1
00:00:00,444 --> 00:00:02,879
You can't fire me, I quit.
( Thuds )
2
00:00:02,947 --> 00:00:04,714
Think you can replace me
with some other guy?
3
00:00:04,782 --> 00:00:07,283
- Go ahead, it won't be the same.
- ( Thuds )
4
00:00:07,351 --> 00:00:10,086
You may think I'm losing,
but I'm not. I'm...
5
00:00:10,154 --> 00:00:11,922
Anyway, you get the idea.
6
00:00:14,025 --> 00:00:16,160
Now those are just some generic
examples of frustrations
7
00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:18,962
you can take out on Bobo,
our new bopping bag,
8
00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:20,932
to express your anger
in a healthy way.
9
00:00:20,999 --> 00:00:23,067
Okay, our new member should
be showing up any minute,
10
00:00:23,135 --> 00:00:24,569
so while we're waiting,
11
00:00:24,637 --> 00:00:26,037
let's see how we all did
12
00:00:26,105 --> 00:00:27,239
with our assignment
over the weekend.
13
00:00:27,307 --> 00:00:28,675
You were supposed to admit
to a loved one
14
00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:29,743
that you're in anger therapy.
15
00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,279
- Patrick, how'd it go?
- Not well.
16
00:00:32,347 --> 00:00:34,448
I told my dad
that I was coming here
17
00:00:34,516 --> 00:00:36,451
to change my
passive-aggressive behavior
18
00:00:36,519 --> 00:00:37,786
and he said,
"While you're there,
19
00:00:37,854 --> 00:00:39,154
can you work on
not being gay?"
20
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,325
Okay. Did you handle that
in a healthy way
21
00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:44,860
or with
a passive-aggressive act?
22
00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:47,530
I sent everyone in my family
a Fourth of July card
23
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:49,699
with a picture of me dressed
as the Statue of Liberty
24
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:51,667
with a sparkler
sticking out of my ass.
25
00:00:53,403 --> 00:00:54,869
Patrick, that's not
a passive-aggressive act,
26
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:56,771
it's the whole play.
27
00:00:56,838 --> 00:00:59,006
I can print it out and
bring it in if you'd like.
28
00:00:59,074 --> 00:01:01,475
Please do.
While I was in Nam
29
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:04,245
dodging enemy fire and
watching my best friends die,
30
00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:06,514
I kept telling myself,
"Hang in there, Ed,"
31
00:01:06,582 --> 00:01:09,017
because one of these days
this queer is gonna shove
32
00:01:09,085 --> 00:01:12,821
"a sparkler up his ass
and it'll all be worth it."
33
00:01:15,191 --> 00:01:17,793
Okay, Ed, another dollar
in the queer jar.
34
00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:19,528
For God's sake.
35
00:01:19,596 --> 00:01:21,430
Who did you tell
about your anger therapy?
36
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,765
Well, I was gonna tell
one of my best friends,
37
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,767
but he died so this queer...
38
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,736
Ed!
39
00:01:27,804 --> 00:01:30,639
You're gonna give the Gay Men's Choir
a hell of a holiday party, Ed.
40
00:01:32,742 --> 00:01:35,344
- How about you, Nolan?
- Okay, well...
41
00:01:35,411 --> 00:01:37,179
I told this girl
I went out with
44
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,719
so she screamed at me
for like an hour.
45
00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:46,655
Very belittling things.
46
00:01:46,723 --> 00:01:48,557
Very belittling.
47
00:01:51,127 --> 00:01:53,262
Who's the stupid
therapist here?
48
00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:54,729
I guess that would be me.
49
00:01:56,732 --> 00:01:59,167
Your idiot neighbor is
yelling at me for no reason.
50
00:01:59,235 --> 00:02:00,902
I've got a can
of Mace in my purse
51
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:03,338
and I am not afraid to
bash his skull in with it.
52
00:02:03,406 --> 00:02:06,208
Hey, everybody, our
new member is here.
53
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:10,012
Excuse me, miss, you
just drove over my lawn.
54
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,847
I'm gonna have to
reseed the whole thing.
55
00:02:11,915 --> 00:02:14,083
Might want to throw some seeds
up on that bald head of yours.
56
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,318
He's tried everything.
Mike, let's step outside.
57
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,254
This is a choice.
58
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:21,523
What's going on
over here, Charlie?
59
00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:23,358
I'm sorry, Mike.
I'm doing sessions at the house now.
60
00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:24,960
I'll cover you for the lawn.
61
00:02:25,027 --> 00:02:27,362
Get me her phone number
and we'll call it even?
62
00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:28,930
Forget it.
She's here by court order.
63
00:02:28,998 --> 00:02:30,932
I like
a fixer-upper.
64
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,234
This is the house
from "Poltergeist."
65
00:02:33,302 --> 00:02:35,603
I'll see you later.
66
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:38,706
So what's the deal?
I asked for a female therapist.
67
00:02:38,774 --> 00:02:40,741
Really?
Criminal court system
68
00:02:40,809 --> 00:02:42,476
is usually so accommodating.
69
00:02:42,544 --> 00:02:45,312
Next time, go through
their concierge.
70
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,914
Everybody, this is Lacey.
71
00:02:46,981 --> 00:02:49,950
Lacey, this is Ed, Patrick,
Nolan, and Bobo.
72
00:02:50,018 --> 00:02:51,685
Now, Bobo is here in
case you feel the need
73
00:02:51,753 --> 00:02:53,587
to physicalize your anger, you
can punch him in the face.
74
00:02:53,655 --> 00:02:55,222
All right, I'll give it a shot.
75
00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:57,925
No, no, no, no!
No. No.
76
00:02:57,993 --> 00:02:59,360
That's not Bobo.
That's Ed.
77
00:02:59,428 --> 00:03:00,861
Look, I don't even belong here.
78
00:03:00,929 --> 00:03:02,296
The court just
wants you to sign
79
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,732
this piece of paper
that says I showed up.
80
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,668
You sign it now, I can bounce
81
00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:08,336
and you can check out
my ass when I leave.
82
00:03:08,404 --> 00:03:10,638
I've already
checked out your ass.
83
00:03:10,706 --> 00:03:13,041
It's one of the best
ones in the group.
84
00:03:13,108 --> 00:03:15,811
It'll look even better if you put
it in that chair so we can start.
85
00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:20,415
I would like to talk
about something.
86
00:03:20,482 --> 00:03:22,817
- I said it was one of the best.
- Okay, thank you.
87
00:03:26,922 --> 00:03:28,790
So, Lacey, why don't you
tell us a little bit
88
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:30,792
- about why you're here?
- I have no idea.
89
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,794
I'm not angry.
My boyfriend cheated on me,
90
00:03:32,861 --> 00:03:34,162
so I shot him in the balls.
91
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:37,799
Bet he's angry.
92
00:03:38,773 --> 00:03:42,658
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.addic7ed.com.
93
00:03:45,248 --> 00:03:48,017
Before I went back to school
and became a therapist,
94
00:03:48,085 --> 00:03:50,320
I was an angry,
out-of-control ballplayer.
95
00:03:50,388 --> 00:03:51,755
You need to watch this.
96
00:03:51,823 --> 00:03:53,557
( Crowd cheering )
97
00:03:53,625 --> 00:03:54,792
That's me behind the plate.
98
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,026
After nine years in the minors,
99
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:57,461
I finally got called
up to the show.
100
00:04:00,149 --> 00:04:01,916
Simple pop-up.
What can go wrong?
101
00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:06,255
- ( Ump yells )
- ( Crowd boos )
102
00:04:06,323 --> 00:04:07,723
Ed:
Look how mad he is.
103
00:04:07,791 --> 00:04:10,293
You look like a bull
getting a prostate exam.
104
00:04:12,329 --> 00:04:15,031
Ed: Wait, wait, here it comes.
Here it comes.
105
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:17,400
- ( laughing )
- ( Crowd moans )
106
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:20,169
He broke his own knee
and ruined his career.
107
00:04:21,872 --> 00:04:23,806
That's still funny as hell.
108
00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:26,976
You know, Ed, you
make jokes like that
109
00:04:27,044 --> 00:04:28,678
because you're insecure,
so you denigrate others
110
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,046
to feel better about yourself.
111
00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:31,981
I know.
112
00:04:34,751 --> 00:04:36,753
The point is, anger took away
113
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,921
something that I really loved.
114
00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:40,757
And I'm here to try to keep
that from happening to you.
115
00:04:42,426 --> 00:04:44,328
Hey, can I watch that again?
116
00:04:44,395 --> 00:04:46,596
I want to see
if I still don't care.
117
00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:51,301
Oh, sorry, Dad.
Forgot it was Thursday.
118
00:04:51,369 --> 00:04:52,836
No, Sam, it's okay.
Come on in.
119
00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:54,337
Everybody, my daughter Sam.
120
00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:56,006
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.
121
00:04:56,073 --> 00:04:58,141
I'll just be a second
and I'll be out of your way.
122
00:05:00,844 --> 00:05:02,712
( Lock clicking )
123
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:05,581
- Tough day?
- No, everything's fine.
124
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:11,020
I know I'm new,
but this is weird, right?
125
00:05:11,088 --> 00:05:12,989
She's got OCD.
126
00:05:13,057 --> 00:05:15,992
And you smell good.
127
00:05:16,059 --> 00:05:18,494
Okay, you're in my
bubble, ass-clown.
128
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,530
Cool.
129
00:05:21,598 --> 00:05:23,332
We're doing nicknames.
130
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:27,435
It's all good.
Bye.
131
00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:33,608
Hey, let's take a short break.
132
00:05:33,676 --> 00:05:35,043
She only does that
when she's stressed.
133
00:05:35,111 --> 00:05:36,511
Nolan, stay away from Lacey.
134
00:05:36,579 --> 00:05:37,679
Lacey, stay away
from everybody.
135
00:05:37,747 --> 00:05:38,780
Patrick, stay away from Ed.
136
00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,447
Ed... well, you all
know the drill.
137
00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:44,318
( Knocking on door )
138
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,721
Come in.
139
00:05:46,789 --> 00:05:48,689
Hey, Sam.
Something bothering you?
140
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:51,492
- No.
- Are you sure?
141
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,594
I feel like there's
an elephant in the room.
142
00:05:53,662 --> 00:05:56,530
I mean, there could be
under all those clothes.
143
00:05:56,598 --> 00:05:58,366
Why am I doing all
this stupid homework
144
00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,134
if I'm not even sure
I'm going to college?
145
00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:03,071
What? Of course
you're going to college.
146
00:06:03,138 --> 00:06:06,340
Someday I hope you and
the pile will both go.
147
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,376
And why are you
worried about this now?
148
00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:11,479
Well, because college
is no guarantee of a job.
149
00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:13,581
It's a useless waste of time.
150
00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:16,083
- Where'd you hear that?
- Mom's new boyfriend Sean.
151
00:06:16,151 --> 00:06:18,886
He makes a lot of money as a club
promoter and he didn't go to college.
152
00:06:18,954 --> 00:06:21,189
And he drives
a much nicer car than you.
153
00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:23,759
Any idiot can buy a car
and make payments,
154
00:06:23,826 --> 00:06:26,328
but college gave me a
career that fulfills me.
155
00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:29,097
- It's a Ferrari.
- Sure, a Ferrari. A Ferrari?
156
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,034
Look, I've got to get
back to my group.
157
00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,635
But just keep in mind
that, sure,
158
00:06:34,703 --> 00:06:36,804
Sean's club may be hot now,
but in a couple of months,
159
00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:39,540
that club will be gone
and so will the Ferrari.
160
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:42,377
But those people downstairs,
they will still be crazy.
161
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:51,152
I can't do that again.
162
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:53,020
You want to do it again?
163
00:06:53,088 --> 00:06:55,089
Yeah.
164
00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:59,293
Can't.
We ran out.
165
00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:01,495
Oh, damn.
166
00:07:01,562 --> 00:07:03,430
You got any Saran Wrap?
167
00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:08,034
A Milky Way wrapper.
168
00:07:08,102 --> 00:07:11,104
Still a little caramel
in it, though.
169
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:14,874
You know, there's other
stuff we can do.
170
00:07:14,942 --> 00:07:16,476
What do you got in the fridge?
171
00:07:18,079 --> 00:07:20,881
You're awesome.
172
00:07:20,948 --> 00:07:23,416
You're the best kind
of friend there is.
173
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,286
No attachments whatsoever.
174
00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:28,188
I promise...
175
00:07:29,891 --> 00:07:32,659
I will never love you.
176
00:07:32,727 --> 00:07:34,327
Keep talking.
177
00:07:34,395 --> 00:07:37,063
I will never love you
178
00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:39,099
forever.
179
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,568
( Phone chiming )
180
00:07:41,636 --> 00:07:44,871
Aw, crap. I've got
to go pick up Sam.
181
00:07:44,939 --> 00:07:46,773
How long was I wearing
that blindfold?
182
00:07:48,276 --> 00:07:50,710
Come on, can't you be
15 minutes late?
183
00:07:50,778 --> 00:07:52,812
I've got to go talk
to Jen first.
184
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,248
Her latest genius boyfriend
185
00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:57,017
is putting stupid ideas
in Sam's head.
186
00:07:57,085 --> 00:08:00,488
- What did he say?
- He told her that college is a waste of time.
187
00:08:00,556 --> 00:08:03,658
Well, half of what we just
did I learned in college.
188
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,295
I'd like to think
I taught you the other half.
189
00:08:09,798 --> 00:08:11,199
( Doorbell rings )
190
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:13,101
Coming, Charlie.
191
00:08:14,904 --> 00:08:16,638
- Hi.
- How do you always know it's me?
192
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,940
You're the only guy
who doesn't have a key.
193
00:08:20,008 --> 00:08:23,611
Which is ironic because I'm the
guy who paid for this place.
194
00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:26,147
Listen, before Sam comes down, can
we talk about Sean for a second?
195
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,448
Man: What's there to talk about?
196
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:31,485
Dude's smart, funny, classy,
and I like him a lot.
197
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:35,256
Charlie, this is Sean.
Sean, this is Sam's dad Charlie.
198
00:08:35,324 --> 00:08:37,158
Awkward moment.
Let's do it.
199
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,160
- Good to meet you.
- You, too.
200
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,395
- Sorry, I didn't see you sitting there.
- It's all right.
201
00:08:41,463 --> 00:08:43,030
Listen, I was just gonna
ask Jen to tell you that
202
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:44,765
Sam is a really
impressionable kid,
203
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:46,400
so if you could be
a little bit careful
204
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:47,968
about what you say around
her, that would be great.
205
00:08:48,036 --> 00:08:50,203
She seems pretty sharp to me.
What shouldn't I say to her?
206
00:08:50,271 --> 00:08:52,472
I'm sure it was out of context,
207
00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:55,408
but she told me you said
college was a waste of time.
208
00:08:55,476 --> 00:08:57,377
Did you say that?
209
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,513
54% of this year's college
grads couldn't find work,
210
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,983
85% of them moved home,
so, yeah, I did.
211
00:09:03,051 --> 00:09:05,186
Well, you know what?
100% of Sam's mom
212
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,788
doesn't want to have
this conversation right now.
213
00:09:07,856 --> 00:09:10,057
All I'm saying is unemployment,
214
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,993
it's not just for
psych majors any more.
215
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,462
I was a psych major,
but you'd know
216
00:09:14,529 --> 00:09:17,765
that most therapists are
had you gone to college.
217
00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:20,701
I'm learning now.
Didn't cost me a dime.
218
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,737
Okay, well, I didn't
go to college,
219
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:24,639
but I did go to a lot
of frat parties.
220
00:09:24,706 --> 00:09:27,008
And what I learned is when
the guys start fighting,
221
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:30,578
it's time to pick up
your clothes and go. Sam!
222
00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:32,914
It's really simple, Sean.
We want Sam to go to college.
223
00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:36,451
It would have been a really
good choice in 1962.
224
00:09:36,519 --> 00:09:39,254
Look, it's tough for everybody right
now, but it's gonna turn around.
225
00:09:39,322 --> 00:09:41,257
Why am I going
into this with you?
226
00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:43,526
Bottom line: don't say crap
like that around my kid, okay?
227
00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:44,893
Discussion over.
Good to meet you.
228
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:46,428
You know why
it's good to meet me?
229
00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:48,064
Because I'm smart
and I'm right.
230
00:09:48,131 --> 00:09:50,733
Okay? My dad steered
me away from college
231
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,569
and made me get
realistic about life.
232
00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:54,070
You're a club promoter, dude.
233
00:09:54,138 --> 00:09:56,306
You're realistic
about glow-sticks and E.
234
00:09:56,374 --> 00:09:58,441
- Charlie.
- Jennifer, I've got this.
235
00:09:58,509 --> 00:10:00,777
- Sam!
- Not your kid, not your call.
236
00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,278
She's definitely your kid.
237
00:10:02,346 --> 00:10:03,780
What the hell's
that supposed to mean?
238
00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:05,582
All the emotional
problems are there.
239
00:10:05,649 --> 00:10:08,551
- Are you kidding me?
- Ready to go, Dad.
240
00:10:10,988 --> 00:10:14,057
I'll have this rewired and get it
right back to you. Let's go, Sam.
241
00:10:20,883 --> 00:10:23,852
- Here you go, Charlie.
- Thanks.
242
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,321
- You go to college, Brett?
- Yeah, I did.
243
00:10:26,389 --> 00:10:28,423
I was working my way
through as a stripper.
244
00:10:28,491 --> 00:10:32,261
And then I started to make so much
money I dropped out of school.
245
00:10:32,329 --> 00:10:34,796
Do you know what?
I should have gotten my degree.
246
00:10:34,864 --> 00:10:37,833
I was not planning on my 40s.
247
00:10:39,469 --> 00:10:42,104
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
248
00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:46,342
Uh-oh, here comes your ex,
and she doesn't look happy.
249
00:10:48,912 --> 00:10:50,546
- Hey, Jen.
- Hey.
250
00:10:50,614 --> 00:10:52,515
You look great.
I'm gonna just hit the bathroom.
251
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:53,950
No way.
I know where the exits are.
252
00:10:55,252 --> 00:10:56,986
What the hell was that today?
253
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:59,889
What? I was just defending
my kid like any dad would.
254
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:03,359
But you're not any dad.
You've got anger problems.
255
00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:06,128
And I had to defend you
like when you played ball.
256
00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:07,930
Charlie's under
a lot of stress.
257
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:10,867
Charlie had a bad day.
Charlie's on steroids.
258
00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:15,404
- I never took steroids.
- I know. If you had, I'd be living in a bigger house.
259
00:11:15,472 --> 00:11:16,906
You're screwing up
my relationship
260
00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:18,541
and I want you
to go talk to him.
261
00:11:18,608 --> 00:11:20,810
Not gonna happen.
And relationship?
262
00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:22,480
You've only dated the guy
for a couple of months.
263
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,550
Yes, but he told me
85% of all relationships
264
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,819
that last past two months
go on to marriage
265
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:31,923
and 54% last
an entire lifetime.
266
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:35,059
Those are the same percentages
as the college thing.
267
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:38,029
This guy's only got
two numbers.
268
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,664
Why would you date
a guy like that?
269
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,966
I like him. You know,
he's good with Sam,
270
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,836
he's got a great sense of humor,
and he's got two Ferraris.
271
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,771
Yeah, I know.
Two Ferraris?
272
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:50,041
One for here,
one for the beach house.
273
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:53,278
Oh, yeah?
274
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,447
Well, I'd have all that
if I'd wanted,
275
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,882
but I chose to spend
my money on college.
276
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:59,651
And I can go to the
beach if I want to.
277
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,753
I just can't
stay there overnight.
278
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:08,626
Look, I do this for free
because I'm trying to help you.
279
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,195
But I can't help you
if you won't admit
280
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,763
that you have issues
with your anger.
281
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,265
I'm sorry.
I don't consider what I did anger.
282
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,468
Okay, then what
should we call it
283
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,971
when you slit that guy's
throat while he was sleeping?
284
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,940
I call it frustration.
285
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,076
I was very frustrated
that he was alive.
286
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,278
No, no, Ernesto.
287
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:29,781
Frustration is when you accidentally
cut your finger on a soup can lid.
288
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,351
When you use a soup can lid to
cut off your cellmate's head,
289
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,119
that's anger.
290
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:38,056
Fine, I was angry
that he took my soup.
291
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,593
Look, we all feel frustration.
292
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,295
I'm gonna be honest with you about
something that happened to me.
293
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:45,597
I almost lost it yesterday.
294
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,198
Oh, honey, I remember
when I lost it.
295
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,800
It was a world of pain.
296
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,972
Okay, I'm pretty sure we're talking
about two different things.
297
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,307
What I mean is, I almost
gave into a black rage.
298
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,343
No, we're talking
about the same thing.
299
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,915
Give in, baby.
Give in.
300
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,384
No, no, what happened was
301
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,587
for the first time in years,
my frustration with someone
302
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,925
turned to anger
and I almost lost control.
303
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,259
What did the guy do?
304
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,128
He was talking about my kid.
305
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,263
He crossed the line and I almost
hit him in the head with a lamp.
306
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,965
You were gonna bash in
some guy's head with a lamp
307
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,466
just because he said something?
308
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,169
You're crazy, Charlie.
I no longer respect you.
309
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,906
I'm screwing with you, ese.
310
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,808
- I respect you more.
- ( Laughing )
311
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,512
Yeah, that guy
had it coming, man.
312
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:37,816
You'd have been totally justified
beating his face into plowshares.
313
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,451
I think that's in the Bible.
314
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
No, no, no, no.
315
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:44,923
Anyone who would do that
has got a real problem.
316
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,458
There's no justification
for hurting someone
317
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,360
just because
they disagree with you.
318
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,396
Anyone who would do that
has impulse control issues
319
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,264
and needs to get
into therapy immediately.
320
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,835
I won't be here tomorrow.
321
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,308
And, Wayne, I'm gonna
bring you a real Bible,
322
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,809
one that you didn't
write yourself.
323
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,583
I don't understand why I can't
sleep with one of your patients.
324
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,551
It's one thing
if you met her in a bar.
325
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,386
It's another thing if you
stalk her in my house.
326
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,155
I'll wait till
she walks to her car.
327
00:14:20,325 --> 00:14:22,660
Stop. I've got enough
problems of my own.
328
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,630
I've got to go back
into therapy.
329
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:28,632
If I don't, I'm gonna lose it.
330
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:32,536
Why do you need a therapist?
You are a therapist.
331
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:35,939
You ever see a tow truck
hauling a tow truck?
332
00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:42,279
- So go.
- But there's only one tow truck I trust.
333
00:14:42,347 --> 00:14:45,949
And, unfortunately,
I'm having sex with it.
334
00:14:47,652 --> 00:14:50,920
Well, then, ask Kate.
She's a therapist.
335
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:53,190
I'm sure she probably
knows somebody.
336
00:14:53,257 --> 00:14:56,526
Oh, my God.
You're sleeping with Kate!
337
00:14:56,594 --> 00:14:59,696
Yeah. And she's
the best therapist I know.
338
00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:01,564
Problem is she's also
my best friend.
339
00:15:01,632 --> 00:15:03,300
And the sex is, I don't know...
340
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:06,035
- The best?
- Yes.
341
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:08,738
- Why can't you have it all?
- I wish.
342
00:15:08,806 --> 00:15:11,474
It's unethical for a therapist
to have sex with a patient.
343
00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:14,244
They teach you that on day one.
It weeds out half the class.
344
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,982
Look, Charlie, to me
there's only one answer.
345
00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:21,217
You have got to go
to her for therapy.
346
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:24,020
Your mental health is way
more important than the sex.
347
00:15:24,088 --> 00:15:27,357
Of course, without the sex,
she'll probably be lonely.
348
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:29,459
Please get out of my house.
349
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,104
I don't know
what you're here for,
350
00:15:36,492 --> 00:15:40,722
but if it's what I think it
is, we only have 15 minutes.
351
00:15:40,842 --> 00:15:43,477
Before we start, I have to tell
you about this study I read.
352
00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:46,313
Oh, that sounds so boring.
353
00:15:46,381 --> 00:15:49,517
No, no, no. No, this is good.
This is really good.
354
00:15:49,584 --> 00:15:51,685
You know how having sex with a patient
is the biggest breach of trust
355
00:15:51,753 --> 00:15:54,221
- any therapist could commit?
- Yeah.
356
00:15:54,289 --> 00:15:56,790
There is a new study that says
under the right conditions
357
00:15:56,858 --> 00:15:58,292
that a therapist and a patient
358
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,094
can have both
a therapeutic relationship
359
00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:03,730
and a sexual relationship and
keep both completely separate.
360
00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:05,732
Sounds like it was
written by a therapist
361
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,668
who was trying to get
in somebody's pants.
362
00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:13,241
You're probably right.
363
00:16:13,308 --> 00:16:15,410
- You are so hot.
- I know.
364
00:16:16,779 --> 00:16:18,579
You know what makes you so hot?
365
00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:21,115
Your skin, your eyes, your hair,
366
00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,417
your intuitive grasp of anger
management psychology.
367
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:26,720
( Moans )
That was kind of weird.
368
00:16:26,788 --> 00:16:28,756
I know.
I like it weird.
369
00:16:30,124 --> 00:16:31,725
You want to hear
something else weird?
370
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:34,094
I almost hit a guy
with a lamp the other day.
371
00:16:34,162 --> 00:16:35,730
You want to hear more
about that, huh?
372
00:16:35,797 --> 00:16:38,833
Does that turn you on?
Does it, little girl?
373
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,269
Where are we going with this?
374
00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:42,870
I'll tell you
where we're going.
375
00:16:42,938 --> 00:16:44,305
We're going to this couch.
376
00:16:44,373 --> 00:16:46,507
Oh, no, no, no.
No, better.
377
00:16:46,575 --> 00:16:48,309
You sit in the chair.
378
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:52,214
Here, maybe take some notes.
Lots of notes.
379
00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:55,384
Are you having a stroke?
380
00:16:55,451 --> 00:16:56,919
What the hell is going on?
381
00:16:56,986 --> 00:16:58,988
Come on, just go with it.
382
00:16:59,055 --> 00:17:01,190
You can be the therapist
and I'm gonna tell you stuff.
383
00:17:01,258 --> 00:17:02,725
And if you want,
384
00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:05,529
you can play with yourself
while I'm doing it.
385
00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,698
Okay, let's stop.
386
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,667
What is going on here?
387
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,435
( Sighs )
388
00:17:12,971 --> 00:17:15,239
I have to get back
into therapy.
389
00:17:15,307 --> 00:17:17,975
My anger issues have come up
again and I need your help.
390
00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:19,977
Nope. Go see
somebody else.
391
00:17:20,045 --> 00:17:22,613
But you're the only
therapist I trust.
392
00:17:22,681 --> 00:17:25,750
But things are going so well
between us right now.
393
00:17:25,817 --> 00:17:28,819
I mean, we feel nothing for
each other and it's working.
394
00:17:30,122 --> 00:17:32,056
If you come to see me,
395
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:34,325
sex is out of the question.
396
00:17:34,392 --> 00:17:36,627
But you haven't even read
that study I made up.
397
00:17:38,197 --> 00:17:41,766
Okay, look, if you
say you need me,
398
00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:43,768
I could never say no to you.
399
00:17:43,836 --> 00:17:46,205
But I am just talking
about therapy, okay?
400
00:17:46,272 --> 00:17:48,573
If we go this way,
401
00:17:48,641 --> 00:17:50,208
then we are friends
with no benefits.
402
00:17:50,276 --> 00:17:52,143
Can't we hang on
to some of the benefits?
403
00:17:52,211 --> 00:17:53,979
A COBRA plan, if you will.
404
00:17:56,115 --> 00:17:58,850
Sorry, Charlie, you'll have to put
your COBRA back in your pants.
405
00:18:00,854 --> 00:18:03,456
- Can I get one last extension?
- No, I'm afraid not.
406
00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:05,625
Actually, I have some paperwork
for you to fill out.
407
00:18:05,692 --> 00:18:08,628
All right, but you'd
better be worth it,
408
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:11,164
'cause this thing has already turned
into a bureaucratic nightmare.
409
00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:15,568
- ( Doorbell rings )
- Coming.
410
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,339
- Hi.
- Hey, Jen.
411
00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:21,041
I just need a minute with Sean.
412
00:18:21,109 --> 00:18:23,210
I got back into therapy and I want
to straighten some things out.
413
00:18:23,277 --> 00:18:24,978
Whoa, Sean.
414
00:18:25,046 --> 00:18:28,849
Got like a camouflage
thing going on.
415
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:32,052
Listen, I shouldn't have
lost my temper like I did.
416
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,887
Anger is an ugly mistress.
417
00:18:33,955 --> 00:18:36,389
Maybe you should
stop banging her.
418
00:18:36,457 --> 00:18:38,925
That's good. That's good.
I'm gonna use that in my group.
419
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,896
- Oh, good.
- Anyway, I am really sorry.
420
00:18:42,964 --> 00:18:45,065
If you knew the shame and
humiliation this has caused me.
421
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:48,035
And Sam is smart enough
to make her own decisions.
422
00:18:48,102 --> 00:18:50,804
And I wish you and Jen
the very best.
423
00:18:50,872 --> 00:18:53,340
And I hope that maybe even someday
you and I can be friends.
424
00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:54,942
What do you say?
425
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,776
85% chance
that'll never happen.
426
00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:03,850
That's okay.
He's still mad, but he'll come around.
427
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,452
I hope not.
I just broke up with him.
428
00:19:08,155 --> 00:19:11,191
What? Why'd you let me
go through all that?
429
00:19:11,258 --> 00:19:14,294
Because it was painful for you,
which made it fun for me.
430
00:19:15,663 --> 00:19:17,664
Sean's just too opinionated.
431
00:19:17,731 --> 00:19:19,399
Plus he manscapes really weird.
432
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,802
I won't tell you what he does,
433
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,671
but he calls it
the Abe Lincoln.
434
00:19:32,579 --> 00:19:35,880
I think you felt like you
were losing control of Sam
435
00:19:35,948 --> 00:19:37,915
because you're only
with her half the time.
436
00:19:37,983 --> 00:19:40,818
Of course.
The guy was a complete jerk,
437
00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:43,020
but my anger was based
in guilt over my divorce.
438
00:19:43,088 --> 00:19:47,025
Exactly. Ooh, sorry, Charlie.
I have to kick you out.
439
00:19:47,092 --> 00:19:48,626
But we'll pick
this up next week.
440
00:19:48,694 --> 00:19:51,697
Would it be inappropriate if I
gave you a big hug right now?
441
00:19:51,764 --> 00:19:54,633
Yes. It would be
completely inappropriate.
442
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:58,470
Oh, come on, Kate.
Not the kind of hug you're thinking of.
443
00:19:58,538 --> 00:20:00,539
It's the kind of hug
you'd give your best friend
444
00:20:00,607 --> 00:20:02,975
when she's really
helped you out.
445
00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:06,511
Okay. A quick
therapeutic one.
446
00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:16,355
Charlie, we can't do this.
447
00:20:16,422 --> 00:20:19,258
I think we can.
Don't you want to?
448
00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:21,761
Of course I want to,
but it's different now.
449
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,596
I'm inside your head.
450
00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:26,032
I'd feel like I was taking
advantage of a patient.
451
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,734
I'm not a patient.
I'm also a therapist.
452
00:20:27,801 --> 00:20:29,236
Ah, but you're
not my therapist.
453
00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:32,472
- It's not equal.
- Interesting.
454
00:20:34,642 --> 00:20:36,709
How does that make you feel?
455
00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:40,546
Conflicted.
456
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,615
You mean the way you felt about
your alternately warm and loving,
457
00:20:43,683 --> 00:20:45,417
yet cold and hypercritical
father?
458
00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:48,586
Are you trying to analyze me?
459
00:20:48,654 --> 00:20:50,621
You know you could
use it as much as me.
460
00:20:50,689 --> 00:20:53,658
And the code was only created
to protect the patient
461
00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:55,693
from a potentially
manipulative therapist.
462
00:20:55,761 --> 00:20:57,227
It doesn't say one thing about
463
00:20:57,295 --> 00:20:59,830
hot therapist-on-therapist
action.
464
00:20:59,897 --> 00:21:02,332
You know what, Doctor?
465
00:21:04,268 --> 00:21:07,938
I think I just had a breakthrough.
Let's do this.
466
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:11,842
I wasn't expecting this.
467
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:14,844
But I got these just in case.
468
00:21:15,371 --> 00:21:19,221
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.addic7ed.com