1 00:00:02,941 --> 00:00:04,007 Thank you all for coming to the unveiling 2 00:00:04,076 --> 00:00:06,043 of my latest culinary creation. Max? 3 00:00:08,245 --> 00:00:10,947 Have you ever felt like the Big Mac wasn't big enough 4 00:00:11,014 --> 00:00:13,249 or the footlong wasn't feet long enough? 5 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:14,984 Well, have no fear, ladies and gentlemen, 6 00:00:15,052 --> 00:00:19,789 and feast your eyes upon Steaktanic! 7 00:00:22,659 --> 00:00:24,626 2 pounds of meat. Steaktanic. 8 00:00:24,694 --> 00:00:27,629 1 liter of garlic ololi. Steaktanic. 9 00:00:27,697 --> 00:00:30,466 A half a block of smoked gouda, three layers of lettuce, 10 00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:32,734 iceberg... dead ahead. 11 00:00:32,802 --> 00:00:35,837 Wow, that is disgusting and illegal, I think. 12 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:36,838 Steaktanic. 13 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,273 Guys, I gotta do something. 14 00:00:38,341 --> 00:00:39,974 This hot dog truck that keeps parking next to me-- 15 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,343 they're killing me. Oh, dogs in heat-- that place is legit. 16 00:00:42,411 --> 00:00:43,777 Oh, I love that commercial. 17 00:00:43,845 --> 00:00:45,713 ♪ It's a treat that's mostly meat ♪ 18 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:48,716 ♪ dogs in heat can't be beat ♪ 19 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,552 Their meat can be beat. I will beat their meat. 20 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:54,455 Whoa. This whole town will see me beating-- 21 00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,389 ohh. I see. 22 00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:59,626 Dave, you know what you need? A commercial. 23 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,162 Arm twisted. I'll direct it. What? 24 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,263 Yeah, you remember my award-winning short film 25 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:04,564 I did in college-- "dogleg right." 26 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,366 The gripping tale of a semi-professional golfer 27 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,502 who had his leg amputated only to have it replaced 28 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,837 by that of his beloved German Shepherd? 29 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,305 "The heart of a champion, the leg of a champion dog." 30 00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,141 I need you to get those DVDs out of my garage. 31 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,176 Max, no offense, but if I was gonna make a commercial, 32 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,178 I'd hire a professional director. 33 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,547 So, guys, things are going great with my new sweetums Keith. 34 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,749 Four dates in, all systems go. 35 00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:26,685 So we're not doing segues now? No, I gave those up, along with gluten. 36 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,819 Oh. Weird part is, now that I have a guy, 37 00:01:28,887 --> 00:01:30,821 everybody wants to set me up. Oh. 38 00:01:30,889 --> 00:01:32,423 Oh, I know. Al! 39 00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:34,259 What? I should hook you up with some of my "extras." 40 00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:36,694 You know my co-worker Teresa with the baby teeth? 41 00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:38,263 Yeah. With the big gums? 44 00:01:43,135 --> 00:01:45,001 Like when I go to the movies, I get to solve 45 00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:47,171 all the pre-movie trivia at my own pace. 46 00:01:47,238 --> 00:01:48,639 Did you guys know that Jack Palance 47 00:01:48,706 --> 00:01:50,140 did all his own stunts for "city slickers" 48 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,142 but didn't do them for the sequel? 49 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:56,413 Yeah. You can give Liam my number. 50 00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:57,714 I think I'd better. 51 00:01:57,782 --> 00:02:03,306 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 52 00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:09,458 Wow, Liam, this place looks amazing. 53 00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:11,427 Well, penny mentioned you studied abroad in France, 54 00:02:11,495 --> 00:02:13,362 and I immediately thought of this place. 55 00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:18,733 Oh. I got mono the first day I was there, 56 00:02:18,801 --> 00:02:20,302 so the only French I know is from lying in bed 57 00:02:20,369 --> 00:02:22,103 watching "cheers" reruns. 58 00:02:24,674 --> 00:02:26,040 "Norm!" 59 00:02:27,243 --> 00:02:28,910 So tell me, who is Alex? 60 00:02:28,977 --> 00:02:30,312 She's loving this bread, I'll tell you that. 61 00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:35,182 You know, for a fancy place, it's sort of dead. 62 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,250 Haven't they heard of a flier? 63 00:02:36,318 --> 00:02:37,851 I have a little confession to make. 64 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,020 I rented out the entire restaurant. 65 00:02:40,088 --> 00:02:42,155 I have planned an amazing evening. 66 00:02:42,224 --> 00:02:45,058 Whatever you desire is yours. 67 00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:47,027 In that case... 68 00:02:47,095 --> 00:02:49,862 I'll have a little more of this bread. 69 00:02:51,198 --> 00:02:52,365 Yah! 70 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,499 Land. 71 00:02:55,936 --> 00:02:57,770 Honey, do you really need to practice your parkour exercises 72 00:02:57,838 --> 00:02:58,671 in the house? 73 00:03:00,241 --> 00:03:02,908 Babe. Okay, that's twice now. 74 00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:05,377 And you're sweating on my bruschetta. 75 00:03:05,445 --> 00:03:08,614 Okay, as undistracting as all this is, 76 00:03:08,681 --> 00:03:10,181 you're not gonna be able to practice your little 77 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,484 extreme walking in the house for a few days, because remember, 78 00:03:12,552 --> 00:03:14,152 my sorority sister Sara is coming to town 79 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,520 for her yearly visit. 80 00:03:15,588 --> 00:03:17,989 Oh, yeah! Sara's coming again. 81 00:03:18,057 --> 00:03:19,591 That's awesome! 82 00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:22,761 I know. We are going to have so much fun entertaining her. 83 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,395 First, we're gonna hit up that new farmer's market, 84 00:03:24,463 --> 00:03:26,430 and then we're gonna take a visit to the Russian tea room. 85 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,532 Am I done? Nope. Not nyet, 86 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,834 'cause when we wanna crank it up, 87 00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:31,136 we're gonna go to that place where you can get 88 00:03:31,203 --> 00:03:33,471 custom perfumes made. It's gonna be nuts. 89 00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:35,973 What? What are you doing? 90 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,741 Raising the roof on signature scents right now. 91 00:03:37,809 --> 00:03:40,210 That is what's... Happening. 92 00:03:40,278 --> 00:03:42,045 Stop. All righty. 93 00:03:42,113 --> 00:03:43,747 Babe, I'm not gonna be here. 94 00:03:43,815 --> 00:03:45,849 I have a work retreat in Michigan this weekend. What? 95 00:03:45,917 --> 00:03:49,153 Yeah. It's not gonna be the same without you. 96 00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:51,621 I know. My retreat's not gonna be the same either. Re. 97 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,056 Yeah, 'cause I'm stealth as hell. 98 00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:55,958 Damn right you are. Tiger roll! 99 00:03:57,294 --> 00:03:58,928 Oh! 100 00:03:58,996 --> 00:04:00,763 We okay? 101 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,531 I can't believe you're gonna make an actual commercial, 102 00:04:02,599 --> 00:04:04,000 and you're not gonna let me direct it. 103 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,301 Max, I just decided it would be better to go with people 104 00:04:05,368 --> 00:04:07,036 who are professionals, not somebody who wears 105 00:04:07,104 --> 00:04:08,837 a turtleneck he found on the ground. 106 00:04:08,905 --> 00:04:11,372 Aha! This is a mock turtleneck, and I found it in the garbage. 107 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,874 Oh. 108 00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:15,310 Getting a phone call from my real buddy--Brad. 109 00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:17,378 I bet he'd let me direct a commercial for him-- 110 00:04:17,446 --> 00:04:19,214 a commercial about friendship. 111 00:04:19,282 --> 00:04:21,149 Hello, amigo. 112 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:22,250 Max... 113 00:04:22,318 --> 00:04:23,751 Need a favor, buddy. 114 00:04:23,819 --> 00:04:24,985 I forgot my sleep apnea device at home. 115 00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:26,586 I need you to bring it to my hotel. 116 00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:28,289 In Michigan? I don't know where that is. 117 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:29,556 You absolutely know where Michigan is. 118 00:04:29,624 --> 00:04:30,958 You were an extra in the movie "8 mile," 119 00:04:31,026 --> 00:04:33,928 and, uh... I'm not in Michigan. I'm in Chicago. 120 00:04:33,995 --> 00:04:35,629 What are you doing in Chicago? 121 00:04:35,697 --> 00:04:37,397 You see, every year, Jane's annoying sorority sister 122 00:04:37,465 --> 00:04:39,966 comes into town, so last year I faked a work retreat 123 00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,567 because I could not take it anymore. 124 00:04:41,635 --> 00:04:43,203 We're easy, we're easy, 125 00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,438 we're easy on the eyes. 126 00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:49,775 We're spread, we're spread, we're spreadin' our wings! 127 00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:53,646 We're soar, we're soar, we're soaring through the skies! 128 00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:55,481 Whoo-hoo! 129 00:04:55,549 --> 00:04:56,882 It's just a little stay-cation. 130 00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:58,650 I get to relax, make awesome stay-cation friends. 131 00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:01,820 Like who did I meet today? 132 00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,621 It's America's sweetheart, Brent Musburger. 133 00:05:03,689 --> 00:05:05,390 You are looking live at Brent Musburger. 134 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,359 And his new best friend, Brad Williams. 135 00:05:07,426 --> 00:05:08,793 Back to you, Max. 136 00:05:08,862 --> 00:05:10,229 What are you doing here? 137 00:05:10,296 --> 00:05:11,463 I stay here every time I cover 138 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:12,964 the Northwestern wildcats, sports fan. 139 00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:15,199 By the way, if you're hungry, they make a mean Musburg.. 140 00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:20,804 Why are we laughing? 141 00:05:20,873 --> 00:05:24,308 I'm on a stay-cation, so who cares? 142 00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:27,178 So... penny, are things still going well with Keith? 143 00:05:27,246 --> 00:05:29,612 Yeah, like, our date last night was great. 144 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,948 It was super low-key we ate grilled cheese sandwiches. 145 00:05:32,016 --> 00:05:33,917 We watched "con air." We talked about whatever-- 146 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,753 life, love, daylight savings time. 147 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:38,355 Arizona doesn't even do it. 148 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,890 Hmm? Speaking of dates, 149 00:05:39,957 --> 00:05:41,424 how was yours with Liam? 150 00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:43,093 I know. First dates can be rough. 151 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,028 It was kinda crazy. He rented out the whole restaurant. 152 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,662 Wow! Yeah. 153 00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:49,131 That's a lot for a first date. 154 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,533 And he had a private dancer teach us the dance moves 155 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,567 to the video "private dancer." 156 00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:54,003 That's my jam. 157 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,104 Then we had a midnight helicopter tour of Chicago. 158 00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,907 Well, my date was also awesome. 159 00:05:57,974 --> 00:06:01,842 It was so... Like, we watched "con air" 160 00:06:01,911 --> 00:06:03,511 with the director's commentary. 161 00:06:03,578 --> 00:06:06,680 So here I am, laughing and learning. Guess what? 162 00:06:06,748 --> 00:06:09,750 Sara just canceled last minute. 163 00:06:09,818 --> 00:06:11,519 I'm having an entire pamper spa package 164 00:06:11,586 --> 00:06:13,221 delivered in an hour. 165 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,256 But I guess somehow staging an intervention for her dad 166 00:06:15,324 --> 00:06:16,689 trumps all of that. 167 00:06:16,757 --> 00:06:18,058 So a helicopter tour? Yeah. 168 00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:19,793 Was that a groupon thing, or did he pay upfront? 169 00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:20,994 What's the story there? 170 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:22,495 What am I gonna do now? 171 00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:25,265 Hey... 172 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,500 You guys wanna hang? We can pamper ourselves, ladies. 173 00:06:27,568 --> 00:06:29,236 Honey-roasted cashews, 174 00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:32,271 lavender-scented towels coming in red-hot for you. 175 00:06:32,339 --> 00:06:34,473 I can't. I have another date with Liam. 176 00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:35,607 He's picking me up in a horse-drawn carriage 177 00:06:35,675 --> 00:06:37,209 for a ride along lake Michigan. 178 00:06:37,277 --> 00:06:38,811 Slow down, Liam. 179 00:06:38,878 --> 00:06:41,613 Yeah, well, Keith is picking me up in the Batmobile. 180 00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:43,114 What? 181 00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:44,550 He's a bat exterminator, and that's what his company 182 00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:48,019 calls the van... But still very grand. 183 00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:51,122 Thank you for coming to watch my very first tv commercial! 184 00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,058 Yeah! Whoo! 185 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,460 Now this is what the industry calls a "rough cut," 186 00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:57,328 so it's not there yet, okay? 187 00:06:57,395 --> 00:06:59,630 It's gotta go through various phases like the sound mix, 188 00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:01,432 which is different from sound design. 189 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,067 Most people don't know that. Stop. 190 00:07:03,134 --> 00:07:05,202 Play. 191 00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:08,272 Hi. I'm Dave rose, 192 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:12,542 and this is my truck, steak me home tonight. 193 00:07:18,082 --> 00:07:19,549 Here at steak me home, 194 00:07:19,617 --> 00:07:22,318 tonight, we'll only use the finest ingredients. 195 00:07:25,723 --> 00:07:28,423 And if you happen to be browsing the Internet, 196 00:07:28,492 --> 00:07:31,560 visit my world wide web address... 197 00:07:33,262 --> 00:07:35,063 ♪ and if you like sandwiches ♪ 198 00:07:35,131 --> 00:07:37,165 ♪ and you love taste ♪ 199 00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:39,301 ♪ then steak... me... home ♪ 200 00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:41,236 ♪ tonight ♪ 201 00:07:41,304 --> 00:07:42,837 U-uh... 202 00:07:42,905 --> 00:07:44,739 U-uh... U-uh... 203 00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:49,644 Well, that--that was... Horrible. 204 00:07:49,712 --> 00:07:50,645 No! U-uh... 205 00:07:50,713 --> 00:07:52,213 Yeah. Yeah. 206 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,982 I know. Yay. You were-- you were--you were in it. 207 00:07:54,049 --> 00:07:55,249 Guys, what am I gonna do? 208 00:07:55,317 --> 00:07:56,417 I already paid for air time this Sunday. 209 00:07:56,485 --> 00:07:57,552 You can't show that to anyone. Mnh-Mnh. 210 00:07:57,620 --> 00:08:00,220 Dave, walk with me. 211 00:08:00,287 --> 00:08:01,922 Look, you wanna know why that commercial sucked? 212 00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,724 'Cause you were working with a director 213 00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:05,091 that doesn't know you 214 00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:07,828 and know that you are terrible on camera. 215 00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,162 But I know you, and I know 216 00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:10,664 how to get a great performance out of you. 217 00:08:10,732 --> 00:08:12,833 Dude, I'm the Dave whisperer. 218 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,567 Yeah, but can you do it for no money? 219 00:08:14,635 --> 00:08:15,768 I bartered for this outfit 220 00:08:15,836 --> 00:08:17,269 using only illegal mexican candy. 221 00:08:17,337 --> 00:08:19,705 I think I got this. 222 00:08:19,773 --> 00:08:20,606 So basically, you breathe through here, 223 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:22,542 and it relaxes the muscles. 224 00:08:22,609 --> 00:08:25,144 Plus you can pretend like you're scuba diving. 225 00:08:25,211 --> 00:08:27,580 "Hold up. That's a puffer fish." 226 00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,916 No, thanks. I'm scared of the sea. 227 00:08:29,983 --> 00:08:32,183 Man, quack like a little bitch. 228 00:08:32,251 --> 00:08:33,718 Damn it. M f forgot the regulator. 229 00:08:33,786 --> 00:08:36,087 He's gotta go back to my apartment. 230 00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:38,757 Your apartment? I don't know where that is. Come on, man. 231 00:08:38,824 --> 00:08:41,026 Jane's probably out with Sara, but I can't take that chance. 232 00:08:42,662 --> 00:08:43,728 Thanks, Max. 233 00:08:46,098 --> 00:08:48,298 Dude, it's not a toy. 234 00:08:55,206 --> 00:08:56,740 What's happening here? 235 00:08:56,808 --> 00:08:59,910 Pen, I gotta say, with Sara canceling... 236 00:08:59,978 --> 00:09:03,613 I've had the place to myself, and it has been really... 237 00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,114 Really great. (Mouths word 238 00:09:05,182 --> 00:09:08,417 picked up my knitting again, and you better believe 239 00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,687 that I don't stick to the conventional stitches. 240 00:09:10,754 --> 00:09:12,689 Guess you could say I'm a... 241 00:09:12,756 --> 00:09:14,223 Knitter with attitude. 242 00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:18,394 My comedy's always been edgy, penny. You know that. 243 00:09:22,498 --> 00:09:23,999 Strawberries. 244 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,134 Just... 245 00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:27,235 Ohh! 246 00:09:27,303 --> 00:09:28,971 Hey, Jane! 247 00:09:29,038 --> 00:09:30,505 Max, what are you doing here? 248 00:09:30,573 --> 00:09:32,440 I will never tell! 249 00:09:32,508 --> 00:09:33,976 Brad lied. He's not on a work retreat. 250 00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:35,843 He's on a stay-cation. What? 251 00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,578 Tell me everything! 252 00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:38,980 Ha ha ha! I laugh at your request. 253 00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:41,015 Ha ha ha ha! Ow! He's downtown. 254 00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,919 He can't stand Sara. I love your sense of fashion. I don't believe it. 255 00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:46,487 It's true. I'm serious. The way you blend color 256 00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:48,155 into your everyday wardrobe is effortless and very tasteful. 257 00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:49,790 You need to leave. 258 00:09:49,858 --> 00:09:51,290 Fine. 259 00:09:56,831 --> 00:09:58,564 Good day. 260 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,403 Brad? I'm pissed. 261 00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:14,079 On your... behalf 262 00:10:14,148 --> 00:10:15,981 because you're missing all the fun 263 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,750 Sara and I are having. 264 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:21,387 What's that, sare-bear? You're gonna stay an extra day? 265 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,221 Fantastic! 266 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,290 Oh! I gotta go. 267 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,425 I love you. Bye. 268 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,631 Ohh. 269 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,692 Ohh. 270 00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:40,496 This stay-cation is the best, man. 271 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:42,063 If I was at home right now, I'd have to make "surprise eyes" 272 00:10:42,131 --> 00:10:44,900 every time Sara would brag about her stupid homemade teas. 273 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:47,969 "What? You're selling oolong? That's crazy!" 274 00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:50,070 Those are great... Surprise eyes. 275 00:10:50,138 --> 00:10:51,706 It's a gift. 276 00:10:51,773 --> 00:10:53,173 I'm sorry that things aren't going well at home. 277 00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:54,809 What do you mean, Brent Musburger? 278 00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:57,778 You're lying to your wife just to get space. 279 00:10:57,846 --> 00:10:59,547 Oh, it's just a little white lie, you know what I mean? 280 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,415 That's what the Miami hurricanes thought 281 00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:03,483 on that muggy Friday afternoon 282 00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:06,185 down in the orange bowl back in 1984. 283 00:11:06,253 --> 00:11:07,954 Miami led 45-41. 284 00:11:08,022 --> 00:11:09,890 Only 5 seconds left on the clock. 285 00:11:09,957 --> 00:11:11,825 The hurricanes thought they had it all wrapped up, 286 00:11:11,893 --> 00:11:13,259 but somebody else thought differently, 287 00:11:13,327 --> 00:11:15,962 and that somebody was Douglas Richard... 288 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:17,330 Flutie. Flutie. 289 00:11:17,398 --> 00:11:18,864 Flutie back. Flush to the right. 290 00:11:18,932 --> 00:11:21,400 He throws it down. 291 00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:25,070 60 yards. It's caught. Caught by Boston college! 292 00:11:25,138 --> 00:11:26,471 The eagles win it! 293 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,974 I don't believe it! I don't believe it. 294 00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:31,710 Wow. So Miami thought they didn't have anything 295 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:35,014 to worry about at home, and they blew it. 296 00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:36,781 I totally get it. By lying to my wife 297 00:11:36,849 --> 00:11:39,317 and taking her for granted, I could possibly be blindsided 298 00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:41,986 by a hail Mary pass that shoots right through my marriage. 299 00:11:42,055 --> 00:11:45,290 No, my point is, Miami got a little lazy 300 00:11:45,358 --> 00:11:47,426 with that cover 2 defense. 301 00:11:47,493 --> 00:11:49,461 I gotta go, Brent Musburger. 302 00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,430 Don't ever change. 303 00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:57,134 Hello, Keith. Hey, Pen. 304 00:11:57,202 --> 00:12:01,305 Why are you dressed so nice? Did someone die? 305 00:12:01,373 --> 00:12:02,806 No. But you're funny. 306 00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:05,809 I was thinking we should go dancing. 307 00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:07,110 Hmm? 308 00:12:07,178 --> 00:12:10,413 It's noon. Plus I got us some burgers for lunch. 309 00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,215 You know what we should do? 310 00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:14,817 We should eat those burgers in a hot air balloon 311 00:12:14,885 --> 00:12:17,253 and then just ride it all the way to Santa Barbara. 312 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:18,221 What do you think? 313 00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,056 What are you talking about? 314 00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:21,524 I'm talking about taking our dating life 315 00:12:21,592 --> 00:12:25,494 to the next level, to the jet stream in a balloon 316 00:12:25,562 --> 00:12:28,663 and then landing that balloon in a hidden vineyard 317 00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:31,032 where we get drunk on Santa Barbaran Malbec 318 00:12:31,101 --> 00:12:33,768 and we feed each other local spot prawns as we-- 319 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,704 oh. Whoa. 320 00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,272 You okay? 321 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,541 Just give me a burger. 322 00:12:40,609 --> 00:12:41,875 Oh, man. The commercial's almost on. 323 00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,244 I hope people like it. 324 00:12:43,312 --> 00:12:46,114 Relax. We didn't make this to please the masses. 325 00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,549 Max, this is a commercial. That's exactly why we made it. 326 00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:49,750 How are things going with Liam? 327 00:12:49,818 --> 00:12:51,986 Honestly, he's annoying. 328 00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:53,287 I mean, and all the grand gestures 329 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,288 are getting really exhausting. Like last night, 330 00:12:55,356 --> 00:12:58,658 all I wanted to do was stay in and watch "the princess bride." 331 00:12:58,726 --> 00:13:00,827 See? I told you I could keep it mellow. 332 00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,496 Sorta. 333 00:13:02,563 --> 00:13:04,431 The director was on my ass in this scene. 334 00:13:04,499 --> 00:13:05,765 I told him, "you want someone to phone it in, 335 00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,400 "get kirk Cameron. 336 00:13:07,468 --> 00:13:09,869 "You want someone to be a savage, you get Fred... 337 00:13:09,937 --> 00:13:11,171 Savage." 338 00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:12,505 Interesting. 339 00:13:12,572 --> 00:13:14,240 Hey, I saw some hummus back in the fridge. 340 00:13:14,307 --> 00:13:16,142 Is that for the house, or... 341 00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:18,310 Something I could jump in on? 342 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:19,879 Yeah, go ahead. 343 00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:22,849 It's all just too much. 344 00:13:22,916 --> 00:13:24,784 I want Liam. What? 345 00:13:24,852 --> 00:13:27,654 Well... technically, he was mine in the first place, 346 00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:29,288 and--and what if it's meant to be? 347 00:13:29,356 --> 00:13:30,956 You don't want to tempt fate, al. 348 00:13:31,024 --> 00:13:32,858 Like the time you entered a brisket-eating contest 349 00:13:32,925 --> 00:13:36,162 before you went into that loan interview. Ugh, not my finest moment. 350 00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:39,465 Oh! Commercial it's on. It's on. 351 00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:42,535 I remember when my dad and I would just sit on a park bench, 352 00:13:42,602 --> 00:13:44,902 have a hot dog, just talk about whatever. 353 00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:48,173 It was the best. 354 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:52,143 That's--that's where my love of Chicago street food came from. 355 00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,045 The hot dog had given me so much. 356 00:13:54,112 --> 00:13:56,681 When I was a kid, I wanted to give something back, 357 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,316 something new. 358 00:13:58,384 --> 00:14:00,418 So the next time you're craving a hot dog, 359 00:14:00,486 --> 00:14:01,786 have one of these. 360 00:14:03,254 --> 00:14:04,855 Thanks, dad. 361 00:14:04,923 --> 00:14:07,757 ♪ 362 00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:10,226 That was amazing. 363 00:14:10,294 --> 00:14:11,995 Really? Yeah. 364 00:14:12,063 --> 00:14:13,296 I didn't understand the dog barking 365 00:14:13,363 --> 00:14:15,932 or the Puerto Rican guys playing checkers, 366 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,334 but I have never seen you more comfortable on screen. 367 00:14:18,402 --> 00:14:22,137 I know, right? And I have my director to thank for that. 368 00:14:22,205 --> 00:14:23,172 He did--as they say in the industry-- 369 00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:24,940 "help me find my performance." 370 00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:26,274 You know what else is a great choice? 371 00:14:26,342 --> 00:14:27,743 How you never had Dave say the name of the truck. 372 00:14:27,811 --> 00:14:29,611 It's like one of those bars that doesn't have a sign 373 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,346 and only the cool people know about it. 374 00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:33,281 What are you talking about? We said the name of the truck. Yeah. 375 00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:34,549 Or how you never mentioned 376 00:14:34,617 --> 00:14:35,984 or showed steak sandwiches in any way. 377 00:14:36,052 --> 00:14:37,719 Of course we showed the steak sandwich. 378 00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,887 I think it's pretty clear what we were trying to sell. Yeah. 379 00:14:39,955 --> 00:14:43,557 Hot dogs? 'Cause you said that, like, 17 times. 380 00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,093 No, no, we said, "steak sandwich." 381 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,228 Yeah, we-- we said it quite a bit. 382 00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:50,131 Yeah, we... we said s-- 383 00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:55,068 Come on. Hurry it up. 384 00:14:55,136 --> 00:14:56,169 I'm trying. 385 00:14:56,237 --> 00:14:57,270 Pick it up. I'm trying. 386 00:14:57,338 --> 00:14:59,305 I didn't DVR it. 387 00:15:00,574 --> 00:15:03,844 Hey, boo! I'm home! 388 00:15:03,911 --> 00:15:05,245 Where's my sare-bear? 389 00:15:05,312 --> 00:15:07,013 I wanna hear how those Earl Greys are selling. 390 00:15:07,081 --> 00:15:10,216 Huh? It looks nice in here. It's cute. 391 00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:13,285 Using the honeysuckle candles for company, huh? 392 00:15:13,353 --> 00:15:15,287 Dipping into my private stock. That's cool. 393 00:15:15,355 --> 00:15:16,922 I'm all right with that! 394 00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,358 I love you, baby. Love you. 395 00:15:19,425 --> 00:15:21,060 Ah, got the wine cracking? That's what's up. 396 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,729 Nice little card. 397 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,930 That's... 398 00:15:25,998 --> 00:15:30,735 "Sorry I had to cancel our visit. Love, Sara." 399 00:15:30,803 --> 00:15:31,803 She canceled? 400 00:15:31,871 --> 00:15:32,937 Hey. 401 00:15:33,005 --> 00:15:33,905 Oh! 402 00:15:33,973 --> 00:15:35,974 Aah! 403 00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:39,577 Ohh, Lenka, that facial was so relaxing. 404 00:15:39,645 --> 00:15:44,314 I totally t-zoned out. 405 00:15:44,382 --> 00:15:47,017 You know, 'cause the t-zone on your face? 406 00:15:47,085 --> 00:15:49,153 No? Nothing. 407 00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:51,588 Okay. Well, let's get started on my seaweed wrap 408 00:15:51,656 --> 00:15:53,290 because my mani-pedi lady comes at 7:00, 409 00:15:53,357 --> 00:15:55,659 and I really wanna make the most of this stay-cation. 410 00:15:57,728 --> 00:15:59,929 Mmm. Mmm. 411 00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:01,264 Hey, boo! 412 00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:02,865 Brad! Brad. 413 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:06,202 You're home... a day early. 414 00:16:06,270 --> 00:16:08,671 Remember Sara? Right? 415 00:16:08,738 --> 00:16:10,572 We're soar, we're soar, 416 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,709 we're soaring through the sky! 417 00:16:13,777 --> 00:16:15,811 Hey! 418 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:20,160 Brad, what are you doing here now? 419 00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:21,393 Work retreat got cut short, 420 00:16:21,461 --> 00:16:23,129 decided to come home, see my honey bunny. 421 00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:26,265 Hey, Sara, you look different. 422 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,401 No, Sara's actually... Not here, 423 00:16:29,469 --> 00:16:31,737 because she just... left. 424 00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:35,074 Uh, there was a... huge 425 00:16:35,142 --> 00:16:36,608 tea disaster back at the warehouse. Mm. 426 00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:40,044 I mean, it flooded, and then it burst into flames, 427 00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:42,814 and now there is a river of hot darjeeling 428 00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:44,749 just coursing through Cambridge, Massachusetts. 429 00:16:44,817 --> 00:16:47,652 It's, uh, no Boston tea party, if you know what I mean. 430 00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:51,722 Nothing. Basic American civics. 431 00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:53,056 So that's what happened. Tea fire. 432 00:16:53,124 --> 00:16:54,724 Yeah. It's a shame. 433 00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:56,193 But enough about me. 434 00:16:56,261 --> 00:16:58,128 How was that work retreat? 435 00:16:58,196 --> 00:17:00,630 It was--it was great. Yeah. 436 00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:03,066 It was great. Uh, there were rope courses, 437 00:17:03,134 --> 00:17:04,935 trust falls, stuff like that. 438 00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:06,536 Uh, turns out I'm actually 439 00:17:06,604 --> 00:17:08,772 light as a feather, stiff as a board, so... 440 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:11,140 Got that going for me. 441 00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:13,375 Well, sounds like you had a really eventful weekend. 442 00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:15,377 Sounds like... 443 00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:17,947 You... did, too. 444 00:17:20,818 --> 00:17:22,819 You went on a stay-cation! 445 00:17:22,886 --> 00:17:24,853 No, you went on a stay-cation! You're questioning me?! 446 00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:27,689 How do we stop doing this?! I have no idea! 447 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,861 I'm glad Liam was so cool with the old switcheroo. 448 00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:35,435 I know. I wonder what exciting things he's got planned. 449 00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:36,518 You'll see. 450 00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:39,512 Ooh. Here he is. 451 00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:42,319 Hello, m'ladies. 452 00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:44,141 How do I find you on this Eve? 453 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,498 What's up, Liam? Sweet costume. Anywho... 454 00:17:47,753 --> 00:17:48,696 Have fun. 455 00:17:48,856 --> 00:17:50,308 No backsies. 456 00:17:50,975 --> 00:17:52,318 So great to finally meet you. 457 00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:53,734 And I the same. 458 00:17:53,852 --> 00:17:56,918 Teresa, the duchess of your accounts receivable department, 459 00:17:57,016 --> 00:18:00,335 did not speak false when she said you were beautiful. 460 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,302 Tonight we shall dine in the medieval wing 461 00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:04,804 of the art institute. 462 00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,624 We shan't tarry another minute. 463 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,882 We shan't. We shan't not, my l-- 464 00:18:09,995 --> 00:18:11,655 I don't speak English--I mean, British. 465 00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:12,734 Let's just go. 466 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:13,825 Bye! 467 00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:17,522 How did we forget to say I sell steak sandwiches? 468 00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:21,653 Relax. No one knows what commercials sell what products. 469 00:18:22,049 --> 00:18:23,075 Like that old spice commercial 470 00:18:23,142 --> 00:18:24,176 with that black guy in the shower. 471 00:18:24,244 --> 00:18:25,810 What's he selling? Old spice. 472 00:18:25,879 --> 00:18:26,979 No, the old spice commercial 473 00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,347 with the black guy in the shower! 474 00:18:28,414 --> 00:18:30,814 What is he sell-- oh. He's selling old spice. 475 00:18:32,184 --> 00:18:36,387 Well, it's pretty quiet around here. 476 00:18:36,454 --> 00:18:38,722 Guess I should go ahead and pack her up for the night. 477 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:42,994 Hey, man. 478 00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:44,461 I'm sorry I let you down. 479 00:18:44,529 --> 00:18:45,628 Oh! No, no, man, we're in it together. 480 00:18:45,696 --> 00:18:47,764 I mean, it was your idea. You shot it, 481 00:18:47,831 --> 00:18:49,232 and you locked me out of the editing room, 482 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,601 but, uh, it's on me, too. 483 00:18:51,668 --> 00:18:54,905 They call it Hollywood, not "holly-friends." 484 00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:56,306 We're not in Hollywood. 485 00:18:56,374 --> 00:18:59,409 Dude, I saw your commercial last night. I loved it. 486 00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:01,043 You did? 487 00:19:01,111 --> 00:19:02,912 Yeah. You really spoke from the heart, you know? 488 00:19:02,979 --> 00:19:05,114 Called my dad for the first time in nine years. 489 00:19:05,181 --> 00:19:07,449 Awesome. Yeah. Well, 490 00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,151 we're gonna go get hot dogs, then go play checkers 491 00:19:09,219 --> 00:19:10,986 with some puerto rican guys. Yeah. 492 00:19:11,054 --> 00:19:13,055 See ya. Let's go, son. 493 00:19:14,524 --> 00:19:16,925 We did it! 494 00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:18,293 Taking myself! 495 00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:28,136 Why don't you have a little pasta salad, 496 00:19:28,203 --> 00:19:30,972 have something in your mouth other than lies? 497 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,706 Okay. And while I'm doing that, 498 00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:35,008 why don't you catch a movie? 499 00:19:35,076 --> 00:19:38,979 Like "liar liar" or "what lies beneath." 500 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,481 Ooh, or narnia. There's a lion in it. 501 00:19:41,549 --> 00:19:43,650 Babe, what are we doing? 502 00:19:43,717 --> 00:19:44,818 Are we seriously lying to each other 503 00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:46,920 so we don't have to be together? 504 00:19:46,988 --> 00:19:49,455 Brad, we love being together. I mean, come on. 505 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,258 Everyone wishes they had our mojo, yo. 506 00:19:52,326 --> 00:19:54,360 Yeah, I said that. Let's just keep moving. 507 00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:56,429 No, we're coming back to that. Okay, fine, fair enough. 508 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,098 Look, we go on trips together. We go to the movies together. 509 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,300 We even go cheese shopping together. 510 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,370 Yeah, like I can trust you to pick a good camembert. 511 00:20:04,438 --> 00:20:05,670 But there's nothing wrong 512 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,439 with us having a little private time, too. 513 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,575 Honestly, didn't you like having a little Brad time? 514 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,143 Well, it was nice watching "the boondocks" 515 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,045 and not having to explain why it's funny. 516 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,714 I wanna love it. I don't get it. Sometimes I don't get it. 517 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:20,352 Maybe it's okay if once a year Sara comes to visit, 518 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,253 and you have to go on a last minute work retreat. 519 00:20:23,321 --> 00:20:25,289 Babe, I was lying about the work retreat. 520 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,358 Mm-hmm. We usually go on, like, an off-site c-- 521 00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:29,093 oh, it's a metaphor. 522 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,627 I get it. 523 00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:31,928 Yeah, you will get it. 524 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,164 Yeah. Ooh! 525 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:36,833 Mmm. 526 00:20:39,836 --> 00:20:41,437 Mmm! Oh, God! Oh! 527 00:20:41,505 --> 00:20:43,139 Oh, oh! 528 00:20:46,532 --> 00:20:47,832 And after dinner, 529 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:49,467 they brought two horses into the museum courtyard. 530 00:20:49,535 --> 00:20:51,502 Shut up. And Liam and his friend dressed up as knights 531 00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:53,171 and jousted over me. 532 00:20:53,238 --> 00:20:54,472 Oh. 533 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,106 It was the most romantic night of my life. 534 00:20:56,174 --> 00:20:58,008 It sounds super romantic. 535 00:20:58,076 --> 00:21:00,410 Oh, you know what? Keith showed up after you left. 536 00:21:00,478 --> 00:21:01,712 Really? Yeah. 537 00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:04,848 Well, the guy is devastated. Was he destroyed? 538 00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:07,985 It was rough. But we ended up hanging out. Huh? 539 00:21:08,053 --> 00:21:10,754 Making English muffin pizzas, talking. It was nice. 540 00:21:10,822 --> 00:21:12,488 It was? 541 00:21:12,556 --> 00:21:14,290 Yeah. You know, after all those extravagant dates with Liam 542 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:15,725 where I'm, like, hunting quail, 543 00:21:15,793 --> 00:21:18,194 it was nice to kick back and connect with someone. 544 00:21:18,261 --> 00:21:21,064 It was perfect... And so simple. 545 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,801 Mmm. 546 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,069 I want Keith back. 547 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:29,806 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com