1 00:00:00,315 --> 00:00:02,422 Yeah, I have a stamp from, like, every state... 2 00:00:02,423 --> 00:00:04,805 Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, 3 00:00:04,806 --> 00:00:06,757 - Colorado, Connecticut... - Ricky, can you mail this or not? 4 00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:08,259 Delaware, Florida, Georgia... 5 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,144 Sorry, Borten. We've got a serious situation. 6 00:00:10,145 --> 00:00:11,179 Oh. Indiana... 7 00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:12,563 And now you're out of it. 8 00:00:12,564 --> 00:00:15,650 Cameron with the rescue. Saved me from the Bortex. 9 00:00:15,651 --> 00:00:17,735 Oh, the bumping of fists... 10 00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:19,237 Universal sign of not getting any. 11 00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,438 How'd she feel? Was she gentle? 12 00:00:20,439 --> 00:00:22,406 - Shut up. I have... - No clue what you're doing. 13 00:00:22,407 --> 00:00:23,407 Oh, this from the guy... 14 00:00:23,408 --> 00:00:24,659 Who thinks you have no game. 15 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:26,077 Yes, I... Suck. 16 00:00:26,078 --> 00:00:28,613 Look, I've told you before... Melanie's an ice road trucker 17 00:00:28,614 --> 00:00:30,865 trapped inside the body of a telemundo weather girl. 18 00:00:30,866 --> 00:00:32,950 With a woman like that, you gotta go big... 19 00:00:32,951 --> 00:00:34,168 Epic gesture big. 20 00:00:34,169 --> 00:00:35,703 And I've told you before... 21 00:00:35,704 --> 00:00:38,789 I'm not projecting her face on the moon like the bat signal. 22 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,374 (Click) 23 00:00:42,928 --> 00:00:44,545 (Clatter) (Scoffs) 24 00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:47,581 Terrible idea. The craters made her face look like machete. 25 00:00:47,582 --> 00:00:49,183 Just stay out of it. 26 00:00:49,184 --> 00:00:52,186 (Veronica, singsongy) Hola. Hide the bong. Mother's home. 27 00:00:52,187 --> 00:00:53,554 Veronica. How are you? 28 00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:55,523 Ooh. How was Boston? 29 00:00:55,524 --> 00:00:57,858 Ooh. How... how's, uh, how's your daughter? 30 00:00:57,859 --> 00:00:59,860 My kid? Are you kidding me? 31 00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:02,146 Fantastic. Chip off the old block. 32 00:01:02,147 --> 00:01:04,615 I, on the other hand, won't be picking my own lobster 33 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:07,618 out of the tank again anytime soon. Ow. (Chuckles) 34 00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:10,655 But I didn't forget about my office fam. No, I did not. 35 00:01:10,656 --> 00:01:12,290 Hey, who's in the mood 36 00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:14,408 for a little authentic new England clam cho... 37 00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:16,660 (Sniffs) Okay, that did not travel well. 38 00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:17,962 Dibs. 39 00:01:17,963 --> 00:01:19,747 (Sniffs) 40 00:01:19,748 --> 00:01:22,717 (Sighs, whispers indistinctly) 41 00:01:22,718 --> 00:01:24,785 All right, kiddies. Lace up your gloves. 44 00:01:29,007 --> 00:01:30,474 Moving right along, 45 00:01:30,475 --> 00:01:32,727 I just got off the phone with Billy Lumberg from Initech. 46 00:01:32,728 --> 00:01:36,013 They're taking some heat in the form of a hack attack. 47 00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:37,598 Their office lights aren't malfunctioning. 48 00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:39,483 They've been turned into a video game. 49 00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:42,144 Oh, my eyes just had sex. 50 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,604 Wait, his call sign is "Rembrandt"? 51 00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:44,688 I think I've heard of this guy. 52 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:46,398 Who are these "hackers," anyway? 53 00:01:46,399 --> 00:01:48,075 Sad, lonely, pathetic virgins 54 00:01:48,076 --> 00:01:50,444 who don't have anything better to do with their time? (Laughs) 55 00:01:50,445 --> 00:01:53,981 What? No. That's just a cruel stereotype. 56 00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:55,449 There's no evidence that supports that. 57 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:57,076 I mean, sure, anecdotal evidence, but... 58 00:01:57,077 --> 00:02:00,321 Uh-oh. My crush-o-meter has been activated. 59 00:02:00,322 --> 00:02:02,323 (Imitates rhythmic beeping) 60 00:02:02,324 --> 00:02:03,341 What? 61 00:02:03,342 --> 00:02:05,668 Boop, boop! (Laughs) 62 00:02:05,669 --> 00:02:08,012 - It's such a treat to have you back. - Thank you. 63 00:02:08,013 --> 00:02:10,431 All right, so let's go catch a hacker. What do you say? Huh? 64 00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:12,516 Cammy, this job has your name written in its undies. 65 00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:13,684 Do whatever it takes. 66 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:15,353 If I may interject, 67 00:02:15,354 --> 00:02:19,056 do catch the hacker, but not do "whatever it takes." 68 00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:21,025 And the bad news in three, two... 69 00:02:21,026 --> 00:02:24,311 O.C.P. has mandated that each new job will now be monitored 70 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,272 by a protocol officer. 71 00:02:26,273 --> 00:02:28,816 "A protocol officer"? That's bull. 72 00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:31,319 I don't need a babysitter. I'm a grown-ass man. 73 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,780 (Makes beeping noise) (Whirring) 74 00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:37,074 (Sighs) (Whirring stops) 75 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,409 Who... who's the officer? 76 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,027 (Cameron) Oh, what? 77 00:02:40,028 --> 00:02:41,370 (Cackles) Oh, come on. 78 00:02:41,371 --> 00:02:42,538 Why? 79 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:45,132 This... is a complete list 80 00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:47,084 of all the lawsuits brought against contra 81 00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:49,587 in the past year. It's quite a hefty file. 82 00:02:49,588 --> 00:02:51,722 Yeah. I let her carry it around. 83 00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:53,733 Otherwise, I might get those great, big, crazy Madonna arms. 84 00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:56,844 (Oz) Hey, hey, hey. Half of these lawsuits are completely frivolous. 85 00:02:56,845 --> 00:02:59,680 Yes. And the other half? I mean, look at this. 86 00:02:59,681 --> 00:03:01,807 We have "destruction of property," 87 00:03:01,808 --> 00:03:05,186 "invasion of privacy"... Oh, and my personal favorite, 88 00:03:05,187 --> 00:03:07,938 "trading with the enemy." Mm. 89 00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:10,991 Hey. Fidel. Como estas, you wild man? 90 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,943 Really appreciate the fine Cubans you sent, 91 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:15,654 but I was sort of talking about cigars. (Chuckles) 92 00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:19,199 In summary, let's go get that hooligan Rembrandt 93 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,734 whilst staying within the law. 94 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:25,164 I'll allow it. 95 00:03:25,165 --> 00:03:27,241 ♪ 96 00:03:27,242 --> 00:03:32,242 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync by into-the-light www.addic7ed.com/ 97 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,757 (Cameron) "He'll allow it"? (Whirs) 98 00:03:34,758 --> 00:03:36,600 He's not the one driving around blind all night, 99 00:03:36,601 --> 00:03:37,935 looking for a wireless signal. 100 00:03:37,936 --> 00:03:41,597 Blind? Son, this is the cash I-g-88 antenna. 101 00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:44,058 This bad boy'll pick up Rembrandt's signal 102 00:03:44,059 --> 00:03:47,061 from anywhere in the city and steer you right to him. 103 00:03:47,062 --> 00:03:48,562 All right, I guess I owe you one. 104 00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:50,314 Now actually, you owe me two. 105 00:03:50,315 --> 00:03:51,844 (Monotone voice) So follow me, 'cause the second one is 106 00:03:51,845 --> 00:03:53,951 much more epic than the... (High-pitched singsong voice) First one. 107 00:03:53,952 --> 00:03:55,269 (Monotone voice) When you sing like that, it makes me very... 108 00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:56,278 (High-pitched singsong voice) Nervous. 109 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,530 Behold... 110 00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,341 Your new epic gesture for Melanie. 111 00:04:00,342 --> 00:04:03,744 Cash! I said no! How did you even do this? 112 00:04:03,745 --> 00:04:06,622 And why is she giving the thumbs up? 113 00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:09,717 Hey, Mel. Still up for teaching me how to drive stick? 114 00:04:09,718 --> 00:04:11,252 Anytime. (Computer keys click, beeping) 115 00:04:11,253 --> 00:04:13,337 (Female automated voice) Commence body scan now. 116 00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:14,505 (Whispers) Yes. 117 00:04:14,506 --> 00:04:16,674 That's very thorough. 118 00:04:16,675 --> 00:04:20,344 It's quite simply... My ass-terpiece. 119 00:04:20,345 --> 00:04:21,804 (Melanie) 'Sup, guys? 120 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:25,432 What the hell? Is that... Is that supposed to be me? 121 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,560 Melanie, meet Metalnie. 122 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:30,229 Cameron's been working on it for weeks. 123 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,273 "Metalnie"? You made a metal me? 124 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,442 No, cash made it for me. 125 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,328 I mean, he made it for me to give to... 126 00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:39,313 No, that didn't come out right. Okay, he made it... 127 00:04:39,314 --> 00:04:41,815 Why did anyone make it? Cam, what did you think, 128 00:04:41,816 --> 00:04:44,818 you'd save me from the Bortex or detail my bike 129 00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:46,987 or... or... or... or this, 130 00:04:46,988 --> 00:04:49,790 and then suddenly we have babies and a chocolate lab? I mean... 131 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,792 No, I always pictured a labradoodle. 132 00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:54,712 Come on. It's not gonna happen. 133 00:04:54,713 --> 00:04:56,213 (Oz) Listen up, people. 134 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:59,717 Goody mctwoshoes has sprung some new protocols on us. 135 00:04:59,718 --> 00:05:02,836 Yes, from now on, there'll be no more solo ops at night. 136 00:05:02,837 --> 00:05:04,838 2-person deployment at minimum. 137 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,515 Safety and liability reasons. 138 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:09,310 And since cam is gonna have his face planted in a laptop 139 00:05:09,311 --> 00:05:11,729 all weekend, he's gonna need a wingman. 140 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:16,024 That's gonna be Eenie, Meenie, Miney... Melanie! You are it! 141 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,943 (Whispers) Oh, God. (Scoffs) 142 00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:19,361 Is that a problem? 143 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,871 No, no. It's great. No, we're good. 144 00:05:20,872 --> 00:05:24,191 Good! Well, then go out there and catch me a hacker. 145 00:05:24,192 --> 00:05:29,129 Holy Moly! I should get one made of me for my deck! Heh. 146 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:38,463 You know, Ariel was 11 pounds when she was born. 147 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:39,604 Wow. 148 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,272 Yeah, my vagina just snapped right back. 149 00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,574 Good for you. 150 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,635 Uh-oh. Here she is, in the goth phase. 151 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,944 - Ooh. - Look at that. She's 12 years old. 152 00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:48,129 Don't you just want to kiss 153 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,475 that deathly pale, little, pierced face? 154 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,435 - Ooh. - Yeah. You want to see the love of my life? 155 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,686 Yes, I do. 156 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,137 My dog Sammy. People even say we look alike. 157 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,389 Oh, my God. Yeah. He's a stray. 158 00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,975 I found him in the woods one night, drinking. (Laps) 159 00:06:00,976 --> 00:06:03,761 So adorable. Look at that. Mm-hmm. 160 00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:06,681 You know your dog is a possum, right? Yeah. 161 00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:08,483 I can tell because this is a possum. 162 00:06:08,484 --> 00:06:09,934 Ladies. 163 00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:12,705 As much as I love hearing about her freaky pet rodent, 164 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,499 I've got operatives in the field. 165 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,834 (Cameron) Here we go. This is it. (Beep) 166 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,860 Dude, cash's antenna actually worked. 167 00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:20,880 We just pulled up in front of Rembrandt's house. 168 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,381 Cut my legs off and call me "shorty." 169 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,467 Now stake out the house until we get r. On the hacker. 170 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,134 Then I want you to come back here, 171 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,919 i'm gonna put my head under the tire of the car, 172 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,056 and I want you to back it up. Okay? 173 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,257 Okay, we're... We're gonna go now. 174 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,309 (Click) 175 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,626 (Sighs) 176 00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:38,162 So... just you and me... 177 00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:40,775 But not in that way. 178 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,652 Didn't mean it like that. 179 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:43,903 ("Belleza de bano" playing) 180 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,322 Oh, my God. Wow, wow. 181 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,689 How do you... where is... Where's the button? 182 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:48,699 Where's the button? How do you change that? 183 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,642 You don't. The knob's missing, and... 184 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,226 (Click, music stops playing) I can't find a new one. 185 00:06:52,227 --> 00:06:53,478 For the last year, it's been stuck on... 186 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:56,281 (Imitates announcer) "La movidita 101.3!" 187 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,365 (Chuckles) 188 00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:58,900 Here. 189 00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:02,380 Oh, no. See? Right there. This. 190 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,572 It's like you're living in a Katherine Heigl movie, 191 00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:05,957 and she sucks. 192 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,542 I was... I was just being nice. 193 00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:10,378 No, you were being chivalrous, going all heigl... 194 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:13,915 Jackets over puddles, making out in the rain... puke. 195 00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:16,384 I would never put a jacket on a puddle, 196 00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:18,062 especially if it's suede. 197 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:21,739 Cam, I'm sorry. You're a great guy... 198 00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:24,402 But you need a romantic comedy girl, 199 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,561 and that's just not me. Dude... 200 00:07:26,562 --> 00:07:30,700 I don't even like to cuddle. How many chicks can say that? 201 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,119 Yeah, I... I get it. We're just friends. 202 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,604 (Slaps hands) Damn right. We're just friends. 203 00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:42,076 Oh. Oh, what are you doing? 204 00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:43,111 Wha... 205 00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:45,113 What are you... ohh, no, no. 206 00:07:45,114 --> 00:07:46,230 Nothing. What? Ohh. 207 00:07:46,231 --> 00:07:47,300 (Knock on window) (Stammers) Uhh! 208 00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:51,753 Hey. How you doing? 209 00:07:51,754 --> 00:07:53,087 Y'all staking out my house, right? 210 00:07:53,088 --> 00:07:54,622 What? No, we're just friends. 211 00:07:54,623 --> 00:07:56,057 What? What? 212 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,091 Made you pop-tarts. 213 00:07:57,092 --> 00:07:59,228 Huh? And you are who? 214 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,463 You slow? I'm Rembrandt, fool. The hacker? 215 00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:03,848 Y'all been sitting out here all night. 216 00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:05,916 I mean, any more obvious, 217 00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:07,778 you'd be in a damn van marked "surveillance." 218 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,280 How old are you? 219 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,533 I'm 14, your fineness, if you ever want to trade up from that. 220 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:16,537 Inappropriate. This is not a game. You are in deep trouble. 221 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,262 Look, man, I'm late for skipping school, but, um, 222 00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,814 catch me if you can, chumps. All right? 223 00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:21,432 All right. Looking good. 224 00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:28,382 All right. Here's what we got so far. 225 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,344 This is Rembrandt, a.K.A. Jamal Jenkins. 226 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,211 Not since Cameron price have we seen a hacker 227 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:36,015 with this kind of skill. This kid's only 14. 228 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,949 14. Whatever happened to kids just being kids? 229 00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,285 Playing hide-and-go-seek, 230 00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:44,357 reverse cowgirl, tramp stamps... I mean, 231 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,567 kids deserve a childhood. It's sad. 232 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,393 I guess the only thing we can do is call the po-po. 233 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,405 They'll have lil' bow wow in jail before study hall. 234 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,241 Oh. I'm getting call waiting. Sorry. It's my conscience. 235 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,577 Hi, Renee. Yeah. Oh, sorry. 236 00:08:56,578 --> 00:09:00,438 Can you hear me now? Yes. Yes, I will. Thank you. 237 00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:02,490 Renee thinks you're a douche. 238 00:09:02,491 --> 00:09:03,641 I'm not paid to have a conscience. 239 00:09:03,642 --> 00:09:06,003 That's why we gotta Shawshank this kid. 240 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,779 Well, I'm sorry, Oswald, but as a mother, 241 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,924 I simply cannot allow this to happen. 242 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,250 As a guy who's been in the security business 243 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:17,264 for the last 20 years, I'm telling you, stay out of it. 244 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:18,724 (Giggles) 245 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,394 (Woman) Do not lie to me, Jamal. 246 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,927 Now if what she's saying is true, 247 00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,178 you won't be going to m.I.T. 248 00:09:24,179 --> 00:09:25,596 You're gonna go straight to the penitentiary, 249 00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,149 just like your Uncle Floyd. 250 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,218 Uncle Floyd was making up-skirt videos. I didn't do nothin'. 251 00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:32,989 You never "do nothin'," do you, Jamal? 252 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,689 Know what? I've had enough. 253 00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,841 Three women ganging up on me... I'm not with this. 254 00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:38,494 I don't like it at all. I'm outta here. 255 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:42,415 Hey, girl. I'd drink your bathwater. 256 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,650 Honestly, I don't know what's happened to him... (Door opens and closes) 257 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,119 But he used to be such a great kid. 258 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,924 He was an honor student, did school plays, but now... 259 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,051 (Sighs) I just don't know what else to do. 260 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:58,055 J'ney, may I ask you a question, just mother to mother? 261 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,630 Actually, it's Janet. 262 00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:01,031 Oh, "Janet." Yes, of course. 263 00:10:01,032 --> 00:10:03,084 Janet, uh, it might have been obvious, 264 00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,271 but I feel like I really get Jamal... 265 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,272 Excuse me? 266 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,639 Um, I don't think we should be here. 267 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,843 And I was wondering if you would let me take him under my wing, 268 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,344 just for a little while, 269 00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:15,513 to see if I could help him get back on track. 270 00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:21,871 (Sighs) Okay. Okay. 271 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,772 I really appreciate the interest that you're taking in Jamal. 272 00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:28,002 Oh, come on, girlfriend. It ain't no thang. 273 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,278 Okay. Now you have reached your limit. 274 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:31,922 Thank you for coming by. 275 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,009 - Well, thank you, j'ney. - It's "Janet." 276 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,501 (Whispers) Sorry. 277 00:10:37,786 --> 00:10:39,805 (Jamal) You want tickets to the gun show? 278 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,405 I'm not a... I'm not a fan of guns. 279 00:10:41,406 --> 00:10:43,142 (Whispers) What about these guns, baby? 280 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,625 Are you crazy? 281 00:10:44,626 --> 00:10:46,270 I tell you to stay out of it, and this is what you do? 282 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,296 I'm sorry, Oswald, but that boy out there is in trouble, 283 00:10:48,297 --> 00:10:52,249 and I'm going to save him. This is my "the blind side." 284 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,634 Oh, dear God, no. 285 00:10:53,635 --> 00:10:56,322 Oh, yes. Oh, that's a darling little movie. 286 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,855 The girl from "speed," 287 00:10:57,856 --> 00:11:01,609 - and she takes in a gentle giant of a boy. - I've seen it. 288 00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:05,748 (Gasps) You can be the husband, and Jamal is our big Mike. 289 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:10,117 Listen, oz, everyone else has given up on that kid out there, 290 00:11:10,118 --> 00:11:13,988 but not me, and that is why I have made him... 291 00:11:13,989 --> 00:11:17,458 Our new office intern. 292 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,303 No, no. Veronica, you've got it backwards. 293 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,495 This is not a boy that you make an intern. 294 00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:23,933 This is a boy that you turn in. 295 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,249 Mark my words... 296 00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:28,586 Jamal Alphonso Jenkins will surprise us all. 297 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:32,441 (Sighs) Well, he's certainly off to a wonderful start. 298 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,225 Go ahead. Touch it. I-I don't think I should... 299 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:36,143 Go ahead. Touch it. Right now. Go ahead. 300 00:11:36,144 --> 00:11:38,062 Nice and hard, right? Uh-huh. That's right. 301 00:11:39,525 --> 00:11:40,525 I knew it. 302 00:11:40,526 --> 00:11:41,877 From fist bump to cuddle, 303 00:11:41,878 --> 00:11:44,212 that's the power of the epic gesture, baby. 304 00:11:44,213 --> 00:11:46,498 Next stop... (Singsongy) The bone zone. 305 00:11:46,499 --> 00:11:49,134 (Lowered voice) Okay, just keep it down. She's right there. 306 00:11:49,135 --> 00:11:51,169 Uh, hey, Mel? You have a quick second? 307 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,838 Time's up. 308 00:11:52,839 --> 00:11:56,091 (Laughs) You're like the beeper kiosk at the mall... 309 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:57,550 Shut down. 310 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,968 Oh, dude, shut up. Seriously? 311 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,679 That was both a burn and a social commentary. 312 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,721 Respect. 313 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,683 Hey. What's the deal with you and Melanie? 314 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:06,234 Why is she giving you the cold shoulder? 315 00:12:06,235 --> 00:12:08,186 (Sighs) Something might have happened last night 316 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,721 at the stakeout. 317 00:12:09,722 --> 00:12:11,857 Really? You two? Car Booty? 318 00:12:11,858 --> 00:12:13,316 They cuddled. 319 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,160 Cuddles?! 320 00:12:15,161 --> 00:12:16,653 Bat cave now. 321 00:12:16,654 --> 00:12:18,237 (Whoosh) 322 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,697 Okay. Now who cuddled who? 323 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,866 Did you cuddle her, or did she cuddle you? 324 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,243 Uh, I think she cuddled me. 325 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,453 No! (Whoosh) 326 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,872 You cuddled her. You understand? 327 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,958 You cuddled her. Say it! 328 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,336 I... cuddled her? 329 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:35,797 (Whoosh) The thing you gotta understand about Melanie 330 00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,882 is that feelings are like kryptonite to her. 331 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:41,594 The only way she can handle 'em is to fly away from 'em. 332 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:45,607 Um, Melanie? Will you be my Valentine? 333 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,594 Class? We have a new transfer student today. 334 00:12:49,595 --> 00:12:52,855 Say "hello" to Melanie. 335 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,315 So you better undo that cuddle with Melanie 336 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,026 before she transfers to another school. 337 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,112 Okay? Boop. 338 00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:03,274 So, Jamal, as our beloved and respected intern, 339 00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:06,995 your job will be filing, faxing, color-coding... 340 00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:09,539 All the things that teenage boys love the most. 341 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:12,217 (Clears throat) Oh. 342 00:13:12,218 --> 00:13:14,136 But most importantly, Jamal, 343 00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:16,045 I would like you to make yourself at home. 344 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,122 Oh, miss Mann, 345 00:13:18,123 --> 00:13:20,925 you do not know how much I appreciate this opportunity. 346 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,761 Oh, come on. Call me "moms." 347 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,221 "Moms." 348 00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:26,764 Oh! 349 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,850 Yeah, I'm-a get to know you people real quick. 350 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,987 (Beeping) 351 00:13:31,988 --> 00:13:33,772 (Veronica, singsongy) Jamal. Come to moms. 352 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,326 (Engine turns off) 353 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,407 Mel, wait. We need to talk. 354 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,701 I've got nothing to say. 355 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,286 Just... 356 00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,155 I'm sorry about this morning. I shoplifted the cuddle. 357 00:13:51,156 --> 00:13:53,750 It was my fault. It'll never happen again. 358 00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:55,001 Okay. Are you done now? 359 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,761 You know what? No, no. 360 00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:58,755 Look, I didn't shoplift the cuddle! All right? 361 00:13:58,756 --> 00:14:01,466 I woke up, and we were spooning. And guess what? 362 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,502 You were the big spoon. Yeah. 363 00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:08,973 A big soup ladle, and I was just a little baby food spoon. 364 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,266 What are you talking about? 365 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,978 Dude, you cuddled me, 366 00:14:12,979 --> 00:14:16,597 and I don't care anymore. I get it. You're not into me, and frankly, 367 00:14:16,598 --> 00:14:18,033 - seeing this side of you... - I am. 368 00:14:18,034 --> 00:14:20,067 I'm not into you, either, so you can just go... 369 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:23,371 ♪ 370 00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:28,618 you think that weak excuse for a kiss makes up for... 371 00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,529 ♪ 372 00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:39,304 (sighs) 373 00:14:39,305 --> 00:14:40,889 I can't believe this finally happened. 374 00:14:40,890 --> 00:14:43,382 I know. Me, too. 375 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,727 Because right now... 376 00:14:47,096 --> 00:14:49,397 Kind of in the perfect moment. 377 00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:52,267 Oh. So you're a heigl after all. 378 00:14:52,268 --> 00:14:53,268 (Sighs) 379 00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:54,319 (Chuckles) 380 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,154 (Chuckles) 381 00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:59,390 Right now I am. (Sighs) 382 00:14:59,391 --> 00:15:01,943 (Pants) Ready for round three? 383 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,227 Absolutely. 384 00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:04,729 Just give me 20 minutes and some coconut water, 385 00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,397 I'll be good to go. Oh, God. Shut up. 386 00:15:06,398 --> 00:15:09,325 (Both moaning) 387 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,870 Veronica. Got ourselves a little bit of a situation here. 388 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,838 Oh, yeah? Well, make it snappy. 389 00:15:13,839 --> 00:15:16,290 I'm taking Jamal out for ice cream and a new laptop. 390 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:18,242 The situation is about Jamal. 391 00:15:18,243 --> 00:15:21,673 - Yeah, he's, like, you know, a dick. - Total dick. 392 00:15:21,674 --> 00:15:23,381 Yeah, you should change his name to "Richard." 393 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:26,676 All he ever does is come on to us foxy babes in the office. 394 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:30,179 Ooh, hey, little miss Muffet, let me slap that tuffet. 395 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,182 Ooh. I'll get you double pregnant. Yeah. 396 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,443 Oh, no. (Clatter) 397 00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:37,195 What's happened there? 398 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,119 He's also stolen some laptops, all of our files, 399 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,453 everybody's social security number... 400 00:15:45,454 --> 00:15:47,697 The kid's a klepto. He's gotta go. 401 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:52,077 Oh, okay. The name on the card is "buddy r..." I-is it "revell"? 402 00:15:52,078 --> 00:15:55,496 Yeah, "b-buddy revell." Uh-huh. I'll take 20 of 'em. 403 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,998 That's right. (Crack) 404 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,784 Would you callous people be interested to know 405 00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,461 why Jamal might be acting out like this? 406 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,297 Mnh-mnh. Negative. 407 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:08,393 (Sentimental music playing) Jamal's father pushed a broom for initech for 30 years, 408 00:16:08,394 --> 00:16:12,180 and one day before he was supposed to receive his pension, 409 00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:15,725 they fired him. How do you feel about it now? 410 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:17,393 I don't care at all. 411 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:21,356 Veronica, Jamal's father is a very successful chiropractor. (Music warps abruptly) 412 00:16:21,357 --> 00:16:23,691 You've been played by a child, my dear. 413 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,243 Veronica. What? 414 00:16:25,244 --> 00:16:28,146 Jamal has just hacked into o.C.P.'S bank accounts. 415 00:16:28,147 --> 00:16:29,147 Oh. 416 00:16:29,148 --> 00:16:30,582 And he pinched my bottom. 417 00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:31,616 Mm. 418 00:16:34,731 --> 00:16:36,412 (Molly) Um, oz, could I have a moment, please? 419 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,067 It's... it's rather urgent. 420 00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:40,036 Really not in the mood to hear about your protocol. 421 00:16:40,037 --> 00:16:42,371 Well, actually, I'm about to break protocol 422 00:16:42,372 --> 00:16:45,074 - and share some rather sensitive information with you. - Mm. 423 00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:47,076 I think Veronica's "blind side" thing is 424 00:16:47,077 --> 00:16:49,675 really about her relationship with her daughter. 425 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,297 Yeah, I've seen the photos... Picnics, puzzles... 426 00:16:51,298 --> 00:16:52,531 They're besties. 427 00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:55,051 Yes, when she was 10, but since then, 428 00:16:55,052 --> 00:16:57,058 she's become a bit of a... monster. 429 00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,088 - Huh. - That's why Veronica was in Boston. 430 00:16:59,089 --> 00:17:01,707 She was taking Ariel to a school for troubled teens. 431 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,150 Ariel got a face tattoo. 432 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:09,548 Ohh. Now you got me feeling feelings... 433 00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:11,383 For her! Ohh. 434 00:17:12,552 --> 00:17:14,450 S-sorry. 435 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,239 (Oz) So you just skip school when your parents are at work? 436 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,058 I mean, what are you doing here, huh? I mean... (Sighs) 437 00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:21,160 You could be the next jobs or zuckerberg. 438 00:17:21,161 --> 00:17:22,828 You're throwing your life away. Why? 439 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:25,836 What? You think social network can bring people together? 440 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:28,918 (Scoffs) What I got is a real people-pleaser... 441 00:17:28,919 --> 00:17:31,175 X-rated holograms. 442 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,719 Ooh. (Whispers) Top secret. 443 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,124 All right, look, look, you're still... 444 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,293 You're gonna return all the stolen merchandise, 445 00:17:37,294 --> 00:17:40,851 and you are gonna give Veronica her "blind side" moment. 446 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,854 "Blind side"? Hey! That's racist. 447 00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:48,317 Yes. Yes, it is, but you're gonna do it anyway, or else. 448 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:51,112 "Or else" what? I'm Rembrandt, fool. 449 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:54,657 (Sighs) I'm gonna hard-knock your life. 450 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:56,562 Gee whiskers and leaping lizards! 451 00:17:56,563 --> 00:17:57,930 I love you, too, daddy warbucks! 452 00:17:57,931 --> 00:18:00,432 Okay, look, I was 12. I was just a little kid. 453 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:02,456 Thank you... That was an all-boys school. 454 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,153 What kind of sick, twisted drama teacher 455 00:18:04,154 --> 00:18:06,585 thinks "Annie" is a good idea at an all-boys school? 456 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,421 I said the same thing. 457 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,609 Well, regardless, if this were to leak out on the Internet, 458 00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,675 it would pretty much destroy your street cred, wouldn't it? 459 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,970 It would. Only one problem there. 460 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:19,135 No one knows what Rembrandt looks like. Ha ha! 461 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,621 I'm Rembrandt, fool. 462 00:18:25,812 --> 00:18:28,024 So... so you said, "blind side"? That's... that's... 463 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:29,525 That's the one with the chick from "speed," right? 464 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,776 Bingo. 465 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,987 Okay. (Laughs) All right. 466 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:35,364 All right. Now I got one other kid to help out. 467 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,658 Where were you last night? 468 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,823 "Love and other drugs" came on. Anne hathaway gets topless. 469 00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:42,288 I wanted to watch it on the phone with you. 470 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,910 Ooh, bummer to miss that, but I was kind of with Mel all night. 471 00:18:44,911 --> 00:18:47,001 No! We did it? 472 00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:51,047 Like, we did it? Did we like it? Were we good? 473 00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:53,132 Dude, there is no "we." 474 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,121 Yes, there is. I need to feel what you felt, 475 00:18:55,122 --> 00:18:56,505 experience what you've experienced. 476 00:18:56,506 --> 00:18:58,262 We need to mind meld. 477 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:01,557 All right, cash? Chill. Virginity's making you crazy. 478 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,296 Falsehood. I had sex with a lady twice. 479 00:19:04,297 --> 00:19:09,185 Comic-con '08 and '09. It was she-hulk and lady Yoda. 480 00:19:11,388 --> 00:19:13,172 Hey, have you seen Mel? 481 00:19:13,173 --> 00:19:14,840 (Cash) Ain't seen her. 482 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:18,694 (Oz, echoing voice) The thing you gotta understand 483 00:19:18,695 --> 00:19:21,680 about Melanie is that feelings are like kryptonite to her. 484 00:19:21,681 --> 00:19:24,617 The only way she can handle 'em is to fly away from 'em. 485 00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:27,787 (Sighs) 486 00:19:27,788 --> 00:19:30,252 I'm sorry, kid. She's gone. 487 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,546 Just tell Cameron I... 488 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:35,007 (Sighs) Just explain it to him. 489 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,829 I will. 490 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:39,804 You'll... you'll always have a place here. Never forget that. 491 00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:41,834 I never will. 492 00:19:48,175 --> 00:19:50,523 (Sighs) Bye, oz. 493 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,811 Be safe. 494 00:19:54,648 --> 00:19:56,816 (Engine starts, revs) 495 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,823 She wanted me to give this to you. 496 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:21,841 (Static) 497 00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:24,593 (We are serenades' "walking home" playing) 498 00:20:29,894 --> 00:20:32,718 If it makes you feel any better, she does love you. 499 00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:36,110 Just hates love. 500 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:38,057 Let's do this. 501 00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:41,782 Hasta la vista, baby. 502 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,980 ♪ Even if the flowers are gone ♪ (Clink) 503 00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:48,984 ♪ even when the sun is down and things are undone ♪ 504 00:20:48,985 --> 00:20:51,871 ♪ even when the lakes are dry ♪ 505 00:20:51,872 --> 00:20:55,941 ♪ even when the last leaves are falling down ♪ 506 00:20:55,942 --> 00:20:59,495 ♪ love will be around ♪ 507 00:20:59,496 --> 00:21:03,095 ♪ love will be around ♪ 508 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,551 ♪ even if the flowers are gone ♪ 509 00:21:05,552 --> 00:21:09,922 ♪ even when the sun is down and things are undone ♪ 510 00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:12,624 ♪ even when the lakes are dry ♪ 511 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:16,775 ♪ even when the last leaves are falling down ♪ 512 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,315 ♪ love will be around ♪ 513 00:21:19,316 --> 00:21:21,280 ♪ love will be around ♪ 514 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,402 Ah... (Laughs) 515 00:21:23,403 --> 00:21:25,271 We finished. 516 00:21:25,272 --> 00:21:27,072 Whoo! 517 00:21:27,073 --> 00:21:28,607 ♪ 518 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:35,955 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync by into-the-light www.addic7ed.com/