Sync & corrections by honeybunny Resync by into-the-light www.Addic7ed.Com
[Leftover Cuties' Game Called Life]
♪ It's so hard ♪
♪ to turn your life over ♪
♪ step out ♪
♪ of your comfort zone ♪
♪ is this some kind of a joke? ♪
♪ will someone wake me up soon? ♪
♪ and tell me this was just a game we play ♪
♪ called life ♪
Okay, okay. I would...
fuck Willie Nelson...
- Oh, gross. - [Laughs] I would...
marry Helena Bonham Carter,
- and I'd hurt... - Kill.
I'd kill Lady Gaga.
Mmm. So you'd marry the woman.
I didn't know you swung like that.
I didn't say I'd fuck her.
[Both laughing]
You know, the only problem with your London pub
is there's just not enough Londoners in it.
Well, no one would leave winter's ass there
to come to Minneapolis where it's even colder.
Excellent point, prime minister.
Another?
Oh, it depends.
Is there a downside to having three Martinis
before 5:45?
Well, the upside is if you pass out,
there's a hospital up the street.
I'm... I'm very familiar.
It's how I found this place last month.
No...
No, I'm good.
It's late.
I should go home.
You know,
it's actually not as late as you think.
That clock is on bar time.
What's bar time?
You mean... everyone who leaves here
gets more time?
This is a magical, magical place.
Okay, now before you go,
we're gonna have to name that Martini
with the big black olives.
How 'bout a thirsty widow?
Oh... she made me feel bad now.
I appreciate a grieving woman with a sense of humor.
I appreciate a bar that lets you smoke.
- Amen. - Well, we don't play
by all the rules. Some of them... but not all.
Me either.
Now, are we gonna see you tomorrow, Alexis?
Most likely.
[Changes plays in background]
♪ ♪
[Humming Changes]
Where ya been, Cath?
I was, I... I ran to Kowalski's
to get the rest of your heart-healthy food.
I got caught behind a snow plow.
[Keyboard keys clicking]
How you feeling?
I smell smoke.
Are you on fire?
Oh, I... I was...
[Laughs] There was this guy
who was barbecuing samples at the store.
I must have stood too close to the grill.
I ate too many samples.
[Dog barks]
- Shh, shh! - Jesus, Thomas.
Careful, buddy.
You're gonna make my IUD go off.
No. [Laughs]
ICD, Paul.
I-C-D.
In addition to keeping my heartbeat regular,
I certainly hope it keeps me from getting pregnant,
because God knows I couldn't handle that right now.
- Why aren't you resting? - Ha.
I will sleep when I'm dead again.
I don't know, I feel the need to write it all down
while it's still fresh, you know?
I mean, I saw the light.
I am now one of those people that saw the light.
I told you about my little friend
that I saw from kindergarten with the eye patch
who sent me back? Patrick Bertrand.
Well, I googled him this morning.
He had a heart attack last year.
I mean, come on, to me that's just beyond...
I wonder why you didn't see me.
Well, I only saw dead people. You weren't dead.
But I saw you at the finish line.
That's because I was dead.
Wednesday. Groundhog day.
Little fucker better tell us that spring is on the way.
I am over this winter already.
Yeah. Fucker better see his shadow.
Or is it not see his shadow?
What is all that crap about anyway?
Is that all based on any sort of real science?
I don't know.
But I'm glad Patrick sent you back to me.
- Really? - I'll thank him when I see him.
Jeez.
Hey. What have you been up to?
Uh, I was checking my hockey rink.
Dad said I could fill up the pool hole
and let it freeze over so I can practice in the backyard.
That doesn't sound safe to me.
Safe. Ha.
I had a heart attack at a Christmas party.
- What's safe? - What, that's supposed
- to make me feel better? - How you feeling, dad?
- Oh, I feel so alive. - That's great.
That's awesome. Uh, hey, mom, I was thinking
that I could drive you to your doctor's appointment tomorrow.
I have my permit... I might as well practice sometime.
Not if the weather's bad. It's really slick out there.
Those are exactly the kind of conditions
you should be teaching me to drive in.
We'll see.
We'll see me driving.
He's so old.
[Grunts]
Ahh...
[Groans]
Holy winter mother of fuck!
- Oh! - Aah!
Where did you get that coat?
Oh... Marlene's closet.
It is unbelievably cold in here, Sean.
You had heat. What happened?
No, no, no. Sean never had heat.
Rebecca had heat. Unfortunately,
she took her utilities with her when she left.
All she did leave was a bunch of sanitary napkins
which I'm tempted to stuff into my socks.
But they're all I have left to remember her by.
Paul and I were talking,
and despite your alternative lifestyle,
we wanted to ask...
If Paul has another heart attack
or if my clinical trial stops working...
we want you to be Adam's guardian.
I think I'm flattered,
but I'm too cold to feel my feelings.
You have so much to offer him.
Street smarts and an above-average sense of morality.
And it's not like he's a little kid anymore.
You'd be more like his guardian buddy.
He already has his driver's permit.
And you know, I know when he saw his dad in the hospital,
he wanted to cry so badly,
but he bit his lip
- and he held it together. - Do-do-don't cry.
Your eyelids will freeze shut.
Sean, please let me pay to have your heart turned back on.
No. You can't be paying for my heat, Cath.
Your insurance bills alone
gave your husband a heart attack.
It turns out if you're gonna have a heart attack,
having one at an insurance company holiday party
is a great idea.
They're being very generous with us.
You know, if I'm gonna keep living here,
I gotta get a job and make some money
and turn my heat on.
Clearly, the meds are talking.
They make me sound so bourgeois.
Sean, I think getting a job would be so good for you.
I'll keep my ears open.
There might be something at the school.
Ohh... Okay. Fine.
But I don't wanna be principal.
Okay. I've gotta get back to the house
and check in on this healthcare nurse that's seeing Paul.
It's like living in a hospice over there.
[Mouthing words]
I'm gonna come with you, finish my pee in your toilet.
This is your key fob.
Your key fob is your friend.
Keep it with you at all times.
- Do you hear that, Paul? - Key fob is my friend.
No, keep it with you at all times.
Did you guys get that?
So you might wanna ask Paul regularly
if he has his key fob with him.
Yeah. That won't be annoying for anybody.
So your ICD implant automatically recognizes
rapid arrhythmias
and automatically corrects them with an electronic shock.
However, should you suspect your heart is in arrhythmia,
you can test it yourself by pressing the question mark.
To test, press question mark.
After you press the question mark,
it will blink either yes or no.
If it blinks yes, that means your heartbeat
is, in fact, irregular.
In which case, you would press the lightning bolt.
If yes, press bolt.
The lightning bolt shocks your heart
back into a regular rhythm.
At the hospital, they said
it was just sort of like a deep pressure.
It's like a horse kick to the fucking chest.
If possible, lie down before you shock yourself.
Distract yourself. Think about sports.
Kittens. Whatever.
Wh...
Wow.
Another reason I'm glad I'm not you, Paul.
[Water running] So, um...
So, Adam...
Maybe this summer, we should go camping.
Just me and you.
We could talk about life.
I could tell you what plants are poisonous
and which are edible.
- You could call me dad. - Sean.
- Or not. - Why?
You haven't told him yet?
[Exhales] We just asked Sean
to be your guardian buddy.
In case something happens to me and dad.
Okay. But I'm not living in the woods with you.
No... [Cathy laughing]
We don't have to. If you don't want to.
Hello, Jamisons! I'm back!
What's up, Andrea?
- Hey. - Andrea, you promised
you would send me your flight information
so I could pick you up at the airport.
I'm a strong black woman.
I can hail my own freaking cab.
Oh. Okay.
[Horn honking] Oh, but it is
more than I thought. I need about 15 bucks.
Got it!
- You look great. - Are you hungry?
- Can we get you something to eat? - No, no, I'm okay.
I'm just so tired.
It is so good to see you.
You know, you look different.
I am different. I am.
And I've taken on a new African name.
So from now on I want you all to call me Ababuo.
Oh. Well, welcome home, Boo Boo.
Stop touching... get your...
Why Ababuo? What does it mean?
It means "The Child Who Returns."
And I've returned with a newfound respect
for my African roots.
I'm taking my power back
after the white man tried to destroy me.
Ah, don't take it personally.
The white man destroys everybody.
Well, it's mostly just Myk that I'm mad at.
You know, I was in Ghana, and I was so sad and mopey,
but there were these amazing African women
who smelled really bad and didn't have clean water,
and some of them even had AIDS.
But they were dancing and singing around a fire,
and they just... They were so strong and joyous.
I just thought, "If they can do it, I can do it."
'Cause that's my history, you know.
I'm connected to these women.
I can be that strong.
What'd I miss?
Oh, Boo Boo here is going to be a dancer.
I'm not gonna be a dancer.
And isn't it a little early for pajamas?
This is my resting uniform.
Oh, yeah, while you were gone,
dad had a heart attack and died for a little while.
Way to trump my vacation story, Mr. J.
[Hammering]
Night, Boo Boo.
Who's that?
Jesus. Heard of him?
Uh, yeah, but I've never heard of a black Jesus before.
Well, he may have been black. Or blackish.
You know who I see in my head every time I pray at night?
Friggin' white Jesus.
I mean, I'm so disconnected from my roots
that I don't even think black.
That's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed.
So what do you... What do you pray about?
That you'll stop asking me questions
and calling me Boo Boo.
Whatever.
Well... and that people will stop
breaking each other's hearts.
And for those sick women in Ghana.
And for your mom. How's she doing?
Oh, she's fine.
Do you think praying really does anything?
The Bible says it does.
Yeah, but doesn't the Bible also say
some guy just hung out in a whale's mouth
for a couple months? Yeah.
I found this in the trash!
Well, I guess the previous owner
intended to throw it out.
But this is your wedding dress.
You spent so much time on it.
Well, Ababuo ain't getting married.
Well, not now...
Look... I know this is a painful subject,
but you might wanna hold on to it for the future.
All right, gimme. Gimme the dress.
No, I'm just... I'm gonna put this in my closet.
That way, you don't have to see it.
But if you ever want it back,
it'll be there.
Do you see what I'm dealing with?
[Dog barking]
How you feeling?
I gotta know what it feels like.
Are you eating chips for breakfast?
I'm having a salty stress craving.
I'm making you oatmeal.
Jolt me.
- What? - Jolt me.
Bolt me. Come on, honey, I gotta know.
- Is your heartbeat irregular? - Uh-uh.
No, no, I-it says that you don't need a shock.
Or is that no that your heart's not working?
I just gotta know what it feels like.
I've been an absolute wreck
ever since nurse Mumbledoom told me how bad it was.
I've been picturing it and I've been imagining it.
I even tried to do it to myself, but I can't.
So just do it so I can know what it is and I can move on!
Okay. Ready?
[Quietly] Go.
- [Shouts] Go! - Oh! No!
I can't! I can't intentionally hurt you!
Oh, come on! You've had your moments.
Give me the goddamn chips, Paul.
Hey, why are you talking to me like that?
This is not funny!
We are sick people, Paul!
We are two sick people
living in a cold, sick place.
But every day we stay alive
is a day that Adam has two parents.
Cathy... When I was in the hospital,
I got really depressed,
and the more I healed, the worse I felt.
Because when I was going towards the light, oh!
I mean, it was incredible.
I felt this profound sense of comfort and peace
that... I haven't known in this life.
And I actually wanted to keep on going.
And then... and then there was Patrick Bertrand.
Look, God knows why it was him.
But he sent me back. So... here I am.
To try and be a good dad and a better husband
for as long as it lasts.
But I thought that you of all people would know
that that white light is waiting for us,
whether we eat chips or not.
I mean, we're all gonna die, honey.
I, for one, I'm just not that worried about it anymore.
[Door opens and closes]
I think I'm gonna get my pilot's license, Kirby.
Wow. May I say, you are a woman with balls.
I'd rather you not say that. What does that mean?
What, only guys are allowed to fly planes,
but women have to serve the drinks?
Yeah, fuck you, Kirby.
No, look, I became a flight attendant
because...
You know, I thought it'd be glamorous
to travel around,
but now I want some control over where I'm going.
I wanna be in the cockpit.
Hey, is the word "cock" in there?
[Laughter] Huh?
I just realized that.
So... what do you say, Alexis?
What is that?
That's sign-ups for a broomball team.
You know broomball?
You push a ball around the ice with a broom.
It's real intelligent stuff.
Well, I mean, I've probably spent a year of my life
sweeping the kitchen floor over and over.
You'd be a great left wing.
We are in a league with 15 other bars.
We are definitely the worst one,
but maybe with the most team spirit.
[Laughs] Whatever the hell a left wing is.
Ababuo?
Coming.
[As Yogi Bear] Hey, Ah-ba-boo!
I'm coming.
Look what I found in my trash.
Hell, no!
Yeah. You could make something really great
- with this material. - I already did.
- It's my frigging wedding dress. - Oh... yeah.
No wonder I thought of you when I saw it.
It's really great.
Why did you throw it in my trash?
Because your sister cock-blocked me
from throwing it out here.
Well, if you don't want it you should, you know,
give it to goodwill, you know,
or make a bunch of baby doll clothes out of it or something.
I don't want to recycle it.
I need to know it's in some giant landfill,
all stunk up and dirty
like the man-skank I thought I loved.
Well, me and, uh, humanity
actually need it not to be in a landfill.
Well, actually, I need you to mind your own business.
I'm trying to purge myself of past transgressions.
Give Ababuo a break.
Your past is always a part of you, Ababuo.
Just like your African roots.
I should have worn it to Ghana
and thrown it out there.
Even if you're a great driver,
the person in front of you or behind you may not be,
so you have to be aware of everyone on the road.
Okay.
Cathy Jamison.
Good luck.
[Speaking under breath]
Hello, my dear.
You're smiling. You never smile.
Ha. I knew it.
I knew it. I'm a dead woman.
The tumors are growing again.
Well, it is what it is.
I can't smile because I'm happy?
I don't know. Can you?
You are among the small percentage
of patients in this trial
whose cancer has responded amazingly
to the drugs.
What's amazingly?
Your tumors are continuing to shrink.
Some of them...
Some of them have disappeared.
[Gasps]
[Laughs]
[Whispers] Wow!
I think I said, "Holy shit" when I read your scan.
"Wow" is good too.
- So I have more time? - Cathy, this is...
this is uncharted territory we're in here.
These are new drugs.
But we have every reason to be optimistic.
There's not a period at the end of your sentence anymore.
More like a question mark.
Or an ellipsis.
[Laughing]
I've always loved the ellipsis.
- All right, good, good, good. - [Kissing]
Go home. Celebrate.
Hug some people.
All right, good. Very good.
Good news, good news, good news, good news.
I'm less cancery than I was before.
- That's great! - A lot less.
- Hell, yeah! Yeah! - Shh! Shh, shh.
Okay. Okay. Let's go.
But I'm driving. I just got more time.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you take me out early.
You write a lot.
- Guess what, Andrea. - Ababuo.
Ababuo. I... am a blogger.
That's cool.
Well, you know, I got a lot to say,
and they make it so easy to start a blog.
I mean, I've already connected with all these other
near-deathers, so I'm really pumped.
Well, don't get too excited.
Mrs. J. told me about your condition,
and I don't know CPR if you go down again.
- Ah ha. - Plus, I don't think
it would be appropriate if we touched lips anyway.
Ooh! No, no, no, honey. M-m-my fob, my fob!
- What? - No, no, you're sitting on it.
- It's underneath you. - Oh!
Oh, God, it's buzzing. Oh, fuck!
- Maybe I broke it. - Or else it's activated.
Good news!
[Beeps] Aah!
Oh!
Ah... Oh, fuck me.
Dad, come here. Take a seat.
Take a seat, dad.
- Come on. - Oh... Oh...
For a big man, you can really move.
- Oh... - You're okay.
We got this, dad.
Well, honey, you know, Dr. Sherman's right.
You really should celebrate.
I wish I could take you out to Manny's steak house.
Yet somehow I don't think
that sweats are on their dress code.
You need to stay in, rest.
I'll figure out a way to celebrate.
Tell you one thing.
There is no way I'm gonna be able to detonate myself now
knowing what it feels like.
I'd much rather take Patrick Bertrand’s hand
and head into the light. Ha.
[Keyboard keys clicking]
These are making me crazy.
I miss her. I miss her so much.
Every time I look at these, I-I think about her,
I think about the baby,
and I just wanna climb up on the roof
and throw myself off.
You know, I wanted to get a job because I'm cold, sure,
because I may have to look after Adam, sure.
But mostly... I just didn't want to be in the house
with those all day.
But I couldn't bear to throw them out.
Are these Rebecca's lady things?
What am I supposed to do with them?
You know what?
Get your wedding dress, Ababuo.
Let's go.
Hey, it's almost groundhog time.
We're rooting for an early spring.
I can't remember if that's "sees his shadow"
or "not sees his shadow."
We're moving on, Ababuo.
We are...
moving on.
Hopefully, it'll be worth
the noxious fumes we're breathing in.
This reminds me of my African sisters
dancing around that fire.
He sees his shadow.
Six more weeks of winter.
Mom.
Bad news. More winter.
Mom.
[Crack]
[Changes plays]
♪ Still don't know what I was waiting for ♪
- ♪ and my time ♪ - Jesus, Thomas!
♪ A million dead end streets and ♪
Honey!
[Beeping]
- Mom? - Adam!
- Dad?
[Buzzes] Oh!
♪ So I turn myself to face me ♪
- Oh, shit! - Are you okay?
- Oh, God! - Are you okay?
Oh! [Stammers]
♪ Turn and face the strange ♪
♪ ch-ch-changes ♪
♪ don't have to be a richer man ♪
♪ ch-ch-ch-changes ♪
[Muffled shouting]
♪ Turn and face the strange ♪
♪ ch-ch-changes ♪
♪ don't wanna be a better man ♪
♪ time may change me ♪
Oh... mom! Mom!
♪ I can't trace time ♪
[Gasping]
Mom, grab the hose!
Okay, now, just hold on. Hold on, we got this.
We got you, baby. Here we go.
Great, mom. Keep holding on.
- You're doing great. - We got ya, honey.
Oh, sweetie! Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. - I'll get a blanket.
Oh, honey. Oh.
We're unkillable!
What were you, sweeping the ice?
- Are you okay? - I got zapped again.
But it was different.
I think I peed and came at the same time.
♪ Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ♪
♪ turn and face the strange ♪
♪ ch-ch-changes ♪
♪ don't tell them to grow up and out of it ♪
Sync & corrections by honeybunny Resync by into-the-light www.Addic7ed.Com