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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Now you're looking at a man
that's getting kinda mad ♪
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♪ I had lots of luck
but it's all been bad ♪
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♪ no matter how
I struggle and strive ♪
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♪ I'll never get out
of this world alive ♪
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♪ my fishing pole's broke,
the creek is full of sand ♪
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♪ my woman ran away with another man ♪
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♪ no matter how
I struggle and strive ♪
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♪ I'll never get out
of this world alive. ♪
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Okay. Uh, everyone, let's
lower the music for a minute.
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I-- I wanna say
a few words
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- about my dear friend Amy.
- All: Oh.
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As a lot of you know here,
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I lost my real sister
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at a very early age, but
Amy has always helped me
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fill that void with her support
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and friendship.
( Chokes )
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I just love her so much
and I want her to know--
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- ( loud clang )
- Aw, fuck me!
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- Julie: Wh-what?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Continue.
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- Are you okay?
- I-I was reaching for the lasagna tray.
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- I burned myself.
- You're reaching for lasagna
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in the middle of my speech
to your girlfriend?
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I can listen to you and-- and reach
for lasagna at the same time.
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- Okay. Well, what was I saying?
- What were you saying?
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- Uh-huh. What was I saying?
- Talking about how y-your--
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- Your mom died.
- Mm-hmm. That's wrong.
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Your dad died or your dad was killed.
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Oh my God. Amy, I just wanted to say
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Happy Birthday and I
love you like a sister
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and every night I get on my knees
and I look up to the heavens
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and pray to God that you find
some other man other than Tim.
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- Cheers!
- All: Cheers!
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That's one of the worst
toasts I've ever heard.
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- ( Sighs )
- I'm not in the wrong, am I?
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No. You needed
to eat lasagna
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when the opportunity
struck and it struck.
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Hey, guys, I saw what happened over
there and I rushed here to the scene.
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- I'm so glad I'm here. I'm a doctor.
- Oh, you wanna take a look?
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Well, in my professional opinion,
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you definitely wanna get
an ice pack on that.
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'cause this guy could maybe
prescribe you some Vicodin.
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- Oh, actually I can't.
- Some drugs?
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- Some drugs?
- I can't do that. I don't write prescriptions.
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I'm a chiropractor, so I
can't write prescriptions.
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- Oh, you said you were a doctor.
- I am a doctor.
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- I'm a doctor of chiropractic.
- Stu: Mmm.
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- Eh.
- I'm confused here.
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Do you not think that I'm a doctor?
I am a doctor.
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My license plate says
doctor-- d-o-k-t-e-r.
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Please don't take any offense.
I'm just saying-- I mean,
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Bill Cosby was a doctor.
He doesn't-- if someone was hurt,
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he wouldn't run up
and say, "I'm a doctor."
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He'd say, "Everyone remember me"
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from 'The Cosby Show'
and 'Fat Albert'?"
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Are you comparing my job to a
fictitious doctor on a TV sitcom?
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I'm just saying on the
spectrum of neurosurgeon here
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- and masseuse here...
- Please don't finish your sentence.
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...you're in
the masseuse quadrant.
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Well, I guess if we're gonna
have this conversation,
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on the spectrum between super nice guy
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that I'd like to be friends with
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- and total dick/asshole...
- Don't say it.
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...You are
a total dick/asshole.
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He is a doctor of comebacks.
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- ( Thuds )
- Oh, the pain.
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Oh, the finger.
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I feel like I'm not getting
a lot of attention
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- for this wound.
- Yeah. You know why?
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- 'Cause you really offended that guy.
- The chiropractor?
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- Yeah.
- Who cares? We don't even know the guy.
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- Let it--
- Yes, we do. It's Julie's boyfriend.
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That actually makes sense.
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- And you completely offended him.
- They belong--
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They belong together. Why does he have
to get his neck all out of joint?
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- Really?
- I said "Why does he have to get his neck out of joint?"
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How long have you been
waiting to say that?
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I rushed the delivery, didn't I?
What do you want me to do?
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You need to make an
appointment and apologize.
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I'm not big
on in-person apologies.
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- You know what? I'm just gonna take care of this myself.
- I like that plan.
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You go make amends and I'm
gonna make a quesadilla.
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- ( Boss knocks ) Tim?
- Hey, "El bosso loco."
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( Snickers ) I don't know.
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I wanna be mad at that, but I like it.
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Um, "El bosso loco" --
I like that.
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Listen, um, you're a white guy right?
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- Like, you're a white person?
- Oh, Caucasian, yeah.
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- You're Cau-- Caucasian. Your parents were both white.
- Yeah. Yeah.
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- And their parents were white.
- Might have been one--
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- one Chinese guy in the mix.
- Ah, that's what I didn't--
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- Going pretty far back though.
- Okay. What, like maybe a railroad worker? What?
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- I'm-- I'm white.
- Okay. Good.
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- Why do you ask?
- Oh, just curious.
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But, on a side note,
do you play poker?
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Or would you like to play
poker tonight with me?
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Uh, I'm a little--
got a lot of work going on.
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Wait wait wait, before you say no,
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- let me set this up a little better.
- Yeah.
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This is an exclusive table with a-list
celebrities, hall of fame athletes...
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- Really?
- ...Prominent business leaders. I mean, this is--
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- Oh my God.
- This is the creme de la creme of poke-aire.
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Well, who's playing?
Who's in? Who's coming?
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- I can't tell you.
- You can't tell me who?
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Let's just say
at least one of the players
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has a candy bar named after him.
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If it's the Charleston chew guy,
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I'm gonna shit my pants.
Is it based on a guy?
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- What are you talking about? The Charleston--
- Is that based on a person?
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- I don't know. Maybe.
- All right. Who-- whoever it is,
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- it sounds amazing. I'm in. Count me in.
- Good.
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Nice. This is great. I'm flattered
that you look at me in this light,
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- that I'm part of that kind of--
- Are you kidding?
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This is the ultimate power group
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plus you:
The token white guy.
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- Oh.
- Bang.
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Amy: Okay, so where--
what's-- what is this?
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I can't-- I can't share any more.
I've already said too much!
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You haven't told me anything.
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I've been invited to a very secret
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"men's club" if you will.
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It sounds so lame.
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- It doesn't sound lame. You sound jealous.
- I am definitely--
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You sound incredibly
jealous of where I'm going.
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- I am definitely not jealous.
- Oh my God, what did you call for?
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I know how we're gonna make
this thing up to Matt.
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- We're still on the Matt thing?
- Yes.
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- So he throws this fundraiser dinner.
- Sounds terrible.
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And you and I are going.
Okay, love you. ( Hangs up )
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Okay, I never really agreed,
but sounds like you've hung up.
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Hey, you look like a fashionable guy.
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What do you think of the hat?
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I have to admit, guys,
I'm a little starstruck--
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Tim Meadows, Reggie
Jackson and Colin Powell
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- all at the same table with Tim.
- What about me?
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- Oh, who are you again?
- I'm Al Sharpton's college roommate.
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Oh that's right, Al
Sharpton's college roommate.
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Mm-hmm.
And show a little respect.
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If I may interject, it
seems it would be easier
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to respect you
if you introduced--
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I mean, you're your own man.
Am I right?
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Yes, I am.
That's right.
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- So, full house.
- ( All groan )
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Shit, man, I cannot
catch a break tonight!
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- Boss: Me neither.
- This new guy is bad luck.
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Me? No, I'm
fitting in well.
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Are you? You suck my dick,
you'd fit in even better.
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- Oh boy.
- Suck your dick? Oh my God.
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Yeah, he's not very funny
at card games, Tim.
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- Not at all.
- Yeah, he tends to lose.
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Can I ask one question?
Why do we need this token white guy here?
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- What are we trying to prove?
- That we're diverse.
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Shuffle up and deal, reg.
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- Bleh. Bleh.
- You all right?
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- These Reggie bars are disgusting.
- Oh Jesus, I know.
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They've been in my freezer
since November '82.
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- Why are we eating them?
- Well, you invite Reggie Jackson,
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00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,748
you have to consume anything
with his name on it.
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- This scotch is disgusting also.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:07:33,051 --> 00:07:34,585
This is Reggie brand scotch, isn't it?
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Boss:
It's called reg-otch.
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That's the thing
that really bothers me.
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Yo, Tim, can you, uh, take a rain
check on that money I owe you?
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Rain check?
That's a lot of money.
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It's $1,000. Come on, don't be a pussy.
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Come on, don't be a pussy.
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All right, you owe me the money.
Fair enough.
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- All right. Cool.
- Yeah. What are you up to, by the way?
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Uh, I'm up to a lot
actually, you know.
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- I'm up for this one role.
- Yeah?
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Could open some huge doors
for my film career.
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- That's good.
- Not really. It's between me and Don Cheadle...
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- Oh.
- ...And the director thinks I'm too soft.
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- Yeah, you gotta be yourself, you know?
- No, you-- no, I don't.
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- You don't?
- I'm adopting a new persona
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00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:10,287
to try and get to the role, you know?
I'm gonna be more edgy.
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- Edgy Tim Meadows?
- Exactly.
180
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- How's that working out?
- It's going okay.
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I mean, I started punching
out photographers.
182
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- Paparazzi come around, I'll deck 'em.
- Yeah!
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00:08:18,864 --> 00:08:20,765
That's good-- getting
the press, get some--
184
00:08:20,799 --> 00:08:23,134
- Yeah, man, that's how they do it, you know?
- Sean Penn style.
185
00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:27,305
It's either that or making a porno tape, yo.
And I already did that.
186
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:29,273
- Did you do that?
- There's a Tim Meadows porno?
187
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:32,143
- Mm, yeah.
- Learning a lot here.
188
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So he just canceled?
189
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:40,484
So what's Matt gonna do,
postpone the event?
190
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:44,022
- What's going on there?
- Well, Matt needs a new emcee for the event.
191
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:48,093
The guy canceled. Does anyone at
Omnicorp maybe have connections?
192
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I might.
193
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,063
- What do you mean?
- I may not have mentioned this,
194
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,566
but I'm pretty tight with Tim Meadows,
195
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,336
Reggie Jackson and Al
Sharpton's college roommate.
196
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,303
( Chuckles ) What?!
197
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,439
- Don't ask me how.
- Hold on.
198
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:05,277
Okay, so Tim is saying he's friends
with Tim Meadows and Reggie Jackson.
199
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,979
- Um, Julie says, "Bullshit."
- Julie says, "Bullshit."
200
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,814
Let me make some calls.
Let me make some calls.
201
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,449
If I come through, everyone will say,
202
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,585
"Wow, Tim, you're an amazing dude.
You saved the day
203
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,087
- and I'll never say anything negative again."
- Okay,
204
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,490
Julie still says bullshit,
but that would be awesome
205
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,025
if you would put in a call.
206
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,695
( Buzzes )
207
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:26,132
Hello. Uh, this is Tim Meadows' butler.
May I help you?
208
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,568
- Tim.
- Yes? I mean--
209
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,670
Tim, I know it's you and I
know you don't have a butler.
210
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,205
All right, fine.
Who is this?
211
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,274
- It's that guy from the card game.
- ( Dog whimpers )
212
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:37,377
- It's not cool showing up at my place, man.
- You don't answer your phone.
213
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,345
- I'm busy.
- What are you doing?
214
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:42,415
- I'm writing... letters.
- You're writing letters?
215
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:45,018
- Of course.
- Listen, I got a job offer you could--
216
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:48,053
Wait, job offer? You gonna
offer Tim Meadows a job?
217
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,189
Tim's gonna offer Tim Meadows a job.
218
00:09:50,224 --> 00:09:52,358
Uh, I hate the sound of that.
219
00:09:52,393 --> 00:09:54,628
You could emcee this charity dinner.
220
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:57,998
- We'll forget the debt.
- Fine, I'll do it.
221
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,900
- Send me the details.
- That's great.
222
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:01,969
- Send them to my butler.
- That's great.
223
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,671
- I'm glad it worked out.
- Yeah, me too.
224
00:10:03,705 --> 00:10:06,941
I'm glad it worked out.
Now get the fuck off my porch!
225
00:10:06,976 --> 00:10:08,676
- I'm sorry.
- Where'd that come from?
226
00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:12,147
My agent wants me to keep it
edgy, so I'm just trying to--
227
00:10:12,181 --> 00:10:16,652
Fucking bitch, man. I'm sorry.
This is really not me.
228
00:10:16,686 --> 00:10:19,688
It's not edgy if you keep
apologizing when you curse.
229
00:10:19,722 --> 00:10:22,391
Tim, it's almost 8:00.
230
00:10:22,425 --> 00:10:24,092
Are you sure he's gonna show?
231
00:10:24,127 --> 00:10:25,961
I'm pretty sure.
He said he was gonna be here.
232
00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:28,463
- What do you mean "pretty sure"?
- He told me.
233
00:10:28,498 --> 00:10:30,465
He told you personally?
He looked you in the face
234
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,267
and said, "Tim, yes, I'll be there"?
235
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:33,702
I'm not big on making eye contact.
236
00:10:33,737 --> 00:10:36,204
- What does that mean?
- He told me through his intercom.
237
00:10:36,239 --> 00:10:38,506
- What the hell does that mean?!
- What do you mean--
238
00:10:38,541 --> 00:10:40,175
Matt: Anything over--
that doesn't count.
239
00:10:40,209 --> 00:10:42,510
I didn't ask him to sign a document.
He said "I'll be there."
240
00:10:42,545 --> 00:10:44,446
People say stuff over
intercoms all the time.
241
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,314
"Yeah, I'm gonna buzz you in" and
then they don't buzz you in.
242
00:10:46,349 --> 00:10:48,784
- No, the intercom is a socially binding agreement.
- ( Vehicle approaching )
243
00:10:48,818 --> 00:10:51,020
- No, it is not!
- Oh my God, he's here.
244
00:10:51,054 --> 00:10:52,989
- Oh my God.
- Wow!
245
00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:55,825
- Matt: Oh my God!
- Tim: Uh-oh.
246
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:59,929
- That's Tim fucking Meadows.
- Wait. Tim--
247
00:10:59,964 --> 00:11:01,231
- I'm speechless.
- Oh my God!
248
00:11:01,265 --> 00:11:02,800
- Who's the hero now?
- Look at him.
249
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,568
Look how good his skin looks.
250
00:11:04,603 --> 00:11:07,104
- Tim: This is a happy ending, right?
- Can I just say
251
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:10,908
on the spectrum
between total dick/asshole
252
00:11:10,942 --> 00:11:13,377
and best dude in the world,
253
00:11:13,412 --> 00:11:15,179
you're closer
to best dude in the world?
254
00:11:15,213 --> 00:11:19,317
That's the nicest spectrum
analogy anyone's ever given me.
255
00:11:23,456 --> 00:11:24,856
Matt:
Ladies and gentlemen,
256
00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:26,958
thank you so much
for coming out tonight.
257
00:11:26,993 --> 00:11:30,629
Your support means so very
much to kids around the globe
258
00:11:30,663 --> 00:11:33,899
who don't have access
to chiropractic care
259
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:37,970
and as a result they often have a
neck pain or minor joint stiffness,
260
00:11:38,005 --> 00:11:40,505
which-- that can
be stressful for them.
261
00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:43,508
So without further ado,
from "Saturday Night Live,"
262
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:45,243
please welcome
Mr. Tim Meadows!
263
00:11:45,278 --> 00:11:47,646
Man:
Yeah, all right!
264
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,381
Thank you, guys.
265
00:11:49,415 --> 00:11:52,718
Wow, chiropractors without
borders-- what charity!
266
00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:54,186
I can picture you guys showing up
267
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:55,921
and these poor kids
in the Congo are like,
268
00:11:55,955 --> 00:11:59,057
"Clean water and food
for sustenance? No, thanks.
269
00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:02,528
"Check the alignment of my
back, bitches!" ( Laughs )
270
00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:05,798
Yeah, I know that's what it's like.
How you doing?
271
00:12:05,832 --> 00:12:07,867
But I kid.
Seriously, you know,
272
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:11,604
chiropractors without borders are
doing-- you're doing God's work,
273
00:12:11,638 --> 00:12:15,241
assuming that God is
a smug self-serving asshole.
274
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:18,579
Bam! Take it like this,
like this, like this!
275
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,048
Yeah yeah, I've been drinking a little bit.
I'm doing good though!
276
00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:23,384
- Did you put him up to this?
- Put him up?
277
00:12:23,418 --> 00:12:25,020
Are you trying to make me look bad?
278
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:27,188
No, I think he's just trying
some edgier material.
279
00:12:27,223 --> 00:12:29,725
- Is that too edgy? The cursing and the mocking?
- Yes!
280
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:32,327
Yes, it's way too edgy.
I gotta stop this.
281
00:12:32,361 --> 00:12:34,529
- Tim, I'm sorry. Tim?
- Excuse me. What the fuck?
282
00:12:34,563 --> 00:12:36,030
- Paparazzi!
- ( Grunts )
283
00:12:36,064 --> 00:12:39,100
- ( Guests gasp )
- ( Matt groaning )
284
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,802
That's how I roll--
hard. I'm hardcore.
285
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:45,205
Feel free to report this to T.M.Z.
or any other website, you know?
286
00:12:45,239 --> 00:12:47,940
- You motherfuckers have been the best audience ever.
- ( Shutter clicks )
287
00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:49,875
- Good night, everybody.
- ( Feedback )
288
00:12:49,909 --> 00:12:52,345
I'm sorry.
289
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:54,914
I agree that was too edgy.
That part was too edgy.
290
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,183
I need medical attention.
291
00:12:57,217 --> 00:12:59,952
Should someone call a doctor?
292
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,354
You son of a bitch.
293
00:13:01,388 --> 00:13:02,988
Is there a chiropractor in the house?
294
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:06,458
Bad time for that joke?
295
00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:10,196
♪ No matter how
I struggle and strive ♪
296
00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:15,067
♪ I'll never get out
of this world alive. ♪
297
00:13:16,236 --> 00:13:17,903
These cinnamon buns are ridiculous.
298
00:13:17,938 --> 00:13:20,072
Oh my God, these are sick.
299
00:13:20,107 --> 00:13:23,409
Helen, so good!
300
00:13:23,443 --> 00:13:26,979
( Chuckles ) Oh, come on,
they're just my cinnamon buns.
301
00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:28,681
Holy shit, are these good!
302
00:13:28,715 --> 00:13:32,185
( Boss shouting ) Marie, you get
your bony white ass in my office!
303
00:13:32,219 --> 00:13:34,721
- Now!
- That doesn't sound good at all.
304
00:13:34,755 --> 00:13:37,223
- ( Shouting continues )
- Yeah, when he says bonny white ass,
305
00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:38,958
- that's never a good thing.
- Boss: I want them out!
306
00:13:38,993 --> 00:13:40,260
- Out of the building!
- Marie: Out of the building?
307
00:13:40,294 --> 00:13:42,295
- Boss: Out of the building!
- Marie: Yes, sir.
308
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:43,797
Rodney, get me the intercom.
309
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:48,234
Attention, everyone.
310
00:13:48,269 --> 00:13:50,670
We need all
low-level personnel
311
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,807
to go home for a few hours now.
312
00:13:53,841 --> 00:13:57,610
All non-essential
employees please leave.
313
00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:59,712
- Nothing to be frightened about.
- ( Flushes )
314
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:01,447
Just get the fuck out now.
315
00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:05,351
- Oh my. - That kind of puts a damper
on cinnamon-bun Tuesday, huh?
316
00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,921
Big time. You guys should
really get moving here.
317
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:09,389
What do you mean, you guys?
318
00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:11,358
I'm not non-essential anymore.
319
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,026
I'm a junior vice president.
320
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,229
Uh, yeah, dude, you're about
as non-essential as they come.
321
00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:17,065
- Me?!
- You're the part of the totem pole
322
00:14:17,099 --> 00:14:19,500
- that's in the ground, bro.
- Tim, I mean all due respect
323
00:14:19,535 --> 00:14:20,936
- when I say this...
- Yeah?
324
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,871
...you're fucking useless.
Let's get out of here.
325
00:14:22,906 --> 00:14:25,140
O'Flaherty:
This is crazy!
326
00:14:25,175 --> 00:14:27,542
Yeah, they sent us home from Omnicorp.
We've got a crisis.
327
00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:29,344
Really?
( Laughs )
328
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:31,546
- You sound happy.
- O'Flaherty: Well, look at all this business.
329
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,315
This is crisis business.
Usually at this hour
330
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,418
it's just me standing around
with my drunk brother.
331
00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:38,020
- ( Belches )
- That guy's your brother?
332
00:14:38,054 --> 00:14:41,290
Yeah, that's my brother, yeah.
He is always drunk.
333
00:14:41,325 --> 00:14:42,758
( Groans ) I swallowed it.
334
00:14:42,793 --> 00:14:44,994
Hey, shut up.
Nobody told you to say anything.
335
00:14:45,028 --> 00:14:47,229
I will burn you with this lighter.
336
00:14:47,264 --> 00:14:48,930
You know I'll do it.
I've done it before.
337
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,299
Fuck me in the ear with a dick.
338
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,267
- Tim: What's going on?
- Look at that.
339
00:14:53,302 --> 00:14:56,136
...terrible situation here
in Bergen, New Jersey.
340
00:14:56,171 --> 00:14:58,372
A chemical facility that manufactures
341
00:14:58,406 --> 00:15:00,907
low-grade antifreeze
has imploded.
342
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,742
There's a massive sinkhole
in the ground
343
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,711
that continues to get worse
344
00:15:04,745 --> 00:15:07,914
- and is threatening the local water supply.
- That's not good.
345
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,984
A hole so deep that it
could only be described
346
00:15:11,019 --> 00:15:13,153
as a hellmouth.
We don't know much,
347
00:15:13,187 --> 00:15:16,990
except that it's owned by a
parent company called Omnicorp.
348
00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:19,626
That's Omnicorp with a P on the end.
349
00:15:19,661 --> 00:15:22,363
- That is really not good.
- He didn't say Omnicorp, did he?
350
00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:25,600
You pronounce the P--
Omnicorp.
351
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,368
- Oh, no.
- I thought we--
352
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:30,071
I thought we made spreadsheets.
Am I crazy?
353
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:32,240
If we go out of business, I am fucked!
354
00:15:32,274 --> 00:15:33,875
I will put my kids up for adoption,
355
00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,644
- no questions asked.
- That's the first thing you think of?
356
00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:38,279
Yeah. They're
just fucking drains
357
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,082
- on my checking account.
- No one's going out of business.
358
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:41,717
- This might not even be that bad.
- ( Phone vibrating )
359
00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:43,352
Oh, wait.
Hold on a sec.
360
00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:45,187
Timalamadingdong, talk to me.
361
00:15:45,222 --> 00:15:47,356
I don't even have time to address
how you just answered the phone.
362
00:15:47,390 --> 00:15:48,991
- Oh hey, boss.
- Where are you?
363
00:15:49,025 --> 00:15:52,360
Oh, they said everyone go home.
All non-essentials go home.
364
00:15:52,395 --> 00:15:54,963
Of course you're ess-- God, I hate
saying that, but you are essential.
365
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,731
- Come here right now.
- Oh, I'll be right back.
366
00:15:56,765 --> 00:15:58,900
I was right.
I'm a big shot now.
367
00:15:58,934 --> 00:16:00,834
- Hmm.
- Catch you later.
368
00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:03,403
Big shots don't normally refer
to themselves as big shots.
369
00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:05,238
Yeah, and they definitely
don't wear braided belts.
370
00:16:05,273 --> 00:16:09,475
- ( Belches )
- I will throw you down the stairs!
371
00:16:11,378 --> 00:16:13,547
So, smoking.
372
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:16,883
This is a no-smoking zone.
I'm so so sorry.
373
00:16:16,918 --> 00:16:20,853
Someone tell that bitch to shut up!
374
00:16:20,888 --> 00:16:24,656
Okay. Listen, everyone. The P.R.
department is running this.
375
00:16:24,691 --> 00:16:27,059
Here's what's gonna happen
over the next 24 hours.
376
00:16:27,093 --> 00:16:28,794
- Okay.
- Tim: Hey.
377
00:16:28,828 --> 00:16:31,730
Oh. I'm sorry.
I'm a little late.
378
00:16:31,765 --> 00:16:33,933
Can I grab anyone a cinnamon bun?
379
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:36,336
- Okay, don't, uh--
- ( Tim chuckles ) Oh my God.
380
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,672
Do not-- you are not
taking a seat.
381
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,375
- Don't sit, don't even think about sitting.
- I'm not moving.
382
00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:43,511
- There's no motion.
- Oh God, if she kills him,
383
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,879
this could be very unpleasant.
384
00:16:44,913 --> 00:16:46,915
This kid is the new
face of the company.
385
00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:49,284
- Really?
- Press releases, ads-- I want him talking.
386
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:50,651
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
387
00:16:50,686 --> 00:16:52,820
( Clears throat ) I hate
to have to interject here,
388
00:16:52,854 --> 00:16:54,588
but is-- I mean, is
this really a good--
389
00:16:54,623 --> 00:16:56,657
- I sound extremely authoritative.
- He does.
390
00:16:56,691 --> 00:16:58,092
If I may, um...
391
00:16:58,126 --> 00:17:01,028
( Low voice ) ...Does anyone
here want a cinnamon bun?
392
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,365
- Uh, is that just--
- P.R. woman: Please stop talking!
393
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:06,701
- Well, I mean--
- He is the one-- young, wholesome,
394
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,204
not the type of corporate douchebag
395
00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:10,905
everyone's expecting to hear from.
396
00:17:10,939 --> 00:17:14,275
Is this woman insinuating that I'm
some form of bag of a douche?
397
00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:16,944
You're coming to Jersey with me.
It's the garden state.
398
00:17:16,979 --> 00:17:20,147
- Just hold your nose going through secaucus.
- All right.
399
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:23,550
- She kind of turns me on.
- Me too.
400
00:17:24,819 --> 00:17:27,687
Okay, an Omnicorp rep
will address the media
401
00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:30,256
and do a five-minute Q&A.
You don't like it?
402
00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:32,525
Suck my left tit.
No, the left tit.
403
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,529
Yeah, they like my look. They want me
to talk and be the face of the company.
404
00:17:35,563 --> 00:17:37,664
- Amy: And you're actually doing it?
- Yeah.
405
00:17:37,699 --> 00:17:40,201
I have to do it. I don't think
I have a choice in the matter.
406
00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:42,637
Wait wait wait, who are you
talking to back there?
407
00:17:42,671 --> 00:17:45,073
- My girlfriend Amy. You wanna say hi?
- No!
408
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,075
I told you--
no contact with anyone.
409
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,776
You're an unreasonable P.R. exec.
410
00:17:48,811 --> 00:17:50,077
- Give me--
- No. She doesn't count.
411
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,913
He'll call you back later, bitch.
412
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,549
- Amy: Bitch? Who said that?
- Oh, hey.
413
00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:57,019
That seemed like overkill.
414
00:17:59,422 --> 00:18:02,291
- Okay, so how do you want him?
- I want him all-American, you know?
415
00:18:02,325 --> 00:18:05,160
Yeah yeah yeah. Okay, so like a
sexy little ethnic Hardy boy?
416
00:18:05,194 --> 00:18:07,095
- What?
- No, with his sleeves rolled up.
417
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,430
- We're gonna push up his sleeves, right?
- Right.
418
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,465
Just a caz-- a caz, like tossed off,
419
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:14,534
kind of casual, uh,
cazzy-cazzy kind of--
420
00:18:14,569 --> 00:18:16,636
- Kind of dressed up.
- Just roll up his fucking sleeves.
421
00:18:16,671 --> 00:18:19,206
Like fun. Just kind of
like funny funny, fun fun.
422
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,874
- Okay. My golden boy.
- Thank you.
423
00:18:21,909 --> 00:18:24,176
- My golden boy.
- My golden P.R. lady.
424
00:18:24,211 --> 00:18:25,845
- You know what to say?
- No.
425
00:18:25,879 --> 00:18:27,547
Just read the prepared statement.
426
00:18:27,581 --> 00:18:30,750
- Oh, I'm gonna read that first.
- Yes. And for the Q&A?
427
00:18:30,785 --> 00:18:33,821
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Say things like,
428
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:36,991
"We live here too,"
"we've got a team on that"
429
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:38,659
and "We're here
for the long haul."
430
00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:41,228
- Just keep saying that over and over?
- Yeah. For any question
431
00:18:41,262 --> 00:18:43,363
- it'll apply. Trust me, okay?
- We got a team on it.
432
00:18:43,398 --> 00:18:45,499
We're here for the long
haul with a team on it.
433
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:47,301
- We live here too.
- We live here.
434
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,771
- We got a team on it.
- Yeah, anything they could ask. Perfect.
435
00:18:49,805 --> 00:18:52,140
And what do you not do
under any circumstances?
436
00:18:52,175 --> 00:18:56,244
- I don't apologize or accept blame.
- Exactly.
437
00:18:56,279 --> 00:18:58,180
- You're gonna do great.
- Am I?
438
00:18:58,214 --> 00:19:01,716
Yes. And if you don't, so help me
God, I will cut off your balls.
439
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:04,653
- Oh my God.
- I'll suck 'em off.
440
00:19:04,687 --> 00:19:07,656
And, you know, that's where
we stand at this juncture.
441
00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:09,857
We're here for the long haul.
Thanks for your time.
442
00:19:09,892 --> 00:19:13,161
- ( Whispers ) Ah, you did great.
- Thank you, thank--
443
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,363
Okay, we'll do a brief Q&A.
444
00:19:15,397 --> 00:19:17,432
Keep your questions concise, please.
445
00:19:17,466 --> 00:19:20,901
- Um, Richard.
- Yeah. Uh, first can we just get
446
00:19:20,936 --> 00:19:22,870
- the correct spelling of your name, please?
- Tim.
447
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:24,572
- Uh-huh.
- Standard spelling.
448
00:19:24,606 --> 00:19:27,107
Standard spelling
on that. Great.
449
00:19:27,142 --> 00:19:28,642
Oh and you know what?
Let me add one more thing.
450
00:19:28,677 --> 00:19:30,778
- I was supposed to hit several points.
- Richard: Mm-hmm.
451
00:19:30,812 --> 00:19:33,714
I wanna make it clear that Omnicorp
is not sorry about any of this.
452
00:19:33,748 --> 00:19:36,617
- What do you mean?
- Oh, just-- just for the record.
453
00:19:36,651 --> 00:19:38,752
- We're not--
- I'm sorry, I just wanna make sure I understood that.
454
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,888
- I just wanted to get that in.
- So you're not--
455
00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:43,824
You're not sorry for causing the
greatest ecological disaster
456
00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:46,427
in the history of New Jersey,
which is saying something.
457
00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:48,429
You're not sorry for that?
458
00:19:48,464 --> 00:19:49,864
- Nope.
- ( Muffled ) Tim.
459
00:19:49,899 --> 00:19:52,634
- What? Can I have a minute?
- Tim.
460
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,870
( Softly ) We're not sorry, right?
What's going on here?
461
00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:56,138
We're sorry now?
We a little sorry?
462
00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:58,474
We're a little sorry.
We're a little sorry.
463
00:19:58,508 --> 00:20:01,544
You're a little bit sorry?
So I'm gonna say that--
464
00:20:01,578 --> 00:20:03,112
I think the headline
of this article now is gonna be
465
00:20:03,146 --> 00:20:04,980
Omnicorp, quote, "A little sorry"...
466
00:20:05,015 --> 00:20:07,217
- Omnicorp's a little sorry. You can quote me on that.
- ( Hisses ) Tim.
467
00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:09,118
Richard: ..."About greatest ecological
disaster in state's history."
468
00:20:09,153 --> 00:20:10,720
- I'm getting some looks over here.
- Mm-hmm.
469
00:20:10,722 --> 00:20:12,755
Okay. And that'll
do it for the Q&A.
470
00:20:12,789 --> 00:20:16,225
Thanks for coming.
Go home, shut your windows, don't bathe..
471
00:20:17,961 --> 00:20:21,664
I wanna make it clear that Omnicorp
is not sorry about any of this.
472
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:23,199
What the hell were you thinking?
473
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:25,401
I thought I was supposed
to not apologize.
474
00:20:25,435 --> 00:20:27,937
Tim, the media will tear
you limb from limb
475
00:20:27,971 --> 00:20:29,972
and America will tune in to watch!
476
00:20:30,006 --> 00:20:32,542
Listen, I am sorry.
I thought I was doing what I was told.
477
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:35,077
- Guys, take him away. I'm gonna kill him.
- Here we go. Hup.
478
00:20:35,111 --> 00:20:36,512
- Let me apolo--
- ( Guards shouting )
479
00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:37,846
- Tim: No no no!
- Grab him.
480
00:20:37,881 --> 00:20:39,281
- Come on, you little bitch.
- Please no no no!
481
00:20:39,316 --> 00:20:40,850
- P.R. woman: Get him out.
- Hup!
482
00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,419
Honestly, I had no idea the P.R.
department was this hardcore.
483
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:45,821
- I'm impressed.
- ( Sighs ) Okay,
484
00:20:45,856 --> 00:20:48,190
they're playing Tim's
quote on every channel.
485
00:20:48,225 --> 00:20:49,592
- Boss: Got it.
- We need to--
486
00:20:49,626 --> 00:20:51,827
Boss, I got the London
chairman on the phone.
487
00:20:51,862 --> 00:20:54,696
You talk to him. You deal with it.
Tell him I'm busy.
488
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,398
- Tell him I'm on the bidet.
- Hold on.
489
00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:58,266
Mr. Chairman, you're on with the boss.
490
00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:00,435
Thank you. And please stop
calling him the boss.
491
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,637
That really is quite ridiculous.
Now what's being done?
492
00:21:02,671 --> 00:21:04,906
Well, first of all,
my name is the boss.
493
00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:06,874
Secondly, uh, we're--
we're discussing ways
494
00:21:06,908 --> 00:21:10,678
to punish Tim--
the employee Tim.
495
00:21:10,713 --> 00:21:13,047
And we could dock his pay.
We could-- we could fire him.
496
00:21:13,082 --> 00:21:15,885
Um, or just make him
wear-- I have the jacket
497
00:21:15,919 --> 00:21:17,753
from "Joseph and the
Technicolor Dreamcoat"
498
00:21:17,788 --> 00:21:19,756
that Donny Osmond wore on Broadway.
499
00:21:19,790 --> 00:21:23,093
- Maybe make him wear that.
- How on earth is that gonna get us out of this mess?
500
00:21:23,127 --> 00:21:25,429
It absolutely won't.
501
00:21:25,463 --> 00:21:29,834
- Should we keep thinking?
- Yes, of course. We need problem solvers here.
502
00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:33,237
Now does anyone have
an intelligent idea?!
503
00:21:33,271 --> 00:21:36,506
- Yeah.
- No, it appears we're done.
504
00:21:36,541 --> 00:21:38,441
- Bleh.
- Nobody has a thought.
505
00:21:38,476 --> 00:21:41,043
- I got an idea!
- Great, who am I speaking with?
506
00:21:41,078 --> 00:21:43,145
- Boss: No, it's--
- Rodney. Stiff Rod.
507
00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:45,615
- This is awful. I can't believe this is happening.
- Hot Rod.
508
00:21:45,649 --> 00:21:47,450
- Big hunk of Rod.
- Nobody calls you that.
509
00:21:47,484 --> 00:21:50,185
Never mind. Okay.
Why don't we just change
510
00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:53,422
the name of the company?
Then nobody knows who to be mad at.
511
00:21:54,891 --> 00:21:56,358
( Softly ) You are a dimwit.
512
00:21:56,393 --> 00:21:59,161
Sir, I uh-- listen, we've
got a lot of ideas.
513
00:21:59,196 --> 00:22:00,463
No no, just a moment, just a moment.
514
00:22:00,497 --> 00:22:02,665
It is a bold maneuver,
I grant you that,
515
00:22:02,699 --> 00:22:05,535
- but it could actually work.
- Boss: Hmm.
516
00:22:05,569 --> 00:22:07,170
Phillip Morris became Altria.
517
00:22:07,204 --> 00:22:09,807
Kentucky Fried Chicken became K.F.C.
518
00:22:09,841 --> 00:22:12,876
- Dwayne Johnson became The Rock.
- I like it.
519
00:22:12,911 --> 00:22:15,012
Let's act on this.
In the meantime,
520
00:22:15,046 --> 00:22:18,549
I want a media blackout
and I want this Rodney
521
00:22:18,584 --> 00:22:21,953
to be fairly compensated--
six-figure bonus. ( Chuckles )
522
00:22:21,988 --> 00:22:24,456
Good talk, people.
( Hangs up )
523
00:22:24,491 --> 00:22:27,526
I don't know what just--
I'm not sure-- Rodney?
524
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,961
Really? I don't--
am I having a stroke?
525
00:22:29,996 --> 00:22:34,465
Now what we're gonna do is wait
for the story to blow over,
526
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:36,633
then we'll re-emerge
with a new name.
527
00:22:36,668 --> 00:22:40,270
In the meantime, I want the
sign removed from the building
528
00:22:40,304 --> 00:22:43,506
and Tim to fucking disappear.
Okay everyone, let's move.
529
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:45,908
- ( Footsteps passing )
- ( Door closes )
530
00:22:45,943 --> 00:22:49,245
So guess who's getting the big bucks!
531
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,614
♪ Stiff stiff stiff Rod! ♪
532
00:22:51,649 --> 00:22:54,885
♪ Yeah, he's getting paid!
Paid some big ol' dough ♪
533
00:22:54,919 --> 00:22:58,089
♪ He's getting paid a lot of
money 'cause he's in charge ♪
534
00:22:58,123 --> 00:23:02,260
♪ Look at the big swinging dick!
It's stiff Rod! ♪
535
00:23:02,294 --> 00:23:04,429
- Good lord, sir, we're all just right here.
- Oh, sorry.
536
00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:06,565
I thought you guys left.
You been there the whole time?
537
00:23:06,599 --> 00:23:08,000
What the hell's happening?
538
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,604
- ( Door opens )
- Hey, what's going on?
539
00:23:11,638 --> 00:23:14,640
I've been caged up in here
like a wild animal.
540
00:23:14,674 --> 00:23:16,875
- Pretty spacious office.
- It is pretty nice actually.
541
00:23:16,910 --> 00:23:19,011
It's pretty comfy.
But what's going on? Any news?
542
00:23:19,045 --> 00:23:21,045
Rodney-- Rodney strangely
enough saved the day.
543
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,148
- Rodney? Wow.
- I know. Blew my mind.
544
00:23:24,182 --> 00:23:26,784
- Um, we're gonna rename the company.
- What?!
545
00:23:26,818 --> 00:23:29,520
- And the third thing, um--
- We need you to disappear.
546
00:23:29,554 --> 00:23:32,757
- Disappear?
- Right. Like Mengele from Germany to Argentina.
547
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:34,759
- We need you to go into hiding.
- In a closet?
548
00:23:34,794 --> 00:23:38,129
- Marie: No. We need you to leave the country.
- What?!
549
00:23:38,164 --> 00:23:41,232
Tim, you're our only
liability right now, okay?
550
00:23:41,267 --> 00:23:43,568
Your face is the image of disaster.
551
00:23:43,602 --> 00:23:46,504
- The press won't stop hounding you.
- Okay, I can get a haircut.
552
00:23:46,538 --> 00:23:50,107
- They're not mad at your hair.
- I can't leave. I've got a girlfriend.
553
00:23:50,142 --> 00:23:51,909
I got-- I got
magazine subscriptions.
554
00:23:51,943 --> 00:23:53,577
Listen, I would love to fire you.
555
00:23:53,611 --> 00:23:55,379
- We both would.
- But we can't.
556
00:23:55,413 --> 00:23:57,948
Because of the lawsuit, everybody's
contractually obligated to work here
557
00:23:57,983 --> 00:24:00,451
for the rest of their lives.
So you've gotta get the hell outta here.
558
00:24:00,485 --> 00:24:02,920
Marie: So you get
indentured solitude
559
00:24:02,954 --> 00:24:05,655
in the Caribbean on Omnicorp's dime.
560
00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:08,858
That's my punishment?
Go to a Caribbean resort indefinitely?
561
00:24:08,892 --> 00:24:10,426
Tim, let's trade clothes real quick
562
00:24:10,461 --> 00:24:12,395
so we can sneak you out
before the press spots you.
563
00:24:12,429 --> 00:24:15,232
All right, let's do it.
Wow, oh my God, you're really doing it here.
564
00:24:15,266 --> 00:24:17,034
- ( Stammers )
- Marie, those are your tits.
565
00:24:17,069 --> 00:24:20,071
- They're right there-- big and bouncy.
- Marie, I know I've said
566
00:24:20,105 --> 00:24:21,806
some nasty things to
you over the years,
567
00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:23,642
but you've got an amazing set of boobs.
568
00:24:23,676 --> 00:24:25,511
I feel like I should get nude too.
569
00:24:25,545 --> 00:24:27,780
Bee boop ba doo ba doo ba doo.
570
00:24:29,583 --> 00:24:31,784
You know, if you guys move any slower,
571
00:24:31,818 --> 00:24:33,719
you're gonna get a Jimmy
Choo up your butt.
572
00:24:33,754 --> 00:24:36,389
- What's a Jimmy Choo?
- Oh, shut your fucking mouth
573
00:24:36,423 --> 00:24:38,491
and don't talk back.
I am not in the mood.
574
00:24:38,526 --> 00:24:40,360
Oh, I like the way you talk dirty.
575
00:24:40,394 --> 00:24:43,129
Yeah! Talk dirty!
Get violent!
576
00:24:43,163 --> 00:24:44,864
Yeah, that's how I like it.
577
00:24:44,898 --> 00:24:48,400
Shut your mouth and work.
I'm not in the mood for this crap.
578
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,784
You got a good thing going on
with your body.
579
00:24:50,904 --> 00:24:52,939
- I like it.
- Thank you very much.
580
00:24:52,973 --> 00:24:56,643
Yeah. Hey, let's get a bite
to eat after this on me.
581
00:24:56,678 --> 00:24:58,713
- Okay, after this.
- Man: You promise?
582
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,116
- Promise.
- All right! Hey!
583
00:25:01,150 --> 00:25:04,819
Hey, guys, she's gonna
let me take her out!
584
00:25:04,854 --> 00:25:08,123
( Laughs ) I'm the
luckiest guy in the world!
585
00:25:08,158 --> 00:25:09,958
( Phone vibrates )
586
00:25:09,993 --> 00:25:12,394
Okay, if you're ever gonna
sit down, this is the time.
587
00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:14,796
- What? Just--
- Get low, get low to the ground.
588
00:25:14,831 --> 00:25:15,831
Tim, just say it.
589
00:25:15,865 --> 00:25:18,868
Omnicorp wants me out of the country.
590
00:25:18,902 --> 00:25:22,037
They're gonna pay, but I have
to leave in the morning.
591
00:25:22,071 --> 00:25:24,840
So, uh, I fucked up, I know.
592
00:25:24,874 --> 00:25:26,742
I know how mad you are.
You're still there?
593
00:25:26,776 --> 00:25:28,343
Fucked up?
594
00:25:28,378 --> 00:25:30,913
- Tim, this is amazing.
- Amazing?
595
00:25:30,947 --> 00:25:33,515
- It's just what we need.
- You want me out of the co-- oh!
596
00:25:33,549 --> 00:25:35,250
I mean, my job has just been not fun
597
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:36,685
- lately, and--
- True.
598
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,155
- You know, I could just quit.
- That's amazing.
599
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:41,056
And then we could just
have a whole fresh start.
600
00:25:41,091 --> 00:25:42,958
That's great.
So Tim didn't fuck up?
601
00:25:42,993 --> 00:25:45,728
No, Tim did good.
602
00:25:45,762 --> 00:25:47,663
Tim did real real good.
603
00:25:47,698 --> 00:25:50,700
You know that's a condescending
tone of voice, right?
604
00:25:50,734 --> 00:25:52,635
- No.
- The way you talk to a small dog?
605
00:25:52,669 --> 00:25:54,003
No.
606
00:25:56,273 --> 00:25:59,041
Don't even ask-- it's--
they're Marie's clothes.
607
00:25:59,076 --> 00:26:01,344
Looks like Eileen Fisher
just diarrhea'ed
608
00:26:01,378 --> 00:26:03,713
- all over your body.
- Don't even-- don't even ask.
609
00:26:03,747 --> 00:26:05,181
Oh man, this is crazy.
610
00:26:05,215 --> 00:26:06,649
One minute you're
eating cinnamon buns,
611
00:26:06,683 --> 00:26:08,885
the next minute company's
going out of business
612
00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:10,520
and you're on a plane
to the Caribbean.
613
00:26:10,554 --> 00:26:12,422
- I think it worked out for everybody.
- Yeah?
614
00:26:12,457 --> 00:26:15,292
Yeah, you're getting a sick trip.
I'm getting a big bonus.
615
00:26:15,326 --> 00:26:17,427
What about Stu?
What does Stu get?
616
00:26:17,461 --> 00:26:20,696
Well, I don't think
you really get anything.
617
00:26:20,731 --> 00:26:24,199
Or I got two free cinnamon buns.
618
00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,235
- Oh, look at that.
- Bam!
619
00:26:26,269 --> 00:26:27,869
- Oh, nice.
- Stuball, Stuball, Stuball, Stuball...
620
00:26:27,904 --> 00:26:30,773
- ( Beatboxing )
- Stuball, Stuball, Stuball, Stuball...
621
00:26:30,807 --> 00:26:32,675
Stu-wa, Stu-wa, Stu-wa.
622
00:26:32,709 --> 00:26:36,246
( Deep voice )
Stu-ball, Stu-ball
623
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,283
Stuball, Stuball, Stuball, Stuball.
624
00:26:39,317 --> 00:26:40,685
- Stuball wins.
- ( Mimics beeping )
625
00:26:40,719 --> 00:26:42,853
- Nice.
- Stu, two;
626
00:26:42,888 --> 00:26:46,491
Everybody else on this
fucking planet, zero.
627
00:26:46,526 --> 00:26:48,059
All right, I'm outta here. Quick hug.
628
00:26:48,094 --> 00:26:49,727
- Rodney: Yeah, come here.
- Tim: Gimme a hug.
629
00:26:49,762 --> 00:26:51,095
- Stu: Best friends.
- Tim: Nice.
630
00:26:51,130 --> 00:26:52,997
- ( Rodney moans )
- Stu: Oh, yeah. ( Moans )
631
00:26:53,032 --> 00:26:54,665
- All right that's too much.
- Stu: I love you guys.
632
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,334
That's two penises
I'm feeling right now.
633
00:26:56,368 --> 00:26:58,202
- Stu: It might be a cinnamon bun.
- It's too much thrusting.
634
00:26:58,236 --> 00:26:59,670
Might be an unraveled cinnamon bun.
635
00:27:02,273 --> 00:27:03,540
- You the guy?
- I'm the guy.
636
00:27:03,574 --> 00:27:04,841
- Okay.
- I'm dressed like Marie.
637
00:27:04,876 --> 00:27:07,377
- Right. Yeah, I got it.
- Give me two minutes...
638
00:27:07,412 --> 00:27:09,312
- Then we're off.
- ...Then we're off.
639
00:27:10,381 --> 00:27:12,549
Oh man, this is crazy.
640
00:27:12,584 --> 00:27:15,052
What if I don't come back?
641
00:27:15,087 --> 00:27:17,088
Omnicorp, I'm gonna miss you
642
00:27:17,122 --> 00:27:21,060
if this is it.
I'm not good at goodbyes,
643
00:27:21,094 --> 00:27:24,731
especially with buildings in Midtown.
644
00:27:24,765 --> 00:27:27,967
No, the other one from before.
Yeah yeah, the big boxy,
645
00:27:28,002 --> 00:27:29,969
with the square butt and the big shoes
646
00:27:30,003 --> 00:27:32,104
and the square tits--
Yeah, they're real ugly.
647
00:27:32,139 --> 00:27:34,140
( Laughs ) Yeah yeah, she's all business.
I love it.
648
00:27:34,174 --> 00:27:36,108
Oh. Ho!
649
00:27:36,143 --> 00:27:37,476
Oh, shit.
650
00:27:37,511 --> 00:27:49,222
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
651
00:27:49,256 --> 00:27:54,094
♪ I bet a nickel I could tell
you if it was heads or tails ♪
652
00:27:54,128 --> 00:27:58,098
♪ I'm not gonna worry
wrinkles in my brow ♪
653
00:27:58,132 --> 00:28:02,369
♪ 'cause nothing's ever
gonna be all right nohow ♪
654
00:28:02,403 --> 00:28:06,339
♪ no matter how
I struggle and strive ♪
655
00:28:06,374 --> 00:28:11,812
♪ I'll never get out
of this world alive. ♪