1
00:00:01,211 --> 00:00:03,946
Look at that.
Dogs in the diner.
2
00:00:03,948 --> 00:00:07,366
Where are we, Paris?
3
00:00:07,368 --> 00:00:11,537
'Cause if we are, I'm gonna
stop wearing deodorant.
4
00:00:11,539 --> 00:00:13,840
Did you guys see
that adorable dog?
5
00:00:13,842 --> 00:00:16,209
You mean the one leaking
rabies all over the table
6
00:00:16,211 --> 00:00:17,710
while people are trying to eat?
7
00:00:17,712 --> 00:00:19,212
She said
he's allowed to be in here.
8
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:21,464
He's her registered
emotional companion.
9
00:00:21,466 --> 00:00:24,884
Her registered
full-of-crap what?
10
00:00:24,886 --> 00:00:27,053
He's got one of those
official vests that says
11
00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:28,688
"don't pet me,
I'm working."
12
00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:31,757
I have a shirt that says
"federal bikini inspector,"
13
00:00:31,759 --> 00:00:34,810
but there is simply no such
branch of the U.S. government.
14
00:00:37,065 --> 00:00:39,649
Hi, so, uh,
what the hell is this?
15
00:00:39,651 --> 00:00:42,235
Excuse me?
I don't understand.
16
00:00:42,237 --> 00:00:43,786
Dogs aren't allowed
in the diner.
17
00:00:43,788 --> 00:00:45,538
Oh, he's legally allowed
to be here.
18
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:48,107
He's my registered
emotional companion.
19
00:00:48,109 --> 00:00:51,460
You mean you don't
have a boyfriend.
20
00:00:51,462 --> 00:00:53,629
No, I suffer from anxiety.
21
00:00:53,631 --> 00:00:56,048
You mean you don't
want to eat alone.
22
00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:58,134
No, I have a note
from a doctor.
23
00:00:58,136 --> 00:01:02,588
You mean you have a printer
and the Internet.
24
00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:05,474
Admit it, and the dog can stay.
25
00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:09,061
It's really hard meeting guys.
26
00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:12,798
There's a good boy.
I'll get you a cookie.
27
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,318
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
28
00:01:16,721 --> 00:01:19,247
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
29
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,295
sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
resync by into-the-light
www.addic7ed.com/
30
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,608
Is it just me,
or does Han sound kind of sexy
31
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:31,677
when he speaks korean?
32
00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:38,467
Looks like Han,
sounds like Barry White.
33
00:01:40,437 --> 00:01:41,770
Who was that, Han?
34
00:01:41,772 --> 00:01:44,056
Do you have a hot,
new korean girlfriend?
35
00:01:44,058 --> 00:01:45,557
Yeah, someone
who really likes you
36
00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:47,309
and is $1.50
for the first minute
37
00:01:47,311 --> 00:01:49,094
and $2 for each
additional minute?
38
00:01:49,096 --> 00:01:52,764
I was talking to my mother!
39
00:01:52,766 --> 00:01:55,484
So... yes?
40
00:01:55,486 --> 00:01:58,487
I was not talking hot.
I was apologizing.
41
00:01:58,489 --> 00:02:00,322
She's still angry I left home.
44
00:02:08,614 --> 00:02:11,717
Does she know you buy
your sweaters at build-a-bear?
45
00:02:11,719 --> 00:02:15,220
Well, I don't know
a lot about the korean culture,
46
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,306
but maybe you should
stand up for yourself
47
00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:19,141
and stop apologizing
to your mother.
48
00:02:19,143 --> 00:02:21,176
Yeah, what do you
even have to apologize for?
49
00:02:21,178 --> 00:02:24,396
You must have been
the easiest birth ever.
50
00:02:24,398 --> 00:02:28,517
She could've coughed you
into a catcher's mitt.
51
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:35,190
I'm making a cappuccino,
you want one?
52
00:02:35,192 --> 00:02:37,109
Nope, I can't have
any caffeine.
53
00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:39,828
I have to keep my system clean.
I'm doing a drug trial tomorrow.
54
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,496
Max, not one of those places
55
00:02:41,498 --> 00:02:42,831
where they use you
as a Guinea pig
56
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,199
to test for side effects
of new drugs
57
00:02:44,201 --> 00:02:45,667
that go on the market?
58
00:02:45,669 --> 00:02:48,253
Or, as I like to call it,
getting paid $500
59
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,988
to, uh, roll
the side effects dice
60
00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:52,758
and hope it lands
on hallucinations.
61
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,460
I would never
do something like that.
62
00:02:55,462 --> 00:02:57,095
I consider my body a temple.
63
00:02:57,097 --> 00:02:59,298
Didn't I see
your "temple" eat a bag
64
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,666
of flaming hot cheetos
two nights ago?
65
00:03:01,668 --> 00:03:03,518
And that was a huge mistake.
66
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,337
I still have a little...
67
00:03:05,339 --> 00:03:08,640
Burny heinie.
68
00:03:08,642 --> 00:03:10,508
And besides, think of
all the people who are
69
00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:13,445
lowering their cholesterol
safely because of me.
70
00:03:13,447 --> 00:03:16,014
Or the people who aren't
taking klamitra because of me.
71
00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:17,699
I never heard of klamitra.
72
00:03:17,701 --> 00:03:20,018
You're welcome.
73
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,653
I know klamitra.
74
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:24,873
Sexy black woman
who teaches my spin class.
75
00:03:26,576 --> 00:03:28,327
Uh, hello, uh,
maybe you can help me.
76
00:03:28,329 --> 00:03:29,778
I'm looking
for Caroline Channing.
77
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:32,047
I have a legal matter
to discuss with her.
78
00:03:32,049 --> 00:03:33,966
Never heard of her.
Never seen her.
79
00:03:33,968 --> 00:03:38,370
- Mr. Hutchinson?
- Never took an oath.
80
00:03:38,372 --> 00:03:41,657
Oh, my God,
Mr. Hutchinson, hi.
81
00:03:41,659 --> 00:03:43,508
I haven't seen you
since my father's scandal broke
82
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:46,728
and they were dragging you
out of your law offices.
83
00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:49,014
Can I hug you?
I mean, it's been so long
84
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:51,049
since I've seen anyone
from my old life.
85
00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:52,634
But, uh, not too hard.
86
00:03:52,636 --> 00:03:58,240
Ever since the scandal,
I've had acid reflux.
87
00:03:58,242 --> 00:04:00,492
Didn't you used to be taller?
88
00:04:00,494 --> 00:04:03,445
No, uh, prouder.
89
00:04:03,447 --> 00:04:06,064
Oh, uh, Mr. Hutchinson,
this is my friend, Max.
90
00:04:06,066 --> 00:04:08,750
Max, this is Leo Hutchinson,
one of my father's attorneys.
91
00:04:08,752 --> 00:04:10,369
Oh, I've never known a lawyer
92
00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:14,089
who wasn't
court-appointed for me.
93
00:04:14,091 --> 00:04:15,924
Well, except for
the ones on Law & Order.
94
00:04:15,926 --> 00:04:17,742
Have you ever
been on that show?
95
00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:20,429
No, I'm a real lawyer.
96
00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:24,266
You look like someone
who was on that show.
97
00:04:24,268 --> 00:04:25,384
Are you sure
you didn't represent
98
00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:28,804
the woman who ate her child?
99
00:04:28,806 --> 00:04:32,607
I've never represented
anyone who ate their child.
100
00:04:32,609 --> 00:04:35,110
On Law & Order.
101
00:04:35,112 --> 00:04:39,781
Caroline, I'm sorry
to drag you into this,
102
00:04:39,783 --> 00:04:43,068
but the prosecutor is asking
for you to give a deposition
103
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:45,320
regarding your father's case.
104
00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:49,875
Anything I can do to help?
I'm pretty courtroom savvy.
105
00:04:49,877 --> 00:04:51,743
I mean, I haven't seen
every episode of Law & Order,
106
00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:54,379
just, like, 400 of them.
107
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,299
For instance,
the, uh, judge's hammer?
108
00:04:57,301 --> 00:04:59,668
Not called a hammer.
109
00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:01,920
Reflux! Oh!
110
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:03,305
Sorry.
111
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:05,891
I just... I need to
take a rylindia.
112
00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:07,726
Ah, rylindia.
Does that work?
113
00:05:07,728 --> 00:05:12,681
- Hmm.
- You're welcome.
114
00:05:12,683 --> 00:05:15,434
Well, thank you for coming
all the way out here.
115
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,652
I know I'm in good hands
with you representing me.
116
00:05:17,654 --> 00:05:20,989
Uh, well, Caroline, as much
as I would love to help you
117
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:23,575
and your legal associate here,
118
00:05:23,577 --> 00:05:25,643
uh, the firm won't let me
do it for free.
119
00:05:25,645 --> 00:05:28,864
I mean, your father's case
bankrupted us practically,
120
00:05:28,866 --> 00:05:31,500
and my standard rate
is $1,100 an hour.
121
00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:34,336
You know I don't have
that kind of money.
122
00:05:34,338 --> 00:05:36,004
Last week,
I gave myself a bikini wax
123
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:40,092
with duct tape
I stole from the diner.
124
00:05:40,094 --> 00:05:42,260
I'm gonna need
another rylindia.
125
00:05:42,262 --> 00:05:44,212
Oh, don't take two of those
in under an hour
126
00:05:44,214 --> 00:05:49,684
unless you want to have
an orgasm every time you yawn.
127
00:05:49,686 --> 00:05:53,638
You're welcome again.
128
00:05:55,391 --> 00:05:58,143
Mr. Hutchinson,
I need you to do this.
129
00:05:58,145 --> 00:06:00,812
You can make this go away
as easily as possible.
130
00:06:00,814 --> 00:06:02,481
Please don't make me beg.
131
00:06:02,483 --> 00:06:05,400
The floor's gross,
and my skirt's too short.
132
00:06:05,402 --> 00:06:06,868
Counselor, at this juncture,
133
00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:08,487
I am going to need to
take miss Channing
134
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:13,691
and have a sidebar
over near the bar bar.
135
00:06:13,693 --> 00:06:15,327
How fun is this, by the way?
136
00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:16,795
I'm, like, your lawyer now.
137
00:06:16,797 --> 00:06:19,498
Oh, real fun.
About as fun as that bikini wax.
138
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:23,752
And then I had to spend $14
on neosporin.
139
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:27,722
Don't worry, I know how you
can make $500 in one night.
140
00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:32,477
I've been telling her that
since she got here.
141
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,312
Max, I am not
doing a drug trial.
142
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:36,047
Besides,
it's not enough money anyway.
143
00:06:36,049 --> 00:06:38,350
No, but after I put in my $500,
144
00:06:38,352 --> 00:06:40,569
plus we take $100
from the cupcake fund.
145
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:43,104
You would do that for me?
146
00:06:43,106 --> 00:06:44,722
You know, I always thought
we'd have to use
147
00:06:44,724 --> 00:06:46,658
the cupcake money to get us
out of a legal problem.
148
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,910
I just thought it'd be for you.
149
00:06:48,912 --> 00:06:51,780
Me too!
150
00:06:51,782 --> 00:06:55,033
Welcome aboard, drug buddy.
151
00:06:57,005 --> 00:06:58,255
I can't believe
I'm doing a drug trial.
152
00:06:58,257 --> 00:07:00,591
I won't even use stevia.
153
00:07:00,593 --> 00:07:02,026
It'll be fun!
154
00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:04,461
Just think of it as
a middle-school sleepover.
155
00:07:04,463 --> 00:07:06,413
But with drugs.
156
00:07:06,415 --> 00:07:10,134
Yeah,
a middle-school sleepover.
157
00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:12,269
So when you did this before,
158
00:07:12,271 --> 00:07:14,138
you never got
any side effects, right?
159
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:18,991
Well, no negative ones.
I used to be an "a" cup.
160
00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:22,396
Wow, everybody looks so normal.
161
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:25,149
This is more like
sorority row than skid row.
162
00:07:25,151 --> 00:07:26,650
Hi!
I'm Katie.
163
00:07:26,652 --> 00:07:28,485
Just found out
there's three to a room,
164
00:07:28,487 --> 00:07:30,821
and I was wondering if you guys
have chosen a roomie yet.
165
00:07:30,823 --> 00:07:32,373
Wait, there's three in a room?
166
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:33,574
Yeah, I know.
167
00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:35,242
You want to be careful
who you get.
168
00:07:35,244 --> 00:07:37,661
Anyways,
I'm a self-mutilator,
169
00:07:37,663 --> 00:07:40,965
and, um, I was wondering if
you could keep an eye on me.
170
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:44,001
Just wrestle anything
out of my hands that's sharp.
171
00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:45,636
Uh, you know what, Katie?
172
00:07:45,638 --> 00:07:47,788
We are
self-mutilators too.
173
00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:50,307
So, uh, we kind of
have our hands full.
174
00:07:50,309 --> 00:07:53,010
Yeah,
we're gonna be super-busy
175
00:07:53,012 --> 00:07:55,179
self-mutilating ourselves.
176
00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:56,847
No worries.
177
00:07:56,849 --> 00:08:00,434
Max, you should have told me
about the bed situation.
178
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,803
Untested experimental drugs
is one thing,
179
00:08:02,805 --> 00:08:05,823
but three to a room?
That's barbaric!
180
00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:06,991
It'll be fine!
181
00:08:06,993 --> 00:08:08,692
We just have to pick
the right girl.
182
00:08:08,694 --> 00:08:11,946
What about, uh,
the one in the raincoat?
183
00:08:11,948 --> 00:08:13,313
She looks stuck-up,
184
00:08:13,315 --> 00:08:15,199
like she'd talk
about herself all night.
185
00:08:15,201 --> 00:08:20,170
Yeah, we already
got one of those.
186
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:21,872
What about, uh...
187
00:08:21,874 --> 00:08:23,323
What about Bob Marley shirt?
188
00:08:23,325 --> 00:08:27,711
She looks like she smells.
189
00:08:27,713 --> 00:08:31,715
- Confirmed.
- Right there.
190
00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:33,467
That's who we want.
She looks smart
191
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,885
and like she'd
mind her own business.
192
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:38,689
Hey!
What are you up to?
193
00:08:38,691 --> 00:08:42,175
Nothing.
Just minding my own business.
194
00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,011
Hey, want to be our roommate?
195
00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:46,847
Oh, I just said yes
to a self-mutilator,
196
00:08:46,849 --> 00:08:48,348
but I can get out of it.
197
00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:52,403
She probably loves rejection.
198
00:08:52,405 --> 00:08:54,738
All right, ladies, listen up!
199
00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:56,707
- Hey, Max!
- Hi, Toby.
200
00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:58,242
Heads-up,
me, her, and, uh...
201
00:08:58,244 --> 00:08:59,376
Excuse me, what's your name?
202
00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:00,878
Oh, it's cool,
203
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,379
we don't have to do,
like, the name thing.
204
00:09:02,381 --> 00:09:04,248
A girl after my own heart!
205
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:06,166
- We're roommates.
- Got it.
206
00:09:06,168 --> 00:09:08,502
Now, since most of you
have done this before,
207
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:09,670
I'll make it quick.
208
00:09:09,672 --> 00:09:11,472
Half of you will get a placebo.
209
00:09:11,474 --> 00:09:14,425
The other half will be a testing
a new drug called gladiva,
210
00:09:14,427 --> 00:09:18,896
and no, that's not my stage name
down at the clubs.
211
00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:21,231
Okay, possible side effects
212
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:24,718
may occur over
the next 24 to 48 hours.
213
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,354
They are...
Drum roll please...
214
00:09:27,356 --> 00:09:29,723
Headaches,
vomiting, flatulence,
215
00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,942
tongue-swelling,
suicidal thoughts...
216
00:09:31,944 --> 00:09:34,028
I'm having some right now.
217
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:37,064
- ITW...
- Inability to walk.
218
00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:38,699
Mm, I hope we get that
'cause that's the only thing
219
00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:40,167
that's gonna keep me here.
220
00:09:40,169 --> 00:09:41,785
And ru...
221
00:09:41,787 --> 00:09:43,170
Relentless urination.
222
00:09:43,172 --> 00:09:45,089
Fatigue, seizures...
223
00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:49,626
Camel toe.
224
00:09:49,628 --> 00:09:53,430
I'm kidding.
That's my joke.
225
00:09:53,432 --> 00:09:54,748
That's his joke.
226
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,800
Good,
'cause I was out the door.
227
00:09:56,802 --> 00:10:00,304
Also, TG, EB, CCS...
228
00:10:00,306 --> 00:10:01,805
You want me
to explain those to you?
229
00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:04,024
Not until you see one
happening to me.
230
00:10:04,026 --> 00:10:06,193
And A.L.
231
00:10:06,195 --> 00:10:09,730
Anal leakage.
232
00:10:09,732 --> 00:10:14,018
The Grande Dame
of side effects.
233
00:10:16,404 --> 00:10:18,605
Well, bottoms up.
234
00:10:18,607 --> 00:10:23,827
Max, don't say that
after "anal leakage."
235
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,780
See? This is fun!
236
00:10:26,782 --> 00:10:29,800
Getting paid to eat cookies
and play the game of life.
237
00:10:29,802 --> 00:10:31,835
- Your turn.
- What's the point?
238
00:10:31,837 --> 00:10:33,637
Clearly, I've already
lost the game of life
239
00:10:33,639 --> 00:10:34,838
'cause I'm sitting
in a drug trial
240
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,341
waiting for my "A" to "L".
241
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:39,893
Well, if your "A"
does start to "L,"
242
00:10:39,895 --> 00:10:41,895
you're on the bottom bunk.
243
00:10:41,897 --> 00:10:45,482
I gotta pee.
244
00:10:45,484 --> 00:10:47,618
Ruh-roh.
245
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,902
What?
246
00:10:48,904 --> 00:10:50,187
Mm, it's probably nothing,
247
00:10:50,189 --> 00:10:52,239
but she might be
experiencing RU.
248
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,273
What's that again?
249
00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:54,942
Relentless urination.
250
00:10:54,944 --> 00:10:56,944
She just said she had to pee.
251
00:11:07,489 --> 00:11:10,323
Yeah, that's relentless.
252
00:11:14,213 --> 00:11:15,212
Are you okay?
253
00:11:15,214 --> 00:11:17,681
Yeah.
254
00:11:17,683 --> 00:11:21,885
"RU" sure?
255
00:11:21,887 --> 00:11:23,437
Okay, your turn to spin.
256
00:11:23,439 --> 00:11:24,888
No more games.
257
00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:26,890
I really want to be prepared
for this deposition.
258
00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:29,610
Can you read me the questions
Mr. Hutchinson sent?
259
00:11:29,612 --> 00:11:32,229
Mm-hmm.
260
00:11:32,231 --> 00:11:33,697
"State your full name."
261
00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:35,816
Caroline Wesbox Channing.
262
00:11:35,818 --> 00:11:38,569
Your middle name is "Wesbox"?
263
00:11:38,571 --> 00:11:40,320
It was my grandfather's name.
264
00:11:40,322 --> 00:11:43,073
It also might be a side effect.
265
00:11:43,075 --> 00:11:46,243
"I just slept with a dude
who gave me Wesbox!"
266
00:11:46,245 --> 00:11:48,829
Max, can you just ask me
the next question?
267
00:11:48,831 --> 00:11:51,298
Do you have any knowledge
of investor capital
268
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,200
from the Channing
investment group
269
00:11:53,202 --> 00:11:55,035
being transferred
to offshore banks?
270
00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:56,703
I had no knowledge of it.
271
00:11:56,705 --> 00:11:59,439
- You're boring.
- I'm boring?
272
00:11:59,441 --> 00:12:01,141
I'm just saying,
I'd change the channel.
273
00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:02,643
This is a bad one.
274
00:12:02,645 --> 00:12:04,845
Max, it's not Law & Order.
275
00:12:04,847 --> 00:12:07,264
I'll say it isn't.
276
00:12:07,266 --> 00:12:09,266
Look, tomorrow,
you gotta give them something.
277
00:12:09,268 --> 00:12:10,901
Open your shirt,
hike up your skirt,
278
00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:13,720
show them your Wesbox.
279
00:12:13,722 --> 00:12:15,272
"Did you know anything
about your father
280
00:12:15,274 --> 00:12:18,242
- "illegally siphoning funds?"
- No.
281
00:12:18,244 --> 00:12:20,060
"Have you ever had
any conversations
282
00:12:20,062 --> 00:12:21,745
with your father regarding
said transactions?"
283
00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:22,946
No.
284
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:26,333
"Is your ass leaking
right now?"
285
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:29,536
No.
286
00:12:31,422 --> 00:12:35,909
Ruh-roh.
287
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,385
Nope.
288
00:12:49,692 --> 00:12:51,225
How we doing, ladies?
289
00:12:51,227 --> 00:12:54,862
Any side effects?
290
00:12:59,934 --> 00:13:02,319
Max, are you awake?
291
00:13:02,321 --> 00:13:03,871
Max!
292
00:13:03,873 --> 00:13:07,824
Quiet, you're gonna
wake up Pissy Spacek.
293
00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:10,944
I can't sleep.
My hearts keeps racing.
294
00:13:10,946 --> 00:13:13,413
You should tell Toby.
It's probably a side effect.
295
00:13:13,415 --> 00:13:14,882
No, I'm nervous.
296
00:13:14,884 --> 00:13:16,416
I can't stop thinking
about the deposition
297
00:13:16,418 --> 00:13:19,136
and about my father.
Can I come down and talk?
298
00:13:19,138 --> 00:13:24,057
Not a great time.
I kind of have people over.
299
00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:26,727
Get in here.
What's wrong?
300
00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:28,295
I'm scared about tomorrow.
301
00:13:28,297 --> 00:13:29,479
I'm scared I'm gonna say
the wrong thing
302
00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:31,348
and make things worse
for my father.
303
00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,183
Look, all you have to do
is answer the questions
304
00:13:33,185 --> 00:13:36,236
as carefully as they suggested
and then throw in a wink,
305
00:13:36,238 --> 00:13:38,138
forget to wear panties.
He'll be fine.
306
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:39,690
But that's the thing.
307
00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:41,808
The questions don't say
anything about my father.
308
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:43,577
They're so cut and dry.
309
00:13:43,579 --> 00:13:44,695
They're only asking me
details about things
310
00:13:44,697 --> 00:13:46,580
I know nothing about,
311
00:13:46,582 --> 00:13:49,032
and they're not interested in
the things I do know about him.
312
00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:52,419
That he's warm, and funny,
and generous, and loving.
313
00:13:52,421 --> 00:13:54,004
Like when I was little,
and he and I
314
00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:56,006
would take our plane
to our chalet in deer valley.
315
00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,208
Stop. You might as well
rephrase that to
316
00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,876
"when he and I
would take our guilty
317
00:13:59,878 --> 00:14:02,012
to our guilty
in guilty valley."
318
00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:04,264
Every morning,
before we went skiing,
319
00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:05,849
he would get up
really early and make me
320
00:14:05,851 --> 00:14:07,801
his snowflake
cinnamon french toast.
321
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,336
Sounds amazing.
322
00:14:09,338 --> 00:14:11,838
And as he dusted
the cinnamon and sugar on top,
323
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,191
he'd say,
"look, sweetheart, it's snowing,
324
00:14:14,193 --> 00:14:16,360
snowing just for you."
325
00:14:16,362 --> 00:14:19,229
And then he'd cut it
into these little pieces...
326
00:14:19,231 --> 00:14:21,348
See? I can't even
get the words out.
327
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:23,617
No one will ever hear them.
No one will know.
328
00:14:23,619 --> 00:14:26,853
I'll know.
I heard them.
329
00:14:28,239 --> 00:14:29,873
Another round?
330
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:35,212
Yeah, I'm just gonna
bring my pillow in there.
331
00:14:35,214 --> 00:14:37,864
I don't think Gladiva's
gonna make it to the market.
332
00:14:41,285 --> 00:14:43,236
We'll be doing
the deposition in here.
333
00:14:43,238 --> 00:14:46,156
Oh, wow, this is exactly
how it looks on Law & Order!
334
00:14:46,158 --> 00:14:47,374
Ooh! Ooh!
335
00:14:47,376 --> 00:14:48,908
There's the tiny
typewriter thing
336
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,627
where the actress
who never gets to speak sits!
337
00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:55,999
Leo, Leo, take my picture
near the tiny typewriter.
338
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:01,588
Ladies, ladies.
We only have an hour.
339
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:04,123
We're already behind
because you were late.
340
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:06,309
Sorry, we had to stop
at the check-cashing place.
341
00:15:06,311 --> 00:15:11,431
Yeah, and then a store
to get diapers for a friend.
342
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:13,850
There, $1,000.
343
00:15:13,852 --> 00:15:16,736
No fuss, and luckily, no muss.
344
00:15:16,738 --> 00:15:18,071
Max, do you have
the $100 from the cupcakes?
345
00:15:18,073 --> 00:15:19,136
Yeah.
346
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:23,810
Uh, 40... 60...
80... 90...
347
00:15:23,812 --> 00:15:28,248
5, 6, 7, and...
348
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:32,202
100.
349
00:15:33,954 --> 00:15:35,839
Mr. Hutchinson,
are you having reflux?
350
00:15:35,841 --> 00:15:41,211
No, I-it just became clear
to me what I do for a living.
351
00:15:41,213 --> 00:15:43,830
Okay, uh, Caroline,
352
00:15:43,832 --> 00:15:46,332
if you're ready,
I can bring them in.
353
00:15:46,334 --> 00:15:48,718
Remember,
just stick to the questions
354
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,303
and don't embellish.
355
00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:53,356
I prepped her last night, Leo.
356
00:15:53,358 --> 00:15:54,724
All right, let's go, Max.
357
00:15:54,726 --> 00:15:56,609
Actually, I want her to stay.
358
00:15:56,611 --> 00:15:58,778
I'm nervous,
and she makes me feel better.
359
00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:02,515
Yes, I'm her registered
emotional companion.
360
00:16:02,517 --> 00:16:04,451
Well, this is
a legal proceeding,
361
00:16:04,453 --> 00:16:06,653
and that's
a highly unusual request.
362
00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:09,205
But not improbable.
We googled it.
363
00:16:09,207 --> 00:16:11,040
Yeah, she's allowed to have
an emotional companion,
364
00:16:11,042 --> 00:16:13,209
as long as
both attorneys agree.
365
00:16:13,211 --> 00:16:16,913
Well, I graduated
top of my class at Harvard,
366
00:16:16,915 --> 00:16:21,885
but since you googled it,
I'll try to make that happen.
367
00:16:21,887 --> 00:16:24,921
No, I am unaware
of any of the transactions
368
00:16:24,923 --> 00:16:26,005
you just mentioned.
369
00:16:26,007 --> 00:16:27,757
Thank you, miss Channing.
370
00:16:27,759 --> 00:16:30,176
Now, if you'll just bear with me
a little while longer,
371
00:16:30,178 --> 00:16:32,395
I only have a couple more
pertinent questions.
372
00:16:32,397 --> 00:16:36,983
Your voice is unbelievable.
373
00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:42,155
You could be on Law & Order.
374
00:16:42,157 --> 00:16:43,890
Max!
375
00:16:46,328 --> 00:16:48,778
Withdrawn.
376
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:51,915
Miss Channing,
do you have any knowledge
377
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:53,583
of embezzlement
of any kind taking place
378
00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:55,234
at the Channing
investment group?
379
00:16:55,236 --> 00:16:57,954
No, I had no knowl...
380
00:16:57,956 --> 00:17:01,791
Of any su...
381
00:17:02,794 --> 00:17:04,294
Could you repeat that?
382
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,434
Ruh-roh.
383
00:17:11,436 --> 00:17:12,769
You're having a side effect!
384
00:17:12,771 --> 00:17:14,437
Tongue swelling.
TS!
385
00:17:14,439 --> 00:17:17,140
Uh, counselor,
give us one second.
386
00:17:17,142 --> 00:17:18,274
What is going on?
387
00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:21,277
We took drugs.
388
00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:23,196
Did she just say
"we took drugs"?
389
00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:25,949
Very good, Leo.
You must play charades.
390
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,451
Look, we did a drug trial
to get money for this.
391
00:17:28,453 --> 00:17:30,203
What's the holdup, counselor?
392
00:17:30,205 --> 00:17:31,821
Just give her some water.
I had this once.
393
00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:32,989
It goes away in an hour.
394
00:17:32,991 --> 00:17:34,707
You said you never had
395
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,326
any side effects!
396
00:17:36,328 --> 00:17:38,878
Oh, please.
I died once.
397
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,383
I just didn't want
to scare you.
398
00:17:43,385 --> 00:17:45,618
Miss Channing,
are you aware of any accounts
399
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:48,504
opened under any names
other than your father's?
400
00:17:51,092 --> 00:17:52,175
Just drink the water.
401
00:17:52,177 --> 00:17:55,428
One sec.
402
00:17:57,983 --> 00:18:01,133
Uh, does anyone have
a napkin or a bib?
403
00:18:01,135 --> 00:18:04,487
$1,100, you gotta have a bib
around here somewhere.
404
00:18:04,489 --> 00:18:07,273
All right,
what's going on here?
405
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:10,309
I was just, uh,
informed my client
406
00:18:10,311 --> 00:18:13,830
was part of a drug test
within the last 24 hours.
407
00:18:13,832 --> 00:18:18,117
Drug test, Leo?
That's a good one.
408
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,253
Just another
rich girl on drugs.
409
00:18:20,255 --> 00:18:23,423
Get her into rehab,
and we'll have to reschedule.
410
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:25,425
We'll have to do this
another time.
411
00:18:25,427 --> 00:18:26,542
No, no, no, no, no, no!
412
00:18:26,544 --> 00:18:28,611
No, no!
She's right!
413
00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:30,663
We don't have the money
to do this another time
414
00:18:30,665 --> 00:18:33,933
look, I can tell you right now,
she does not know anything.
415
00:18:33,935 --> 00:18:35,218
She doesn't know
about the money,
416
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:36,636
she doesn't know
about transactions.
417
00:18:36,638 --> 00:18:38,688
She doesn't know
anything about anything.
418
00:18:38,690 --> 00:18:39,856
We are paid up
for three more minutes,
419
00:18:39,858 --> 00:18:41,691
and we are going to use them!
420
00:18:41,693 --> 00:18:45,228
She can't talk, but I know
what she would want to say.
421
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:49,482
Ladies and gentlemen
of the... room,
422
00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:52,518
she would want you to know
who her father really is.
423
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,070
He used to make her snow toast!
424
00:18:54,072 --> 00:18:57,457
And in her words,
he was funny, smart,
425
00:18:57,459 --> 00:19:01,661
and a generous lover.
426
00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:07,166
Generous and loving!
427
00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:09,636
Oh, sorry, yes, yes.
Generous and loving.
428
00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:14,173
Now, I don't know her father,
and I have never met him...
429
00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:15,892
And I would like you
to put that on the record,
430
00:19:15,894 --> 00:19:19,211
actress who's never
allowed to talk...
431
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:22,065
But I do know her,
and she's an amazing person.
432
00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:23,716
And her father
raised her alone,
433
00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:26,886
so he must be
an amazing person too.
434
00:19:26,888 --> 00:19:29,221
Well...
435
00:19:29,223 --> 00:19:32,058
That accomplished nothing.
436
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:35,278
Counselor, what do we do here?
437
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,666
We take a short recess
until she can speak,
438
00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:42,368
and resume
the deposition, on me,
439
00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:47,073
because her father
is an amazing guy, and...
440
00:19:47,075 --> 00:19:51,344
That's what they would do
on Law & Order.
441
00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:53,262
Fine, we'll break for an hour.
442
00:19:53,264 --> 00:19:58,518
Seriously, you sound like
a superhero's boss.
443
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,106
Max, you're the best.
444
00:20:03,108 --> 00:20:05,775
I know.
I did pretty good, right?
445
00:20:05,777 --> 00:20:08,011
I should've gone to law school.
446
00:20:08,013 --> 00:20:11,197
Or High School.
447
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,989
Permission to enter
the judge's chambers?
448
00:20:19,991 --> 00:20:22,709
Permission granted.
Excuse the tubs of bleu cheese.
449
00:20:22,711 --> 00:20:24,210
They're being held as evidence
450
00:20:24,212 --> 00:20:25,945
in the case
against eating here.
451
00:20:25,947 --> 00:20:29,215
I wanted to thank you
for everything you did.
452
00:20:29,217 --> 00:20:31,134
And I know you were gonna
buy yourself a treat
453
00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:32,135
with the drug money...
454
00:20:32,137 --> 00:20:33,803
Yeah, like drugs.
455
00:20:33,805 --> 00:20:36,389
So I got you
a little something.
456
00:20:36,391 --> 00:20:38,725
It's the complete
Law & Order box set!
457
00:20:38,727 --> 00:20:40,593
No way!
458
00:20:40,595 --> 00:20:43,763
That's not a little something.
That's, like, $500.
459
00:20:43,765 --> 00:20:45,848
Or $30 on the subway.
460
00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:48,134
And the guy said
most of them are in english.
461
00:20:48,136 --> 00:20:50,236
Awesome!
462
00:20:50,238 --> 00:20:51,590
Freezer adjourned.
463
00:20:51,591 --> 00:20:57,691
sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
resync by into-the-light
www.addic7ed.com/