1
00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:05,614
(Gordon) How are you coping, Jill,
since Terry's passing?

2
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:09,061
I think I'm at the denial stage
in all honesty, Gordon.

3
00:00:09,145 --> 00:00:13,900
I mean, I know he's gone
but I can't quite admit it to myself.

4
00:00:13,985 --> 00:00:15,737
I'll always carry him with me.

5
00:00:15,825 --> 00:00:19,454
Those that you love
are always in your heart.

6
00:00:19,545 --> 00:00:21,900
I've actually got him here, Gordon.

7
00:00:23,705 --> 00:00:26,219
A whole life, just dust.

8
00:00:26,305 --> 00:00:30,218
I mean that's not all of him.
That's probably the equivalent of a leg.

9
00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:34,820
Oh... There are little stones in there,
aren't there, Jill?

10
00:00:34,905 --> 00:00:36,736
Probably just kidney stones, Sue.

11
00:00:36,825 --> 00:00:40,215
No, kidney stones are made of calcium.
They look like actual stones.

12
00:00:40,305 --> 00:00:41,943
Poor Terry.

13
00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:48,060
Dennis said can he wear that
for the wedding?

14
00:00:48,145 --> 00:00:50,579
But he won't look so angry
on the actual day.

15
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,937
- (Mobile ringing)
- Excuse me.

16
00:00:53,025 --> 00:00:54,663
Phone, Linda.

17
00:00:57,545 --> 00:00:59,501
(Jill) Linda's my PA, Sue.

18
00:01:00,705 --> 00:01:01,660
Hello?

19
00:01:01,745 --> 00:01:04,498
Is that... That's not?

20
00:01:05,825 --> 00:01:07,417
Terry?

21
00:01:08,145 --> 00:01:10,943
Jill, it sounds like Terry.

22
00:01:11,985 --> 00:01:14,818
Jill is not available
to take your call at the moment.

23
00:01:14,905 --> 00:01:17,658
And you can't leave a message.
Thank you.

24
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,498
Are you trying to torture me, Linda?

25
00:01:54,105 --> 00:01:55,697
Don?

26
00:01:55,785 --> 00:01:57,138
Mm?

27
00:01:57,225 --> 00:01:59,693
I thought we weren't keeping this.

28
00:01:59,785 --> 00:02:01,741
- What's that?
- Sandra.

29
00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:04,862
Oh, damn! Is that still, um...

30
00:02:04,945 --> 00:02:06,697
Look, I'II...

31
00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:11,696
- Don?
- Hm?

32
00:02:11,785 --> 00:02:13,537
There's a note.

33
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,742
- Right.
- About things that have hurt me.

34
00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:19,214
- Another, um...
- Yes.

35
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,057
Different from...

36
00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:24,135
- I'll get back to you on this.
- OK.

37
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,501
(d Techno)

38
00:02:36,745 --> 00:02:38,497
Jill!

39
00:02:38,585 --> 00:02:42,055
What a lovely surprise!
We had a date the other day.

40
00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:47,337
- Glenn.
- Glenn! How are you?

41
00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:49,541
Not so bad.
I was a wee bit disappointed

44
00:02:55,065 --> 00:02:57,784
You were in there a while.
I waited till closing time.

45
00:02:57,865 --> 00:03:00,379
Mm. I filled the bowl twice over.

46
00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,695
How are you now? You look radiant.

47
00:03:02,785 --> 00:03:06,380
Thank you. Still quite bubbly actually.

48
00:03:09,185 --> 00:03:11,653
Jill, I have to say, I...

49
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:15,624
I find you very attractive. The other night
I thought I'd struck bingo.

50
00:03:15,705 --> 00:03:21,098
Unfortunately, Glenn, I realised that night
I was actually looking for more of a...

51
00:03:21,185 --> 00:03:23,062
spiritual relationship,

52
00:03:23,145 --> 00:03:26,740
being so freshly bereaved
and devastated.

53
00:03:26,825 --> 00:03:29,385
I can understand that, Jill.

54
00:03:29,465 --> 00:03:32,741
I must admit I had several suicide
attempts before I met you.

55
00:03:32,825 --> 00:03:34,861
- This morning?
- No, no.

56
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:36,981
After my wife, Rachel, passed over.

57
00:03:38,505 --> 00:03:39,938
Look...

58
00:03:40,025 --> 00:03:42,414
- I know I'm not your ideal man.
- No.

59
00:03:42,945 --> 00:03:44,537
And you're not Rachel.

60
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,742
For a start, you're much younger
and more attractive.

61
00:03:47,825 --> 00:03:50,419
But that needn't be a problem.

62
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:56,377
I think I might be a lesbian as well.

63
00:03:56,465 --> 00:03:58,217
I've had patches.

64
00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,296
What? To try and stop it?

65
00:04:07,105 --> 00:04:08,857
Mmm.

66
00:04:10,425 --> 00:04:12,256
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

67
00:04:12,345 --> 00:04:13,664
Goodness!

68
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:15,975
Some of you ladies
must have very large...

69
00:04:16,945 --> 00:04:18,936
Mine's tiny. It's like a cat's anus.

70
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,981
Ah, sorry.

71
00:04:21,065 --> 00:04:23,533
I never really got a clear look at Rachel's.

72
00:04:23,625 --> 00:04:27,220
I once got a flash of something grey
when I surprised her on the loo, but...

73
00:04:27,305 --> 00:04:31,583
Hers would probably have been
quite big, Glenn, with all the PE.

74
00:04:32,785 --> 00:04:36,903
Listen, Jill. If you are not doing anything
tonight, maybe we could grab a pizza,

75
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,021
if it's not too greasy on your tummy.

76
00:04:39,105 --> 00:04:42,177
I can't tonight, I'm afraid, Glenn.
I'm seeing a doctor.

77
00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,301
Oh, the diarrhoea, yeah?

78
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,501
No, he's a... new neighbour.

79
00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:50,703
Bit embarrassing, actually.
He's got a little bit of a crush on me.

80
00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:53,538
You must be careful, Jill.
You can't trust doctors.

81
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,978
They lie.

82
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:59,616
They tell you something's cleared up
when you know bloody well it hasn't.

83
00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:02,742
- I'll just try these on. Excuse me.
- Right.

84
00:05:04,065 --> 00:05:05,896
I'll have a browse.

85
00:05:05,985 --> 00:05:07,941
(d Techno)

86
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,376
(d Mis-Teeq: Scandalous)

87
00:05:27,425 --> 00:05:29,620
Oh, that was for a Miss Lamb.

88
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:33,220
Perhaps you'd like to have a day off
from persecuting me, Joy.

89
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,013
Now I shall be out today
doing my Christian works,

90
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,061
so you'll be captain, Linda.

91
00:05:41,145 --> 00:05:42,863
I done sea cadets, Jill.

92
00:05:42,945 --> 00:05:46,017
Linda will be operating
the tan blaster today.

93
00:05:46,105 --> 00:05:47,902
- I'm Linda.
- Well done.

94
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,215
So you go into the booth, Mrs Wickstead.

95
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:51,818
- I'd just...
- I'm talking.

96
00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:56,820
And it will spray you top to toe
at up to 20 miles an hour with the colour.

97
00:05:56,905 --> 00:05:59,703
And Linda will be manning the blaster
from in here.

98
00:05:59,785 --> 00:06:01,616
- I'm not allowed to go in, am I?
- No.

99
00:06:01,705 --> 00:06:04,139
Now, once you are in there,
Mrs Wickstead,

100
00:06:04,225 --> 00:06:07,695
it is claustrophobic, OK?
It is very tight in there.

101
00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:11,983
I go in there myself all the time.
Never failed to find it frightening.

102
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:15,944
And once you are in there,
I ask that you please try not to inhale.

103
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:19,620
- What shall I do about breathing then?
- I suggest you try and stock up

104
00:06:19,705 --> 00:06:22,139
before you go in. That's your best bet.

105
00:06:22,225 --> 00:06:25,103
OK, Linda.
Do you want to boost up the hose?

106
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,141
Off you go, please, Mrs Wickstead.

107
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:35,815
Jill? Who's Mrs Wickstead?

108
00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:37,861
(d Techno)

109
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,856
<i>- Beef, Don, do you like it?
- Mm.</i>

110
00:06:57,945 --> 00:07:00,300
<i>Although Catherine's vegetarian.</i>

111
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:04,776
Maybe that's just as well
cos I am planning quite a meaty buffet.

112
00:07:04,865 --> 00:07:06,935
Catherine just rang actually.

113
00:07:07,025 --> 00:07:10,335
I'm afraid she may not be up to it
tonight, Jill.

114
00:07:10,425 --> 00:07:14,304
But she feels as if she rests all afternoon
she might manage it.

115
00:07:14,385 --> 00:07:16,615
- Hiya, Cath.
- Ah!

116
00:07:18,065 --> 00:07:20,659
Oh. Oh, Jill!

117
00:07:20,745 --> 00:07:23,623
Sorry, I was just having a bit of a sleep.

118
00:07:23,705 --> 00:07:26,742
I thought we'd have a girly afternoon out,
Cathy. Go shopping.

119
00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:30,340
Oh, that's sweet!
I think I just need to rest.

120
00:07:30,425 --> 00:07:32,381
(d Heavy metal)

121
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,457
(Dog growling)

122
00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:48,103
Michael! Go on.

123
00:07:48,185 --> 00:07:50,653
Ooh! Oh, dear.

124
00:07:50,745 --> 00:07:52,781
Sorry, Jill, I'm a bit temp...

125
00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:56,255
Oh, down, boy!
I'm a bit uncomfortable around dogs.

126
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,495
Were you savaged, Cathy?

127
00:07:58,585 --> 00:08:01,053
- That would explain a lot.
- No, no.

128
00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:04,217
I... I just had a rather
uncomfortable experience

129
00:08:04,305 --> 00:08:06,865
with a German shepherd
when I was nine.

130
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,697
He was very persistent.

131
00:08:08,785 --> 00:08:10,901
Were you wearing a skirt?

132
00:08:10,985 --> 00:08:13,101
I was. Well, yes, a party dress.

133
00:08:13,185 --> 00:08:16,336
So you can't lead 'em on
and then cry rape, Cath.

134
00:08:25,785 --> 00:08:27,935
(d Heavy metal)

135
00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:31,657
Do you like Priest?

136
00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:36,297
(Music off)

137
00:08:38,105 --> 00:08:40,016
Jill says you're an actress.

138
00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:41,697
Yes.

139
00:08:41,785 --> 00:08:44,345
I got a lot of connections
with people on the telly.

140
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:46,461
- Really? Who?
- I don't know.

141
00:08:46,545 --> 00:08:50,333
So... It would be quite fun just to... Jill?

142
00:08:50,425 --> 00:08:53,576
All right, Cath. I'll just park up.
I'll see you at Scott's.

143
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:57,817
Oh... Where's... Where's Scott's? Jill?

144
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,861
(d Heavy metal)

145
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:04,180
Excuse me.
Sorry, do you know where Scott's is?

146
00:09:04,265 --> 00:09:06,620
Do you know where Scott's is, please?

147
00:09:06,705 --> 00:09:10,493
Up to the top, turn left,
and then right up to the top again.

148
00:09:10,585 --> 00:09:12,974
OK, all right. Thank you very much.

149
00:09:13,065 --> 00:09:14,623
Oh...

150
00:09:15,545 --> 00:09:17,297
Oh!

151
00:09:19,145 --> 00:09:21,101
(d Heavy metal)

152
00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:44,896
Hiya, Cath.

153
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,737
Come on, Catherine Wheels!

154
00:09:49,825 --> 00:09:51,577
- Oh, dear!
- All right, Cathy?

155
00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,462
(Gasps)

156
00:09:53,545 --> 00:09:56,696
- Ain't that lovely, Cath?
- Yes, very nice.

157
00:09:56,785 --> 00:09:58,935
God, that is gorgeous.

158
00:09:59,025 --> 00:10:01,778
- Isn't that gorgeous?
- (Gasping) That's nice, yes.

159
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:04,698
- God, I'd love that, Cath.
- Mm.

160
00:10:04,785 --> 00:10:06,616
I would love that.

161
00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:08,855
- That is so nice, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

162
00:10:08,945 --> 00:10:10,901
I wish I had that.

163
00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:15,261
God, that is lovely. I love that, Cath.

164
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,575
- I really love that.
- Yes. Yeah.

165
00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,735
- I love it. Do you like it?
- Lovely. Yes.

166
00:10:19,825 --> 00:10:22,464
I love it. I wish that was mine.

167
00:10:24,945 --> 00:10:27,061
- Fancy a cappuccino, Cathy?
- Oh, yes.

168
00:10:27,145 --> 00:10:29,420
- You must be exhausted.
- Oh!

169
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,541
I'll go and grab us a table.

170
00:10:34,465 --> 00:10:37,855
Now, I'm gonna go quiet now
cos I love doing this.

171
00:10:39,625 --> 00:10:41,581
(Orgasmic sighs)

172
00:10:45,185 --> 00:10:47,460
Oh, that's coming off lovely.

173
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:52,261
Ohh...

174
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:55,741
I love doing this.

175
00:10:56,825 --> 00:10:58,577
I really love it.

176
00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:02,701
Ohh!

177
00:11:05,985 --> 00:11:07,941
You got some real chunks.

178
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,813
Ooh!

179
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:14,739
I'm ready for this.
That hill was a bit exhausting.

180
00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:18,574
?5.40.

181
00:11:19,225 --> 00:11:21,261
Gosh!

182
00:11:21,345 --> 00:11:23,097
I did give you that ten, didn't I?

183
00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:26,575
Yeah, and I thought ten... 15 pounds cash
for that petrol, Cath.

184
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:31,695
Oh, can I offer you
some petrol money, Jill?

185
00:11:31,785 --> 00:11:34,743
Call it 20, Cathy,
otherwise it just gets nasty.

186
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:38,022
- Sure, yeah.
- Settle up now.

187
00:11:38,105 --> 00:11:39,618
Let's see...

188
00:11:39,705 --> 00:11:42,856
- Yes. Help yourself.
- Thank you.

189
00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:47,064
Lovely.

190
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,617
- Here we are then.
- Lovely. Thank you.

191
00:11:51,705 --> 00:11:55,539
Oh, well, you have been spoiled today,
Cathy, haven't you, eh?

192
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:59,538
Yes. I was planning just
a quiet afternoon by myself.

193
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,185
Oh, don't talk to me
about Ioneliness, Cath.

194
00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:06,258
I mean, here I am with you,
apparently having a nice time but...

195
00:12:06,345 --> 00:12:09,621
inside I am profoundly Ionely.

196
00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:11,058
Oh, dear.

197
00:12:12,225 --> 00:12:16,138
Well, um... actually,
I bought you a little present.

198
00:12:16,825 --> 00:12:18,861
Just to say thank you for today.

199
00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:20,697
- Cathy!
- Oh, you know.

200
00:12:20,785 --> 00:12:22,855
- Thank you so much.
- All right. OK.

201
00:12:22,945 --> 00:12:24,663
Oh, that's so sweet of you.

202
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,703
Thank you. I love presents.

203
00:12:34,265 --> 00:12:37,735
Isn't it lovely?
It's the one you were admiring earlier.

204
00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:41,501
I didn't mean that one, Cathy.

205
00:12:42,145 --> 00:12:43,498
Oh...

206
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:47,617
- I don't like it.
- Oh, no.

207
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:49,900
- I really don't like it, Cath.
- Oh, no.

208
00:12:49,985 --> 00:12:52,943
Well, we'll take it back.
Don't worry. We'll just...

209
00:12:53,025 --> 00:12:54,504
I really hate it, Cathy.

210
00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,780
- Don't worry, honestly.
- I don't like it.

211
00:12:56,865 --> 00:12:58,935
We'll take it back. It's fine.

212
00:12:59,025 --> 00:13:02,335
Well, there's no time now, Cath.
We've paid for all this.

213
00:13:02,425 --> 00:13:05,815
Well, I mean, one of us
could whiz down there and...

214
00:13:07,905 --> 00:13:10,703
That's sweet, Cathy. Thank you.

215
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,297
Right.

216
00:13:19,105 --> 00:13:20,857
Sorry.

217
00:13:21,865 --> 00:13:23,821
Sorry.

218
00:13:32,905 --> 00:13:35,703
They're still open, Cath. Just.

219
00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:38,538
- Good.
- We've just caught them.

220
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:40,058
- Did you drive?
- Yeah.

221
00:13:40,145 --> 00:13:43,740
See, that's the one I wanted, Cathy.
The encrusted cross.

222
00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:47,261
- Yes, well, have it.
- That's the one I wanted.

223
00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:50,894
- Sorry. A lift would have been nice.
- It's actually cheaper.

224
00:13:50,985 --> 00:13:53,419
(Gasping) Is it? OK, fine. Whatever.

225
00:13:53,505 --> 00:13:55,257
Yeah?

226
00:13:56,305 --> 00:13:58,660
Thinking about it, Cath,

227
00:13:58,745 --> 00:14:01,942
I'd prefer the equivalent in cash, really.

228
00:14:02,025 --> 00:14:04,334
- Would you?
- Yeah.

229
00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:06,381
You prefer the cash. OK, fine.

230
00:14:06,465 --> 00:14:08,660
To the value of the one you wanted.

231
00:14:08,745 --> 00:14:10,781
- No, the other one.
- OK, fine.

232
00:14:11,945 --> 00:14:16,860
Now, I must ask you not to eat
while I'm doing this. Although I will be.

233
00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:19,304
Do you want it on your face?

234
00:14:19,385 --> 00:14:21,023
I do get claustrophobic.

235
00:14:21,105 --> 00:14:26,099
Right. I think you should cos it'll take
some of the puff out of your cheeks.

236
00:14:26,185 --> 00:14:31,498
Now, this is clinically proven
to take you down two dress sizes.

237
00:14:31,585 --> 00:14:33,541
They done it on rats.

238
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:36,458
I'll pop a whistle in your mouth
for safety.

239
00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:39,218
And then we'll let it take for a bit.

240
00:14:39,305 --> 00:14:42,422
But not for too long, right?
Cos I got Slim World at six.

241
00:14:42,505 --> 00:14:45,178
Me and Dennis
always go for a curry first.

242
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:54,504
Do people know I'm here, Jill?
I haven't had any other visitors.

243
00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:58,624
Oh, Terry, I've told absolutely everybody
you're here, darlin'.

244
00:14:58,705 --> 00:15:01,936
Sadly, you cannot force people to care.

245
00:15:03,265 --> 00:15:04,744
I'll tell you what.

246
00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:06,975
I got you a little prezzie.

247
00:15:07,065 --> 00:15:09,420
- Oh!
- There you go.

248
00:15:09,505 --> 00:15:11,223
Your Journey To Death?

249
00:15:11,305 --> 00:15:13,102
Well, Dr Wivel recommended it.

250
00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:16,575
He got one for me as well called
Your Whole Life Ahead Of You.

251
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,338
Just to know we're both preparing.

252
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,660
I'll take that for you, Terry.

253
00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:31,140
Don't want to feed the cancer, Terry.
There we are.

254
00:15:33,345 --> 00:15:36,143
Did you want to show Mrs Tyrrell
some of the wigs, Terry?

255
00:15:36,225 --> 00:15:38,341
- (Jill) Wigs?
- I might not need one.

256
00:15:38,425 --> 00:15:42,941
Not everybody who has the treatment
loses their hair.

257
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,340
Excuse me.

258
00:15:47,425 --> 00:15:49,256
Do you do cappuccino, please?

259
00:15:49,345 --> 00:15:51,654
No. Sorry.

260
00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,861
She's a nasty piece of work.

261
00:15:57,105 --> 00:15:59,983
I didn't know you liked cappuccino.

262
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:03,739
Maybe I'm growing as a woman, Terry.

263
00:16:07,105 --> 00:16:10,620
I won't be spoken to like that.
She can keep her bitterness to herself.

264
00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:13,303
Bye, darling.

265
00:16:13,385 --> 00:16:14,943
I'll see you later.

266
00:16:15,025 --> 00:16:16,777
Bye, then.

267
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:21,255
(d Techno)

268
00:16:34,585 --> 00:16:36,735
(d Sade: Your Love Is King)

269
00:16:36,825 --> 00:16:38,383
(Dog barking)

270
00:16:47,985 --> 00:16:49,941
(Doorbell)

271
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,221
- Hiya, Don.
- Hi there.

272
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:02,295
Cathy!

273
00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:04,740
- Hi there.
- Hello.

274
00:17:05,865 --> 00:17:07,696
Oh, lovely.

275
00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:11,735
Spot the alcoholic, Cathy.
Two bottles of wine.

276
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:15,500
Do you want to go through, Don?
There's a corkscrew in the kitchen.

277
00:17:15,585 --> 00:17:16,984
Oh, Cathy.

278
00:17:17,065 --> 00:17:18,134
Hello.

279
00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:20,420
You up to pulling a little cracker, Cath?

280
00:17:20,505 --> 00:17:23,463
- Yes. Yeah.
- Party, innit?

281
00:17:24,105 --> 00:17:25,060
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

282
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,897
Jill wins!

283
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:29,374
- Never very sporty.
- Here you are, Cathy.

284
00:17:30,505 --> 00:17:32,257
You have the little hat.

285
00:17:33,025 --> 00:17:36,540
It is technically mine but...
There we are.

286
00:17:37,545 --> 00:17:39,900
Oh, you got quite a big head, Cath.

287
00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:41,657
Is that part of the illness?

288
00:17:41,745 --> 00:17:43,463
No, I don't think so.

289
00:17:43,545 --> 00:17:45,456
Pardon?

290
00:17:52,745 --> 00:17:54,463
(d Sade: Sweetest Taboo)

291
00:17:54,545 --> 00:17:56,820
Here we are, Don.

292
00:17:57,745 --> 00:17:59,258
Is Catherine OK?

293
00:18:00,065 --> 00:18:04,422
Gripey tum. I think she's having
a little blow-off outside.

294
00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:11,062
Could you...

295
00:18:11,145 --> 00:18:13,181
stomach a bit of tongue, Don?

296
00:18:13,265 --> 00:18:15,017
Sorry?

297
00:18:16,785 --> 00:18:18,662
We've got...

298
00:18:18,745 --> 00:18:20,940
ox, lamb,

299
00:18:21,025 --> 00:18:24,176
deer, sheep.

300
00:18:24,265 --> 00:18:27,018
And that one is duck.

301
00:18:27,905 --> 00:18:29,975
I think I'm all right actually, Jill.

302
00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,661
Ducky tongue go down.

303
00:18:34,985 --> 00:18:36,657
(Dog barking, Cath screaming)

304
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:38,098
No, no! Oh, dear.

305
00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:42,304
He looks like a man of means, don't he?

306
00:18:42,385 --> 00:18:44,694
Professional man.

307
00:18:44,785 --> 00:18:47,902
I mean, I like him, Don,
cos he's just getting on with it.

308
00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:53,620
Sometimes though,
I can feel him looking at me.

309
00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:55,855
Undressing me with his eyes.

310
00:18:57,185 --> 00:19:00,143
Following me round the room.
On his horse.

311
00:19:00,225 --> 00:19:01,897
(Dog barking)

312
00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,816
Is Catherine OK?

313
00:19:05,905 --> 00:19:08,863
- (Turns volume up)
- (Doorbell)

314
00:19:14,225 --> 00:19:16,181
(Mobile ringing)

315
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,536
Hello? Don Cole.

316
00:19:22,865 --> 00:19:25,982
Who? Oh. Er...

317
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:28,260
Right. Yeah.

318
00:19:29,185 --> 00:19:30,823
OK... Catherine.

319
00:19:36,065 --> 00:19:38,021
She shut the door on me, Don.

320
00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:40,744
It blew shut, Cathy.

321
00:19:40,825 --> 00:19:43,419
And then the dog...

322
00:19:43,505 --> 00:19:45,621
Oh, Cathy.

323
00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:48,902
He does get excited at parties, Cath.

324
00:19:48,985 --> 00:19:50,304
(Cathy screams)

325
00:19:50,385 --> 00:19:51,943
Oh!

326
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,095
Jill!

327
00:19:54,185 --> 00:19:56,141
I want to go home, Don.

328
00:19:58,945 --> 00:20:00,697
Terry died.

329
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:10,454
Excuse me.

330
00:20:11,985 --> 00:20:14,624
There we are. That one's for you, Don.

331
00:20:15,705 --> 00:20:17,457
Mm.

332
00:20:19,465 --> 00:20:21,456
Jill.

333
00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:25,141
There we go.

334
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,659
Sorry. I can't eat meat, Jill.

335
00:20:27,745 --> 00:20:29,417
It's mostly gristle, Cath.

336
00:20:29,985 --> 00:20:31,623
No, I'm vegetarian.

337
00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:34,897
These prawns are nice.

338
00:20:37,425 --> 00:20:39,575
Rich. Sort of...

339
00:20:39,665 --> 00:20:41,018
spicy.

340
00:20:41,105 --> 00:20:43,858
Smashed prawns in a milky basket.

341
00:20:43,945 --> 00:20:46,015
I have taken their faces off, Cath.

342
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:51,705
That looks like a panty-liner, doesn't it?

343
00:20:57,745 --> 00:20:59,144
Um...

344
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:02,181
More wine, anyone?

345
00:21:02,265 --> 00:21:04,017
Thank you. Lovely.

346
00:21:08,785 --> 00:21:11,697
Do you want a bit of milk with that, Cath?

347
00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:17,103
Milk for Jill.

348
00:21:22,505 --> 00:21:24,461
(d Mud: Tiger Feet)

349
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,741
That's it, Cathy! Yaay!

350
00:21:28,905 --> 00:21:30,861
Woo-hoo!

351
00:21:30,945 --> 00:21:33,095
Shake it all about. Whoo!

352
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:40,861
Sorry. Jill, actually, I don't feel very well.

353
00:21:40,945 --> 00:21:43,698
Oh, Cathy, you've got MS.

354
00:21:44,985 --> 00:21:48,694
Let's see.
How about we have a game of...

355
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,741
party balloon!

356
00:21:50,825 --> 00:21:52,224
OK, Don?

357
00:21:52,305 --> 00:21:53,704
OK.

358
00:21:53,785 --> 00:21:55,582
That's it.

359
00:21:55,665 --> 00:21:57,417
Ooh!

360
00:21:57,505 --> 00:21:59,223
Your turn, Cath.

361
00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:01,580
I can't grip that, Don. I don't...

362
00:22:01,665 --> 00:22:03,940
- Oh, Don.
- Good girl, Cathy. Good girl

363
00:22:04,025 --> 00:22:06,016
Sorry. I think it was...

364
00:22:06,105 --> 00:22:07,094
Wheee!

365
00:22:07,185 --> 00:22:09,824
The prawns. I just feel... I feel a bit.

366
00:22:09,905 --> 00:22:11,463
Come on, my go.

367
00:22:11,545 --> 00:22:13,695
That's it. Just feed it in slightly.

368
00:22:13,785 --> 00:22:15,503
(Cathy) Sorry, Jill.

369
00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:18,497
Have you got any Pepto-Bismol?

370
00:22:19,145 --> 00:22:21,579
Cupboard under the sink, Cathy,
for medicine.

371
00:22:32,945 --> 00:22:34,697
Oh!

372
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,777
Oh, Cathy.

373
00:22:43,345 --> 00:22:46,382
You should have said.
I'd have taken you.

374
00:22:47,345 --> 00:22:49,301
Aww.

375
00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:52,256
You had a nice time though, Cathy?

376
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,504
(Jill) Don!

377
00:22:55,385 --> 00:22:57,341
(Whistling)

378
00:23:01,265 --> 00:23:03,415
(Thud)

379
00:23:03,505 --> 00:23:05,257
(Phone)

380
00:23:08,225 --> 00:23:12,741
<i>(Jill on answering machine)
Hi, Cath. Hi, Don. Sorry to bother you.</i>

381
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:16,454
<i>It's just that I was wondering
if I could pop over</i>

382
00:23:16,545 --> 00:23:19,218
<i>cos I'm not feeling very well.</i>

383
00:23:33,425 --> 00:23:35,381
Don?

384
00:23:37,025 --> 00:23:38,617
Jill?

385
00:23:38,705 --> 00:23:42,937
Hiya, Don. Sorry to bother you.

386
00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:47,501
It's just that I found a lump.

387
00:23:48,025 --> 00:23:49,981
Right. Um...

388
00:23:50,825 --> 00:23:55,137
The surgery opens at nine tomorrow, Jill,
so make an appointment.

389
00:23:55,225 --> 00:24:00,015
Sorry, Don. It's just...
You know, with Terry and everything,

390
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,936
I'm quite afraid.

391
00:24:05,785 --> 00:24:08,094
I really can't feel anything, Jill.

392
00:24:08,185 --> 00:24:09,937
I know they're small, Don.

393
00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:12,781
No, I can't feel any lumps.

394
00:24:14,665 --> 00:24:16,621
(Sighs of pleasure)

395
00:24:19,305 --> 00:24:22,183
I don't know what I'll do
now Terry's gone.

396
00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:24,697
I mean, who'd want me, Don?

397
00:24:25,425 --> 00:24:27,734
Widow in her late 20s with a...

398
00:24:28,825 --> 00:24:31,180
zest for life and a yearning to sing?

399
00:24:31,265 --> 00:24:32,823
Mm.

400
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,861
(Sighs of pleasure)

401
00:24:43,425 --> 00:24:45,381
(Sighing)

402
00:24:54,305 --> 00:24:56,739
What is it you look for in a woman, Don?

403
00:24:56,825 --> 00:24:59,385
Thickening of the tissue,
discharge from the nipple.

404
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:01,456
I meant looks-wise.

405
00:25:01,545 --> 00:25:05,458
(Clears throat)
I think we're done now here, Jill.

406
00:25:13,025 --> 00:25:17,143
She thought she'd found a lump.
I was just...

407
00:25:17,905 --> 00:25:19,941
You're overreacting, darling.

408
00:25:20,025 --> 00:25:22,061
That's what you said about Sandra.

409
00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:24,181
Nothing happened with Sandra.

410
00:25:24,265 --> 00:25:26,540
Well, it did. You kissed her.

411
00:25:27,145 --> 00:25:28,578
Catherine, I didn't...

412
00:25:28,665 --> 00:25:30,223
initiate it.

413
00:25:32,065 --> 00:25:34,818
What about the fondling
and mutual masturbating?

414
00:25:34,905 --> 00:25:36,543
Again, Sandra took the lead.

415
00:25:36,625 --> 00:25:40,584
I mean, you've held on to this
for far too long, darling.

416
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:43,338
I thought we talked about forgiveness.

417
00:25:46,105 --> 00:25:48,300
I just...

418
00:25:48,385 --> 00:25:50,057
I just feel...

419
00:25:50,145 --> 00:25:52,295
ugly and...

420
00:25:52,385 --> 00:25:54,023
old and...

421
00:25:54,105 --> 00:25:56,494
inadequate.

422
00:25:56,585 --> 00:25:59,179
Come on, darling. You're not...

423
00:25:59,265 --> 00:26:01,017
old.

424
00:26:03,065 --> 00:26:04,817
Oh!

425
00:26:40,705 --> 00:26:42,457
Jill?

426
00:26:43,105 --> 00:26:45,460
What time is it?

427
00:26:45,545 --> 00:26:47,501
It's late.

428
00:26:48,865 --> 00:26:50,821
What's wrong?

429
00:26:50,905 --> 00:26:52,702
It's everything, Terry.

430
00:26:53,785 --> 00:26:55,423
I just feel...

431
00:26:55,505 --> 00:26:57,461
so alone.

432
00:26:58,465 --> 00:27:00,615
Well, I'm still here.

433
00:27:00,705 --> 00:27:02,377
Hardly.

434
00:27:02,465 --> 00:27:05,423
No, look, Jill, I'm glad you've come...

435
00:27:08,665 --> 00:27:10,462
Sorry.

436
00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:13,901
- I've got some news.
- Oh, can't it wait, Terry?

437
00:27:13,985 --> 00:27:17,534
- This isn't all about you.
- What's upset you?

438
00:27:20,585 --> 00:27:23,053
Well, your upcoming death for a start.

439
00:27:25,025 --> 00:27:27,664
Well, Jill, it so happens...

440
00:27:27,745 --> 00:27:31,579
I don't think you have any idea
how much a funeral costs.

441
00:27:31,665 --> 00:27:34,623
Well... No, well, that's just it, you see.

442
00:27:35,305 --> 00:27:37,296
Dr Wivel told me earlier...

443
00:27:38,185 --> 00:27:40,619
it looks like I'm responding to treatment.

444
00:27:40,705 --> 00:27:43,503
I don't think there's gonna be
a funeral, Jill.

445
00:27:45,585 --> 00:27:47,098
Terry.

446
00:27:47,185 --> 00:27:49,460
You cannot muck me around like this.

447
00:27:49,545 --> 00:27:52,582
I've made arrangements and that is that.