1 00:00:06,236 --> 00:00:08,069 Top of the morning to you, little dude! 2 00:00:08,137 --> 00:00:10,105 Hey, eat shit and die of eating shit. 3 00:00:10,172 --> 00:00:12,573 Whoa, that's no way to treat your friends. 4 00:00:12,641 --> 00:00:13,674 You're not my friends. 5 00:00:13,742 --> 00:00:15,410 We're the only ones that know what 6 00:00:15,478 --> 00:00:16,811 you're going through, little dude, 7 00:00:16,879 --> 00:00:18,513 and where you're going to. 8 00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:21,249 You can't escape your destiny, loser. 9 00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:23,250 It's either us or no one. 10 00:00:23,318 --> 00:00:24,651 I've got real friends! 11 00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:26,453 Ones that will stick by me no matter what! 12 00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:27,287 Not for long. 13 00:00:27,355 --> 00:00:28,355 Is that a threat? 14 00:00:28,423 --> 00:00:30,257 Whoa, whoa, far be it for us 15 00:00:30,325 --> 00:00:32,292 to threaten the destroyer of worlds. 16 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,261 But a shitstorm is brewing, bro. 17 00:00:34,329 --> 00:00:36,663 And you're the asshole at the center of it. 18 00:00:37,332 --> 00:00:38,365 And your friends? 19 00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:40,099 They're just gonna be swept aside. 20 00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:42,235 And casually fucked into nothingness. 21 00:00:44,171 --> 00:00:45,405 He's saying they're all gonna die 22 00:00:45,472 --> 00:00:47,440 if they keep hanging with you, loser. 23 00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:49,108 Yeah, I got that, asshole. 24 00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:51,310 Rob: Whoa, not the finger! 25 00:00:51,378 --> 00:00:52,945 You're too hard-core for us! 26 00:00:53,347 --> 00:00:54,747 (Laughing) 27 00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:57,182 What are we gonna do about Todd's problem? 28 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:58,583 You know he shaved his nutsack 29 00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:00,285 and now it's super itchy and in-grown? 30 00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:01,619 Guys do that? 31 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,021 Well, not me. I rock the dick beard. 32 00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:06,124 It makes my porksword look like a wise old wizard. 33 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,359 Curtis: And I mean old. 34 00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:08,726 That sounds far worse- 35 00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,462 I'm talking about Todd's bigger problem. 36 00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,463 We need to find out what happens if 37 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,265 he really is the pure evil one. 38 00:01:14,332 --> 00:01:15,866 It means he's gonna destroy the world. 39 00:01:15,934 --> 00:01:17,334 Or something. 40 00:01:17,402 --> 00:01:19,470 I for one think we need to keep him from doing that. 41 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,871 Jenny: Uh, yeah! He could be 44 00:01:24,309 --> 00:01:25,742 you're talking about my best friend here. 45 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:28,344 Maybe all he needs is for us to tell him 46 00:01:28,412 --> 00:01:29,612 we love him. 47 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,181 Jenny: Can't we tell him we like him? 48 00:01:31,248 --> 00:01:32,382 It's sorta the same thing. 49 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:33,183 Love's more powerful. 50 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,317 Love conquers all. 51 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,452 That's so sweet. 52 00:01:35,519 --> 00:01:36,752 Can we get back on track here? 53 00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:38,388 My dad was researching the book 54 00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:39,722 when those satanists kidnapped him. 55 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:41,491 He must know something about that prophecy 56 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:42,692 they were talking about. 57 00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:45,194 Too bad he's in a coma- 58 00:01:45,261 --> 00:01:47,762 but he could snap out of that any day now. 59 00:01:48,030 --> 00:01:49,631 Like right now. 60 00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:50,732 Thanks, Curtis. 61 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:51,866 Look! 62 00:01:54,737 --> 00:01:56,871 Dad, what are you doing here? 63 00:01:59,309 --> 00:02:00,775 "Dear Jenny, your father is a vegatable. 64 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,376 "Which is why I'm leaving him. 65 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:03,845 "With you. Forever. 66 00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:05,346 "Love, mom." 67 00:02:05,648 --> 00:02:07,616 Curtis: Yeah but there's something on the back. 68 00:02:07,683 --> 00:02:10,752 "P.S. Forever means I'm not coming back." 69 00:02:11,253 --> 00:02:12,320 Harsh. 70 00:02:37,945 --> 00:02:39,546 Hi! I'm Leslie! 71 00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:42,382 You wanna trade sandwiches?! 72 00:02:43,618 --> 00:02:45,552 Why would I want to trade sandwiches? 73 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,953 Maybe you eat my sandwich 74 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:48,521 and I eat your sandwich 75 00:02:48,588 --> 00:02:49,955 and we become friends? 76 00:02:53,693 --> 00:03:05,403 ♪ 77 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:27,891 "Expello... meus... Solitudo... eternus!" 78 00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:34,103 Subsfreak 79 00:03:40,336 --> 00:03:41,669 Okay, listen up, you old geezers. 80 00:03:41,737 --> 00:03:43,470 I've got an important announcement to make. 81 00:03:43,538 --> 00:03:45,472 I too have an important announcement to make. 82 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:46,873 Are you telling me your announcement 83 00:03:46,941 --> 00:03:48,275 is more important than mine? 84 00:03:48,343 --> 00:03:49,643 Most assuredly. 85 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,480 Get on with it. Make it snappy. 86 00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:55,782 My fellow brethren- 87 00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:58,952 our ancient society recently suffered a terrible 88 00:03:59,019 --> 00:04:01,788 and painful loss when our beloved Minion Bob 89 00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:04,290 died at the hands of the book. 90 00:04:04,358 --> 00:04:06,192 You're not being snappy! 91 00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:07,693 Fine! 92 00:04:07,762 --> 00:04:10,196 Now that he's gone, we need to replace him! 93 00:04:11,365 --> 00:04:13,767 So please welcome our new fourth Minion- 94 00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:15,433 Fred. 95 00:04:17,536 --> 00:04:20,472 (Clapping) 96 00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:22,474 Minion Bob's ceremonial robe. 97 00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,643 Sorry we didn't get a chance to wash 98 00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:26,311 the blood and feces off it. 99 00:04:26,379 --> 00:04:27,813 Atticus: Yeah, welcome to the family, 100 00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:29,114 Minion Fred. 101 00:04:29,182 --> 00:04:31,049 I'm sure you'll be just as mediocre a Minion 102 00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:32,450 as the rest of them. 103 00:04:32,518 --> 00:04:34,753 Now onto the real important announcement. 104 00:04:36,889 --> 00:04:37,955 (Clears throat) 105 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:40,692 I'm the pure evil one. 106 00:04:44,062 --> 00:04:46,431 At least I will be, once you deliver me 107 00:04:46,499 --> 00:04:48,632 the book of pure evil. Questions? Comments? Praise? 108 00:04:49,066 --> 00:04:50,668 Yeah, let's start with Minion George. 109 00:04:50,735 --> 00:04:52,903 If this is a joke, I don't get it. 110 00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:54,338 No. Not a joke. 111 00:04:54,406 --> 00:04:56,507 Okay, you're trying to set up a bigger joke. 112 00:04:56,574 --> 00:04:57,874 Yeah, like a prank! 113 00:04:57,942 --> 00:05:00,844 Look, I just told you guys I'm the pure evil one. 114 00:05:00,912 --> 00:05:02,513 That's...Big news! 115 00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:07,016 I thought somebody... Would be excited by that? 116 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:09,352 Did you just say you want us 117 00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:11,521 to get you the book of pure evil? 118 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,022 Because we haven't been outside 119 00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:15,525 of this home in almost twenty years. 120 00:05:15,592 --> 00:05:17,993 (Laughing) You're all so useless! 121 00:05:18,595 --> 00:05:20,529 That includes you, Minion Fred. 122 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:22,531 Atticus: I'll find the book myself! 123 00:05:25,702 --> 00:05:26,901 What a dipshit! 124 00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:29,003 (Laughing) 125 00:05:29,071 --> 00:05:31,673 You'll fit in just fine, Minion Fred! 126 00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:35,543 So our goals should be: 127 00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:37,044 Get the book before Atticus does. 128 00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:39,714 And destroy the book before Todd becomes- 129 00:05:39,981 --> 00:05:41,749 (whispering) The pure evil one. 130 00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,250 Thanks for the reminder, Hannah. 131 00:05:44,453 --> 00:05:45,886 I think he heard you. 132 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:48,121 Sorry, Todd, but it's something we have to deal with 133 00:05:48,189 --> 00:05:49,623 before you hurt anyone else. 134 00:05:49,691 --> 00:05:50,791 Ow! 135 00:05:50,859 --> 00:05:52,625 Your arm's made of metal, idiot! 136 00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:53,893 You shorted out my arm! 137 00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:55,395 Okay, careful where you- 138 00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:56,529 whack! 139 00:05:57,631 --> 00:05:58,764 Curtis! 140 00:05:59,065 --> 00:06:00,399 Aim that. 141 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:02,568 Sorry, I didn't mean to fist your dad. 142 00:06:02,635 --> 00:06:05,203 That metal arm is dangerous! It could kill somebody! 143 00:06:06,806 --> 00:06:08,240 I'm the one that's dangerous. 144 00:06:08,808 --> 00:06:10,909 I mean, I almost killed my best friend. 145 00:06:10,977 --> 00:06:13,779 After I tried to kill you, dude. 146 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,713 Let's call it even. 147 00:06:15,947 --> 00:06:17,482 No you were under the book's power. 148 00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:18,916 I wasn't. 149 00:06:18,984 --> 00:06:22,420 Look, even if we get the book before Atticus, 150 00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:23,921 there's no way to destroy it. 151 00:06:23,989 --> 00:06:26,591 And if I really become the pure evil one- 152 00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:29,427 I don't want you guys around when that happens. 153 00:06:29,495 --> 00:06:31,762 Maybe if we find out more about the prophecy 154 00:06:31,829 --> 00:06:33,296 we can stop that from happening. 155 00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:37,000 It's time for me to be my own dude. 156 00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:42,773 I need to do this alone. 157 00:06:43,508 --> 00:06:44,574 Todd! 158 00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:46,075 Todd, wait! 159 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,243 We love you! 160 00:06:53,249 --> 00:06:55,117 Did Todd just break up with us? 161 00:07:05,861 --> 00:07:07,029 (Brody whistling) 162 00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:09,331 Nice robe, sweater dude! 163 00:07:09,598 --> 00:07:11,466 Oh, I keep forgetting to take this off- 164 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:13,135 it looks great. Really. 165 00:07:13,202 --> 00:07:14,702 Totally flattering. 166 00:07:17,706 --> 00:07:18,640 Really? 167 00:07:18,707 --> 00:07:20,007 Loser. 168 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,944 I'm getting mixed messages from you guys. 169 00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:24,645 He's not easily impressed. 170 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,080 Oh, you'll be impressed soon enough. 171 00:07:26,148 --> 00:07:28,082 You all will when I lay my hands 172 00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:30,684 on the book of pure evil and complete my ascendence 173 00:07:30,752 --> 00:07:32,253 to become the pure evil one. 174 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,388 Brody: Just remember- 175 00:07:34,456 --> 00:07:36,823 only the pure evil one can control the power of the book. 176 00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:38,724 Yes, me. And only me. 177 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,961 Who is who I am. 178 00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,997 Yeah, you might want to lose the robe 179 00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:45,765 before you go into the school. 180 00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:49,302 Fuck! Keep forgetting to take this thing off! 181 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,272 (Laughing) 182 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:03,849 Hi. I'm Leslie! 183 00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,184 What's your name? 184 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:08,052 Uh, my name is "get out of my face, fannypack." 185 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,389 Would you like to be my friend? 186 00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,963 Yeah! I'm like so glad we're friends now! 187 00:08:19,764 --> 00:08:22,000 You and I are gonna be very close. 188 00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:26,870 Would you like to be my friend? 189 00:08:27,271 --> 00:08:28,338 What? 190 00:08:34,278 --> 00:08:35,145 Hello, Todd. 191 00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:36,213 Oh great- 192 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,547 so glad I bumped into you. 193 00:08:37,615 --> 00:08:39,215 I've got a big surprise for you. 194 00:08:39,282 --> 00:08:41,283 But I can't tell you what it is, 195 00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:43,285 because I want it to stay a surprise, 196 00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:45,287 so you'll be surprised when you hear it. 197 00:08:45,355 --> 00:08:46,522 What? 198 00:08:46,589 --> 00:08:47,789 I'm gonna destroy your little gang! 199 00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:50,959 There is no gang anymore. 200 00:08:51,028 --> 00:08:52,228 It's just me and you. 201 00:08:52,295 --> 00:08:54,296 And I'm gonna find the book before you do. 202 00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:55,898 Then I'm gonna kick your ass. 203 00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,098 Believe me, 204 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,967 my ass can take a lot of pounding. 205 00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:02,404 I didn't say pound. I said kick. 206 00:09:02,805 --> 00:09:04,105 Same thing. 207 00:09:04,173 --> 00:09:06,675 No, it- it really isn't. 208 00:09:06,743 --> 00:09:08,309 Yeah- it is. 209 00:09:08,978 --> 00:09:10,579 Fine. Have it your way. 210 00:09:10,647 --> 00:09:12,914 I'm still gonna find the book before you do. 211 00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:15,249 Oh, I'll find the book before you, Todd Smith! 212 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:17,985 And I'll be waiting with anticipation! 213 00:09:18,386 --> 00:09:20,187 For that ass-pounding. 214 00:09:23,992 --> 00:09:25,927 Atticus: Who has the book this time? 215 00:09:26,828 --> 00:09:28,995 Is it the makeup face children? 216 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,832 Is it the pornographic fantasy ladies? 217 00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:38,071 Is it the preppy bags of douche? 218 00:09:38,338 --> 00:09:39,673 You were so right, Leslie! 219 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,307 Trading sandwiches makes them taste better! 220 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,776 I like it when there's too much sandwich! 221 00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:45,410 Double-meat sandwiches, wow! 222 00:09:45,845 --> 00:09:47,947 I make fancy sandwiches for my dog! 223 00:09:48,014 --> 00:09:49,782 Would you people keep it down?! 224 00:09:51,017 --> 00:09:52,350 Curtis: I'm really worried about Todd. 225 00:09:52,418 --> 00:09:54,352 What if he is the pure evil one? 226 00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,021 What if he can't control himself? 227 00:09:56,089 --> 00:09:58,791 I saw him lose control and almost kill you. 228 00:09:59,292 --> 00:10:01,092 You know, Hannah, you look really sexy 229 00:10:01,159 --> 00:10:02,159 when you're scared. 230 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,427 I'm not scared, I'm just- 231 00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:06,898 what? You think I'm sexy? 232 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,266 Totally. 233 00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:12,971 I've never been called sexy before. 234 00:10:13,038 --> 00:10:14,706 I don't know how to react. 235 00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:15,939 So many new emotions. 236 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:17,307 Say it again? 237 00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:18,441 You're sexy. 238 00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,980 I could get used to that word. 239 00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:24,114 Sexy- 240 00:10:25,216 --> 00:10:27,651 how about super-sexy? 241 00:10:27,719 --> 00:10:30,120 Oh...That's even better. 242 00:10:31,722 --> 00:10:33,956 How 'bout... ultra humpable? 243 00:10:34,224 --> 00:10:36,158 Let's stick with super-sexy. 244 00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:37,292 Hey guys! 245 00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:41,296 Do you wanna be my friends? 246 00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:45,400 Friends to the end! 247 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,134 Todd: First, I had the book- 248 00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:54,969 then Hannah had the book- 249 00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:56,971 then there was tiny Todd- 250 00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:58,205 and then- 251 00:10:58,273 --> 00:11:00,140 oh, right! Sexy twins. 252 00:11:04,212 --> 00:11:06,380 Were the sexy twins before or after tiny Todd? 253 00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:08,182 Male: Who wants to eat a hoagie?! 254 00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:09,383 Female: I do, I do! 255 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,384 Male: Love meat fries! 256 00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:11,618 Female: Me too! 257 00:11:11,686 --> 00:11:13,086 Hey, will you people keep it down! 258 00:11:13,154 --> 00:11:15,221 Female: I love meatballs! Meatballs are the best! 259 00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:23,329 Me again, Hannah. Where are you guys? 260 00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:24,830 Call me! 261 00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:30,835 Something's not right. 262 00:11:32,738 --> 00:11:33,705 Ew! 263 00:11:33,772 --> 00:11:35,473 Knock it off, assholes! 264 00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:38,677 Mr. gunderson: Okey dokey, 265 00:11:38,744 --> 00:11:40,278 yesterday we left off discussing palm reading 266 00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:42,914 and I thought, uh- 267 00:11:42,981 --> 00:11:44,749 what the hell is that? 268 00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:46,750 This is my dad, Mr. gunderson. 269 00:11:46,818 --> 00:11:48,018 Yeeeah... I don't wanna know. 270 00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:50,221 I just want you to take the old man 271 00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:52,022 in the wheelchair out of this classroom. 272 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,824 I have nowhere else to put him. 273 00:11:53,891 --> 00:11:54,692 Not my problem! 274 00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:56,193 He's creeping...Me out. 275 00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:57,861 Anyone else feel the same? 276 00:12:00,432 --> 00:12:01,498 I'm sorry, Jenny. 277 00:12:01,966 --> 00:12:03,366 Democracy has spoken. 278 00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:06,035 Stupid democracy- 279 00:12:07,271 --> 00:12:09,138 that's not even a fucking subject! 280 00:12:12,943 --> 00:12:15,378 Sandwich is a very smart the person! 281 00:12:15,446 --> 00:12:17,980 Curtis: What if we put a sandwich inside a sandwich? 282 00:12:18,048 --> 00:12:20,148 I've been looking everywhere for you guys! 283 00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:23,885 Wanna be friends? 284 00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,855 Oh my...Fuck- 285 00:12:27,457 --> 00:12:29,524 ahhhhhhhh! 286 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,402 You look a little frazzled, dude. 287 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,403 What's up? 288 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,605 Oh- hey, Jimmy. 289 00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:46,574 I'm just looking for the book. 290 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,076 Isn't that what that gang is for? 291 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,278 I sort of... Broke up with the gang. 292 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,246 How come? 293 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,781 Well, they're afraid of me, 294 00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:56,750 and maybe they should be. 295 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,419 They don't wanna hang out with you anymore, I get it- 296 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,421 no, no, they wanna hang out with me. 297 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,656 They do- 298 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:03,890 alright, then what's the problem? 299 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,192 I'm afraid that if they keep hanging out with me 300 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:08,027 they're gonna like- 301 00:13:08,495 --> 00:13:09,695 die. 302 00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,497 So I'm thinking it might be better for me 303 00:13:11,564 --> 00:13:13,432 to just kinda go off on my own. 304 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,501 You know, like a lone wolf. 305 00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:17,270 Alright, lone wolf sounds cool. 306 00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:19,371 Yeah, but it's actually kinda lonely. 307 00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:21,274 Well, you'll get used to it, though. 308 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:23,441 And jerking off a lot, right? 309 00:13:24,844 --> 00:13:27,279 Alright lone wolf, I'm gonna let you be- 310 00:13:27,346 --> 00:13:29,147 hey, uh, if you're not doing anything 311 00:13:29,215 --> 00:13:32,250 maybe you and I could... Hang out. 312 00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:35,220 Aren't we friends? 313 00:13:35,288 --> 00:13:36,354 Yeah. 314 00:13:37,857 --> 00:13:38,924 Oh- 315 00:13:40,526 --> 00:13:42,126 yeah, the- (Clears throat) 316 00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:45,196 I guess the best thing for you Jimmy is to- 317 00:13:46,131 --> 00:13:47,231 stay away from me. 318 00:13:48,266 --> 00:13:49,433 Alright, suit yourself. 319 00:14:00,878 --> 00:14:02,812 (Laughing) 320 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,481 Hey you guys, you know what we should all do tonight? 321 00:14:05,549 --> 00:14:07,150 Have a sleepover! 322 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:08,952 That sounds like so much fun! 323 00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:10,820 We should do it at Leslie's house! 324 00:14:10,888 --> 00:14:12,155 Everybody bring their pajamas! 325 00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:13,857 Or, not- 326 00:14:14,391 --> 00:14:17,160 it's been really great having all these new friends and all 327 00:14:17,228 --> 00:14:19,995 but I think I might need a little time to myself. 328 00:14:20,063 --> 00:14:21,397 Why would you want that, Leslie? 329 00:14:21,465 --> 00:14:22,832 We're all here for you! 330 00:14:22,899 --> 00:14:24,834 No really, I just need some space- 331 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:27,336 why would you go anywhere without your friends, Leslie? 332 00:14:27,404 --> 00:14:29,004 Yeah, we're here for you, Leslie! 333 00:14:29,072 --> 00:14:30,239 We're always here for you! 334 00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:31,841 Friends to the end! 335 00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:33,441 Curtis: I'm hungry! Can we get some corn chips?! 336 00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:35,109 How about we order a pizza?! 337 00:14:35,177 --> 00:14:36,511 With pineapples on it! 338 00:14:36,579 --> 00:14:37,912 And ham! 339 00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:39,514 That sounds good! You should patent that! 340 00:14:39,582 --> 00:14:41,115 It's called a hawaian pizza! 341 00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:42,450 Jenny: I like sausage! 342 00:14:42,518 --> 00:14:44,786 You can't put sausage on a hawaian pizza! 343 00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:47,154 You people are driving me crazy! 344 00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,223 Holy Jupiter shit! 345 00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:52,493 Mr. Murphy! I need your help! 346 00:14:52,927 --> 00:14:54,528 Let me guess, you have the book. 347 00:14:54,596 --> 00:14:56,363 Here! Take it! 348 00:14:58,266 --> 00:14:59,666 Well, that was easy. 349 00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:01,435 Come on, Atticus, be friends with us and Leslie! 350 00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:04,037 Now that I have the book you wanna be friends? 351 00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:05,671 That ship has sailed, bitchface! 352 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,342 I mean friend-face! Hahahahaha! 353 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,179 Todd: Hello? 354 00:15:15,716 --> 00:15:17,249 Is anyone there? 355 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,119 Curtis: Hey Todd! 356 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,520 Come and join the student body! 357 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,121 Look, a new friend! 358 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:24,322 Hannah: We always need more boys! 359 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,557 Jenny: And I like sausage! 360 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,191 Hannah: I like pineapple! 361 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:30,194 Holy...Shit. 362 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,898 I'm surprised that this doesn't surprise me. 363 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,233 Atticus: Look, it's my favorite Nemesis, Todd Smith! 364 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:36,501 And you've got the book. 365 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,502 I'll show you the power of pure evil 366 00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:39,537 after our pizza sleepover! 367 00:15:39,604 --> 00:15:41,338 We're still doing that, right? 368 00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:43,073 Leslie: Help me! 369 00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:44,442 All I wanted was some friends! 370 00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:45,976 But they're smothering me! 371 00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:47,511 You don't mean that , do you Leslie? 372 00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:49,112 That's what I love about Leslie! 373 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,714 She's such a kidder! 374 00:15:50,782 --> 00:15:53,016 Curtis: Leslie, you really have a great sense of humor! 375 00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:53,783 (Flesh tearing) 376 00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:54,584 Leslie: Ahhhhhh! 377 00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:56,085 And a great scream. 378 00:15:56,153 --> 00:15:57,353 So true! 379 00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:58,521 You know, you guys are really making 380 00:15:58,589 --> 00:16:00,189 a great case for membership. 381 00:16:01,325 --> 00:16:02,926 All: Join the student body, Todd. 382 00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:04,928 It's so nice in here. 383 00:16:04,995 --> 00:16:06,596 We're getting along so wonderfully. 384 00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:08,264 No one has to be alone. 385 00:16:08,332 --> 00:16:10,466 If being alone is what it takes to keep 386 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,668 my friends safe, then I have to be alone. 387 00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:16,304 All: Resistance is futile. You will be friended. 388 00:16:17,006 --> 00:16:19,341 Really? All of you guys are friends? 389 00:16:19,408 --> 00:16:20,843 All: Friends to the end. 390 00:16:22,178 --> 00:16:24,112 How can all of you guys be friends? 391 00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:25,646 I mean- 392 00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:27,414 do you guys even know anything about each other? 393 00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:29,617 How well can anybody know anybody? 394 00:16:30,018 --> 00:16:32,587 Yeah, your friends say that they're there for you. 395 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:35,289 And that they understand what you're going through, but- 396 00:16:35,357 --> 00:16:37,124 they don't really know. 397 00:16:37,759 --> 00:16:40,294 At the end of the day... We're all alone. 398 00:16:41,029 --> 00:16:43,029 Or in Elliot's case, alone under the bleachers 399 00:16:43,097 --> 00:16:45,031 jerking off to Wanda doing her cheerleading routine. 400 00:16:45,099 --> 00:16:46,833 What?! Gross! 401 00:16:47,368 --> 00:16:48,702 You know what's gross? 402 00:16:48,769 --> 00:16:50,136 The smell after Curtis leaves the washroom! 403 00:16:50,204 --> 00:16:51,638 That's true. 404 00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,072 Hey, that's my boyfriend you're talking about! 405 00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:55,174 You actually got somebody to go out with you?! 406 00:16:55,242 --> 00:16:56,576 Hannah: Shut up! That's so rude! 407 00:16:56,644 --> 00:16:58,377 At least they don't call her margarine. 408 00:16:58,444 --> 00:16:59,478 All: Huh? 409 00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:00,312 Because she spreads easy. 410 00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:03,315 (Laughing) 411 00:17:03,383 --> 00:17:05,484 You suck! You all suck! 412 00:17:05,552 --> 00:17:07,252 You know who's the worst? Leslie! 413 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,587 All: Yeah! 414 00:17:08,655 --> 00:17:09,688 She acts like she's friends with everyone, 415 00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,256 we don't even know who she is! 416 00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:12,324 Yeah- 417 00:17:12,392 --> 00:17:15,259 (students talking) 418 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,028 Leslie: Oooooow! 419 00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:18,162 Aw- 420 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:22,333 (students grumbling) 421 00:17:22,401 --> 00:17:24,569 No, no! Please, no! 422 00:17:26,405 --> 00:17:29,140 (Students groaning) 423 00:17:29,207 --> 00:17:31,207 I hate teenagers! 424 00:17:31,475 --> 00:17:34,011 (Flesh tearing) 425 00:17:34,078 --> 00:17:35,679 You're tearing me apart! 426 00:17:35,747 --> 00:17:37,814 Literally! 427 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,516 Ahhhhhhh! 428 00:17:39,584 --> 00:17:44,387 (Blood spraying) 429 00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:53,362 (Students groaning) 430 00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:55,197 Holy Jupiter shit- what just happened? 431 00:17:59,803 --> 00:18:02,303 Let go of the book, Atticus! It will destroy you! 432 00:18:02,371 --> 00:18:04,539 No, you will be the one who is destroyed. 433 00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:05,540 By me! 434 00:18:05,608 --> 00:18:07,042 You can't control its power! 435 00:18:07,109 --> 00:18:08,710 That's what you think but you're wrong! 436 00:18:08,778 --> 00:18:10,912 I feel the book's power pulsating through me- 437 00:18:11,781 --> 00:18:12,847 me too- 438 00:18:13,115 --> 00:18:15,183 pulsing! It's not just you- 439 00:18:15,451 --> 00:18:16,551 I think I can- 440 00:18:16,619 --> 00:18:18,385 I think I can control it- 441 00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:20,054 yes... 442 00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:21,722 (Evil Todd) Yes, I know I can- 443 00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:23,057 (energy pulsing) 444 00:18:23,124 --> 00:18:24,191 No, it is me! 445 00:18:24,258 --> 00:18:26,226 I am the one who controls it! 446 00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:29,697 They're getting all pure evil-ey- 447 00:18:29,764 --> 00:18:31,765 Todd's a bit more convincing. 448 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,733 Jenny: Todd, listen to me! 449 00:18:35,302 --> 00:18:36,736 You don't need that book. 450 00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:38,805 What else do I have going for me? 451 00:18:38,872 --> 00:18:41,240 None of you trust me. And why should you? 452 00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:43,810 I'm always getting you into danger, risking your lives- 453 00:18:44,411 --> 00:18:47,513 the book of pure evil... Is my only true friend. 454 00:18:48,148 --> 00:18:50,782 No, the book is my friend! 455 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:53,251 That's not true Todd. You have us. 456 00:18:53,319 --> 00:18:55,087 You don't have to do this. 457 00:18:55,154 --> 00:18:56,354 Hannah: We'll save you, Todd! 458 00:18:56,422 --> 00:18:57,956 Curtis: All of us, together! 459 00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:01,994 I can't stop destiny. 460 00:19:04,497 --> 00:19:05,563 Thud! 461 00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:12,770 (Energy pulsing) 462 00:19:15,507 --> 00:19:16,674 Todd, no! 463 00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:25,749 Ugh! 464 00:19:28,218 --> 00:19:29,886 You haven't heard the last of me! 465 00:19:30,855 --> 00:19:32,288 I still work here! 466 00:19:32,356 --> 00:19:34,157 Every day, eight am! 467 00:19:34,224 --> 00:19:36,292 I'm here to make your lives hell! 468 00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:38,326 Uhhh! 469 00:19:43,366 --> 00:19:44,566 Are you okay, dude? 470 00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:47,903 I was gonna use the book again. 471 00:19:49,472 --> 00:19:51,140 I couldn't stop myself. 472 00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:52,641 Jenny: That's why you have us. 473 00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:54,308 To save you from yourself. 474 00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:58,813 I guess- 475 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,816 I can't really fight the book without you guys, huh? 476 00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:02,750 Nope. 477 00:20:02,818 --> 00:20:04,418 And you don't have to. 478 00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:09,157 Hey, it's like we're the student body. 479 00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:10,824 But in a good way. 480 00:20:14,228 --> 00:20:15,395 Now that we're back together, 481 00:20:15,462 --> 00:20:17,197 what do you guys want to do? 482 00:20:17,264 --> 00:20:18,431 Throw rocks over the overpass? 483 00:20:18,499 --> 00:20:19,833 Todd: Yeah! 484 00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:21,534 Uh...Shouldn't we be looking for the book? 485 00:20:23,237 --> 00:20:24,437 What was up with Atticus? 486 00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,338 He's just doing what he always does- 487 00:20:26,406 --> 00:20:28,174 trying to get the book and stuff. 488 00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:31,210 Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? 489 00:20:31,277 --> 00:20:32,511 (Pat groaning) 490 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:33,713 Jennifer! 491 00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:35,547 Dad?! 492 00:20:36,249 --> 00:20:37,316 Ugh- 493 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,874 he thinks he's the pure evil one! 494 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,609 Either he's insane or else he's 495 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,645 an even bigger idiot than we ever imagined. 496 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,780 Could be 50/50, Dave. 497 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:51,250 We cannot allow this farce to continue 498 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,252 even if he is our hooded leader! 499 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:56,288 Drastic measures must be taken. 500 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,756 Sodomy! 501 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,857 Let's not be too hasty. 502 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,693 He's still the only one who can deliver us the book. 503 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,861 My knees can't keep up with all this running around. 504 00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:06,730 If he delivers it. 505 00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,767 He has before. I'm certain he will again. 506 00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:11,835 And then what do we do with him? 507 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:13,170 Sodomy! 508 00:21:13,237 --> 00:21:14,971 Fred, give it a rest. 509 00:21:16,007 --> 00:21:19,108 Once Atticus brings us the book 510 00:21:19,176 --> 00:21:22,077 he will be of no further use to us. 511 00:21:22,145 --> 00:21:26,248 Which means... Death to all false prophets. 512 00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,885 And then sodomy?