- I'm gonna piss. Oh, this is is gonna be bad.
Something funky's going on, like I can't control my bladder.
If I piss blood, can we go to the doctor tonight?
- I feel like [bleep].
Pauly like makes gestures, and I hate that.
I feel like the boys are plotting against me.
- Say something.
- I feel like one of you guys are mad at me for something.
- Hey, it's Roger. Leave me a message.
[beep]
- I haven't seen Roger and I feel like something's up.
- I happen to run into Roger. I'm like "wow!"
I just saw Roger on the beach.
- I am just so pissed off at this moment.
- He's not hanging out with you? - But he's like right there.
Adriano_CSI www.addic7ed.com
- Dj pauly delvecchio!
- I'm going to the Jersey shore, bitch!
- All right, we got a situation.
- I'u the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
- [laughing]
- After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.
- Go vinny! Go vinny!
- You like the boobs?
- ♪ do something crazy
- I'm dragging you guys down one more time.
- Yeah. Totally.
- We'll be barbequing this summer.
Get there safe.
- I think I know what's up. You know what I mean?
Somebody just tried to cause a little trouble.
I can't believe I got [bleep] blindsided like that by her.
We're pretty much finding out who the real troublemaker is,
And um, it's snooki.
[line trilling]
- Yo, what's up, bro? - What up?
I was gonna have you come down or whatever
And handle the business that was unfinished.
- I'm in Miami with mark.
- Oh, you're in Miami? [bleep].
I had planned for my boy unit to come down
But unfortunately for me, the unit's in Miami.
- I'd rather be up there to be honest with you.
- Maybe I'll wait till you get back.
Whatever. - All right.
- Did you know that, um, Frank hung out with deena's sister?
- Yeah, dude. - He called me at 4:00 A.M.
And he was like, "had a good date with deena's sister."
Deena's sister had slept with my brother.
I was like "yo, ask deena's sister
What she wants for breakfast in the morning."
- [laughing]
- I think it's hilarious.
And I want them to continue to hook up
So I can have some more fun with it.
- Supposedly there's some good things about her.
- Really? - They're very good things.
- She likes the [bleep] highway?
- [laughing]
Nope. - Oh, wait a second!
She's a [bleep].
- Hey, I never said that.
- It's a mystery to me if a girl [bleep] to me,
Because I've never seen it
But supposedly deena's sister's [bleep].
You know [bleep].
I'm sure I could use that information to my advantage.
All right, peace. - Later, bro.
- That's my boy.
Now I got backup in case there's a little scrap.
- Well!
- All right, honey. - See ya later, papa-do.
- All right, love you. - Love you too.
- Be safe. - Yes, hon.
- Drink. - [laughs]
- Yo, vin, can I get in the shower now?
- Yo, this girl's been dying to get in there, bro.
- I'm taking a crap. Do you wanna shower first?
- Yeah, just go poop and then I'll just go to the shower.
- Just go poop and I'll clean that [bleep] up for you.
- I'm gonna be chilling out laying down.
- All right. - Yo, is jenni still downstairs?
- I definitely feel like I haven't seen Roger
As much as I should being her.
Our relationship's been so good that I'm kinda waiting
For something to happen.
I'm just like mind-[bleep]ing myself.
- You all right?
- No, it's just that I never had...
I don't wanna talk about it. - All right.
I hate seeing jenni sad.
You know, she's been going through a rough time
Because she misses Roger and I know she's breaking down.
Well, your hair looks gorgeous.
But at least she got her hair done, so that's good.
You look pretty.
- [snoring]
- Hey, dude. Do you wanna go out?
- No, I got a headache.
- I'm just honestly trying to be Mike's friend.
I wanna be close to him and have fun, go out, have drinks.
But I feel like Mike's just brushing me off.
Now I know why people don't wanna hang out with you,
'cause you don't hang out with them.
[hip-hop music]
♪
- Aztec... I call it a sweatbox.
'cause it's not big and there's just sweat and b.O. Everywhere.
I kinda feel like I'm back in Italy.
Minus the armpit hair.
- Jenni's just like in her funk
And I don't know what's going on with her.
Let's give jenni a lap dance. - Really?
- This is annoying.
Honestly, I wanna hang out with my girl.
You're leaving?
- I gotta work in the morning. I'll be all right.
Just have fun. - Okay.
- All right.
I haven't seen Roger.
It's just not my night. So I'm just gonna go to bed.
- Can I get a shot? - What do you want a shot of?
- What's your name? - Deanna.
- Deanna? - Yes.
- I'm vinny.
I know that Deanna is probably a sure thing I would say.
But she's still like a five or a six.
During the weekend,
You're looking for like a seven or an eight.
Go over there for one second. One second.
You gotta go over there for one second.
All right, last resort. - They're ready to go I think.
They're good I think. - Yeah, yeah.
I turn around, and then there's this other girl
That's like really hot.
I'm like yes! You know what I mean?
Hey, that's your boyfriend, that guy you're with?
- That's my brother. - That's your brother?
- That's good for you.
- This girl Nikki's like a straight-up, hot-ass chick.
- - That one's a hundred times better than the other one.
- Vinny, I love you, but... Busted.
- I'm back.
- Hello? - Where the hell have you been?
- All right, you wanna play this game.
Okay.
- I feel like I know where I stand,
And therefore he can go [bleep] himself.
- I'm gonna call my sister now. - [mumbling]
Well, I know the first date went well.
- No comment.
I'm definitely the best wing woman ever.
I'm dancing with this girl,
I'm keeping her away from vinny and the other girl.
- Deena kept the other chick occupied.
That's a good wingman right there.
- I feel like I'm an ultimate good time right now.
- Cheers!
- Jenni left the club.
I'm drunk right now and I have no idea what's going on.
So I just walk home.
Well, okay.
Whoo.
The boardwalk now is kinda like a piece of cake
When you walk on it drunk
Because it's nothing compared to the cobblestones.
Oh, my God. My body's dying right now.
Ugh.
You don't know what goes on.
You're not [indistinct].
[hiccup]
Oh, my God, I've never been this drunk in my life.
- All right, let's find girls.
You help me out, I help you out.
- Wait, do you like guys too? - No.
- You don't like guys at all? What the [bleep]?
That's a challenge to me.
Lesbian girls can like guys.
I'm feminine, I got soft features.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I think I'm a good transition for a lesbian girl.
She don't like [bleep] guys.
- I mean, you're cute, but you're not that cute.
- You good? Let's go.
Roll out. - Nobody's coming.
- They'll come, they always do.
You got someone to [bleep] tonight, you're good.
- Might, I don't know. You know what I'm saying?
I told you who I want, but... Didn't work.
When you take a lesbian back to the straight team,
That is like Christopher Columbus
Like discovering America.
That is a major accomplishment.
- I have the same [bleep] skirt on.
- I'm not gonna [bleep] her. - One in pink and one in blue.
- All right, can you stop pointing out the girl?
'cause then you're gonna ruin my chances...
- Oh.
- If I do have to bang one of them.
I'm [bleep] psycho, so I keep trying with the lesbian girl.
But deena is being the ultimate wing person right now
And keeping the girl deanna on the back burner.
Because we all know that I'm gonna need a plan b.
- So are you dtf? - Dtf?
- Yeah.
- I don't think I would do that honestly.
- No?
- I want deena on my team. You're a good team player.
- Ron. - Where's pauly?
- Is it gay if I [bleep]? - No.
- No homo. - I do it every night.
- Whoa!
- Pauly's walking with a blondie that dtf.
Vinny's walking with the "let's be honest."
And I have the other girl that has no idea
What the hell she's getting herself into.
- This is my room. That's my bed.
- It's nice meeting you. - Nice meeting you too.
- I just can't. I'm not trying to...
- You don't wanna come in? - No.
- It's fine. It's okay, I understand.
- Have fun with... what's her name?
- I don't know. I don't know her name.
- All right. [kiss] have fun.
- Okay, you too. - Good night.
Be careful, okay?
- You too.
- I'm disappointed to see Nikki walk away,
But listen.
I worked hard, you know what I'm saying?
I'm proud of myself.
Ugh.
But tonight is like Christmas.
Deena has a backup girl for me on reserve
Just in case Nikki fell through.
And right now, that's happening.
So it's awesome that I have a girl home
And I didn't have to try.
[dial tone]
[line trilling]
- Hello? - Where the hell have you been?
- [laughing]
Jesse [bleep] took my phone with him yesterday
From the beach.
I drove back to the house. I just got my phone back.
- Oh, you didn't work today?
- No, I took off 'cause I didn't have a phone.
Just don't worr... what's wrong?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
I know you well enough to know something's wrong.
- No, nothing.
- All right, you wanna play this game?
Okay.
- I am just so pissed off at this moment,
I just wanna get off the phone with him.
Bye.
You know what pisses me off?
The fact that he took the [bleep] day off.
You know what I mean?
I get my ass reamed out when he [bleep] tells me like,
"I can't take the day off.
I only have a certain amount of them."
"oh, well, I had to take the day off
'cause I couldn't find my [bleep] phone."
You have a work phone.
I feel like I know where I stand,
And therefore he can go [bleep] himself.
Not gonna ask.
You know what? I'm not gonna talk to him.
Agh, I'm so mad.
- First of all, I'm not apologizing for anything I did.
You said your piece, and then you hung up like a coward.
- Jesus Christ, I didn't think
This was gonna be that type of call.
- [giggling] where we going?
- I don't really care. - Where the two girls at?
- Oh, I have no idea. - You're kidding me.
- You're gonna need to kiss. - Oh, God.
- Why the [bleep] am I up?
Jesus, take the wheel.
Why am I alive?
I don't feel good. I need a [bleep] therapist.
And I need a.A. Meetings...
At this point.
I'm gonna take a little nap.
Whoa.
[crack] whoa!
Whoa.
Oh, phenomenal. Ow, you hurt my eyeballs.
This sun's too powerful today.
Hey, seagull. Good morning!
Daytime, altogether, is so [bleep] annoying.
Like go away.
It got so bright out. I hate you.
In arkansas, it's always dark out.
So you just-- everything's dark always.
[scoffs]
Cool.
- My smush with this girl wasn't that bad.
This was an average girl, average smush.
Nothing extraordinary, but it was still fun.
Release some demons, you know?
- Bye.
- I need a crocodilly.
Something going on in my stomach
That's telling me to poop or throw up.
I feel it.
It's like a walking meatball, marinated in alcohol.
Oh, my god, I'm gonna vomit.
Oh, my god, I really don't feel good.
Oh, my god, I need to go to sleep.
Ew, there's a stain.
[duck quacking]
- Hello?
- Yo, is jenni there? - This is--
Oh, hey, what's going on?
- I'm stuck at work, so I'm gonna be late.
- Really?
Roger's calling me an hour before he's supposed to be here
And telling me that he's running late 'cause he's still at work.
And I'm officially fed up.
- I can probably be there... Like 5:00.
- I have to back by 6:30.
- Well, do you wanna reschedule
For a different day or something?
- No, I mean, if that's how it's gonna be, like whatever.
I just thought that you would try for me.
'cause you know how much it means to me.
I was just calling you to give you the courtesy
That I'm running late.
But if you wanna cancel it, then--
- No, you asked to reschedule.
- Because you had this sound in your voice
Like it wasn't happening.
So I said "okay, do you wanna reschedule?"
I was giving you the option.
Like it's always gloom and doom and drama with you.
- Gloom and doom? - I'm at work, what can I do?
- I always put roger first,
And today I don't feel like I'm first in his life.
He could've did whatever it took to make sure
He was here at 4:00 and he didn't.
You can't be here for two and half hours.
You can't be here.
I asked you to go on the beach with me before...
In the-- when we first got here.
You didn't wanna go on the beach
'cause you weren't ready.
I find out your on the beach with your boys though.
That hurt.
I didn't get a hold of you for 48 hours.
I call, I find out you took a day off
Because you forgot your phone, which you have a work phone
So you could've went to work with your work phone.
But no, you decide to take it off
And go hang out at the beach with your [bleep] boys.
Which I've been asking for three [bleep] weeks to do for you,
And now you wanna be late? You wanna re-cancel?
Go do it. Do what you gotta do.
But just know that I waited for the beach for you,
You never waited for me.
You can't make it, that's on you.
I try--I got up, I'm dressed, and I'm [bleep] ready.
Not doing it.
[sigh]
Cancelled again. - You gonna be all right?
- He knew how much it meant to me today.
[bleep] him. - He's just being [bleep].
He's a guy. They don't understand.
- I have that feeling of letdown
And that feeling of not being first.
But I mean, like, the damage is done.
- Let's go to work. - All right.
We're going on rides on break.
- Oh, I gotta pee. Cool.
- I gotta work with two freakin' meatballs.
You're lucky I don't make a sandwich.
- Whenever me and nicole work together,
We're always bad news bears.
- What's up, guys? - Meatballs are here.
- Spicy meatballs.
- I think it's gonna be meatball problems toy.
- Grab a shirt and let's put a shore store shirt on.
- [burps]
- Uh, I need to get hangers.
- Any major changes to the store,
You have to discuss with me, bro.
- I need hangers, dude. - Just hangers?
- Is that okay?
- Yeah, we gotta get a deal though,
'cause we're in a recession.
- [laughs] recession.
- Sweating balls.
- Danny, do we have a fan?
- Why isn't the air conditioning working?
- Freakin' hot.
- It works better on the floor when you're making a sale.
- O-kay.
- Let's get on the floor. Let's make some sales!
- Who's next?
- Can we do something stupid right now?
- What do we do, we just leave?
- Let's do the follow game. - Okay.
- But running. - Run?
- Yeah.
- Meatballs, where you going?
- [giggling]
- All I see is the hats. I know it's trouble.
- No, wait. Don't run, I'm gonna throw up.
- Trust me, follow me out.
Just play shadow.
- Okay.
- I'm like whatever work. Get real.
I'm over you today. I'm going to have some fun.
- [giggling] we made it.
- Where the two girls at?
- Oh, I have no idea. - You're kidding me.
- Oh, my god. Where did she come from?
- There's this girl--
Man, it's the stalker of all stalkers.
- I'm scared.
- What's up with my brother? You know, deena's sister.
You're telling me it was a smash and dash pretty much.
- [giggling] - where we going?
- I don't really care. - [snooki burps]
- Two shots of soco. - Soco lime!
- Where's my meatballs? - Where the two girls at?
- They beelined it down the bar.
- Oh, I have no idea. - You're [bleep] kidding me.
- Danny's pissed. - You're kidding me.
- How the hell can the meatballs do this?
You can't just leave work without telling anybody.
- All right, pauly,
I'm gonna go look for those [bleep] two dingbats right now.
- Okay. - See what's going on.
All right. - I'll hold down the fort.
- I appreciate it.
- I'll run the whole store while you're gone.
Put the music on! The boss is gone!
Put the music on!
- Oh, hold up. There she is.
- Yeah, crazy, though.
Like the worst I've ever seen in my whole entire life.
Like there's nothing like it.
So there's this girl.
She bought something at the store the other day.
But now I have not stopped seeing this girl.
Every time I turn around, she's there.
I never spoke to her.
I can't even look outside the t-shirt shop,
'cause I keep looking at her and she looks at me in the eye.
And it's scary.
I wanna see what her room looks like.
But not with her in it. You know what I mean?
- Cheers.
- Oh, god.
- No, just hide.
- Are you kidding me, guys?
What the hell are you doing? Deena, come here!
Let's get serious. Come on.
- Right now, danny is being such an annoying--
Trying to get us back to work.
I feel like we're above the law.
You're not my friend anymore.
- The shore store!
- Look who I found, pauly. - Where were they?
- Where do you think they were? - Bar.
- You're cute. - Good guess.
You're gonna make sales, right?
- Yeah. I just need lip gloss real quick.
- Deena, seems like you're in rare form.
Make some sales please. - Yeah.
- I'll help you. - Excuse me, miss.
Where's a good place to get a drink on the boardwalk?
- A drink?
- Yeah, like where's your favorite place?
- Nicole meets this bachelorette girl,
And she's like, "you know I'm getting married."
And we're like, "oh, that's awesome."
Nicole's like, "dee, we gotta get out of here
And we'll drink with this girl."
And I'm like, "all right, we'll go get drinks with her."
- Don't like feel bad. Whatever.
- Where the meatballs?
- Are you kidding me?
- Danny has no control over these meatballs whatsoever.
- How do they do this?
Right now, I hate your two roommates.
I tried. I try to be nice to them.
- You did. - And they just don't care.
So just let 'em know that they'll be in trouble.
- Thanks, my dude. - Thank you, man.
- Punch me out. - You'rere out of here.
- Thank you for shopping at the shore store.
Please come again.
- [snoring]
- Pauly? - Yo.
- How was work? - You don't even wanna know.
- What?
- I gotta tell you something about this girl.
There's the biggest stalker I've ever met
In my whole entire life.
- Oh, dj pauly d with the tattoo?
- She's there every day in the same hat, same outfit.
Same everything. She's crazy.
- You ever see misery?
- Yes, that's what's gonna happen.
- She's gonna smash your kneecaps.
- I hope she feeds me.
A brand-new stalker. She's crazy.
Scary. Help!
For the meatballs then, or--?
- I mean, I don't even know what the plan is.
- Can I go with you to find them?
I am not surprised that the meatballs did the dip at work.
The only thing I'm worried about
Is I'm not getting stuck with mike.
I will find the meatballs. - Let's roll out.
- Play pool somewhere or something.
- All right.
- Oh, wait. There they are.
Goinin or-- - no.
- Have fun. Bye now.
- What's up, guys?
- They're gonna get wasted right now.
Or they're getting wasted.
- Whoa!
- Play with me!
- This is the jwoww that I like.
Her and roger are fighting right now
And she just wants to have a good time.
And so it's like, "missed you!"
- I wasn't getting stuck with mike.
- Oh, my god. Where did she come from?
It's not funny anymore.
- Bro, I'm scared.
Man, there's a stalker of all stalkers.
I cannot look to my right without this girl being there.
- She wants to be a stalker.
She don't wanna be your girl.
Like, she wants to be your stalker.
- Like, vinny, I gotta keep moving.
Can you get me out of here before I flip out?
Yo, where'd she go? - I don't know.
- I'm scared.
- Wanna play pool? - All right.
- What the [bleep]?
Where is everybody? Are you kidding me?
They just left?
I sometimes isolate myself.
I do like to be alone sometimes,
But I also like to know that people care.
Kidding me?
This whole summer been nothing but nice.
And it really doesn't matter because at the end of the day,
No matter how nice I am, the nice guy gets stepped on.
So sooner or later, the bad guy's gonna come out.
- There's pauly's stalker. - Stop, dude, get out of here!
- Ahh! Yo, what is going on right now?
There's a war out there.
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know, but I'm not staying home.
- Are you down for 507? - Where is everybody?
- Ooh.
- Yo, mike! - Yo.
- Coming out. - Yeah.
- Mike's coming. Whoo.
- Yeah. - Let's go now!
- I am very confused right now.
Nicole is acting like she's my best friend.
- I'm happy you're coming out
'cause last night you fell asleep and you annoyed me.
I have a uti. I'm still chugging along.
- Although in the back of my head I have plans of demise,
I'll go with her to get a drink, see what's up.
- You okay?
- I didn't sleep last night 'cause I was so pissed off.
I just laid here.
Me and roger are fighting right now,
Because he called in sick over misplacing his phone.
Yet he gives me [bleep]
For making him call into work for me.
I'm doing the best I can. I try at work.
- Poopie, you'll be fine.
- Oh, we look hot if we dance like this.
- We should've been the strippers.
- Come on, mike! - [burps]
- Team meatballs and mike! - Team meatballs and sitch!
Hey!
- Yeah, we got this.
I'm having fun, vinny's back. We're killing it.
We're playing a couple of chicks.
And we meet this couple from brooklyn, we're playing them.
- Yo, what do I do here, bro?
- Having mad fun. That was [indistinct].
I gotta tell you. Vinny likes you.
He's really shy.
Vinny's back, so I gotta play around with it a little bit.
- What's up? - I'm good, right?
- What? - There you go.
- What's up? - Be aggressive, be aggressive.
- Vinny. Ooh! - See, he's shy. He's mad shy.
He's not liking it at all.
I try to hook you up.
- He keep laying it on me and laying it on me,
Laying it on me.
And then like I can make one move, though,
That'll [bleep] up all of his moves, you know?
Like, for example, there's a specific girl standing--
- I'm sorry.
- There's a specific girl.
- Everywhere we go, everywhere we turn,
There's pauly's stalker right behind us.
We don't know how she gets there,
How she knows where we are.
You, come here. - I apologize.
- Come here. - I apologize.
I apologize. - You.
We think that she snuck a gps system into pauly's blowout,
And that's how she knows where he is every time.
It's crazy.
He always sees you around,
And he's very shy, but he wanted to say hello to you.
- Hello. How are you?
- What's your name? - Vanessa.
So, pauly, you're welcome. - Nice to meet you.
- You're welcome. I'll leave you two alone now.
- That's my sister's name-- vanessa.
- I'll leave you two alone, and you know, we're good.
- For real. He's funny though, right?
I gotta live with him.
It's a war out there as it is,
But me and vinny are putting grenades on each other.
So he's throwing a grenade at me, I'm dodging it.
It's a war.
Gotta go to the bathroom real bad.
- What happened? - Oh, my god.
Fair to say vinny won this battle,
But he will not win the war.
I can't believe you did that to me, bro.
- Well, you asked for it.
- Can I get a rave? Whoo!
- Deena, snooki, let's roll.
- Deena, let's go.
That was fun, dancing on the bar.
- Who would've thought the team fun would've been
The meatballs and mike?
- Yep. - Yeah.
- We hate each other, then we love each other.
- Right now, I am keeping my friends close
And my enemies closer.
- You've proved to me, like, you've been good.
You haven't even started anything.
- Proud of you!
- I am proud of you to be honest with you.
- If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you.
You know what I mean? That's how I am.
But if you're mean to me, then I'm like the worst.
- You're a fun.
Both: You make me fun.
- Even though me and mike
Have had problems and [bleep] like that,
I mean, we can still like go out, drink,
Just have a good time.
Both: We're all vivacious. Vivacious.
- Flamboyant. - Oh, oh, vivacious.
- "flambacious." - "flambacious"?
- Yeah, we're team crazy pants.
- Me and pauly see roger at the gym.
Roger doesn't seem happy.
- Jenni's flipping, dude. I'm not kissing her ass.
You gonna think I'm calling?
You're gonna be waiting a long time for that phone to ring.
- Man, roger don't play around, does he?
- You're a hit, lola.
And I had fun with you today.
Everyone loved you. [cheering]
All: Go, lola! Go, lola!
- Oh, my god, I love vegas.
No one can handle you. 'cause you're from vegas.
She's an innocent girl, trying to make a living
In this economy.
You look like a prostitute.
I love this bitch.
If you got a urinary tract infection, you talk to me.
Just saying.
- Settle down. - [laughing]
- Especially you, deena.
- Yo, deena, I heard you guys come in.
- Last night, we drank a lot.
We drank all through work. We didn't even really work.
- Oh, did you get in trouble? - No.
- He's pissed. - Really?
- Whenever you guys took the dip,
He said he never been so pissed in his whole entire life.
He's hurt that you would do that
Because you guys came to some kind of agreement.
He's pissed. - Yeah?
I'm just like, "oh, my god."
What if I get fired?
Then I have to leave the house. I don't want that to happen.
- Did them a solid by actually going to get them.
When they got back, they bounced on him.
- And he said to us too,
He was like, "this is my business."
He goes, "you gu don't care." he's like, "but I do."
- Cool, I'm gonna get fired.
- You should go apologize to him today
Before you get to work tomorrow.
I'm just saying.
That's what a respectable person would do.
- I should probably call him.
This is like the perfect job. It's right underneath my house.
Like...I'd be stupid to, like, screw up this job.
[line trilling]
- Hello. - Hey, danny.
- Hey.
I'm sorry.
- Apology's not going to get you very far.
I'm pissed at you two. - Are you gonna fire me?
- We'll see what happens. - Come on.
Truly do like danny as a person.
I didn't mean to screw him over.
All right, I'm sorry, danny. - All right.
- All right, bye. - Bye.
- I don't know. It's not looking good.
- Pissed? - He was, like, a little mad.
[device imitating flatulence]
- That was a fluke.
- Is this fun? - Yeah.
- There you go.
- [bleep].
- Oh, this could be fun.
- [laughs]
- Cool.
So how do you play? - You get it in the hole.
- That's what she said.
Whoo!
Who does that?
- How is there a pretzel in my makeup?
- I didn't do it. - Who did?
- Cool.
- Oh, yeah! Chinese food, yeah!
Vinny, Sunday dinner!
- Deena, did you ever find out
How my brother and your sister's second date went?
- They went on a second? - I'm gonna call my sister now.
- Deena's older sister and my older brother,
It looks like they may get together.
And that means like I could become deena's brother-in-law?
- So if our brother and sister get married,
Will you guys come to the wedding?
- And you saw your sister-in-law's vagina.
- You saw dina's vagina.
- Frank is such a nice kid, you know,
And he's been in a relationship for like nine years.
And then deena's sister was his first date since--
- Smash? Oh. - Smush?
- Or probably that too.
- Don't talk about my sister like that.
Would you want me to talk about your family like that?
I don't wanna embarrass her. - Whoa, sorry.
- Yikes, change the subject.
- I think the second date probably went well.
I know the first one went well.
- No comment.
- Mike's being a [bleep], like, making fun of my sister.
I'm like, "yo, don't talk about my family."
Get real! Who talks about my family like that?
Not you, mike. Enough.
- Deena, sister-in-law.
I think it's hilarious that I'm actually playing along
Right now with deena being my sister-in-law.
Give your brother-in-law a hug.
- Oh! - Come here.
Aww.
But I'm really just doing it just to mess with her.
Oh, you-- nobody knows what you do.
[line trilling]
Yo, what's up, [bleep]? - What up, homey?
- What's up with frankie, my brother,
And you know deena's sister? What's up with that?
- I don't know, man. I think um...
They did the damn thing.
And I don't know if they really--
I don't know.
- Oh, are you saying that--
So, uh, you're saying that, uh, he's trying to, you know,
Smash and dash, you know what I'm saying?
- [laughing] you're pretty perceptive,
You know what I'm saying?
- I am getting information that it's becoming the smash and dash
With deena's sister.
I guess I gotta commend him and give him a pat on the back, man,
'cause, uh, you know, he's never been like that.
Really? [bleep] no.
He said that [bleep] had an awesome [bleep] first date.
- Who are you talking to? - Unit.
- About my sister and your brother?
- Yeah, he knows what's up. - Oh.
I am a little disappointed that my sister and frank
Are still an item.
I don't know if I really would say I'm pleased
With being in mike's family.
I mean, he's been nice so far, but...
A leopard never sheds its stripes.
- All right.
- That was a pretty good phone call.
Yo.
- Oh!
[duck quacking]
Ugh!
- Hello? - Mike?
- Yes? - It's joanie, deena's sister.
- Mike? - Yes?
- It's joanie, deena's sister. - Oh, okay.
Uh, yeah, I was actually talking to my boys and [bleep].
And, um, I mean, the word is, you know,
He had an awesome time on the first date.
- No, he's a great guy.
I mean, I do wanna see him again.
I definitely do.
- How much do you guys talk?
- Almost like every day, every other day.
- That's cool, but he just got out of a long relationship
And stuff, so he possibly could have his guard up, possibly.
- Mm-hmm.
- At the same time, I know he likes you.
- All right, good. No, I'm glad to hear that.
- No, only because I want things to work out between you guys.
I think it's kinda cute. - Aww. Thank you.
- I want it to continue to go on
For me to find out some more dirt
And have some more fun.
- All right, well, have a good night.
- Tell your sister that I spoke to you and that I'm very nice.
'cause she thinks I'm the devil.
- Oh, no. I'll tell her.
- All right. - All right, thanks, mike.
- Bye, sweetheart. - Bye.
- Yay! - Oh!
- Okay. - Yeah!
- Oh, why does it do that? - I don't know.
- Yo, I just spoke to your sister, deena.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. All's good.
- Oh, really?
- I'm like, "you're sister thinks I'm the devil,
So next time you speak to her--"
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I don't think you're the devil, mike.
I just think sometimes you can be devilish.
- Yes.
- Until he proves me wrong,
I will always be on my toes when it comes to mike.
- How've you been? I haven't seen you.
- Ah, jenni's flipping, dude.
I'm not kissing her ass. You know what I mean?
- Me and pauly see roger at the gym,
And, uh, roger doesn't seem happy.
- I don't play that game, bro.
Don't talk to me like a 15-year-old on the phone
And think I'm gonna kiss your ass.
And then slams the phone down before I can say anything back.
You know what I mean?
I'm not a little kid. Don't talk to me like that.
- She can do that with the other one, not you.
- She wants to grow up, you know what I mean?
Pick up the [bleep] phone.
But you're gonna think I'm calling?
You're gonna be waiting a long time for that phone to ring.
- Right, right. - I don't play that game, bro.
I'm good to my girl. I treat her like gold.
If she's gonna act like I don't, sell that story somewhere else.
- I actually take roger's side, because roger's a cool guy.
He's an adult, he doesn't play games.
I know that jenni's just being stubborn,
And she's gonna have to grow up and call roger back.
- You coming out tonight?
- I don't know, man. We'll see what's up.
- All right. You know where we'll be at.
- All right, boys. - Later.
Man, roger don't play around, does he?
- Saw roger at the gym today. - What'd he say?
- Do I tell you? [laughing]
He didn't say anything bad. - What?
- More like a message. - What?
- Nothing, I was like "where you been?"
He's like, "just going at it with jenni a little bit."
He's like, "you know, I'm not a little kid anymore.
You know what I mean? Waiting for the phone."
Like you know, like--
Basically, said the usual roger thing,
He's a mature guy... - Now I need a cigarette.
- He doesn't want games and [bleep].
He just--
- I think you're being stupid not calling him.
- Yeah, you're being-- you should call him.
Like he's-- - all right.
I still think roger's in the wrong.
I'm gonna call him, all is forgiven,
And we'll go out and have a good night.
[line trilling]
- Hello?
- So...I don't know, I just wanted to apologize
For that phone call.
- First of all, I did nothing wrong.
I'm not apologizing for anything I did.
I'm good to you.
But you'd be sitting by that phone for a lifetime
If you thought I was gonna call and kiss your ass.
The issue here is trust. - All right.
- And I'm really pissed about it.
- Literally, I'm sucking up my pride,
And all I wanna do is apologize and say I'm sorry.
- I would like to say my piece.
This has been building for a few weeks.
- But I didn't think you were honestly this mad at me.
- I am mad.
You said your piece and then you hung up like a coward.
Now I have the right to say my piece.
You do not trust me.
And that frankly, hurts me, first of all,
And really pisses me off second of all.
Because I've earned it.
It's hypocrisy, jenni.