1
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:05,937
Hi, this is Elizabeth Montgomery
2
00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:08,506
inviting you to stay tuned
for Bewitched.
3
00:00:08,507 --> 00:00:09,507
[SNAPS FINGERS]
4
00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:13,979
[MAN LAUGHING ON TV]
5
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,313
MAN:
Wow-wee, kids,
6
00:00:15,314 --> 00:00:17,415
wasn't that a funny cartoon?
7
00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:20,051
I bet you never thought it was
going to end, did you?
8
00:00:20,052 --> 00:00:21,219
Neither did I.
9
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:24,121
Okay, time for lunch.
Now, you have a choice.
10
00:00:24,122 --> 00:00:25,823
What will it be?
Peanut butter and jelly
11
00:00:25,824 --> 00:00:27,091
or egg salad sandwiches?
12
00:00:27,092 --> 00:00:30,061
Shh, Mommy,
we're watching Steamboat Bill.
13
00:00:30,062 --> 00:00:34,332
Well, I'm sure that Steamboat
Bill approves of lunch.
14
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,034
Now, what'll it be?
15
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:39,203
Mommy, please, you said
we could watch Daddy's new show.
16
00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:41,640
Well, sweetheart,
it isn't really Daddy's show.
17
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:43,775
He just does the advertising.
18
00:00:43,776 --> 00:00:46,911
Okay, kids, it's time
for our daily boxing lesson.
19
00:00:46,912 --> 00:00:50,415
You guessed it, Punch and Judy.
Sock it to her, Punch.
20
00:00:50,416 --> 00:00:51,783
Hi, everybody.
21
00:00:51,784 --> 00:00:53,485
My name is Mr. Punch,
22
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,787
and this is
the Punch and Judy Show.
23
00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:59,090
First, I'll start things out
by calling up my wife, Judy.
24
00:00:59,091 --> 00:01:00,558
Hey, Judy, come on up.
25
00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:02,227
JUDY [ON TV]:
I can't.
26
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,427
Why not?
27
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,263
JUDY:
Because I'm busy, busy, busy.
28
00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:06,865
PUNCH:
You better come up
29
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:09,834
or you're gonna be
sorry, sorry, sorry.
30
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,037
JUDY:
Well, what do you want?
31
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,772
I want a kiss.
32
00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:14,906
No.
33
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,909
All right, then try one of mine.
34
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:19,277
JUDY:
Ow.
35
00:01:19,278 --> 00:01:20,812
Did you like it?
No.
36
00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:23,315
Try another. You'll acquire
a taste for them.
37
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,817
Mommy, how come Punch
always hits Judy?
38
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:27,051
[TITTERS]
39
00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,588
Because she isn't a member
of women's lib.
40
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,655
What, Mommy?
41
00:01:30,656 --> 00:01:32,624
Never mind, sweetheart.
42
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,393
Punch is just very aggressive,
43
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:39,096
which doesn't seem to bother
your brother one bit.
44
00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:40,832
Now, what'll you have for lunch?
45
00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:42,934
How about a TV lunch?
46
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:47,972
Okay, two TV peanut-butter-
and-jelly specials coming up.
47
00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:49,474
JUDY:
No.
48
00:01:49,475 --> 00:01:51,710
PUNCH: Boy, you're
persistent, aren't you?
49
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,745
You're also a glutton
for punishment.
50
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:56,348
Take another and another
and another. Now...
51
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,549
Larry.
52
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,116
How's our latest contribution
53
00:01:59,117 --> 00:02:00,952
to the humor and culture
of our youth?
54
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:04,021
Not only have I not laughed,
chuckled or smiled,
55
00:02:04,022 --> 00:02:05,390
but I'm actually in pain.
56
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:08,627
Let me remind you,
you're not a 5-year-old.
57
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:12,464
But you are the account
executive, so keep watching.
58
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,232
The sponsor might ask questions.
59
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:16,801
JUDY: I'm gonna have a sore
head tomorrow, I can tell that.
60
00:02:16,802 --> 00:02:18,670
Ow!
61
00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:22,807
That's awful,
the way he keeps hitting her.
62
00:02:22,808 --> 00:02:24,375
You better look out.
63
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:26,911
Oh, yeah? Well, take another
and another and another.
64
00:02:26,912 --> 00:02:30,080
You're learning real bad things
from this show.
65
00:02:31,316 --> 00:02:34,018
Okay, someone has to put a stop
to all this hitting,
66
00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:36,187
and it might as well be me.
67
00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:37,555
[MAGICAL CHIMES]
68
00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:40,992
PUNCH: Judy, go get my supper.
JUDY: No.
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00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,128
PUNCH:
And another.
70
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:46,031
TABITHA: Hi. My mommy says
you're very aggressive
71
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:49,067
and because of you,
my brother keeps on hitting me.
72
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,568
Tabitha.
73
00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:52,270
That girl.
Where did that kid come from?
74
00:02:52,271 --> 00:02:53,838
I don't know.
I never saw her before.
75
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,072
Wha...?
76
00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:56,073
Ow, ow, ow!
77
00:02:56,074 --> 00:02:58,643
Stop that hitting.
78
00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:01,279
Yeah, where did
the kid come from?
79
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,714
How do I know?
80
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,949
Maybe they added something
without telling us.
81
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:07,785
Or maybe the director's
back on the funny water.
82
00:03:07,786 --> 00:03:10,121
All you know how to do,
Punch, is hit.
83
00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:13,458
There's... Wait till I tell
my analyst about this.
84
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:17,061
Oh, come on, little girl.
Don't be a spoiled sport.
85
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:18,363
I ain't hitting her hard.
86
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,297
Besides, Judy likes it.
87
00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:20,632
Sam!
88
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,702
[IN JUDY'S VOICE]
I sure do. Ow, ow, ow!
89
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,071
Adam, Judy only said that
because she's scared of Punch.
90
00:03:27,072 --> 00:03:30,007
But, Judy, you don't have
to be scared of Punch anymore.
91
00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:31,910
[MAGICAL CHIMES]
92
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,579
PUNCH:
What? Where's my slapper?
93
00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:35,880
Judy, have you seen my slapper?
94
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,482
No, but I'll go get another one.
95
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:38,816
My goodness.
96
00:03:40,151 --> 00:03:42,019
Thank you very much.
There.
97
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,421
Now, doesn't that feel better?
98
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:45,289
No.
99
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:47,291
[PHONE RINGS]
100
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:53,231
Hello? Oh, hi, sweetheart.
101
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:56,434
Sam, may I ask
what you're doing?
102
00:03:56,435 --> 00:03:59,270
Of course you may.
103
00:03:59,271 --> 00:04:02,273
May I ask why you ask?
104
00:04:02,274 --> 00:04:05,410
Because your daughter
is on television.
105
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,412
What?
106
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,348
She just popped
into the Steamboat Bill Show.
107
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:12,817
You're kidding.
108
00:04:12,818 --> 00:04:14,619
Sam,
109
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,689
there are certain things
I don't kid about.
110
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,357
Do something.
111
00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:23,161
All right, all right.
112
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,296
Oh, Tabitha.
113
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,435
NARRATOR:
114
00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,211
[♪]
115
00:05:08,874 --> 00:05:10,608
[♪]
116
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,583
[♪]
117
00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:20,351
Nah-nah,
you missed me.
118
00:05:20,352 --> 00:05:22,487
Didn't that time.
119
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,589
Punch, you're setting
a bad example
120
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,858
for all
the little boys watching.
121
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,493
My little brother hit me
because of you.
122
00:05:33,098 --> 00:05:34,332
Tabitha.
123
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,368
Oh, hi, Mommy. I'm on TV.
124
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:40,104
No, you're not. You're canceled.
125
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:41,939
Now, you come home
right this minute.
126
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,842
I'm sorry,
but my mother wants me.
127
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,110
Punch, don't you forget
what I said.
128
00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:47,879
[MAGICAL CHIMES]
129
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,781
You all saw that, didn't you?
I mean, it's not just me.
130
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:57,021
Tabitha, you were very naughty,
and I am very angry.
131
00:05:57,022 --> 00:05:59,691
But, Mommy,
I didn't hurt anybody.
132
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,260
Well, I'm not too sure.
You might have hurt Daddy.
133
00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:06,263
But, Mommy,
how come you do stuff sometimes?
134
00:06:06,264 --> 00:06:08,466
Only in emergencies.
135
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,601
To correct something
that Esmeralda
136
00:06:10,602 --> 00:06:12,270
or Uncle Arthur might have done.
137
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:14,405
Some small catastrophe.
138
00:06:14,406 --> 00:06:16,507
What's a catastrophe?
139
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,980
Something we live with
in this house every day.
140
00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:27,752
Oh, uh, hi, Larry.
141
00:06:27,753 --> 00:06:30,822
Don't you "Hi, Larry" me,
you sly devil.
142
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,590
Yeah, well, look,
it's really very easy,
143
00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:34,158
very simple to explain.
144
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,927
Silverton loved it.
145
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,061
Who?
146
00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:39,997
Silverton, the sponsor.
Remember him?
147
00:06:39,998 --> 00:06:41,866
He loved it.
Oh.
148
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,669
He just called to say he thought
it was a marvelous touch
149
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,171
having the girl
talk to the puppets
150
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,538
as if they were real people.
151
00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:49,640
And I agree with him
100 percent.
152
00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:51,109
Even though I didn't see it.
153
00:06:52,077 --> 00:06:54,745
Now, as your commander in chief,
154
00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:57,448
I demand to know
why you didn't let me in on it.
155
00:06:57,449 --> 00:07:01,886
Well, because it was, uh,
only just an experiment.
156
00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:05,089
Experiment, my eye. Silverton
wants to use her every day.
157
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,825
The calls to the station
have been fantastic.
158
00:07:07,826 --> 00:07:10,128
That little kid
really got to the audience.
159
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,329
Well, that's wonderful, Larry.
160
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,865
The only trouble is,
161
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,367
uh, we're not gonna be able
to get to that little kid.
162
00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:18,002
What do you mean?
163
00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:20,238
Well, you see,
I just had an usher, uh...
164
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:22,307
Uh, pick her
out of the audience.
165
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,509
I haven't the slightest idea
who she is.
166
00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:28,179
And after the show she just
popped out like she popped in.
167
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,014
Popped out, popped in?
168
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:33,151
Uh, well, that's just
a figure of speech.
169
00:07:34,352 --> 00:07:36,220
We'll just have
to find another kid.
170
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:40,157
Oh, yeah.
And we will, we will.
171
00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:42,560
[CHUCKLES]
That's a great idea, Larry.
172
00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:45,963
No wonder
you're my commander in chief.
173
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,532
[♪]
174
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:57,641
Sam, how could you?
175
00:07:57,642 --> 00:08:00,511
How could you let Tabitha
do a thing like that?
176
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:03,348
Sweetheart,
you're not listening.
177
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,149
I didn't let her.
178
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:08,887
She just popped in by herself.
I can't watch her every second.
179
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,122
Sam, this is serious.
180
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,760
Tabitha can't keep on abusing
181
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,229
her powers of witchcraft
like this.
182
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:20,064
I... I know, sweetheart.
183
00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:23,100
I had a serious witch-to-witch
talk with her.
184
00:08:25,537 --> 00:08:28,439
And she realizes the full impact
of what she did
185
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,341
and promises never
to go TV-popping again.
186
00:08:31,342 --> 00:08:33,844
But if she's this undisciplined
as a child,
187
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:36,614
imagine what she'll be like
when she grows up.
188
00:08:37,849 --> 00:08:38,849
Darrin.
189
00:08:40,585 --> 00:08:42,220
I don't think
your right hand knows
190
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:43,621
what your left hand is doing.
191
00:08:45,223 --> 00:08:48,059
Either one of those drinks
is mine,
192
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,494
or you're going to be
the fastest drunk in the West.
193
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,463
Sorry, Sam.
194
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:57,835
[DOORBELL RINGS]
195
00:08:57,836 --> 00:08:58,869
I'll get it.
196
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,738
[♪]
197
00:09:08,646 --> 00:09:09,747
Hello, Darrin.
198
00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:12,550
Larry, what a surprise.
199
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:13,851
Uh, come on in.
200
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:15,787
You remember Lester Silverton,
201
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,589
president
of the Silverton Toy Company?
202
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:20,124
DARRIN:
Of course.
203
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,159
How are you,
Mr. Silverton?
204
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:28,066
The string, Darrin.
Pull the string.
205
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,834
Oh, of course.
206
00:09:30,835 --> 00:09:32,403
Forgive me, I forgot.
207
00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:37,174
Hello, Mr. Stephens,
nice to see you again.
208
00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,044
Likewise.
209
00:09:41,412 --> 00:09:43,981
Well...
210
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:45,783
what can I do for you?
211
00:09:45,784 --> 00:09:50,087
You can mix us two Scotch
and sodas in the living room.
212
00:09:50,088 --> 00:09:51,923
Oh, yes.
213
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,357
LARRY:
Darrin, you're going to flip
214
00:09:53,358 --> 00:09:56,894
when you hear the great idea
Mr. Silverton's come up with.
215
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:58,896
Well, hi, everybody.
216
00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:00,264
Hi, Samantha.
217
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:01,732
Mr. Silverton,
this is Samantha,
218
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:04,234
Darrin's charming
and lovely wife.
219
00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:06,503
[GIGGLING] Oh, Larry.
220
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:07,938
It's a pleasure.
221
00:10:10,675 --> 00:10:12,977
Pull the string, Sam.
222
00:10:12,978 --> 00:10:14,312
Of course.
223
00:10:16,548 --> 00:10:20,184
I like you.
I'd like to be your friend.
224
00:10:20,185 --> 00:10:22,820
[BOTH LAUGH]
225
00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:24,655
How cute.
226
00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:26,757
[LAUGHS]
227
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:30,561
Well, two Scotches
coming right up.
228
00:10:30,562 --> 00:10:32,897
Uh, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
229
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,699
Mr. Silverton.
230
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:39,971
Well, what's the great idea,
Mr. Silverton?
231
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,140
Well, it's an ingenious way
to find our little mystery girl.
232
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:44,676
Mystery girl?
233
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,311
Our TV mystery girl, who else?
234
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,847
DARRIN: I thought we were
going to get a replacement.
235
00:10:49,848 --> 00:10:52,550
I've set up interviews
for tomorrow for a new girl.
236
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:55,353
Don't be ridiculous.
That kid charmed this town.
237
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:59,190
She's a fantastic find
and we're going to find her.
238
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:00,724
I hope so.
239
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:05,096
Now, what we do
is run a campaign.
240
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:06,730
Who is this mystery girl
241
00:11:06,731 --> 00:11:09,633
who has captured the hearts
of people in television land?
242
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:11,501
Is she the little girl
next door?
243
00:11:11,502 --> 00:11:13,837
Is she your little girl?
244
00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:15,673
The publicity would be
tremendous.
245
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,076
Of course, the person
identifying the mystery girl
246
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,778
would receive
a substantial cash prize.
247
00:11:20,779 --> 00:11:22,713
How much?
248
00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:23,847
Sam.
249
00:11:23,848 --> 00:11:25,283
Well.
250
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,385
TABITHA:
Mommy, Daddy.
251
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,354
I want to say good night.
252
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:31,389
No. That's okay,
sweetheart,
253
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,124
you said good night
to us last night.
254
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,358
Hold it. Hold it.
255
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,662
That's her.
That's who?
256
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,898
The mystery girl on the show.
257
00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:41,999
Tabitha?
258
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,768
[BOTH LAUGH]
259
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,669
LARRY:
Impossible.
260
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:49,240
Uh, but, Larry,
if, uh... If Mr. Silverton
261
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,476
thinks that Tabitha
looks like the mystery girl,
262
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:55,545
at least you have
a clue to go on.
263
00:11:55,546 --> 00:11:59,283
She not only looks like the kid,
she is the kid.
264
00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:02,954
Oh, I'm afraid, Mr. Silverton,
that, uh, you're mistaken.
265
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,589
Stephens, not only
do I never make mistakes,
266
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:08,025
but when I do,
nobody points them out to me.
267
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,493
I hope I make myself clear.
268
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:11,262
Perfectly. Right, Darrin?
269
00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:17,601
Well, I guess that's
the shortest contest in history.
270
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:18,936
[CHUCKLES]
271
00:12:18,937 --> 00:12:21,238
Go to bed, Tabitha.
I'll come up and tuck you...
272
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:23,274
SILVERTON:
Now, just a minute.
273
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,943
I'd like to ask
the little girl a question.
274
00:12:28,146 --> 00:12:31,615
How would you like to be
the star of my TV show?
275
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:37,654
I'd love it. Can I, Mommy?
Can I, Daddy? Can I be a star?
276
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:40,824
We'll talk about that later.
Now you go on up to bed.
277
00:12:40,825 --> 00:12:42,426
LARRY:
Night, Tabitha.
278
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:46,430
Stephens, how come
the big secret?
279
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,265
Yes, we'd like an explanation,
280
00:12:48,266 --> 00:12:49,766
and it better be a good one.
281
00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,235
Hopefully, a great one.
282
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,372
[CLEARS THROAT] Well,
283
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:56,207
uh, will you buy the fact
284
00:12:56,208 --> 00:13:00,244
that, uh, I got the idea
to use a little girl on the show
285
00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:01,712
at the last minute,
286
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:06,017
so it was too late
to hire an actress
287
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:08,319
s... So I used Tabitha?
288
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:11,989
Well, that certainly
sounds reasonable.
289
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,157
Just one thing, Tate.
290
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:14,992
You know
I'm against hiring relatives.
291
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:17,562
Well, I'm dead set
against nepotism, myself.
292
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,996
Why, even my own daughter
293
00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:21,532
who happens to be
a very fine little actress
294
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,868
never has worked on my TV show.
295
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,703
I guess that settles it.
296
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:27,905
Right. Darrin,
I'll join you tomorrow
297
00:13:27,906 --> 00:13:30,707
at the interviews
for Tabitha's replacement.
298
00:13:30,708 --> 00:13:32,877
I don't think
that'll be necessary, Tate.
299
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,912
LARRY:
You don't?
300
00:13:34,913 --> 00:13:36,714
No, Tabitha stays on the show.
301
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,550
B... But what about
your attitude toward nepotism?
302
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,952
Stephens, I think you'll find
my attitude toward nepotism
303
00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:44,588
is not as strong
as my attitude toward profit.
304
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:49,993
The audience reaction
to your daughter spells profit.
305
00:13:49,994 --> 00:13:52,562
Replacing her might spell loss.
306
00:13:52,563 --> 00:13:53,830
Right.
307
00:13:53,831 --> 00:13:55,599
Darrin, I want
Tabitha on that set
308
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,067
first thing tomorrow morning.
309
00:13:57,068 --> 00:13:58,702
Do I make myself understood?
310
00:13:58,703 --> 00:14:00,371
Perfectly.
311
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,939
Ha-ha!
312
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:06,110
Well, I guess there's
no business like show business,
313
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,344
is there?
314
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:09,747
[CHUCKLES]
315
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:11,048
[LAUGHING] Cheers.
316
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:12,483
[♪]
317
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:18,188
[♪]
318
00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:20,290
You haven't touched your eggs.
319
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,925
My stomach can't get used
to the idea
320
00:14:21,926 --> 00:14:23,127
that Larry talked us into
321
00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:25,695
letting Tabitha
appear on that TV show.
322
00:14:25,696 --> 00:14:27,697
Well, don't you worry,
sweetheart.
323
00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:29,866
I guarantee you
that Tabitha's star
324
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:34,071
will be eclipsed the day
she starts, which is today.
325
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:36,740
Um, question: How?
326
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:41,111
Well, uh, witchcraft
got you into this mess
327
00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:43,180
so witchcraft can
get you out of it.
328
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:45,182
Uh, question.
329
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:48,386
How?
330
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,654
Answer.
331
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,623
I'm waiting, Sam.
332
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:57,428
Darrin, why don't you
go to the office,
333
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:58,963
and I'll phone the answer in?
334
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,065
Question.
335
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:03,868
When?
336
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:09,473
Just as soon as I think of it.
337
00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:13,010
[♪]
338
00:15:19,284 --> 00:15:21,251
[CHANTS] Witchcraft's
done the dirty deed.
339
00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:23,354
Reverse it now
with all due speed.
340
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,990
Gossamer wings
The words pell-mell.
341
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:28,959
Whisk me to where
The Silvertons dwell
342
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,127
[MAGICAL CHIMES]
343
00:15:32,897 --> 00:15:35,899
Time for another
cup of coffee, dear?
344
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:37,267
[MAGICAL CHIME]
345
00:15:37,268 --> 00:15:39,470
Sorry, dear, but I've got
to get to the studio early.
346
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,271
The Stephens girl
is starting today.
347
00:15:41,272 --> 00:15:43,240
I want to see
that everything goes smoothly.
348
00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:44,908
Is she any good?
Good?
349
00:15:44,909 --> 00:15:46,710
Helen, she was great.
350
00:15:46,711 --> 00:15:49,046
She was so natural and innocent
with those puppets,
351
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:50,247
she gave you the feeling
352
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,649
that she was actually talking
to real people.
353
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:56,653
But Robin has a natural and
innocent quality too, Lester.
354
00:15:56,654 --> 00:15:58,822
I think you ought
to reconsider and...
355
00:15:58,823 --> 00:16:00,257
Not a chance, Helen.
356
00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:01,558
Robin's a fine little actress,
357
00:16:01,559 --> 00:16:03,927
but you know how I feel
about hiring relatives.
358
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,029
It looks bad.
359
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:08,532
Well, I gotta get a move on.
360
00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:10,901
Have a good time at the museum.
361
00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:13,537
So long.
Goodbye, Lest.
362
00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:17,842
Have a good time today,
honey. Bye.
363
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:19,209
Bye-bye, Daddy.
364
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:22,246
Mommy, after the museum,
can we go to the movies?
365
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:25,750
Of course, dear.
We'll do anything you want to.
366
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:29,787
We'll go to the museum,
to the movies, to the zoo.
367
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,255
But if we're gonna
do everything,
368
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,623
we're gonna have to get started.
369
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,792
I don't like to be
late getting to the...
370
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,697
I don't like to be late
getting to the studio.
371
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,365
The studio?
372
00:16:41,366 --> 00:16:43,934
We're not going to the studio,
we're going to the museum.
373
00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:45,936
No, dear,
we're going to the studio.
374
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:47,171
Why?
375
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:51,808
Why? Oh, Robin,
don't ask such silly questions.
376
00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:53,943
Why? I...
377
00:16:53,944 --> 00:16:56,446
I don't know why.
378
00:16:56,447 --> 00:16:57,947
But we're going.
379
00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:01,151
[MAGICAL CHIME]
380
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:04,955
DIRECTOR: All right, troops.
All right, hold it.
381
00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:06,590
Run through in 30 seconds.
382
00:17:06,591 --> 00:17:08,459
Watch that.
Lights, lights, lights.
383
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,827
Attaboy. Good. Let's get
this puppet show on the road.
384
00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:13,130
Where's Bill?
Steamboat Bill, where...?
385
00:17:13,131 --> 00:17:15,366
Here I am.
Always when I don't need you.
386
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,868
I wanna go through the opening.
I want you high, baby, high.
387
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:19,803
Not down. Watch it.
388
00:17:19,804 --> 00:17:22,639
Now, when Punch hits Judy
for the third time,
389
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,207
you say, "Punch..."
390
00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:26,643
Why do I have to wait
for the third time?
391
00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:28,379
He could have hurt her by then.
392
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,482
Don't worry, puppets are built
to take a lot of punishment.
393
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:34,585
Now, pay attention. You say...
394
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:36,286
All right, you got it?
I got it.
395
00:17:36,287 --> 00:17:37,754
I've been doing this
for 10 years.
396
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:38,822
Too long.
397
00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:40,524
Okay, everybody, get with it.
398
00:17:40,525 --> 00:17:43,026
Places, please.
Oh, where's my star?
399
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:45,195
Where's my little star?
400
00:17:45,196 --> 00:17:47,030
Right here. Here I am.
401
00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:49,266
Now, during this picnic scene,
Punch hits Judy.
402
00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:50,734
Then I want you to say,
403
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:53,970
"Punch, I think deep down,
you don't like little girls."
404
00:17:53,971 --> 00:17:56,273
Now, have you got that?
Look, no combing, no time.
405
00:17:56,274 --> 00:17:57,708
Right over here.
406
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:01,145
Up on Camera 2.
407
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,447
DIRECTOR:
And action.
408
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:04,848
JUDY:
He took my chicken leg.
409
00:18:04,849 --> 00:18:06,717
He took my chicken leg.
410
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:10,153
Punch, deep down,
I think you don't like girls.
411
00:18:10,154 --> 00:18:13,624
Oh, I do, I do.
But I like chicken legs more.
412
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:14,625
Ow!
413
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:18,362
You're getting
into very bad habits.
414
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:19,563
When you're older,
415
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:22,132
you'll realize
that girls have feelings too.
416
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,535
JUDY:
Can't he realize that now?
417
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:27,003
How many more years
of abuse must I take?
418
00:18:27,004 --> 00:18:28,938
Pick a number from one to 10.
419
00:18:28,939 --> 00:18:30,440
Ow!
420
00:18:30,441 --> 00:18:34,612
That settles it. Judy, I'm gonna
find you another boyfriend.
421
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,680
PUNCH: You are?
JUDY: Would you, Tabitha?
422
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:39,950
Would you? One that doesn't
hit quite so hard?
423
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:42,887
You know, Judy,
not all boys hit girls.
424
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,589
They don't?
They don't?
425
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:48,025
Ha! They don't know
all the fun they missed.
426
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:49,326
JUDY:
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
427
00:18:49,327 --> 00:18:50,527
Okay, okay.
428
00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:52,029
DIRECTOR:
Cut. That was very good.
429
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,297
Let's take a break.
430
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,818
Tabitha, dear,
I'll be right out.
431
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:02,006
All right, Tabitha,
let's try on this other dress.
432
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,575
Mommy, when do I get time
to play a little bit?
433
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,877
Not for a while, sweetheart.
434
00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:09,213
Being a star
requires a lot of work.
435
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,915
But the director said
I could take a break.
436
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:15,151
Well, taking a break
doesn't mean you can play.
437
00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:17,688
It just means getting ready
for the next scene.
438
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:20,190
Okay, Tabitha, I have some
line changes for you.
439
00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:23,393
Here on page 24. Now, this is
where we do the history lesson.
440
00:19:23,394 --> 00:19:26,162
Let me touch up her makeup.
Let me smooth out her hair.
441
00:19:26,163 --> 00:19:28,298
Look, would you leave
my little star alone?
442
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:31,201
WOMAN: If I don't fit this dress,
it won't be ready for airtime.
443
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:32,736
Don't smudge her makeup.
444
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,703
WOMAN:
Watch her hair.
445
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,839
DIRECTOR:
Would you all be quiet
446
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,974
while I go through these lines?
447
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,842
Now, Tabitha,
pay attention, darling.
448
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:40,610
What we're going to do
is tell the...
449
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:42,112
What are you...?
450
00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:45,248
Tell the story
of G... George Washington.
451
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:49,086
George Washington
was a great American statesman,
452
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,087
and he stood on the banks
of the Potomac River...
453
00:19:51,088 --> 00:19:52,989
Okay, Tabitha, darling.
That should do it.
454
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:55,091
Okay, crew.
On stage in 10 seconds.
455
00:19:55,092 --> 00:19:58,262
Oh, go see if Punch and Judy
need anything.
456
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:01,265
Mommy, I don't think
I like being a star.
457
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,534
Well, you'll get used to it.
458
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,136
You mean I'm going to
have to do this forever?
459
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:11,207
No. Not if you don't want to.
460
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:13,711
Would you rather
go to the zoo this afternoon?
461
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,279
I sure would.
462
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,848
Well, you're in luck.
I have an idea.
463
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,549
Now, listen,
464
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,986
Tabitha,
all you have to do is forget
465
00:20:22,987 --> 00:20:24,321
the name
of the president that threw
466
00:20:24,322 --> 00:20:25,989
whatever it was over...
467
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,291
All right, now, Tabitha,
we're going to do the scene
468
00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:30,761
where you give Punch and Judy
a history lesson.
469
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:31,862
Hi.
470
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,564
Let's try it, huh?
471
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,666
Tabitha,
start with George Washington
472
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,434
and the silver dollar, right?
473
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:39,469
Up on Camera 2.
474
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,472
Attaboy. Action.
475
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:46,176
The story goes
that George Washington threw a...
476
00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:47,411
Uh, threw a...
477
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:50,347
I just told you, Tabitha,
a silver dollar.
478
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:51,915
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
479
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:53,917
Sorry, Punch.
Sorry, Judy.
480
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:58,021
The story goes that George
Washington threw a silver dollar
481
00:20:58,022 --> 00:21:01,525
across the... river.
482
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:04,161
Now, look,
that's the Potomac River.
483
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,596
Now, what is the matter
with you, Tabitha?
484
00:21:06,597 --> 00:21:08,098
TABITHA:
I'm sorry, Mr. Director,
485
00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:10,567
but I can't remember my lines.
486
00:21:11,936 --> 00:21:15,105
Don't worry. Just keep going.
You'll remember.
487
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:17,174
TABITHA:
But I'm tired.
488
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:20,844
Tabitha, my dear, you are a
star, and the show must go on.
489
00:21:20,845 --> 00:21:22,879
Now, let's take it from the top.
490
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,148
I'm tired.
I wanna go home.
491
00:21:25,149 --> 00:21:26,850
Me too.
492
00:21:29,286 --> 00:21:31,254
But she can't go home.
Right.
493
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:32,856
She has a job to do.
Yes.
494
00:21:32,857 --> 00:21:33,924
What kind of a pro is she?
495
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:35,792
SAMANTHA:
Well, she's not a pro.
496
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:37,060
She's a little girl.
497
00:21:37,061 --> 00:21:39,963
If you wanted a pro,
you should hire an actress.
498
00:21:39,964 --> 00:21:43,100
I have an idea.
What about Robin?
499
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:44,702
Well, Robin is my daughter
500
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,738
and you know how I feel
about hiring relatives.
501
00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:50,941
Mr. Silverton, may I remind you
that Tabitha is my daughter...
502
00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,543
And when I need to be reminded
of something, I'll ask you.
503
00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:55,312
Anyway, Robin isn't here.
504
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:56,413
All right, troops,
505
00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:58,882
take a five
while we straighten this out.
506
00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:00,884
Get your cameras.
507
00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:05,989
Robin. Helen.
What are you doing here?
508
00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:09,026
Well, I...
I really don't know.
509
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:10,928
[MAGICAL CHIME]
510
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,802
Well, Robin,
as long as you're here,
511
00:22:18,803 --> 00:22:20,336
I'd like to ask you a question.
512
00:22:20,337 --> 00:22:21,571
Yes, Daddy.
513
00:22:21,572 --> 00:22:24,052
How would you like
to be on Daddy's show?
514
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:29,012
But you said I could never
be on any of your shows.
515
00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:30,680
SILVERTON:
I just asked you a question.
516
00:22:30,681 --> 00:22:32,716
Yes or no?
517
00:22:32,717 --> 00:22:34,084
I'd love it, Dad.
518
00:22:34,085 --> 00:22:35,519
SILVERTON:
All right, sweetheart.
519
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,087
Let's go onstage
and we'll get you ready.
520
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:43,460
Maybe someday you'd like
to explain this to me.
521
00:22:43,461 --> 00:22:45,762
Uh, Larry, uh,
you'd never believe it.
522
00:22:45,763 --> 00:22:47,063
Try me.
523
00:22:47,064 --> 00:22:48,832
Well, first let's
tell the director
524
00:22:48,833 --> 00:22:51,034
he's got a new little star.
525
00:22:51,035 --> 00:22:52,715
Mrs. Silverton.
Mrs. Silverton.
526
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:56,372
Hi. I'm Samantha Stephens.
527
00:22:56,373 --> 00:22:58,608
How do you do?
I'm Helen Silverton.
528
00:22:58,609 --> 00:23:00,310
Yes, it's nice to meet you.
529
00:23:00,311 --> 00:23:03,346
I'm so glad Robin got the job.
I'm sure she'll be just great.
530
00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:05,348
Oh, aren't you going to stay
and watch the show?
531
00:23:05,349 --> 00:23:06,583
I'm afraid I can't.
532
00:23:06,584 --> 00:23:08,785
I'm gonna spend the rest
of the day with Tabitha.
533
00:23:08,786 --> 00:23:10,746
I think
I'll take her to the zoo.
534
00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:14,792
And then maybe
we'll go to the museum.
535
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:18,328
And after the museum,
maybe we'll go to the movies.
536
00:23:27,972 --> 00:23:29,339
[♪]
537
00:23:32,376 --> 00:23:34,110
[♪]
538
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:37,981
Sam?
539
00:23:37,982 --> 00:23:39,049
Hm?
540
00:23:40,284 --> 00:23:42,852
Do you know what makes
being married to a witch
541
00:23:42,853 --> 00:23:45,455
so wonderful?
542
00:23:45,456 --> 00:23:46,623
What?
543
00:23:48,125 --> 00:23:50,994
Well, for example,
take a day like this.
544
00:23:50,995 --> 00:23:54,130
It's like getting hit over
the head with a hammer.
545
00:23:54,131 --> 00:23:56,700
If feels so good when it stops.
546
00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:02,505
I am going to pretend
you meant that as a compliment.
547
00:24:02,506 --> 00:24:04,207
TABITHA:
Mommy, Daddy, is it all right
548
00:24:04,208 --> 00:24:06,443
if I say good night tonight?
549
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:08,611
Of course, sweetheart.
550
00:24:08,612 --> 00:24:12,515
Good night and sweet dreams.
551
00:24:12,516 --> 00:24:13,851
Good night, Daddy.
552
00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:14,818
Good night, dear.
553
00:24:14,819 --> 00:24:17,453
Daddy, was Robin good
on the show today?
554
00:24:17,454 --> 00:24:18,989
DARRIN:
She was pretty good.
555
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:22,158
She got Punch
to stop hitting Judy so much.
556
00:24:22,159 --> 00:24:23,893
I bet you if I were on the show,
557
00:24:23,894 --> 00:24:26,395
I could get Punch never
to hit Judy again.
558
00:24:26,396 --> 00:24:29,500
There's too much hitting on TV.
559
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:31,467
Sweetheart, you're just going
to have to let Robin
560
00:24:31,468 --> 00:24:33,269
handle the campaign
on nonviolence.
561
00:24:33,270 --> 00:24:34,470
But there's a little hitting
562
00:24:34,471 --> 00:24:36,372
that you can
take care of yourself.
563
00:24:36,373 --> 00:24:37,774
What's that, Mommy?
564
00:24:37,775 --> 00:24:41,110
I want you to hit the sack.
Immediately.
565
00:24:44,782 --> 00:24:48,785
Speaking of nonviolence,
where were we?
566
00:24:48,786 --> 00:24:52,356
Oh, yes. Just about here.
567
00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:53,623
[♪]
568
00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:58,328
[♪]