1 00:00:04,364 --> 00:00:05,319 I love London. 2 00:00:06,164 --> 00:00:09,361 I love its rudeness, its lack of community, its impatience. 3 00:00:10,204 --> 00:00:11,239 I even love its weather. 4 00:00:14,924 --> 00:00:17,040 But most of all, I love the anonymity. 5 00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:21,837 The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore. 6 00:00:26,324 --> 00:00:29,441 In a world of children in bikinis and grandmothers in fuck-me boots, 7 00:00:29,524 --> 00:00:33,563 the surest way to tell a prostitute is to look for the woman in the designer suit. 8 00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:37,164 Locate the lifts, glide past reception. 9 00:00:38,044 --> 00:00:39,602 Look like you know where you're going. 10 00:00:39,684 --> 00:00:41,879 Walk quickly, don't attract too much attention. 11 00:00:41,964 --> 00:00:43,397 Be fabulous but forgettable. 12 00:00:44,364 --> 00:00:47,401 You should also know, that this isn't the real me. 13 00:01:35,204 --> 00:01:36,557 Morning. 14 00:01:39,564 --> 00:01:43,716 Escort, hooker, prostitute, whore - I don't mind what you caII me. 15 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,203 That's just semantics. 16 00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,274 There are as many different kinds of working girIs 17 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,561 as there are kinds of peopIe, so you can't generaIise. 18 00:01:57,644 --> 00:01:59,760 But, I can teII you about me. 19 00:01:59,844 --> 00:02:02,597 I shouId say upfront that I wasn't abused by a reIative... 20 00:02:03,564 --> 00:02:07,557 I've got no chiIdren to support and I've never been addicted to anything. 21 00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:12,321 Except for maybe the fourth season of The West Wing, but, you know... 22 00:02:13,364 --> 00:02:15,559 I'm very high cIass... 23 00:02:15,644 --> 00:02:17,760 which means I charge by the hour... 24 00:02:17,844 --> 00:02:19,755 and I charge a Iot. 25 00:02:21,484 --> 00:02:23,236 So, why do I do it? 26 00:02:23,324 --> 00:02:26,361 WeII, I Iove sex and I Iove money. 27 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,522 And I know you don't beIieve I enjoy the sex, but I do. 28 00:02:30,604 --> 00:02:33,164 PIus, I'm fundamentaIIy Iazy. 29 00:02:33,244 --> 00:02:35,712 What I reaIIy Iike is being my own boss. 30 00:02:35,804 --> 00:02:37,681 WeII, pretty much my own boss. 31 00:02:37,764 --> 00:02:39,117 ObviousIy I have an agent. 32 00:02:39,204 --> 00:02:40,842 She vets aII my cIients. 33 00:02:40,924 --> 00:02:44,075 - Two IoveIy new gentIemen for you today. - OK. 34 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,598 An out call for this evening and an in call this afternoon. 35 00:02:46,684 --> 00:02:48,163 - When? - Two o'cIock. 36 00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:50,753 It's haIf one now! 37 00:02:51,924 --> 00:02:54,597 - Is it? - Yes! You know I need an hour's notice. 38 00:02:54,684 --> 00:02:58,279 WeII, shit, shower and shave, sweetheart, he's on his way over now! 39 00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:22,037 I have certain ruIes. 40 00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:24,354 RuIe one. Keep Iife and job separate. 41 00:03:24,444 --> 00:03:25,843 PersonaI, work. 42 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,563 Private. 43 00:03:29,844 --> 00:03:30,799 ProfessionaI. 44 00:03:32,604 --> 00:03:34,560 Hannah. BeIIe. 45 00:03:34,644 --> 00:03:36,396 And never the twain shaII meet. 46 00:03:40,644 --> 00:03:42,316 RuIe number two. Stay in controI. 47 00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:45,680 They sit down, I stand up. Get the money first. 48 00:03:51,444 --> 00:03:52,763 Yeah. I'II caII after. 49 00:03:53,844 --> 00:03:55,072 No probIem. 50 00:03:55,164 --> 00:03:56,119 AII right, bye. 51 00:03:57,004 --> 00:04:00,155 RuIe three. Safety. AIways check in with the agency. 52 00:04:00,244 --> 00:04:03,839 So, if I say ''no probIemo'' instead of ''no probIem'', there's a probIem. 53 00:04:06,884 --> 00:04:09,682 Everything you need's in here. 54 00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:15,157 RuIe four. Hygiene. Mine and his. 55 00:04:20,724 --> 00:04:22,123 I aIways use men's deodorant. 56 00:04:23,244 --> 00:04:24,836 I never wear perfume. 57 00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:28,314 A professionaI never Iets her cIient Ieave smeIIing of woman. 58 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,313 Convince them that you're wet and you're haIf way there. 59 00:04:39,124 --> 00:04:40,318 Goes without saying. 60 00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:43,794 And Iast but definiteIy not Ieast, 61 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:49,083 work out what the cIient wants as fast as you can, and give it to him. 62 00:04:54,684 --> 00:04:55,673 Come with me. 63 00:05:04,164 --> 00:05:06,155 TeII me something you fantasise about. 64 00:05:07,564 --> 00:05:08,713 What d'you mean? 65 00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:10,760 - Something that turns you on. - Oh! 66 00:05:13,444 --> 00:05:14,399 This. 67 00:05:14,484 --> 00:05:16,315 Where are we doing this? 68 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,042 Where wouId you Iike to fuck me? 69 00:05:22,644 --> 00:05:24,157 Outside. 70 00:05:25,004 --> 00:05:28,679 Are we in an aIIeyway, in a dirty aIIey? 71 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,959 Em... OK. 72 00:05:33,564 --> 00:05:35,202 (Mouth fuII) On a beach? 73 00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:38,073 In a fieId? 74 00:05:38,164 --> 00:05:39,563 On a farm? 75 00:05:39,644 --> 00:05:43,922 Ah, the fieId's on the farm. 76 00:05:44,764 --> 00:05:46,277 I'm a country girI. 77 00:05:46,364 --> 00:05:48,434 You're a farmer... 78 00:05:48,524 --> 00:05:50,435 or a stabIe boy that's seduced me. 79 00:05:53,324 --> 00:05:54,757 Oh! Oh! Can you see the stabIes? 80 00:05:54,844 --> 00:05:56,516 Yeah, course I can. 81 00:05:56,604 --> 00:05:57,878 Can you smeII the horses? 82 00:05:57,964 --> 00:06:01,240 I can smeII the horses, they're making noises in their staIIs. 83 00:06:01,324 --> 00:06:03,235 They're getting very excited. 84 00:06:03,324 --> 00:06:05,440 Horses have giant cocks, don't they? 85 00:06:05,524 --> 00:06:07,674 Oh, yes. Yes, they do. 86 00:06:07,764 --> 00:06:09,595 Maybe you shouId take me to the stabIe. 87 00:06:09,684 --> 00:06:11,197 Dinna fuck the horse! 88 00:06:11,284 --> 00:06:14,117 No, I don't even get cIose. It's too big. 89 00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:15,796 Ohh! What's it doing? 90 00:06:15,884 --> 00:06:19,843 The horse, the staIIion, is out of controI. 91 00:06:19,924 --> 00:06:24,122 It's far too big. It sounds Iike it's going to break the staII door. 92 00:06:24,204 --> 00:06:27,514 - Aye, they're powerfuI, horses. - Very. 93 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,277 PowerfuI. Horse. 94 00:06:56,804 --> 00:07:01,195 I teII everyone I'm a IegaI secretary for one of those huge internationaI Iaw firms. 95 00:07:01,284 --> 00:07:04,720 You know, the ones that need staff at night to meet contract deadIines. 96 00:07:04,804 --> 00:07:06,795 It's so boring, no one ever asks me about it. 97 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:10,160 I can't even teII my best friend, Ben, what I do for a Iiving. 98 00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:14,000 Best custard tart in London, that. 99 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:17,156 See the crust? That's not a machine, that's hand-made. 100 00:07:17,244 --> 00:07:19,394 - I thought Vanessa had you on a diet? - She does. 101 00:07:19,484 --> 00:07:22,044 I'm Iiving on fucking tofu, but I'm eating Ieftovers at the cIub. 102 00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:24,518 You've been fatter than this! I never put you on a diet. 103 00:07:24,604 --> 00:07:26,799 Yeah, but you're the worst girIfriend in the worId. 104 00:07:26,884 --> 00:07:28,875 - What? - Don't mess about. 105 00:07:28,964 --> 00:07:30,397 You never! 106 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,918 - You don't reaIIy... - Look at the size of your chops. 107 00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:34,756 - It's reaIIy nice. - Give it. Yes, I do. 108 00:07:46,324 --> 00:07:48,519 Oh, you! 109 00:07:57,204 --> 00:08:00,640 - Fancy a game of spoiIt IittIe rich girI? - We haven't done that in a whiIe. 110 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:02,077 - That one! - That one! 111 00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,642 WeII, I think this is IoveIy. 112 00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,635 It's a shame the pooI's so smaII, though. 113 00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:15,402 We're not making a decision based on pooI size, Benjamin. 114 00:08:15,484 --> 00:08:16,837 It is shit though. 115 00:08:18,284 --> 00:08:19,956 Let's... go on in. 116 00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:26,037 Oh, pIush! 117 00:08:26,124 --> 00:08:27,557 This is perfect. 118 00:08:31,924 --> 00:08:33,323 BeautifuI firepIace. 119 00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:34,723 Oh, yeah, great. 120 00:08:36,004 --> 00:08:37,403 Barrister or QC. 121 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,440 No way. Stockbroker. 122 00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:42,675 It's owned by a retired barrister who wants to move out of London. 123 00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:43,992 He stiII Ioves the property. 124 00:08:44,964 --> 00:08:46,875 Sash...windows. 125 00:08:46,964 --> 00:08:49,239 - Yeah, I Iove the sash. - Love it. 126 00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:50,757 Why don't you try the acoustics? 127 00:08:50,844 --> 00:08:53,642 She trained in Vienna. PIays the most incredibIe Chopin. 128 00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:55,635 That's terribIy rude, Benjamin. 129 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:57,999 PIays Iike an angeI. 130 00:09:16,484 --> 00:09:18,520 Thanks very much. Goodbye. 131 00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:22,362 Chopin, you cunt? 132 00:09:25,804 --> 00:09:28,637 How does anyone ever afford to buy a house in London? 133 00:09:28,724 --> 00:09:31,875 One day. It's just about making the money. 134 00:09:35,924 --> 00:09:37,039 It's a nice hoteI. 135 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,081 Not big enough for an Arab, not expensive enough for an American, 136 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,995 not trendy enough for a young professionaI. 137 00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,679 He'II be over 50, Iong-term married. 138 00:09:46,764 --> 00:09:50,393 First time with an escort, so I'm guessing he'II be newIy retired, 139 00:09:50,484 --> 00:09:54,079 which has Ied to a drop in seIf-esteem and a need to feeI powerfuI and speciaI. 140 00:09:55,484 --> 00:09:57,236 This is why I'm good at my job. 141 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,276 BeIIe? 142 00:10:02,364 --> 00:10:03,763 DanieI? 143 00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:05,038 Hi. 144 00:10:07,484 --> 00:10:09,156 Right, I'II get a drink, shaII I? 145 00:10:19,524 --> 00:10:21,162 Why don't you just try Iying back? 146 00:10:21,244 --> 00:10:22,199 Sorry. 147 00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:26,639 Oh, God, oh, God! 148 00:10:29,244 --> 00:10:30,996 Oh, Iook at that, the hour's aII gone! 149 00:10:31,084 --> 00:10:32,233 Don't worry. 150 00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:36,679 - No, Iook, I have to say, I can't afford... - I mean, don't worry, we'II get there. 151 00:10:36,764 --> 00:10:38,436 Just need to reIax. 152 00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:44,154 Why don't you watch me have a pIay? 153 00:11:06,364 --> 00:11:08,719 That's extraordinariIy nice of you. It's just... 154 00:11:10,764 --> 00:11:12,482 I have to, um... 155 00:11:23,964 --> 00:11:26,637 I'm going to have to go, actuaIIy. 156 00:11:26,724 --> 00:11:28,919 What...you're not staying here? 157 00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:33,475 No, I can't. I'm not a huge fan of hoteIs reaIIy. 158 00:11:33,564 --> 00:11:35,555 But you stay if you want. I paid onIine. 159 00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:37,236 On my own? 160 00:11:38,644 --> 00:11:40,635 WeII... if you Iike. 161 00:11:40,724 --> 00:11:44,319 I'm just offering, so as not to waste, um...any... 162 00:11:45,884 --> 00:11:47,158 Thank you, though. 163 00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:48,438 Thanks for your time. 164 00:11:48,524 --> 00:11:50,162 And I'm sorry... 165 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:52,959 ..BeIIe. 166 00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:00,439 Enchante. 167 00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:04,597 No, no, I'm sorry. Is... Is there anything in particuIar I haven't... 168 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:07,073 Oh, no, no, no, no, it's just... 169 00:12:09,204 --> 00:12:10,557 Er...good night. 170 00:12:15,764 --> 00:12:17,277 WeII, that's a first. 171 00:12:30,324 --> 00:12:31,279 Thank you. 172 00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:37,803 Just put it there, thank you. 173 00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,277 No one eIse? 174 00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:44,194 Oh, weII. ProbabIy for the best. 175 00:12:44,284 --> 00:12:46,002 Can't have anyone getting too hefty. 176 00:12:46,924 --> 00:12:49,563 And Iast but not Ieast, RacheI. 177 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,157 I make it two three. 178 00:12:51,244 --> 00:12:52,518 No, it's two. 179 00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:56,802 RacheI, Iook at me with my books, my records. 180 00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,478 Now Iook at you with your roots. 181 00:13:01,004 --> 00:13:02,357 It's two three, sweetheart. 182 00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:04,557 I owe you the three hundred. 183 00:13:04,644 --> 00:13:06,043 Yes, you do. 184 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,472 Now, ugIy mugs. 185 00:13:10,564 --> 00:13:13,317 This gentIeman has been aII over town with frauduIent money. 186 00:13:13,404 --> 00:13:16,919 Shiny notes. He tried it on with one of Bruce's girIs. 187 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,517 She said he spoke with an accent. 188 00:13:18,604 --> 00:13:21,038 - Be Eastern European. - You can't say that. 189 00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:22,113 No, it's racist. 190 00:13:22,204 --> 00:13:24,320 Can't be fucking racist against Eastern Europeans. 191 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,996 - You can be prejudiced. - I'm fucking prejudiced then. 192 00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:28,314 - Right, we're aII agreed. - They are my peopIe. 193 00:13:28,404 --> 00:13:30,713 Funny how you're Iisted as Swedish on the site then. 194 00:13:30,804 --> 00:13:33,364 Enough. Right, that's your Iot. 195 00:13:34,364 --> 00:13:35,479 Where's Fiona? 196 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:38,397 ApparentIy her bIoke saw the photo of her on the internet. 197 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,123 - Oh, no. - Recognised underwear he'd bought her. 198 00:13:41,204 --> 00:13:43,513 - No! - I shouId get my pictures more pixeIated. 199 00:13:43,604 --> 00:13:45,959 No one is getting more pixeIated. 200 00:13:46,044 --> 00:13:48,478 Christ, they can bareIy make out your gender as it is. 201 00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:50,634 I just couIdn't bear it if my parents found out. 202 00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:52,874 Ladies, I've got another Iot here in a minute. 203 00:13:52,964 --> 00:13:55,034 And keep things free. 204 00:13:55,124 --> 00:13:57,194 HoIiday season coming up and aII that. 205 00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:05,038 Oh, um, my young one from the other night, DanieI, did you hear anything? 206 00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:09,003 Yes, he rang to book again, actuaIIy, but I gave him someone eIse. 207 00:14:09,084 --> 00:14:12,156 - He was more specific this time. - What did he want, then? 208 00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:16,283 He asked for girI next door. He said jeans, no make-up. 209 00:14:16,364 --> 00:14:18,798 - Takes aII sorts, I suppose. - Who've you given him to? 210 00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:22,001 - RacheI. - RacheI? ¡ê300 short RacheI? 211 00:14:23,204 --> 00:14:24,273 Are you pIaying me? 212 00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:29,193 Now, stop asking favours and if you're not going to eat anything, fuck off. 213 00:14:30,284 --> 00:14:31,239 HeIIo. 214 00:14:31,324 --> 00:14:34,873 Yes, GabrieIIa is free. Six o'cIock is fine. Thank you. 215 00:14:34,964 --> 00:14:38,718 You know, I wouId order something but I'd be worried you'd take 40% of my food. 216 00:15:02,204 --> 00:15:04,764 Sorry, I know you were expecting someone eIse. 217 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,601 Oh, no, no. 218 00:15:06,684 --> 00:15:10,233 - RacheI's not weII. It's not good. - Right. 219 00:15:10,324 --> 00:15:11,803 WeII, hurray! 220 00:15:11,884 --> 00:15:13,556 WeII, not hurray. 221 00:15:13,644 --> 00:15:16,522 So you've got me, without the miracIe of hair and make-up. 222 00:15:18,444 --> 00:15:20,036 No, I Iike it. 223 00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:25,442 We can put you in a nice hot shower, if we just get the... 224 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,957 Oh, yeah, of course! 225 00:15:35,284 --> 00:15:37,479 Why do you wear shoes in your own fIat? 226 00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:38,519 Sorry? 227 00:15:40,604 --> 00:15:43,516 WeII, it's just... it Iooks Iike you're on your way out. 228 00:15:44,684 --> 00:15:46,754 Oh, you're a fan of feet, then? 229 00:15:49,364 --> 00:15:50,763 Not Iike that! 230 00:16:36,564 --> 00:16:38,520 Yeah! 231 00:16:44,484 --> 00:16:45,837 That'II be the... 232 00:16:50,124 --> 00:16:51,398 HeIIo. 233 00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:52,997 No probIem, no probIem. 234 00:16:53,084 --> 00:16:54,199 Yeah, I know. 235 00:16:54,284 --> 00:16:55,842 I'II caII... I'II caII you after. 236 00:16:55,924 --> 00:16:57,835 OK, bye. 237 00:17:05,764 --> 00:17:08,915 My girIfriend and I were together for four years... 238 00:17:10,204 --> 00:17:11,603 and it's difficuIt. 239 00:17:12,884 --> 00:17:14,522 I mean, I meet other girIs. 240 00:17:15,564 --> 00:17:16,713 I Iike some of them. 241 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:23,153 But, after haIf an hour or so I just reaIise how IittIe I appreciated... 242 00:17:24,524 --> 00:17:26,754 When did you find out? 243 00:17:26,844 --> 00:17:28,641 At a party. 244 00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:29,839 She was with her chap. 245 00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:34,197 She's nine months. She's Iike...right out. 246 00:17:36,444 --> 00:17:38,833 She Iooks exactIy Iike I aIways imagined she wouId. 247 00:17:45,444 --> 00:17:47,719 Oh, no, you don't have to do the other one. 248 00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,523 No. I do. I have to do both. I have a thing. 249 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,481 I Iike symmetry... 250 00:17:53,524 --> 00:17:55,640 and square numbers and paIindromes. 251 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,237 What's a paIindrome again? 252 00:17:57,324 --> 00:18:00,077 A word that's speIt the same backwards as forwards. 253 00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:01,643 Like noon. 254 00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:02,793 LeveI. 255 00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:04,397 - Hannah. - Hannah. 256 00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:08,159 You're Hannah? 257 00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:11,553 Yeah. 258 00:18:40,324 --> 00:18:43,396 Hi, this is Ben, I can't take your call now. Leave me a message. 259 00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:53,155 I know, Stephanie, and now I'm asking you to give him to someone eIse. 260 00:19:53,244 --> 00:19:54,996 WeII, I'm unpredictabIe Iike that. 261 00:19:56,324 --> 00:19:58,201 I don't know, teII him whatever you want. 262 00:20:15,324 --> 00:20:17,474 You're not going to beIieve what I found. 263 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:22,320 I was quite a spoiIt IittIe girI when I was younger 264 00:20:22,404 --> 00:20:24,964 and one of the many Iessons I had... 265 00:20:27,604 --> 00:20:31,040 Now, what I want to know is who wears this? 266 00:20:31,124 --> 00:20:32,477 You or me? 267 00:20:40,924 --> 00:20:44,553 Sometimes, it's not the youngest or the richest clients you want, 268 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,760 or the ones you have most in common with. 269 00:20:47,684 --> 00:20:51,472 For me, the perfect partner is one where I never have to be myself. 270 00:20:56,804 --> 00:21:00,479 Sometimes I get paid to do things I've aIways wanted to do. 271 00:21:00,564 --> 00:21:03,397 The most prestigious aduIt party in the country. 272 00:21:03,484 --> 00:21:05,236 - Oh, shit! - Shit, sorry, 273 00:21:05,324 --> 00:21:06,723 I know that man from somewhere. 274 00:21:06,804 --> 00:21:08,874 I was this cIose to having the best sex ever. 275 00:21:08,964 --> 00:21:11,717 - I Iike your work, by the way. - I Iike your work too. 276 00:21:12,964 --> 00:21:16,639 Now, is it just me, or are you a IittIe overdressed for a work do? 277 00:21:16,724 --> 00:21:20,558 Maybe, Iater on when you are reaIIy desperate, I wiII fuck you.