner?
Thanksgiving.
Sarah invited me over for it. I think.
Yeah. Sarah invited me over for Thanksgiving.
She told me she was gonna tell you.
Nah, she didn't tell me. I didn't know about that.
Well, I was invited.
So, if that's it?
Listen, I'm really hoping that we can still be friends.
Hey, Gordon.
I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't come
to my family's Thanksgiving dinner.
Well, your family's expecting me.
Well, Monday morning, I'm gonna have to come here and face our staff
and let them know the company's been sold,
because I know you're not gonna handle that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. So, I would like
to have my holiday with my family.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Honey, I don't... I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.
I'm just... This is... Yeah.
We're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. It's just...
You know what?
Why would he do that?
I am not gonna let this ruin our day. That's right.
And we are gonna have a happy...
Yes, we are. ...Thanksgiving. Okay?
Mom, Dad! Look! Look, Haddie helped me make a spreadsheet
for all the Thanks... For all the Thanksgiving football stuff. Look.
It's got a place for Jabbar's tackles... KRISTINA: Oh, cool.
Passes, runs and the final score. The Turkey Bowl,
now we're talking! Okay. ALL: Yeah!
That is very cool, Max.
That's very nice of your sister to help you.
Very, very nice.
Do you need help cooking? Or cutting this cantaloupe?
Yeah. You want to help me?
Yeah. What? Okay.
Nothing. You just seem like you're in a really good mood these days.
It makes me happy. Very nice.
Is it just because I'm... I'm cutting cantaloupe
on Thanksgiving? No, we're not using that.
Well, that, and five days of no sarcasm.
You've been counting. You know what, don't jinx it.
She's helping. Okay?
All right. I just can't think of anything...
All right. KRISTINA: Unprecedented here.
Let's check out these stats.
Your taste buds just aren't developed yet.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi, Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
It already smells so good.
CAMILLE: Sweetie, will you... Whoa! No, no. Uh-uh.
Pass me that herb mix. Never mind, I got it. Yuck, gross.
SARAH: Where's Dad?
Um, in the barn. Avoiding helping out.
I wanted to ask you guys something. Um...
You know my friend, Gordon, didn't have anything to do for Thanksgiving.
So I said it would probably be okay if he came to ours. Is it?
(SIGHING)
SARAH: That's okay?
Sure.
AMBER: Mom, come on.
Oh, no. Er... I'll just adjust the seating arrangements.
SARAH: We'll squeeze him in, right?
You like him.
Oh, love him. What a sweetheart.
SARAH: Easy. I'd marry him myself, if I could.
He's really looking forward to meeting you.
Uh...
I don't know. It's just kind of weird.
It's Uncle Adam's boss. It's...
(SIGHS)
He's a nice guy. He's my boss, too.
That's so weird.
I know.
CAMILLE: Yeah, well, I'll just make, UM... I'll just make another place card.
SARAH: Thanks.
Hey. Hey.
I just had to get out of the kitchen, 'cause it's crazy.
Oh, yeah. The hens are clucking, huh?
Yeah. Like the view. Here. You can
pump this football up. There's the pump, have at it.
Hey, Drew? Can I... Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
Huh? Yeah.
Okay, it's... It's kinda like, uh, man to man. You know?
It's gotta be confidential. Okay.
But, I need you to be very honest. Yeah, I will.
Okay, let's say that you had a girlfriend.
I don't, but yeah.
It's hypothetical. Okay.
Let's say you had a girlfriend,
and the girlfriend cheated on you.
But you found out about it and you were mad.
Yeah.
But you figured out a way to work through it,
you know, where you could stay together. Hmm.
Yeah. You with me so far? Yeah.
Well, anyway, she wants to take an art class, your girlfriend.
Okay.
And she wants to take it from the guy she cheated with.
Okay? Okay.
So, what would you do? Would you swallow your pride,
I mean, just let it go, or would you go talk
to the guy man to man?
I think you should talk to him. Definitely.
Right.
Yeah, I mean... You know, you don't want him
seducing her with his bad hotel art.
Right. Yeah.
You know, I thought that's why you were out here.
Avoiding Grandma, right?
CAMILLE: Voila! AMBER: Let's stand back!
(ALL CHEERING)
SARAH: That is really impressive!
She's been looking forward to this part.
Teenager with a blow torch. That's a great idea.
Hey-o! Happy Thanksgiving! A-team's here!
Hi! Welcome! Hey!
(ALL CHATTERING)
Oh, somebody's in a suit!
So where is that outspoken husband of yours?
Who? Zeek?
He's out in the barn. Getting drunk as usual.
He's not. That's a joke.
CROSBY: Um, Mom, Renee made stuffing,
uh, which was on the list, and then also made some couple pies.
RENEE: Sweet potato, mincemeat. It's like our family tradition.
So, we have one of everything, I think!
Okay. So, I hope you have another apron here, honey.
Um, No. These are our only aprons today.
Well, there's no way I'm just gonna stand around and watch, so, um...
No, you're gonna go in the next room and relax. Um, look, apron's coming off.
Uh, everything's pretty much done. Go relax.
She won't let anybody help.
Let's go see the garden, Mom.
Yeah, don't even... It's pretty spectacular.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Yeah, the garden is gorgeous.
MAX: Are the M&M's out yet? Here they are.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hey! Hi.
Happy Thanksgiving!
You look beautiful!
(ALL GREETING)
No, you're cracked. We can't seat Adam and Gordon next to each other
because they will bore everyone with their talk of, you know, work and me.
I don't wanna be sitting across from Joel
because he thinks I stole the play from him.
Move Joel, put Renee here, you and Jasmine down on the end.
I want Renee to have a good time.
I can't sit her with the surly teenagers.
We need more... Ooh, Kristina.
Oh, she could sit anywhere.
We use her as a buffer. She's Switzerland.
Yeah, can we clone her and sit her next to all the difficult people?
Wow, what are you guys doing?
We need to clone her. Oh, nothing!
Oh! Place card police!
You guys are busted. I'm gonna tell Mom.
CROSBY: Just making sure everyone's names are spelled right.
Does that say Gordon?
This, yes. Oh!
I forgot to tell you, Gordon's coming to Thanksgiving.
Yeah, Sarah. I don't think he's coming.
No, no. I invited him last night.
I just forgot to tell you, sorry.
And then I spoke with him more recently and I
asked him not to come.
Oh, Adam. Why would you do that?
Things have been really tense at work
and I don't want to spend my Thanksgiving with the guy, all right?
It's not your Thanksgiving, it's just a... You know, he's my date.
Can't you put that aside? Oh, here we go.
What are you looking at?
MAX: Look! Dad, did you see that? It's a Porsche Panamera S!
Have you seen this, guys?
You know Porsche, huh?
I don't know who that could be.
It's not my Porsche.
It's not? I wonder whose it is.
Boy, this is a tough one.
I don't know if I'm supposed to be hoping it is him, or not him.
My mother can be tough, but flattery will get you everywhere.
Tell her you like her green bean casserole and you'll be in.
Got it. Hey, what happened with Adam?
He told me this morning you weren't coming. I was worried.
It's no big deal. I'm here, right?
Yes, you are.
All right, but you know, it's nice for Sarah
to not be alone for once on the holidays.
You gotta think about that, right?
Yeah, I know that. But it's just a lot of stuff
going on at work I don't really wanna talk about.
And now, you know, I just don't want him here. That's all. Hey.
All right. Hey, I got this for you.
You got me sparkling cider?
Yeah. You guys are still trying to have a baby, right?
Yes. Thank you.
Well, it's not a Braverman Thanksgiving without a little wine.
And that'd be a red flag if you didn't have any.
More scotch. Your brother's an idiot.
Cut the guy some slack, would you?
He's just trying to impress his future mother-in-law.
Actually, I think this is about the quest for the kindergarten play.
It's kind of a Battle Royale.
Really?
The kindergarten play... You're having a little tiff with Cros?
Yeah, babe thinks that Crosby has stolen it from him.
Oh, drama!
Baby thinks that Cros has stolen it from him!
Thank you, honey. That didn't make me sound petty at all.
I tell you what, you guys can settle this
on the football field, all right? Haddie!
Come here. It's time for us
to come up with some of those trick plays.
Statue of Liberty play? You were big on.
I'm gonna make a round. ADAM: Okay.
Boy, Daddy's little tomboy's just growing up so fast.
All right, save it for the theatre, Sondheim.
Hey, would you slow down? You're... You're not even listening to me.
No, I am listening, Crosby. I mean, good God. Thank you.
I gotta tell you. I love you. You're my son,
and I would give you my kidney, if I could.
But you're not carving the Thanksgiving turkey.
Do you know what I'm dealing with right now? I mean,
Renee thinks I'm some irresponsible kid and I... Listen, Dad.
I gotta be the man of the house.
Well, so get your own house.
Wait, hey. Hey. What is the big deal?
I'm sorry, what?
What's the big deal?
Son, a man has a certain relationship with his Thanksgiving bird, okay.
I don't know what to call it exactly, and...
Plus, I paid for the damn thing, so I'm carving it.
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey! Here, Dad. I will reimburse you
for the special relationship you have with your bird.
What are they, like, 80 cents a pound or something? How...
Are you serious?
How deep are you into this bird?
Oh, gosh. You don't have to do that, really?
I mean, you really wanna do it?
Yeah, I know it's stupid, but yeah.
All right. You can carve my bird.
For real? Yeah.
Thank you.
(SIGHS)
And, um, Renee's gonna wanna hear some kind of a prayer before dinner starts.
Something religious or Old Testament, or... I don't know. Something...
Just a heads up.
JULIA: You two are slaving away in here.
Uh-huh, yep. We're getting close now.
You need help with anything?
No, I think we're okay.
All right. I'm just gonna pop this in for a little bit.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where do you think you're going?
It needs to start heating so we can have it after.
No, no. I've been told about you. There's an oven schedule, my friend.
Yeah, there's an oven schedule.
Okay, so I'm on it for later. Yeah, we'll squeeze you in.
Can I have a Squeezer?
No, sweetie, it's almost time to eat.
But Max is having them.
I don't want you to ruin your appetite, okay?
Mommy, I'm hungry! And why can't I have one if Max is having one?
It doesn't matter what Max is doing.
It's not fair! I want a Squeezer.
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
You're welcome, sweetie.
Gotta choose your battles, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Right.
No, I'm always out of the loop.
I know, just say hi real quick.
Um, Gordon. Hey. I just wanted you to...
Hey! This is Drew.
Drew, how's it going?
Nice to meet you. All right. Pleasure to meet you, too.
What's going on? How's school?
Uh, it's fine.
Really? Yeah.
You, uh, you playing ball?
No.
Just school.
You... You did, though. You played baseball. Hey.
Oh, look it's mom's meatballs.
They are meatballs.
Well, I gotta, um, I gotta go find Grandpa.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Hi. Hi.
How are you? Nice to see you.
Good to see you. You look gorgeous, of course.
Oh, thanks. As always.
So, I know what happened with the company.
I... Yeah, I would imagine you would.
I just hope that you made the right decision.
I think I did.
Yeah? Hmm.
Okay.
And he, uh, he just wants to change them over.
Excuse me for one second.
Hey, Max, can you please remember to share?
No, I don't like sharing.
Max. It's not fun sharing.
Max. Share with the younger kids.
No, I'm not sharing.
He's got a point.
Ladies. Uh, I've been asked to invite you in.
What is this I hear about you, uh,
carving up the Thanksgiving Day turkey? What's that?
Yeah, what about it? Well, that's my job.
Uh, technically, I think, it's Dad's job.
Yes, well, in the event that the patriarch can't perform his carving duty,
I'm pretty sure that falls to the eldest son, which would be me.
Mmm-hmm. Thanks for the hierarchy lesson.
It's like a law.
If we were having this dinner in 1300s, yeah, that would probably make some sense.
You're messing with the universe.
Crosby taking over something. That is shocking.
Yeah.
Crosby! Ah, come on, goose. I asked you to call everybody together.
Yeah, I'm trying, okay?
They're not listening to me. Have you seen your dad?
Can't find him anywhere.
She asked you to call everybody to dinner. Would you do that, please?
Yeah, okay.
You are such a disappointment to her.
You put me in a bad position.
Seriously, I don't know why you're her favorite.
Hey.
Still avoiding Grandma?
(CHUCKLES) Is that a yes?
No, well, I'd like to use your computer cause I got to find a prayer.
Oh, okay.
Is that okay? Yeah.
(GRUNTS)
So, who are you avoiding?
What do you mean?
Everybody's downstairs having fun, and here you are, Mr. Solitary.
I don't know. It's just Mom with that guy.
Gordon? Yeah.
Don't you think it's weird?
I don't know, he seems like a nice guy.
I mean, you want your mom to be happy, don't you?
I don't know. She barely even told us he was coming.
And now he's here, and it's all about, you know,
she brought some guy with her. I don't know.
It's Thanksgiving, you know. It's supposed to be about family,
not who she's dating.
Hmm.
Does this have anything to do with your dad?
I don't know. Maybe.
It's true, you know your dad, Seth,
he gets a bad rap around this house a lot,
you know, and I'm the worst offender.
And I'm sorry, you know? I owe you an apology. It's just not right.
It's okay. I guess I understand.
No, it's not okay. He's your father.
And you have a right to miss him, and you have a right to love him.
I mean, there's no shame in that.
You know, grandson, let me tell you something.
You are an extraordinary young man.
There's a depth to you that's just truly remarkable for someone of your age.
I'm there for you if you need me, you know.
Yeah. Yep.
Okay.
I can still do that, can't I?
Go for it.
(LAUGHING)
FEMALE VOICE: Your call has been forwarded
to an automatic messaging system.
(BEEP)
Yeah. Uh, Seth, Zeek Braverman here. Listen, uh...
You're not there so, I'm gonna leave a message.
You know, last time you and I talked, uh, didn't go so well and, uh,
we don't have the greatest history together, so, uh...
I'm gonna ask you for a favor.
You need to call your son, Seth. He misses you,
and it's Thanksgiving, you know?
So, please would you give him a call?
Thanks.
CAMILLE: Toast! Yeah.
Can I have your attention for just a second?
AMBER: Are you gonna tell it, though?
HADDIE: Yes. You may.
JULIA: No, who're you referring to? Hey.
What are you doing?
Nothing. I'm saying a prayer.
You're saying a prayer? Yeah.
I thought we'd say a prayer. SARAH: Seriously?
That's a good idea.
Just could everybody please stand and...
CROSBY: Yeah.
Let's say a prayer here. CROSBY: Come on, this is nice.
CROSBY: Thanksgiving, come on. We'll say a prayer.
Julia!
JULIA: What are we doing? Why are we standing?
ZEEK: Okay, here we go. Hey, uh, uh, well... Dear Father,
I know we don't talk much, but it's a special day.
I am a grateful, grateful man for my lovely wife, Camille.
I thank you for this food, and please bless the hands that prepared it.
And I wanna thank you for this wonderful, beautiful family
and incredibly beautiful children,
wonderful grandkids and new people here today that...
That we accept into our home and into our hearts.
And again, thank you for your love and protection and guidance.
Please, uh, watch over my son Crosby and... So he doesn't mangle
my $200 butterball turkey.
This is Zeek Braverman, over and out. Thank you.
Amen. ALL: Amen.
Roger that.
JULIA: You're carving? You're carving?
(ALL CHATTERING)
I was wondering. Why this year? It seems too soon.
CAMILLE: Ah, no, no, no.
(MURMURING INDISTINCTLY)
Okay. Sorry, we...
Oh, man that's gonna amputate it.
Oh, my goodness!
(ALL CHEERING)
Can I have the gravy?
(ALL CHATTERING)
Hey, Gordo. Tell me something. Now what happened to that, uh, clicker shoe idea?
Come on, Dad, can we please?
It's a great idea though.
I mean it's not dead, is it?
It was a great idea.
Terrific idea! But like many great ideas, sometimes...
You know what. It didn't test well, so we had to shelve it.
You know, it's Thanksgiving. Can we not talk about work?
ZEEK: It's not about work, Adam, this is about Sarah.
Let's not talk about Sarah.
Hey, um, where's the Golden Turkey?
Oh, thank you!
Mom! Mom! Where's the golden Turkey?
What's that?
It's the MVP award for the best player in the football game.
Yeah, uh... Who's the reigning champ?
It's Haddie, two years in a row!
She got 87% of the first place votes.
ADAM: My little secret weapon. Right there. Secret weapon.
Not a secret if everybody knows it.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Wasn't me. Not mine.
Excuse me one second. I just have to take this call. I apologize.
SARAH: That's okay. It's work.
Sorry. The food's delicious.
CROSBY: You gotta... You gotta buy low and sell high.
Why don't you return that shirt from the matador you stole it from?
That's an awfully important phone call from the hair gel trade association.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Can everyone be more thankful for each other?
I'm so thankful that he got a phone call.
Sarah, honey, he's a lot better than some of those doozies
you used to bring around here.
Tell me about it.
Sorry, the Bravermans, we like to weigh in, you know?
Just remind me not to leave the table.
Remember that stripper that Crosby brought one Halloween?
She was not a stripper. She was a massage therapist.
And a healer. She was a healer.
She was exotic... She was an exotic massage therapist.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Oh! Now who's getting a call?
Whose is that, Crosby?
It's Dad.
SARAH: What? It's Dad.
Hey, yeah.
GORDON: Okay, this is delicious. I don't know what goes into
making a mincemeat pie, but this is absolutely fabulous.
Delicious, Camille.
Um, actually, Renee made the mincemeat pie. And the sweet potato, too.
This is sweet potato? I thought it was pumpkin.
It's really good. It's really good.
You know, I wanna try some of your, uh, rum raisin. It's got booze in it, yeah?
Oh, Cros, it does, but don't... Don't do that. Spare yourself.
It's a disaster.
No, it's not, Julia, I've got some and it's very good, honey.
Well, rum raisin is really a very ambitious choice.
You know, I'm amazed that you even attempted it.
Amber, hey, Dad wants to talk to you.
Okay, well, you can tell him I'll call him back.
Amber!
Well, he just wants to say hi, it's not like a big thing.
I said that I'll call him back, okay?
Hey, yeah. She doesn't want to talk right now.
Tell him I'm in a meeting.
Mommy, can I have Oreos?
No, sweetie, not now.
But Max is having them.
Well, Max... Just... Let's not worry about what Max is doing.
Why can't I have Oreos?
Sweetie, because I said no, and because we worked really hard making these pies.
Julia! Come on.
Mom, leave me alone, please. Just...
Syd, if you want dessert, you're having pie.
Okay? That's all. Just... You understand that?
Um... I am gonna go, too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going?
Yeah, where are you going?
I'm going down to the food bank. I'm volunteering.
GORDON: Did you know about this? No, I didn't know about this.
It's not a big deal. It's fine.
Wait, wait, What about the football game? The secret weapon?
It's fine. I'm just gonna miss it this year.
I mean, it... I'm going to help charity. And Amber's not even playing.
Hey, hey. I've been at it since 5:00 in the morning.
Don't you think I deserve a break?
Okay. Hold on a second. You are not leaving
the family Thanksgiving dinner.
Actually, you know, Thanksgiving is the busiest day
of the year at the food bank.
You know, we're not gonna just get up in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner
and give you a ride into Oakland, okay?
I didn't ask you to. I'm taking the bus, and it leaves in seven minutes.
KRISTINA: You have a bus schedule?
Okay, okay. All right, you know what?
You're doing a good thing. Fine. Go. Whatever.
You sure? Yup.
Okay, honey, call me as soon as you're done. You're not taking the bus home late.
Oh, Haddie. I'm gonna miss you. Gosh, darn it.
I think that'll be my cue as well.
I, uh, told a friend I would stop by for dessert on the way home.
Well, you know, I mean, the football really is the best part.
GORDON: You know, I promised a friend that I'd stop.
Hey, if the man wants to go, let him go.
ZEEK: Well, hey, Gordo, I mean, you're not intimidated
by what might take place on the old gridiron, are you?
All right, Dad, come on.
GORDON: I played a little football, back in the day.
St. Mark's Lions, class of '83, outside linebacker.
Really. 'Cause you haven't. I didn't know that you played football.
You never asked.
It's just you don't look like a linebacker.
Really? How would you know?
GORDON: I've played a little football.
ZEEK: Okay, so I'm liking this. Why don't we
take this out to the field itself and then have some fun. I'm liking this.
She's overplaying it.
SARAH: So what else? What did he say? Where is he?
I don't know, Mom. He's on tour.
He's on the road.
Well, at least he remembered a holiday, huh?
Yeah. And? And what else?
Just the same as usual, Mom. I don't know.
Well, what do you mean? What's usual?
Are you trying to get me to like...
I don't know what you're trying to get me to say.
I'm not trying to get you to do anything.
I didn't tell him about Gordon, or anything,
if that's what you're trying to imply.
It's not what I'm trying to imply. All right?
I haven't talked to him in a while and...
Well, call him. I'm glad he called. Okay?
I'm glad he called. Yeah, me too.
Come on, let's play.
A little Braverman 101, sister in-law to sister in-law?
They take this game really, really seriously.
Watch out. We are.
I'm doing it. I'm doing it!
Stretch it out, okay? Stretch it out.
I'm stretching. They are committed and they are crazy.
Now, the kids like to run around and have fun.
Zeek is completely off-limits. You cannot touch him.
He's neutral, okay? Okay. Everybody else is fair game.
You take them down. Take 'em down.
Right on. Okay? And we keep score.
I would hope so.
Okay, I will take Jasmine and Jabbar.
(CHEERING)
Why, because they're black?
No, Dad, because Jasmine's a dancer and she's athletic
and because Jabbar's a super-fine stud. Am I right?
All right, I got the young buck, and the lovely Julia.
Listen up.
Let's get it on!
Thanksgiving! Rum raisin!
T Gordon Levy!
Behind.
Go, go, go. Come on!
Touch down!
That's my man, yeah!
Einstein, she's on the other team.
Hey, you allowed to play in your cycle?
That's funny.
Go. Oh, where you going?
Nice of your mother to loan you that nice sweatpants suit.
I've got the ball back there, son.
If you need your mommy, you're a commy.
ZEEK: Here we go.
(GRUNTING)
You all right? You can tie up now.
Alcasons and tin fins, I gotta take a wiz.
(ALL YELLING)
You've lost something over there, pal.
ADAM: Kapow, Max can't sit down! Let's go!
Oh!
All right!
I got a stepladder at home in my garage, if you need it.
No separation.
Guys, it's 35 to 35. This is the last play of the game.
Guys it's 35 to 35.
Yeah, 35 to 35. We gotta start...
Yeah, I want the ball.
Also, also if you don't score, it's a tie.
Yeah, thanks, mate. Okay. I appreciate it.
We don't care about tying.
No, we don't.
Jasmine over here, Cros, go to the end circle, okay.
Yeah, what about me? D corner.
What about me?
A decoy for this decoy.
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Blue banana! Poopy diaper!
Mao Tse Tung, go!
(ALL YELLING)
KRISTINA: Go, go, go, go!
You know what? It was at least a do-over, because
Crosby was doing a little holding, all right?
Touchdown.
You guys!
This is a turkey ball. Oh, what you making the rules now?
Adam. Hey, you guys, come on!
This is a turkey ball.
Oh, you calling penalties? Come on.
Easy, easy, it's just a game.
I don't... It doesn't matter. I don't care.
That's a big surprise 'cause you don't care about anything, do you?
He don't care about this game, he doesn't care about our family,
he doesn't care about Thanksgiving.
He sold the company, Sarah, last night!
Why wouldn't you tell anybody?
I didn't want to worry anybody because these types of deals fall apart all the time.
Not even Adam, not even me?
Are you worried about your job because I can get you
a hundred more just like it at a heartbeat.
I work for my brother. He helped me.
I know he did.
Just feel like you could have been better.
The truth is, it's that this is something I have thought about for a while.
It's business and it's something that I needed to do
and your brother, he's always gonna land on his feet.
Well, I'll miss you.
Oh, I wanna talk to you about that. I care about you, okay and I...
I need to go away for a little while.
I need to rethink things and travel and figure out what's next for me but...
I really do want us to stay connected.
I thought maybe you can meet me on the road
and we can continue to spend time together.
I can't do that.
I understand.
Thank you for having me into your home on Thanksgiving. I had a great time.
See ya later.
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
Hi!
Hey, you hungry again? I'll make you a plate.
There's lot of good stuff left.
No, I just came to apologize for earlier. I... You know.
With Sydney, I don't know. I just shouldn't be taking it out on all of you.
Well, don't worry about it.
Holidays are nothing if not stressful.
I was so looking forward to having this day with her
without my cell phone and everything and I just...
I blew it because my mind was on those stupid pies.
(CHUCKLES)
Trying to get them perfect, which I obviously did not do.
The pies were fine.
Look at your grin. (LAUGHS)
I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I know you never do but you set the bar pretty high.
I just... I know you think I spoil her, but...
You know when you work all day you come home, you want things to be
just good and happy and...
Have it be right.
I wanna have it be all, you know.
Julia.
My beautiful girl, I love you so much.
And I admire you so much.
You're an amazing mom.
So stop beating yourself up, okay?
Okay? Okay?
Okay.
How's your dad doing?
Uh, he's fine, I guess.
Well, wasn't that something, what happened out there today?
Yeah, I know.
Two guys going on, jeez!
You know I think, Uncle Adam could've taken him. Do you?
Yeah, well, if he couldn't, I would have.
Would have been fun to watch.
I loved every minute of it myself.
I liked it. There's something about fights. They're just fun to watch.
Oh, yeah. Fun to be in.
Go ahead.
Are you serious? Yeah!
Really? Yep!
If you tell your mother, you're dead.
I promise I won't.
(CHOKES) Oh, my gosh!
(LAUGHS)
Nothing like it.
That'll put hair on your chest.
That's really bad, yeah? Yeah!
Oh, look at this.
How you doing? (LAUGHS)
Okay, I don't even know where to start.
AMBER: Well you shouldn't have to start. I mean, you did everything else.
Well, unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
We should make it work that way.
You do everything around here.
You know, little things and big things and...
I don't know, I never see you get thanks, so, anyway,
you know, from me to you.
Thanks for everything. I appreciate it.
Thank you.
And, you know, for what it's worth,
I know that Papa really appreciates it too.
I know he doesn't really articulate it well or...
I don't know. It just seems to me like he is emotionally incapable.
But, you know, I can tell that he really cares.
So, anyway you know, why don't you take this and just... I don't know,
go do whatever you want, you know. Take a break.
Get out of here!
Really? Yeah.
Somebody else will do this.
You deserve it.
Well, I'm gonna take you up on that.
That was amazing!
Yeah, well, I couldn't have done it without you.
Thank you but I'm sure you would have been fine.
Thank you for having me. I mean...
That's Thanksgiving! (BOTH LAUGH)
Stupid thing to say but...
Well, thanks for coming. Are your parents cool with you being here?
You know, it is Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I mean, I had dinner with them at home so it's fine.
All right. Oh, okay.
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
MAX: Can I have another piece of pie when we get home?
Oh, Max, honey you've already had two. That's enough!
So? Do you remember last year?
Do you remember last year when I ate the whole chocolate cake?
And what happened? You got sick.
No, I didn't!
Okay we'll see.
Good night? Yeah, good night!
HADDIE: Oh, my God! Good night!
Uh, hey!
Hi.
You didn't call me or text me.
KRISTINA: Who was that?
Kid, man?
Uh, you know, Grandma introduced me to him.
He's really nice. His name is Alex.
Alex.
All right. Should we go?
Yep!
Don't you wanna say I told you so?
Nope.
I had no way of knowing, you know?
He's...
Feels pretty confident that you're gonna keep your job.
Yeah, I know.
Well, that's a good thing, right?
Yeah.
CROSBY: Look at these brown noses. What are you guys, running for a promotion?
Yes, I'm running for President of Thanksgiving.
Why don't you grab a towel?
Okay, you want me to tackle this, uh, disaster?
Hey, that was a pretty eventful Thanksgiving. Had a lot of fireworks.
Oh, yeah!
CROSBY: Adam taking on his boss.
Mano y mano, you breaking up with your boss.
Then young Julia making the world's worst pie.
Worst pie ever. And Crosby...
Well, actually I kind of sailed effortlessly
through this Thanksgiving with my future in-laws and my real family.
And I'm still getting married. ADAM: Uh-huh!
How do you do it?
And I carved that turkey like a samurai.
Very humble, too. Yeah.
You know what'd make this clean up really cool?
You punk!
CROSBY: A little music. Who's gonna start the dishes?
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
You start the dishes.
I'll start the dishes in a minute.
Yeah!
Yes, yes. What is that?
Where's fever?
What? Who's the party pooper?
Let's go, come on!
(ALL LAUGHING)
CROSBY: It's a slow roll, though, when he breaks it out.
Camille, can I ask you a question?
How much longer you gonna be mad at me?
I'm trying so hard not to be.
ZEEK: At least we're doing something right.