1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,101
Amy is gonna be a baby genius.

2
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,368
Yeah, babe,
she's only eight months.

3
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,369
You don't think
it's a little early for her

4
00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:05,770
to be taking classes?

5
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:07,205
Research says, "no."

6
00:00:07,239 --> 00:00:09,673
Research also says
that this baby class

7
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:11,209
is the best baby class

8
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:13,144
in the greater Los Angeles area, so.

9
00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:14,312
All right, well,
you're working all the time

10
00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:15,580
and taking care of Amy.

11
00:00:15,614 --> 00:00:16,914
When are you doing all this research?

12
00:00:16,948 --> 00:00:19,183
Oh, at drive-throughs,
at stoplights,

13
00:00:19,218 --> 00:00:20,251
during our lovemaking.

14
00:00:20,285 --> 00:00:22,086
- Door?
- Ew, gross.

15
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,690
Come on, please do not
say, "lovemaking."

16
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:29,159
♪ Welcome new
grown-up faces ♪

17
00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:31,073
And you too, little face.

18
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,762
I hope you came to play.

19
00:00:32,796 --> 00:00:35,798
Welcome.

20
00:00:35,833 --> 00:00:38,872
Talk about sensory overload.
Feel like I'm in Tokyo.

21
00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:42,793
- Peek-a-boo!
- Peek-a-boo!

22
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,906
- Peek-a-boo!
- Okay, Amy's parents.

23
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:46,842
I know that you're first-timers,

24
00:00:46,876 --> 00:00:49,466
but let's talk about the issues
with your peek-a-boos.

25
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,079
Well, it's just kind of
peeking, then booing.

26
00:00:51,114 --> 00:00:52,636
- Yeah.
- Name kinda says it all, so.

27
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,013
It's more complicated
than it sounds.

28
00:00:55,179 --> 00:00:56,584
I studied developmental games

29
00:00:56,619 --> 00:00:58,475
when I got my doctorate
at Duke University.

30
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,310
Guy's got a PHD
in peek-a-boo.

31
00:01:00,476 --> 00:01:02,690
God, he's probably got
a master's in got-your-nose,

32
00:01:02,724 --> 00:01:05,860
so be careful.

33
00:01:05,894 --> 00:01:09,597
Now let's focus-pocus
and talk about your peek-a-boos.

34
00:01:09,632 --> 00:01:11,988
They're a little aggressive.

35
00:01:12,154 --> 00:01:14,868
Demo one for me, Amy's mom.

36
00:01:14,902 --> 00:01:15,992
- Peek-a...!
- No, no, no. To me.

37
00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:19,206
Oh, okay.
Peek-a-boo!

38
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,665
Okay. You're really
hitting the "boo,"

39
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,166
which is a scary word.

40
00:01:23,332 --> 00:01:25,585
And what baby wants
their parents to terrify them?

41
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:27,313
No baby.

42
00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:29,182
Try this.

43
00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:32,951
Peek-a-boo!
Peek-a-boo!

44
00:01:32,986 --> 00:01:34,887
- See I'm fading back?
- That's nice.

45
00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:36,304
That's actually
really, really good.

46
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,848
Amy's Dad, why don't you try?

47
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:41,960
Oh, all right, yeah.
Peek-a-boo!

48
00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:43,729
Too much masculine energy.

49
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:44,929
Yeah, I get that quite a...
Don't worry.

50
00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:48,483
- I-I'll knock that down.
- Now Amy's Mom.

51
00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:50,777
Peek-a-boo!

52
00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:52,437
Very good.

53
00:01:52,471 --> 00:01:54,939
Keep practicing.
Getting better.

54
00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:56,575
- Peek-a-boo!
- Peek-a-boo!

55
00:01:56,609 --> 00:01:57,775
Look at her responding to that.

56
00:01:57,810 --> 00:01:58,910
That is amazing.

57
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,877
We're kind of
kicking its butt right now.

58
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,956
Peek-a-boo!

59
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:13,675
Sync.

60
00:02:29,445 --> 00:02:32,241
I am pleased to announce
that the world's foremost

61
00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:34,696
transvestite bangles cover band

62
00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:37,713
will be performing at 6:30 tonight

63
00:02:37,747 --> 00:02:38,992
in the San Fernando Valley.

64
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:40,744
Ooh, the dangles!

65
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,330
Well, they were the dangles.
Now they're manic man-day.

66
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,187
I am telling you, the dude
that plays Susanna Hoffs

67
00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:48,668
makes Susanna Hoffs look like a dude.

68
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,190
- Men dressed as women?
- Mm-hmm.

69
00:02:50,225 --> 00:02:51,892
- No way.
- It's our tradition.

70
00:02:51,926 --> 00:02:54,132
We go every year
because we are awesome.

71
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,696
Yup, and you can count me in.

72
00:02:55,731 --> 00:02:57,064
But I can only stay for one
drink, all right?

73
00:02:57,098 --> 00:02:58,470
'Cause I wanna make it back
for Amy's bedtime.

74
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,401
Oh, okay.

75
00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:02,602
Sure.
One drink.

76
00:03:02,637 --> 00:03:05,138
Ava, I'm serious.
One drink.

77
00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:07,641
"Uno drinko espanolo."

78
00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:10,577
Of course. One drink.

79
00:03:10,611 --> 00:03:11,778
I get it.

80
00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:13,880
Ooh. If I do the pre-interview
over the phone,

81
00:03:13,914 --> 00:03:16,683
I can actually make it
to Amy's class with Mr. Bob.

82
00:03:16,717 --> 00:03:17,984
- Ha ha!
- There it is.

83
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:19,449
Strong working mother.

84
00:03:19,615 --> 00:03:21,387
Killing it at work?
Check.

85
00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:25,591
Kicking being a mom's ass?
Check.

86
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:29,125
Fly, modern woman!
Spread your wings, baby girl!

87
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,896
All right, grown-ups,
on the count of three,

88
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:32,712
we're gonna release the parachute.

89
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:37,602
One, two, three!
Behold!

90
00:03:37,636 --> 00:03:39,771
- Isn't he magical?
- Oh, my God.

91
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:41,372
He just has <i>it.</i>

92
00:03:41,407 --> 00:03:43,775
It's like, have you ever seen
Bruce Springsteen live?

93
00:03:43,809 --> 00:03:45,242
It's just like the same effect.

94
00:03:45,277 --> 00:03:46,911
All right, let's move on
down the road

95
00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:49,771
and do a little <i>trot,
trot to Boston.</i>

96
00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:52,190
Oh, yeah.
Heading down to ol' bean town.

97
00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:54,851
Love that dirty water, you guys.

98
00:03:54,885 --> 00:03:57,779
Don't worry, plenty more where
that came from, Jeffrey's mom.

99
00:03:57,945 --> 00:03:59,489
Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.

100
00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:03,410
Oh! There's my little baby.

101
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,762
Normally, we don't
allow latecomers,

102
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:07,396
but for Amy's mom...

103
00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:09,732
♪ I will make an exception. ♪

104
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:13,253
- Shoes off! Shoes!
- ♪ shoes, shoes ♪

105
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,088
No, you have to take
your shoes off, hon.

106
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,424
Oh, is this not
a song about shoes?

107
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,042
- No.
- Okay, sorry.

108
00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:22,811
Come here. You know what?
I am so hungry.

109
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:26,141
Good thing there are
chicken nuggets in here.

110
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,216
Oh, my gosh, look at that.

111
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,020
She can't believe
she's seeing her mommy.

112
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:33,154
Yeah.
Wait, what?

113
00:04:33,188 --> 00:04:35,957
Let's take a trip to Boston.

114
00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:40,126
♪ trot, trot to Boston
trot, trot to Lynn ♪

115
00:04:40,161 --> 00:04:42,062
♪ you better watch out, Amy ♪
♪ you're gonna grow up ♪

116
00:04:42,096 --> 00:04:47,067
♪ to be a star ♪
♪ or you'll fall in ♪

117
00:04:47,101 --> 00:04:50,373
Okay.
Why is everybody mad?

118
00:04:50,539 --> 00:04:52,072
We don't like
to teach our children

119
00:04:52,106 --> 00:04:54,377
that at any point we might drop
them and cause them harm.

120
00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,338
Oh.

121
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,089
It's all about lifting them up
to be a star.

122
00:04:58,255 --> 00:05:00,480
That's awesome.
Let's...Let's do it. Let's do it.

123
00:05:00,514 --> 00:05:02,147
Babe, don't worry about it.
I made the same mistake.

124
00:05:02,182 --> 00:05:04,484
- Just...Typical aggressive male...
- Okay.

125
00:05:04,518 --> 00:05:06,056
And that got straightened out
by Mr. B, isn't that right?

126
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,349
Sure did, Amy's Dad.

127
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:08,821
Hey, don't be embarrassed.

128
00:05:08,856 --> 00:05:10,560
It's not easy
to be a career mom.

129
00:05:10,726 --> 00:05:11,690
No, it's not, no.

130
00:05:11,724 --> 00:05:13,897
But, uh, I'm managing pretty well.

131
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,994
I get it.
I used to work.

132
00:05:16,028 --> 00:05:18,029
But now I put my new job first,

133
00:05:18,063 --> 00:05:19,861
and that job is to be Kayla's mom,

134
00:05:20,027 --> 00:05:23,031
the most important profession
in the whole world.

135
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:25,033
Isn't that right, precious pie?

136
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:29,407
"Precious pie."
That's so stupid.

137
00:05:29,441 --> 00:05:31,456
♪ I love it
in your room at night ♪

138
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:34,879
♪ you're the only one
who gets through to me ♪

139
00:05:34,913 --> 00:05:36,346
Kayla's mom is such a bitch.

140
00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:38,549
Ugh, she's a
super-bitch, right?

141
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:40,183
I mean, who is she to judge me?

142
00:05:40,218 --> 00:05:42,509
- Ruth bader ginsburg?
- Yeah.

143
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,521
I do not know who that is.

144
00:05:44,555 --> 00:05:45,588
Well, you know what?

145
00:05:45,623 --> 00:05:47,156
Kayla's mom is gonna know who I am

146
00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:49,307
once she hears my new
<i>itsy-bitsy spider.</i>

147
00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:53,062
- Word.
- Hoffs! Hoffs!

148
00:05:53,096 --> 00:05:55,355
- Another round, Stefano.
- That's not my name.

149
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:56,933
Yes, we know
it's not your name.

150
00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:58,334
But we are calling you "Stefano"

151
00:05:58,368 --> 00:06:00,151
because it is fun, and it is sexier.

152
00:06:00,317 --> 00:06:04,030
Oh, you may not know this,
but you were my tennis coach,

153
00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:06,074
and you were raised on a boat.

154
00:06:06,108 --> 00:06:08,952
And your wife disappeared
under mysterious circumstances.

155
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,480
I killed her.

156
00:06:11,514 --> 00:06:12,948
- Oh, my God, I gotta go!
- What?

157
00:06:12,982 --> 00:06:14,666
- Gotta go.
- No!

158
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,150
It's manic man-day nee the dangles,

159
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:18,211
and this is our one night
to stay out and be crazy-pants.

160
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,354
Honey, I gotta go be a mom now.

161
00:06:20,388 --> 00:06:22,824
I know it's just a manic Monday,

162
00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:25,192
but I can't be up
burning the eternal flame.

163
00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:27,303
Don't try to talk to me
in bangles titles.

164
00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:29,229
My life's just evolving, okay?

165
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,557
We just gotta evolve with it.

166
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,499
This has been an amazing night.

167
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,686
I'll see you tomorrow.

168
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:38,189
Ciao, stefano.

169
00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:43,543
♪ I feel good in your room
let's lock the world out ♪

170
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,909
Reagan, have you heard
of the Zac Posen?

171
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:52,454
Well, he is
my favorite designer,

172
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,372
and, yes, I have heard of him.
Why?

173
00:06:54,538 --> 00:06:56,888
Well, I am giving a speech

174
00:06:56,923 --> 00:07:00,795
at monsieur Zac Posen's
charity gala at the soho house,

175
00:07:00,961 --> 00:07:03,528
and I'm gonna need some help
writing my speech,

176
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:06,564
and the speech writer gets
to come with me.

177
00:07:06,598 --> 00:07:07,965
I am so excited.

178
00:07:07,999 --> 00:07:09,471
All right, I'm actually gonna
start right now.

179
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,265
Ooh, I was thinking we'd
let missy take a crack at it.

180
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:13,403
Say what?

181
00:07:13,438 --> 00:07:15,935
- I-I always write your speeches.
- Yes.

182
00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:20,982
Reagan writes them because
she's talented and knows words.

183
00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:24,444
She does know words.
But we're evolving.

184
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,983
You see, Reagan, I was thinking
about what you said last night

185
00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:30,575
while I was walking like
an Egyptian...By myself.

186
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,827
- Mm.
- And we do need to evolve.

187
00:07:32,993 --> 00:07:35,792
Before, we were just
little fish creatures

188
00:07:35,826 --> 00:07:37,373
dragging our knuckles
on the ground...

189
00:07:37,539 --> 00:07:38,666
That doesn't sound correct.

190
00:07:38,832 --> 00:07:40,462
And now we stand tall

191
00:07:40,497 --> 00:07:44,339
and use tools
to make fire and wheels.

192
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,736
Okay.
Evolution.

193
00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:49,972
Having my words thrown in my face.

194
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:53,181
All right, well,
good luck with your speech.

195
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,242
I'm not being petulant.

196
00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:58,269
- You don't know me.
- Yes, I do.

197
00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:00,581
Hey, listen, Ava's called,
like, a hundred times.

198
00:08:00,616 --> 00:08:01,856
Does she not have your cell phone?

199
00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:04,192
No, I'm not talking to her.
God, she is so unfair.

200
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,318
I-I'm a mom now.

201
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,354
I need to be taking care of the baby

202
00:08:07,389 --> 00:08:08,956
that is not 30-plus years old.

203
00:08:08,991 --> 00:08:10,240
You have more important
things to do.

204
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,125
And the first thing I gotta do

205
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,369
is make it rain
at tomorrow's baby class.

206
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,195
I don't think you know
what that means.

207
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,932
Check this out.
<i>Nursery rhymes, master volume,</i>

208
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,068
including related stories,
choreography,

209
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,129
and very helpful finger puppets.

210
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,297
Finger puppets
a-are good. That's...

211
00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:28,073
Ooh, speaking of which,

212
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:32,444
in <i>wheels on the bus,</i> instead of
going "swish, swish, swish,"

213
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:36,015
I think the wipers should go,
"stroff, stroff, stroff."

214
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:37,315
You know what?

215
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,117
Mr. Bob doesn't really like it
a whole lot

216
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,353
when parents go off-book, so...

217
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:43,148
Yeah, but he doesn't know
what I can do.

218
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,089
I do.
And I...We...

219
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:46,991
Mr. Bob and I, we...

220
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,260
We kinda got a... we got a system,

221
00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:51,663
and then we just don't need
a bunch of rabble-rousers

222
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,732
coming in and upsetting the old
apple...Not you.

223
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,034
Apple cart.

224
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:57,835
Are you afraid that
I'm gonna embarrass you

225
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:58,835
in front of your sensei?

226
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,070
What?

227
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,916
He's not my... I don't have a sensei.

228
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,293
No, no, no.
No.

229
00:09:18,254 --> 00:09:20,268
Sorry. Still figuring out
these windows.

230
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,436
You driving someone
to the airport?

231
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:26,149
Oh, Christopher.
You are wild.

232
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:30,999
No, my driver's actually ill.
A.K.A. "Hangover."

233
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:31,946
He has a problem.

234
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:33,114
Probably shouldn't be a driver.

235
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,284
You are married, young man.

236
00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:39,787
How is Reagan?

237
00:09:39,953 --> 00:09:41,977
I gave her some news earlier today

238
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:43,111
that really rocked her world.

239
00:09:43,145 --> 00:09:45,376
I-I just wanna make sure she's okay.

240
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:46,514
Uh, yeah, she's okay.

241
00:09:46,548 --> 00:09:48,082
I mean, she's kind of obsessing

242
00:09:48,116 --> 00:09:49,964
about this gym class thing
and Kayla's mom.

243
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,085
Pfft.
Really?

244
00:09:51,119 --> 00:09:52,886
Kayla's mom, not--not me?

245
00:09:52,921 --> 00:09:54,135
Kayla's mom?

246
00:09:54,301 --> 00:09:55,789
No, she just really wants
to make a statement.

247
00:09:55,824 --> 00:09:58,056
You know how Reagan is when...
When she gets her dander up.

248
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,994
You know who else
has her dander up?

249
00:10:00,028 --> 00:10:01,267
- My dander.
- What?

250
00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:03,863
If Reagan is gonna
play hardball, so will I.

251
00:10:03,897 --> 00:10:04,938
All the best, Amy.

252
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,499
I love what you've done
with your hair.

253
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:09,401
I am outta here.

254
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:11,194
Yeah, I-I think
you're in neutral.

255
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,505
Ooh!

256
00:10:12,539 --> 00:10:13,940
It's already on.
Just hit the gas and...

257
00:10:13,974 --> 00:10:15,474
- What? Oh.
- That was the trunk.

258
00:10:15,509 --> 00:10:16,449
Why can't I just...

259
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,368
Why are you pressing
so many buttons?

260
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,478
- I-I'm confused. Just go.
- Okay. You're gonna have to...

261
00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:23,615
- Just go. You go.
- Okay. You'll be fine.

262
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,517
- Oh, God.
- She's not gonna be fine.

263
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,793
Is it this?

264
00:10:29,856 --> 00:10:31,130
- Ava.
- Reagan.

265
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:32,090
How's the speech going?

266
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,492
Mind-blowing.
How are you evolving?

267
00:10:35,527 --> 00:10:37,845
- My gills are lungs now.
- Mm, that was quick.

268
00:10:38,011 --> 00:10:39,389
- I'm that good.
- Good for you.

269
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,032
Well, I guess if you
have everything under control,

270
00:10:41,066 --> 00:10:42,517
I'm just gonna get
to Amy's baby class.

271
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,735
Oh, they're under control.

272
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:49,315
It's out of control
how under control they are.

273
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:53,276
Amy.
Amy's dad.

274
00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:57,547
Kayla.
Kayla's mom.

275
00:10:57,581 --> 00:11:00,076
All right.
Let's bust it, huh?

276
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:04,754
♪ the itsy-bitsy spider
went up the spout again ♪

277
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:08,123
♪ and then
the itsy-bitsy spider ♪

278
00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:10,358
♪ gave it another try ♪

279
00:11:10,393 --> 00:11:15,258
♪ he built a new home
where he could be warm and dry ♪

280
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,834
I added a verse.

281
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:22,223
I just thought that the spider
should learn from his mistakes.

282
00:11:27,176 --> 00:11:31,913
Nicely done, Amy's mom.
Kudos!

283
00:11:31,947 --> 00:11:34,582
- Kudos!
- Wow.

284
00:11:34,616 --> 00:11:36,951
What a smart mommy you have!

285
00:11:36,985 --> 00:11:39,115
Missy, how's my speech coming?

286
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,743
I thought you said I didn't
really have to write it.

287
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,356
I was just a pawn

288
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:45,455
in your emotional chess match
with Reagan.

289
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,694
Well, knight 7
to rook 14, missy,

290
00:11:47,729 --> 00:11:49,042
because this is checkmate.

291
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,377
- That's not real chess.
- You're writing my speech.

292
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:53,212
I'm not that familiar
with fashion.

293
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:54,767
Well, don't worry,
I'll walk you through it.

294
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,169
Just grab a marker and take notes.

295
00:11:57,204 --> 00:11:59,138
I want to open with
an interesting point

296
00:11:59,172 --> 00:12:02,274
about Mr. Zac Posen,
followed by light laughter.

297
00:12:02,308 --> 00:12:05,308
Then a deeply personal story,
missy's choice.

298
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,446
Here's a list of words to avoid:

299
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,815
Moist, ointment, nubbin,
vigorous, vigorish,

300
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,751
and "at the end of the day."

301
00:12:12,785 --> 00:12:14,652
So basically the speech should go:

302
00:12:14,686 --> 00:12:18,123
Laughter, tears, poignancy,
tears, laughter,

303
00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:23,628
light laughter, slight tears,
laughter into tears, and out.

304
00:12:23,662 --> 00:12:26,037
How's that sound?

305
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,580
My God, missy.

306
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,957
I knew that didn't look right.

307
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:33,586
♪ trot, trot to Boston
trot, trot to Lynn ♪

308
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:36,255
♪ you're gonna grow up
to be a star ♪

309
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,842
O.M.G. Fantastic news.

310
00:12:40,008 --> 00:12:42,136
My ninth niece was just born!

311
00:12:42,302 --> 00:12:43,471
Would you mind
if I just took a quick break?

312
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:44,613
I've gotta call my brother.

313
00:12:44,648 --> 00:12:46,599
Um, Amy's dad, would you mind

314
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,059
taking over the class?

315
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:49,685
- Really?
- You can do it.

316
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:51,187
My God, that would be an honor.

317
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:54,524
That would...Yes.
Thank you so...

318
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,818
Hello, grown-ups, sprouts.

319
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,527
I am Mr. Chris,

320
00:12:58,561 --> 00:13:02,448
and I think right now is time...

321
00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:04,032
For the parachute.

322
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,902
♪ here we go
way down low ♪

323
00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:09,038
♪ here we go way up high ♪

324
00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,748
You are really
bringing it today.

325
00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:12,458
Yeah, Kayla's mom.

326
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:13,608
That's right.

327
00:13:13,642 --> 00:13:15,475
And real gentle wrist, guys.
Yeah.

328
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:16,879
Just really waft it.

329
00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:18,423
Overcompensating a little?

330
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,816
Uh, if by overcompensating
you mean being the best parent

331
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:23,553
since Clair huxtable, then, yeah.

332
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,596
- That's a fictional character.
- You're a fictional character.

333
00:13:25,762 --> 00:13:27,890
- And here's the magic rainbow!
- Oh!

334
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,517
Kayla, come back here.

335
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:33,259
She is so precocious
with her crawling.

336
00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,439
Is Amy crawling yet?

337
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,196
Uh, no, she's not.

338
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:38,359
But she's got a hell of a scootch.

339
00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:41,367
Kayla's probably more advanced
because I'm home

340
00:13:41,401 --> 00:13:44,198
and I have more time
to work with her, so.

341
00:13:44,364 --> 00:13:47,405
Well, Amy will get there.
She will.

342
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,474
I mean, 'cause I was
an athlete in college.

343
00:13:49,508 --> 00:13:51,977
I was a dancer and a gymnast.

344
00:13:52,011 --> 00:13:54,417
Where did you do your workouts,
upstairs at the frat house?

345
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,544
- Behold!
- Excuse me?

346
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,212
I'll excuse you right into
that pile of foam shapes.

347
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:00,285
- Oh, really?
- Reagan, Kayla's mom, please.

348
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,187
- I think I hear him coming.
- You wanna mess with me?

349
00:14:02,222 --> 00:14:03,759
Do you really wanna
mess with me? Come on.

350
00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,689
- I'm ready to go.
- That's it, Amy's mom.

351
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:08,792
- Come on!
- Amy's mom, you're outta here.

352
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:12,143
This is your lucky day.

353
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,631
Feel like I let you down.

354
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:19,502
Just...

355
00:14:19,536 --> 00:14:21,137
Look, I'm not angry,
I'm just disappointed.

356
00:14:24,112 --> 00:14:26,032
God, that speech
was incredible.

357
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,298
We had the crowd laughing,
then crying.

358
00:14:29,332 --> 00:14:30,999
I was just like Jack Nicholson
in that movie

359
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:32,668
"you can't handle the truth."

360
00:14:32,702 --> 00:14:34,903
Yeah, you took them on a ride.

361
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:36,939
We make a great team, missy.

362
00:14:36,973 --> 00:14:38,085
To my new speechwriter...

363
00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:41,877
And I'm just gonna say it...
New gal-pal.

364
00:14:41,911 --> 00:14:43,245
Gal-pal?

365
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,302
What does "hegemony" mean?

366
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:47,848
- Pardon?
- "Hegonony."

367
00:14:47,883 --> 00:14:50,640
It was in the speech.
"Cultural hegemony."

368
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:55,123
It's a fashion term.
It means sweaters and whatnot.

369
00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:56,657
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.

370
00:14:56,692 --> 00:14:59,627
I suppose you'd swear to that?

371
00:14:59,661 --> 00:15:01,328
On your life?

372
00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:04,864
And on the life
of your beloved cat buttons?

373
00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:08,302
- Buttons?
- You didn't write that speech.

374
00:15:08,336 --> 00:15:10,670
Reagan wrote it.
But I typed it.

375
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:13,788
Okay, I didn't type it.
I'm a bad typist.

376
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,810
Reagan wrote my speech?

377
00:15:16,844 --> 00:15:18,709
After I was such a lady-bastard?

378
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:20,461
She wanted you to do well.

379
00:15:20,627 --> 00:15:22,582
I never meant to be mean
to my best friend.

380
00:15:22,616 --> 00:15:24,550
I just feel her moving on without me

381
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:26,008
and I don't know what to do.

382
00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:28,687
But she went to manic man-day
with you.

383
00:15:28,722 --> 00:15:31,390
And she's balancing you, and Amy,

384
00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:33,925
and Chris, and Kayla's mom.

385
00:15:33,959 --> 00:15:39,030
But she still found time
to write your speech.

386
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,765
She's not moving on.

387
00:15:40,799 --> 00:15:44,936
She's just finding a new way
to be there for you.

388
00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:47,572
Missy, you're right.

389
00:15:47,607 --> 00:15:51,475
Thank you for your beautiful insight.

390
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:53,944
- Get out.
- What?

391
00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:56,046
Reagan should be sitting
where you are right now.

392
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,982
I adore you, but the sight of you

393
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:00,050
reminds me of my own guilt.

394
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,652
Can you stop the car, please?

395
00:16:01,686 --> 00:16:03,254
It's chilly.

396
00:16:03,288 --> 00:16:04,588
Well, I'm not gonna leave you
on the side of the road

397
00:16:04,623 --> 00:16:05,655
like an animal.

398
00:16:05,689 --> 00:16:07,423
Just get in the front seat.

399
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,636
The front seat
smells like pickles.

400
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,394
I had fun tonight.

401
00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:34,516
Behold!

402
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:36,351
You can do it.
You can do it.

403
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:37,955
Okay, come on.
Come on.

404
00:16:38,121 --> 00:16:40,154
Right and left.

405
00:16:40,188 --> 00:16:41,622
Left and then right.

406
00:16:41,657 --> 00:16:43,377
- Right and then left.
- Hey, Reagan?

407
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:44,892
Huh? Oh, hey.

408
00:16:44,926 --> 00:16:47,595
Are you teaching
the baby to crawl?

409
00:16:47,629 --> 00:16:48,663
Yeah.
Yeah, I just...

410
00:16:48,697 --> 00:16:50,063
But she wanted it.

411
00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:51,299
I mean, I was...

412
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:52,511
I was, like,
"I'll sing you a lullaby."

413
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:54,601
And she said,
"no, mom, you take a knee,

414
00:16:54,635 --> 00:16:57,637
"'cause I need pointers
on this crawling and, you know,

415
00:16:57,672 --> 00:16:59,138
"it just so happens that I'm...

416
00:16:59,173 --> 00:17:00,519
I'm above-average, crawl-wise, so."

417
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:03,410
Reagan, honey.

418
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:06,780
Honey, what if
Kayla's mom is right?

419
00:17:06,814 --> 00:17:08,682
I mean, what if my
being a working mom

420
00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:10,071
is stunting her development?

421
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,184
- Hon, you're being silly.
- No.

422
00:17:12,218 --> 00:17:13,741
She's not crawling now.

423
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:14,950
So what...In ten years,
she's not gonna graduate

424
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:16,535
from high school.

425
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:17,620
Because she'll be ten.

426
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,791
And then in 30 years,

427
00:17:18,825 --> 00:17:20,326
she won't be buying a home.

428
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,894
And...And in 60 years, she won't be...

429
00:17:22,929 --> 00:17:24,085
She won't be wise.

430
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:27,098
Babe,
Amy is doing awesome, okay?

431
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,600
You're there for her 100%.

432
00:17:29,635 --> 00:17:31,769
Plus, I'm home all the time.

433
00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:33,271
And, by the way,
not to be a tiger mom,

434
00:17:33,306 --> 00:17:35,974
but Amy was the first kid
in her class

435
00:17:36,008 --> 00:17:37,556
to reach out and SWAT a bubble.

436
00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,350
- She was?
- Yeah.

437
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:42,713
- She's a baby genius.
- She is.

438
00:17:42,747 --> 00:17:45,981
Honey, I'm so sorry
I got us kicked out of class.

439
00:17:46,147 --> 00:17:48,853
- It's okay, hon.
- No, it's not okay.

440
00:17:48,887 --> 00:17:50,420
I mean, you love that class.

441
00:17:50,455 --> 00:17:53,114
You are so good with the kids
and those parents, and...

442
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,157
You're a natural.

443
00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:57,194
I gotta say, when I'm deep
in that ball pit with Amy,

444
00:17:57,229 --> 00:18:00,538
I really realize
why I was put on this earth.

445
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,416
I'll go talk to Mr. Bob
and humble myself.

446
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,634
He forgives.

447
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,636
He really turned the other cheek
with Hudson's dad

448
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:09,705
when he took a call
during quiet time.

449
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,274
All right.
I'm gonna leave you guys.

450
00:18:11,308 --> 00:18:14,509
Amy could use a little mommy time.

451
00:18:14,543 --> 00:18:15,510
Hi.

452
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,054
Hey, girl.

453
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:19,098
Hey, there.
How was Zac Posen?

454
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,850
- Not the same without you.
- Oh.

455
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,585
I got you a little something.
A Posen gift bag.

456
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,819
You did!

457
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,857
Ooh, a blouse.
Ooh, a sweater.

458
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,859
There's...A shrimp in here.

459
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:33,861
Oh, I meant to eat that
on the way home.

460
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,322
Reagan, I know you wrote the speech.

461
00:18:35,488 --> 00:18:37,031
Missy told you.

462
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:39,967
I'm sorry I've been
so selfish lately.

463
00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:41,162
I know you have a lot on your plate.

464
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,637
Honey, you are still
on my plate.

465
00:18:43,671 --> 00:18:46,274
You're just the little part
where the dessert goes.

466
00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:48,442
I'll take any little nugget
of you I can get,

467
00:18:48,476 --> 00:18:49,877
'cause, girl, I love your buns.

468
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,814
I love your buns, too.

469
00:18:53,848 --> 00:18:57,584
Hey, cuties!
I thought you had baby class.

470
00:18:57,619 --> 00:19:00,389
Well, I thought it'd be great

471
00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:02,391
for Amy's development
to bring her here.

472
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:04,990
Reagan Brinkley: Strong working mom.

473
00:19:05,025 --> 00:19:08,189
Showing her daughter she can be
anything she wants to be.

474
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,566
- That too masculine?
- No, that was great.

475
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:13,652
Come here, you.
Come here, you.

476
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:16,280
And this is where mama stands
during the show.

477
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,704
And that is pictures of you,
so no matter how busy I am,

478
00:19:19,739 --> 00:19:21,907
I'm always looking at your
beaufuful face.

479
00:19:21,941 --> 00:19:23,454
Yeah, the truth.

480
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:27,045
Chris, honey, thank you.

481
00:19:27,079 --> 00:19:28,413
You know what?

482
00:19:28,448 --> 00:19:31,850
If you leave now,
you'll still make class.

483
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:33,384
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

484
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:36,420
Thanks, babe.
They're doing drum circle today.

485
00:19:36,455 --> 00:19:39,053
- Thanks.
- Chris?

486
00:19:43,528 --> 00:19:45,596
I was doing a bit.
Of course Amy can come too.

487
00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:47,853
- Come on, honey.
- Love you. Bye, guys.

488
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,814
Bye-bye, mama.
Doin' great.

489
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,236
- Damn it!
- Hey.

490
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,372
Hi.

491
00:19:56,406 --> 00:19:58,808
Do you need a hand with that?

492
00:19:58,843 --> 00:20:00,366
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yeah, I thought so.

493
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:04,481
I have the same one
and it...It gets stuck

494
00:20:04,515 --> 00:20:07,683
and so you gotta
jostle this little thing here

495
00:20:07,717 --> 00:20:10,385
and then...Then you can just pop it.

496
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:11,620
You...All right.

497
00:20:11,654 --> 00:20:13,088
You're supposed to jostle it
a little bit.

498
00:20:13,122 --> 00:20:16,758
And then you just pop...
You just pop it.

499
00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:18,560
I don't know why... you pop it.

500
00:20:18,595 --> 00:20:19,969
No, I don't understand
why it's not popping.

501
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,964
I'll try to help.

502
00:20:21,998 --> 00:20:23,472
- Pop the thing!
- Come on!

503
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,534
- Come on!
- On the side, yeah.

504
00:20:26,568 --> 00:20:28,018
Come on!

505
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:29,854
Just pop the tab.

506
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:30,855
Just pop the tab.

507
00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:40,364
Oh, my God.
That felt so good.

508
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,158
It did.

509
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,820
What are you doing later,
Amy's mom?

510
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:47,988
Wanna get a marg?

511
00:20:48,022 --> 00:20:51,958
That would be lovely,
Kayla's mom.

512
00:20:57,255 --> 00:21:00,050
Sync.