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La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
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Throw it here!
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Nice one, Clyde!
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Get up here!
Hurry!
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What is that?
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A toilet?
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That's right, it's a toilet!
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And where is the toilet seat?
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It's up!
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Because you left it up, again!
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We've been through this
countless times!
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Just not in front of my friends, OK?
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Not OK!
You aren't getting the message!
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What if I had fallen in?
Start listening to me!
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Put it down!
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Thank you.
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That sucks.
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A mom shouldn't be able to put rules
on toilet time like that.
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Toilet time is the last bastion
of American freedom.
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Is your mom always like that?
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Could you guys not say anything
about this at school, please?
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Of course, man.
It's cool.
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"What have I told you
about pissing on the seat?"
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And Clyde's all like,
"Not in front of my friends!"
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- It was actually really lame.
- I know.
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Women are just jealous,
'cause they have to face outwards.
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Wait a minute,
you're supposed to poop facing out?
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But I thought
you seat on the toilet this way.
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So you have that little shelf
for your comic book and chocolate milk.
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Because you got
the flusher right here.
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That's embarrassing.
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There you are!
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Clyde Donovan,
you come home this instant.
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- Why?
- What have I told you
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about putting the toilet seat down
after you go to the bathroom?
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I'm in class!
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How many times do I have to tell you?
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I was trying to get ready for work,
and the toilet seat was up, again!
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Betsy, come back home.
It's not that big a deal.
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No, Roger, it's a disgusting habit.
I'm sick and tired of it!
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If I had sat down,
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You're coming home right now,
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and you're putting the toilet seat
down where it belongs.
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Let's go.
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I'm telling,
it was freaking hysterical.
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Clyde had to get up
in the middle of class,
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and follow his mom home
to put the toilet seat down.
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He was so embarrassed.
I thought he was gonna die.
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I know, fatass.
I was there.
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And his mom goes,
"You're an asshole!"
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"Now, I go toilet water
in my va-jay-jay."
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That's not what she said.
You're putting extras on it again!
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It's not that funny.
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I know, the bathroom's the last bastion
of American freedom.
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Don't you feel
just a little bad for Clyde?
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You should.
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The poor guy shouldn't be screamed at
for something that isn't a big deal.
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- What's going on?
- They're saving Clyde's mom.
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- From what?
- Clyde left the toilet seat up again.
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Hang in there.
You're gonna be fine.
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Stay with me.
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I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do.
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When she fell into the toilet,
she also made it flush.
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It created a suction
that's pulling out here insides.
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Can't we disconnect the toilet
from the plumbing?
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We'll have to, but when we do that,
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the change in pressure
will rip out her organs.
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But she's not gonna die, is she?
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Why'd you leave
the toilet seat up, son?
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I want you to know
I don't blame you for this.
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We should have been harder on you
all those times you left toilet seat up.
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Mom, I'm sorry.
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I don't have a lot of time.
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Just please put the seat down
from now on,
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for your sister's sake.
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Please, let me go!
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Do it!
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I'll always remember Betsy Donovan's
kind nature more than anything.
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She always treated people
with dignity and respect.
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What a tragedy
she had to leave us so soon.
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But I'm sure Betsy is hoping her death
will help women everywhere
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just take that extra second
to look before they seat on a toilet.
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I'd like to say
on behalf of the departed
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that it isn't a woman's responsibility
to see that the seat is down,
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it's a man's responsibility
to put it down.
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It's not hard.
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That's right!
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Putting the toilet seat down
isn't hard.
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So is it too much
to ask women to just look
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and put it down before plopping
their butts blindly to the toilet bowl?
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My God!
This is a funeral!
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Please have some respect!
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There's a little boy here
who has lost his mother.
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He'll never see he again.
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Because he couldn't take
that six tenth of a second
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to put the toilet seat down
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when he was done peeing.
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Now, little Clyde's mother is dead.
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And the blood is on his penis.
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Mom, get the door!
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- The Toilet Safety Administration.
- The what?
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After the recent tragedy,
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new safety regulation requires to check
every toilet for security.
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- Can we come in?
- Sure.
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- Who are these buttholes?
- It's the Toilet Safety Administration.
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They're gonna do something
to the potty.
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My potty?
What they gonna do to it?
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That's my bathroom!
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We'll have to completely redo this.
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You need this counter moved
a minimum of six inches.
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But we'll go ahead
install your safety belt.
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Safety belt?
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Federal law requires all toilets
to be fitted with a safety harness
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so that nobody can fall in.
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You can't make me wear a seat belt
to take a dump!
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This is for your safety.
A woman died, you know.
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But the blood's on Clyde's wiener,
not mine!
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Everywhere he goes,
people are telling him he has blood...
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on his wiener.
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Go on.
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We keep trying to tell him
maybe this all isn't his fault.
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Maybe the people who made the toilet
are the blame for what happened.
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So we were just wondering
if we could sue somebody.
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You can always sue somebody.
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All right!
You see, Clyde?
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We wanna help him sue
whoever invented the toilet.
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You got it.
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Here we go, inventor of the toilet.
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Sir Thomas Harrington.
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Kelston, England.
Died 1692.
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- He's dead?
- So we can't sue him?
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Why not?
You can always sue somebody.
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It's just gonna take
some special protocol.
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We would have to perform...
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a sueance.
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A sueance?
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You bet.
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Here, at Hoffman & Turk,
we specialize in suing the dead.
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If you hire us,
we'll work hard, for you.
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- Really?
- You hear that, Clyde?
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Now, look.
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I'll be asking all of you
to have a very open mind
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and a willingness to face your fears.
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I warn you, boys.
A sueance can be very...
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expensive.
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- How expensive?
- How much do you have?
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Clyde got $3,000
from his mom's life insurance.
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That's exactly
how much a sueance cost.
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That's weird.
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Damn it.
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Hey, officer.
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You need to be wearing
your safety belt, sir.
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I know, I had it on.
I took it off for a second to get the...
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Address here
is 260 Avenue De Los Mexicanos?
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Come on, don't give me a ticket!
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Gotta wear a safety,
or you could fall in.
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I'm not gonna fall in,
I'm not a chick!
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Law's the law, sir.
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You can pay this by mail
or appear in court on that date.
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- Have a good day, sir.
- Thanks, asshole...
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You say something?
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I was talking to my asshole.
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Come on, asshole.
Let's get back to work.
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This is unbelievable.
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Stupid Toilet Safety Administration.
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You can't even take a crap at IHOP
without a 40 minute line.
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Shoes off, belts off.
Sharp objects in the plastic tray.
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- This is inhuman.
- Shut up...
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sir.
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Taking a dump today, ma'am?
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No, just need to pee.
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All right, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
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How about you speed it up in here?
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I'm about to crap my pants.
I demand access to the toilet now.
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All right,
you mind if I touch your balls, sir?
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Yes, I mind.
You mind if I touch your fucking balls?
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I'm done.
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All right, sir, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
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I don't need you wiping my ass for me.
I'm a grown man.
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You're a big boy, aren't you, sir.
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I'm a big boy.
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That's a big boy, sir.
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I'm a big boy.
I took a big boy poo.
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All right, boys,
sit down and clear your minds.
188
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,831
The sueance is about to begin.
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Doors and windows are locked.
You have your $500 in cash ready?
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I have this big bowl set here
for the money we're about to make.
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Now, let us start.
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We call out to the land of the dead.
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Sir John Harrington,
your presence is requested.
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Appear to us, John Harrington.
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We have a subpoena.
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00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,942
Geez, it's not working.
197
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John Harrington.
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00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,697
My client is due
compensation for negligence.
199
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,413
What is your name, spirit?
200
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,833
Bonds, Jimmy Bonds.
What's it to you.
201
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,084
Who are you mugs?
202
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,004
That's how people talked in the past.
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00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,047
We have a claim
against a John Harrington.
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00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,842
Do you know him, spirit?
205
00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:59,218
Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
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00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,471
Might need a little something
to jar my memory.
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00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,975
We gotta grease him.
Put a hundred in the box.
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00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,521
Harrington, I know him.
209
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:13,107
Always going around inventing things.
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00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,567
That's him.
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00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,610
Is his personage amongst you?
212
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,155
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
213
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,406
Give him $100.
214
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,578
I seen him around.
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00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:26,912
He was down that way,
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00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,667
bragging about a porcelain machine
and what have you.
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00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,379
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
218
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,716
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
219
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,094
You can't sue me.
220
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,596
Quick, put another 300 in the box.
221
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,812
This actually went really well.
222
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,441
Always happens a bureaucrat
tries to block the first sueance.
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00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,818
- Good. We'll get him tomorrow.
- That's it?
224
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,279
We'll need another $400 tomorrow.
225
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,158
I know you're sad, Clyde.
Don't worry, we'll win this thing.
226
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,127
Put your coffee
in the plastic tray, sir.
227
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,921
Shoes off.
Belts off.
228
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,593
Got any metal in your pockets?
229
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,385
I just need to check your asshole.
230
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,471
So ridiculous.
231
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,848
Asshole clear.
232
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,851
Pick your coffee up, sir.
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Anyways, he says
I'm getting nothing anyways so...
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00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,568
What's that thing?
235
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:42,029
That's a camera, security camera.
236
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,198
You people have me on camera now?
237
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,366
It's OK, sir.
238
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,202
There's just one person
viewing the monitors
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00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,498
in a discrete location.
240
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,377
Exactly how long
are we going to sit around
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00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,964
as our freedoms are stripped away
one by one?
242
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,714
It's time for us to stand together
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00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:03,634
and say we want the government
out of our bathrooms.
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00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,555
Now, listen.
245
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,099
All we have to do
is agree as a community
246
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,476
to all bolt our toilet seats down.
247
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,896
If they can't raise or lower them,
no one can fall in.
248
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:20,359
Without toilet seats, the government
can't make toilet seat laws.
249
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,285
Hold on! If the seat can't raise up,
the men will pee all over it.
250
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,494
No, we won't.
251
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,248
Yeah, you will.
252
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:36,208
Sorry, women might have to deal
with a little splash of pee on the rim.
253
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,171
It's a far better solution
than the government in our bathrooms.
254
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,046
How about we agree to that,
255
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:44,802
if men agree
to always sit down to urinate.
256
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,511
No, you can't make men
sit down to pee.
257
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,390
How could we play "sink the boat?"
258
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,560
How will Nelson and I make an X
on sleepover nights?
259
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,560
What about us loggers,
260
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,105
hard-working men who like to stand up
after they've taken a poo,
261
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,233
turn around and cut their poo in half
with their urine?
262
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,323
Sorry, but if we don't want
the government treating us like kids,
263
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,492
we might have to give up
peeing our feces in half.
264
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,873
Folks have been logging here
for generations.
265
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:17,710
My pop taught me logging,
and his pop before him!
266
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,252
I think we have to live with the TSA.
267
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,135
The spirits of the dead
are looking over the subpoena.
268
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,971
Motion of summary judgement
on behalf of the plaintiff.
269
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,351
- What's going on?
- The judge declined our motion.
270
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,561
Concentrate more.
271
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,609
This specter is like none
I've ever encountered.
272
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,154
He managed to avert liability
with an injunction against our claim.
273
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,407
So what?
274
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,283
We'll hit him
with a class-action lawsuit tomorrow.
275
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,914
We need all of your friends and families
to sign a petition and kick in $50 each.
276
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,207
What?
277
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,498
Hang in there, Clyde.
278
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,292
This is all to make the world
a safer place.
279
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,390
Security breach.
280
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:45,773
An embarrassing day
for the toilet safety administration.
281
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,734
Shocking outrage ensued
after an unknown terrorist
282
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,195
managed to get through TSA security
283
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,947
with a gun and baby.
284
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,032
Leaving the toilet seat up.
285
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,954
The head TSA chief of operations
had this to say.
286
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,454
Shit.
287
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,542
Meanwhile, outraged civilians
are claiming they're finally fed up
288
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,130
with the overblown
government bureaucracy.
289
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,173
What good is the TSA
if they aren't protecting us?
290
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,802
Why have we given up freedom
if terrorists can take a hostage
291
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,179
with a baby and a gun on the toilet?
292
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,973
And the toilet seat was up.
293
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,140
We've all stood by
294
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,559
as mother government
is taking our dignity.
295
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:23,560
Right!
296
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:27,398
Now, it's time for us
to take responsibility for ourselves.
297
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,110
It is time for us all to grow up.
298
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,152
That's right.
299
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,570
It is time...
300
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,322
for a sueance.
301
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,574
Wait, what?
302
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,159
What the fuck is a sueance?
303
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,371
I'm standing outside
the South Park courthouse,
304
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:46,709
where experts have successfully
summoned the ghost of toilet inventor,
305
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,168
Sir John Harrington.
306
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,255
Now that the spirit
has crossed over from the dead,
307
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,509
lawyers are gonna try and sue him.
308
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,136
Sir Thomas Harrington,
309
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,554
your extreme negligence
has cost taxpayers millions.
310
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,767
You will be sued, spirit.
311
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,021
The liability is without question.
312
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,358
Appear before this court, Harrington.
313
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,068
Never.
314
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,448
Quick, everyone,
get out all your money.
315
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,542
Mom?
316
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,753
This lawyer is a fraud.
317
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,675
He has been swindling you
and your friends for your money.
318
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,427
Fuck me, it's a ghost.
319
00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,969
You can't sue the dead, Clyde.
320
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:43,182
Putting the toilet seat down
is a matter of simple etiquette.
321
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,186
It's common sense.
322
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,353
Here we go.
323
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:50,230
Don't try and blame Mommy's death
on anything but your failure
324
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:53,068
to do something
I asked you time and time again to do.
325
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,693
It's your fault.
326
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,529
Hold on just a second!
327
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,867
It's not anyone's fault.
328
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:04,161
I am sick and tired
of all of this nonsense
329
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,166
over my porcelain toilet machine.
330
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:10,211
There he is.
Sir John Harrington.
331
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,752
Quick, sue him.
332
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,796
You can't sue me.
333
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,510
You're all using my toilet invention
the wrong way.
334
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,845
When you have to sit
and take a Sir Harrington,
335
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,475
you're supposed
to be facing this way.
336
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,645
So you can use the little shelf
for your books, quill and ink.
337
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,524
I told you, you sit on it that way.
I told you.
338
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:34,691
Why would I design it
so that after your Sir Harrington,
339
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,693
you have to stand up, turn around
340
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,948
and look down
at your Harrington to flush?
341
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,489
That's gross.
342
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,789
If you sit on it that way,
you take your pants all the way off.
343
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,331
Why do you think
I designed toilet rooms
344
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,999
with a laundry hole?
345
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,380
That's what that hole is for?
346
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,890
So then Clyde's mom ghost
is all like,
347
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,518
"Clyde, what I have told you,
you asshole?"
348
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:10,978
And Clyde's all like,
349
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,647
"Leave me alone.
I'm seriously, stop please!"
350
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:14,859
It was a riot.
351
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,945
That's not what I said.
352
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,613
I'm just glad
that stupid TSA crap is over with.
353
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,825
You've had a tough week,
but your mom didn't die for nothing.
354
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,911
We're right back to the bathroom
being the last bastion of our freedom.
355
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,414
So technically,
your mum did die for nothing, but...
356
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:34,751
You're there?