ALL TIED UP WITH A BOA
transcript: f1nc0
corrections: honeybunny
It's the breakout, that let to a stakeout ...
because there is a snake out.
Savio, the Hoboken Zoo vicious boa constrictor has escaped.
Wait. Why do I feel I know that reptile?
Snake belly! So dark!
Don't believe in the monkey suit!
Savio, the fiendish serpent who temporarily ate Private, the lemurs and Marlene.
Right! I hated that guy.
We go live to Bonnie Chang on the scene.
Trash fires, riot in the streets.
The snake escape really has everyone on edge, Bonnie?
No, Chuck. That's just Hoboken.
Back off, palio! I'm packing a pipewrench.
The boa was last seen, entering the Hudson River
where it appeared to be swimming toward Manhattan.
I don't think Savio is still mad, we had him shipped back to Hoboken ...
As every herpetologist knows, Chuck,
this breath of boa has an insatiable thirst for vengeance.
Nursing a grudge for months, before reaching his hideous retribution.
Move out, you Nancy cats.
Wait, wait. You think Savio is coming after us?
But that's crazy! Most of us were his victims!
Don't try and make sense of revenge, Marlene.
It cheapens it.
But w... what do we do?
Wait. I've got an idea.
A sandwich, that could ride like a horse?
Think about it.
According to my projections, Savio will hit this zoo in three hours.
Luckily, that vengeful maniac is forgetting one thing.
We still got our Big Grey on our side.
Ready for another Savio-pounding launcher?
You bet. Just as soon as I open...
this mysterious package, that came from Hoboken.
Oh, it's big ...
...not Ho-bo-ken!
Don't open that!
Savio sends his regards.
Taking out the biggest threat. Well played, Savio.
Well, clearly he's a vengeful genius. And we're all doomed.
- Help! Help! - I'm panicking!
Easy, little tuna-med.
Sorry, people.
For when no one listens to reason,
I'm forged to speak the language of nuts.
This one said "hello" to my nosehole.
We can still take Savio. But only as united front.
Nobody cracks. No one does anything stupid.
Why you're all so scared defenseless about this?
I say, we take this Savio and then we punch him in the face!
So as usual, ignore everything that Ringtail says ...
as in "Did I hear something gunhaul about that gundigger"?
If by "gunhaul" you mean: I'm gonna hold up this Savio and smack him around!
Like that. Yeah, baby! That's it.
You're seriously not scared?
We're still talking about Savio?
Yeah. Big teeth, long booty...
fancy continental accent, he think, is so classy.
Bring him on to me!
Enough!
Ain't so bad. Ain't so bad.
There gonna be no rematch.
Come on!
All right, give me two-man teams.
Establish perimeter defenses.
I want this zoo wired hotter than a Brazilian Hanuka!
Go!
Now I'll need a cool fearless head as my own buddy.
Ringtail, I can't believe I'm gonna say this...
...but that guy is you.
- Partner hug! - Oh, no.
Alright Ringtail, I think a 3-layer defense grid.
Level 1 - the minefield.
Ok, what's next?
Well, we take clear path through the minefield to the others and then...
What?
Level 2 - electrified fence.
- It was not my fault. - Level 3:
Mortitudes. loaded with pure knockout spray.
The cute old gas.
No, no!
What do you say, soldier?
I say: Hey Savio, who's gonna save you
from that?
Taunting and brute.
I don't know where this 180 turn came from, Ringtail,
but I'm diggin' it.
Yeah. I was pretty awesome this time.
Alright, men and Marlene.
Some of you, I know, are wondering whether or not, you'll chicken out under fire.
Don't worry about it.
When you put your hand into a fist-shape,
then you realize ... wait, this is an ice cream sandwich and chicken, shaped like a clown.
You know what to do!
I like old Julien.
What if we kicked him into the snake, just give us enough time to run?
Any foot-touching is good for touching.
He's hit the mines! For positions!
No visual yet, but ...
he cleared the minefield!
I don't see him, Skipper.
Fall back, Privates. Shock unit, talk to me.
Electrified fence is still operative, Skipper ... oh.
He goes through the wall! He's through.
Fall back! Gassy-lassie, you're up!
Hey, I did not agree to that ...
Is he out?
All units: Don't save positions! Moving, Ringtail!
Aye, Skip-king!
Shields up!
We drilled for this, people. Just maintain the circle.
Remember, this Savio is nothing. He's ...
Hello.
Snake! Savio is the snake?
I thought that was that guy!
You know, big teeth, long booty ...
I'm my own kind of beautiful.
Oh, shut up with the fancy continental accent, already!
You aren't impressing anybody!
Oh, shields! How adorable, I can just eat you up.
Stand fast, as long there are no gaps in a circle ...
I have to go. I don't want be eaten. Goodbye!
... ah, we could be safe.
Since when the inside of a snake belly looks like the garage?
Don't worry, succulent one. Soon you all will be consumed ...
without narration, when I tell you about my plan for revenge.
I'm going to swallow you one by one,
so the last chosen will see his friends go before him.
And then I'll regurgitate you out and swallow you again.
But this time in reverse order, so none feels left out of the "watch-everybody-get-eaten" thing.
Well, then, way to make it your own.
I like to take the time to chew ...
on my ideas.
But we're still one lemur shorter of full revenge set.
And so, until I return ...
... ciao.
That is also reference to the fact that I'm not to eat you.
We got it.
Fantastic.
- Hello. - Ringtail?
Quick, I think I can guide you to pick this lock.
Now, it's a wave tumbler model with at least 7 variable spring loaded...
Yeah, that sounds hard.
I'm here for more the ... last request ... sort of things.
So OK, I've got the banjo.
And if you feel snacky, there's some day old popcorn, over there.
Do you know "Ave Maria"?
Boring!
This one is way better. Check it out.
"I'm a sandwich riding cowboy ... "
I knew you have your flaws, Ringtail,
but even at your worst moments,
I've never peg you for a yellow belly slimy coward.
Ok, whoa. That stinks.
It's like you never really knew me.
Anywho, peace out, my people.
Oh, the complete buffet.
That's the snake!
Oh no! Not that way!
Be tall, Ringtail!
You got to decide, what kind of man you gonna be!
Still the yellow belly slime guy!
He's going to die, the way he lived. Stupid.
Artificial butter flavor. How ... tasteful of you.
Bye bye!
Boys, butter me up!
Your leadership is impeccable.
And your mask is an intoxicating blend of danger and...
Right.
Greasy, greasy!
Julien, you... did it!
I don't accept your thank you-s.
Cause they are cheap and useless.
Give me something shiny, people!
Men, return to base for clean up.
I've got grease, where no grease should ever go.
And so, snakeout ends as these things always do.
With the snake headed home, coated in buttery hydrogenated soil oil.
I can't believe, yellow bellied slimy coward was really the answer.
No, no. This was a team victory.
There was me, the butter ...
Me wearing the butter ...
You know, probably the elephant or something...
The elephant!
This is Chuck Charles, who says ...
Go time! Come on, where's that snake?
I want Savio!
Transcript from eavesdrop: f1nc0 sync: vegemite