1 00:00:02,177 --> 00:00:04,691 It's amazing how much kids take after their parents. 2 00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:07,038 Dude, you know how when I daydream, I go like this? 3 00:00:07,557 --> 00:00:10,947 - Dude, you totally go like that. - Well, check Sam out. 4 00:00:11,186 --> 00:00:12,460 I wonder what he's thinking. 5 00:00:14,022 --> 00:00:17,173 Guys, Sammy's hungry. Can anybody help me out? 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:18,389 Sure, sure. 7 00:00:18,527 --> 00:00:20,722 Pass him over here. I'm about ready to burst. 8 00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:23,699 Thanks. I'd do it myself, but I'm all tapped out. 9 00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:26,296 Turk and I had a milk fight in the parking lot. 10 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:27,816 I lost. 11 00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:30,269 Okay, chief, latch on. It's right there. 12 00:00:30,455 --> 00:00:32,013 Latch. Latch. 13 00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:35,919 - He's latched. He's latched. - Dude, we said truce. 14 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,204 Count it. 15 00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,473 I'm off. You want to go shoot some hoops? 16 00:00:40,632 --> 00:00:42,145 I have a baby strapped to my chest. 17 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,118 - So I just won't pass to you. - Cool. Same as always. 18 00:00:45,303 --> 00:00:47,692 Or you could spend some quality time with your daughter. 19 00:00:47,889 --> 00:00:49,880 It seems like you're giving me a choice, 20 00:00:50,058 --> 00:00:51,616 but you're really not, are you? 21 00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:52,803 Nope, she's not. 22 00:00:52,936 --> 00:00:54,494 And the only way to get free will back 23 00:00:54,646 --> 00:00:57,365 is to stop caring if you ever get to hit that again. 24 00:00:57,566 --> 00:00:59,284 - Am I right? - Pretty much. 25 00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,259 Hey, Bob. 26 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,440 Some of the other board members were saying tomorrow's your birthday. 27 00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:06,647 - So how old does that make you? - Well, that depends. 28 00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:10,056 Are we talking dog years or horny old bastard years? 29 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,979 I'll be 58. 30 00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:15,424 I didn't know it was your birthday tomorrow! 31 00:01:15,584 --> 00:01:17,575 You are definitely getting a cake. 32 00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:19,549 What flavour do you want? Chocolate or vanilla? 33 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,431 Wait, don't answer. I'm gonna surprise you. 34 00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:23,735 It's going to be chocolate. I like chocolate. 35 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,317 Fun. 36 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,313 Could you also have them write "Mind Your Own Damn Business" 37 00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:32,870 in icing and then jam your face into it so the message really sinks in? 38 00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:39,888 How's your vacation going at your fire-breathing mother's house? 39 00:01:40,108 --> 00:01:41,860 Yeah, yeah, my mom's a dragon. 40 00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,746 I'm her hell spawn. We eat children, whatever. 41 00:01:44,946 --> 00:01:46,743 Listen Per, Jack misses you, and he won't go to sleep 44 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,348 You're four. 45 00:01:53,497 --> 00:01:54,532 I mean, people are actually even 46 00:01:54,664 --> 00:01:56,461 starting to understand about a third of what you say. 47 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,282 Fantastic. 48 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:06,301 Anyway, so no more silly voice. Okay there, Jumbo? 49 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,751 Solid parenting. 50 00:02:10,722 --> 00:02:11,837 Glad I could help. 51 00:02:12,641 --> 00:02:15,519 Damn, lzzy, you're looking good, girl. 52 00:02:15,727 --> 00:02:16,796 Thank you, Sam. 53 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,326 You not only have a soft spot in your heart, 54 00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:21,832 but you have one in your head. 55 00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,255 What do you say we hit up a Wiggles concert, 56 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,004 then go back to my crib and pop open some formula. 57 00:02:27,197 --> 00:02:28,755 See what happens. 58 00:02:28,907 --> 00:02:30,898 Come here and taste this brown sugar. 59 00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:34,602 Taste this brown sugar. 60 00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:38,106 Turk, we can't make them kiss until Sam can hold his head up for real. 61 00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:39,811 I miss this, man. 62 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,443 If I'm not at work, I'm taking care of lzzy. 63 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,541 I feel like I don't get to roll with you or just do goofy stuff. 64 00:02:45,757 --> 00:02:48,271 It's just that when I have Sam, I'm so busy, you know? 65 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:52,302 We're up at 6:00, I feed him, I bathe him, then it's poopy time. 66 00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:53,784 Then it's his poopy time. 67 00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:55,888 But that's why we need to get these two together right away. 68 00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:58,414 They need to get married so we can hang all the time. 69 00:02:58,603 --> 00:03:00,161 There's no guarantees, Turk. 70 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,031 The other day, I had Sam in the hospital, 71 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,782 and when Dr Cox brought in his daughter, 72 00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:05,375 he definitely turned his head. 73 00:03:06,444 --> 00:03:08,753 Okay, I turned it, but I could tell he wanted me to. 74 00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:12,948 There's plenty of fish in the sea, girl. I don't need you. 75 00:03:13,201 --> 00:03:17,558 Like, look at that. You are hot, baby. What is going on over there? 76 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,709 I wanna hit that. I wanna spank it good. 77 00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:24,114 I like a spanking. I wanna give it to you. 78 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,975 I'm sorry. Kids, huh? 79 00:03:26,381 --> 00:03:27,496 I'll talk to him. 80 00:03:43,064 --> 00:03:45,658 The second I saw Turk, I felt like he had huge news. 81 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,262 - Dude, I have huge news. - I knew it! 82 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:51,005 Carla gave me the afternoon off. No lzzy, just "me" time. 83 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,029 No way, dude! I'm off too, and Sam's at Kim's. 84 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,235 What should we do? 85 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,912 When's the last time we did something stupid? 86 00:03:57,078 --> 00:03:59,387 Well, we told Rex we'd cover his shifts next weekend 87 00:03:59,581 --> 00:04:00,855 if he agreed to follow Hooch 88 00:04:00,999 --> 00:04:03,354 everywhere he went and never tell him why. 89 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:08,295 Okay, I'm gonna ask you this one last time. 90 00:04:08,757 --> 00:04:11,476 - Do you need anything? - No. I'm cool. 91 00:04:19,851 --> 00:04:21,045 Hooch is crazy. 92 00:04:21,186 --> 00:04:23,859 I know. And the best part is Rex doesn't know Hooch is crazy. 93 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,895 Yeah, well, he'll know by the end of the day. 94 00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:29,881 Anyways, when's the last time we did something off-the-hook stupid? 95 00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:32,879 Probably not since the second day at college. Remember? 96 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:36,031 When it wasn't just the two of us. It was the three of us. 97 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,821 All right, you guys, I know we only met yesterday, 98 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,555 but I have a feeling we're gonna be best buds forever. 99 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:42,976 Hands in. 100 00:04:43,124 --> 00:04:44,398 Chocolate Bear! 101 00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:46,215 Vanilla Bear! 102 00:04:46,378 --> 00:04:47,606 Caramel Bear! 103 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,267 Bears for life! 104 00:04:49,881 --> 00:04:50,916 If we pull this prank off, 105 00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:53,279 we are gonna be the coolest freshmen on the whole campus. 106 00:04:53,468 --> 00:04:55,504 - Yeah, we are. - Let me do it! 107 00:04:56,138 --> 00:04:57,127 What? 108 00:05:05,897 --> 00:05:07,967 Rest in peace, Caramel Bear. 109 00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,289 Dude, just because we never saw Ricky on campus again 110 00:05:11,486 --> 00:05:12,475 doesn't mean he's dead. 111 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,728 His parents came and packed up all his stuff, Turk. 112 00:05:14,906 --> 00:05:17,898 And his roommate got straight A's that semester without even going to class. 113 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,233 All righty, then. 114 00:05:19,369 --> 00:05:21,360 How we feeling today there, Josh? 115 00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:24,871 I'm okay. Little tired, though. How about you? 116 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:29,296 Well, I'm 47 and recently lost the ability to break down dairy products, 117 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,502 but otherwise, I'm dandy. Thank you for asking. 118 00:05:32,174 --> 00:05:35,211 Whoa, TMI. Right, Josh? 119 00:05:35,427 --> 00:05:36,701 Too much information. 120 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:40,356 Tell you what. I'm gonna let you hang out with 121 00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,267 Nurse Early-'90s-Catch-Phrases here, 122 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,829 while your parents come out in the hallway, 123 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,046 and we have a little discussion. 124 00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:46,176 We will be back. 125 00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:50,931 Look, Josh's blood work shows that 126 00:05:51,109 --> 00:05:52,781 he's anaemic with a high white cell count. 127 00:05:52,944 --> 00:05:54,741 Now, we're not gonna know anything for sure 128 00:05:54,905 --> 00:05:56,657 until his bone marrow biopsy comes back, 129 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,302 but I'm afraid it might be leukaemia. 130 00:05:59,618 --> 00:06:00,687 Oh, my God. 131 00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:02,924 We'll hope for the best. 132 00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:09,737 Okay, listen up. 133 00:06:09,878 --> 00:06:11,391 I need everyone to clear their schedules tomorrow, 134 00:06:11,546 --> 00:06:14,014 because we're going to have a little party for Kelso's birthday. 135 00:06:14,466 --> 00:06:16,661 Kelso makes my life hell. 136 00:06:16,885 --> 00:06:18,557 Now, I know I usually cave, 137 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,359 but there's no way I'm going to his party. 138 00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:23,786 - I understand, Ted. - Fine, I'll go. 139 00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:25,044 Damn it! 140 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,174 So, I'm getting the cake. 141 00:06:26,311 --> 00:06:27,949 I just need someone to pick up the decorations. 142 00:06:28,104 --> 00:06:29,457 Fine, I'll get them. 143 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:30,755 What's happening? 144 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,147 And make sure you get 58 candles. 145 00:06:33,819 --> 00:06:37,016 58? He told me he turned 58 last year. 146 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,958 - Told me he was 58 three years ago. - Great. 147 00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:42,433 Can anyone help me find out Kelso's real age? 148 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:43,734 You rang? 149 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,270 I know you didn't. I just like saying that. 150 00:06:46,414 --> 00:06:47,972 Although, actually, I do hear bells. 151 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,577 But now they're gone. 152 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,810 - Anyway, I'll help. - Cool. 153 00:06:51,962 --> 00:06:53,361 - Okay, because I was wondering... - Hold it. 154 00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:54,790 They're back. 155 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,369 They're gone. 156 00:06:59,344 --> 00:07:00,936 No. Hang on. Go. 157 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:02,957 - Okay, because I thought... - Stop. Bells. 158 00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:04,880 Bells. Bells. 159 00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:06,377 No bells. 160 00:07:06,518 --> 00:07:07,792 - Why don't we start with the... - Stop. 161 00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:10,123 - Go. Stop. - I'm... 162 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,208 Okay, we're both off in an hour, so I've planned our plan. 163 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,722 You just used the same word twice in the same sentence. 164 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,132 You just did, too. 165 00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:21,749 That is so weird that I didn't even notice that I did that. 166 00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:23,099 Same word, four times, one sentence. 167 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,040 - Dude, you're in the zone. - I feel it. 168 00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:27,876 - What are we doing today? - Okay, we gotta go old-school. 169 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,560 Brace yourself on my arm. 170 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,116 World's Most Giant Black Doctor. 171 00:07:32,294 --> 00:07:34,364 Turk, I thought we agreed to save him for Black History Month 172 00:07:34,546 --> 00:07:36,059 or when we want to scare racist patients. 173 00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:39,126 I know, but that guy in 204 asked me if I wanted to finish his fried chicken. 174 00:07:39,342 --> 00:07:40,331 But you love fried chicken. 175 00:07:40,469 --> 00:07:43,541 And I ate that bad boy like it was my last meal, but I wasn't happy about it. 176 00:07:44,306 --> 00:07:47,457 - Fine. I'm in. - Good. Because I made this. 177 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,614 Oh, my God! It's awesome. 178 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,202 Carla, look what Turk made. 179 00:07:51,354 --> 00:07:52,423 Awesome. 180 00:07:52,564 --> 00:07:53,553 Idiots. 181 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,495 We heard that! 182 00:07:57,527 --> 00:07:59,245 - Josh's biopsy results. - Thank you. 183 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,350 Unfortunately, that's what I thought. 184 00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:08,292 Your son has hairy cell leukaemia. 185 00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:12,804 Now, the good news is it's very, very treatable. 186 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,916 If you'd like, I'd be more than glad to go in there 187 00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:17,839 and explain this all to Josh myself. 188 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:22,140 We already decided that if Josh did end up having cancer, 189 00:08:24,513 --> 00:08:25,866 we weren't gonna tell him. 190 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,502 What just happened? 191 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,070 Do you want to put your hands on the back of your head 192 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:34,458 like you do when you're upset? 193 00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:37,222 I do a little. 194 00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:48,976 So, how do we find out Kelso's age? 195 00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:54,145 We pay 100 people, age 1 to 100, line them all up, 196 00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:57,170 and see which one Kelso looks like. 197 00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:58,698 Oy. 198 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:02,627 I say we cut off Kelso's legs and we count the rings. 199 00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,417 - That only works on trees. - And puppets. 200 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,186 Okay, you guys have been super helpful. 201 00:09:09,391 --> 00:09:11,143 I told you we would be. 202 00:09:11,309 --> 00:09:12,947 Still, I think I'm going to go tackle this on my own 203 00:09:13,103 --> 00:09:14,741 and let the two of you get back to hallucinating. 204 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:16,219 Or 205 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:19,128 you could use these keys to get into the personnel files. 206 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,968 That almost burned me. 207 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,384 You know what I would have done if it did? 208 00:09:32,664 --> 00:09:33,733 No. 209 00:09:35,584 --> 00:09:37,336 Burn for a burn, baby. 210 00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:39,648 That's in the Bible. 211 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,508 Hooch is crazy. 212 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:49,779 Aren't your arms getting tired? 213 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:52,960 Yeah. 214 00:09:53,685 --> 00:09:55,038 Can you believe those people? 215 00:09:55,187 --> 00:09:57,655 Their kid has leukaemia, and they're not even gonna tell him? 216 00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:59,289 Well, they're his parents. It's their right. 217 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,094 Come on. 218 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,384 He deserves to know what he's up against. He can handle it. 219 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,879 Hell, he's more mature than most of the yahoos in this dump. 220 00:10:06,364 --> 00:10:09,401 Check it out! World's most giant clipboard! 221 00:10:09,659 --> 00:10:11,092 Exhibit A through Z. 222 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,723 Oh, what's that, Per? I didn't quite hear it. 223 00:10:12,871 --> 00:10:14,304 I wanna make sure I get it all down. 224 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,852 Write this down instead. 225 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,956 I, John Dorian... Write it down. 226 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,977 I, John Dorian... 227 00:10:21,129 --> 00:10:23,802 ...am a ridiculous, 32-year-old, overgrown infant. 228 00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:25,201 I mean, my God, two weeks ago, 229 00:10:25,342 --> 00:10:27,902 you were asking everybody if you should grow up. 230 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,130 And here I thought you were having some big epiphany that 231 00:10:30,305 --> 00:10:32,739 you were gonna be more of an adult now that you have a child. 232 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:33,968 My bad. 233 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,614 And if I forgot to congratulate you, 234 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:38,548 let me do that now. 235 00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:40,724 Way to go, we are all super proud of you. 236 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:51,296 Turkleton, I hired you as a surgeon, right? 237 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,015 - Yep. - Great job, Bob. 238 00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:58,788 Hey. What's up? You ready? 239 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,915 Yeah, I don't think I'm up for it, man. 240 00:11:01,086 --> 00:11:02,724 - Why not? - I don't know, Turk. 241 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:06,554 Maybe 'cause I'm 32, and I'm a doctor, and I have a kid. 242 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,791 I mean, look at yourself, man. 243 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:11,107 You look like an infant. 244 00:11:11,763 --> 00:11:13,435 It's probably time for us to grow up. 245 00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:17,955 They say that the truth hurts, and sometimes it does. 246 00:11:19,855 --> 00:11:21,288 But sometimes it's just surprising. 247 00:11:21,439 --> 00:11:24,158 "Robert Kelso, born 1942"? 248 00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:26,558 Holy frick, Kelso's 65. 249 00:11:27,863 --> 00:11:30,741 And other times the truth just wasn't supposed to be heard 250 00:11:30,949 --> 00:11:31,984 in the first place. 251 00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,869 - What do you say, pal? - Hey. 252 00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:35,263 Mind if I join you here? 253 00:11:35,412 --> 00:11:36,811 No, go ahead. 254 00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:40,686 Look, Josh. I want to take a minute here 255 00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:42,514 and explain to you what's wrong with you. 256 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,137 - Okay. - Inside your body... 257 00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,722 It was a morning of dramatic walk-ups. 258 00:11:58,894 --> 00:12:01,454 That's when one person dramatically walks up to another, 259 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:03,637 like me to Turk, 'cause I knew he was mad at me. 260 00:12:03,815 --> 00:12:04,884 Hey. 261 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,856 Or like Ted to Dr Cox. 262 00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:11,001 The Winstons are livid that you told their son about his leukaemia. 263 00:12:11,239 --> 00:12:12,911 - You did what? - I made a choice. 264 00:12:13,074 --> 00:12:14,666 Or Elliot to Dr Kelso. 265 00:12:14,826 --> 00:12:16,418 I've got a secret. 266 00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:19,536 What has two thumbs, a funny voice and still doesn't give a crap? 267 00:12:19,748 --> 00:12:20,817 Bob Kelso. 268 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,754 I added the funny voice to keep it fresh. 269 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:26,001 Well, I've got 65 reasons why you should give a crap. 270 00:12:27,297 --> 00:12:28,366 You're old. 271 00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:31,499 Yes! I've been saying that every time the doors open for the last two hours, 272 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:32,992 and I finally got my man. 273 00:12:33,136 --> 00:12:34,854 Come on, give it up. A little something. Still got time. 274 00:12:35,013 --> 00:12:36,082 We'll do it later. 275 00:12:37,015 --> 00:12:38,892 Look, Turk, I know you're probably mad at me about yesterday. 276 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,701 - We're cool. - See, I knew you'd get it. 277 00:12:41,937 --> 00:12:44,576 It's just time to leave our childish ways behind, right? 278 00:12:44,773 --> 00:12:46,968 Hell to the no. I'm bringing you back, buddy. 279 00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:48,886 I'll see you later. 280 00:12:52,113 --> 00:12:54,308 Are you following me? 'Cause I will cut you. 281 00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:55,685 I'll go around the corner. 282 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,826 The Winstons aren't ready to litigate yet, 283 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,319 but they're still angry. 284 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,178 You need to mitigate the situation 285 00:13:07,337 --> 00:13:09,168 because they have a really good lawyer. 286 00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:10,408 Honestly, Ted, I'm just surprised 287 00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:12,665 you know the difference between "litigate" and "mitigate". 288 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,961 Their lawyer taught me. 289 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,812 I'm telling you, the guy's really good. 290 00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:17,165 Thanks for having my back on this one. 291 00:13:17,305 --> 00:13:18,340 I don't have your back on this. 292 00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:19,622 I just want a ringside seat 293 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,199 for when you get your bony white ass handed to you. 294 00:13:21,351 --> 00:13:22,340 Not going to happen. 295 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,980 Dr Cox, we want to talk to you. 296 00:13:25,147 --> 00:13:26,739 Let's talk to Josh first. Come on. 297 00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:31,998 I really don't want to go into mitigation on this one. 298 00:13:33,238 --> 00:13:34,353 Wait. 299 00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:35,604 Yeah, that's right. 300 00:13:36,491 --> 00:13:37,844 You tell your parents what you said to me 301 00:13:37,993 --> 00:13:39,551 when I told you that you had leukaemia? 302 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,237 I already knew I was sick because Mom was doing that weird smile. 303 00:13:44,249 --> 00:13:45,398 Yeah, that one. 304 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,504 The only other time you had that look was when you told me Grandpa died. 305 00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:52,079 Sweetie, I'm so sorry. 306 00:13:52,924 --> 00:13:54,243 I'll be right outside here if you need me. 307 00:13:55,844 --> 00:13:57,436 Oh, my goodness. What's this? 308 00:13:58,763 --> 00:14:02,438 It's my bony, white ass and it's still very much intact, isn't it? 309 00:14:02,684 --> 00:14:04,322 You just don't get it, do you? 310 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,048 Get what? 311 00:14:07,898 --> 00:14:09,047 Chicks, huh? 312 00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:12,994 They're all soft and cuddly, but you never get to be with one. 313 00:14:18,408 --> 00:14:20,126 Hey, J.D., I need a little help. 314 00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:21,972 Relax. This is work stuff. 315 00:14:22,537 --> 00:14:24,892 I have a patient who needs a perioperative beta blockade 316 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,072 and I was wondering if I needed a continuous IV drip 317 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:28,763 or an intermittent bolus? 318 00:14:28,919 --> 00:14:31,479 - Well, I'd probably start him off... - Yeah, don't care. Check this out. 319 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,707 Hooch is on the verge of a major meltdown. 320 00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:35,315 Why? Is Rex still following him? 321 00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,661 Not just Rex. 322 00:14:36,802 --> 00:14:40,875 Three other interns are following him, too. They're all after this fellowship. 323 00:14:41,139 --> 00:14:43,778 I said whoever sticks to him the longest, I'll give a recommendation. 324 00:14:49,272 --> 00:14:51,308 I'm about to use the toilet right now. 325 00:14:51,483 --> 00:14:54,395 So I hope you all are happy with the order that you're standing in. 326 00:14:54,611 --> 00:14:56,169 Because if you follow me in there, 327 00:14:56,321 --> 00:14:58,881 that is the order that I am going to kill you. 328 00:14:59,783 --> 00:15:00,932 Oh, yeah. 329 00:15:01,076 --> 00:15:03,670 Today's gonna be a good day. Yes, it is! 330 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,321 - Come on, buddy. - See you later. 331 00:15:11,962 --> 00:15:14,157 You read my private personnel file? 332 00:15:14,339 --> 00:15:15,852 You can read mine if you want. 333 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,077 Of course, it says my name is Captain Billy Stinkwater 334 00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,454 and that I'm half gopher. 335 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,026 Sir, I know that you're sensitive about your age, 336 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,736 but getting older comes with tons of perks. 337 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,644 I mean, you command more respect. You get discounts. 338 00:15:27,853 --> 00:15:29,366 People think it's adorable when you toot. 339 00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:32,433 Look, I do not care about getting older. 340 00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:35,473 See? 341 00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:38,078 - Then what's your problem? - None of your business. 342 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:40,407 Well, if you don't care, then let us throw you a party. 343 00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:42,246 There's gonna be cake and presents and... 344 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,444 We have to get him presents? 345 00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:47,501 You can have anything you want off my tool belt. 346 00:15:47,664 --> 00:15:48,733 Sweet. I'll take that 347 00:15:48,874 --> 00:15:52,389 12-volt cordless, rechargeable nickel-metal hydride battery power drill. 348 00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:54,424 - I was kidding. - Too late. Hand it over. 349 00:15:56,465 --> 00:15:58,183 - Looks expensive. - It is. 350 00:15:58,341 --> 00:15:59,376 Thank you. 351 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,990 Dr Reid, let me make this as clear as possible. 352 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,531 I do not want a party. 353 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,089 Fair enough. 354 00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:09,704 There's just one problem. 355 00:16:10,312 --> 00:16:11,745 Surprise! 356 00:16:12,898 --> 00:16:14,570 Ted, these are Chanukah decorations! 357 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,564 They were on sale! 358 00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:18,839 Make a wish. 359 00:16:21,531 --> 00:16:24,329 - Awesome. Thanks. - I'm glad you like it. 360 00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:25,967 I stole it from my husband. 361 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:30,454 Hey, Carla. I got you some Kelso cake. It's delish. 362 00:16:30,916 --> 00:16:33,271 - And a dreidel. - I'm not talking to you. 363 00:16:33,627 --> 00:16:36,300 Okay, now if it was anybody else, I'd just say thank you and let it die, 364 00:16:36,505 --> 00:16:39,622 but since it's you, I gotta know what it is that I don't get. 365 00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:41,164 Too bad. 366 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,026 Come on! 367 00:16:43,178 --> 00:16:46,568 Okay, walk by so he doesn't even have a chance to tempt you. 368 00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:48,789 What the hell is behind his ear? 369 00:16:49,226 --> 00:16:50,705 I know you see that. 370 00:16:50,852 --> 00:16:52,285 Why don't you just go ahead and grab it? 371 00:16:52,437 --> 00:16:54,234 Turk, I am not playing "Hide the Saltine". 372 00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,862 You know you wanna. 373 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,437 - That's 1-0, me. - Yes, it is. 374 00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:03,506 - Wait! Why're you torturing me? - Wait! Why're you torturing me? 375 00:17:06,034 --> 00:17:07,786 Happy birthday, Dr Kelso. 376 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,159 Oh, thank you. 377 00:17:11,581 --> 00:17:12,934 Oh, my God. Is that a smile? 378 00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:15,260 Well, it's like last year when 379 00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,613 the safety brake failed on Enid's wheelchair 380 00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,673 and she started rolling toward our pool. 381 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,559 I told myself, "Bob, it's already too late to stop it, 382 00:17:22,759 --> 00:17:24,875 "so you might as well just sit back and enjoy it." 383 00:17:26,054 --> 00:17:28,045 Sir, I got you a power drill. 384 00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:30,259 I know you wanted one for your hobby shop. 385 00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:32,185 The Janitor already gave me one. 386 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,308 Nobody likes a copycat, Ted. 387 00:17:34,771 --> 00:17:35,999 So what do I do with this? 388 00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:39,533 - Thanks. - Hey! 389 00:17:40,819 --> 00:17:42,696 So, Bob, I just dropped by to tell you 390 00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:44,740 we need to find an interim orthopaedic surgeon. 391 00:17:45,615 --> 00:17:48,493 Apparently Dr Hooch was involved in some kind of hostage situation. 392 00:17:49,077 --> 00:17:50,954 Well, Hooch is crazy. 393 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,479 Sixty-five, huh? 394 00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:56,057 Yeah, how about that? 395 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,532 How about that? 396 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,036 Baby, have you been in my locker? 397 00:18:02,174 --> 00:18:03,209 'Cause I can't seem to find 398 00:18:03,341 --> 00:18:04,740 my autographed Michael Jordan basketball. 399 00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:05,920 - Autographed? - Yeah. 400 00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,087 No. 401 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,938 - Okay, we gotta talk. - Okay, we gotta talk. 402 00:18:09,097 --> 00:18:11,770 If you speak simultaneously with me again, 403 00:18:11,975 --> 00:18:13,488 - I'm going to have to kill you. - Kill you. 404 00:18:14,102 --> 00:18:15,615 I'll tell you why I'm torturing you. 405 00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:17,203 Why would you stop being you? 406 00:18:17,355 --> 00:18:19,186 - Because he called me an infant. - Of course he did. 407 00:18:19,357 --> 00:18:21,552 Plus, two weeks ago, you were all over me about growing up. 408 00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,805 Dude, I wasn't saying you needed to change who you are. 409 00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:26,384 I just meant that once you have a kid, you gotta be more responsible, 410 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,767 and you're doing that. 411 00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:29,944 Look at you. You spend a ton of time with Sam. 412 00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:32,109 Hell, you've even started a college fund for him. 413 00:18:32,287 --> 00:18:34,482 He started a college fund? We didn't start a college fund. 414 00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:36,939 Baby, we're being a team. How often does that happen? 415 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:38,114 - Get in the game. - Right. 416 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,570 You're just as dumb as he is. 417 00:18:39,711 --> 00:18:42,179 Of course Josh had to find out what was wrong with him eventually, 418 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:44,177 but you were so cavalier about telling him 419 00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:45,490 and taking his childhood away. 420 00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:47,670 I didn't take his childhood away. 421 00:18:47,844 --> 00:18:48,879 Really? 422 00:18:49,012 --> 00:18:51,003 Because Josh was spending so much time on his laptop 423 00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:53,012 researching leukaemia mortality rates, 424 00:18:53,183 --> 00:18:55,538 I had to give him a basketball just to distract him. 425 00:18:55,769 --> 00:18:57,566 - Wait. What? - Turk, we're a team. 426 00:18:57,729 --> 00:19:00,243 Who cares about losing your childhood? I damn sure didn't. 427 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,874 Yeah, because your parents were violently abusive alcoholics. 428 00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:04,637 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 429 00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:05,927 It was probably very exciting. 430 00:19:06,071 --> 00:19:07,345 Don't take your lead from this train wreck. 431 00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:10,606 If you're lucky enough to still have a kid inside you, you gotta hold onto that. 432 00:19:10,992 --> 00:19:13,631 And if you don't have one, I bet if you think about it, 433 00:19:13,829 --> 00:19:16,059 you want your kids to spend as much time as possible 434 00:19:16,248 --> 00:19:17,237 just being what? 435 00:19:17,999 --> 00:19:18,988 Yeah. 436 00:19:19,126 --> 00:19:20,957 The only thing I hate more than simultaneous speaking is 437 00:19:21,128 --> 00:19:23,483 when people try to get me to finish their sentences. 438 00:19:24,422 --> 00:19:26,140 Just being kids. 439 00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:27,747 That's right. 440 00:19:28,552 --> 00:19:31,385 By the way, baby, you're getting my basketball back from that cancer kid. 441 00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:36,870 Sorry. 442 00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,371 No matter how old you are, 443 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,397 you should never forget the importance of childhood. 444 00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:43,047 Whether it's letting your kid hold onto his... 445 00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:45,667 How you doing, Jackie? 446 00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:47,863 Do it again. 447 00:19:48,029 --> 00:19:50,463 I love Daddy. I love Jackie. 448 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:51,646 Give me a kiss. 449 00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:54,069 ...or holding onto your own. 450 00:19:54,202 --> 00:19:56,158 Excuse me, young miss. 451 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,808 Would you like to sign this petition 452 00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:00,993 to make our hospital more giant-accessible? 453 00:20:03,587 --> 00:20:05,543 - How many signatures do we have? - None. 454 00:20:05,714 --> 00:20:06,829 Damn it! 455 00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:08,368 Excuse me, sir. 456 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:09,941 Would you like to sign this petition 457 00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:12,288 to make this hospital more giant-accessible? 458 00:20:13,054 --> 00:20:17,764 Because everything happens so fast, it can all slip away before you know it. 459 00:20:18,059 --> 00:20:19,048 So, Bob, as you know, 460 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:22,735 it's our policy to have administrators step down when they reach 65. 461 00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:26,060 Over the next few months we'll be searching for your replacement. 462 00:20:26,568 --> 00:20:28,923 Do me a favour and keep this between us. 463 00:20:29,321 --> 00:20:30,674 Of course.