1 00:00:01,709 --> 00:00:04,477 Kids, if there's one big theme to this story... 2 00:00:04,531 --> 00:00:06,632 and I swear, we're totally almost, 3 00:00:06,634 --> 00:00:09,134 not really all that close to the end... It's timing. 4 00:00:09,648 --> 00:00:10,945 Timing is everything. 5 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,053 For example, I never would met your mother, 6 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,486 if it weren't for a wedding. 7 00:00:14,488 --> 00:00:17,406 The last wedding I ever thought I'd be at. 8 00:00:18,158 --> 00:00:19,608 What do you think of this tie? 9 00:00:19,633 --> 00:00:20,882 Oh, thank God. 10 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:22,369 Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, 11 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:25,453 you assume there's at least one dead hooker in the closet, right? 12 00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:32,220 Is this one better? 13 00:00:32,236 --> 00:00:35,456 Look, the tie is great and you know, it's perfectly normal 14 00:00:35,457 --> 00:00:37,110 to have some pre-wedding jitters. 15 00:00:37,111 --> 00:00:38,777 I'm not having jitters. 16 00:00:39,149 --> 00:00:40,044 It just occurs to me 17 00:00:40,045 --> 00:00:42,995 that once I put this tie on, I can never take it off. 18 00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,945 I have to wear this tie forever and ever. 19 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,638 And sure, this tie's skinny now, 20 00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:50,356 but what happens if it gets fat and starts bossing me around? 21 00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:51,608 Did I make a mistake? 22 00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:54,109 Would I have been happier with the other tie? 23 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,230 Ted, can I tell you a big secret? 24 00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:00,797 Yeah, of course. 25 00:01:02,768 --> 00:01:06,028 - I'm not really talking about the tie. - No, I got that buddy. Yeah 26 00:01:07,242 --> 00:01:09,238 I wonder if this whole thing's a disaster. 27 00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:12,559 What if this is the worst wedding ever? 28 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:13,760 Not possible. 29 00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:15,508 We've already been to the worst wedding ever. 30 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,362 Punchy's wedding. 31 00:01:17,363 --> 00:01:20,031 Marshall really took a two flusher on that one. 32 00:01:20,588 --> 00:01:22,522 The story of how Uncle Marshall ruined 33 00:01:22,523 --> 00:01:23,917 my friend Punchy's wedding 34 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,968 starts in September, 2011. 35 00:01:26,227 --> 00:01:28,241 Punchy had asked me to be his best man. 36 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:29,236 - Hey. - Hey. 37 00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:31,286 Guys, uh, before we go, would you mind 38 00:01:31,287 --> 00:01:32,368 reading my wedding toast? 39 00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:34,769 - Oh, yeah, no problem. - Uhm, all right, if I have to. 40 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,987 - All right. - Whoa. 41 00:01:37,795 --> 00:01:39,360 There's a few different versions. 44 00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:45,824 through a karaoke mic at a bowling alley. 45 00:01:46,143 --> 00:01:48,093 Okay, look, I've never told you guys this, but... 46 00:01:48,844 --> 00:01:51,576 Over the years, a few of my old high school buddies 47 00:01:51,577 --> 00:01:53,792 have asked me to give wedding toasts, 48 00:01:53,793 --> 00:01:58,096 and they haven't gone great. 49 00:01:58,676 --> 00:02:00,984 Somehow those weddings all fell smack-dab 50 00:02:00,985 --> 00:02:02,749 in the worst moments of my life. 51 00:02:02,796 --> 00:02:05,830 Joel and Mora's love is a beautiful thing. 52 00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:09,818 I thought I had that... 53 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:12,663 till my fiancée left me at the altar last week. 54 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:16,326 I was asked not to talk about this, so I won't. 55 00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,968 I sit outside her house at night sometimes. 56 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:26,131 She got a haircut. 57 00:02:26,132 --> 00:02:28,365 After I lost my job last week, uh... 58 00:02:28,541 --> 00:02:30,383 I was asked not to give this toast... 59 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,637 No, no, no! 60 00:02:31,638 --> 00:02:33,504 The happy couple needs to hear this. 61 00:02:33,578 --> 00:02:35,612 Things end. 62 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:40,082 But from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, 63 00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:43,085 hope can rise anew. 64 00:02:43,436 --> 00:02:46,237 That is why I'm starting my own architecture firm... 65 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,498 Mosbius Designs. 66 00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:51,213 Mosbius Designs has failed. 67 00:02:52,363 --> 00:02:56,632 But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that... 68 00:02:58,268 --> 00:03:00,903 Oh, God! 69 00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:04,929 Classic Schmosby. 70 00:03:05,053 --> 00:03:08,805 Whoa. Punchy posted the low points of your life online? 71 00:03:09,113 --> 00:03:10,696 Oh, not just that. 72 00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:13,336 ♪ Mosbius Designs has failed ♪ 73 00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:16,313 ♪ But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that... ♪ 74 00:03:16,453 --> 00:03:18,669 ♪ Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha... ♪ 75 00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,838 Oh, God! 76 00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:24,418 So now I seem like a total train wreck 77 00:03:24,419 --> 00:03:26,452 to all my old high school friends. 78 00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,058 And a bunch of people in Finland. 79 00:03:28,682 --> 00:03:31,717 The auto-tune thing got kind of big over there. 80 00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:34,323 That's why I have to nail this toast. 81 00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:37,208 Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding... 82 00:03:37,691 --> 00:03:39,775 lose the Trapper Keeper. 83 00:03:40,473 --> 00:03:42,525 The only thing you need to bring to Cleveland, 84 00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:43,720 is this. 85 00:03:43,721 --> 00:03:44,638 That fall I became 86 00:03:44,639 --> 00:03:46,866 the youngest architect in the history of New York 87 00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,500 to break ground on a skyscraper. 88 00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:51,216 Which led to a glowing magazine feature. 89 00:03:51,217 --> 00:03:52,699 I planned on having it framed... 90 00:03:52,907 --> 00:03:54,657 Uncle Barney had different plans. 91 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:55,947 Here's your toast... 92 00:03:55,948 --> 00:03:58,765 "Single file, ladies. No fatties" 93 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,196 That's ridiculous. 94 00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:01,578 Yeah, you're right. It's Cleveland. 95 00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:04,035 "Single file, ladies" 96 00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:10,068 How I Met Your Mother 7x01 - The Best Man 97 00:04:10,069 --> 00:04:14,569 Sync by vNaru - Corrected by elderman www.addic7ed.com 98 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,433 I'm not going to Punchy's wedding 99 00:04:19,434 --> 00:04:21,618 to brag about a magazine... 100 00:04:22,361 --> 00:04:23,484 cover. 101 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:26,307 Barney, he doesn't need dating advice from you. 102 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,326 You never even called Nora. 103 00:04:28,454 --> 00:04:30,103 Kids, you remember Nora. 104 00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:32,899 But just the other day... 105 00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,912 I'll call you. It's never too late, Barney. 106 00:04:36,074 --> 00:04:37,607 Or did you call her? 107 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,201 Not that I care. Did you? 108 00:04:39,202 --> 00:04:40,802 I don't care. Did you? 109 00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:43,321 I haven't called her. 110 00:04:43,419 --> 00:04:44,461 - Damn it, Barney. - But, it's... 111 00:04:44,462 --> 00:04:47,014 I was really, really, really rooting for you two. 112 00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:48,041 Who wants hot wings? 113 00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:48,840 I'm in. 114 00:04:48,841 --> 00:04:51,244 Or maybe we should just pour hot sauce on Barney, 115 00:04:51,245 --> 00:04:52,628 since he's a total chicken. 116 00:04:52,811 --> 00:04:54,511 I did not chicken out. 117 00:04:54,513 --> 00:04:56,241 Nora is looking for something serious. 118 00:04:56,242 --> 00:04:57,306 I'm not. End of story. 119 00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,152 And yes Robin, I would love some wings. 120 00:05:00,153 --> 00:05:01,357 Cannibal. 121 00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:03,741 - Okay, next round's on me. - Oh, no, we got it. 122 00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:05,708 Now Lily and Marshall had just found out 123 00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:07,208 they were having a baby. 124 00:05:07,309 --> 00:05:10,071 I can't wait to tell everyone. Baby, no. 125 00:05:10,072 --> 00:05:12,489 We can't tell anyone. Not until three months. 126 00:05:12,581 --> 00:05:13,980 I don't want to jinx it. 127 00:05:13,982 --> 00:05:16,166 That's a bit superstitious, don't you think? 128 00:05:16,168 --> 00:05:19,119 Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane. 129 00:05:19,121 --> 00:05:20,704 Have we crashed even once? 130 00:05:20,706 --> 00:05:24,007 Don't say a word until we know everything's okay. Deal? 131 00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:26,960 Deal. But everything's just going to be great. 132 00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:29,306 I promise. 133 00:05:29,346 --> 00:05:31,513 How can you guarantee that? 134 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,552 Come here. 135 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,873 I'm just so happy. I don't know 136 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:43,150 how we're going to keep this secret for three months. 137 00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,618 Relax. It'll be easy. 138 00:05:45,866 --> 00:05:46,780 What'll you have? 139 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,737 Four beers, plus one non-alcoholic. 140 00:05:48,738 --> 00:05:51,489 You're pregnant! Get in here! 141 00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:54,287 And so we all headed to my hometown 142 00:05:54,289 --> 00:05:56,724 where we planned to celebrate Punchy's big day. 143 00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,414 Uncle Barney had different plans. 144 00:05:58,415 --> 00:05:59,798 Get ready, Cleveland. 145 00:05:59,854 --> 00:06:01,448 The last man to screw you this hard 146 00:06:01,449 --> 00:06:03,616 then disappear was LeBron James. 147 00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:07,297 Ok, you're trying to get laid here? 148 00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:08,646 - What? - God, Barney, 149 00:06:08,647 --> 00:06:10,032 tonight is a magical night 150 00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,500 between Ted's annoying friend and what's-her-face. 151 00:06:12,558 --> 00:06:13,757 Have some respect. 152 00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:15,708 This isn't just getting laid. 153 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,377 This is market research. 154 00:06:17,379 --> 00:06:21,714 You see, my legendary success rate of 83%... 155 00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,850 17%. It's always the inverse. 156 00:06:23,852 --> 00:06:25,652 ...doesn't happen by accident. 157 00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:27,661 Every single play I run on women 158 00:06:27,662 --> 00:06:29,535 has been meticulously field-tested. 159 00:06:29,536 --> 00:06:33,413 By weeding out the bad plays in smaller markets, like Cleveland, 160 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,357 I know which ones will work in New York. 161 00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:36,324 For example, 162 00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:38,782 tonight marks the inaugural flight 163 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,418 of the escaped manslaughterer. 164 00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:44,454 Are escaped manslaughterers sexy? 165 00:06:44,456 --> 00:06:45,571 - No. - Not even remotely. 166 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,367 Exactly. We'll never know unless 167 00:06:47,368 --> 00:06:48,984 I try it out tonight. 168 00:06:49,461 --> 00:06:51,127 Schmosby! 169 00:06:51,129 --> 00:06:53,602 - Turd-faces! What's up?! - Yeah 170 00:06:53,603 --> 00:06:55,278 You really feel that ring now. 171 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,761 So glad you all made it. 172 00:06:57,085 --> 00:06:59,352 Open bar. Drink up, turd-faces, 173 00:06:59,354 --> 00:07:01,521 'cause Kelly's dad's paying for all this, 174 00:07:01,523 --> 00:07:03,807 and he hates my guts. 175 00:07:04,182 --> 00:07:05,226 It's true. 176 00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:07,310 Who's doing shots? Come on, let's go. 177 00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:08,594 Oh, no, thank you. 178 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:09,846 What are you pregnant or something? 179 00:07:09,848 --> 00:07:11,147 Let's get hammered! 180 00:07:12,784 --> 00:07:14,434 You're drinking for two tonight, baby. 181 00:07:15,205 --> 00:07:18,036 I will do this for the child. 182 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,395 - Go Browns! - Go Browns! 183 00:07:21,884 --> 00:07:23,087 In AFC regular season play, 184 00:07:23,088 --> 00:07:25,008 but if they mean the Super Bowl, go Vikings. 185 00:07:25,109 --> 00:07:26,609 Yowza! 186 00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:31,322 Uhm, Ok. Escaped manslaughterers, not sexy. 187 00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:34,544 Although in hindsight, that was kind of a flawed concept. 188 00:07:34,673 --> 00:07:37,123 Next up, patient zero. 189 00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:43,650 Lily, we are getting sloshed tonight. 190 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,165 That's all you, baby. 191 00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:47,116 No, I'll be four shots in with no food. 192 00:07:47,402 --> 00:07:50,675 In nine months, I'll be pushing a pumpkin-headed Eriksen baby 193 00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:51,485 out of my hoo-ha. 194 00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:53,737 I think Papa can manage a few extra cocktails. 195 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:55,784 Well played. 196 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,165 Hakuna Matata! 197 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,666 I, uh, I got to get some air. 198 00:08:07,338 --> 00:08:09,277 Kids, remember how I told you 199 00:08:09,278 --> 00:08:11,528 Marshall ruined Punchy's wedding? 200 00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:13,336 That wasn't it. 201 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,444 God, will you look at that guy. 202 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,563 I wish Barney were my boyfriend again. 203 00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:20,630 No, thanks. 204 00:08:20,781 --> 00:08:22,621 Wait a minute. That's your truth voice. 205 00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:23,986 My what? 206 00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:26,280 Whenever you're trying to pass something off as a joke, 207 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:29,633 but it's actually profoundly true, you use that voice. 208 00:08:30,287 --> 00:08:32,360 I wish the Spice Girls would get back together. 209 00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:33,995 They were awesome. 210 00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:35,934 The worst. 211 00:08:41,508 --> 00:08:43,859 That was me. I totally cut one. 212 00:08:45,823 --> 00:08:47,224 That guy. 213 00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:50,276 Birthday present from my dad. 214 00:08:50,806 --> 00:08:53,341 All I really want is for him to tell me that he loves me. 215 00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:55,338 Just kidding. 216 00:08:55,339 --> 00:08:56,672 This pen's enough. 217 00:08:57,089 --> 00:08:58,871 It's not enough. 218 00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:01,040 It's totally enough. 219 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:03,850 Oh, my God. 220 00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:07,620 You still have feelings for Barney. 221 00:09:11,873 --> 00:09:15,140 Admit it, you still have feelings for Barney. 222 00:09:15,169 --> 00:09:18,070 You are drunker than I thought. 223 00:09:18,781 --> 00:09:21,372 - I mean, look at the guy. - Wait, wait, wait. 224 00:09:21,373 --> 00:09:24,118 Before you go, please answer the following survey, 225 00:09:24,119 --> 00:09:26,098 to help me better bang you in the future. 226 00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,066 What didn't work for you about this play? 227 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,633 Did you? A) Not believe, 228 00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:33,386 I was a Guinness Book world record holder? 229 00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:37,023 Or B) did the fingernails gross you out? 230 00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:38,788 Th... 231 00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:41,216 Can't wait for your toast, Schmosby. 232 00:09:41,217 --> 00:09:43,667 Yeah, here come the waterworks. 233 00:09:43,764 --> 00:09:46,399 Wait. You're rooting for me to melt down at your own wedding? 234 00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:47,783 Yeah, everyone is. 235 00:09:47,785 --> 00:09:49,869 Plus a few new friends from Finland. 236 00:09:53,878 --> 00:09:55,875 Hey, good luck, Schmos. Good luck, good luck. 237 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,444 Take it. 238 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,880 Show them how awesome you are. 239 00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:05,108 Shamelessly plug yourself, so you can shamelessly plug, 240 00:10:05,109 --> 00:10:07,426 - let's say that. - I told you, 241 00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:09,688 I'm not here to brag, okay? 242 00:10:09,904 --> 00:10:10,822 That's it. 243 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,961 You're too polite to brag. 244 00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:14,440 Well, fine. 245 00:10:15,252 --> 00:10:16,385 Let me. 246 00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:18,878 Because the only person on Earth, 247 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:21,808 who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, 248 00:10:21,809 --> 00:10:23,989 is drunk Marshall Eriksen. 249 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,440 So game on. 250 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,711 Kids, remember how I told you 251 00:10:33,712 --> 00:10:36,245 Marshall ruined Punchy and Kelly's wedding? 252 00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:39,258 That wasn't it either. 253 00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:43,894 Barney and I tried and failed. That was two years ago. 254 00:10:43,895 --> 00:10:46,098 Why would I ever go down that road again? 255 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,593 It wouldn't even make sense. 256 00:10:47,595 --> 00:10:50,012 It doesn't have to make sense. It's chemistry. 257 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,963 Look, I've always had a sixth sense about these things. 258 00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:55,531 And now that I'm pregnant... 259 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,662 with this idea in my mind-uterus, 260 00:10:58,963 --> 00:11:00,742 I see things even clearer. 261 00:11:01,363 --> 00:11:05,288 You and Barney have the kind of chemistry that just... doesn't go away. 262 00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:09,568 Really? Then why is he trying to LeBron anything that moves? 263 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,396 Did this not work for you, because... 264 00:11:11,397 --> 00:11:13,538 A) Vampires are played out. 265 00:11:13,998 --> 00:11:17,104 Or... B) claiming that I also invented Facebook 266 00:11:17,105 --> 00:11:19,556 was kind of a hat on a hat? 267 00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:23,821 You're the reason he never called Nora. 268 00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:26,460 You're the reason he's only test-marketing tonight. 269 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,709 And you're the reason he keeps striking out on purpose. 270 00:11:29,754 --> 00:11:31,187 Chemistry. 271 00:11:32,649 --> 00:11:34,829 Whoa! Ted! 272 00:11:35,723 --> 00:11:39,159 Is that really you on the cover of New York magazine? 273 00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:41,098 Now, you say "yes" 274 00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,758 - Please stop. - Schmosby. 275 00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:43,808 What's this about a magazine? 276 00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:46,296 You know what, Clay? It's no big deal. 277 00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:48,618 You know what? It is a big deal. 278 00:11:48,697 --> 00:11:53,097 Clay, my friend Ted is designing a skyscraper, Clay. 279 00:11:53,098 --> 00:11:54,863 What have you been up to, Clay? 280 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,108 Well, I'm still working at the rental car company... 281 00:11:57,109 --> 00:11:59,025 Bravo, bravo, Clay. 282 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,853 Any major publications want to write an article 283 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,070 about your sweet rental car gig? 284 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,554 No, no articles. 285 00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,082 My life's pretty dull. 286 00:12:07,245 --> 00:12:12,433 - I guess the only news is this little gal. - Oh, my God, wook at the wittle baby. 287 00:12:12,797 --> 00:12:14,547 She is so cute. 288 00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:17,416 All I want to do is put her little feet 289 00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,535 in my mouth. 290 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,254 You've created something truly beautiful. 291 00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:24,273 She is my everything. 292 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,984 I mean, it's kind of a big deal... 293 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,687 the building, you know? 294 00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:31,071 Hey, little one. 295 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,542 So, this little angel's already sleeping through the night? 296 00:12:33,935 --> 00:12:35,975 I've had some sleepless nights... 297 00:12:36,392 --> 00:12:38,076 designing this building. 298 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:43,575 Nothing symbolic about that. 299 00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:45,744 Let it go. 300 00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:48,895 There is no chemistry left between me and Barney. 301 00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:50,503 - We're done. - Oh, really? 302 00:12:50,809 --> 00:12:52,455 Prove it. Go tell him. 303 00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:53,930 Why would I go tell him that? 304 00:12:53,931 --> 00:12:57,733 Because deep down, even if he isn't aware of it himself, 305 00:12:57,765 --> 00:12:59,647 Barney wants to be with you. 306 00:12:59,849 --> 00:13:02,470 And if it's not gonna happen, he deserves to know. 307 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,599 Fine. 308 00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:09,771 Barney, just so everything is crystal clear... 309 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:11,322 I know what you're gonna say. 310 00:13:11,748 --> 00:13:14,749 Let's show Cleveland how it's done. 311 00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:18,180 ♪ The chills that you spill up my back ♪ 312 00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,897 ♪ Leave me filled with satisfaction ♪ 313 00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:23,162 ♪ When we're done, satisfaction of what's to come ♪ 314 00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:27,716 ♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪ ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 315 00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:35,044 ♪ Now I couldn't ask for another ♪ 316 00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,300 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 317 00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:45,804 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 318 00:13:47,274 --> 00:13:50,976 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ ♪ Ask your mama ♪ 319 00:13:50,978 --> 00:13:53,845 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 320 00:14:01,127 --> 00:14:03,362 ♪ One, two, three ♪ 321 00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:11,113 ♪ Groove is in your heart ♪ 322 00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:13,716 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 323 00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:18,804 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 324 00:14:18,806 --> 00:14:21,557 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 325 00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:25,795 ♪ Groove is in the heart. ♪ 326 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,617 Barney... I... 327 00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:44,507 Sorry. 328 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:49,301 Oh, my God, it's Nora. 329 00:14:54,711 --> 00:14:56,162 Nora's finally calling me back. 330 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,579 Wait, you said you never called her. 331 00:14:57,641 --> 00:14:59,858 I lied. I called her, like, five times. 332 00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:02,111 Wait, wait! 333 00:15:02,181 --> 00:15:03,758 You of all people know how much 334 00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:05,996 I suck at these things. You gotta help me. Please? 335 00:15:06,307 --> 00:15:07,407 Just once I would like 336 00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:09,241 to see what it feels like to not screw things up. 337 00:15:10,349 --> 00:15:12,516 - Yeah, mm-hmm. - Ok. 338 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,696 Hey, Nora. Thanks for calling me back. 339 00:15:15,724 --> 00:15:19,843 Um, hey, hi. The-the-the reason that, um, 340 00:15:19,844 --> 00:15:21,344 I called is, uh... 341 00:15:21,472 --> 00:15:23,198 To tell you how I feel about you. 342 00:15:23,231 --> 00:15:24,631 ...to tell you how I feel about you. 343 00:15:24,642 --> 00:15:26,103 I know we didn't work out the first time... 344 00:15:26,104 --> 00:15:27,937 I know we didn't work out the first time... 345 00:15:28,112 --> 00:15:29,745 ...and I know it doesn't make any sense... 346 00:15:29,747 --> 00:15:31,530 ...and I know it doesn't make any sense... 347 00:15:31,532 --> 00:15:36,487 ...but I can't shake the feeling that we belong together. 348 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:39,288 Is there any part of you that wants to try again? 349 00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:41,823 Is there any part of you that wants to try again? 350 00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:51,839 Baby, I can't take it anymore. 351 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,572 I've gotta tell somebody that we're pregnant. 352 00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:56,164 Eriksen, stay strong. We're keeping this secret. 353 00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:57,690 There's babies everywhere. 354 00:15:57,692 --> 00:15:59,274 It's like a minefield of cuteness. 355 00:15:59,276 --> 00:16:00,776 Look at this little bastard. 356 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,382 Marshall, stop it. Stay strong. 357 00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:06,906 You can't let holding some, some little baby... 358 00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:11,680 oh, with the cute little cheeks and the... the little arms 359 00:16:11,789 --> 00:16:13,522 and little legs... 360 00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:16,085 This son of a bitch has knee dimples. 361 00:16:16,377 --> 00:16:18,043 Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant. 362 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,495 Yeah! 363 00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:40,649 You okay? 364 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,934 Nope. You? 365 00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:44,103 Not excessively. 366 00:16:44,105 --> 00:16:45,237 You want to talk about it? 367 00:16:45,239 --> 00:16:46,722 Not even a little. 368 00:16:47,377 --> 00:16:49,811 Might make you feel better. 369 00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:53,539 Okay, fine, I'll make you a deal: 370 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,616 You go first, and then I'll stick with my thing 371 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,062 about not talking about it. 372 00:16:58,992 --> 00:17:00,242 Okay. 373 00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:02,321 All my friends from high school, 374 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,122 they're here with their wives, their kids. 375 00:17:04,887 --> 00:17:07,923 Me? My date for the night is a sticky magazine. 376 00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:10,411 Sounds like high school all over again. 377 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,097 Sorry, it was right there. 378 00:17:14,717 --> 00:17:17,433 I used to believe in destiny, you know? 379 00:17:17,928 --> 00:17:21,362 I'd go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line 380 00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:23,957 reading my favorite novel, whistling the song 381 00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:25,979 that's been stuck in my head all week and I'd think: 382 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:30,507 Wow! Hey, maybe she's the one. 383 00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:31,933 Now I think: I just know 384 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:34,934 that bitch is gonna take the last whole-wheat everything bagel. 385 00:17:35,857 --> 00:17:37,234 You've just been focused on work. 386 00:17:37,235 --> 00:17:41,287 No, it's more than that. 387 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,130 I've stopped believing. 388 00:17:44,581 --> 00:17:46,536 Not in some depressed, 389 00:17:46,537 --> 00:17:48,895 "I'm gonna cry during my toast" way. 390 00:17:48,956 --> 00:17:51,250 Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. 391 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:57,444 It's just, every day, I think I believe a little less 392 00:17:57,445 --> 00:17:59,779 and a little less, and a little less. 393 00:17:59,797 --> 00:18:02,781 And that... sucks. 394 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:07,936 What do I do about that, Scherbatsky? 395 00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:09,649 You're Ted Mosby. 396 00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:12,174 You start believing again. 397 00:18:12,306 --> 00:18:14,690 In what, destiny? 398 00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:17,630 Chemistry. 399 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,916 If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing. 400 00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:22,136 What's that? 401 00:18:22,137 --> 00:18:23,619 Timing. 402 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,988 But timing's a bitch. 403 00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:31,830 Hey, we still have our 40 deal, right? 404 00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:33,364 If we're both still single at 40... 405 00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:35,330 - I'm all yours. - Hmm 406 00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,849 Unrelated, do architects make big money? 407 00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:42,030 - Aggressively medium money. - Damn it. 408 00:18:43,253 --> 00:18:45,653 Schmosby, you're up in two minutes. 409 00:18:47,255 --> 00:18:48,606 Okay, promise me two things. 410 00:18:48,654 --> 00:18:50,904 1) You start believing again. 411 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:55,152 And 2) Don't cry during the toast, Schmosby. 412 00:18:56,214 --> 00:18:58,147 - I promise. - Good. 413 00:19:02,068 --> 00:19:04,252 We're having a baby. 414 00:19:04,662 --> 00:19:06,329 - What, for real? - For real. 415 00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:11,182 Attention, everyone! 416 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,333 It's time for the reason we're all here tonight. 417 00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:15,238 Schmosby's toast! 418 00:19:17,142 --> 00:19:19,692 We're here tonight to celebrate love. 419 00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:24,096 Love brings us new life... 420 00:19:26,617 --> 00:19:27,883 Hey! 421 00:19:31,448 --> 00:19:33,382 This isn't a meltdown. 422 00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,941 These are tears of joy. 423 00:19:37,272 --> 00:19:40,672 Ted is happy for his friends. 424 00:19:41,316 --> 00:19:43,324 'Cause he's the best guy that I know. 425 00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:44,625 And do you know why he's happy? 426 00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:47,869 Because this beautiful lady right here is pregnant. 427 00:19:47,952 --> 00:19:48,932 How did you know that?! 428 00:19:48,933 --> 00:19:51,133 That was supposed to be a secret! 429 00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:53,284 Turns out... 430 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,259 Go Browns! 431 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,170 - Go Browns! - Whoo! 432 00:19:56,171 --> 00:19:57,216 In AFC regular season play, 433 00:19:57,217 --> 00:19:59,234 but if they mean the Super Bowl, go Vikings. 434 00:20:00,545 --> 00:20:02,166 How dare you. 435 00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:04,374 That's my daughter, you piece of garbage. 436 00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:05,910 You're still gonna pay for all this, right? 437 00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:09,432 "Piece of garbage"? That's my son. 438 00:20:09,737 --> 00:20:13,172 And that is how Marshall destroyed Punchy's wedding. 439 00:20:13,781 --> 00:20:15,764 But we didn't care. 440 00:20:16,318 --> 00:20:20,370 There was gonna be a sixth member of our little family. 441 00:20:21,671 --> 00:20:24,062 No wedding will ever, ever be as bad 442 00:20:24,063 --> 00:20:25,804 as that one, right? 443 00:20:27,128 --> 00:20:29,777 I picked the right tie, didn't I? 444 00:20:30,885 --> 00:20:32,174 You nailed it. 445 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,724 And hey, just be glad it's not the ducky tie. 446 00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:36,568 Ooh, the ducky tie. 447 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,770 That's a good story kids. I'll get to that. 448 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,506 Man, we are not even close to the end. 449 00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:46,618 You're a good best man, Ted. 450 00:20:47,732 --> 00:20:49,264 You're gonna cry during the toast, aren't you? 451 00:20:49,265 --> 00:20:50,763 Oh, I'm totally gonna cry. 452 00:20:51,594 --> 00:20:53,078 Come in. 453 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,753 Ted, the bride wants to see you. 454 00:20:57,744 --> 00:20:58,861 Okay. 455 00:21:01,244 --> 00:21:02,911 Really? You're gonna go with that tie?