1
00:00:03,089 --> 00:00:05,057
Hey, Mandy!
Guess whose eighth grade class
2
00:00:05,091 --> 00:00:08,494
is going to your high school
next week to get oriented?
3
00:00:08,528 --> 00:00:09,961
What!
4
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,564
♪ Yeah, uh-huh ♪
5
00:00:12,599 --> 00:00:14,233
♪ yeah ♪
6
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,285
No.
7
00:00:16,319 --> 00:00:18,570
- No. Stop. No. Stop. N-no.
- Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:18,605 --> 00:00:20,823
- ♪ Yep, yep, yep ♪
- Stop it.
9
00:00:20,857 --> 00:00:23,359
What's the problem?
10
00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,611
What if she talks to me?
What if she embarrasses me?
11
00:00:25,645 --> 00:00:28,530
Yeah, what if she doesn't
stop doing that?
12
00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:33,002
Please. I had to deal with
you being a dork around me.
13
00:00:33,036 --> 00:00:34,870
Do you remember when you
skated up to my locker
14
00:00:34,921 --> 00:00:36,505
wearing those stupid heelys?
15
00:00:37,841 --> 00:00:40,542
Yeah, I mean--
But look at me now, right?
16
00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,845
Wow.
17
00:00:42,879 --> 00:00:46,015
Ohh. I refuse to believe
you're going to high school,
18
00:00:46,099 --> 00:00:47,683
because you will always be
19
00:00:47,717 --> 00:00:50,552
my baby-waybee-
cutie-beauty-feauty!
20
00:00:50,603 --> 00:00:51,720
Mmm...
21
00:00:51,771 --> 00:00:53,222
Mom, those aren't words.
22
00:00:53,273 --> 00:00:55,841
Oh.
23
00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:58,227
Anyway, girls,
prepare to be impressed,
24
00:00:58,278 --> 00:01:01,313
because your mother--
moi--
25
00:01:01,347 --> 00:01:03,532
has been nominated for an award
26
00:01:03,566 --> 00:01:06,402
honoring the volunteer
parent of the year
27
00:01:06,453 --> 00:01:08,570
at Eve's school.
28
00:01:08,605 --> 00:01:10,188
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
29
00:01:10,206 --> 00:01:12,157
Hold your applause, because
I just got off the phone
30
00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:14,526
with the principal, who told me
to prepare a few words,
31
00:01:14,544 --> 00:01:18,297
which means... there's
a good chance I'm gonna win.
32
00:01:18,364 --> 00:01:19,865
- That's great, mom.
- Yeah, mom.
33
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:21,467
Yeah, we're really
excited for you.
34
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:22,868
Yeah, thanks,
but I have to say,
35
00:01:22,886 --> 00:01:25,704
the best part is being able
to sit here with you girls
36
00:01:25,722 --> 00:01:26,889
and enjoy my moment...
37
00:01:26,923 --> 00:01:30,392
Peyton Manning showed up
at the store today!
38
00:01:30,427 --> 00:01:31,810
In the sun.
39
00:01:31,845 --> 00:01:32,961
- Listen!
- What?!
40
00:01:32,996 --> 00:01:34,430
He came down,
41
00:01:34,481 --> 00:01:36,214
he looked right at me
and said, "You're Outdoor Man!"
44
00:01:39,786 --> 00:01:42,604
He's carrying Ed like a football!
45
00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:46,742
Ed's smiling,
but he wasn't happy.
46
00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:50,746
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:50,780 --> 00:01:52,331
- Mike?
- Here.
48
00:01:52,365 --> 00:01:54,583
Oh, man, you are not
gonna believe this.
49
00:01:54,617 --> 00:01:56,568
- You know Gina Armstrong?
- Uh-huh.
50
00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:58,570
No, you don't.
51
00:01:58,638 --> 00:02:01,340
Then why did you ask me?
52
00:02:01,374 --> 00:02:04,460
Anyway, she got
her husband's landscaping firm
53
00:02:04,511 --> 00:02:07,596
to donate sod
for the new baseball field.
54
00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,298
That's good news.
Right field's like a swamp.
55
00:02:09,349 --> 00:02:11,049
We lost a couple kids there
last year
56
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,185
'cause they didn't have
snorkels.
57
00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:15,554
Honey, it's-- it's like
she's trying to buy
58
00:02:15,588 --> 00:02:17,639
the volunteer parent award.
59
00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:19,808
Calm down. You're a shoo-in
for this award.
60
00:02:19,859 --> 00:02:21,860
Maybe they're just trying
to level the playing field
61
00:02:21,895 --> 00:02:24,196
by literally leveling
the playing field.
62
00:02:25,865 --> 00:02:27,983
You know, if she swoops in
and wins this thing
63
00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:30,702
after all my hard work--
the-- the carnivals,
64
00:02:30,737 --> 00:02:33,822
the bake sales,
the spaghetti dinners.
65
00:02:33,873 --> 00:02:35,440
Oh, you know what?
66
00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:37,993
I-I spent my birthday
in a dunk tank.
67
00:02:38,044 --> 00:02:41,580
It was 43 degrees,
and it smelled like urine.
68
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,784
I thought you didn't care
about these awards.
69
00:02:45,802 --> 00:02:47,669
I don't. 15 years
of volunteering,
70
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,721
and I never cared
about the recognition...
71
00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:52,508
And I just
want the world to know that!
72
00:02:56,429 --> 00:02:58,397
- Hey, boss, you rang?
- Yeah, come in, Mike.
73
00:02:58,431 --> 00:03:00,182
Have you looked at this market research?
74
00:03:00,233 --> 00:03:02,968
I did that market research.
75
00:03:02,986 --> 00:03:04,636
Well, then I don't need
to tell you
76
00:03:04,654 --> 00:03:06,655
that we have to increase
our-- our brand awareness
77
00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:08,023
among young males
78
00:03:08,074 --> 00:03:10,075
and reach the outdoor men
of tomorrow, right?
79
00:03:10,109 --> 00:03:12,310
Right. Unfortunately,
the Outdoor Man of tomorrow
80
00:03:12,328 --> 00:03:15,981
tends to be
the shoplifters of today.
81
00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:19,001
I've been kicking around
an idea. All right?
82
00:03:19,035 --> 00:03:21,336
- What do you think of this?
- All righty.
83
00:03:21,371 --> 00:03:23,288
Yeah, what if we released
84
00:03:23,322 --> 00:03:27,259
an Outdoor Man action figure
inspired by you?
85
00:03:27,293 --> 00:03:28,844
Look at that.
86
00:03:28,878 --> 00:03:31,513
Wow, like a superhero?
Huh?
87
00:03:31,548 --> 00:03:33,215
Who said anything
about a s--
88
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:35,350
Y-you think you're
a superhero?
89
00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:37,302
You brought it up, Ed.
90
00:03:37,336 --> 00:03:39,688
I have a lead
with a Chinese toy company.
91
00:03:39,722 --> 00:03:41,240
- We'll get 'em cheap.
- I don't know.
92
00:03:41,274 --> 00:03:42,891
I don't want that kind
of recognition
93
00:03:42,942 --> 00:03:45,010
from the communists.
94
00:03:45,028 --> 00:03:47,062
You-- you just want
super powers?
95
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:48,864
You brought it up!
- Okay.
96
00:03:48,898 --> 00:03:50,365
Who wants super powers?
97
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,783
Mike does.
98
00:03:51,818 --> 00:03:53,702
If I could have one power,
it would be flight.
99
00:03:53,736 --> 00:03:55,120
How about you,
Mr. Alzate?
100
00:03:55,154 --> 00:03:59,691
The ability to digest
any food easily.
101
00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:05,747
If you could have one power,
that would be it?
102
00:04:05,798 --> 00:04:07,916
You have no idea
the kind of night that--
103
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:10,002
That I had last night.
104
00:04:11,537 --> 00:04:14,022
- I think my power's way better than yours.
- Yeah.
105
00:04:14,057 --> 00:04:15,557
What, are you keeping score?
106
00:04:15,592 --> 00:04:17,226
Wait a second.
107
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,094
Keeping score-- I think
I got an idea
108
00:04:19,145 --> 00:04:21,980
how we could bring in
the younger demographic.
109
00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:24,049
Can I change
my power to invisibility?
110
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,585
I wish you would.
111
00:04:28,054 --> 00:04:29,438
Hey, honey.
112
00:04:31,441 --> 00:04:33,775
So how was orientation?
113
00:04:33,826 --> 00:04:35,577
Crazy. How did you make it
through high school?
114
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,030
I had a baby
and finished online.
115
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:42,334
Oh, right.
116
00:04:42,368 --> 00:04:44,836
Mom...
117
00:04:44,871 --> 00:04:46,455
High school is so different.
118
00:04:46,506 --> 00:04:48,540
Kids making out in the halls,
tattoos,
119
00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:50,125
and if there were any girls
without big boobs,
120
00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:52,077
they were hiding.
121
00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:55,881
Honey, I know it can be
overwhelming,
122
00:04:55,915 --> 00:04:57,866
but it doesn't start
until next fall.
123
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,635
I promise you'll fit in.
You just--
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00:04:59,686 --> 00:05:01,637
You just have to find
your... thing.
125
00:05:01,671 --> 00:05:02,921
What was your thing?
126
00:05:02,939 --> 00:05:04,473
Rainbow suspenders
127
00:05:04,524 --> 00:05:06,775
and a tube top.
128
00:05:11,698 --> 00:05:14,549
You know, it doesn't
sound hot, but it was.
129
00:05:16,903 --> 00:05:18,987
Do we have company,
or is it tiny dinner night?
130
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:20,656
Oh...
131
00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:22,824
No, some parent volunteers
and I are arranging
132
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:26,628
the displays for the auction
before the awards ceremony.
133
00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:27,946
The award you're gonna win?
134
00:05:27,964 --> 00:05:30,716
Shh! It's not official yet!
135
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:32,501
- Hey, everybody!
- Hi!
136
00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:35,087
I have some rewards
for all your hard labor.
137
00:05:35,121 --> 00:05:37,506
- Oh, thank you.
- There you go.
138
00:05:37,557 --> 00:05:39,341
- Except for you, Mel.
- You were ten minutes late.
139
00:05:39,392 --> 00:05:41,226
I was!
140
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:43,145
Vanessa, you're funny
because your jokes
141
00:05:43,179 --> 00:05:45,314
are based on true events.
142
00:05:45,348 --> 00:05:47,766
- Please, sit down. Take a break.
- Ohh...
143
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,301
I mean, come on. You've
basically won the award already.
144
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,804
Oh, please. No, there are a lot
of other candidates,
145
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:54,823
and, uh, Gina Armstrong's
husband did donate sod
146
00:05:54,857 --> 00:05:56,408
for the new baseball field.
147
00:05:56,442 --> 00:05:58,327
She's right. Everybody's
talking about the sod.
148
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:01,312
But Vanessa's been
an unsung hero for years.
149
00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:03,982
She painted the band room
with a 104-degree fever.
150
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,119
Oh... Liz, we all
worked really hard that day.
151
00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:10,155
But my doctor did say I
could have died.
152
00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:11,990
Right. Right.
153
00:06:12,008 --> 00:06:15,377
And your husband donating
the scoreboard today.
154
00:06:15,428 --> 00:06:18,597
Exactly. Wait-- what?!
What scoreboard?
155
00:06:18,631 --> 00:06:20,582
For the baseball field.
156
00:06:20,616 --> 00:06:21,933
You didn't know?
157
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:24,169
Oh, score-- scoreboard.
158
00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:26,221
Uh, yeah. Of course.
No. Yes.
159
00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:28,807
Everyone's talking
about the scoreboard.
160
00:06:30,026 --> 00:06:32,144
I thought they were
talking about the sod.
161
00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:34,012
The sod and the scoreboard.
162
00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:39,368
I don't know
what you're mad about.
163
00:06:39,402 --> 00:06:41,903
Gina's husband
leveled the playing field.
164
00:06:41,954 --> 00:06:43,855
I just tilted it back
in our direction.
165
00:06:43,873 --> 00:06:45,857
But, Mike, it looks like you're
trying to buy me the award.
166
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:47,793
It doesn't mean as much
if you buy it.
167
00:06:47,827 --> 00:06:50,195
It doesn't mean anything
if you don't win it.
168
00:06:50,213 --> 00:06:52,247
So, what, so you think
I'm not gonna win it?
169
00:06:52,298 --> 00:06:53,865
I thought you didn't think
you were gonna win it.
170
00:06:53,883 --> 00:06:56,367
Why did you give me
that big sod story?
171
00:06:56,386 --> 00:06:59,304
Look, it was a good promotional
idea for Outdoor Man.
172
00:06:59,338 --> 00:07:00,806
It's a gift from you and I.
173
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,175
Really? Well, wh-what does
the scoreboard say?
174
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:04,476
Well, the score.
175
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:05,844
And what else?
176
00:07:05,878 --> 00:07:07,846
We sponsored it,
so it says "Outdoor Man."
177
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,598
Yeah, and-- and who is
Outdoor Man?
178
00:07:09,682 --> 00:07:12,734
In a way, aren't we all?
179
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:17,489
You deal with him.
180
00:07:17,523 --> 00:07:20,826
She's mad about
the scoreboard thing, huh?
181
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:23,361
I wasn't eavesdropping.
I was secretly listening.
182
00:07:23,395 --> 00:07:24,863
Usually when I annoy her,
183
00:07:24,897 --> 00:07:26,998
I know that I've done it
and I do it anyway.
184
00:07:27,066 --> 00:07:28,950
But this one
I didn't even see coming.
185
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:31,286
Dad, you and I are a lot alike.
186
00:07:31,337 --> 00:07:33,138
No, we're not.
187
00:07:33,172 --> 00:07:35,907
We're both blessed with
a natural charisma, you know?
188
00:07:35,942 --> 00:07:39,094
You're Outdoor Man.
I'm Mandy Baxter.
189
00:07:39,128 --> 00:07:42,681
Sometimes that makes it
hard on those around us.
190
00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:45,650
What are you talking about?
191
00:07:46,652 --> 00:07:48,470
You tend to steal
the spotlight.
192
00:07:48,521 --> 00:07:49,771
You know, like, do you remember
193
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:51,857
when mom got that big raise,
and then the same day
194
00:07:51,891 --> 00:07:54,476
you landed the cover
of "Colorado Wildlife"?
195
00:07:54,527 --> 00:07:56,478
I didn't plan that.
Sure. Okay.
196
00:07:56,529 --> 00:07:58,613
Or when she ran
the half-marathon.
197
00:07:58,648 --> 00:08:00,699
Oh, and the guy drops
from heat exhaustion?
198
00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:02,284
- I gave him CPR.
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:08:02,368 --> 00:08:03,819
But when she crossed
the finish line,
200
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:05,603
everybody was back there
staring at you.
201
00:08:05,621 --> 00:08:07,372
And same thing
with the other day.
202
00:08:07,406 --> 00:08:08,790
Mom learned about
her boring award,
203
00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:11,126
and you met Peyton Manning.
204
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,328
You steal the spotlight.
That's why she's mad.
205
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:16,965
I don't steal the spotlight.
It just... finds me.
206
00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:20,669
But sometimes
207
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,139
you know, you and I-- We've got to
dial down our natural charm
208
00:08:24,173 --> 00:08:28,727
so we fit in with
the rest of... the others.
209
00:08:28,761 --> 00:08:30,979
You know, I'm
sure buried underneath...
210
00:08:31,013 --> 00:08:34,466
All that is some
good advice, but...
211
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,801
Remember, dad,
sometimes even the sun
212
00:08:36,819 --> 00:08:39,054
has to duck behind a cloud.
213
00:08:41,941 --> 00:08:43,492
Why are you crying?
214
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:47,012
It's just sometimes I say
the most beautiful things.
215
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,975
- Hey, kid.
- Oh, Mr. Alzate?
216
00:08:58,009 --> 00:08:59,643
- Yeah?
- Can I talk to you for a second?
217
00:08:59,677 --> 00:09:02,846
Kyle, you don't need to ask
permission to talk to me.
218
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:05,315
But since you asked,
permission denied.
219
00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:06,984
- Uh, wait a second.
- Huh?
220
00:09:07,018 --> 00:09:08,569
I thought
you might like to know
221
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,654
that a shipment arrived
this morning from Shanghai.
222
00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:13,073
- The action figures!
- I put them in your office.
223
00:09:13,124 --> 00:09:15,542
Right on schedule.
All right!
224
00:09:15,577 --> 00:09:17,377
So Mr. B finally
gave you the go-ahead?
225
00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:19,379
Uh, not exactly.
I'd already ordered them,
226
00:09:19,414 --> 00:09:21,164
but I'm sure
he's gonna love 'em.
227
00:09:21,215 --> 00:09:23,216
Uh...
228
00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:29,640
Uh, s-something's not right.
229
00:09:29,674 --> 00:09:31,541
I expected more action
in these figures,
230
00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,478
and less... bobble.
231
00:09:34,512 --> 00:09:37,514
Well, I specifically said
"Jiaosewawa,"
232
00:09:37,548 --> 00:09:39,399
not "Yaotouwawa."
233
00:09:40,551 --> 00:09:42,185
- It gets worse.
- Yeah?
234
00:09:42,219 --> 00:09:43,904
Turn it around.
235
00:09:47,158 --> 00:09:49,076
"Backdoor Man."
236
00:09:54,482 --> 00:09:56,533
That could be either
good or bad.
237
00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:57,901
You know...
238
00:09:57,919 --> 00:10:01,204
I'm quite sure
he'll think it's bad.
239
00:10:01,238 --> 00:10:02,706
Right, Mr. B?
240
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,426
Don't let him see this.
All right?
241
00:10:06,461 --> 00:10:08,462
Thank God I only ordered five.
242
00:10:08,513 --> 00:10:10,931
You ordered 5,000.
243
00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:14,434
Okay, well, I have to brush up
on my mandarin, I guess.
244
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,010
- Dad, you look really nice.
- Thank you.
245
00:10:23,044 --> 00:10:25,362
Although that tie
is a little subdued for you.
246
00:10:25,396 --> 00:10:28,565
Yeah. Honey, why didn't you wear
the tie I put out for you?
247
00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:29,933
Honey, this is your night.
I want you to shine.
248
00:10:29,951 --> 00:10:33,870
I'll change, but it just
makes my eyes sparkle.
249
00:10:33,905 --> 00:10:35,489
No, no.
250
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:39,126
Dad, no. That tie's perfect.
It does nothing for you.
251
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,912
Mandy, honey,
thanks for offering
252
00:10:41,946 --> 00:10:44,297
to drive Eve to the high school
orientation mixer.
253
00:10:44,332 --> 00:10:48,418
Oh, yeah, sure. No problem.
And, uh, I did her makeup, too.
254
00:10:48,452 --> 00:10:51,388
Ta-da!
255
00:10:53,091 --> 00:10:56,560
Hey, guys. What do--
What do you think?
256
00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:59,646
I'm... kinda conflicted.
257
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,519
You look beautiful...
258
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,637
and you're grounded.
259
00:11:11,526 --> 00:11:14,327
Is my little girl
somewhere under there?
260
00:11:14,362 --> 00:11:15,996
Come on. Be supportive.
261
00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:18,865
This is a big step for
our little Peppermint Patty.
262
00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:23,170
Mom, can I talk to you
real fast?
263
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,838
Yeah. Yeah.
264
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,595
What, uh...
What is it, honey?
265
00:11:31,629 --> 00:11:33,430
- Do I have to go?
- Oh...
266
00:11:33,464 --> 00:11:35,331
I don't fit in.
I don't have big boobs.
267
00:11:35,349 --> 00:11:37,050
I don't have a nose ring.
268
00:11:37,085 --> 00:11:39,352
I don't have a whale tail.
269
00:11:41,272 --> 00:11:43,673
What's a--
What's a whale tail?
270
00:11:43,691 --> 00:11:45,008
You know,
when your jeans ride down,
271
00:11:45,026 --> 00:11:47,227
- and your thong rides up.
- Okay-- All right, all right.
272
00:11:48,613 --> 00:11:52,015
You will never have
one of those.
273
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:53,734
Honey, listen, just...
274
00:11:53,785 --> 00:11:55,535
High school is a little scary.
275
00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:57,821
Most new things are.
276
00:11:57,855 --> 00:11:59,322
But I like where I am.
277
00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:00,741
I just got junior high
all figured out.
278
00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:02,292
I know, but then that just
means you're ready
279
00:12:02,326 --> 00:12:03,960
to take the next step.
280
00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:05,662
Sweetie, sweetie, listen to me.
281
00:12:05,696 --> 00:12:08,198
There comes a point where
you need to say good-bye
282
00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:10,033
to one part of your life
283
00:12:10,051 --> 00:12:12,169
and say hello to something new.
284
00:12:12,203 --> 00:12:15,388
Like "R"-rated movies?
285
00:12:15,423 --> 00:12:17,707
Absolutely not.
286
00:12:20,762 --> 00:12:24,047
Those are just full of
curse words and violence.
287
00:12:24,065 --> 00:12:25,899
I just helped dad
change a tire last week.
288
00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:29,536
I'm pretty familiar
with curse words and violence.
289
00:12:32,573 --> 00:12:34,057
Oh.
290
00:12:34,075 --> 00:12:39,162
Wow, they did a pretty nice job
sprucing up this dump.
291
00:12:40,731 --> 00:12:44,734
What do you mean, "they"?
I was here at 6:00 AM.
292
00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:46,169
What is this?
293
00:12:46,204 --> 00:12:48,338
I give a Peyton Manning
signed NFL football,
294
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:50,257
and the best this couple
could come up with
295
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:55,578
was a-a semi-used DVD collection
of "Designing Women"?
296
00:12:55,596 --> 00:12:57,914
This is an auction.
It's not a landfill.
297
00:12:57,932 --> 00:13:00,684
All right, stop it.
I'm gonna start the bidding.
298
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:02,602
Might as well just
put it in your purse.
299
00:13:02,637 --> 00:13:04,888
No one's gonna bid on this...
300
00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:06,056
Unless it's me.
301
00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:07,607
Well, what are you doing?
I just bid--
302
00:13:07,642 --> 00:13:09,425
Just outbid you
so it'll stay here.
303
00:13:12,396 --> 00:13:15,448
Here's some ni--
Oh, look at this!
304
00:13:15,483 --> 00:13:18,101
It's a whole collection.
"Scarface."
305
00:13:18,119 --> 00:13:20,153
Fake money,
a little machine gun, cigars--
306
00:13:20,204 --> 00:13:22,205
- This is worth something.
- All right, you know what?
307
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:26,376
The only thing I like about
this basket is the basket.
308
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,879
There's the principal.
I'm gonna go kiss his ring.
309
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:30,780
There you go.
310
00:13:30,798 --> 00:13:35,335
Yeah.
311
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,505
This is just--
312
00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:11,538
Say hello
313
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,540
to my little friend!
314
00:14:22,216 --> 00:14:24,684
All right, honey,
I think everything's set.
315
00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:26,052
Gosh, great turnout.
316
00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,688
- Vanessa!
- Mm. Yeah? Excuse me.
317
00:14:28,723 --> 00:14:31,274
- There's a problem with the salmon
hors d'oeuvres. - Oh. What is it?
318
00:14:31,309 --> 00:14:33,109
Everyone's eating them...
And then throwing up.
319
00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:35,345
Including Phil.
320
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,564
Oh, no! No! Phil's our emcee.
321
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:40,533
Well, not unless we're moving
this party to the bathroom.
322
00:14:40,568 --> 00:14:43,320
Stan, put the salmon down!
323
00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:44,454
Oh, no, honey.
324
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:46,406
Looks like I'm gonna
have to emcee.
325
00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:47,908
You can't emcee this function.
326
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:49,242
Why? Why not? I'm funny.
327
00:14:49,327 --> 00:14:52,362
- Yeah, you're hilarious, but, uh...
- Yeah.
328
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:54,080
- Let's just say you win the award.
- Mm-hmm.
329
00:14:54,131 --> 00:14:55,198
You gonna give it to yourself?
330
00:14:55,216 --> 00:14:57,217
Oh. You're right.
331
00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:59,369
- You should do it.
- No.
332
00:14:59,387 --> 00:15:01,037
No, no, no, no, no.
It'll be just as bad.
333
00:15:01,055 --> 00:15:02,705
I open the envelope,
say your name,
334
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:03,974
they're not gonna believe me.
335
00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,675
Honey, wait. First of all,
there's no envelope.
336
00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:07,727
It's not an awards show, okay?
337
00:15:07,762 --> 00:15:09,545
The-- the principal just whispers
in your ear. That's it.
338
00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:11,398
Honey, please.
Please, please, please.
339
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,400
I just-- I need this
to be a success.
340
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,018
All right. Let's be
very clear about this.
341
00:15:15,052 --> 00:15:17,720
You are asking me
to step into the spotlight
342
00:15:17,738 --> 00:15:20,607
- and do my best?
- Yes, that is-- That is the idea.
343
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:21,741
- Yeah.
- Okay.
344
00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,076
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
345
00:15:23,110 --> 00:15:25,028
- Good luck.
- All right. Good.
346
00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:28,064
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
347
00:15:38,102 --> 00:15:39,185
So the bear comes over to me--
348
00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:40,637
We were camping, right?
And he says,
349
00:15:40,671 --> 00:15:42,372
"I heard what you said.
Of course we do it in the woods.
350
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,442
We don't have outhouses!"
351
00:15:45,476 --> 00:15:47,544
Nah. No, I got a million
of these.
352
00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:51,781
Let's talk about our gym coach--
Steve Stifleman, huh?
353
00:15:51,815 --> 00:15:53,833
Great guy, great family man.
354
00:15:53,868 --> 00:15:55,585
What Steve doesn't know--
355
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,987
If we don't get 30 grand
tonight,
356
00:15:58,005 --> 00:15:59,673
his position is gone.
357
00:15:59,707 --> 00:16:03,877
Going, going, gone--
There we go! Come on!
358
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:09,516
Always the little lady
giving away the money, isn't it?
359
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:12,852
Look at her. We got $1,500.
$1,500 for this lovely quilt.
360
00:16:12,887 --> 00:16:14,437
Do I have $1,600?
$1,600...
361
00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:15,722
You know, we're on pace to make
362
00:16:15,773 --> 00:16:17,107
twice as much money
as last year.
363
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:19,025
Yeah, I know.
It's going great.
364
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,194
I'm looking at you, Scott.
365
00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:23,697
Come on, Scott.
Eye contact.
366
00:16:23,731 --> 00:16:25,231
I don't think Jessica knows
how much money
367
00:16:25,282 --> 00:16:28,518
you've been making on those
Monday night poker games.
368
00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:33,957
Boy, kinda chilly
over here, isn't it?
369
00:16:33,991 --> 00:16:36,743
Hey, hey, come on.
2,500 bucks.
370
00:16:36,794 --> 00:16:38,528
It's for the quilt.
You're gonna need it,
371
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:41,965
'cause you'll be sleeping
on the couch now, Scooter!
372
00:16:41,999 --> 00:16:44,300
Vanessa, congratulations.
I just heard!
373
00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:45,969
I know! We're really
raking this in.
374
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,554
- Going once...
- No!
375
00:16:47,588 --> 00:16:49,872
I'm talking about getting
the volunteer parent award.
376
00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:52,642
- Going twice...
- Whoo!
377
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:56,146
$2,500 to...
My wife over there.
378
00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:03,820
Hey!
379
00:17:03,854 --> 00:17:05,855
You won!
380
00:17:05,889 --> 00:17:07,607
Oh!
381
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,228
And they gave you a quilt.
382
00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:14,230
Yeah. $2,500 later,
383
00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:18,284
a quilt with not a child
I recognize.
384
00:17:18,335 --> 00:17:20,920
It was very nice.
They gave me a standing ovation.
385
00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:22,338
- Really?
- Yeah.
386
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,624
Oh, I actually thought I got
a standing ovation once at work,
387
00:17:24,675 --> 00:17:26,176
but it turned out
that it was a rat
388
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,077
running across the restaurant!
389
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,131
- Hey!
- Hey!
390
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:33,416
Guess who was one of the last
people to leave the dance!
391
00:17:33,434 --> 00:17:35,018
Our little social butterfly.
392
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:36,586
- That's great!
- ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪
393
00:17:36,604 --> 00:17:38,087
What's so great about it?
394
00:17:38,105 --> 00:17:41,424
This is not great.
Why did we beat them home?
395
00:17:41,442 --> 00:17:43,226
Well, mom, you were right.
396
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,111
It was time for me to put away
part of my life
397
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:47,614
and start something new.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so wired.
398
00:17:47,648 --> 00:17:49,365
I don't even know how
I'm gonna get to sleep.
399
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:53,153
Hey, I got an idea.
Curl up with this quilt...
400
00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:56,456
- And "Scarface."
- Mike!
401
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:59,442
An "R"-rated movie? Yes!
Thanks, dad!
402
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:02,779
Turn the sound down
and shut your eyes!
403
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:04,947
She'll be all right.
She's a big girl now.
404
00:18:04,965 --> 00:18:07,083
Yeah, she is.
She's a big girl.
405
00:18:08,252 --> 00:18:10,553
I guess I should take
some of my own advice.
406
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:13,223
Yeah. Wow, that was
a great night, huh?
407
00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:14,808
Record amount raised.
408
00:18:14,842 --> 00:18:17,227
You got the volunteer award.
409
00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:18,978
You took it to Gina
and her husband
410
00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:21,297
with that long speech.
I loved that.
411
00:18:21,315 --> 00:18:22,849
It's funny
how you did that--
412
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,318
What's the matter, honey?
I'm sorry.
413
00:18:25,352 --> 00:18:26,803
Look, you told me
to get on the stage
414
00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:28,271
and do that spotlight thing.
415
00:18:28,305 --> 00:18:29,906
I said-- The spotlight--
I just--
416
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,691
- Oh, honey...
- I'm like a prisoner against the wall.
417
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:34,244
The spotlight finds me.
418
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:36,763
What the hell are you
talking about?
419
00:18:36,797 --> 00:18:39,415
Are you mad because I took--
I took the spotlight?
420
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,984
No, no. It's just...
421
00:18:42,002 --> 00:18:45,338
Our last child
is going to high school.
422
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,210
I'm just sad. I...
423
00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:52,796
- Yeah.
- Sad.
424
00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:55,849
Is there anything I can do?
425
00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:58,518
No.
No, nothing. Nothing.
426
00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:00,386
You can't stop the girls
from growing up.
427
00:19:00,437 --> 00:19:01,521
Yeah.
428
00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:02,856
You know, I just--
429
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,024
I guess I need to
work through this myself.
430
00:19:05,059 --> 00:19:07,009
I need a little time.
431
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:08,812
- Just be sad for a little while.
- I get it.
432
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:10,647
- Yeah.
- Okay.
433
00:19:10,681 --> 00:19:12,198
Look. Where you going?
434
00:19:15,236 --> 00:19:18,037
You just said you wanted
to work this out.
435
00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:20,540
Not now!
436
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:23,993
Oh, yeah.
437
00:19:27,381 --> 00:19:31,067
Ohh, boy.
438
00:19:35,589 --> 00:19:38,040
Yeah.
439
00:19:55,526 --> 00:19:57,994
Whoo!
440
00:20:02,616 --> 00:20:05,752
Oh...
441
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:14,308
- All right.
- Mike, I don't know about this.
442
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,593
- Come on. Come on.
- I feel ridiculous.
443
00:20:15,627 --> 00:20:16,894
It's your chance to be
in the spotlight.
444
00:20:16,929 --> 00:20:18,262
No, I'm not really
a spotlight person.
445
00:20:18,296 --> 00:20:19,664
- That's you. I don't--
- Okay, we'll just--
446
00:20:19,698 --> 00:20:20,815
We'll cancel everything.
We won't--
447
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:21,966
No, no, no, no, no!
I'm gonna do it.
448
00:20:21,984 --> 00:20:22,917
Roll it. Roll it. Roll it.
449
00:20:22,951 --> 00:20:25,135
First off, you don't
"roll" this.
450
00:20:25,153 --> 00:20:27,021
And don't look there.
Look in the camera.
451
00:20:27,072 --> 00:20:28,639
- Talk to the camera.
- All right. All right, I got it.
452
00:20:28,657 --> 00:20:30,074
When you're ready to go,
just press the space bar.
453
00:20:30,108 --> 00:20:31,609
Okay. All right. Go.
454
00:20:33,445 --> 00:20:37,281
Hi. I'm Vanessa Baxter
for Outdoor Man.
455
00:20:37,315 --> 00:20:38,899
Men, take a five.
456
00:20:38,934 --> 00:20:41,669
Ladies, you know how
when your husband
457
00:20:41,703 --> 00:20:43,004
goes on those hunting trips,
458
00:20:43,038 --> 00:20:45,690
and they think they're
getting away with something?
459
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:50,011
But the truth is,
we couldn't be happier.
460
00:20:50,045 --> 00:20:51,128
Really?
461
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:54,515
Husbands are gone,
there's no snoring,
462
00:20:54,549 --> 00:20:57,001
no scratching, no gas.
463
00:20:57,019 --> 00:20:59,336
I mean, the whole place
smells 20% better.
464
00:20:59,354 --> 00:21:01,105
Right? See?
465
00:21:02,224 --> 00:21:03,724
So remember this--
466
00:21:03,775 --> 00:21:06,944
Every time you buy your man
a piece of camping equipment,
467
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:10,765
you're really buying yourself
a day of peace and quiet.
468
00:21:10,799 --> 00:21:12,400
- Okay, I think you--
- Wait, I got more--
469
00:21:12,451 --> 00:21:13,985
- No, I think you've-- you've said enough.
- No, no. So, hey.
470
00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:15,620
Come on down to Outdoor Man
471
00:21:15,654 --> 00:21:19,123
and get your husbands
off your back...
472
00:21:19,157 --> 00:21:21,792
And off your front.
473
00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:24,495
Are you crazy?
474
00:21:24,529 --> 00:21:26,363
You know, our minister
watches this.
475
00:21:26,381 --> 00:21:28,082
Oh, please.
He's got eight kids.
476
00:21:28,133 --> 00:21:30,184
He knows
what I'm talking about.
477
00:21:32,848 --> 00:21:35,472
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com