1
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:03,625
Liz!
Liz Lemon!
2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:07,090
It's me, Thad.
From college.
3
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,391
I've had my skin tags removed
4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,642
since then so you can
see my eyes now.
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,778
Oh, you ran the light board
at the theater.
6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,248
Everyone called you... Thad,
no nickname.
7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:18,902
And you, you were the star
The Sound of Music.
8
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,120
Thank you, no everyone thinks
of the young Nazi boy
9
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,355
as the star of that show.
10
00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:26,292
♪ You are one age going on
another age ♪
11
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:30,046
♪ what's going to happen next.
12
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,530
A lot of people didn't
realize that was
13
00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:33,233
the free, unlicensed version.
14
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,468
Look, I know it's last
minute, but I'm having
15
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,371
an epic Leap Day party
this afternoon.
16
00:00:38,389 --> 00:00:41,741
Wow, a daytime party
celebrating Leap Day.
17
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:44,377
Sounds fun, but I have to work.
18
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,595
Hey, Liz, new Bluetooth?
19
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,513
No, I'm talking to someone.
20
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,048
Oh, I'm sorry.
21
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,017
I don't see people
that look like that.
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,936
Sorry.
23
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:54,938
Wow, that was this creep
I went to college with.
24
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:56,289
Such a nerd.
25
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,191
And this is coming from
someone who wrote lyrics
26
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,227
to the song the cantina
band playsin Star Wars.
27
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,580
♪ Figrin d'an
the kloo horn man ♪
28
00:01:03,614 --> 00:01:06,416
♪ he's from clak'dor seven
29
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:08,751
But, at least I don't
throw Leap Day parties.
30
00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:11,754
Wait, that was Thad Warmald,
the billionaire?
31
00:01:11,789 --> 00:01:14,540
No, that was sad Thad
the skintag lad.
32
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,092
I coined that.
33
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:17,293
That name has been all over
34
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,212
the gold digger message
boards lately.
35
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,214
I don't know a lot
about business,
36
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:24,017
but he did an Internet and
now the computers like him
37
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,386
and Wall Street is Google.
38
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,021
Oh, my God.
39
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:32,591
We are going to this party and
you're introducing me to Thad.
40
00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:34,978
Liz, I'm on a sexual
walkabout right now.
41
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,595
I need to know if anything can
44
00:01:41,652 --> 00:01:43,970
What? How much
Internet did he do?
45
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,339
Poke your eye, pull your hair,
you forgot what clothes to wear.
46
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,991
What the hell?
47
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,826
You're not wearing yellow
and blue on Leap Day.
48
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,111
So what?
Leap Day is not a thing.
49
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,112
♪ Leap Day William
50
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,180
♪ Leap Day William
51
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,282
♪ bursting from the sea
52
00:01:56,300 --> 00:02:00,670
♪ will he bring his bucket of
sweets for mom and pop and me ♪
53
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,005
What the crap
is going on in here?
54
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:04,691
Why, Leap Day
William is visiting.
55
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:05,892
Leap Day William?
56
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,560
Miss Lemon, did you
not grow up
57
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,861
with Leap Day William?
58
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,363
He lives
in the Mariana trench.
59
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,482
He emerges every four years
60
00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,984
to trade children's
tears for candy?
61
00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:16,436
What? No.
62
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,438
But white haven was
founded by the amish,
63
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,606
and we really only celebrated
their holidays.
64
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,442
After high school,
I went on rumspringa.
65
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,277
It was crazy.
66
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,679
I totally snuck into
The Witches of Eastwick.
67
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,781
But where were you when
we did this four years ago?
68
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,184
Certainly not at a Michael's
crafts crafting cruise.
69
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,503
Oh, miss Lemon,
you are missing out.
70
00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:36,372
Every four years, you get
a magical extra day.
71
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,324
A day to do the things you
ordinarily wouldn't do.
72
00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:39,325
To take chances!
73
00:02:39,343 --> 00:02:41,027
For instance, I am wearing
74
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,996
a braided necklace with
a shark's tooth on it.
75
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,831
I listened to rap music
for the first time.
76
00:02:45,849 --> 00:02:46,999
Not a fan.
77
00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:48,201
And you and I
are going to a party
78
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,602
thrown by a billionaire.
79
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,722
Come on, take a leap, Liz.
80
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:56,359
Okay, fine, I'll go, but
if he has a giant chandelier
81
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,510
in his house, I'm out.
82
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,362
Those things fall.
83
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:00,646
Waah, waah.
84
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,368
♪ Leap Day William,
Leap Day William ♪
85
00:03:18,086 --> 00:03:20,186
30 ROCK
S06 Ep09 - Leap Day
86
00:03:20,279 --> 00:03:23,579
Sync by Sp8ky and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
87
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,806
Happy Leap Day, Lemon.
88
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,591
- Help yourself to some rhubarb.
- Rhubarb?
89
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,676
Is white haven the only city
in America
90
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,045
that doesn't celebrate Leap Day?
91
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,180
Oh, it's not such a big deal
in Boston, either.
92
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,350
Just a Leap Day William parade,
citywide ice maze
93
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,985
and, uh, we don't poke you
in the eye
94
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,553
if you're not
wearing yellow and blue.
95
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,438
- We just, uh, stomp on your foot.
- Ow!
96
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,407
Kick you in the knee,
Yankees suck, go pats.
97
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,992
I can't believe
the woman who watches
98
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,394
all six
pawn shop reality shows
99
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,080
has never seen the movie,
Leap Dave Williams.
100
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,898
I'm sorry,
is Leap Dave Williams
101
00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:54,951
a play on Leap Day William?
102
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,953
It's a classic.
Uptight lawyer Dave Williams
103
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,571
turns into the real
Leap Day William
104
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,840
after an ice fishing trip
gone awry.
105
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:04,210
USA runs an all day marathon.
106
00:04:06,096 --> 00:04:08,114
Dave, is everything all right?
107
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:10,316
I definitely don't have gills.
108
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,584
I mean, nothing.
109
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,953
I mean, yes.
110
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,155
Oh, my God, that's what Chris
kept quoting this morning
111
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,857
during our love... making.
112
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,309
New assistant
reporting for duty.
113
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,994
Kenneth's filling in.
114
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,129
Gabe's got the weak off.
115
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,297
He's a mormon.
116
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,465
You know how they are
about Leap Day.
117
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,099
No, I don't, I don't know th...
118
00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:29,118
Ow, ah!
119
00:04:29,153 --> 00:04:30,736
Fine, I didn't wanna
have to do this,
120
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,772
but I am wearing
yellow and blue.
121
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,280
Kenneth, I'm hoping to find
you a permanent position
122
00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:43,249
here at the company, but it's
hard to take you seriously
123
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,817
when you're dressed like that.
124
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,469
I'm sorry, sir.
125
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,504
I just get so excited
spreading holiday cheer.
126
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,840
Well, certainly you remember
the joy that fills
127
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,292
a young boy's heart
on the day of leap.
128
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,394
Don't get me wrong,
I love this holiday.
129
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,629
But do you know why?
130
00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:58,397
Oh, sir, I never know why.
131
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,067
Because it's an extra day
to do business.
132
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,202
A bonus profit opportunity.
133
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,171
I have a bet with my business
school roommates
134
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,472
every four years to see
135
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,641
who can make the most money
on Leap Day.
136
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,694
And that is why I am announcing
today that cable town is
137
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:16,082
purchasing Xaro,
the 3-D Internet company.
138
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:19,252
It'll be like those Bible
quotes are right in your face.
139
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,921
Yes, now take off
that bald cap, Kenneth.
140
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:22,988
We have a lot of work to do.
141
00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:25,391
Of course,
take off my bald cap.
142
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,427
Not put on my wig.
143
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:35,134
Well, he's definitely rich.
144
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,023
Oh...
145
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:43,442
Look how lame this crowd is.
146
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,945
Thad's been in his little
nerd world for so long
147
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,248
and now he's peeping out
of his shell like a... um,
148
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,683
oh, what's that animal?
149
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,402
You know, the one that crosses
so slowly across the road
150
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,055
and then you swerve to make sure
you hit it and then a car
151
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:59,041
coming the other way swerves to
avoid you and goes off a cliff.
152
00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:01,627
And then that night you and your
companion have the greatest sex
153
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,563
of your lives because
you're both sharing a secret.
154
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,365
- It's a turtle, Jenna.
- Yes, he's a turtle.
155
00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:07,717
And he's coming out of his shell
156
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:09,168
for the first time.
157
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:12,205
And when he does,
he's gonna see this.
158
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:18,728
We really gotta get all
the furniture out of here?
159
00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:20,396
My aquarium guy's
coming to see about
160
00:06:20,430 --> 00:06:22,431
turning this whole room
into an aquarium.
161
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,985
Who's really in the aquarium?
162
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,554
The fish or us?
163
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,156
Greetings, coworkers.
164
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,074
Uh, Mr. Donaghy would
like to inform you that,
165
00:06:32,109 --> 00:06:35,027
"unfortunately due to the Obama
worldwide recession,
166
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,530
"there will be no Leap Day
bonuses this year.
167
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,916
"Mean laughter, sound of
a drink being poured.
168
00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:42,568
"What are you writing now,
you slack-jawed donkey?
169
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:45,204
What are all
these letters, tray?
170
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,789
It's just fan mail.
171
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,007
I mean, would you read
a bunch of letters
172
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,176
from people
who look up to me?
173
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,262
A $50,000 benihana gift card?
174
00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:55,715
Oh, right, I did
an ad and insisted on
175
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,149
being paid in beni bucks.
176
00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:01,687
Oh, no sir, this card is only
good through February 2012.
177
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,390
Any other year
it'd be march already.
178
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,492
But we found it today!
179
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,144
It's a Leap Day miracle!
180
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,962
Gentlemen, we have
one day to eat
181
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,648
$50,000 worth of Japanese food.
182
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,766
That's impossible.
183
00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:15,801
Nothing's impossible
on Leap Day.
184
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,036
It's like I said in my cameo
185
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,788
appearance in
Leap Dave Williams,
186
00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:22,658
"gimme your wallet, old man!"
187
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,294
Ladies and gentlemen,
I want to introduce you
188
00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:27,146
to the future of Kabletown,
189
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,848
the future of web-browsing,
190
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,017
and, quite frankly,
the future.
191
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,053
Welcome to the age
of 3-D Internet.
192
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,799
Following an unintentionally
racist press conference...
193
00:07:46,817 --> 00:07:48,567
Help us to "Whip"
the competition.
194
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,802
Kabletown shares
down sharply...
195
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,171
Careful, sir,
those leaves are poisonous.
196
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,991
You know the saying,
"rhubarb red, eat away,
197
00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:57,526
rhubarb green,
don't eat them."
198
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,478
Kenneth, I've watched newt
gingrich eat a plate of ribs.
199
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,980
I think my stomach can handle
some rhubarb leaves.
200
00:08:01,999 --> 00:08:04,250
Do you have any idea how long
you'll be needing me today?
201
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,918
One of my birds is sick
202
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,703
and I want to get home
in time to baptize her.
203
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:10,706
We're both staying here until
I come up with an idea
204
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,625
to turn this day around.
205
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,227
Now, would you watch
a television show...
206
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,562
And I'm just
spitballing here...
207
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,164
Called spitball?
208
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,499
Sir, Rebecca Birdstein
needs me.
209
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,202
Kenneth, we all have
to make sacrifices.
210
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,738
Watch this.
211
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,973
Sherry, I'm afraid something
has come up at work
212
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,375
and you'll have to
stay late with Liddy.
213
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:33,112
Uh, just dab some scotch on
your neck and make your eyes
214
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,514
the color of a winter crystal
so she'll think you're me.
215
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:37,283
Uh, thank you Sherry.
216
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,517
Good night.
217
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,536
How many rooms are in...
218
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,908
It's my, uh, d&d room.
219
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:49,195
The gaming table comes up
out of the floor.
220
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,196
Table!
221
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,199
Frak, I'm supposed to say
"floor" first.
222
00:08:55,886 --> 00:08:57,420
Forget it, damn it!
223
00:08:58,922 --> 00:09:02,808
- This is all for you, Liz.
- What?
224
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:06,045
I have been in love with you
since college.
225
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,748
Watching you every
night on that stage
226
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,417
and realizing my dad was wrong.
227
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,785
I do like girls.
228
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,186
Oh, boy. Okay.
229
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,956
The party, the New York
apartment, everything.
230
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,559
Do you know why I spun off Xaro
and sold it to Kabletown?
231
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:24,196
Just so I could
accidentally run into you.
232
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,249
That is why it's called Xaro.
233
00:09:27,284 --> 00:09:31,287
In Game of Thrones, Xaro
is a rich merchant prince
234
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:37,743
who wishes to acquaint himself
with the mother of dragons.
235
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:41,847
Great, well... Scooby Doo!
236
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:45,117
Liz, wait!
$10 million!
237
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,720
I want you
to take my virginity
238
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,121
on leap night
239
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,924
for $10 million.
240
00:09:51,942 --> 00:09:53,109
Fine, 20.
241
00:09:53,143 --> 00:09:54,810
- No, Thad, I...
- Don't answer yet.
242
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,645
I mean, okay, unless you
were gonna say yes.
243
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,482
- No, you heard me say no.
- Don't answer yet.
244
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,267
Don't answer yet.
245
00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:08,933
Oh, come... ... on.
246
00:10:11,387 --> 00:10:12,720
Aah!
247
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,110
Son of a glub.
248
00:10:23,532 --> 00:10:26,751
Mr. Jordan, you'll never
spend all this by midnight.
249
00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:29,153
You appeared in
that ad for nothing.
250
00:10:29,188 --> 00:10:30,822
Well the joke's
on you because that
251
00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:34,242
commercial never aired
for unexplained reasons.
252
00:10:35,661 --> 00:10:37,695
I just touched the table again.
253
00:10:37,713 --> 00:10:39,797
Oh, God, you call for help!
254
00:10:39,832 --> 00:10:42,917
I'll just put my head on
the table for a second.
255
00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:46,938
Now let's get started, bring us
a bottle of your finest wine.
256
00:10:46,972 --> 00:10:48,039
Of course, Mr. Jordan.
257
00:10:48,073 --> 00:10:51,709
That will be $12.
258
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:54,812
Hey, Liz.
I can't find Thad.
259
00:10:54,847 --> 00:10:57,382
Thad just
indecentproposal-ed me.
260
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,767
One night, $20 million.
261
00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:02,820
Oh, my God, that's
the gold digger's dream.
262
00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:04,055
- Where is he?
- No, Jenna.
263
00:11:04,073 --> 00:11:05,256
You don't understand.
264
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,658
He's been in love
with me since college.
265
00:11:06,692 --> 00:11:08,059
He only wants me.
266
00:11:08,077 --> 00:11:09,577
And you're still here.
267
00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:11,129
You're considering it.
268
00:11:11,163 --> 00:11:13,564
Liz, you know you're
not doing this.
269
00:11:13,582 --> 00:11:15,833
I'm on a sexual walkabout.
270
00:11:15,868 --> 00:11:18,235
But you're a nice girl
with a live-in boyfriend.
271
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:21,439
Honey, I'm about to do
something pretty... crazy.
272
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,874
You should.
273
00:11:22,908 --> 00:11:24,909
It's Leap Day.
Real life is for march.
274
00:11:24,944 --> 00:11:26,644
No, just hear me out.
275
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,247
- Because if this doesn't work...
- It doesn't matter.
276
00:11:29,281 --> 00:11:31,582
Nothing that happens on
Leap Day counts.
277
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,552
Nothing that happens
on Leap Day counts.
278
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:37,922
Well, then, here goes nothing.
279
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:39,457
Aah!
280
00:11:44,196 --> 00:11:45,396
Hey, Liz, what's up?
281
00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:47,432
Criss, I'm about to do
something pretty crazy.
282
00:11:47,466 --> 00:11:48,983
You should, it's Leap Day.
283
00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:51,202
- Real life is for march.
- Oh, boy.
284
00:11:51,236 --> 00:11:53,621
No, hear me out, because this
could really ruin...
285
00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:54,872
No, it doesn't matter.
286
00:11:54,907 --> 00:11:56,407
Nothing that happens
on Leap Day counts.
287
00:11:56,442 --> 00:11:57,742
Hey, listen, I gotta run,
288
00:11:57,776 --> 00:12:01,212
but whatever it is,
go for it.
289
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:02,947
Oh, my.
290
00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:07,301
It looks like we've got
a slut-off on our hands.
291
00:12:07,336 --> 00:12:10,454
We've only spent $6000.
292
00:12:10,472 --> 00:12:11,756
We should just give up.
293
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,192
- Never.
- We can't keep eating!
294
00:12:14,226 --> 00:12:16,661
Lutz's shirt button popped off
and hit Cerie.
295
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,363
It counts as us touching.
296
00:12:18,397 --> 00:12:19,630
This is important.
297
00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:20,732
Everybody's always telling me
298
00:12:20,766 --> 00:12:22,400
not to get paid in gift cards.
299
00:12:22,434 --> 00:12:25,937
Angie, my lawyer,
my imaginary friend, Dotcom.
300
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,155
Tray, I'm real.
301
00:12:27,189 --> 00:12:28,506
I moved your furniture.
302
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,491
And, yeah, Leap Day has
become too commercial.
303
00:12:30,526 --> 00:12:32,377
And people have forgotten
what it really means,
304
00:12:32,411 --> 00:12:33,978
but I remember.
305
00:12:34,013 --> 00:12:37,248
One Leap Day when I was a kid,
the Harlem River froze,
306
00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:40,651
and I decided to cross it
carrying my brick collection.
307
00:12:40,669 --> 00:12:41,652
I told him not to.
308
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:43,354
No one can hear you, Dotcom.
309
00:12:43,389 --> 00:12:45,023
Then I fell through the ice.
310
00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:46,991
They still don't know
who pulled me out.
311
00:12:47,026 --> 00:12:48,092
I did.
312
00:12:48,127 --> 00:12:50,395
Charlie Rangel gave me a medal.
313
00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:52,630
I like to think it was
Leap Day William.
314
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:54,198
You really believe
in Leap Day William?
315
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,600
I used to.
316
00:12:55,634 --> 00:12:57,535
Then I tried to eat
all this benihana.
317
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,138
Now I don't know anymore.
318
00:13:00,172 --> 00:13:02,306
I gotta take a walk.
319
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,691
Do some thinking.
320
00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:05,610
But I can explain.
321
00:13:05,644 --> 00:13:07,862
I'm Leap Day Williams!
322
00:13:07,896 --> 00:13:10,448
No, really!
323
00:13:10,482 --> 00:13:12,183
Please, believe me.
324
00:13:12,201 --> 00:13:13,517
Have a little faith.
325
00:13:13,535 --> 00:13:15,486
Oh, boy.
326
00:13:15,521 --> 00:13:17,288
I'm getting sleepy.
327
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,527
Wow, you're famous.
328
00:13:22,561 --> 00:13:24,028
I have screen grabs of
all your nip s.
329
00:13:25,664 --> 00:13:27,665
You know what, Thad?
I was trying to remember.
330
00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:31,202
What was the dance that Rolf
did for Liesl?
331
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:32,904
Did it go like this?
332
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:36,557
Oh, yes.
333
00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:38,376
That's it.
334
00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:41,062
That's how Rolf danced.
335
00:13:41,096 --> 00:13:43,648
Mmm.
336
00:13:43,682 --> 00:13:48,853
Why don't you go and get me
and Liz some drinks?
337
00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:51,072
Very well.
338
00:13:51,106 --> 00:13:54,108
Liz, a moment, please?
339
00:13:56,111 --> 00:13:58,696
If you're really gonna do this,
you better get a move on.
340
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:00,564
Right now, there are
models waking up
341
00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:03,117
from their coke binges,
multi-ethnic bartenders
342
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:05,620
with daddy issues, former
ballerinas who had to quit
343
00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:07,271
because their boobs
got too big.
344
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,574
They're gonna hear about
the horny billionaire,
345
00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:12,510
and Thad's gonna forget all
about his little crush.
346
00:14:12,544 --> 00:14:14,879
They're coming Liz.
Click click.
347
00:14:14,913 --> 00:14:17,932
That's their stilettos.
348
00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,268
Click click.
349
00:14:20,302 --> 00:14:22,320
Sir?
350
00:14:22,354 --> 00:14:24,755
Sir, you don't look so good.
351
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,491
You shouldn't have eaten
those rhubarb leaves.
352
00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,459
I can't be sick.
353
00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:30,394
I won't lose money
on Leap Day.
354
00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:33,430
I'm just gonna rest a second.
355
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:40,037
Please get better, sir.
356
00:14:40,072 --> 00:14:42,073
I've dug too many graves.
357
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:50,447
Why the long face, son?
358
00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:52,783
I do have a long,
elegant face, thank you,
359
00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:55,987
but I can't enjoy your
compliment, because I'm sad.
360
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:59,456
I'm starting to think Leap Day
William isn't even real.
361
00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:01,676
I reckon you may be right.
362
00:15:01,727 --> 00:15:05,663
Leap Day William's probably
just a tall tale told to kids
363
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,464
to help sell candy.
364
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:11,185
But this old fool
still believes he exists,
365
00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:13,971
right here, inside all of us.
366
00:15:13,989 --> 00:15:16,140
I am always coughing up blood.
367
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:18,943
Could that be Leap Day William
trying to get out?
368
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:22,997
Might could be, but I think if
he were here right now,
369
00:15:23,031 --> 00:15:24,916
Leap Day William would tell you
370
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:28,870
everything's gonna
be all right, Tracy,
371
00:15:28,921 --> 00:15:32,557
as long as you remember
where you come from.
372
00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:34,325
Thanks.
373
00:15:34,359 --> 00:15:35,660
Nice costume, by the way.
374
00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:38,696
Right, costume.
375
00:15:43,602 --> 00:15:46,520
So, what should we do now?
376
00:15:46,555 --> 00:15:48,739
Stop pressuring me.
377
00:15:48,774 --> 00:15:51,342
What are you?
An intercourse monster?
378
00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:54,478
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous.
379
00:15:54,512 --> 00:15:59,016
Is sex like when the Na'vi
intertwine their hair braids?
380
00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:00,384
Sure.
381
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:04,088
Yeah, Thad, that's exactly
what it's like.
382
00:16:04,122 --> 00:16:05,907
Okay, look, if we're
gonna do this,
383
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,209
we kinda need to do it now,
okay, before...
384
00:16:09,328 --> 00:16:11,329
Oh, no.
385
00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:15,700
Aw, damn it.
Hot bitches.
386
00:16:18,084 --> 00:16:19,384
Wake up, sir!
387
00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:21,405
Wake up.
388
00:16:23,158 --> 00:16:25,276
What is this?
389
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:26,610
Kenneth, is that me?
390
00:16:26,645 --> 00:16:28,846
Oh, I'm not Kenneth.
391
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,831
I'm the spirit of Leap Day.
392
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:34,018
Welcome to your Leap Day past.
393
00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:36,554
Jackie, we can't go
to the parade today.
394
00:16:36,588 --> 00:16:42,059
I got called into work... at the
hospital... where I'm a nurse.
395
00:16:42,094 --> 00:16:44,628
Why are you showing me this?
396
00:16:44,663 --> 00:16:45,963
This is the kind of adversity
397
00:16:45,997 --> 00:16:48,132
that made me the man
I am today.
398
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,967
Good. Cry.
399
00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:52,169
Let your sadness
form a hole inside you
400
00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:53,604
that can only
be filled with money.
401
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,640
Of course we're going to
the parade today, Jackie.
402
00:16:56,675 --> 00:16:58,743
But you can't have
candy and cigarettes
403
00:16:58,777 --> 00:17:00,511
without a few tears first.
404
00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:01,979
How did I forget this part?
405
00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,081
And when did we stop giving
children cigarettes?
406
00:17:04,116 --> 00:17:06,233
It's the liberal war
on Leap Day.
407
00:17:06,284 --> 00:17:09,487
It's time to go,
Mr. Donaghy.
408
00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:13,791
Welcome to Leap Day present.
409
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,760
Okay, I'll change
me eye color,
410
00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:18,295
but it seem like
a waste of voodoo.
411
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:21,882
Good night, Mr. Donaghy.
412
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,434
Sorry, baby.
413
00:17:23,468 --> 00:17:25,669
Daddy not coming home
tonight because of work.
414
00:17:25,704 --> 00:17:27,555
It's a good lesson.
415
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,473
This will help her in life.
416
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:32,510
Are you sure?
417
00:17:32,544 --> 00:17:34,211
Welcome to the future.
418
00:17:34,246 --> 00:17:36,213
Five leap days from now.
419
00:17:36,231 --> 00:17:37,214
That's Liddy.
420
00:17:37,249 --> 00:17:40,017
I assume this
is her horse stable
421
00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:43,087
and that she's hammering
that nail as a funny joke.
422
00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:44,188
No, Mr. Donaghy.
423
00:17:44,222 --> 00:17:46,624
She's doing habitat
for humanity.
424
00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:48,659
After you missed
all her leap days,
425
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,095
she started experimenting
with liberalism.
426
00:17:51,129 --> 00:17:53,230
That's not her.
It can't be.
427
00:17:53,265 --> 00:17:55,065
What have you done
with my daughter?
428
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:56,417
Where is Liddy?
429
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:59,003
She's at home, sir.
430
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:02,006
With the nanny.
431
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,240
There's still time.
432
00:18:03,258 --> 00:18:05,742
Kenneth, I want you
to go to citarella
433
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,628
and buy the biggest
rhubarb there is.
434
00:18:07,679 --> 00:18:09,079
The one that's
as big as me, sir?
435
00:18:09,097 --> 00:18:10,914
That's the one.
436
00:18:10,932 --> 00:18:14,751
But first, you take Rebecca
Birdstein to the vet.
437
00:18:14,769 --> 00:18:16,053
What a Mitzvah.
438
00:18:16,087 --> 00:18:17,888
Merry Leap Day, sir.
439
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,773
Merry Leap Day to us all!
440
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,277
Liz, why don't you go and...
441
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,695
Get you and Karolina
some drinks?
442
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,096
Okay, fine.
443
00:18:26,114 --> 00:18:29,116
Looks like this time the male
will be in the Czech.
444
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,903
That kind of wit is a thing
she will never give you.
445
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:36,273
Hey, Liz, a gym teacher on
a sex tour of Indonesia called.
446
00:18:36,308 --> 00:18:38,075
He wants his shirt back.
447
00:18:38,109 --> 00:18:40,477
Okay, that's solid, Kurkova.
448
00:18:40,512 --> 00:18:43,130
That's a good burn.
449
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,133
What was that old man
trying to tell me?
450
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,887
What am I gonna do with
all this free food?
451
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,138
Remember where I came from.
452
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,425
But we all came from the sea.
Sea?
453
00:18:54,459 --> 00:18:57,311
Like the letter "C",
which is part of the alphabet.
454
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,730
Alphabet soup.
455
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,166
Soup kitchen.
456
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,768
- Kitchen...
- No, no, don't keep going.
457
00:19:04,802 --> 00:19:06,904
The kitchen debate
with Richard Nixon.
458
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,639
Richard M. Nixon.
459
00:19:08,673 --> 00:19:10,341
The M-train.
460
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:12,710
Soul train.
461
00:19:12,744 --> 00:19:15,312
Chicken soup for the soul.
462
00:19:15,347 --> 00:19:17,448
Chicken soup.
463
00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:21,151
Soup kitchen.
464
00:19:21,169 --> 00:19:24,171
This is a Leap Day miracle!
465
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,125
Merry Leap Day, tourists.
466
00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:32,596
Merry Leap Day, closeted gay
guys meeting in the city.
467
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:35,299
♪ God bless you on
this Leap Day fair ♪
468
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:38,018
♪ a calm wind
and the ocean air ♪
469
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,103
Really?
470
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,837
Seriously 20 million bucks?
471
00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:42,973
I would sleep
with Thad Warmald for that.
472
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,108
Couldn't go through with it.
473
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,442
You know, I just kept
seeing your face.
474
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:46,710
Also, I have too much dignity.
475
00:19:46,745 --> 00:19:48,362
Mmm, so another woman?
476
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,980
- Victoria's secret model.
- Oh.
477
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:53,016
Feast, homeless, feast!
478
00:19:58,290 --> 00:20:00,658
I saved Leap Day!
479
00:20:00,692 --> 00:20:03,694
And connected with my son!
480
00:20:03,712 --> 00:20:07,030
And I solved the big case
from earlier!
481
00:20:07,048 --> 00:20:10,134
Merry Leap Day, everybody!
482
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,336
Hey!
Take a leap, pal!
483
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,705
That's the spirit!
484
00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:17,074
♪ Leap Day magic's
all around ♪
485
00:20:17,108 --> 00:20:20,043
♪ as Leap Day William
comes to town ♪
486
00:20:20,061 --> 00:20:23,981
Happy Leap Day,
sweetheart.
487
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,582
Yes!
488
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:27,918
♪ He knows when you
are bad or good ♪
489
00:20:27,953 --> 00:20:30,270
♪ he knows
when you're asleep ♪
490
00:20:30,322 --> 00:20:32,389
♪ he knows...
Oh, my God, behind you!
491
00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:37,694
Well, I guess we all
learned something tonight
492
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,600
about love and friendship,
493
00:20:39,601 --> 00:20:41,166
about taking chances,
494
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:43,923
about the true
meaning of Leap Day.
495
00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:47,437
But, these lessons aren't good
just for every four years.
496
00:20:47,471 --> 00:20:49,672
No. They're good
every year.
497
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:53,109
Because we should live
every day
498
00:20:53,143 --> 00:20:56,246
as if it's Leap Day,
and every Leap Day
499
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,398
as if it's your last.
500
00:20:58,449 --> 00:21:02,151
Oh, and if you should ever see
an old man in a blue suit
501
00:21:02,186 --> 00:21:04,404
busting out of the middle
of the ocean,
502
00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,522
take the time to say howdy.
503
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:09,859
It might just be
worth your while.
504
00:21:12,407 --> 00:21:15,907
Sync by Sp8ky and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com