Have you ever identified with a character
and when... let's say they were killed
you're, like, "aw."
Um...
In a movie I have had, tears, like, uh...
- Yeah? - E.T.
- No, not E.T. - E.T.
- You cried at E.T.? - Yeah, I did.
- Really? - Yeah.
What point... at what point did you cry in E.T.?
- When he died. - When he died?
Yeah.
You didn't think he was really dead, did you?
I mean we're the same age... You didn't think
- he was coming back to life? - We were 11.
Mike, you were born the same year I was born, right?
- '67, right. - Okay, hold on.
'Cause I don't think we were 11.
- It came out in '82. - We were not 11.
It came out in 1982. So you were 15.
14.
He'll never phone home again!
Don't you people understand?
Are you not seeing what I'm seeing?
- Help! - Help!
Zap!
Hello and welcome to another episode
of comic book men, the only show
with less testosterone than sex and the city.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Walt Flanagan. - Bryan Johnson.
- Ming chen. - And Michael Zapcic.
If you could pick any comic book character out there,
who would you have a drink with?
One night only.
You, Kevin, and...
The invisible woman.
Sue Richards, 'cause then you would see it going into her.
And it might help you control your own drinking.
'Cause you're, like, "that's what it looks like?"
And you could watch it slowly deteriorate her from inside.
- Mm-hm. - I think she's underage though.
- Seriously. - I know.
That's why I'm asking.
- Mike? - Tony stark.
Oh, man, you'd drink with Tony stark.
He might be trying to 12-step you the whole time.
Oh, the one hero that has a problem with alcohol
and you're, like, "I wanna go with him."
It's almost as if somebody's just, like,
"hey, man, you could bring one guest
to the kryptonite ball."
- Damn right. - And you're, like, "superman?"
- Excuse me. - Yes, hi.
Hi, um, I have a bunch of comic books
I would like to sell.
Okay, what kind of comics are they?
Superhero, monsters Batman, spider-man.
Do you have them with you?
Uh, they're in the car.
I need somebody to help me with the box.
- Is the box heavy? - Yeah.
Okay... ming!
- Just one box? - One box.
It's heavy.
Thank you.
I see you breaking a sweat there, huh?
Can you get the door for me, please?
- Sure. - Thank you.
A lot of books here, Mike.
Back this way.
Hey, you like looking at some comics?
- Hi. - Hi, how are you?
- Name's Walt. - Hi Walt, I'm Mary Anne.
Okay, what do we got here?
Got a bunch of comics.
I came all the way from staten island.
- I lugged this. - Are these yours?
Yeah, my husband found them.
He works with sanitation, and he found them.
He found them at the dump?
Uh, on the curb.
And by "dump" I mean staten island.
Ha ha ha. You're funny.
Who is he? He's funny.
Sometimes it's not easy trying to seal a deal
when Bryan's sitting there and disparaging where she lives.
Did she seem noticeably, like, "hm."
- Oh, yeah. - She was annoyed.
- Really. - Hey, but it's understandable.
She comes in, she thinks she's gonna be conducting business.
She doesn't assume for a second
some guy's just gonna start insulting where she lives.
"So, where are you from?
Oh, that's garbage pit."
Is that what all these seagulls are about
swarming around you?
There goes our staten island business.
There's some nice comics right off the bat.
Ooh, Nick fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. Number 1. Really nice.
Iron man.
Wow, an invincible iron man number 1.
If it was in nice shape,
you'd have quite a find right here.
Oh, justice league number 6.
I just wish it was in better condition.
Ming, anything that's recent, don't even put on the table.
- Right into the garbage. - Garbage? Hey!
We're not gonna really have an interest
in the newer stuff.
These?
Yeah, in the comic world, a ten-year-old comic
is like a comic that came out yesterday.
I just wanna get rid of them.
I'm really not a comic book person.
No insult, I can see you guys are really, uh...
- Into your comics. - No insult whatsoever.
Not everybody can be into something as cool as comics.
Give me 1,000 and you can have the whole tupperware.
And I'll even throw my box in for free.
Whoa!
You wanna be able to help every customer
and be, like, "here's some money for your fine gifts."
- But you can't. - They think it's worth 1,000.
- They want 1,000 for it. - Right.
They just don't seem to understand
it doesn't work that way.
Like, "I opened up a guide and it said $1,000."
So shouldn't I get $1,000?"
I priced them, I did the comic book guide.
I mean, that one book...
The one that has the fantastic four...
That one, it said it was, like, $740.
Right, but someone has written in grease marker,
"10â¢."
- Correct. - And the number 6 on there,
it's not in mint condition.
Okay.
While there are some good books...
Yeah.
There's also a couple stinkers.
I can't do 1,000.
It's gonna be a little lower.
Um, it'll probably be less than 1,000 that I'll get,
so...
I could take just these off your hands today.
I could give you 250.
- $250? - Yes.
Then you might as well just take them,
put them right back in.
And Ming'll put them right back in my car.
- I'll carry them back. - All right.
- Thank you. - What a brief negotiation.
- I mean, really, clearly one... - It's a tough economy.
- You know how it is. - You know what?
They can go right back in my attic.
But you just said you don't wanna carry them around.
See, that... you're in a negotiation.
You know what?
You gotta tell him, like, "250? What are you crazy?"
- Give me 800. - He said he's gonna offer.
There's no negotiations.
I never said there's no negotiations.
- Oh, okay. - But...
Okay, 999.
350.
- No? - No.
- 900. - Not a chance.
- Not a chance.
- 350's not a... - Big gap there.
Well, that's... You know what?
- Very big gap, um... - How about 700?
And you could have them.
How about... 375.
Listen, 700.
I came down from 1,000 to 700.
You're stuck at 300.
You know, unfortunately that is probably the best
I'm gonna be able to do today.
- Okay. - All right?
What about a commission-type deal?
Where you take the comics, you sell them
and take a commission off each one?
- We have done that in the past. - What's the commission?
We've sold collections for people,
we take 20% off the sale.
So you get 80% of the sale.
Out of your hair, we're doing a lot of work for you.
Well, you don't understand the attachment she has
to something found in the garbage.
- I understand. - From staten island.
15 years ago.
Why don't we leave them here in new Jersey?
Yeah? You wanna do that?
- Yeah, I'll do it. - All right.
- A marriage. - A marriage.
- Mazel tov. - I'm not happy.
Take it out to the front. Thank you.
- All right. - Thank you very much.
And we'll get on this immediately.
Okay, thank you.
This is where I sit dispensing my wisdom.
I'm like Solomon over here.
Dividing right and left.
It's times like that I wonder, like, you know,
maybe we should...
Keep me on your team?
I've been dying to ask, how did the commercial go?
The commercial was my brainchild, I'll have to admit.
I rallied these guys and I was like, "we gotta do this."
This is something you've been talking about forever.
Walt's forever been, like,
"we should put a commercial on TV."
And I was, like, "I don't know, man."
All right, guys, I need ideas.
So hit me with some ideas.
What's something that we can utilize
to really, just, like,
we punch them in the face, and we're out.
And then they come to see us,
"why did I just get punched in the face?"
What's hot right now? What are the kids into?
Toys? Kids like toys.
Okay, well, we'll shoot our toy section.
That's a good idea. What else?
I know what's hot right now.
Isn't, like, gay kissing hot right now?
Like, glee and everything?
How about... would you guys be into that maybe
for, like, real quick?
Just doing a quick smooch on camera?
- Me and Mike? - Yeah.
- Come on, guys. - No.
Absolutely not.
- That's where I draw the line. - That's...
All right, we don't have a lot
of resources for this,
but I think that's where we embrace it then.
Like, tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top,
bad, bad, bad commercial.
So the idea is to, like, go out there with something
that people would stop... Not, like, you know
it's intentionally bad but you want it to come across
like you were serious and earnest.
Yeah, exactly.
But it's so stunningly unprofessional.
Yeah, stupid and just, like, wooden
and I said I got my guys, they're wooden.
- Yeah. - They can do it.
- You know, shot on cheesy video. - Right.
Bad graphics popping up.
I mean, it truly is a spectacle.
Right.
And anybody who's watching TV...
- How'd this get on? - Exactly.
That's what we're looking for.
What the hell is this?
- Who's gonna direct this? - Uh, what about Bryan?
Bryan directed vulgar, right?
He did.
So you don't reach out
to the obvious directorial talent
to headline the commercial?
I thought he did.
If you wanna stop someone dead in their tracks
from getting up, going to the bathroom
or changing the channel, turn to the director of vulgar.
It is an awesome exploitation movie,
one that inspired me eventually to make red state.
So it stands to reason that they would turn to you
to direct the disturbing, almost David Lynchian commercial
for the secret stash.
Okay, boys, I've locked the front door.
It's just us.
I think we're in for a long night,
'cause we're not leaving here till we come up with 30 seconds
of complete dog feces.
Who's ready to make a little local history?
Holy crap.
I got the call from Walt.
I'm ready to bust out my directing chair.
Dust it off.
Start earning this store some business.
See, I knew the days and weeks and months of hanging out here
would eventually pay off.
What was your contribution to this as director?
They had an unformed ball of Clay, right?
Yeah, it was in the larval stage if you will.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, a pupae.
You were the guy, you were the arbiter
of what the spot would be, man.
And he knew who to come to.
He's, like, "I need crap."
"Who can bring it to me?"
All right, let's get lined up for the first shot.
- Let's do it. - Front of store.
- Boom, right here. - All right.
- You ready? - I'm ready.
All right.
- Holy. - Who's holding up the cue card?
- Cue cards ready? - Cue cards ready.
This is the first line in what's gonna be
the greatest commercial ever filmed.
This is a big moment.
The stash's first commercial.
- You ready? - Ready.
Whew!
And...
Action!
You want comics?
We got that!
- Cut. - Do it again?
We better do it again, it wasn't recording.
Ooh.
- Got some fireside books. - Whoa.
This could be the very first trade paperback
in the history of comic books.
I know there's some stuff in here that's pretty old.
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
That is actually awesome.
It's gotta be in the top 25 most valuable
comics in the world.
You saw Ghostbusters in the theaters, right?
People will go nuts when you say stuff like this,
but I never really had any particular affinity
for Ghostbusters.
Get out!
The friendship's been a nice ride, but...
- Hey, man. - Hey.
What's goin' on? How's it going?
- Good. - You need any help?
Yes, well, I'd like to help you guys out
- and, uh, unload some books, perhaps. - Okay, got some stuff to sell?
- Yeah. - Wow.
- Got some fireside books. - Whoa, wow.
Um, some marvel and DC.
This very well could be the very first trade paperback
in the history of comic books.
The fireside books really are kind of the first
graphic novels or, you know, collections
of storylines that are made up
of 10, 12 different separate issues of a comic book,
all collected under one cover they called a "trade paperback."
First time that kind of legitimized comics
and put them in book stores.
Yes.
Right on the shelves with, like, Shakespeare.
- Yes, and the joy of sex. - Exactly.
The only two books we can ever name
off the top of our heads.
- I had this as a kid. - Me too, yeah.
This is how I discovered... Was able to read
the first appearances of the characters.
- Oh, yeah. - Where'd you get them from?
Well, these are actually my dad's.
He was getting rid of some stuff
when he was retiring, and I got his secret stash
treasure box.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't say "secret stash."
- You owe us $4. - Yeah.
They're not in that great of shape.
I mean, the back covers have a lot of wear on the back.
That's where his dad beat his ass with the book.
You don't gotta bring it up.
Could you imagine being that kid opening that book
for the first time?
You're, like, you get one story
like, of spider-man or something... you're, like,
"whoa, that was amazing."
Turn the page and then you're into the world of daredevil.
Then you turn the page you're into the world of iron man.
Putting them all under one cover
is just brilliant marketing, man.
Then close it and you're back in the real world.
Yeah.
So you're looking to make some cash.
Yeah, I need to get that cash,
I gotta convert books to cash right now because, um,
I'm trying to fund a dream, basically.
I'm an aspiring stand-up comedian.
- So I want to... - Really?
Yeah, trying to.
Uh, so I'm trying to get a little cash
so I can take some time off work, just kinda...
Devote all your time to your craft.
Trying to, yeah.
Well, what are you looking for for these five?
For five of them I'd like to get 400.
- 400. - 400.
- So you want $80 a pop, huh? - Just 400 for all of them.
We don't have to really even think about it too much
I think... Just, you know.
Well, that's... We have to think about it
a little bit more than you do.
- Okay. - What do you think, Mike?
What do you think we can get for the superhero women, Bry?
This is all the first appearances
of all the great women in marvel comics.
- 60. - 60, okay.
Okay, origins is probably the most sought after one
'cause it has all the big guns in it.
The spine's unfortunately, um, brittle.
- Give me a number. - Um...
- 80. - America at war.
Um...
- That actually... - Rarity, 100.
That's even more rare than the superhero ones.
- 100, 125. - 100, okay.
Uh, bring on the bad guys
surprisingly in really good shape.
- Okay. - Uh, 100, 125.
All right, and then the son of the origins?
Um, this one...
- 50. - Okay.
All right, so with that, we're probably gonna get
415 for these books here.
Okay, that's great. I'll take 415.
Okay, well we're not... Well, what are we gonna sell...
You don't understand, we have to make a profit on them.
If we're gonna sell them for $415, what's the best
we can offer this gentleman today?
- 200. - Uh...
I think that's fair, 200.
Can you do 375?
I cannot.
If we could do 350,
that can help me out a little bit.
- We can do 2. - Yeah.
325?
2.
315? Meet somewhere in the middle?
2.
What if he makes you laugh?
Throw in that extra couple bucks.
It's not the easiest thing in the world to make
this guy laugh... you've been working here ten years
you haven't done it once.
So...
- 300 if you make me laugh. - Whoa.
- 200 if you don't. - That sounds fair.
Come on, you gotta have confidence in your material.
I know, people tell me that, people tell me that.
Before I even tried to make clerks,
I went one night to do open Mike stand up.
And I didn't tell anybody.
I didn't tell you guys, I didn't say anything
'cause I was terrified.
I didn't know if I'd go up there and bomb
and I didn't want, like, you guys to be there
the rest of my life and be, like,
"remember that time you went up on stage?
It was so terrible."
- So I went by myself. - How'd it feel?
When I got off the stage, I never wanted to go back.
I was not, like, this is what I wanna do.
I was too intimidated
and I realized I could never deal
with that kind of rejection.
Wanna hold a Mike or something?
- Do you have...? - Here hold these scissors.
- Go right ahead. - Um...
Uh, I always thought, uh, you know, Professor X
made such a smart purchase with the x-jet.
Can you imagine being cyclops waiting for Wolverine
at airport security?
"Hey bub, my skeleton's made of metal,
let me just walk through."
"But you got knives in your hand, Wolverine."
"All the better to poke you with, you old lady."
- Uh-oh. - Oh, boy.
Uh-oh.
He failed miserably.
Why can't you have a comic who just does
"hey man, I saw spider-man swinging by the other day."
Exactly, that's what I... I told the guy.
I was, like, I think you're on to something.
Yeah, yeah.
This guy was gonna be the first comic book comedian.
And I wouldn't be surprised five years from now...
If someone stole his idea and did it better.
All right, you didn't make me laugh
but what I said, 200 bucks, right?
All right.
All right, man.
- Thank you. - Thank you and...
Work on it, 'cause I think you are on to something.
- Thank you, appreciate it. - All right, man.
- Good luck, man. - Thank you.
That was irresponsible of you to give him a dime
towards that dream.
And action!
So what kind of intense am I bringing?
- Am I, like... - You're like a carnival barker.
- That's who you are. - Okay, so I'm like...
Maybe I'll be, like...
Mm-hm. Yeah, like a spidey stance.
- Okay. - There you go.
- All right. - You ready?
I'm ready.
Action!
We only don't have the best selection of comics for sale,
blah-LA-LA!
Beep!
We don't only have the best selection of comics at... ooh.
That's a mouthful, man.
- Slow down. - Is it ming's fault?
- Is he shaking the cards? - No.
It's not ming's fault, you know,
I'm just a little nervous.
Give me one more shot at this.
Acting's harder than you thought?
- Of course. - All right.
If it was easy everybody would be doing it.
- All right, you ready? - Ready.
Action!
We don't only have the best selection of comics for sale
at Jay and silent Bob's secret stash!
At Jay and silent Bob's secret stash,
you can sell your comics for cash!
Cut. Very good.
Walt brought an energy that you have not seen since,
uh, the crazy Eddie commercials.
- I was excited about this. - That's a high bar to hit.
Crazy Eddie was a TV pitchman.
They sold stereo equipment, TVs...
Electronics.
But this dude was on commercials he was, like,
"it's crazy Eddie, the prices are... insane!"
He just worked that camera, so that was the approach.
The approach of, like, almost a... crazy Walter.
He has the eyes going, he's got the psycho eyes.
- Acting is all in the eyes. - Yeah.
And he had energy to spare.
All right, Walt, you ready?
Action.
It's no secret that at the secret stash we've got
the largest selection of comics and comic related products
in all of central Jersey.
Nice, now do it again. Beep!
It's no secret at the secret stash we've got
the largest selection of comics and comic-related products
in all of central Jersey!
- Cut! We're moving on. - Beep! And action!
You want Jay and silent Bob?
Clerks, mallrats, clerks ii, dogma, and Jersey girl?
Cut! Moving on.
Beep!
All right, so on this one, Mike,
I need you to channel your inner bettie page.
Pretend you're in some animal print
and give me one of these.
- Okay, you ready? - I am.
Look at me now, don't look at those cue cards.
So you got directed by Johnson.
How did you find being directed as an actor
in the hands of a director, herr direktor, Bryan Johnson?
Bryan as a director ruled with an iron fist.
- Yeah. - Crushed us under his heels.
Yeah, it's all about breaking the talent.
- Not communicating with them. - Yes.
You've been in that director's seat.
Everybody has their ideas, everybody has their own vision.
Everyone's a cook, everyone can direct.
All right, Mike, you ready?
- Right. - Saucy, alluring.
Bettie page if she were a dude.
Give me the eyes, Mike. Like, give me the eyes...
- The bedroom eyes? - Your bedroom... yeah.
- Your bedroom eyes. - Mm-hm.
All right, action.
You want action figures, DVDs, collectibles,
and active wear?
We got that!
- One more time. - Wha...?
- Faster. - And spooky.
And more intense... yeah, I know, he looks creepy now.
Yeah, you're not supposed to scare people.
Looks like you should be thrown in jail.
You're supposed to seduce them into the stash.
- Come on in. - The seduction of the geeks.
- We ready? - We are.
Action!
Are you looking for action figures, DVDs,
collectibles, or active wear?
We got that!
Cut! Very good.
All right, Mike, we're gonna dull
the sexiness a little bit.
It's just... It's oozing all over.
It's gonna drip down on ming in a second.
Was he power mad? Did he lose it?
Was he drunk with his own power?
I mean, I love it when you're passionate.
I love it when you're excited about something.
But I mean you went way... You went a little far.
You know, he's saying this now because there were three roles,
three guys to fill those roles,
but he still ended up on the casting couch.
This is truly, like, a major find.
The spine's in great condition.
Wait till you see the other stuff.
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
I've had to let go of a lot of things that are
meaningful to me.
There's only 500 pieces of this in the world.
You're selling it because you just need the cash?
- Hi. - Hi.
Welcome to Jay and silent Bob's.
- What an unusual jacket. - Thank you.
I am interested in selling this Megatron statue.
Wouldn't you like to ask Walt about his interesting hairdo?
Speaking of hairdos...
- What's the story here? - What's going on?
We don't see many people walk in that look like
a human butterfly.
Well, uh, I had always loved mohawks and...
Do you have to do it every day?
Like if you sleep on it, do you get, like, mohawk head?
No, I can actually, like put a t-shirt on
and it'll just pop right back into place.
Can you turn around? Can I see the back?
Wow.
I just look at it and I feel like I'm in, like, some sort of, like...
- Acid trip? - Yeah, definitely.
That is a piece of work.
- All right. - Back to the transformers.
Back to the transformer statue.
There's only 500 pieces of this in the world, Bryan.
Mm-hm.
See the transformers, it's my thing.
You a big transformers fan?
I've always been a big transformers fan,
ever since I was little.
Mm-hm.
- What are you looking for? - Between 100-150.
Why don't we give you a little tip.
I hang around here, I watch things.
When you come in to negotiate, you can't say between 100 to 150
'cause right away, a shark is gonna
smell that blood in the water.
He knows you're gonna take 100.
So boom! You're down to 100 already.
Transformer market for this piece...
I'm afraid that if I buy it
I might only get 65 bucks for it,
so the best I could do for you today
is $50 cash.
I know that's less than what you paid for it but...
And less than the gas money it took to get here.
Uh-oh, she's gonna pull
the pretty chick crying routine, Walt.
She was doing what a lot of girls do,
trying to use... would you say her feminine wiles?
- Trying to get you to, uh... - Was she using sex as a weapon?
- A little bit. - Really.
- She had no idea that... - I don't think so.
Dude has armor. You don't think so?
What? You thought... For that hair...
No, not the hair.
She was pretending she was crying
and she was giving you the lip, mmm... like that.
You think you're gonna bat your eyelashes and get 10% off?
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Taliban of the comic book community
sits at our table.
I'm, like, I wanna service that guy.
Whoa!
- Boom. - Done!
You're breaking my heart, man.
- Yeah, tears won't do it. - Oh.
Um, you're selling it because you just need the cash?
Or you just...
I've been, uh, working on my gallery.
And pretty much every penny that I make, uh,
goes into the gallery.
So I've had to let go of a lot of things
that are meaningful to me.
Like pride, dignity, that sort of thing.
I'm not turning tricks yet, so I'm grateful for that.
Really? How did you manage that?
'Cause I am.
So I can offer you a little bit more, then, for it,
just because I do feel
you're gonna put it to a good cause.
- A gallery, starving artist. - Are you starving?
- Yeah? - All right.
$65, cash.
- To break even. - Sold.
Sold? You got a deal.
What an investor.
For those of you that don't know, Walter
is a comic book artist.
This dude's actually drawn some really legit stuff.
Is it hard to separate yourself?
As an artist, here's this one side
but then it's the hardnosed businessman on this side?
I'm always gonna count myself as a businessman first.
Artist second.
That's why she walked away with 65 instead of 95?
- Yeah. - I mean, you couldn't spare
another 25, 35 for the cause of the arts?
I gave her 65 bucks.
Um...
That's the soul of a true artist.
"I always like to think I'm a businessman first."
"Poetry of art in my soul is very secondary."
- What do you got? - Superhero-type stuff.
- Tights. - All right.
You got a nice rear, so that'll work
and boom!
- Yeah. - Look at that.
Reinforced crotch, you don't gotta worry about anything.
- I'm not wearing blue panties. - Come on, let's go downstairs.
Get you changed.
- You're not coming with me. - Get down there.
I know how small it is, don't worry about it.
The commercial was my brainchild,
I'll have to admit and, um, I had the idea
of creating a price agitator. A price mxyzptlk.
To show the people that we like to charge
fair prices for our products.
Yes!
- And we came up with price mite. - The price mite's a villain.
That's all he wants to do is...
I don't know how he would do it, but he marks up your product
within your own store.
Oh, my God.
- The worst villain there is. - Yeah, that's it.
Just when you think you've got a fair price,
the price mite comes along and Jacks it up?
- Mm-hm. - Yeah.
Yeah.
I know you guys have been waiting
for a little bit.
Every once in a while a new character is created
that will have the longevity of say, a superman, a Batman.
I think I've done it.
With no further delay...
I give you America's newest super villain.
Price mite!
Aah! Ha-ha-ha!
I am the price mite. Scourge of the store!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
You create a character, you see it come to life.
It's gotta feel good.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, it wasn't the, uh...
No thrill of creation? No... like, "yeah, yeah."
At first I thought they'd be superheroes
but then I was just, like, "he doesn't look very heroic."
- Right. - You know?
I'm not just saying that to bust your chops.
I'm just saying, you're more like an imp.
- You're more like... - A pixie.
- Yeah. - A fairy, if you will.
Yeah.
Every super villain needs a super-accessory.
- Oh, my God. - You're all smooth.
- It's creepy. - The scourge of the store.
The enemy of the consumer.
You're sure about that? You're gonna wear that?
Yeah.
Well, let's shoot some stuff with it.
Shoot some, uh, some price mite action?
I keep staring at your bikini, man, it's weird.
Ready to go to work, price mite?
Let's go to work.
Come on, price mite, let's see what you got.
600 is what I could get for them.
You can make more than that on this.
- No way. - You're 100% lying.
This one's kind of really cool.
- Ooh-ho-ho. - Holy God.
I've gotta hold myself up here.
My knees are shaking so bad.
I went to take my kid to school the other day,
drop her off at the bus stop.
And I was wearing a pair of Batman boxer shorts.
They had the big bat signals all over them.
When I say big I mean real big,
'cause I got them from the fat guy store.
So I'm wearing some fat guy Batman shorts,
driving the kid to school, and I look at the gauge
and I see that I'm almost on empty.
So her bus stop is at a gas station.
So I pull up to the pump and I go to get out, she's...
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
My 12-year-old kid literally stops me.
I said, "what's the matter?"
And she's going "don't go out wearing those."
And I was, like, "the Batman shorts?"
She goes, like, "yeah," I was, like,
of my entire clownish attire, it's the Batman shorts
that you object to?
And she didn't want kids from her school seeing that
I was a comics guy.
Which was weird 'cause I'm, like,
"you name is harley Quinn.
"We named you after a Batman villainess.
"If you had been a boy you would have been Batman Smith
"instead of harley Quinn Smith.
So why you're objecting to these shorts is beyond me."
You guys ever thought about doing
a more mainstream comic book?
You guys have done two... Karney, war of the undead.
Not really everybody's cup of tea.
What do you mean "not everybody's cup of tea"?
All right, "karney..."
There's nothing that's everybody's cup of tea.
What's your great mainstream idea for a comic book?
I don't know, short, Asian, not great with the ladies.
Just, you know, an everyman...
How arrogant is that, though, to think that you think
your life story is worthy
to be put onto a comic book page.
Do you have powers, or is it just you?
I don't know.
Like a great superpower, like, controlling technology.
Fail!
Everybody uses social media and the Internet and websites.
How about somebody who can control all that?
A superhero who's, like, awesome at Facebook?
- What's goin' on? - What can we do for you today?
Uh, I'm actually here to sell some comics.
Sweet. Let's see what you got.
I've got the marvel secret wars, the whole set.
What was secret wars?
All the villains in the marvel universe,
all the heroes brought to another world
and forced to battle for an alien entity's whimsy.
One big battle royale.
It's like professional wrestling.
These are yours?
I was actually in, uh, Brooklyn and some guy was selling these
at a garage sale, and he had no idea what he had.
This is the big boy in the lot right here.
This was a big deal because, um, in 1984
it was the very first time spider-man had ever changed
his red and blue costume.
He changed to all black.
Let's talk about the black costume.
I remember the black costume being very cool
when I was a kid... You were, like, "oh, my lord!"
Like it's the absence of all color covering spider-man.
There's no blue, there's no red, there's no webs.
It was just basically him black with a white spider.
But for some reason it really worked
and captured people's imagination
and you liked it the first time?
Well, yeah, he looked bad-ass.
- Right. - All of a sudden, you know?
He looked like he was mean and, uh, he could
come out of the shadows.
Kind of like, you know, a much darker spider-man
than everybody was used to.
It was a really cool thing, man.
What are you looking for for the entire set?
About, you know, 700-800?
It looks like $600 is what I could get for them.
You can make more than that on this.
You could definitely sell these for 1,000.
- No way. - Definitely.
The market right now says I can only afford
to buy the set for what will be 300.
That's impossible.
I would go down to 550 for these and I could leave right now.
I came all the way down from Brooklyn.
You can leave any time you want.
That doesn't matter.
Obviously you guys are gonna sell it for more.
I'm not stupid. You're not gonna...
You really believe that
we're not gonna sell it for 600?
100%. You're 100% lying.
I don't lie to customers.
I'll give you 300 for the whole series.
If you go up to 400,
I'll leave now without being annoying.
Too late.
350.
350, and I'll walk away.
- It's getting closer. - 300.
You're really not gonna go up $50?
My feeling is you got these at a garage sale,
you probably paid less than 10 bucks for them.
I know. I'm not gonna say. Why would I say that?
310. 310, and I swear to God
if giving you that 310 would be...
315 just to pay for the $15 train ticket here.
Go down to 310. What's another $5?
Exactly.
I'll buy it for 300 and sell it to him for 310.
Make a nice $10 profit.
You're supposed to be my yes-man.
If you're not my yes-man, you're useless.
I'm kidding, it's a joke.
It's not funny.
I came in here thinking I'm gonna get around 700.
Now I'm dropping down to 400, 350...
- 310. - 310.
It's hard to be on this side of the counter.
I see that disappointment where people come in
and they overvalue what they have.
- All right, fine. - You've offended him.
Yeah, I don't appreciate your attitude.
- You folded, man. - What attitude?
Come on, man, don't you think,
like, when Donald trump is negotiating he has somebody
over his shoulder being, like,
"I'll give you $10 more."
I'm sure that happens all the time.
If I say the sky is green, you say...
- How green? - Right.
You should have preemptively said the sky is green.
Hi, guys.
He walked out, then five seconds later
- came back in and... - Shot ming in the chest.
Walt literally handed him the register.
I'll take 310 for it.
- You've made a wise decision. - Well, thank you.
All right.
- Well, thank you, guys. - Enjoy.
- Later. - What color is the sky?
The sky's green, sir.
What color is your nose?
Today it's brown, I guess.
Action!
It's no secret that...
You'll walk in a zero
- and walk out a hero. - And walk out a superhero.
- Aw,. - Cut.
You guys must want to go out of business.
Is that what the commercial is for, ming?
- A going-out-of-business sale? - No.
- Pathetic showing. - That is my fault.
These guys are awesome. I screwed that up.
Synch. Stay in synch.
If you're gonna do a local spot you gotta have some unison.
If there's more than one person in the spot, yes,
there is always "we end the commercial together."
I knew that was gonna be a stumbling block.
You think I didn't know that?
I wasn't aware... You should have told me.
And action!
It's no secret that...
You'll walk in a zero...
- And walk out a superhero. - And walk out a hero.
Action!
- You'll walk in a superhero... - What the!
- Action! - You'll walk in a zero...
And walk out a superhero...
- And walk out a superzero! - And walk out a zero!
Come on!
Sometimes you gotta treat them like puppets.
Just put your hand up and work their mouths.
Waah-waah-waah-waah!
It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
This is gonna be the last time.
- I can feel it now. - All right, this is the one.
I can feel it. I promise this is the one.
Come on. Get energized, man.
- Come on, let's do this. - All right, let's go!
Come on. Come on, Mike.
- Yeah! - All right.
- This'll be it. - Hunh!
- Aah! - We can all go home.
And... action!
It's no secret that...
You'll walk in a zero...
And walk out a superhero!
Cut!
Lady, what are you doing to me?
You walked in my shot!
I have some old books that I got from my grandmother.
How old are we talking?
This is gonna call for white glove treatment.
Breathtaking.
- Hey. - Hey, how you doing?
- How you doing? - Good.
- Cool. - Tom, how's it going?
- Walter. - Walter, nice to meet you.
- This is Mike. - Welcome to Jay and Bob's.
- Thank you. - What do you got?
I have some old books that I got from my grandmother.
I know there's some stuff in here that's pretty old.
So I was wondering if maybe you guys could help me out here.
Okay, sure, definitely. Let's take a look.
Don't see many golden age come through.
No, not here.
This is gonna call for, uh, the white glove treatment.
- So right off the bat. - Ooh!
World's best comics, number 1.
Oh, my God.
The spine's in great condition.
- A major find, it is. - It's a rarity.
It's in really nice shape.
I'll just pull all three of these out.
- Superman, breaking the chains. - Wow.
And then there's superman number 12.
He's walking arm-in-arm with a sailor and a soldier.
And then superman number 14. This is America right here.
- Yeah. - You know?
- That is actually awesome. - It's amazing.
- All-star comics, number 8. - Ooh.
- You know what this one is. - First wonder woman.
That's the first appearance of wonder woman?
- Yes, sir. - Yeah.
I actually had no idea.
She's not on the cover anywhere,
but there's a short story of wonder woman in here.
- Really? - Yeah.
If, you know, if you wanna take it out...
- No. - No, no, no, no, no.
Wow, this is amazing. I mean, what else do you have?
Wait till you see the other stuff.
This one's kind of really cool.
- Detective comics number 38. - Oh, my God.
Holy God.
I've seen pictures of it, but I've never actually seen
detective comics 38.
It's the first appearance of Robin.
It's amazing.
It's gotta be in the top 25 most valuable comics in the world.
For real? Like, seriously?
- Yeah. - That is so cool.
I mean, look at Batman's belt. It's blue.
Yeah.
You know that Robin was the start of the sidekick craze
and he spawned a legion of followers
like, uh, bucky, toro the flaming kid,
Roy the super boy.
- Oh, wow. - Aqualad, I mean... yeah.
It's an absolutely breathtaking collection.
Thank you, thank you.
You are sitting on a goldmine here, though.
That's awesome. That's really awesome to hear.
I wouldn't even worry about a middleman, selling to a store.
I would bring them right to the premiere auction house
for selling comic books.
We go through christie's or is it heritage?
- Heritage. - Can you estimate a value?
Like, just by looking at these books?
I couldn't right off the top of my head.
I mean, you're talking already tens of thousands of dollars.
- At the least. - At least.
- Really? - Yeah.
How much money they have in that box you think?
- At least $750,000. - Get outta here.
Yeah.
You don't walk around just, like...
Well, you don't walk around with that,
but you don't walk into our store with that.
I know. But he didn't know.
That's it, now he knows.
Years from now when he's retired on the billions
he's made from selling his collection
he'll be, like, "you know, I once walked into this weird"
"little comic book store in red bank and was given
this excellent piece of advice."
Thanks a lot.
Thank you for bringing them in,
and it was an honor to look at your collection today.
Oh, no problem. I really appreciate it.
It's a collection that's once-in-a-lifetime for us,
I think, to see someone come in with a box like this.
Yes, it's true, you've made two comic geeks very happy.
- That's awesome. - Have a good day, man.
You too. Best of luck with that.
- Thanks a lot. - I'm telling you, man.
I literally gotta hold myself up here.
My knees are shaking so bad
just from looking at those comics.
Those were beautiful.
You collect for years and years
and you never think you're gonna hold
the first appearance of wonder woman.
No.
Or as a comic book collector even hold a woman.
But, um...
All right, man. I've heard about it.
I've laughed about it. Now it's time to see it.
Can I see the spot? Let me see the commercial.
- I got it right here. - Okay.
It's the director's cut, too.
So it's an extended version.
Hit the space bar, and we're good.
- You want comics? - We got that!
You want wonder woman and Wolverine?
We got that.
Are you looking for action figures, DVDs,
collectibles, or active wear?
We got that!
You want Jay and silent Bob, clerks, mallrats, clerks ii,
dogma, and Jersey girl?
- We got that! - We got that!
We got that!
It's no secret that at the secret stash
we've got the largest selection of comics
and comic-related products in all of central Jersey.
At Jay and silent Bob's secret stash,
you ain't gotta worry about unfair prices
sneaking up on you.
- How much is this? - That comic is...
That fine comic is $79, aah-ha-ha-ha!
Oh, no! It's price mite!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Here at Jay and silent Bob's secret stash,
that comic's only $3.99!
We don't only have the best selection of comics for sale
at Jay and silent Bob's secret stash,
at Jay and silent Bob's secret stash, you can sell
your comics for cash!
Cash.
I made cash at the stash.
We made cash at the stash.
I got cash at the stash.
♪
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.Addic7ed.com/