1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,044 - Male narrator: Previously on 2 00:00:03,111 --> 00:00:04,312 The hard times of rj berger. 3 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,346 - I'm sorry this is my my tutor, amy. 4 00:00:05,414 --> 00:00:06,948 - You and jenny swanson. 5 00:00:07,015 --> 00:00:08,149 - Weird. I know. - Why is it weird? 6 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,450 I mean, she's hot and you're, like, 7 00:00:09,518 --> 00:00:10,718 The coolest guy in school. 8 00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:11,852 - You think I'm the coolest guy in school? 9 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,054 - You've already busted your cherry. 10 00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:14,322 - Keep that down. 11 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,856 If jenny hears, I'm dead. 12 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:17,291 - You lied to me? 13 00:00:17,359 --> 00:00:19,060 [glass breaking and car alarm] 14 00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,662 [chaz jankel's number one] 15 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:29,303 - 16 00:00:29,371 --> 00:00:30,504 - 17 00:00:35,143 --> 00:00:39,146 - [murmuring lyrics] 18 00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:41,515 - Dad. - Hey! Rj. 19 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,950 Hey, what do you think, huh? 20 00:00:43,018 --> 00:00:44,085 - What do I think it is? 21 00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,252 - It's a dream board. 22 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,288 - I saw it on the view. 23 00:00:47,356 --> 00:00:49,156 You think of something that you want, 24 00:00:49,224 --> 00:00:51,659 And you visualize it. 25 00:00:51,727 --> 00:00:54,762 - I mean, that's insane, but an improvement. 26 00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:56,530 - Oh, hey, we are improving big time, buddy. 27 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,432 Big time! 28 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,234 Just look at this. 29 00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:01,736 See I visualized that we're taking a trip around the world. 30 00:01:01,803 --> 00:01:03,638 And that's your mommy. 31 00:01:03,705 --> 00:01:04,872 And she's in a diamond airplane. 32 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,574 I don't have a picture of the airplane 33 00:01:06,642 --> 00:01:09,877 Because I don't think it exists yet. 34 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,479 [chuckling] 35 00:01:11,546 --> 00:01:12,613 - Actually, dad, I came to talk to you 36 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:13,914 About something important. 37 00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,282 - I recognize that look. 38 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,518 That's the problems-in- pantyland look, huh? 39 00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:18,786 - Jenny and I are fighting. 40 00:01:18,854 --> 00:01:20,421 - Oh, you wanna dream board about it? 41 00:01:20,489 --> 00:01:22,423 - No, thank you. 42 00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:23,357 You see, I lied to her. 43 00:01:23,425 --> 00:01:26,227 - You lied? 44 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,328 That's it? 45 00:01:27,396 --> 00:01:29,597 - Yeah, I mean, isn't lying bad? 46 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,232 - Ha ha ha ha. 47 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,067 Rj, lying is in your blood. 48 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:36,370 It is the one thing that all berger men do well. 49 00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:37,571 Hell, I lied to your mother for years. 50 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:41,942 - No offense, dad, but... 51 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,077 - Yeah, and why am I here? 52 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,145 Because I tried to tell the truth. 53 00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:45,546 Uh-huh. Yeah. 54 00:01:45,614 --> 00:01:48,849 And once you do that, all your dreams are gone. 55 00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:51,686 But not now. Not now. No. 56 00:02:01,129 --> 00:02:02,563 - My name is rj berger. 57 00:02:02,631 --> 00:02:05,499 And sometimes dreams don't come true. 58 00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:08,402 [hard rock music] 59 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:15,910 - Okay. So your dad's a little wacked out. 60 00:02:15,977 --> 00:02:17,178 Who cares? 61 00:02:17,245 --> 00:02:19,313 Last week my dad got so drunk 62 00:02:19,381 --> 00:02:20,448 He took a dump in the lamp. 63 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,716 - That's unfortunate. 64 00:02:21,783 --> 00:02:23,451 But I feel like I need to do something for him. 65 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,685 You know, amy says that I should-- 66 00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:27,621 - Oh, there's that name again. Amy. 67 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,056 You've been spending a lot of time with her lately, huh? 68 00:02:29,124 --> 00:02:30,124 - What else am I supposed to do? 69 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,425 Jenny won't talk to me. 70 00:02:31,493 --> 00:02:34,361 - Whatever, bro. You think you've got problems? 71 00:02:34,429 --> 00:02:35,863 A teacher took my v card, 72 00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:38,065 Gave me a splosh fetish and crabs 73 00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:40,835 And now my pubs are so smooth, I look like a six-year-old boy. 74 00:02:40,902 --> 00:02:42,269 - A splosh fetish? 75 00:02:42,337 --> 00:02:43,370 - Yeah. Sex and food, rj. 76 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:44,772 I had to google it. 77 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:45,806 Freaky british people are into it. 78 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,843 Freaky british people and me. 79 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:51,145 Oh, hey. 80 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,313 If you're here to ask me on a date 81 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,914 The answer is yes. 82 00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:55,716 - Great. I'll see you tomorrow morning 83 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,085 Third period, room 14. 84 00:02:58,153 --> 00:02:59,653 - Really? - Yeah. 85 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,988 It's where our support group meets. 86 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,723 - Support group? 87 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,958 - It's a safe place for students to get together. 88 00:03:04,025 --> 00:03:05,392 Talk about their problems. 89 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:07,862 A chance to connect intimately. 90 00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:10,364 [giggles] 91 00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:12,066 - Oh, I'm gonna connect intimately all right. 92 00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:13,501 With her butt. 93 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,668 [chuckling] 94 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,705 Hey, does rogaine work on your pubes? 95 00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:20,141 Rj? 96 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:21,876 Rj, I'm dropping comedic gold here. 97 00:03:21,943 --> 00:03:22,943 What, are you off daydreaming? 98 00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:24,879 - Sorry. Jenny. 99 00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,047 - Huh, yeah. Well, good luck with that. 100 00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,916 I gotta get to my own class. 101 00:03:28,984 --> 00:03:30,718 - You're in this class. 102 00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:31,986 [upbeat rock music] 103 00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:33,988 - 104 00:03:40,962 --> 00:03:42,329 - Self help books. 105 00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:45,099 Really, rj? 106 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,734 - Yeah, uh-- 107 00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:50,504 - Dude, if you need to talk just come talk to me. 108 00:03:50,572 --> 00:03:52,072 - I know. It's just I've had a lot on my plate. 109 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,441 Jenny is super pissed at me 110 00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:55,576 And my parents are going crazy. 111 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,044 - Let me guess. 112 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,612 One of the 'rents is having a total melt down, 113 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,281 And the other one is acting like nothing even happened, right? 114 00:04:00,348 --> 00:04:01,515 - Yeah. 115 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,484 - See, like, with me, my for instance 116 00:04:03,552 --> 00:04:06,420 Was in total denial, and my mom basically became 117 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,389 A more cracked out version of courtney love. 118 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,790 - It's the opposite in my case, actually. 119 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,759 I feel bad for my dad. 120 00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:16,330 Yes, like, he lied but he still loves my mom. 121 00:04:16,398 --> 00:04:19,033 - Rj, you cannot keep your parents together, okay? 122 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,968 But you can be there for them 123 00:04:21,036 --> 00:04:22,937 When they fall apart. 124 00:04:23,004 --> 00:04:24,538 - That makes sense. Thank you. 125 00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:27,341 Don't thank me thank three years of therapy. 126 00:04:27,409 --> 00:04:30,411 - Amy, I have a huge favor to ask you. 127 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:34,281 How good are you with a pair of scissors? 128 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,824 - Hey, rj, what are you doing here? 129 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:46,460 Who's this sensual little vixen? 130 00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:48,863 - Uh, dad, this is my friend, amy. 131 00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:51,966 - Amy-- - and we're here to help you. 132 00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:53,601 - What are you talking about, bud, I'm doing great. 133 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,769 - Why does it smell like burnt welfare in here? 134 00:04:55,837 --> 00:05:01,442 - Oh, my pop tart. 135 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,711 This is my dinner. 136 00:05:03,778 --> 00:05:05,312 - Dad, you gotta take a look at yourself. 137 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:06,981 You're not okay. - Worse than my mom. 138 00:05:07,048 --> 00:05:08,315 We have to do something. 139 00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:11,952 - Like what? 140 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,955 [chaz jankel's number one] 141 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,693 - 142 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,076 - Looking good, mr. B. 143 00:06:09,144 --> 00:06:10,945 - Yeah, dad, you look great. - Thanks, guys. 144 00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:12,646 I couldn't have done it with out you. 145 00:06:12,714 --> 00:06:14,848 Now all I have to do is dream board a job. 146 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:18,118 - Why don't we not dream board it, and just do it? 147 00:06:18,186 --> 00:06:20,688 - Yeah, you're right. 148 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:24,892 Look, I promise I'm gonna get back on track. 149 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,662 Hey. 150 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,098 - Another thing I couldn't have done without you. 151 00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:33,434 - I'm sure your girlfriend would've done the same thing. 152 00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:35,536 If you hadn't screwed up. - Dude, no. 153 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,971 I could never bring jenny here. 154 00:06:37,038 --> 00:06:38,872 - Why? 155 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:39,873 - Because I couldn't bring a girl like that 156 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,709 To a place like this. 157 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,744 - So are you saying that because 158 00:06:43,812 --> 00:06:46,046 She's more popular than us? 159 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,081 - No, I'm sorry. 160 00:06:47,148 --> 00:06:48,382 What I really meant to say-- 161 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,717 - No, it's fine. You know, it's fine. 162 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:53,087 Somewhere deep inside that dig on me was a compliment 163 00:06:53,154 --> 00:06:54,955 And I'm gonna take it. 164 00:07:04,065 --> 00:07:07,668 - And so I knifed that bitch in her fat face. 165 00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:08,836 Fat face. 166 00:07:08,903 --> 00:07:12,139 No! 167 00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:13,974 Thank you very much. 168 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:17,411 - No, thank you, eduardo. 169 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,013 [sighing] 170 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,548 That took a lot of courage to admit that you feel that way 171 00:07:21,616 --> 00:07:24,051 About your grandmother. 172 00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:25,185 Everybody. 173 00:07:25,253 --> 00:07:28,655 All: We support you, eduardo. 174 00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:29,957 - We support you. 175 00:07:30,025 --> 00:07:31,091 - Okay. 176 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,293 Hamilton, how about you? 177 00:07:33,361 --> 00:07:34,261 Think you're ready to share? 178 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,362 - Pass. 179 00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:36,597 - All right. 180 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:40,200 Anybody else? 181 00:07:40,268 --> 00:07:41,368 - Go ahead, lily. 182 00:07:41,436 --> 00:07:43,037 - Thanks. 183 00:07:43,104 --> 00:07:44,872 - Ever since I came back to school 184 00:07:44,939 --> 00:07:46,874 I've had this recurring nightmare. 185 00:07:46,941 --> 00:07:49,009 - Tell us about it. 186 00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:53,113 - Well, first I get run over 187 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,216 By this giant penis-shaped bus, 188 00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:58,185 And I die. 189 00:07:58,253 --> 00:07:59,953 But then I miraculously come back to life. 190 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,522 - Oh. 191 00:08:01,589 --> 00:08:02,723 - But nobody cares. 192 00:08:02,791 --> 00:08:07,227 Then I wake up and I realize that 193 00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:11,031 Almost all of that really happened. 194 00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,434 - Oh. 195 00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:16,470 It's okay to cry here. 196 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,139 You know, remember you're in the safety circle. 197 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,241 - Safety circle. 198 00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:26,246 I think I'm just still feeling a lot of anger toward-- 199 00:08:26,314 --> 00:08:29,850 - What? Your face? 200 00:08:29,918 --> 00:08:31,685 [chuckling] 201 00:08:31,753 --> 00:08:34,121 Nobody? 202 00:08:34,189 --> 00:08:37,157 Okay, then. Let's get our heal on. 203 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,997 - What the hell are you doing here, miles? 204 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,765 This is peer support not assholes anonymous. 205 00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:46,167 - Oh, my gosh. 206 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,768 Is this not a safe place? 207 00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:49,303 'cause I thought this was a safe place. 208 00:08:49,371 --> 00:08:51,172 - Lily, that is not how we welcome new members. 209 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:56,210 Everyone, we support you, miles. 210 00:08:56,278 --> 00:08:59,780 - Thanks, everyone. 211 00:08:59,848 --> 00:09:02,783 - I mean, I can't believe that suit fit him. 212 00:09:02,851 --> 00:09:04,085 He's been eating nothing but, 213 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:05,586 You know, pop tarts and hot dogs. 214 00:09:05,654 --> 00:09:07,822 - Yeah, well, maybe it was all the crying and vomiting 215 00:09:07,889 --> 00:09:10,791 That kept the pounds off. 216 00:09:16,364 --> 00:09:18,065 She does not look happy. 217 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,734 - Not at all. 218 00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:21,569 I should probably... 219 00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:24,371 - Yeah, you should go handle your business. 220 00:09:30,245 --> 00:09:32,046 - Hey, can we talk? 221 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,380 - Actually, I'm kind of busy right now. 222 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,149 Why don't you go talk to your new tutor? 223 00:09:35,217 --> 00:09:36,917 - It's not like that. 224 00:09:36,985 --> 00:09:38,185 Please, just hear me out for a second. 225 00:09:38,253 --> 00:09:39,420 I'm really sorry. 226 00:09:39,488 --> 00:09:42,189 I lied and it was mean. 227 00:09:42,257 --> 00:09:44,458 You know, we were having problems before the lie. 228 00:09:44,526 --> 00:09:48,262 And I just feel like my life is disastrous 229 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:49,463 And you don't care. 230 00:09:49,531 --> 00:09:51,532 - Yeah, it really seems disastrous. 231 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,936 I gotta go. 232 00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:58,906 - Craig, that was an incredible share. 233 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:04,845 - Really incredible. 234 00:10:04,913 --> 00:10:07,114 - Oh, I hope you and your mom can work things out 235 00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:09,083 By the time she gets out of prison. 236 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,985 - You should stab that bitch in her fat face. 237 00:10:11,052 --> 00:10:12,219 Fat face. 238 00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:13,721 - No. Everyone. 239 00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:16,190 All: We support you, craig. 240 00:10:16,258 --> 00:10:19,627 - Okay, for our last exercise 241 00:10:19,694 --> 00:10:21,929 Let's pair off. 242 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,998 Remember to maintain eye contact 243 00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:26,801 And keep an open line of share. 244 00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:30,104 Go get 'em. 245 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,572 Remember, maintain eye contact. 246 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,474 - Katie, you and me partners? 247 00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:35,309 - Sure. - Hey, how about over there? 248 00:10:35,377 --> 00:10:36,710 - Yeah. - Cool. 249 00:10:36,778 --> 00:10:39,947 - Yo, I'm really sorry 250 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,282 About what happened to you and everything. 251 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,349 - Yeah, whatever. 252 00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:43,551 - No, for real. 253 00:10:43,618 --> 00:10:46,587 You know, you're smart, funny, cute too. 254 00:10:46,655 --> 00:10:48,522 - Gusher alert. 255 00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:49,957 - You're like the white oprah. 256 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,026 You know, like, people come to you 257 00:10:52,093 --> 00:10:55,229 With all their problems, and you always know what to say. 258 00:10:55,297 --> 00:10:57,798 - We all have our own challenges. 259 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,333 - Really? You have challenges? 260 00:10:59,401 --> 00:11:02,803 - It's--it's a long, long story. 261 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,540 - Katie, this is a safe place. 262 00:11:06,608 --> 00:11:08,042 Remember? 263 00:11:08,109 --> 00:11:09,910 - Um... 264 00:11:09,978 --> 00:11:12,613 - I feel like I can talk to you, lily. 265 00:11:12,681 --> 00:11:15,015 Wow, that's something I've never said before. 266 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,384 - Is this about you killing a guy? 267 00:11:17,452 --> 00:11:20,955 - Nah, you see, that's not me. 268 00:11:21,022 --> 00:11:23,924 That's my mask. 269 00:11:23,992 --> 00:11:25,292 I can't tell my homies, 270 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,362 But the real me, 271 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:34,168 I see numbers in thin air. 272 00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:37,438 It's like the whole world goes away 273 00:11:37,505 --> 00:11:41,141 And everything becomes so clear. 274 00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:43,777 - My god, gangsta will hunting. 275 00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:47,248 - Ha, yeah. Word. 276 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,083 - Well, I had a really dark period, miles. 277 00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:50,718 - Okay. 278 00:11:50,785 --> 00:11:53,654 - I used sex as a weapon. 279 00:11:53,722 --> 00:11:59,460 I willingly gave my body out to multiple partners. 280 00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:02,062 Sometimes two. 281 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,130 Six. 282 00:12:03,198 --> 00:12:04,398 - Uh. 283 00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:05,532 - Eight at a time. 284 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,767 - Oh, wow. 285 00:12:06,835 --> 00:12:09,803 - I did terrible things. 286 00:12:09,871 --> 00:12:10,704 - What-- what kind of things? 287 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,073 - Filthy things. 288 00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:16,844 - How long ago was this? 289 00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:19,747 - Oh, up till about last week. 290 00:12:19,814 --> 00:12:21,649 - Oh, katie. 291 00:12:21,716 --> 00:12:23,584 I support you. 292 00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:27,721 [school bell ringing] 293 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:31,392 I'm telling you, rj, this whole peer support group 294 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:32,626 Is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 295 00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:33,861 - That's awesome, man. 296 00:12:33,929 --> 00:12:35,095 I never wanted to say anything, 297 00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:36,196 But I always knew you needed therapy. 298 00:12:36,264 --> 00:12:38,732 - Therapy? Therapy's for pussies. 299 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,434 I'm talking about katie. 300 00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:43,837 - Katie? Isn't she a little out of your league? 301 00:12:43,905 --> 00:12:45,339 - She's a nympho, dude. 302 00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:47,141 She bones the whole league. 303 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,376 I just gotta dangle a little wang right in front of her face, 304 00:12:49,444 --> 00:12:51,445 And then she'll be right back to her old gang bangin' ways. 305 00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:52,413 - Well, you gang bang your little little-- 306 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,814 - Miles, bud. 307 00:12:53,882 --> 00:12:55,249 - Hey, what are you doing here? 308 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,184 - I just had an interview with principal haggerty. 309 00:12:57,252 --> 00:12:58,552 Boy, this school is really desperate 310 00:12:58,620 --> 00:12:59,620 For a substitute english teacher. 311 00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:00,888 - You what? 312 00:13:00,956 --> 00:13:04,358 - Last night really opened up my eyes, son. 313 00:13:04,426 --> 00:13:05,893 I couldn't have done it without you. 314 00:13:05,961 --> 00:13:07,761 - You couldn't have done what? 315 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,330 - I got the job. 316 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,131 I'm your new english teacher. 317 00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:13,033 [laughing] 318 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,013 - Dad, tell me you're kidding. 319 00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:20,716 You're not really the new substitute english teacher. 320 00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:23,185 - No, no. I did. I got the job. 321 00:13:23,253 --> 00:13:24,987 In fact, I'm late for my first class. 322 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,356 I will see you tomorrow at sixth period. 323 00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:28,991 Mwah. 324 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:32,027 - Awkward. 325 00:13:32,095 --> 00:13:36,732 [bells ringing] 326 00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:39,268 - Let's start today 327 00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:42,070 By sharing what we learned about our partners yesterday. 328 00:13:42,138 --> 00:13:45,007 Lily, why don't you go first? 329 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:49,912 - Well, yesterday I learned that hamilton may act tough, 330 00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:52,881 But he's also sensitive and scared, 331 00:13:52,949 --> 00:13:55,617 And a freakin' genius. 332 00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:58,186 - Yeah, you know I see numbers and [bleep]. 333 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,121 - He doesn't think that you can be tough 334 00:13:59,188 --> 00:14:00,455 And smart at the same time. 335 00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:03,058 But he can. 336 00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:05,327 - And hamilton, what did you learn about lily? 337 00:14:05,395 --> 00:14:07,029 - That she tucks a she-penis. 338 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,096 - Hey, what did you say, homey? 339 00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:10,832 - Uh-uh, nothing. 340 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,235 I was--I was just wondering if, um, 341 00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:17,172 Lily had mentioned anything about being the love child 342 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,174 Of big foot and pee-wee herman. 343 00:14:19,242 --> 00:14:22,044 - Yo, you done? You got more jokes? 344 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,278 Why don't you rip on me, dog? 345 00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:24,880 - Hamilton, safe zone. 346 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,014 - Safe zone. - Safe-- 347 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,082 - Safe zone. 348 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,250 Miles, I think you better leave. 349 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,418 - Me? - Mm-hmm. 350 00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:31,787 - But, katie. 351 00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:33,355 Everything we shared. 352 00:14:33,423 --> 00:14:36,158 - Until you learn to respect the safe zone of this group, 353 00:14:36,225 --> 00:14:38,260 You're not welcome here. 354 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:40,829 - So we're not gonna bone? 355 00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:43,165 - Okay, I'm gonna cut your face, chalupa. 356 00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:44,967 - Eduardo. 357 00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:49,404 - I know, safe zone. He do not make me feel safe. 358 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,641 - Hello, class. 359 00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:54,443 Sorry I'm late. 360 00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:58,947 My name is mr. Berger. 361 00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:02,784 And I am your new substitute english teacher. 362 00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,386 Uh, it says here, 363 00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:06,555 Oh, you're reading one of my favorites, romeo and juliet. 364 00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:09,891 Let's uh-- 365 00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,627 Uh... 366 00:15:11,694 --> 00:15:12,628 [heart pounding] 367 00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:17,566 [clock ticking] 368 00:15:17,634 --> 00:15:22,004 You know, the best way to understand shakespeare 369 00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,039 Is to see it acted out, like he intended. 370 00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:25,340 And who better to call upon 371 00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:27,075 Than two of pinkerton's finest thespians, 372 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:31,413 The stars of vamp side story, rj berger and jenny swanson. 373 00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:34,082 Come on up, you two. 374 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:38,020 [dramatic music] 375 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,455 Okay, son. 376 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,590 Jenny. 377 00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:42,958 Guys, get a little closer. 378 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,292 Get a little closer. Come on, a little closer. 379 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,328 Come on, you're romeo and juliet. 380 00:15:46,396 --> 00:15:49,064 Two households. Both alike in dignity 381 00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:53,168 In fair pinkertona where we lay our scene 382 00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:56,204 A civil war is waged bloody and mean. 383 00:15:56,272 --> 00:16:00,275 Betwixt the house of jockulet and the house of montageek, 384 00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:05,313 And from these two foes a pair of star-crossed lovers meet. 385 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,350 Juliet, fairest cheerleader in all of the world 386 00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:11,753 Falls for romeo pinkertona's biggest nerd. 387 00:16:11,821 --> 00:16:14,856 - Oh, she doth make my boner take flight. 388 00:16:14,924 --> 00:16:17,859 For I ne'er saw such boobies until this night. 389 00:16:17,927 --> 00:16:19,394 [kissing] 390 00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:23,899 - Oh, my only love sprung from my only hate. 391 00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:27,636 Alas, sweet romeo for your massive sword I'll wait. 392 00:16:27,704 --> 00:16:30,205 - O, I am fortune's fool. 393 00:16:30,273 --> 00:16:32,574 Why did I wait to slay her with my tool? 394 00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:36,645 - Though their love was true, 'twas not meant to be. 395 00:16:36,713 --> 00:16:40,248 Fickle fortune decreed death their destiny. 396 00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:46,354 - Here's to my love. 397 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:50,525 - O, happy dagger this is thy sheath. 398 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:55,097 - And as we lay these poor lovers to rest eternally, 399 00:16:55,164 --> 00:16:58,200 We've only fate to blame 400 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:02,804 For their tragedy. 401 00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:04,239 Scene. 402 00:17:04,307 --> 00:17:08,176 And that's--that was-- great job, you two. 403 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,845 Great job. Uh... 404 00:17:09,912 --> 00:17:12,047 So much good stuff there. 405 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:15,951 Uh, you had gang violence, illicit love, suicide-- 406 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,453 Stuff that every kid can relate to. 407 00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:19,988 But what really stands out 408 00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:22,390 Is shakespeare's use of "destiny." 409 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,260 I think what he's saying is that 410 00:17:25,328 --> 00:17:28,196 No matter how much you think you love somebody, 411 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:31,233 Some people are just destined to be together. 412 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:35,137 And other people are just destined 413 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:37,038 To stay friends. 414 00:17:37,106 --> 00:17:38,240 [bell rings] 415 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,474 Uh... 416 00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:54,756 - That was pretty awesome. 417 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:55,924 - Well, I guess that old adage is true. 418 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,325 You don't really need an education 419 00:17:57,393 --> 00:17:58,426 To be a schoolteacher. 420 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,594 - Thank you. 421 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,032 - Have a good day. 422 00:18:08,371 --> 00:18:10,772 - Your dad did a good job. - Yeah, he did, actually. 423 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,209 - That whole thing he said about destiny 424 00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:18,513 And something things just aren't meant to be. 425 00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:22,250 - No matter how bad you want them to be. 426 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:25,654 - We have to break up, don't we? - Yeah, I think we do. 427 00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:26,888 - I'm sorry I've been so cold. 428 00:18:26,956 --> 00:18:28,990 - No, no, no, no. I deserved it. 429 00:18:29,058 --> 00:18:31,459 I should have just been honest with you. 430 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,361 - Yeah, you should have. 431 00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:35,330 But it wasn't just that. 432 00:18:35,398 --> 00:18:37,432 I mean, we tried so hard, rj. 433 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,434 - Jenny, 434 00:18:39,502 --> 00:18:43,238 I've wanted you so bad 435 00:18:43,306 --> 00:18:45,674 For so long. 436 00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:47,542 And when we got to be friends, 437 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:49,811 I-- 438 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,313 I felt so lucky. 439 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,450 And when we got to be more than friends... 440 00:18:55,518 --> 00:18:57,452 But I hurt you, 441 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,787 And we're fighting, 442 00:18:58,855 --> 00:19:02,290 And I don't want to do that anymore. 443 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,925 I just want to go back to when I was lucky. 444 00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,460 - Yeah. 445 00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:07,362 - Friends? 446 00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:11,666 - Friends. 447 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,235 [rock music] 448 00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:23,637 - Tangos at 5:00. - Got 'em. 449 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,772 Both: Grenade! 450 00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,207 - Nice, nice. - Thanks. 451 00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:28,242 [sighs] 452 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,844 So, jenny swanson 453 00:19:30,912 --> 00:19:32,680 No longer in the spank bank hall of fame? 454 00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:36,417 - I know it sounds weird, but I'm actually kind of relieved. 455 00:19:36,484 --> 00:19:38,252 - So your dream girl turned out to be 456 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,021 Not such a dream girl after all, huh? 457 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:42,790 [incoming video chat ringing on laptop] 458 00:19:42,857 --> 00:19:44,291 - It's amy. - Pausing for pooter. 459 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:45,392 [groans] 460 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:46,827 [rings] 461 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,762 - Your dad's teaching english? 462 00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:52,166 - Yup. And he's surprisingly good at it. 463 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,634 I think I learned something. 464 00:19:53,702 --> 00:19:54,768 - Well, you owe me, 465 00:19:54,836 --> 00:19:56,670 And I fully intend to cash in on it. 466 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,339 Call me when you're cooler. 467 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,241 - Dude, you are so in! 468 00:20:01,309 --> 00:20:04,111 I fully intend to cash in on it. 469 00:20:04,179 --> 00:20:05,779 [imitates explosion] 470 00:20:05,847 --> 00:20:06,981 [whispering indistinctly] 471 00:20:07,048 --> 00:20:08,749 - Okay, boys, so be good tonig-- 472 00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:12,519 Oh, sorry to interrupt whatever that was. 473 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,355 Um, I just wanted to let you know 474 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,590 That I'm having a visitor tonight. 475 00:20:16,658 --> 00:20:17,858 - What? 476 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,294 - Actually, it's someone you know. 477 00:20:23,231 --> 00:20:24,298 - Don't wait up for us, berger. 478 00:20:24,366 --> 00:20:27,368 - All right. Love you. 479 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:28,335 - Heh heh! 480 00:20:28,403 --> 00:20:30,571 - My name is rj berger, 481 00:20:30,639 --> 00:20:33,574 And sometimes nightmares do come true.