£ Theme music
Yeah, it's weird.
Like you have this idea of shit that's gonna happen,
and it's gonna be like all good and that,
and then, like, it doesn't happen.
And if you think about it,
it's kinda weird that I actually thought
that they were gonna come to Dunt.
And Mum and Steve kept telling me they weren't gonna come.
I didn't believe 'em.
Yeah, it's shit.
It's shit when adults are right and kids are wrong.
It's fuckin' heavy! Well fuckin' get Nathan.
Where's fuckin'... We're stuck.
Oi, Nathan!
Nath's going to deaf school tomorrow.
He's fully deaf now, so he's gotta go.
Can someone wave their hands in front of Nathan and get him to help us?
Have you got another lettuce there?
I think we'll churn through those two.
Nathan, get out here!
Nathan! Nathan!
Daniel wants you to go and help him out with the bunks.
Yes.
And we're gonna be moving my Gran into Jamie and Tyson's bedroom.
Yeah, good one.
So this is going to be a three-boy room,
and Gran's going to get her own room,
'cause when you're an old lady you kinda need your own room.
Two, four, six, eight.
It's fun having Gran here, though, like just having her round the house,
'cause I get along with her heaps.
I thought she was going to be heaps more sick, right,
but I thought she'd be like...
..kinda dribbling and um... shaking and stuff.
But she's alright so far.
That's fine. We should keep that covered
'cause the flies are really getting in here.
I've been settling in quite well, yes.
I think the family thought I was going to be
much more of an invalid than I actually am.
I'm... I'm forgetful, but I'm certainly no invalid.
Shall we organise another line, or...?
Kerry's been great. She's been fantastic.
No tension there.
Are they Jamie's cargoes there?
And I've got along quite well with Steve, too, her new husband.
He's a lovely bloke.
Can you get around the other side of the ute?
Yeah, so all in all, so far so good.
No, it's nice. I'll put some photos up and what not.
When you are lost, family is where you turn.
And this is my family.
This is all the family I've got.
And uh... it's... I feel like I'm in a safe place.
So how are you?
Well, Daniel's hooked me up with the computer,
so I've been keeping in touch with all the goings on at Garingal.
He's loving the country.
Daniel said he'd build
a little run for him out the back, so that's good.
Penny and I are very close, so...
..not an easy separation, that one.
So I like to, you know, chat with her as much as I can.
Hello. Hello, Penny!
I do feel terrible about Daniel's party plans for Nathan
and forgetting to invite those special guests.
Get on the end of that.
Daniel's trying not to make me feel guilty,
but I do feel quite responsible.
It's not a good situation there at all.
That'll blow out.
We're still going ahead with Nathan's farewell party.
Just doing it this arvo, you know, with me mates, keeping it low-key.
Mum's invited the Lovells, our neighbours, over.
Just people that know Nath and care about him.
Nath's been such a little shit lately, though.
Like he's been naughtier than ever before.
Just 'cause he knows he's going, he's been a dickhead to me.
Just come over here. Just stand there.
Why does he want a fuckin' photo of me?
For his deaf school. Let me get the photo. Go back further.
Further, you idiot. It's fuckin' weird. What? There.
He's showing off heaps for Gran too.
Ready? Yep. (Water sprays)
You fuckin' little faggot! I got it on the camera!
Fuckin' arsehole! You fuckin' dirty faggot!
Got him, Nath! Piss funny! Piss funny!
Oh Daniel, he's just having fun. You try getting pissed on!
I got it on camera.
Piss funny!
Well, you know, he's out there in the big old world again.
He's on his own. Go down here.
Has Shwayne learned his lesson after being in jail?
I don't think that Shwayne has the ability to learn.
I was talking to Clarice
and we were talking about the fact that Shwayne may be retarded,
and we just didn't get the tests.
Life on the outside, you know, is cool.
It's different to how I remember it, though.
That's 'cause you ain't as famous anymore, nigga.
Shut the fuck up.
Do you know what, we finished my new track, Squashed Nigga.
We finished all that up. Full production on that.
We got that... where's that CD? You got that CD?
Rockin' it with my glasses.
And we got this shit out to the radio stations,
to the record companies.
We got, you know, we got no bites yet,
but it's a new sound, it's a new song...
Exactly. ..and I firmly believe
it's gonna take a while for that shit
to get into the brains of the people, you know what I'm sayin'?
Am I happy to have said goodbye to S.mouse?
Yeah, I'm happy about that.
He is over. He is gone.
There's no more S.mouse.
You know, he is a memory in my head,
because I'm movin' on from that shit, you know?
I don't miss bein' him. You wanna know why?
Because that's not who I am. I'm Shwayne Jnr.
Being adored by fans,
having people, you know, hysterical, chasing you round the shopping malls,
all that shit, I don't miss that, no way.
If you don't recognise me 'cause I'm bein' me,
then that's fine by me, you know what I'm sayin'?
Pull over here. Here?
I'm very much willing to put the past in the past
and start to focus on the future.
Wind the window down. Let's see if they recognise me here.
£ ..slap my bow slap my el, slap my bow
£ Slap my elbow... £
Yeah, here they come. He knows me.
He knows me.
Oh shit...
What the fuck?
'Cause I am a creative being, you know what I'm sayin'?
I gotta create shit.
No matter what goes down, no matter who kicks me in the ass
and says your shit is shit, you know?
I turn around to them and I say, 'I'm gonna create shit forever.'
I got so much goin' on, I don't know where to start.
So what you wanna do now, nigga?
I don't know.
I don't think I've ever had a more eventful month in my life.
It's been unreal. So much shit's happened.
I had my court case over the Packo shooting.
Lucky for me Packo told the truth, said I wasn't there.
So I ended up getting off.
Yeah, Ashleigh's got nailed for that, so he's gone back inside.
Straight after the court case I decided to go and have my surgery.
So yeah, I had my artificial balls operation.
Got my balls again.
So yeah. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it was going to hurt,
and the results are amazing.
Looks pretty realistic, don't ya reckon? My balls?
Yeah, they're totally realistic. Yeah.
And I don't know, it's just I feel like I've got this new confidence.
I think I just ... I think I just love having balls again.
I've restarted the Fat Boy Surf School.
I worked out that if I got the Mucca Mad Boys involved as instructors,
then it was gonna be way easier.
How are you boys going? ALL: Yeah, it's alright.
Yeah, so I got a ratio of two Mad Boys to each Fat Boy.
So yeah. So it's been goin' unreal so far.
Here comes a big one, mate.
Just waiting for that tide to come in, mate.
It's good for the town, too,
'cause it's keeping the Mad Boys off the streets.
Keepin' 'em busy, giving them a purpose, hey.
Stop 'em from scaring the tourists off.
(All cheer and applaud)
But probably the biggest news is that Kareena's back and she's had a baby.
Go slow, you two.
You know, we had our ups and downs leading up to the birth of Tyrone.
You know, a lot of arguments.
I put it down to hormones,
'cause apparently in the last trimester
the chicks go a little bit weird.
Here he is, little Tyrone. (Laughs)
Say hi to the cameras, little fella.
Yeah, little man. He's cute, isn't he? Yeah, Tyrone.
We were going to call him Blake,
but I thought that might be a bit lovo, you know, mini-Blake.
So we went with Tyrone. So good, though.
I highly recommend it.
If you ever get the chance to have a baby, have one. It's awesome.
It's really changed him. Like he's been really...
..you know, we had a really good chat
about Blake pulling back on his gang commitments,
and just focus on really being a good dad.
Me and Hunter were saying, when Tyrone grows up,
well not even when he grows up, like now,
he's got instant membership into Mucca Mad Boys.
Even if he's a shit surfer, he's in.
He's in, no matter what.
Yeah. We'll get him the tattoo and stuff
when he's about ten or something.
What? When he's about 18. Nah, ten. Like it doesn't hurt.
Are you serious? No way. You want a tattoo?
You want a tattoo, do ya? No, Blake.
Hey look, all I'm saying is that you gonna run out of money eventually.
I'm not gonna run out of money.
You can't sustain this lifestyle, man.
You gotta get you a real job.
I don't need no real job.
You said you liked my new track anyway.
Why you losin' faith in me?
Look, you are not getting it.
Your fans have deserted you, man.
Look, I'm not trying to be harsh or nothing...
That's bullshit. ..but nobody likes your ass no more.
No-one likes your ass, motherfucker. You got no friends.
That's why you're over here right now,
sittin' on my steps, 'cause you got no friends.
Everyone likes me. Shut up, boy. Listen to me, son.
I been studying this. Bobby McFerrin.
You remember, 'Don't Worry Be Happy'?
No.
He's an IT consultant in Seattle right now.
Bullshit.
And the little short girl on Family Ties?
She's workin' the streets.
That's all I'm sayin'. You're making shit up.
OK, OK, I made that shit up. But this shit is true!
This is true, man. People who used to be famous,
they have to get themselves a real job.
I ain't gonna be one of those people.
That's what you don't understand.
Shwayne, get a real job. Get a real job.
Let me help you get a real job, OK?
Get a real friend.
Get someone your own age to hang out with
instead of hangin' out with me and Danthony,
you know what I'm sayin'? Go home, man.
I don't want to hang out with you, boy.
What you doin' here, then?
What's wrong with you? Ain't you got no respect?
I took care of your ass. I respect you, motherfucker.
I respect you more when you back your car out of my driveway and go home.
Tim is much happier these day.
We left Japan. He bought his own place back in Santa Barbara,
and the great thing is that he is now back with all his old friends.
He really come a long way.
He's 16, and he's very own man now.
You go down, and you come back and you flip it...
The great thing is being his manager
has been an amazing experience for me.
Now I'm very happy, and I think Tim is happy too.
You want me to organise you a minivan?
Yeah. Thanks, Bruce! OK.
Everything's been great since I moved back here in Santa Barbara.
I've got new management.
I'm back into skating more competitively now.
I've actually been skating more than I ever did in Japan too.
Me and Amaya are doing well.
We're going to have a long-distance relationship.
Her parents are letting her stay with me during school breaks.
My mum's back here too.
We don't really see each other much.
She's pretty pissed off about the whole firing thing.
I bought her a house here, so I think she's doing fine.
My life has been turned upside down.
The lawyers got involved and Tim has really fucked me up big time.
They claim that Tim is the one who get all the money,
so until we sort that out, I'm pretty much stuffed.
Tim has bought us a family home in Santa Barbara,
but let me tell you, this house is shit.
It is not big enough to swing a dog's dick.
It's got four bedrooms upstairs.
Look at this living room. It's not exactly living it up.
Get off the floor, please. The floor is not for sitting on.
Take the dog outside to do a shit.
Well, we had a lot of excess Gay Style stock left over,
but I found it quite useful for decorating around the new house.
The cock cushions.
Just a scatter cushion like so.
We have just a cock box here where I put my remote.
Oh, and I have my lychee lickable runners.
So that's what I wear.
They're comfy for around the house, too!
I had to sack my housekeeper, Cho,
so now I have to take on full duties of housekeeper and home mum.
Sit up straight, please.
And I have to tell you, being a household mum is shit.
You have to constantly look after your children.
Drink for you.
Cindy is a very difficult child.
She caused a lot of trouble for me.
Very, very naughty.
I give Tim everything.
I give him money, success, a future, and what does he give me in return?
A shit house in the suburbs.
Thank you very much, Tim.
Luckily, my second son, Luke, is doing very well.
I'm still homeschooling him, so he can focus on his golf practice.
You have to try hard if you want to be Tiger Woods!
He wants to go pro one day,
so I am doing my best to encourage that,
and we'll see how we go.
Look!
Look what we got today!
The role of a mother is a very, very hard one.
I've learned that.
You have to do your very best for your children.
You have to devote your life to them.
I'm not perfect. No-one's perfect.
I'm just a mother trying to do my very best.
And if you don't like that, then that's not my fault.
Jump in.
Ah, me and Nath, we're going into town for final farewells.
As a special treat, I'm letting Nath drive,
'cause like we've been training up and that around the farm,
and he's gettin' pretty good.
If we do get busted, then I'm gonna tell the cops
that I'm Nath and he's Daniel.
'Cause same... we look the same, so they won't be able to tell.
Won't stand up in court.
You wanna just do mainies for a while?
It's the last time you're gonna see Dunt, mate.
Should say goodbye to Chloe.
(Beeps horn)
See ya, Nathan!
What the fuck did you do that for?
Fuckin' nob. She's hot.
Yeah, so we're just gonna do all the traditional shit,
do all the stuff Nath loves, just for one last time.
Yeah!
Just visit all the places Nath likes.
Hurry up!
Just do all the stuff that you can do in Dunt.
(Water trickles)
Probably go to the tree where Dad died.
Yeah, me and Nath go there a fair bit.
It's sort of weird and a little bit gay,
but like I talk to Dad at the tree sometimes.
It's just a secret thing that we do.
Sometimes we don't even tell Mum.
Ah, g'day Dad.
Just, um, wanted to bring Nath over,
seein' how he's leaving in the morning,
and Steve's driving him,
so just want to bring him over to say see ya and that.
Um, oh yeah, we had this farewell party planned for him
and we had these... we invited all these legends.
You would have loved it.
It had Blake Oakfield, your favourite surfer.
We had these other blokes.
You wouldn't know 'em, a rapper and a skater.
They were all gonna come, right,
but Gran, your mum, she forgot to invite 'em,
so they're not coming.
It's still gonna be good but,
because we got like, the Lovells are coming and my mates, and...
Yeah. It'll be good.
Um, Dad, I was thinkin', like,
you know how I said that me and Nath were gonna run the farm and that,
and like when we left school just get it all successful and shit?
Well, now Nath's going to deaf school,
it doesn't look like we can do that.
But I was thinkin', like, we're not really like men yet.
We're sorta still a bit like kids.
So when Nath comes back, in like two years,
we'll be more like men.
We'll be like stronger and just know more shit and that.
So that's when we'll do it.
We'll definitely do it.
We'll get it all up and running and successful
and do all the shit we promised, so you don't have to worry.
Um, yeah, that's it.
So Nath wants to, um, have a word,
and he's got a photo that he wants to leave with you
so you don't forget him while he's gone.
So, cool. See ya.
£ MOURNFUL MUSIC
Oi, Nathan! Not there, dickhead!
(Water trickles)
Get in the car.
For fuck's sake.
Nigga, after you finish vacuuming my car,
I'm gonna get you to polish my balls.
Shut the fuck up, man.
I wouldn't let you do that even if you wanted to, nigga.
How'd you like to be locked in?
(Laughs)
You locked in there.
What's happened here?
Some kind of malfunction with the door there.
Open this fuckin' door, man! What's goin' on?
You can't get out of there?
You know what, I'll let you out of there
if you rap my biggest selling... Open the door!
..like my second biggest selling single in the United States.
Rap that. Then I let you out.
You at the animal zoo...
I can't believe you did that shit, motherfucker.
You still do that shit, motherfucker!
You cryin'? Are you cryin'?
You can do the rest yourself. Danthony, are you cryin'?
There's no need to cry about that, motherfucker.
Don't fuckin' do that shit! What now, nigga?
Don't fuckin' do that. What now, nigga?
Don't fuckin' do that. You wanna fuckin'...
Hey, yo, yo, wait, hold up, hold up.
DJ: ...is actually S.mouse, right. That's his real name.
Now he's got this new song. Oh, fuck!
I want you guys to hear it and let me know what you think.
Crazy record. You know, I hear new records all the time.
Call me up and let me know what you think about this.
This is new music from Shwayne Jnr on 106.
(Song plays)
Motherfuck! Come on.
Yeah, listen to this. Listen to this shit.
Yo, yo. Oh, man!
I fuckin' told you. I fuckin' told you!
Motherfucker, they playin' your song!
Yeah, yeah! I said that.
They got my fuckin' demo! Motherfuck! (Laughs)
£ ..the truck smashed through his door, brother
£ Yeah, nigga, it's true... £
I'm gonna be rich, Dad. I'm gonna be fuckin' rich!
You're a recordin' motherfuckin' artist!
Yeah!
£ Squashed nigga, squashed nigga
£ I feel like a squashed nigga
£ Squashed nigga... £
The Fat Boy surf school, it's going off.
I'm stoked with the progress.
Yeah, we've had way less broken boards
and we're getting a few of the young blokes up and standing.
(Applause)
Well done, Peter!
Standing! Did you see him surfing?
It's good to do something for the community, you know?
It's good to be giving back.
I've decided recently that I'm going to give surfing a go again.
I'm going to come out of retirement and make a comeback.
I've agreed to do the Billabong Legends of Surfing Tour,
so yeah, I've been in training for that.
Hey, Dad!
I think it's the new balls, to be honest.
I think the new balls have sort of given me confidence.
Oi, Packo's up there.
He must have heard.
What a dickhead.
Yeah, today's a big day, actually,
'cause I've decided that I'm going to surf Blakey's.
It's probably the first time in ten years that I've done that.
Righto boys, let's go!
Oi Packo, this'll teach you for shooting my balls off!
I'm back!
I'm shitting myself a little bit, to be honest,
but, you know, it's going to be good to reclaim it.
Mucca, Mucca, Mucca! ALL: Oi, oi, oi!
Mucca, Mucca, Mucca! Oi, oi, oi!
Mucca! Oi!
Mucca, Mucca, Mucca! Oi, oi, oi!
Daniel, the Lovells just called.
They're not going to be able to make it to the party, so it's just us.
Did you hear what I said, Daniel?
Yep. Right, grub's up, fellas.
There's chips and sambos.
Did you wanna chuck this in the fire, man?
Yeah, might as well burn it.
Steve and Nathan are leaving
first thing in the morning to go to Adelaide.
Getting up real early and that.
I don't know if I can be fucked getting up for it.
I just hate like the big gay farewell shit and all that,
so probably won't get up.
It's gonna be weird not having Nath around, though.
Like I'm not gonna miss him, but it's just gonna be weird.
Oi, Nathan! Get over here.
We're all here for you, you dickhead.
It'd be nice to get a photo of the boys.
Yes, like a group shot.
Yeah. Yes, that's a good idea.
Oh, it's lovely out here.
Penny would have loved it.
Is that your mate from jail?
Yeah, she loved the country.
Well perhaps you should ask her to come out and visit.
That'd be lovely, Kerry. Thanks for that.
Would have been good if the Legends did come,
but it's still good,
like just having my mates and friends and family and shit around.
Boys, you going to light that fire or what?
Yeah. You got the fire lighters?
I don't know where they are, man.
In the back of Steve's car.
Oi, Nathan! Nath!
Go and get the fire lighters out of the back of Steve's ute.
But havin' those blokes here, Blake, Tim, S.mouse,
oh, that would have been a legendary party.
Would have been an awesome send off for Nathan.
Yeah, Nath would have remembered that forever.
(Vehicle approaches)
(Inspirational music swells)
Closed Captions by CSI