Welcome back.
Did everybody had a a great summer?
Well, I feel I should mention
we lost one of our favorite seniors.
Sherwood. He used to start each day
with a song that perfectly recapped what was going on.
So, in his honor,
I'd like to sing a song about each one of you.
Let's start with, um...
with Hope.
Hope's father didn't have much going on
Living with his parents, mowing some lawns
His life was going nowhere fast
One night he met a lady and they had a good time
Till he learned she was a killer, the serial kind
And the cops, they fried her ass
But before they did, she birthed him a kid
And Jimmy found a purpose in the world
Though he doesn't have a clue, he somehow manages to
Raise a perfect little girl
Some kids have all the love
A great dad and if that wasn't enough
Hope's got a gang who loves her greatly
Grandma Virginia, sarcastic and funny
Grandpa Burt skims pools for money
And Maw Maw, she's just crazy
Hope's life wouldn't be complete-a
Without Jimmy's friend Sabrina
Who Jimmy loves but hasn't told her so
Although, come on, she's got to know
You might think I am a dreamer
But you'll understand just when you meet her
Why everyone loves our little Hope
And since we last saw her
She's gotten bigger, stronger, smarter
She feeds herself and walks and can say "No"
These few months, we sure have missed her
But we welcome back our daycare sister
Welcome back to Hope
Welcome back to Hope.
Whoo!
Here we go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
See that guy?
That's Daddy when he was 13.
I just drew a superhero.
I'm going to put it on a T-shirt and then...
- Bird in the house! - Bird in the house!
Get ready. Here it comes.
Yes!
I don't remember this exactly, but...
Seems like a pretty average day from my childhood.
It kind of tickles.
Wait, no, it doesn't.
It's pecking! It's pecking!
2011, and still no jet packs.
I feel like I should write a letter to somebody.
What you watching?
I'm just showing Hope some home movies
of me as a kid.
Whoa, hey. Wh-What's that?
Hey, I'm playing the piano.
I used to be able to play the piano?
No, you're not really...
That is so funny.
You really don't remember?
Before it broke, that piano was the kind that could play itself.
So you're just faking it.
That's wild.
Look at Daddy, Hope.
Daddy's funny.
Baby, here I am
I'm the man on the scene
I can give you what you want
But you got to come home with me
I have got some good ol lovin'
And I got some more in store
When I get through throwin' it on you
You gotta come back for more
Boys are things that come by the dozen
But that ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause mama, I'm sure hard to handle now, gets around...
Okay, fine.
At one point in your life
you might have been a little... amazingly talented.
When you were 13, Maw Maw decided to teach you piano.
A music career
may be his only ticket
to get us out of this hell hole.
Unless you think he's smart enough to go to college.
Maw Maw hated yelling at you,
so she started teaching with a partner.
I'm sorry, Maw Maw...
Oh, no, don't apologize to me.
- It's Mr. Jingles who gets angry. A-Flat minor!
I wanted you to play an A. If I wanted A-Flat minor,
I'd have you go play with your girlfriend's chest.
Her methods were unorthodox, but she got results.
Before we knew it,
you were playing right along with your father.
I couldn't believe it.
After 13 years of watching you underachieve
at almost everything, I was finally realizing
that I gave birth to a genius...
a musical genius.
I was so proud to show you off,
I got you a spot in the Natesville Music Academy's
annual recital.
Actions speak louder than words
And I'm a man of great experience
I know you got you another man
But I can love you better than him
Take my hand...
That night, all the teenage girls in the audience
got a bad case of Jimmy fever.
I'm advertising love for free
So you can place your ad with me
Boys are things that come by the dozen
But that ain't nothing but drugstore lovin'
'Cause hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause mama, I'm sure hard to handle now now, gets around...
And I admit it... being the mother
of a genius was addicting.
Wherever we went, I just loved to show you off.
The sun's really shining today, isn't it?
You want to see a son shining?
You should see my son shine.
Jimmy, come here.
Sing that song from the radio.
You know, Mama's favorite.
She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess
If you catch her stealing, she won't confess
She's beautiful
Smokes a pack a day
Wait, that's me, but anyway
Meet Virginia.
That's me... Virginia. Mom of a genius.
Shh!
Stop that. Shut up.
Go ahead, keep singing, honey. They're just jealous.
Well, she wants to be the queen
And she thinks...
You greasy-haired little turds!
When you came to, you didn't know where you were
or how to play piano or sing or anything
from the last eight months.
You had ambrosia.
Anemia. Anemia.
But singing and playing music is a talent.
I'm sure it has to be in here somewhere.
This is killing me.
He had so much talent, and I squandered it.
He could have been an international superstar.
Like David Hasselhoff, or Hello Kitty.
Meet Virginia
Ugh! I can't wait to...
Jimmy, for the love of God, stop it!
You're killing your mother!
I don't know what's harder to believe... that that's you,
or that you haven't changed your hair in ten years.
You stick with what works.
It's too bad you can't play like this anymore, because...
Baby, here I am, I'm the man on the scene
I can give you what you want Whoa.
But you got to come home with me
I have got some good ol' lovin'
And I got some more in store...
For God's sake, Jimmy,
please just give up!
You should have seen Sabrina today.
She's never looked at the real me
the way she looked at the me on the tape.
Of course not, honey.
The you on that tape
had talent and charisma, but that's gone.
I feel terrible,
but we tried everything.
And there was just no bringing it back.
Maybe we should try again.
Uh, what kind of stuff did you do?
What did the doctor suggest?
Don't tell me you didn't take me to a doctor.
I got nailed in the head with a golf club.
It was a putter.
We didn't have insurance.
But we gave you bed rest and we prayed.
And then we gave you every single thing
in the medicine cabinet.
Of course, then you got severe dizziness and stomach cramps.
You were kind of a delicate flower.
And I haven't been able to remember anything
and I haven't been able to play the piano or sing ever since.
That's fascinating,
because when you guys walked in here
I thought for sure you were looking for oxycontin.
Hey, settle this argument for us.
If he got hit on the head and lost eight months of memory,
doesn't it make sense that if he got hit on the head again
he'd get it back?
Oh, you mean like when Gilligan got amnesia
when the Skipper hit him with the board,
and then later in the episode he got his memory back when he
got hit in the head with a coconut?
Yes. See, doctor's with me on this.
No, I wasn't agreeing with you, I was just...
No. Hitting him with a coconut won't work. Don't do that.
In other words, we shouldn't take medical advice from Gilligan?
It wasn't Gilligan's idea.
There was a professor on that island.
Professor.
It's dangerous to get medical advice from a TV comedy.
They tend to make up whatever medical stuff they want as long
as it makes the story work. The truth is,
the therapy that seems to trigger the most recall
is recreating the events that were forgotten.
Recreating? Muscle memory.
Sights, or even smells can unlock the lost memories.
And once they're unlocked, it's like they were never gone.
Ow.
That sounds like crap.
You're clumsier with these keys than a janitor with Parkinson's.
Ow!
Mr. Jingles never liked him.
Everyone was excited about the ideea to me playing piano again.
Mow Mow was looking forward to teaching me.
I was anctious to play for Sabrina.
And mom was looking forward to showing of to her
the talented son, to the Nice Film Musichal Academy, again.
So, everything will be just like it was when I was 13
and I sold the legs of piano bench, and dag up my old T-shirt.
That's horrible.
That's the worst "Chopsticks" I ever heard.
That could make three billion Chinese switch to forks.
The only problem was , nothing worked.
Desperate, we taped my fingers to Maw Maw's,
hoping that muscle memory would kick in
and unlock what that golf club took away.
Not only did that not work,
but I discovered Maw Maw's boobs itch.
And her undies creep up a lot. Oh!
Hey, why aren't you practicing?
Yeah, get in there! Brought a surprise home.
To recreate what happened when that bird got in the house.
Guess what it is.
Death.
You've come for me.
It's no use.
The recital is tomorrow, and I still haven't unlocked it,
and I am sick of Hope watching me suck.
I just have to accept that what I had is gone.
And I'm never getting it back.
You can't give up!
Jimmy, you're not just doing this recital for you!
Think about how guilty your mom feels about what happened. No, Burt.
Me pushing him to be a star is what caused this whole mess.
If he wants to stop, he should stop.
I'm not going to push anymore.
Then I will!
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Burt...
It works! You think Michael Jackson would've been a star
if it wasn't for Joe Jackson's abuse?
Stop it.
He may not be a Michael,
but he could be a Tito, or a Reggie. Get up!
What the hell is the matter with you?
This is all my fault.
First I thought it was cool.
Like we were going to turn into a family band.
Maybe even do a commercial about how much we love cotton.
But then it started to be less about us and more about you.
Shh.
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle...
I was jealous. First of how much attention you were
getting from all those girls in the audience,
but then from all the attention you were getting from my girl.
So I decided to challenge you at something
I knew you couldn't beat me at.
Who wants to go putt-putt golfing?
But the way I played that day,
you'd never know that I owned the course record.
Burt, just pick up the ball and put it on the course.
Nobody cares what your score is.
You know what, you guys go ahead. I'm going to go warn
the manager about some early-onset algae I saw.
It's fine.
Hey, you can't take that putter.
And she thi...
I know it was a horrible thing to do.
You gotta believe how bad I felt all those years.
I'll never forget that day.
September 11, 2001.
The day I threw that damn putter.
I'm so, so sorry.
It's okay, Dad.
It was a freak accident.
Just like me playing the piano was probably a freak accident.
Look at us, we're not great at things.
We're normal at things.
I'm fine with that.
Well, don't beat yourself up too bad about it.
It's not like we're not great at anything.
We're great at drinking beer.
Amen.
You're not taking me
before you take Betty White!
And not for nothing, but I am very, very proud
of the fact that I-I am a very, very, very fast grocery bagger.
You know a talent I have that I have
great proudishness for is my ability
to roll a Frisbee on its side very, very far.
Hey, 90% of the time
I can guess exactly what time it is.
I mean, you know, um... within 20 minutes either way.
You know something we're all great at?
Running fast down a flight of stairs.
Yes. Gravity does most of the work,
but you got to know where to put your feet. Uh-huh.
I will tell you... I'll tell you right now
one of the best... best things that we're great at...
Oh, what's that?
I forgot.
Oh, it was good, too.
I got it, I got it. Damn it.
We're really great at loving each other.
Aw.
Jimmy, as my father, I want you to know
no matter how much you do or do not suck at things,
I am never gonna let you go.
I'm never gonna let you go
Gonna hold you in my arms forever
Gonna try and make up for the times
I hurt you so
Gonna...
Gonna hold your body close to mine
From this day on, we're gonna be together
Oh, I swear this time
I'm never gonna let you go...
Oh, my God...
Jimmy...
How old were you when you started sneaking beers?
Uh, I think I was 13.
Get to the piano!
I'm never gonna let you go
I'm gonna hold you in my arms forever
Gonna try to make up for all the times
I hurt you so
Gonna...
We unlocked it.
We unlocked it!
...we're gonna be together
Oh, I swear this time
I'm never gonna let you go.
Ow. You hit a tangle. Easy.
You don't think Bieber has people fussing over him?
Now be still.
Sabrina was so excited when I told her
I was going to play today.
I'm thinking of doing this Springsteen-Courtney Cox thing
where I bring her on stage.
Tie's done.
Go run through your song a few times.
And open up the windows so the neighbors can hear.
I want that family with the mailbox that
looks like the space shuttle to know we've got
good stuff going on over here, too.
Go on.
He'll warm up.
Baby, here I am
I'm the man on the scene...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ...
What's happening? I don't know!
It's gone.
Everything I could do is gone.
Wait a minute.
What's different about right now from last night?
About eight beers?
That's right. You were drunk.
Okay, this makes perfect sense. I saw an episode of Family Guy
where their dad could only play piano when he was drunk.
Yes!
And I saw a sitcom on ABC
where a lady couldn't speak Italian unless she was drunk.
All right!
You know what else we're great at?
Remembering important things we see on TV
that help us navigate the rough waters of our lives.
Ah. Burt...
stop drinking Jimmy's beers.
All his talent is in those cans.
And let him drink alone? Like some alcoholic?
I may not have been the best father,
but if you think I'm gonna...
Okay, okay. Forget I mentioned it.
Is Jimmy drunk?
He and his father just had a couple drinks
on the way over, you know, just to calm the nerves. Right.
Play "The Devil Went Down to Georgia!"
Our next performer is quite a bit older than the rest,
but I allowed it because his parents
have promised to both cut my lawn
and clean my house for the next month.
James Chance.
I made that boy with my wang!
Baby, I am, I'm the man on the scene
I can give you what you want
But you gotta come home with me
I have got some good ol' lovin'
I got some more in store
I'm gonna go.
I don't think Jimmy will remember seeing me here,
and I'd rather not remember, either.
What is going on?
Did we not get him drunk enough?
He sounds terrible.
What are you talking about? He sounds fantastic.
Pretty little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause, mama, I'm sure hard to handle, now, gets around
Oh, my God.
He wasn't good last night.
We just thought he was because we were all drunk!
Oh.
Did you hear that?
I did.
That wasn't bad.
I mean, I'm not saying it's a song or anything, but...
It sounded like something, right? Am I crazy?
You're not crazy.
That sounded like a couple notes from...
Oh, who's that dude with Barbara Walters' hair
and named after the movie dog?
Beethoven. Yes!
I think she may have your gift.
I got it!
Sometimes as adults
we have to give up the dreams we had as children.
And that stings.
But when you have kids, it stings a little less.
Because the emptiness you feel from your lost dreams
is more than filled up with the dreams you have for them.
If I can stay lucid for an hour after school
Tuesdays and Thursdays, you've got a bright future.
I think she's gonna be great.
And I'm not giving up on you yet, either.
I put that video of you playing on the Internet.
It's got seven hits already.
You might just be famous yet.
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause, mama, I'm sure...
Hard...
To handle...
Whoa-oa-oa...
Yeah
Hey...
Eight hits!
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com